Vampire the Masquerade Bloodlines Review | Final Nights Edition™
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- Опубликовано: 12 июн 2019
- Men turn to ashes.
But this game stays immortal.
You can grab a copy here: af.gog.com/game/vampire_the_m...
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Игры
You spoiled the entire game without spoiling anything. You are a Malkavian, truely. Very impressive.
I was expecting him to end the video with "I'm no longer here" or "My shadow darkens other domains".
I was gonna make a Malkavian hoke aswell.
He really is fucked.
@@nafereuskortex9055 malkavian hokes are TIGHT
@@vtancredi1717 good hokes, full of jumor.
"Cain dis-abel-d his brother"
This is pure gold.
I saw
@@bigbrojz66 and I came again
@@bigbrojz66 i hit him right there in the jaw?
i cain't believe you've made that pun
@@bigbrojz66 I kicked it's ass!
"Cain dis-abled his brother" will never cease to be funny.
*dis-abeled
It become my go to joke every time I see someone play this
Yeah
I just got it. a year later.
I'm also partial to "sometimes I like to turn into a burning bush, and scare the shit out of Moe-zees..."
I had an interesting first experience with the game to say the least.
>Talk to guy on couch bleeding to death, in extremely poor health
>Asks me to run an errand for him, and if possible look for something to ease his pain
>I do his bidding then as i'm about to return i decide to check the medical clinic on the way back for something that could help his pain
>Accidentally freak the receptionist out and guards open fire on me
>Hear sirens and a man yelling for me to come with my hands up and weapon dropped
>I run around the clinic levels like a madman looking for an alternative way out and something to use to ease that mans pain
>Find pill bottle
>Bingo
>After some fuckery and running around and killing a cop in the proccess looking for a way out
>I find a vent that leads to a door out
>Talk to the guy who was bleeding
>No dialogue option to give him the pills
>Read inventory description
>Mfw it says it's a fucking bottle of estrogen pills
You about to give him free hormone therapy.
warning: do not take if male
a warning that has endured through the ages
man really hit us with the reddit green text (why the fuck is there estrogen bottles in the game)
@@Adealerofblackberry 4 da lulz haw haw
> what
> an
>idiotic
> way
> to
> write
> comments
>and
>I
>don't
>give
> a
> shit
>about
>4chan
I liked my first playthrough as a Nosferatu just fine. I always try to roleplay as someone closely resembling myself, anyway
the exact reason why I picked Malkavian for the first time :)
sooo….do sewers really look like how it is portrayed in this game?
@@Mythrell I think I played a Toreador the first Time. Can't go wrong with an unnaturally beautiful Artist with Superspeed.
Ventrue first, fuck rats and homeless people.
I played Gangrel, it was okay. They didn't really get much special other than some extra scenes with the Beckett, which was nice.
Then I played Malkavian and I didn't want to play anything else.
"If you underestimate the pawn, you've already lost"
Damn, that's quotable
Thats some Sun Tzu shit right there.
@@thebadger4040 I was about to reply with that literally word for word.
@@jejisland Great minds think alike.
Sseth is a great philosopher
Tbf he probably stole it from the wire.
I was a Toredor, when I was staked at the beginning it was by a Nosferatu.
I never noticed that the intro changed the vampires who capture you depending on what clan you choose.
Jasper Heartwood: They asked for my help for the night-sorry.
@@JnEricsonx Ah, i miss Jasper... As with most things in the World of Darkness, it didn't really end well for him...
@@TheKueiJin Haven't finished LA By Night yet. Still got the last 2 seasons. :(
Not only that but if I recall you can also smoke them in the endgame
The other player models of the characters you didn't select appear throughout the game.
Remember:
The console command "money" is used to modify the breast size of various characters, it's default at 1 and a maximum at 3 (Limitless if you have the unofficial patch), but to us, refined gamers, i recommend setting the "money" value in the console command at 1.5
Very cool
Holy shit, I thought for sure you were bullshitting, but I looked it up and it's actually true.
Thank you man of culture.
Game just went from a solid 9 to a 10/10.
I saw a post where someone was trying to give themselves cash and used the money command. Setting money to 1000 is... uh... interesting.
I thought Caine’s punishment was driving a cab in LA traffic for eternity
Traffic must be light, only takes like 20 seconds to go from the pier to downtown.
White Wolf confirmed that was not Caine. Troika wanted him to be Caine, but White Wolf said no
@Bones Sama They are of what is Canon, NWodD while not everyone cup of tea had good things for it, i personally loved Changelling the Lost much better than Dreaming, and the attribute system dropping apparence and having stats in each category for bute methods, finesse and resistance is much better than classic
Olivia Williams I've read somewhere that White Wolf said no, so it's just an old and powerful Malkavian who thinks he is Caine
@@Uyuzefe Yeah pretty much what i was saying
My experience in the haunted house consisted purely of me making sobbing noises and saying "I am an immortal killing machine, the creature of the night, I shouldn't be subjected to this kind of mockery!", while the lamp was flung into my head.
I played this game when I was 11, Ive never watched a review of this game since I first played it. Its refreshing to hear that I wasn't the only one who got horrifically spooked by the haunted mansion
@@RobRIPDG The only thing that still gets me in that mansion after a couple times is the goddamn light outside, every single time I forget about it and my heart skips when I approach the door. Everything else was a little jump the first time and nothing after.
And not many of you know this, but there was a version of the game in which you have to get the keys to get into the apartment and when you got into the module outside the hotel to get them, the lift truck charges against it and smashes it.
I dunno why the retconned that later it was fucking awesome.
@@cruzwindu777deffsff4 it still does that... you have to go up to the doors first, and try to open them, then walk over to the shack to get the key. (trying the locked door is a game trigger)
I was sweating until I remembered I was a regenerating vampire and all the tension vanished. Then I got crushed by an elevator.
Fun fact: Adam and Eve, the parents of Caine and Abel, also had a third child...
who they named Seth.
They had a lot more than that. Unless you think Caine and Seth hooked up and produced all the other human beings that appear in the Bible. (For the record, I think it's all horseshit, but let's at least get the mythology right.)
@@VideoHostSite Further note, as Cain was getting exiled by God, he was afraid he'd get killed by the first person he came across. Which is why he got the Mark of Cain. But who were these other people Cain was afraid of if there were only 3 people in the whole world, 2 of which were his parents?
Genesis also mentions "daughters of men" who attracted the attention of "sons of God". This could be a reference to neanderthals and homo sapiens. So the creation of Adam and Eve could be interpreted as the birth point of modern humans, as they became more intelligent and separated themselves from the rest of the animal kingdom.
After all, "to God a day is like a thousand days, and a thousand days like a day", so we needn't constrain ourselves to a literal interpretation of the Universe being created in 144 Earth-hours. Surely God could have chosen any method to create humans, like a millions-of-years process of evolution from a single-celled organism.
Also, one last note: the original commenter only said the third child was Seth, not that there weren't any more after that. The Bible does go on to mention that Adam and Eve had more sons and daughters after that.
Coincidence? I THINK NOT.
As much as some parts of the bible are questionable, it's really nice to see it's takes on the birth of society and societal rules, and I personally think it's worth reading regardless of religious orientation, it does have some good advice on how to be a good person and how to treat your fellow man regardless of how they think also, very interesting piece of media
@@Hapetiitti In reality Cain and Abel were not the children of Adam and Eve, Adam in reality didn't have a name because Adam means man or male, in the bible it's use the term Adam to not get confused, so Cain and Abel are the children of man, not really the children of Adam and Eve, it is just written like that to have a sense of connection between the two stories
God's punishment to caine was to wander the lands endlessly. The superpowers + the ability to make new vampires he got from Lilith who was a mage. The vampire curses he got from several archangels.
Man never really got a break.
man its so unfair i wish i could become an immortal superhuman from killing my siblings
@@NeostormXLMAX have you tried though?
Huh. I'm not going to lie, I think the way Sseth put it is actually more interesting.
@@NeostormXLMAX ...Step 1: kill brother
hey just in time for Sseth's E3 Conference.
Wish Jim did coverage for this one also.
༼ ༎ຶ ෴ ༎ຶ༽ 𝑯𝑬𝒀 𝑯𝑬𝒀 𝑷𝑷𝑳 PSN: mattmortlock
༼ ༎ຶ ෴ ༎ຶ༽ 𝑯𝑬𝒀 𝑯𝑬𝒀 𝑷𝑷𝑳
PSN: mattmortlock 𝑯𝑬𝑹𝑬
Seriously though, my sub box is chock full of E3 garbage, and I couldn't care less about E3. I thought I was the only one.
@@Andri474 Honestly, E3 is the most awkward thing to watch ever. It's just a bunch of middle-aged men bumbling about on a stage making the audience uncomfortable.
"they've got real fears"
*Museum velociraptor*
My favorite part about that is how consistently it scares the shit out of people playing, and the lore reason for it being there is someone wanted to scare their coworkers
I hate the museum. It's probably one of the most boring locations in the game in my opinion. :/
Was the first time I almost got a heart attack in this game.
I cant understand how do ppl get scared by that raptor
Ikr
@@sickcxnt9444 For me it was scary because I try to not get seen, at all. So I saw a form out of the corner of my "eye", the video game camera and I was like
OH FUCK
Then I saw it was just a raptor and I was not amused
9:41 Dancing actually has a purpose within the game. If you dance long enough (3-5 minutes'ish so go get your coffee in the meantime), you will regain one point of humanity once per nightclub.
WHAT
Mmmmmmm… coffee…
@@kingleech16 I'm a sucker for good coffee, so bite me :D
that's the most World of Darkness thing I've ever heard
wtf
I like how Magilla Gorilla wasn't even something Sseth came up with for the scary sheriff , it's literally what Vampire Bender calls him.
EXCUSE ME?
*hearing John DiMaggio's voice on meeting Jack* "Eyyyy, what's good Bender?"
Yeah, Magilla Gorilla is one of the Laibon, the Vampires of Africa. His Clan irrc is Nagloper, and they're the African descendants of Clan Tzimisce.
@@nalrashido From what i remember, they are not descendants of the Tzimisce but they once ATE a Tzimisce Explorer and thus gained thair powers.
@@lukyatom2279So in the end they did what the first six Tremere did.
"Your sire gets decapitated by magilla gorilla."
Lost it.
Jack is a fucking treasure.
This game changed my view of Smiling Jack completely. Hated the lazy pirate vampire trope in the Brujah Clanbook, but he was just amazing in the PC-game, so I started loving him instead. :-D
well jacks great..
I think he's still alive..
also strauss is a sexy dad
uhh
I feel weird saying that..
Gorilla for sale!
Smiling Jack calls the Sheriff Magila Gorila in the game.
Deus Ex but with vampires
And slightly less aliens
@@Tolwrath and slightly less augmentations
i subbed to you, you are one of my favorite youtubers * i love creepy pastas
And even less Illumunati... in the Mortal Side of the world.
And with a hundred more developed dialogues, characters and quests.
7:40 me talking to women
You should stop talking to children, they're not "women"
yet
Oh look ! he is still alive
Hi will lmao
LOL
I'm sure sseth would help you on your next project, the collab would be legendary. I'll let the man speak for himself, however
Fun fact, the werewolf isn't dead. In WoD, Werewolves return to their natural form upon death so while KOed, that thing is still active.
And the werewolf that gets beheaded via grenade by Nines?
@@DarkAdonisVyers he’s probably a metis, which is a werewolf that’s natural form is their fighting form
Just what i was thinking
I guess this is where all the devtime for Draenor went, making werewolves not die. Would have taken the raid tier though.
I never looked into the werewolf lore of WoD. I was under the impression that they are basically violent hippy furries(?).
"the game isn't that long."
Ya'll are skipping the side-quests? It takes me 20 hours to reach LaCroix: I'm from the gaming era of "once you enter this new location you can never return and all the quests will be lost." Gotta do all the side-quests before even engaging the main.
2 year later edit: Some of you confused "takes me 20 hours to reach LaCroix" with "I finished the game in 20 Hours"..........do you people think LaCroix is the final boss? (I love the rest of you)
I mean some quests in the game do get locked if you don’t do them on time like Heather Poe (the dying girl in the hospital who you can turn into a ghoul) dies after doing the Elizabeth Dane quest if you dont help her.
my first play through i barely got into the side quests, it was real short
Lol yes! This is how I play every game and its caused me a lot of grief. Particularly with ghost of tsushima recently where i walked around like half of the first island with no bow
you do NOT skip side quests in this game. I NEED ALL THE XP TO SEDUCE JEANETTE, I NEED HAWT MALK BLOOD IN MY SYSTEM- wait...what do you mean only vampires with high humanity can feel sex...how does she feel i-WAIT IM A 3 OUT OF FIVE? THAT BITCH! FUCK THE SIDE QUESTS EVERYONE, NOTHING IS WORTH IT ANYMORE!
The people replying to this are clearly missing the very fine point of MUSTDOALLTHESTUFF with the added caveat of MUSTDOITNOW which you subtly alluded to.
I concur.
This is a long ass game, especially if you *walk* around the hubs. Like people do.
"... Vladimir Tepes was, in fact, a high level Tzimisce who turned romanians into dining chairs." I love this man
Turned Ottomen into ottomans
Vlad was Old Clan Tzimisce, he didn't really turn people into furniture.
he just impaled them.
What about u also go fuck urself... ?
@@chocoman45 He wasnt Old Clan, he was regular Tzimisce w/ Vicissitude and everything. Even came from a revenant family, Basarab.
Vlad, Vlad, Vlad the impaler
Vlad, Vlad, He could have been a sailor but he's
Vlad, Vlad, Vlad the impaler
Vlad, Vlad, He could have been a
Whaler could have been a Tailor,
He turned out to be Norman Mailer
Whoaaoo
He stepped back and he smoked a joint
Twenty thousand peasants had to get the point
Mommy was a hamster,
Daddy was a jailer
Real tough childhood for such a fucking failure
[chorus]
He's so glad he's Vlad
When he was a boy, they sent him to the Turks
But you know they didn't like him because all the Turks were jerks
When Vlad returned home his wrath for his ancient foe had spurned
But the ancient art of impalement was something that the boy had learned
Oh, how he learned
He learned, they burned and burned and burned
Rotisseries of corpses turned
He's so glad, oh he's so glad he's Vlad
saying the line "wherever we go it's the blood of cain which makes our fate" while zooming on the taxi driver's face was really brilliant
was about to type this out, like one of the top comments said, "You spoiled the entire game without spoiling anything."
@@mickeytheking1992 You're tarded, this is why sseth is there and you're not. 8th grade level reading comprehension w/ the brains to boot
I choose malkavian for my first playthrough and while it was still amazing I can agree with the advise not to start with them.
Not because you will have a bad time though, it's because it's such a good time all of the other clans will seem worse.
Yeah, after finishing through the game as a Malkavian I can't help but feel it's the "way the game was meant to be played" so to speak. I would not be at all surprised if canonically the player was Malkavian, there is more effort involved in them than any other clan.
yep had the same experience ... after i played malkavian in my first playthrough it was hard to get into the other clans ... so i just played it again as malkavian hahahahahahahahahahahahah
Expect Nosfetrau
Because they are pretty much Hard Mode
@@blablupp13 Same. Why would you want to play the game if you can't talk to the stop sign?
@@deaj8450 its suprising the malkavian run is as good as it is, cause if i recall from some interviews or whatever. the lead writer basically binge-wrote the all of the dialogue in one night.
This game has actually pretty good facial and bodily animation, doesn’t reach uncanny valley.
Calvin Clark it uses the source engine, same facial technology used in half life 2, holds up still well today imo
Ace Of Spades IKR? The game that cost literal millions yet no one wanted with a bloated system and development.
Better than bethesda
Calvin Clark, the result of switching engines/directors/ and lead coders halfway through “development.” There were a fuckton of other issues but let’s leave that for a later day.
@@calvinclark9478 Given that it was developed by the newbie B team, was pure development hell, and was rushed out by EA before completion... and was STILL better than Mass Effect 3. Yeah, I don't have a problem with Andromeda. It's like comparing Tommy Wiseau's 'The Room' to say... Jaws 3D or Prometheus.
*Suddenly struck with a flood of emotion and newfound empathy, Lacroix decides to spare your life*
good one
I have never played this game but I take it he is being mind controlled.
No, he's just doing politics. Sparing you is a calculated risk he has to take in order to avoid conflict with the Anarchs. And besides, like Sseth says in the video, he sends you on a suicide mission to get killed somewhere else and is baffled when you return alive
@@dintann7688 whooosh
@@simonrubinstein694 He realized he could gain free "good boy points" if he spared you and gave you a suicide mission, if you survived, then he was gonna have an errand boy, he had an win win scenario, if he didn't try to kill you he would have won
@@Shinigami13133 ratio
ah yes, jeanette, everyone's childhood crush. That ghosthouse was legit creepy
Childhood is having a crush on Jeanette. Adulthood is realising Therese is the superior waifu.
@@jor4114 agreed
@@jor4114 I always try to keep both of them alive because... Well, two is better than one, isn't?
@@th3braz1l1an In my case I successfully made them coexist but , she/they dissapear after the quest.
The email in her laptop say something about wanting to show her sister to see the sun which means both of them killed themselves?
@@zikriflanery7030 That email gets sent sometime before the diner shootout.
*[The only security guard you shouldn't kill]*
Killing Chunk should trigger a command to uninstall the game immediately.
I'm just gonna be honest here. These are the most well written and edited reviews on youtube. Every video is a goddamn masterpiece, and hopefully they never stop coming. *sheds single tear*
And if you're worried our shekels are going to a bad cause just remember Sseth spent literally $1000s on commission hentai.
ekmad I was pretty impressed what I saw that video
@@bensosnowski1128 Wait, he really gave a thousand dosh to commission hentai? I kinda need to see it to believe it
@@GrammarPaladin He did in the GodHand review. You can find all the links on the website with the commissioned artists like InCase and speedo.
@@XzMondayNightzX Holy shit he actually did it, what a fucking mad man
Say what you will about a Malk playthrough, that TV announcer has some killer jokes and he’s damned polite.
Also, Fat Larry is a gem the world couldn’t live without.
Actually many casual players might be lost in the malkavian world..Actually many casual people get lost in my confessions oops stories....
The News Anchor, along with several radio voices, is voiced by the lead designer, he also wrote most of the characters.
Agreed. I actually think every character is gold though. Top notch voice acting across the board.
we stan Fat Larry
@@lullylew9083 So many good voice actors! I just replayed the game, and John DiMaggio(BENDER) is in it, Grey DeLisle Jim Ward, Etc.
"Sometimes I like to turn into a burning bush and scare the shit out of Mozeez"
Still makes me lol over a year later
This statement still holds up to this day
When my girlfriend and I moved into our current house, this review released. We watched it maybe twenty times because I loved it and she is a Masquerade fan.
Never gets old. I'm here watching it again two years later.
How good are other games in the series?
@@spumy_plughole1191 Not very, but you might wanna try Vampire: Requiem, though be warned it's older than VtM:B... Or try Werewolf the Apocalypse.
Marry that woman, like NOW!
Every time you mention this game someone will reinstall it.
This game and Deus Ex.
both games are suprisingly similiar
@@arekkrol9758 There is nothing similar to those games either. Masterpieces in their own way. RPGs just took a different direction afterwards.
Bloodlines are just Deus Ex in quasi-open world with much more talking. The mission structure is actually similar. You going guns balzing, and die, or creep in the vents, and die, or get melee weapon and not die until later missions, when firears magically stats to be better than melee, but you already wasted points in it.
You forgot stalker.
Dangit. Now i've gotta reinstall deus ex.
Damn now I gotta reinstall since he mentioned it.
@Theant19 Because it starts repalcing every object with chairs/camels/Jaenette posters. UP 10.something and still happens.
@Theant19 ༼ ༎ຶ ෴ ༎ຶ༽ 𝑯𝑬𝒀 𝑯𝑬𝒀 𝑷𝑷𝑳 PSN: mattmortlock
This is why I don't uninstall
They say every time some one mentions vampire the masquerade, a 100 people reinstall It
Also, Deus Ex
so in a grand moment of "wow, aint that the wildest shit," the background image used at like 1:33 in the video is an archaeological site I used to work at. It's in Kauai, is an incredibly interesting place, and is well worth checking out.
makauwahi cave reserve, if anyone's interested. There's a stone pillar in there that ancient polynesians worshipped as a giant magic phallic fertility symbol, I figure that would interest the denizens of this channel.
4:00 As a Tremere player, I absolutely LOVE this summary of them.
Brujah - hobos
Gangrel - furries
Tremere - can blow people up
Seems correct
@@dexter2392
Toreador clan - We blow people too...in like in a sexual way that is~ (also we'll drink their blood sometimes, cause we're vampires duh..)
Toreador: sluts.
@@dexter2392?
God the haunted hotel in this game was so good. You start feelin' like a badass 'cause you are a vampire then boom. Fairly early in the game you find out there are scarier things than you in this dark underbelly of the world. Something you, a newly empowered super-thing, find yourself suddenly powerless to do anything directly about. So good.
From what I've learned about World of Darkness, that is very accurate.
I mean, the ocean house is pretty spooky the first few times, but it's also really really linear and scripted. Do it enough and it becomes less a terrifying moment and more a cheap haunted house ride. Plus, you're never in any serious danger, cept for the flying fucking lamps. Never knew porcelain could hurt 10 times more than a bullet
It should be mentioned that in the game's setting (World of Darkness) vampires are actually quite low on the food chain compared to other supernaturals. The game touches on werewolves, but there's shifters, demons, mages, and many many others. I think the game surprisingly walked that fine balance really well. Humans are literal cattle to you (usually) but other supernaturals will fuck you up.
@@joaogomes9405 No serious danger?, what about the electricity, steam and flying bolts in the generator room that can actually eat your healt?, or what about the elevator that is an insta-kill or the fire that can actually destroy you, let alone the portion in wich you have to cross the exploding corridor wich can actually kill you before you reach the end.
It is scripted because is a MINOR quest in the game, it leads nowhere except for the fact that gives you some lore about what is out there in the realms.
@@PointReflex I meant you're in no danger from the ghost. He doesn't do anything to you, he doesn't come after you, every time he shows up is scripted and he can never directly hurt you. That's why the Ocean House kinda lost its magic on me after a few playthroughs, because the atmosphere is spooky but the rest kinda isn't. Even the parts that damage you directly aren't that big a deal if you know what you're doing, even if they're pretty effective at leaving you on edge the first few times you go through it.
I discovered in my second playthrough you can jump over the part where the stairs break in the haunted house and the ghost girl doesn't despawn. My run ended there as it only made sense for the nosferatu I was playing to want to stick around with his first and only friend.
Best ending.
Wholesome. However, like Beckett says, life is a beautiful thing to indulge in... pity we're dead.
2:22 "begone, Toreador" nearly choked on my sandwich
:::meanwhile realizing both of those two characters showed up in VTM La BY Night.
this game came out back when vampires weren't yet completely romanticized and they actually put in effort to create a believable scenario
at first I was put off a little because I thought vampires in modern day with guns etc. doesn't encompass the theme very well but boy was I wrong
I mean come on the whole vampire society living in the shadows with their own laws is more compelling than anything I've seen in the past 1 1/2 decades
usually they just slap vampires on a title without a second thought to lure in edgy kids ;D
thats because this is all based on a pen&paper rpg
You might like the What We Do In The Shadows movie and the show.
This game is based on "the world of darkness" fantasy scenario.
Tru Blood did it right
MORBIUS
There's an unwritten rule now that if a RUclipsr mention's Bloodlines someone watching will reinstall it for the 10th time.
why is everybody saying this now? i wonder how it started
@@D00000T huh its actually true for both games
You know what I’m gonna ask
huh more like 1000th
true... :D
The best sounds in the game:
4. Hollywood's theme
3. Edward's theme
2. That little piece of music played with the shin gunto stealth attack
1. Velvet Velour's voice
1. Deb of Night
Velvet was soooo hot I hoped we could romance her or smth
Chinatown's theme is my favorite theme. And the Asp Hole has the best music
DAGAMAN u can, somewhat at least. If u manage to complete all her quests to her satisfaction, she rewards you with a little lab Dance and Dome good ol black screen moany sexy time.
wtf what about downtown?
Fun fact, clan tremere were originally WoD style Mages, iirc, they were jealous of vampires’ immunity to Paradox and the eyes of the Reality Cops, so they did a ritual that was meant to give them that power, but they just ended up turning themselves into vampires
Also, during the Dark Ages, their immortality potions stopped working, so one Mage Etrius or Goratrix decided that vampirism would cure them from not dying, unaware that becoming Vampires destroys their Avatars which is what allows them to use magic.
@@nalrashido
"This is technically known as a bit of an oops."
- The_Chieftain
@@broadbandislife Basically haha. Anyone can use Magic in the World of Darkness. But Mages can actively change reality around them.
Welp. You made us buy the game... Are you Happy Now Seth!?!
I am. It's a good game.
Fuckin fix it then
I'm fine with it. I mean Sseth is like my exact taste in games mixed in in my exact taste in shitposting merged into a person. After having half of my beloved games reviewed by him and loving the content, I can rest assured my money won't be wasted by buying games he reviewed but I haven't played. So I hope he's happy, coz he makes me happy.
Me too but I am having a hell of a time getting used to these controls/how the player moves and shit. It’s really making it difficult for me to get into the game on my laptop
opens the video with "tonight" instead of "today"
amazing how one simple word change improves the review so much
**DON'T OPEN IT**
- Ancient Jewish Proverb
More like: "It matters not if you beat the game, only that you've bought it"
- Ancient Jewish Proverb
@@luminous3558
Toddberg Howardstein
CLOSE YOUR EYES
Oy vey
Wow, I think i may have had a *Small Stroke* Considering i read that as "Ancient Jewish Porno".
I picked up this game in 2009 at a secondhand shop for 1 dollar. Best dollar I ever spent. Absolutely amazing immersive sim that deserves WAAAY more recognition. Its a real shame the sequel seems to forever be trapped in development hell.
At least the OG game is fixed up. The cast is great-Grey Griffin is awesome, Steve Blum is classic, and Phil Lamarr is cool.
Immersive sim?
FYI to those who rewatch these kinds of Sseth nostalgia trips and have reinstalled this game a dozen times over the years:
-The Bloodlines Unoffical Patch just got some new content like playing as a Human Hunter of Leopold, some new endings, brand new items etc.
Thus I think it is time to reinstall it again in 2024. Enjoy!
Oh
That kicks ass, thanks!
@@Serverlour
Man, I just replayed it like 2 weeks ago, you know how it goes. I got redirected back here, I must replay it again...
Man i fucking hate the ranged enemies cuz their accuracy is pin point and every time i hit them fire again, so the time i'm unloading a melee combo i've been shot 10 times by a fucking vampire with a shotgun
>nearly four minutes of just allowing the patrons to be appreciated
SSeth is too good for this world
bad thing no one pays attention to that bs
@@pauloricardo-wn6ps i do.
I'm still trippin over that God Hand Olivia r34 he bought us and the ENTIRE internet.
@Nome Sobrenome what family? Does he have some asian brides and Nigerian prince locked up in his basement?
@@patch-fm i am sure you do, you keep watching the video and reading all the names, sure
God: "For the unforgivable sin of murder, I punish you by making you murder more people"
Just like the pharoah...
yeah that's not what happened. God cursed him originally with loneliness and to wander the earth. then God sent 4 angels to offer redemption, each time Caine refused the angels gave him another curse (darkness, thirst, will never love) and the 4th angel offered a road to redemption (Golconda). Caine only learned his Disciplines when he drank Lilith's blood (Lilith, the first Awakened Mage and She who was like unto God for she was made of true earth like Adam and ate from the tree of life and knowledge) and Lilith taught him her magic.
I mean I'm sure nobody gives a shit, but God didn't curse Caine with superpowers for being a lying murderer.
@@ekekekekk Of course not, but for the purpose of condensing that lore into a small bit for laughs, Sseths version is fucking hilarious. Works far better.
Didn't you listen to the words of our lord and saviour Sseth? God doesn't give a fuck about murder, it was about lying to him.
@@ekekekekk Wow, you brought back some WoD nostalgia, I still have all the books and we are going to try the new game and story. Also, I think the angels came after he drank Lilith's blood and became Awakened, confused me as to what Caine and Lilith really were, she taught him the original 9 disciplines, in which is said that she learned these dark gifts from Lucifer. By the way its described Lilith was an archmage, and you could practically use each of the 9 Mage Spheres to create each of 9 vampiric disciplines. Her curse was she would never know or be loved. Her power the cloak of night. She saw Caine had the power to kill any being, (first murderer) and another power attributed to Cain, which is pointless to stat, but if you did such madness, anyone striking Caine would receive the same back sevenfold, basically you lose if he had stats. He also learned the Path of Blood which he broke Lilith's bond and left, but later was bond by the Crone, she taught him the staking heart trick, and he used it against her. The only other unusual power he had was the ability to shut down any discipline, marking his dominance over all kindred.
Tried the game
11:15 You lied to me Seth, my hoarding skills were too great for this game's inventory
I bought this game 5 minutes after seeing this video, then got Covid, and therefore enough time to spent 32 hours beating the game and all the side quests in 2 days. Thank you, Sseth.
"interacting with objects"
*shows player interacting with a female*
i saw what you did there
A true comedian
He treats objects like women
"They've got real fear" Dinosaur
"hopes" Blowjob
"and motivations" some guy trying to sell the Ocean house hotel
@@swolie Yeah that was epic.
Is that... A female girl? HHNNNGGGG
This is one of my favorite games. I remember playing this as a kid when I didn't even speak English. I had a dictionary on the right and would translate the words or would just click random stuff and see what happens. Had a blast :D Will probably play it again now that I understand English :D
how is it going?
How's it goin?
Pun pun?
That was gaming in Latinoamérica back in the 90's to the 2010.
Who the hell thinks this game is ok for kids?
Coming back to this video after having to watch the shitshow that was the Bloodlines 2 presentation
It’s joever
Same.
Oh no…what was wrong??
@@cam5816 -Linear quests
-No inventory
-No weapons
-No character sheet
-No skills
-No blood points
-4 dialogue options max
-4 clans at launch
-No Investigation
-None of the gothic atmosphere of the original
-Doesn't even have different models for different clans
And the list goes on
Correction: inventory isn't infinite. It has a limit of a certain number of items, I don't remember which, but I've cluttered my apartment in Downtown with a number of useless items, just because.
As a Romanian I'm so proud. 10/10 would get turned into a dining chair again.
That makes us two.
Get out of here. Tzemshi is big gay!
that makes us 3 but we still lack a table.
5th
@@petru9380 I can be the table
*Lacroix: "We will build a wall around Chinatown, and make the Kuei-jin pay for it!"*
best comment
Geovanni GTFO
Yeah but the Kuei jin are actually scum
@@meris8486 Are they, though? They aren't any better or worse than Kindred. Both are very racist towards the other, but in this setting it's justifiable - to quote Bertram Tung: "None of us are good guys here".
@@Tumeq The ones in LA? Yes.
Kuei-Jin as a whole? No.
"Eestrogen"
gettin wild with that pronunciation sseth
He's saying Oestrogen which is the proper British spelling and pronunciation though due to Americanisation people outside the medical field do pronounce it the American way, likely picked it up because he was working in the British pharmaceutical industry
Malkavians knowing more than you is exactly why you should play them first. I did, and I was constantly being bombarded with "Oh my god, that's what the fuck I was talking about!". It was the most amazing first playthrough of a game that I will never get back.
It's the best clan on any playthrough. A variety of possible playstyles paired with the best dialouge in a game already littered with fantastic dialouge.
“So Cain disABELd his brother”
this joke was amazing
Get out
Bible study with Sseth is my favourite time of the week
With a fucking rock.
He put him in Special-(d)E(a)d Class.
"You play it in first person while interacting with objects" *is speaking to a woman*
Sseth my man.
Based
“You’ll have to decide whether you’re a player or a pawn, and I should warn you, a pawn is usually sacrificed for a king.”
Damn... I guess an African warlord would know.
Seriously man did you write a book at some point or?
He's a published pharmacologist. Not nearly the same linguistic skillset, but he does know how to write.
@Abraham Johnathan not just self-proclaimed, the way way got he got doxed was some anons digging up a research paper he coauthored based on comments he made during a stream. He's the real deal.
@Abraham Johnathan He left the industry because he couldn't stand the greed and corruption of pharmaceutical companies, or so he says.
what happened to the video around 0:42 ?
I distinctly remember being able to see the painting of god.
@@pendragon5187 bruh
Too offensive, gotta save the bandwidth for ads to the closest drag queen story hour
No jumpscares at the Ocean House, lieeeees. That light bulb popping outside scares the eff out of me everytime.
Lets not forget if you go to the left or right till the dead end and turn around you see the ghost guy ready to hack you with a axe before he vanishes.
@@CaCSouthPark I think what he means is RRRAAGGGHHHH!!!
Well you were outside, no jump scares inside :D
I immediately thought of the "bring bring" ducky toy that rolls out of a room. Heart attack.
@@pinkyslippers Ha, I forgot about that, still that was kinda slow rather than abrupt and loud.
that killable werewolf at the observatory, cant imagine what the first guy to discover that went through
Probably the guy who made the unofficial patch. iirc it's disabled on the retail version.
The game files. That's what he went through.
@@WisteriaNerium The patch also makes the game playable as Tremere in the first place. Thaumaturgy 1 was bugged so it would never turn off. Saves you a lot of blood, but you get a Masquerade breach every time a mortal sees you, which is "all the time" because you are Tremere and can't hide.
@@Milkymalk Ah yes, but what's more badass than being a vampiric blood mage? TREMERE FOR UNLIFE!
No joke I found it on my first play through. Didn’t think I could actually crush the wolf in the dome, I was just trying to shut it to stop him from getting in
Playing the haunted mansion back in 2004 was one of the most magical gaming moments of my life. While I've certainly played many scary games since (most recently Visage) it was an altogether new experience for me at the time. Up to that point, I was playing games like Call of Duty or Zelda. Then suddenly I found out that games could SCARE me. That was truly revolutionary. Completely changed my perspective of the potential of games.
MASSIVE SPOILERS.
Original lore states that the cause of the madness network is the antedeluvian of the clan existing within the blood of his children.
The Nosferatu blood line does not descend from the Nosferatu antedeluvian. They descend from a fourth generation Nosferatu, known as Baba Yaga. The reason they have gone ahem underground is that they are hunted by the descendants of their antedeluvian. The Noctu, that seek out to kill every Nosferatu. Their father hopes that if he kills all of his offspring, Caine will forgive him and lift his curse. I.e. the horrific appearance.
Oh and if you think that Baba Yaga is a good ahem creature, you clearly have not been paying attention. She woke up at the end of the 80ties and single handedly took down the Soviet Union, which was ran by a council of Brujah. She erected a barrier known as the "shadow curtain" and cut off Eastern Europe with the rest of the supernatural world.
You should get your lore right my man. Absimiliard is the Nosferatu Antediluvian, childe of Zillah. He killed Zillah and was in turn cursed by Caine to be hideous. His descendants split to two factions, the one your are referring to are the Nictuku who are permanently blood bound to him and hunt the Nosferatu. IIRC it's not clear if Baba Yaga is a Nictuku.
@@audiblesharpness Since Baba Yaga got killed by a Nictu it is a safe bet she is not one.
Also your comment does in no way contradict what I said :)
Considering that Baba Yaga in real mythology (not WoD) is an analog of Charon among the ancient Greeks, there are quite interesting parallels here. Although I doubt that anyone other than Slavic cultural scientists knows such things, in the sense that it is most likely a coincidence.
@@user-fi9iz9sl6t what's the connection between baba yaga and charon?
@@michaeldavis8250 In Slavic mythology Yaga is a guide to the lands of the dead.
Surprisingly lackluster r34 content for such a fetishable title.
Sseth, you know what to do.
Ye ye ye
That Anarch girl. Umph.
@@madcat789 Her and Jeanette. Can't have enough Jeanette porn.
Dont mistake it. The god hand was a public service since there is so little of it. This shit has a lot.
Don't tell Shad
I deeply respect the fact that with the line "...the pawn is always sacrificed to protect the king" the video zooms on LaCroissant.
Just rewatched this review, and I realized the real concern for why Bloodlines 2 may be bad. Forget about the vampires forget about the lore forget about the magic powers. Bloodlines was so special because of the amazingly rich and often quite humorous characters and writing.
I mean look how buggy it was and the mediocre combat. But we didn't care. The haunted house scared us to death and we would spend way too much time dancing in the nightclubs, listening to the kickass soundtrack.
If it ever gets made, Bloodlines 2 is destined to be inferior to this. They sacked Mitsoda and they're shoehorning in a bunch of woke and sjw crap in the story.
@@DaLiJeIOvoImeZauzeto I'm just watching LA By Night. We've had Abrams, Nines, Therese, Strauss, etc, all show up.
First playthrouh Malkavien. Absolutely fantastic, I've never been so intuned with a character. I simultaneously knew things I shouldn't, didn't know things I should, and basically bumbled and wandered my way through the game only to end by winning via accidentally enacting someone else's plan I had previously prophecied and then forgot but the option was interesting at the time.
The only game that's better without prescription medication 10/10
Are you sure Tepes didn't just turn Ottomans into Ottomans?
He created many stools.
Vlad was a pretty cool guy he killed ottomans and hid like a neet in his castle.
As a Turk, I resent this joke...
For not being even funnier, 😂😂
Not just the Ottomen but the Ottowomen and the Ottochildren too.
@@vlodislaw7972 Shut up Anakin
The chat was the worst thing I've ever seen.
I love it.
RRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Bruh
RRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
RRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
RRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Jeanette (her version you see in the cover of the game) is probably the only character i would feel safe with in this world, despite her personality, i feel she is the least deceptive of all the characters you meet. She is dangerous and unhinged if angered, but you know what she likes and not likes, there is no in between. So the boundary is clear.
7:22 The ladies call me "Oh God!"
"I'm crazy but not stupid" i wanted my malkavian character to be smart and behold the game allow me to do it.
My favourite Bible Studies channel. Thanks Sseth for another great christian video
It is funny but is actually kinda of inaccurate
Wolverine approves this video
"Sometimes I like to turn into a burning bush and scare the shit out of Mosies"
Well actually, god did not give Caine the magic, Caine met Lillith, the first Woman. They fell in love and by drinking her blood he gained the magic aspects of Vampirism. 3 separate Angels, apostles of god, gave Caine 3 opportunities to atone for his original Sin of inventing murder and he denied every one of them. The first one cursed him with the need to consume blood, as he thirsted for it when killing his brother. The second cursed him with having to wander at night as a sign of shame. The last one finally cursed him with the inability to die of natural causes, he had to either return to god or die violently like his brother. Then he met Lillith in the desert.
@@theharbingerofconflation Congratulations, you really paid attention to the paintings!
Cains punishment by God is for Cain to have unruly children , despite all his powers Cain will never be able stop his children from fucking everything up, exactly like Cain did to Abel in the eyes of God.
"Now you will know how it feels like..."
Funny how the facial animations for a 2004 game is leagues better than the ones in starfield
not hard to top that off honestly
I hate how accurate that is.
VTMB curse: Every time someone mention it, someone else reinstall it.
That's not a curse though.
BR até aqui KKKKKK
@@ssstylish2681 br porra
Also known as the Deus Ex affliction
@@enzoaugusto1577
Caralho, BR aqui
"The blood of Cain"
>Focuses on the taxi driver
nice
Spoiler alert! ;)
@@Fish-ub3wn "RIBBIT, LET'S GO!"
@@Fish-ub3wn, depends if u believe this bs.
He can't be Cain
@@Cheshiremd He almost was Caine. Even the ingame soundfiles were named after him. Not to mention the taxi ride to Delacroix as a Malkavian. My girl shat her pants when she spoke to him. She realized who he was.
AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
1:25 According to the wiki, Cain can literally invent new Disciplines on the spot and cannot be fully defined within the constructs of the game rules.
15:57 I can’t breathe
A practical example of why this game is as loved as it is.
The first time I played it I spent a lot of time in the character creator, adding and subtracting skill points on the various skills because I couldn't decide on how I wanted to start my character build. After a while I noticed something odd, that I had an extra skill point to play with. After repeating my previous actions (which was literally just adding and subtracting skill points in the menu) for a while I was able to repeat the bug and gain another skill point. I then proceeded to exploit a couple more skill points thinking that if the developers didn't want me to cheat they shouldn't of made the game so easy to break. After officially starting the game, I walk up to the first character and John DiMaggio proceeds to berate me for being a precious little tryhard. One of my opinions to response is "I'm too weak to play the game as it was intended to be played." He gives me the option to reroll my character, which takes me back to the character creation menu or to say I'm using a mod, which I believe kicks off the intended line of conversation and the tutorial continues as normal. With the wind knocked out of my sails, I chose the former and remade my character properly with the knowledge that this game is something special, and I should experience it properly.
This story is pretty representative of Bloodlines as a whole. It may be buggy, but there is a level of polish and attention to detail that other games simply don't have, and it will keep you coming back because of it.
Nice blog post asshole
Congrats, by complaining about the developers, you've proven you haven't done any research.. The reason the game is so freaking buggy, is because the devs were forced to release early by the publisher, which in the end, resulted in the demise of the dev studio immediately after its release. The devs are not to blame for the bugs... in fact they're responsible for the unofficial patch, which even though they were no longer in any way officially connected to the game, they still spent tons of time in the years after, completely pro bono, helping to make.
You should be on your knees begging for their forgiveness
@@DEATHBYFLYINGCDS He clearly wasn't "complaining about the developers", if anything he was complimenting them for their attention to detail. He just stated that the game was buggy, which is an objective statement.
@Obadiah Guyman Well then, if you believe that... don't play a video game ever again, ungrateful bastard.
@Obadiah Guyman Scratch that, stay away from anything that uses imagination. You're one of those assholes who think artists should paint things for you in exchange for publicity.
Sseth's favorite clan is Malkavian.
As expected, Sseth has the best taste.
The most patrician of tastes
They have the sexiest female PC
I actually played Malk my first playthrough. Didn't catch that much of the foreshadowing my character was spouting, but I did piss off Velvet by calling her by her real name, and convinced my old friend that no, I'm not your missing friend, I am your pet turtle. Now go away.
Also, that story about the tuna trying to avenge his father will always stay with me.
I made the right choice.
I never played this game. I got excited when I heard about Malkavians until Sseth recommended I not play them.
@@mr.strugglesnuggle6668 Did you even look at the nosferatu???
To be fair, living forever would be the worst curse imaginable. The only mercy in this miserable life is that it ends.
i have watched this video several times over the years and just noticed that if you turn on captions you get jewels like [Fat Larry, overweight drug-dealing ladies man] or [The only security guard you should't kill] this video just like the game is a true masterpiece
This guy has the most effortless comedic timing I have ever seen.
In less than a minute, he has dissed Hot-Topic goth teens, read a Bible story and somehow made me hungry for Lamb Chops.
Only the best comedians can do that!
Tattle Boad tfw no intellectual rick and morty humor
Rumor has it, that everytime you mention this game online, someone re-installs it.
That's not a rumor, that's actually true.
I just reinstalled it for the second time this year.
Or installs it, especially when he consideredd it for a while
I just don't bother uninstalling it
I always leave it installed because it's one of the best
This video is so good that it not only got me to finally play this game after owning it for several years, but best it twice with the same choices and yet the second playthrough was even better than the first
I'm confused about why at 0:41 got censored, in the uncensored version it's simply Abel with his hands in the sky and a plate of lamb chops to god
Comrade Susan of the CCPTube doesn't like it.
can't wait for this video to be livestreamed by forsen then that livestream of this video to be reuploaded by that bloke
Lensy6 shits super fucking annoying
Dont forget "Asmongold reacts".
@@Sarum9nich I fucking can't stand those videos popping up in the recommended with that stupid look on his face.
reaction videos with no reactions in it
I'll pass
who is Assmongoloid smh
"Because, you goddamn zoomer..."
That is the most powerful insult I ever heard from Sseth...
stfu zoomer
666 likes 🐱
Who th f is zoomers?
@@Glonag Gen Z, late 90's-2015's
@@Fvillalba8 Tnx!
Perfect review. I've played through every clan, and agree that aside from the broken combat this game is great.
Love the GOG shout out, even though I still have the original disks I bought it there too! (pro tip: PC CD's are not immortal)
I just finished this game, twice in a row (Unofficial patch and unofficial patch plus runs), 19 years after I've completed it for the first time. This review is hilariously on point!
And I actually just survived the werewolf section just by staying quiet in a corner on top of the building for five minutes.
I abused the blood shield as a tremere, took me an intense amount of quicksaves
I didn't even try to cast spells, that thing was too fast for me to waste time thinking.
*laughs in slow motion*
@@jamesonescobar782 and they said being a toreador was just for looks
Mine bugged and the werewolf got stuck in the top of the tree. 10/10 would play again.
i love how god turns himself into a burning tree to scare the shit out of moses
Wtf, why is this censored?!? I can‘t see the lamb chops oO
I thought I was crazy when noone else said anything :(
3:19 Yo is that Jake the Dog? And by Jake the Dog I mean Marcus Phoenix. And by Marcus Phoenix I mean Bender. And by Bender I mean John Dimaggio?
Yup. Nice guy. Most of the cast you've heard in a LOT of stuff.