Space Station 13 Review | AHELP: Clown Grief Pls Ban He™
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- Опубликовано: 16 мар 2019
- The singularity is loose, the AI is malfunctioning and the air is plasma.
Good luck out there, spaceman.
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Outro song by Chris Remo of the Idle Thumbs Podcast. 
Игры
The N Word bomb backfiring was Shakespearean.
Lmao I was thinking the same thing, it couldn't have worked out more poetically if they had tried
If he set it to Police that probably would have worked better.
Guy like that would have yelled FUCK THE POLICE at security for sure
@UCY8CoQw0vXywdDxdD4NjduA Probably shouldn't do that.
@@getthegoons but he wouldn't have had the time to get to the head of security
@@zeeb2190 yeah but it would have been less dangerous than the word he chose.
“There’s more stories to tell, but we’d literally be here for hours.”
That’s fine by me
"there's more stories but it'll take hours"
And?
Tell me about Cargonia
That could be a series, holy shit, I havent laughed so hard in a long time.
*in squilliums voice* well? We're waiting...
I really want a few more vids from him telling stories, these are great!
My first game:
- Spawned as an assistant.
- Walked around cluelessly trying to mop the floor because I have no idea how anything works.
- Wandered into an abandoned part of the station.
- Met a nice man there who told me he's practicing "Ghetto science". He handed me some sort of grenade and told me to use it well.
- I thanked him and left, then *immediately* set it off in the main hallway while trying to figure out how to throw stuff.
- It was a plasma grenade.
- Got burned, beaten up by security, and hauled off to medical.
- Wake up after several minutes, apparently the station is now overrun by zombies and aliens.
- Picked up a laser gun and tried to shoot at the aliens.
- Shot myself in the head with a ricotcheting laser beam instead.
I like this game already.
badass ending
Absolutely based
Hella scuffed Dead Space.
Lmfao
"How the fuck does a laser beam ricochet?!!"
"Reflective surfaces GARY and lightsabers"
- first round
- janitor, mop floors but slow and bad
- janitor borg comes by and cleans everything instantly
- fall in love
- propose to the borg. We get AI approval.
- get my lawyer to convince captain to legalize silicon marriage
- finally get a priest to host our marriage ceremony in the temple
- our priest gets devoured by a giant tomato, but we finish the ceremony
- janiborg carries me out of the chapel as you would a bride
- accidentially throws me into the opposing wall at 200 mph, shattering my spine
- we spend our honeymoon in medbay
What if we married at ss13 😳😳😳
@@kelotane haha jk... Unless...😳😳😳
This is brilliant. I’m wheezing. 🤣
A year later and this still brings a tear to my eye 😢
Truly; romance can only be achieved at terminal velocity, and I dare you to argue otherwise.
Holy shit, he surgically removed that assistant's n-word pass.
didnt work though
@@blahblahcvsmith668 He exploded when he said it didn't he?
Thats how my grandpa died
@@galaxianinsomniac9953 rip in peace
@@blahblahcvsmith668 It actually worked perfectly. He died.
Space Station 13 is exactly what a society would look like if the internet made it's own nation.
I hate how right you are
You that like it's a bad thing.
All the fun cool people would be clowns and the cringe role players would be any role that is not clown. clown is the best role.
Hey Ferb, I know what we're gonna do today!
@@TheSimplyJJP second best role are janitors. They can help clown with wiring shit and free lube
I love how Sseth's normal exaggeration of details doesnt work here. He's completely serious
It's probably why he loves it so much.
Furfag need to disapear one way or another
First game I spawned as wizard
-Spent 10 minutes figuring out how to knock people out with magic
-Called sec to my room where one corner was utterly dark
-Everytime someone from sec came in I knocked them out and stuffed them into a dark corner
-Kept complaining about sec never coming although they were
-Knocked out the entirety of sec and then chaos ensues
-Drug cartels, aliens, prositutes, furries, bombs, shit was going on outside
-Admin came in so I bombed the room
-Killed all of sec, space station ran itself down, and then I got banned
11/10
First of all, you were an antag. You can't be banned for that.
@@crossiant1795 Tell that to the admin who banned me lmao
@@LeoZhao01 i will make a second account on byond and tell them they are stupid
@@LeoZhao01 But if this was on something like goonstation then yeh, the admins are stupid
@@crossiant1795 As best said by Sseth "Power Hungry Megalomaniacs"
You literally tried to send security an N Bomb
Ye
Seems super legit 👏👍
And as usual its the nigga fault that the plan failed ;)
sorry. bad sportsmanship
N
NBOMe*
"Amazing. Spectacular. Don't play it."
F for the servers
F
@@tavinhead2922 We're dying out here
Colonial.marines has almost 300players and it jut crahed
Every server has at least twice the normal amount of players, bless
Even our little retarded HRP server got like 10 new players. Send help.
My first game:
-spawn as lizardman assistant
-try to figure out how things work
-do my own tutorial in bar
-learn how to eat, sleep, drink, fight, and use objects
-was practicing with abandoned medical gear, including wearing uniform
-security comes in with dead/dying clown, demands I revive him
-beat the clown to death with chest paddles while sec screams at me
-separate paddles
-revive clown
-celebratory beers
-clown explodes
-bar is on fire
-run out screaming
-slip on puke
-flailing and screaming manages to put me out
-limp into medical
-in biohazard section somehow
-doctor sees me
-thinks I'm bomber cuz I don't got authorization, and the door was open
-beats me to death with blunt end of electric saw because he forgot to turn it on.
D...do you know what made the clown explode?
Seeing a lizard on his space station, most likely. Fuck lizard.
Jfj
Gog
the best part about this is that the clown almost certainly planned this from the start, based on my experience with clowns.
My first game of SS13, like many others, was spent wandering around cluelessly. There was a wizard running around and, generally, just causing shit and I asked if I could be his apprentice to learn the Wizarding ways. He agreed and for the next little bit, I just followed him around, "learning", as he was generally just a little shit to Sec.
Eventually, Sec and the Captaun had had enough of his shit and they killed the Wizard, leaving his body where it fell. Seeing an opportunity, I, being the upstanding Assistant I was, immediately stole the dead man's hat, cliths and staff. Now, I couldn't actually cast spells, so I had to make my own and headed off on my journey to become a real Wizard.
My wandering eventually brought me to the bar, where I found a folding chair I could pick up. This was it. I had found it. My first spell!
I asked the nearest group of patrons if they wanted to see a magic trick, to which, ellated by my presence, they said yes. Taking my new spell in hand, I shouted the ancient incantation "CHAIR!" and smacked the nearest guy in the chest with it. I guess he had been injured already and ignoring the obvious signs, because he crumpled dead on the spot.
His friends didn't seem to like the magic trick, because they reported a wizard to Sec, and while the spectators waited for Sec to show up, they beat me half to death. When Sec showed up, they shot me dead and lit my body on fire. I guess Sec thought they didn't kill the Wizard good enough the forst time, so they had to do it gooder this time.
Bless their paint chip eating hearts.
that 5th paragraph/section has me fucking crying lmao
"I'm going to make this pencil disappear" - the Joker
lmao one of the best stories
"Help, he's turning her into a Papa's John" I died
I haven't laughed so hard in a long time.
This man saves me from feeling sad xD
I also almost died of laughter
I'm currently dead due to laughter.
"Sodomy Chamber"
"Homeo and Juliet"
This video is full of LE DJEMS
"He's turning her into a Papa John's" got me pretty good.
The consent part finished me off, I literally fell down when he called for sec
SAME
Top 10 anime characters.
I cant even.
You cant consent to being a pizza
my first game as a genetcist was wild, i devoted my entire career in genetics to create cat people...cat girls and cat femboys. upon creating the feline-sapien, i am informed by security i have violated copyrights of another corporation...where i was throne into the cells...until i was rescued by communists. who freed me and regarded me as a hero of the revolution for seizing the means of reproduction.
this fucking game.
The means of reproduction lmao
always walking around with the same gimmicks are they
getting saved by commies was the worst part, wasn't it
I died at "seizing the means of reproduction"
Hahahaha
My personal favorite story in Space Station 13 was about 5 or 6 years ago.
-I was a Traitor Roboticist.
-About 5 minutes or so into the round, the Captain makes an announcement.
-"IF YOU CAN BEAT ME IN A BOXING MATCH, I WILL GIVE YOU MY SPARE ID!"
-I'd have to be a fucking idiot to pass up that opportunity.
-I go to the dormitories/recreational area and accept the Captain's challenge.
-I proceed to get a couple of cheap shots in "before the bell" because I wanted that spare ID.
-Captain gets mad, but the fight goes on.
-I proceed to beat him within an inch of his life while a few people watch.
-The captain relents after bitching about the cheap shots I took earlier on.
-I get the ID while proclaiming myself the "UNIVERSAL HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION"
-I go to the bar to celebrate my victory and tell the tale to the patrons while also pondering my next plan of action with this full access ID.
-Captain comes back into the bar sloshed off his ass.
-Takes a cheap shot at me.
-I take the bottle of whiskey I was enjoying shots of and crack it on his skull.
-I get off scot-free despite hitting the Captain with a fucking weapon because witnesses sided with me when I claimed self-defense.
-At some point, I figure I gotta get back to my damn job.
-I ask the admins if they can slip me a championship belt to go along with my UNIVERSAL HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION roleplay (for some reason, I couldn't buy one through the uplink).
-For some godforsaken reason, they accept. Lucky me, because you get a bunch of cool ass wrestling moves with it on.
-My kill target was a medical doctor.
-A traitor buddy (a janitor) proceeds to pretend to be KO'd in the Robotics Lab.
-As he comes in, I close the door and bolt it. The power goes out due to another traitor going apeshit elsewhere.
-I proceed to beat the ever living piss out of this man and proceed to get him in a chokehold.
-I tell him if he had any last words before hitting an Atomic Powerbomb and gibbing him on the spot.
-The traitor janitor proceeds to clean the mess up before we proclaimed ourselves the Universal Tag Team Champions Of The WOOOOOOOOOORLD
-Shuttle gets called because of all the chaos going on elsewhere.
-Me and the janitor get out scot-free, with no one any the wiser.
amazing story.
those are the best kinds of games
That sounds like a Hitman 47 game lol
"Nice work,Agent 47. Now make your way to the extraction point."
Take my like good sir, thank you for the amazing story holy shit XD AHAHAHAHAHHA
@@LordOfGilneas Best part is mostly him beating s**t out of captain and hitting him with bottle,lol
>You can't consent to being a pizza
This legendary line needs to be immortalized in song.
"I took a pill in ibiza..... to show avicci i was cool"
into
"you cant consent to being a pizza.."
@Yousef Ghaneemah let them :)
@@erykbuczek4704 Ibiza is pronounced "I-bee-thuh"
Degenerate.
@@RahnekGaming it's not
@@lauridscm1 Yes it is. You're probably to poor to travel the world if you think it isn't.
I remember playing space station 13 for the first time. I spawned in as a janitor. A man sedated me, brought me to the infirmary.
"X fed you something, it tastes sweet!"
"X fed you something, it tastes sweet!"
"X fed you something, it tastes sweet!"
"X fed you something, it tastes sweet!"
"X fed you something, it tastes sweet!"
"X fed you something, it tastes sweet!"
"X fed you something, it tastes sweet!"
"X fed you something, it tastes sweet!"
It was potassium
I wonder how you found out
@@youruncle2 Probably By Exploding From Drinking Water
Better sweet than salty!
Potassium
OH NO!
My first game as an assistant.
I was sent by a group to find members for a game of DnD. I went out and found a friendly janitor. He asked me to help carry some tools to a teleporter room, once inside the closet, he tackled me and put a brain control device on me. I then became a slave for his bizarre teleporter experiments. I was even teleported into the AI core, though I was unable to get the devices needed before I was got, then yoinked back out.
Upon returning to my master, he had new plans. He handed me a crowbar and said that once I was given the signal, I would know what to do. A poor sap was teleported into the room, and after a quick monologue, I beat the man to near death. Then the cops showed up. I was dragged, barely conscious back to the med bay where my mind cap was removed. I saw that the station was in chaos. I wandered around for a short time before coming across my erstwhile master laying bleeding on the floor. I joined in the thugs, and eventually, he himself was brain capped by someone else. Satisfied with my tasks, I returned to the common room, only to find that the DnD game was over.
"Bro, you totally bailed on our dnd sesh, what happened?"
"Sorry dude, I kidnapped and enslaved, then forced to murder someone. Wont happen again"
Oof, sucks that you missed the game.
clowns are almost always a force to be fucking reckoned with in this game. when a person selects clown, they know exactly what they're doing. most of the clowns i've encountered are veterans of the game, every hotkey memorized, every interaction pre-planned. they are machevellian, they are powerful, they are intelligent, and the only mercy is that you might not always be their target.
I agree, most clowns i ever spoke to on Goon had literally every piece of knowledge and meta at that time, notably NOOT and Chtucky
This rose the player count on my normal server from around 50 to 150 today.
I can't do anything.
Send help.
@Nome Sobrenome this is a seth video only cancer here
wtf im literally playing ss13 right now
@Nome Sobrenome They''ll be banned and never be able to play again
rip goon 2
Wish he'd make a vid on risk of rain
TBH, would not mind hours of space station 13 stories
Listen to the sleepycast podcast s02ep06 griefing and game desing, swayne has some stories
Hell, I have like 700 hours of just OBSERVING rounds of SS13. This game cured my bored gamer-syndrome.
Agreed. I could listen to SSeth stories on pretty much any game for hours.
@@angustmeta4641 I didn't even know you could observe games... always wanted to check this out but, like most games of its kind, the steep learning curve always put me off
Rebranding as STORYTIMERUclipsR lel
I'm dying from laughter
Not my first time, but my most memorable.
I'm an Engineer. The AI has gone Rogue. This sumbitch was clever though, re-routing power to low traffic areas and cranking their systems. We were reasonably competent Engineers so the engine was up and running, the APC's were nice and charged, and everything seemed normal. Science starts yelling about blackouts, followed swiftly by Medical. My PDA tells me that power supply and demand are perfectly normal (so they're not doing something stupid and trying to pull 1.21GW off the grid) and everything else seems fine, so I start trawling the engineering corridors looking for cut wires or general signs of sabotage. Pretty soon after the APC's in other areas have depleted their emergency batteries and widespread blackouts occur. Several Heads of staff are missing, including Head of Engineering (he was discreetly eviscerated and blown out an airlock by the Security cyborg, who had been suborned by the AI), the Roboticist can't access the AI core, and our PDA's insist that everything is fine with the power. The shoe finally drops.
I don't know whether Security managed to take down the 'borg or whether we just got incredibly lucky because myself and my compatriots in crisis never encountered it. Comms were dead, the AI had activated the station self-destruct, and I was busily prying open the unpowered and bolted firelocks that the AI had closed in every corridor, when a scientist runs up to me asking for help. He knows where the AI has sequestered its core, he has a teleporter hooked up, but he needs power. I jury-rig some wiring from one of the solar arrays, hook up the room, and... I can't actually turn on the power because the APC is flat. SHIT. I go and rip a cell charger out of a wall, hook it directly to my extremely exposed and extremely live wiring from Solar (thank you Insulated Gloves!) and we get the APC online. I have the foresight to snip the AI control wiring before turning it back on so we now have a single room with power. Another scientist (maybe Atmos? Chemistry?) walks in, dragging a reserve gas canister, and declares that he has "a bomb". Now to be clear, this isn't the gas bottles you can grab from everywhere in the station, this isn't even the portable canisters that you can recharge those smaller canisters in; this is the BIG one, that you have to bolt to the floor and physically hook up using pipes and valves to even operate. ONE of these can contain enough O2 to keep entire sections of the Station habitable while they're actively leaking atmosphere. I have a vague idea of what he has created, which is a bomb big enough to kill God.
I'm the only one with tools and a space suit, so the job falls to me to go and take out this AI. I'm given a jet pack the first scientist had ready for what came next, and teleported very close to the small station the AI has ejected its core into. A few seconds later the bomb appears behind me. I think the AI immediately figured out what I was carrying and the implications for what would happen if it shot at me with live rounds; the auto turrets surrounding its station are set to stun. I manage to tether myself to the bomb and squirt myself towards the substation before the turrets open up on me. A few minutes of being relentlessly stunned while bouncing along the outside of the substation, I come to a stop in a blind spot between turrets. There is now about three minutes left before the station self-destructs. The AI was hoping to keep me stunned and wait out the clock. I start TEARING into the wall, unscrewing, prying, cutting, literally disassembling entire wall panels to create my own access. I get into the station, and the AI has flooded the corridor surrounding its core with burning plasma. Well, shit. There's no way I can stop this AI and survive. I rip apart the last bulkhead, burning plasma sprays onto me and I'm barely able to take damage before it hits the canister behind me.
I have no idea what happened next because the client locked up until the game ended. I ASSUME the canister breached, and the subsequent explosion was so massive it wiped out the entire substation in one go, because simulating mass destruction of station tiles is pretty good at bricking a server and client. I don't know if killing the AI meant that we won, or if the Station exploded anyway. But Engineer Tom Woods died a fucking hero's death.
o7
Tom Woods died a system shock protagonist.
"I'm doing my part!"
My first game was also pretty chaotic.
-Spawned in as Trey Baxter, Janitor.
-I don’t know any controls and eventually trap myself in maintaining with my own janitor cart.
-After a while, someone comes through the maint tunnel and moves the cart
-express my gratitude and get into the main hallway
-blood and ash EVERYWHERE. Gibs spread across the halls.
-Radio goes off saying that a Traitor has been blowing up everything
-throw on my mask and oxygen tank and get to work
-almost die because I forgot to turn on the oxy tank
-accidentally forget to put down a sign while mopping
-guy with a lightsaber slips on my soapy puddle
-security comes by and also slips on said puddle
-security starts beating the crap out of this dude while they’re all rolling on the puddle and get to the point where blood overtakes my clean puddles
-security praises me for slipping the traitor and leaves me with a bloody mess
-rest of the shift is just cleaning blood and gore while knowing that I slipped a traitor
"Just keep cleaning~ just keep cleaning~" -you c:
Classic Jani take-down. Seen a nukie be taken out by a Jani with soap and a mop lmao
"dont play this game"
Tells a story of a group of friends going on a mission impossible-esque task to launch space furries into the black abyss
To be fair, everybody who played like that got banned after the first month or so
they had a mission and they fucking did it
@@TheEnderLeader1 wait, the killers or the furries?
@@setenabled depends on the server
Well, when you put it like that......
13/10 *Best Game Ever*
Love how the clown specifically mentioned Papa Johns instead of just pizza
you mean the ANAL clown
Because Papa John's is clearly an abomination
@@mattsumune9110 So if he had cried out "Dominoes" would the medical crew arrive?
**A WEAPON TO SURPASS PAPA JOHN INTENSIFIES**
I guess if he yelled TACO BELL that's immediate emergency evacuation
Decided to become a miner
Found an obelisk
Touched it, it proceeded to strip my skin off and turn me into a Cyborg.
Decided to start a Cyborg cult pulling the obelisk with me around the station.
At the end half of the station became cyborgs, the other half being wiped out by a rad storm.
20/10 game.
Proof that the surety of steel is your only salvation.
@@DecidelyUnethical Praise the Omnissiah
I come back to this video once in a while to share my stories lol
I once played as a lawyer and forced a station to become a democracy (in principle). I drafted a constitution, went around for support and got engineering to back me up with the communications engineer spamming propaganda on the chatbox for our call for democracy to the station. Security tried to crack down on the protests led by some greytides but cargo backed us up, while the chaplain managed to pray to the space gods and made the Head of Security drop their support for the Captain through telepathy.
We had the constitution signed and made history as being a beacon of democracy in space. However as we made deals with the Captain and his officers, some nukies ambushed the station and we got fucked in the courtroom. Turns out engineering was on it all along and supported my calls for democracy to destabilize the station.
We got nuked, 10/10.
Based
I honestly want nothing more than hours of stories
Or check out Boatbomber, he has a bunch of story videos
ruclips.net/user/BoatBombervideos
LIFEHACK! Play the game like a mindless sperg (i say it from experience) and at the end of the month start remembering what you did! it will look worse to you after you did it i GUARANTEE IT !
PLZ DO MORE !!!
"FIRTEEN"
This would make a great sitcom
"We would literally be here for hours"
I am begging you
Please do this
Shit oko has invaded into youtube as well we are all fucked
every good player can tell a bunch of stories just from opening their admin notes and reading them out. Heres one of mine "Forced the clown to say the N word as a miner with a wicker doll"
@@CassiusFA Just had round where there were hundreds of npc clowns. I was an ERT and died fighting.
In my first game I was an assistant just running around, getting a feel for the station when a guy comes out of medical and said "Hey, do you want to be a bird?"
"What?"
"Do you want to be a bird?"
"...Yes?"
He gave me a syringe that turned me into a bird. I was a cockatail. We all made it to the escape shuttle. The other sentient birds were really nice. I miss them
First time i played traitor-
-Spawn as a Vampire
-This is one of the first times I've played, I still dont know how to craft and need to make a Coffin before i burn in the sunlight
-I run into the library and destroy all the bookcases and floorboards
-On my way back to my hiding place
-Sun rises, and i start to desintigrate
-Frantically I hide in a locker
-Still burning, but more slowly
-I make it back to my hiding spot and make a coffin
-Now trying to find someone and some blood
-Sun comes out again, and i nearly die, again hiding in a closet
-Limp to Medical, feign being human so the medic wont suspect anything
-He assumes I fucked up trying to hack something, and we chat about insulated gloves
-He heals me, I leave medical, and I immediately explode, as some other traitor had set up some bombs nearby.
10/10 Fantastic game
I remember one round I was playing Bartender and someone had force fed an explosive to one of my patrons, a doctor, who had been drinking heavily, and the resulting explosion severed all of his limbs, however, he was so drunk he literally could not feel it.
So naturally, taking the responsibility of taking my patrons home safely to it's natural conclusion, I took him to surgery because all of medbay was locked open by a traitor, so everyone had full access.
with no anesthesia beyond the extreme amounts of alcohol and being coached through replacing all of the man's limbs through drunken slurs, I managed to fully replace all of his limbs and save him from death
after this, in gratitude of my actions, the doctor made me honorary surgeon, and so I was given full reign on surgery and the patients it received
So naturally, when the captain came in with no eyes, I replaced them with flashlights so he would never live in darkness again
r/thathappenedss13
@@caraaleatorio4291 Dude fuck off i was the doc.
@@caraaleatorio4291 Let me guess. You think this happened in real life
Stfu weeb
@@lilyliao9521 r/thathappenedSS13 also r/whooosh
Man singlehandedly overloads every single server in existence with no mercy
Space assshooooole
Man forcefeeds poison lasagna to defenseless astronauts.
Except Paradise, even pubbies have standards.
@@ShadowDimentio paradise is rekt too, its overwhelmed with about 250% of its usual population, and 150% of it being griefing baldies
Yogstation actually crashed from it I think
Got into this game recently, so let me tell you how my first couple days of experience went
I:
-Played coach and covered an entire station in pen writing that all described how cool the NFL is, forming a cult in the process that hijacked the announcements and somehow disabled a nuke in the process
-Did something similar as a painter, writing yo mama jokes over a station until i was absorbed by the changeling after driving a wheelchair into the local trench and being harassed by a fish
-Was an alien ambassador who was bludgeoned and thrown in the trash disposal until i was saved and cloned into a melting cum man before we were sucked into a black hole
-Formed a saxophone trio while running in a circle around a table from a werewolf. We somehow survived despite taking tiny stops to play notes
-Played a Clown that was forcefully given extra chromosomes by a lab assistant
-Saw the pool get filled with acid, jumped in it via the diving board and somehow survived, the next guy and 10 monkeys did not
-Had my ass removed by a wizard who did the same thing to everyone else, mocking us for being brap challenged
-Reincarnated as a butterfly who was held and pet by a cyborg. He accidentally strangled me to death and wailed in grief in the chat, before throwing my corpse into space as a final farewell while a clown played a bagpipe
Poor butterfly
Recently tried SS13 for the first time. Let me regale you of how my first game went.
The round had already started, so the autistic fuckery had already begun a while ago, but there was more to be had. I spawned in as a meatman cytologist, specifically researching blood cells in meatmen. It took me a good 15 minutes to understand the basic controls, but once I did, all bets were off. It was go time.
I started my career as a cytologist by immediately raiding the chemical lockers for anything and everything that was held within. Initially, I was going to actually contribute to the scientific community with peer reviewed research. However, upon realizing I was a being made of grocery store bargain bin meats with access to unstable, pathogenic viruses and assorted medical instruments, my aims very quickly changed. With an assortment of beakers containing rhinovirus, unstable mutagens and several other questionably safe compounds now in my possesion, I began my search the syringes. Luckily for me, there was a box full of them not 10 feet away from me on the counter. Instinctively, I immediately began filling the empty syringes with the unstable mutagens and rhinovirus, ready to proudly administer the new "vaccines" that medical R&D had cooked up. But there was a problem. See, all the while I was gathering materials to give the crew their non-negotiable vaccinations, my fellow researcher was watching me from a distance, and I was none the wiser. As I finished filling my bag with my "loopy juice", he confronted me, asking what I was doing with all of our dangerous chemicals and syringes. In a justified, calm and collected way, I grabbed a wrench on a nearby counter and savagely beat him to death with it, so he couldn't alert security to my shenanigans. After I finished turning my fellow meatman into pulverized ground beef, I gathered my supplies for my trek to the other parts of the station. I grabbed blood bags, which I injected with rhinovirus and unstable mutagen, my wrench, my bag of goodies, and went along my way.
Yet despite all my preparation and nearly being ratted on by my (now dead) fellow researcher, I was just beginning to learn how quickly this game can go sideways. As I left the cytology compound, I realized that there was a blizzard outside, and I had no thermal clothing. Oh well, I figured, I'll just go back inside and wait for it to pass. No. Instead, I went to open the door to the compound, only to realize that the door locked from the inside, and I had no way to access it. Figuring there was no point in freezing to death outside the scene of my crime, I trekked on towards the main facility, or at least I attempted to. About 5 minutes into my journey, my beefman was beginning to get very, very cold, and I didn't have much time before my situation turned critical. So, I reached into my pandoras box of disease, grabbed an unstable mutagen syringe, and injected myself with it, thinking it would turn me into a super meatman who could take on below 0 temperatures with no issue. It went well for all about 20 seconds, until I suffered a stroke, and collapsed in the snow. Somehow god smiled upon me that day, because a security officer who decided to wander away for a little R&R, found me face down in the snow. Apparently, I was about 100 feet from the main facility. Anyways, I was brought inside and sent to medical where I was being treated by the single most retarded licensed physician I have ever met.
I was placed on the surgical bed, being treated by a Doctor Jameson. His first instinct was to reach into my bag, grab a blood bag, and hook me up to an IV. Mind you, I suffered from hypothermia and frostbite, there was no blood loss. And typically, medical professionals use the facilities equipment as to be sterile. But despite that, I was being treated. I slowly began regaining consciousness for a whopping 5 minutes before I died from sepsis. What the doctor didn't know was that he grabbed the blood bag I shot an entire syringe of rhinovirus into. After that, my abhorrent existence was put to an end, allowing me to pass beyond the mortal coil.
10/10, would have a stroke again.
instant karma hahahaha
this game sounds fun
@@feintfaint7213 it Is! And you can play it for a long Time and still be surprised, just remember to take breaks when it starts getting repetitive.
Im in tears after reading this lmao
@@elinquisidorperseverante6835 it won't. If it gets repetitive, you're playing it wrong
Jameson still plays on goon and fulp, I have met him, and while he is smarter, he is thoroughly unrobust. Unless its a different Jameson which could be true.
**walks into hallway where cultists have drawn several runes and summoning circles**
Janitor: "Ok, what is this"
"Im not cleaning up this shit"
@@alexvirgoe4482 lmao
Aurora Borealis.
"No look it's just crayon"
The Janitor: True hardass of SS13.
"We would literally ve here for hours." No please this is some of the funniest stories I've heard please do more.
Play the game its legit. The average game is like this.
after 10 years of playing, and 700 episodes on my channel, I can say that this is pretty much run of the mill average for ss13. Crazy stuff is, well, unique.
more more more
@@theblackpantslegion Hi Tex. Knew I'd see you here somewhere~
@@theblackpantslegion YOOOO I like your stuff.
I think the words "you can't consent to being a pizza" sum this game up perfectly.
Just played my first few games and this was the very first one:
Started off as Botany, eventually getting to the botany quarters. There was a decapitated man on the floor and the botany crew was discussing what to do, until I jokingly brought up using him as fertilizer. To my surprise, another botany guy took a chainsaw and maimed the corpse of the decapitated man to put in the fertilizer-maker. It doesn't, and we end up just shipping the body to the chef. The botanist there was already told to grow space weed. We were screwing around for a while and eventually he was told he would get a gun for my own leg. He then politely asked me to take my leg. I agree, and I was eventually being dragged to med bay. On the way, I was shot by a syndicate robot. And then a tear in spacetime appeared, preventing me to get proper care. We had to wait, hoping I wouldn’t die of blood loss before help was available. Eventually, he is able to get me to a infirmary, and he himself had to operate on me. It wasn't pretty, but he got it done. Later, we were experimenting and made rainbow weed. We sold some off, and eventually had some ourselves. Though a bounty was put on for my head. This was when the botany member revealed he was a bounty hunter, but he did not kill me because we were friends by this point. We then had to set up defense, by hotboxing the room outside ours and arming ourselves to protect me. We leave the ship scot-free, somehow.
The dreams I have at night in a nutshell.
Spend 2000 dollars on a top of the line gaming rigg only to play dwarf fortress and space station 13
At least you don't have to complain about Chrome using too much RAM
@Earthworm Jim only 2k on pc that was meant to run dwarf fortress? Holy moly, my nasa super computer stutters
and other shit like might and magic lolololol, thats why hes gotta do runescape
@@luandoduy416 Check out "The great suspender" on the chrome addon store, you won't regret it.
Worth
Some cool chemistry facts that I learned while playing the game
1. Eating napalm makes you flammable
2. Having a cigarette in your pocket while flammable will ignite you
3. Leporazine stabilizes your body temperature so quickly that being on fire doesn't hurt you
4. While ignited, you can transfer half of your bodily fire to someone by bumping into them
5. Being on fire will kill an unprepared player very quickly
Please do not run in the halls while on fire, as this may spread the fire to everyone else in the hallway.
Goddamnit, Ive been a chemist for like forever in this game and I havent even thought of turning myself as a walking fire lmao. Gotta try that
but that's the whole point of being on fire
That sounds like something I'd do. Prepare my body to not die while on fire. Set self on fire. Go running back and forth through the hallways hoping to catch as many people on fire as possible in hopes of getting the shuttle called lol
Sounds like the best prank to play as a clown xD
C o v e r y o u r s e l f i n o i l
Basically Dark Souls 2 immolation run. You're on fire and you spread your love by hugging people to death.
I played SS13 almost 3 years ago. During my playtime I've had one hell of a ride.
Before start, I chose to be a scientist - an ordinary chemist. During that time I've tinkered with crafting various explosives, all of which I meticulously collected in my imventory.
For some weird reason I've been arrested by security under accusation of a poisoning attempt. Before handcuffing I managed to ignite one of my explosives - an IED made from coke can, which subsequently exploded outside labs... triggering all explosives in my backpack.
My explosive arrest resistance resulted in destruction of chem lab, botanical lab, medbay and some corridors.
15 minutes later some madman scientist collected my dismembered hand and using some scientific magic, brought me back to life by vatgrowing my cloned body.
that's why I adore this game
my first game:
>spawn as a bartender
>knowing nothing about the game i just went straight to the bar
>some tripulants cant stop requesting me some cocktails
>unable to understand how to take a simple glass of water
>i see that i have a gun
>try to equip it to intimidate the tripulants
>trying to use it i ended up shooting my head
"He's turning her into a Papa John's" is probably the best phrase i've ever heard.
the clown screwed up, he should have started getting people to become freaky food people so he can initiate a LITERAL food fight.
i cant stop randomly thinking of this quote, and proceeding to lose my shit
Chew you havisfaction a singlelicious satisfact to snack that up?
@@ChronoTriggerHappy I kinda want to see the nerds in science have a massive slapfight with pizza arms...
Just imagine what it would sound like in Italian voice Mamma! Mia! He's turning her into a Papa John O's!
My "First Time" (when I actually started to play and not screw around with the controls" was when I chose cook 'cause I heard it's easy. It was. I cooked. After a while, a second cook joined me. Together we wanted to become the biggest cooks in the world. We cooked kebabs, steaks, pizzas and more. Sometime later, some random dude somehow gets into our kitchen. We say "get out of the kitchen" but he didn't move. Suddenly he started pushing us around, and even go as far as take my kitchen knife. Luckily, my cooking friend came from behind and knocked him unconcious with a fire extinguisher. We didn't want the security to see it, so we quickly dragged the body into the cooling room, leaving a big blood trail behind. I asked "What do we do now?" and all he said was "Hamburger.". So, we started chopping. Limb by limb, body part by body part. We cut him into pieces, and turned these pieces into burgers that the people ate. They never knew. When we ran out of food, I saw my friend vanish into the botanists room and he didn't come out after a while. I checked out the chemist and asked him for something "interesting" and he gave me potassium. Sadly, I never got to use it. When i came back, My cook friend called me into the botanists room. He was working on something. A machine. A machine which produces monkeys. He then catches these monkeys and cuts them into pieces while screaming "FRESH MEAT". I was scared yet relieved that we had an inifnite food source. Later on, I don't know why, I just randomly got a heart attack or something. The doctors tried to fix me, but they couldn't. So my dead body was on the evac ship and... I won.
10/10 what an experience
Your friend just solved world hunger
hamboiga
Lemm1ng I once made a virus that made people explode, I couldn’t do much with it because my infected monkey attacked and infected me which sealed my fate and I later exploded into gore and nothing else on the escape shuttle which also blew a hole under where I was which killed everyone on board.
I think I was there for this, but it was long ago...I was bartender
you only get one piece of meat and a piece of human skin when you cut people up, you fucking liar.
my first game:
-Arrive as captain
-shoot my cat
-transfer all station's money to my account
-buy a bike for myself
-speeds around the station shooting anyone who looked sligtly suspicious
-get perma banned from the station
the best game of my life.
I think my favourite video other than this one was where the guy was challenged by a deaf guy to a boxing match and after the match tells the medic that's healing his wounds 'you should see the other guy' just as the deaf guy's carried in dead - gets cloned/revived and then goes 'I DIDN'T HEAR NO BELL'
absolute comedy.
"we'd literally be here for hours" .... You say that like it's a bad thing
the people want more.
I concur. Cover us in SS13 stories, daddy Sseth!
@@nootnoot3741 God damnit
It would be very time consuming
You literally overloaded all the public servers. Absolute madlad.
Already?! Darn it I was going to get on. I need to get a picture of the last character I made to use as a profile image for a game of Space D&D
What a chap
He really wasn't joking about the shitty servers.
The unlisted servers are getting people being displaced from their regular servers so we don't have it nearly as bad, but there's been like a 3000% increase in bans in the past few hours on the one I regular.
Nerezza
Bro, SS13 was my JAM back in the days... used to know every Chemist recipe by heart (which took a LONG time to memorize doing actual trial and error instead of looking it up on the wiki), would have an exact list of tasks I followed to become the ultimate Doctor including working with the Priest to make Strange Regeant and bring people back to life, setting up Hyposprays to inject every manner of useful chemical in an instant or just simply becoming a kingpin of stealing Morphine and setting up an underground drug ring. I knew the location of every rare item in space and how to get to each different Z-level to find them. Loved chopping peoples asses off as Roboticist to make an army of Buttbots to shit everywhere around the station. Loved being an Electrician/Engineer and rewiring the entire station or rerouting plumbing to eject people into space or even breaking into the HoS's office to scan their thermal goggles and mass-produce them for the entire station. Could robust with even the best of traitors and steal their underwear. I could be the best or worst Clown depending upon my mood and how much I figured I could get away with (Janitor too). Pretty much the only class I never really enjoyed playing was Miner. It was just so tedious for barely any reward except for starting out with jetpacks & the ability to instantly go space exploring upon the start of the round.
Sigh, those were the days man... at some point the server I played on decided to do a full revamp of Chemistry, Science, Recipes and any other class that required crafting, changing all those recipes I had once took so many years to learn. At that point I just stopped playing... I had had a good amount of friends and enemies that had made each day special but even they had begun to quit over the years before I did. I can't imagine just how many hours of SS13 I have. It has to be well over 1000 after over a decade of playtime.
Thank you Jman. Your dedication is noted. :)
Sam O’Nella: says nigga in a video, has to take it down
Sseth: drops a hard R, one of his most popular videos
Difference being one doesn’t give half a shit about internet clout on Twitter.
Sseth is Sub-Saharan African tho
"Space lube to the airlock", "security conveyor belt of infinite soda" and "LSD donut gun" can't decide which one of these deserve to be put in to a cartoon the most
My personal favorite is between. "You cannot consent to becoming a Pizza." to fucking coordinating raids of Furry ERpers with a fucking set of explosions and mechs. XD
@@CosmicChris TBH it's basically Warhammer marines fighting followers of Slanesh
How about the atmospheric team making gas chambers?
Yes to all of them
My favorite has to be the incompetant cult that gets defeated by a Janitor mopping the floor so they all stack it trying to kill him.
No memes, I just really appreciate the machinima work to recreate these scenes in the game.
I was thinking the same thing.
then ur weird as fuck
What does Machinima work mean I've never heard of this phrase
@@0Fallacy holy fuck how old are you lol?
@@0Fallacy acting, the gameplay scenes are acted out
Your chenist experience kinda reminds me of my barotrauma medic antics.
Basically i give everyone anaparalysant which gives stun immunity, and psychosis.
Meanwhile i make sure that i got every single dose of any kind anti psychosis drug. Then watch them frantically try to repair things that aren't broken and try to extinguish non existent flames
"don't play it, because if you do, they're gonna blame it on me"
Oh they did, but that was amazing. Honestly, if not for your video, I wouldn't discover this game, which became the best game I have ever played. Thanks a lot for that, Sseth.
"...but just before he left medical, he turned around and said, 'THANKS NIGG--'"
Single greatest moment of all of your videos.
My favorite pokemon is Welfarion.
died laughing for a good 5minutes. LOL
I need to stop using happy pills
My boss is wondering what's so funny.
It was a genious assassination attempt tbh.
Update on the servers, they have quadrupled in population, the locals are not happy, much unrest is forseen in the near future
Gratuitous amounts of cum in all the mailboxes
Hmm sounds familiar
Opinion is turning a bit, normally when the servers get flooded with new people they are unwilling to invest time into reading the wiki to properly learn the game and quit or break rules but the Ssethfugees have proven to be an exception, probably due to the autistic nature of most of the games reviewed on this channel.
My first time playing, I spawned in as a Botanist
Me and my fellow botanists started growing cannabis, giving it to the Chef and the animal keeper person
Soon, one of the lizard botanists discovered we could make meth sandwiches
so we made meth sandwiches, which made you go like 400x faster
Then I discovered a pool of blood in the bar and was recruited into the Revolution
turned out the botanists were rebels
We didn't do anything though, we kept on making meth sandwiches
I unironically want a podcast of Sseth regaling us with hours of fucked up SS13 stories
"After such a horrific display of homicide i realized hey, this games pretty good"
One of my favorite quotes
"he took off my asscheeks and used them as a hat"
i've never expected to hear sth like that in my life
Thats the part that made me die of laughter. I felt sheer awe and disbelief! Lmfao I began screeching unintelligibly
You don't know about buttbots, do you?
@@Jsay18 No... but you have piqued my interest, certainly.
@@stankobarabata2406 I'm not sure if these were removed (probably from most servers because people hate fun) you used to be able to cut people's butts off, and you could even turn them into a robot. They would run around and randomly say "Butt." If they heard a player say something, there was a chance they would repeat that, but random words in the sentence were changed with the word "Butt".
"I need help in Medical!"
"I need Butt in Medical!"
@@stankobarabata2406 Also this: i.imgur.com/fMwC1KY.jpg
Started playing SS13 a few months ago, and recently I decided to try being a Chaplain. Long story short, the clown got smited for trying to eat a cookie that my god manifested to prove he was real.
Can’t believe I’ve come from a paraplegic Quartermaster to a Chaplain partially responsible for the smiting of a clown.
I was bartender, spent an hour getting drunk and getting my patrons even drunker, then got bored and starting making shenanigans - dropin' radmium in my cocktails, Medbay had me revived at least three or four times. Jerked around with Cargo, coming up to their console and ordering 5000 metal plates etc. Found a revolver at the bar and played Russian roulette with my patrons, lost every time, Med clones me back again, I keep drinking, scoring random drugs around the station, and I grow into more and more degenerated versions of myself.
Finally my liver went to shit, and as I am laying on a operating table, fighting for my every inbreath, with a nurse preaching to me about the consequences of my addiction, and robotic's guy contemplating is he able to do the surgery or not, one of my patrons/victims of rad poisoning busts in the Medbay, and screams about an incoming syndicate attack. Nurse is like WE ARE HAVING AN OPERATION HERE, and for a moment, I that he is just trying to get revenge on me for poisoning him and that everything is gonna be just fine, life on SS13 will go on it's merry way, but then a syndicate spaceship blows up half the Medbay, so we unilaterally decide to postpone my operation, put on the oxygen masks and run for it. Me being a bartender means having 0 access to everything, so I get spinning in circles around the remains of the station, and in my last moments of dying, circling around the vacuum with a dwindling supply of O2, and a failing body being crushed by imminent collapse from both within and without, a Nanotrans spec ops grabs me out of nowhere, drags me into the shuttle just a few seconds before blast off.
I die there, on a floor of the shuttle, suffocation finally taking it's hold of me, while watching him and his colleagues mercilessly gunning down the remaining survivors, amongst them, my nurse and the guy I poisoned that tried to warned us, saying that they need to eliminate all the witnesses of that whole fuck up.
Very next round after that, I am a quartermaster, heading towards my new job, and on the way, I step into a bar for a quick cold one before starting the shift. I took the allergy trait, and I start sneezing and having a rash after downing the drink. Bartender assures me that it's regular booze, but the symptoms are quite horrid. I start walking towards the MedBay, and on the way, start talking to a nurse in front of a Robotics clinic. Her colleague, a very pleasant Robotics guy, overhears my complaint about the allergy, and asks me would I rather get borged instead, as that can definitely sort out any future allergy issues. Seeing his point, plus already having two cybernetic arms, I agree with him going ahead with the procedure, and step inside the office.
I sit myself on the chair, and while he is preparing, start imagining how cool my new cyborg body is going to be. All of a sudden, I start having flashes, and hallucinate bugs and body parts beating me up. I start thinking how I'm gonna get that filthy barmen for lying to me, as soon as I don myself with a new RoboCop shell... But it turns out that actually, that was a consequence of debilitating drug that Mr. Robotics induced to me, being that he actually were a mutant changeling, and not a robotics expert, and that he absorbed my DNA into his Hivemind. I spent the rest of the round following his shenanigans around the station, trying to blow up the reactor, and arguing with other Hivemind voices of all the people he previously and subsequently absorbed.
God damn it, I'm in love with this game!
Wasn't my first time, but it was my first truly memorable time:
At the time, I hadn't learned any other roles, so I played for a while as a Bartender. Mixing drinks was cool, and I was ravenous for roleplay. Being able to serve drinks and hear stories that the others brought be was great, and being able to give then counsel was so much fun.
Security comes in. Or should I say, a single member of security. Done with his "shift", as the previous cacophony of gunshots and bloodsplatters had suggested. No mixed drink this time, just straight whiskey. Perfect opportunity to find out what ailed him. As it turns out, he was fed up with his lot in life, and how often it lead to beating the shit out of people... or worse. I suggested that he shouldn't be forcing himself to suffer through what he felt he had to do, and instead do what he wanted to do. He thanked me for the advice... and put a bullet in his head. I was shocked, to say the least. A guy from botany bursts in before I have the time to recover from the shock, let alone do anything else. Understandably, he asked what happened. I answer bluntly, too taken aback to sugarcoat it. He responds "Oh hey I'm in the same boat lol. I fucked up my weed so I wanted to end myself", he picks up the ex-security member's gun and does just that. At this point my character is traumatised (and I'm a little shook, being so into the roleplay). Clown finds the scene, and typically for a lot of these servers, HE'S somehow the vigilant one and calls sec on me. I get jailed for suspected murder, but somehow I avoid police brutality. However, an idea has bubbled up amongst the server; a fun little idea that picked up enough steam to become an unwritten rule. Suddenly, I was the target of a rumour, almost like an urban legend: If you try to talk to the bartender, he'll somehow convince you to kill yourself. Somehow, his words just incited self-destructive tendencies. For the next day or so, anyone who came to the bar would play along against my will, and somehow interpret my words as me urging them to kill themselves. It was a bizarre but funny time.
Someone probably prayed to the gods and the gods answered the call to make whoever talks to you kill themselves lmao
Sounds like a neat SCP Entry, lol
A Kind and Gentle Bartender that will unintentionally make you want to kill yourself if you ever talk to him.
Funny ma
SCP suicide tender?
LowTierGod is that you
"Help Sec To Surgery"
The Clown blurted
"He's turning her into a Papa John's!"
Funniest shit i've ever heard.
"because you cant consent to being a pizza" i was actually having trouble breathing
ROFL
"Hi you're my favorite pizza place" lol
well he was actually a clown so i guess he didi a good job.
I had to pause the video there because I was suffocating
Reminds me of a round where I played a priest, who continually claimed he was a doctor, and beat people with his holy book. Also, burned himself trying to call upon the gods, until he was unconscious, multiple times. The gods having abandoned him, he started a mob that continually grabbed and then threw clowns out the airlock in an attempt to 'control the plague.'
One day i was playing as a janitor, just minding my own business, i dont know why but i had lost a bit of health doing some chores, but i didn't paid too much attention to that detail, minutes later a medic robot comes rushing to me "You have to come with me, you have appendicitis" i think, well it makes sense, so i followed him. The next thing i know is im on a stretcher and this guy literally cuts my head off.. At least he got rid of the appendicitis
Good bot
“You can’t consent to being a pizza” is the hardest I’ve laughed in a long time
I had a friend whose experience in this game basically amounted to the Papal Schism.
He was the Priest and was particularly important. The traitor was a Cult Leader. The traitor managed to fool everyone by masquerading as another devout follower of the Lord. It ended with half of the station locked down in a tense Cold War. R&D and Security sided with the Priest. While everyone sided with the Cult Leader. For fear of starting a massive shootout (R&D and Security had the weapons while everyone else had the numbers except Cargo who wisely decided to back out of the ordeal) the two Popes decided to enact Rap Battles in place of actual warfare in regards to who controls the population. It worked, and the Cult Leader's plan got derailed because he got too interested in playing Pope.
'I am learning how to rap and mesmerizing the bible for... A reason'
Priest : "My rhymes are fly, my beats are sick, my crew is big and it keeps getting bigger, that's cause Jesus Christ is my Nigge-"
@@X-SPONGED *Explodes*
@@sleepdeprivationiscool Funniest part is that this would’ve happened, as medbay sided with the cult leader, and could have implanted the device.
"Hey, Eldrich God here. You're supposed to sacrificing and creating a body for me..." "Sod off biatch, I'm the goddam Pope. Check my fly beats""
Just got into SS13, here's my first timer story.
- Spawn as Bartender
- A man turned monkey comes into the kitchen and fills one of the chemical dispensing machines with mutagen.
-Took Mutagen and mixed it with every single type of alcohol and poured every glass in the bar with the mutagen drink under the name "Flavor Concoction"
- Watched as slowly but surely everyone in the facility drank the mutadrink and mutated, forsaking their own and eventually my humanity.
- Overun the facility with mutants Fallout style and kill all humans.
Overall, I say I had a very good first run.
whispers of "ssethtide" still send our community into fits
Mandalore: The Janitor is the first line of defense against complete anarchy
Sseth: My cultists and I took on a single janitor and lost
Checks out
Don’t fuck with the guy who has access to cleaning grenades, aka “I can turn this entire room/hallway into a slipping hazard if you so much as sneeze in my general direction funny”.
Judo: throwing your opponent by taking advantage of their weight
Mop-fu: agressively mopping the floor to make your opponent slip
@@WingMaster562 it's a similar concept for sure
It was fake people constantly move and his crew didn't.. He was playing offline >:(
He said they happened years ago, it'd have to be a re-enactment to get the visuals.
My first round of Space Station 13 was quite a tragedy.
I chose Mime, because I wanted minimal responsibilities. It turned out I got more than I bargained for. As a Mime I was mute. Unable to speak. I only had crayons I got from the floor, a white paper where I wrote "I am mute" and a sexy saxophone. Since I was new to the game, I just stood in the bar playing George Michael - Careless Whisper. People cheered, thanked me, loved me, took pictures.
I was famous. I escorted people pulling dead bodies through the station. I gave the dead one last journey. It was emotional.
Something happened, we locked ourselves in a maintenance room. We had some kind of priest, constantly praying for our safety, while I George Michaeled as he prayed. We survived.
I heard screaming from the distance. I didn't care. My only job was to entertain and boy did I deliver.
Something terrible happened. The escape shuttle arrived. People ran to the shuttle, I followed them with my music as a morale booster. Everything was on fire.
I saxophoned through fire and flame but the the door was locked. No one noticed. I could not speak. My vow of silence was absolute. I tried gestures, nothing worked. So I used my saxophone one last time.
They left me behind. As the shuttle left, I was sucked out to space, forever playing Careless Whisper in the cold void.
10/10. Would Mime again.
Just your average day on tg station
👏amazing story
Incredible
*meanwhile in marine vs xenomorphs*
leon jonhson:just drag me and put me on that bed and take me to the hospital bed
Bob bobby:IdONt hAve Drag oPtIon
Pd:bob is me i remember trying use pull
F.
When i finally got to play captain i had to hunt a wizard by myself because no one joined Security.
It was a great battle, i tried shooting him, and when that didn't work i threw an elephant shit load of grenades into the emergency shuttle as he tore my crew to shreds.
In the end only he and i survived the grenade assault as everyone either got frozen to death or incinerated.
Then the round ended.
Clown : "He's turning her into a Papa John's !"
Sseth : "And when The Patient woke up, Her Limbs were all replaced by Pizza, and The Doctor was never heard from again !" [4:29]
"Anyways, zat's how I lost my medical license"
Meet Doctor Mengele
Nice video man, please release my children though.
They have a new father now.
They work the rice fields
Don't worry, you'll get them back...piece by piece
@@Omnifelix We need more rice to drive the western devil from our lands.
Quality comment.
First Time Playing: Played as a Virologist (sounded cool), kept smashing things together to make a drink or food do something, made a virus that would cause people to walk very slowly and fall asleep. Thought it was dumb and shot it through what I thought was the trash, but ended up being sent to somewhere in the Space Station, probably the mess hall. 10 minutes pass and I keep hearing over the chat what the hell is going on and why everyone is going so slow. Took me a little bit to connect the dots and locked myself in the lab for that extra bit of time. After they broke in, I made a run for it since I wasn't infected yet, but apparently the virus spread so bad that it only took like five steps until I was getting slowed down. I was beaten to death for incompetence.
In other words, 10/10.
“Beaten to death for incompetence”
-Average space station 13 session
JLD LdR can't believe it took a week before someone finally made this comment
Swivel Shivel either that or you go gigachad and kill about 6 people trying to come into the kitchen to lynch you because the AI falsely believed you were a changeling and told the crew to kill you.
"made a virus that would cause people to walk very slowly and fall asleep"
So you basically synthesized narcolepsy
One of the small pleasures I have in life is coming back to this specific Sseth video every now and again to read the new crop of SS13 stories people leave from time to time. I may never play this game myself due to the immense time sink it requires to “git gud,” but reading what other people get up to in it is highly entertaining!
After I got familiar with the game,I tried being a geneticist. Discovered how to make a head exploding serum. Immediately get the evacuation notification, and run to the shuttle. Not wanting my hard work to go to waste, I try to stick a random guy with it. He disarmed me, beat me, then injected me with it. It was fantastic.
Reminds me of a Tom Ska sketch:
"Its 'Juice that makes your head explode!'"
"Why didnt his head explode?"
"Must be reloading."
"Who?"
"The sniper."
*Head proceeds to explode *
*Video cuts to the sniper*
"Yeah, im jewish."
"Its 'Jews that make your head explode!'"
Mandalore is off his ♂ *M* *E* *D* *S* ♂ again. You already covered this, Mandy.
holy crap i genuinely thought he reposted a video :D
Ssethzeentach should have been captain marvel
2 mandalore videos in 1 week. Man, am i happy.
Neker's Shitposts 2 Mandy videos in a week. *THAT’S* ♂ *P* *O* *W* *E* *R* ♂ *SON*
I don't get it. mandalore and sseth is the same person?
So many "my first time" stories in the comments which contain some incredible feats people pulled. My first time, it took me 10 minutes to get out of a seat in a shuttle
You're not alone. That has always been our true first time.
My first time was spent asking for help on how to use the oxygen canisters and mask (dumb stuff) just to be attacked by a furry person, dragged into a service room, probably raped and murdered completely unnoticed by everyone in the station. 10/10
My first time I played geneticist, tried to get many mutations, gave up, bashed my skull in, and crawled my way to medbay. I spent the rest of the round randomly screaming due to brain damage.
I feel like everyone spent 10 minutes trying to get out of the chair and then crippling themselves with whatever heavy or pointy object they may have found.
@@Relhio That, my friend, is the TRUE SS13 EXPERIENCE.
It's crazy how after i saw this video a year ago and started playing SS13, i can understand everything that's going on on-screen. I remember not knowing 90% of the stuff going on and now i know the game's mechanics perfectly. There are games much simpler that i can't remember at all, and yet the most complex game I've ever played i remember the best. I love SS13.
I remember the first time I zeroed a wizard in SS13. I was a roboticist, working with my roboticist co-worker, when a wizard casted summon guns. The spell works like this: Everyone gets a random firearm spawned at their feet, and it could be anything from a toy nerf, to giant cannon. Mine? A Gyrojet pistol. I'd never used it before, much less most of the firearms in ss13. Thus, the intrusive thoughts won out when I looked at my coworker, and hit him with one shot, putting him into critical condition immediately. "...huh." I remember saying to myself, out of surprise. I double tapped the poor boy to end his suffering, but then I got back onto my work, minus my roboticist partner.
But only one or two minutes later, did the true villain of the round appear: The Wizard, sporting a staff of change, and a magic missile, which he used to down me, before he started spamming it on my body. At the time, I didn't know what he was doing, but in hindsight I understood he was trying to change me into a xenomorph, so I would start spreading a hive and causing a ton of intense chaos across the station. So I was changing from creature to creature, most of which couldn't pick up anything or interact in any meaningful way, until I ended up being turned into a monkey. His staff had to recharge, so he didn't have time to keep changing me. So, as a monkey, I took the few moments before I ate another stunning magic missile, and grabbed the gyrojet off of the floor, and blasted him with it. He went down INSTANTLY. I fired it over and over, until he flatlined. And the round instantly ended.
So I beat a wizard as a monkey, wielding a gyrojet pistol. It was truly a wild day for me.
>Can't handle any more players
>Gets 1M+ views
Well good luck with that.
Most of em didn't even play.
@@Malos_ Ok but one percent of one million is ten thousand and I sincerely doubt that less than one percent of the viewers are going to heed this man's advice. You know, that principle about most people assuming they're the special case and all of that. Even a fraction of these viewers, I have no doubt would have a catastrophic effect on their servers if what he says was true. I mean he probably just said that to deter newfags or something of that nature in all honesty. Won't know, apparent ally I'm one of the 99.97% of people who followed his advice.
Tyrell 39 yeah, they went from 300+ to 1000+ to 2000+. It's been fun. I was one of them. It forced me to learn quick or die quick. Welding tools are really useful for keeping people away from you, or locking an asshole in a locker.
@@henryettoit897 let me guess, you got banned.
@@TheRealJawnz care to back that up, big boi? Or are you just talking shit? Id assume the latter seeing as i can smell your breath from here.
The infinite Banana Peel Conveyor Belt trap had me in actual tears.
It was truly a masterpiece
I died after the clown spacelubing up the floor.
@@BotSlayman Sum bitch yes.
I once did this, but instead of a cargo trap I was the Warden in the brig. Also, I used shards of glass from the windows the greytide vandalized and removes the prisoner's shoes before throwing them inside, forcing them to step on the glass and fall every time for the entirety of their sentence.
I literally got a medal for how quiet the tide was after that.
@@BotSlayman that happens fairly often, though. The conveyer belt trap was quite novel!
I still come back to watch this video every now and then. One of the best videos on the tube for sure
I was playing SS14 (SS13 but the engine isn't as old) with my friend, I was a simple man who had the simple job of changing peoples cards to give them different permissions. My friend was a janitor. I was learning to do my job when my friend started screaming over discord and I heard gunshots in the hallway. My friend came into my secure little room and we chilled there watching security struggle to fight the traitors through some bullet proof glass. That was before somebody decided to blow open the door with a grenade and ran in with an SMG. He was beat to death by 2 suffocating idiots with no weaponry.
"When we're not having a nuclear arms race with security, its actually pretty chill"
Didn't expect to hear that sentence in my life
I played in R&D before, it's not so bad. I also played in Cargo once, I'll never fucking do it again.
R'n'D is a lot, but not chill, not if xenobiology gets their Hands one the Gold slime.
Meanwhile I'm in the testing lab making bombs that literally make half the station vanish at the press of a button
CARGONIA PRIDE STATION WIDE
Everyone's first experience sounds dynamic, meanwhile my first round involved 25 minutes trying to remove a straightjacket and then getting forcefed absinthe till I died.
That's quite dynamic friend.
I got RCD’d into a wall and suffocated to death
That's why you start off as a cargo tech instead of being an assistant on your first round. Nobody likes assistants.
@@TheEnderLeader1 probably didn't help I was on a station that had pretty lax rules so people mostly fucked with everything.
My first round was being a cargo tech, and the station had a Zeno infestation and within 10 minutes I was kiddnaped, impregnated by a facehugger and turned into space Zeno larva, where I become a sentinel and protected the eggs tell the rest of cargo got a bunch of flamers, and they burnt is out
Space Station 13 was so magical, while not a super magical story, when I was figuring out the controls I laughed 20 minutes at a blurb of text saying how i hit myself in the face with a mop 5 times. After that a vampire literally kidnapped me, got beaten up, then I was taken to the medical bay just in time to be healed, and then some fella blew up a third of the medical bay, killing almost the entire server.
Magical.
Man this reminds me of one of my first times playing i chose clown cause i knew that if i sucked it wouldn't mess with anyone else and so i flew in in my shuttle and before i could figure out how to unbuckle myself someone ran into the room and lit me on fire and due to me not knowing how to unbuckle my self i couldn't put the fire out and i died
The voice activated bomb part just killed me. This is what real roleplaying videogames look like. I'll sadly never be as autistic as to get into these kinds of shenanigans. Thanks for sharing.
What is your profile picture? It looks awesome.
Challenge accepted.
the banana peel is what killed me
totally, I always check which part of the videos are the "most replayed", and I had high hopes for this one. I was not disappointed at all. What a build up
I have the opposite issue I'm far too autistic and feel too awkward to even attempt talking when I join as I don't want to ruin the experience of those around me
Janitor: Okay. What is this.
*proceeds to mop the satanic scribbles*
That there's professionalism, son.
Uhhhh my arts and crafts project
that head of security submiting to cargonia was kinda touching actually
despite calling them retarted; he stated he only wanted you to give his men back and not do anything to the rest of the station
"-just get my men back and dont shit up the rest of the station"
he cares about his boi's
I don't understand any of the pixels on my screen but with you explaining it this seems like the most advanced game out there while looking like knockoff habbo hotel, wtf, this game seems awesome
that's it, that's the game.
When I first joined, they made me work as an engineer. I had no idea what I was doing so I grabbed the Geiger counter and proceeded into the chamber with the submatter crystal in it. I wanted to make it seem like I was doing something, so I touched the counter to the submatter crystal and radiation started to leak every where. I lost my hair in clumps, my skin changed color. As the room started to fill with radiation at a very fast pace, I ran away, dropping my helmet and counter as I walked the halls aimlessly. I finally stopped and a medic grabbed me quickly and rushed me to the med bay. He said "OH my gosh, your radiation is at 850%!" and then he tossed me into the chemical rinse shower. I looked up at at the doc and asked him "Give it to me straight, doc... Am I going to die?", he responded with "Not if my chemist is competent." - they wasn't. The chemist saw me, came back with something and shot me with it, then ran away screaming "Ohhhhhhhh jesssssuuuuusssss!" (by this time, I'm in tears laughing). The doctor forced me to strip as I spent another 15 min.s in the shower. The chemist put a drink next to me that was radiating green, I was suspicious but drank it anyways. The drink made me even more ill, I started shaking and I was cold, my world was darkening. The doctor started arguing with the chemist saying that he gave me the sickness the monkeys had and she said "The monkeys had it, I didn't know she would get it too." Anyways, they gave up on me for a bit and shoved my body into the hyperbaric chamber. Around 10 min.s later, a girl who stole my clothes, molested me, called me a chocolate slutty banana, and asked me to sit on her face as a dying request the round before, grabbed me from the chamber and murdered me in a dark part of the maintenance hall. Not even a minute later, the doctor put out a missing notice for me on the radio and my murderer responded to it by saying "Put out a search party for the missing cat girl". No one ever found my body, what a clean murder.
10/10 would play as a engineer again.
@Иван Распутин added to the fact that on most servers, touching the SM with any item instantly turns you to dust
Slutty chocolate banana, I'm using that.
my first time playing i was an assistant and was hungry, the chef was new as well and didn't really know how to cook food. I was starving to death and ended up eating like 20 raw eggs whole, i started choking to death and limped to the med bay before collapsing. I ended up dying because they tried to do a bunch of advanced stuff to help me not knowing i was stupid and just choking on eggs that i ate whole.
pls
This went sideways between the monkey disease and the slutty chocolate banana
"but we'd literally be here for hours"
I GOT THE TIME
boy do I got the channel for you
user/BlackPantsLegion
ah yes, space lube trail out to space is a classic. My other favorite thing to do was reroute the disposal bin pipes to lead directly into space instead of the maintenance area it normally goes to. Anyone using the garbage chutes to escape from shitcurity or baddies was in for a neat surprise!
However, only the most robust of spacemen were ever capable of the fantastic feat of flooding the entire station with nitrous oxide.
Shit, no wonder why the servers are flooded. This is a really good promotional video.
player numbers literally doubled overnight
There’s a lot of fucking baldies fucking each other in BD please help
@@okinawadreaming Since Kenshi is quite modifiable, how hard would it be for a team of programmers to apply the same mechanics? I hear the developer is making a new game as well.
Yea
Tripled, I can't play in my friend's server now.