MSSP - Matt McCusker: The Relationship Wizard

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  • Опубликовано: 25 июн 2024
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    From Matt and Shane's secret podcast ep 39 52 53 103
    Support the boys: / mssecretpod
    #MSSP #MattAndShaneSecretPodcast #ShaneGillis #MattMcCusker
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Комментарии • 347

  • @PutonyourSundayBests
    @PutonyourSundayBests Год назад +1681

    Never has a man blurred the line between idiot and genius as consistently as Matt

    • @MangaCarta
      @MangaCarta Год назад +8

      Dont be cute hes basic as hell politically

    • @MangaCarta
      @MangaCarta Год назад

      Nevermind I missread your comment yeah hes an idiot and has his moments xD

    • @russwheeler3942
      @russwheeler3942 Год назад +126

      @@MangaCarta right, he's white and not gay, so he's basic

    • @MangaCarta
      @MangaCarta Год назад +1

      @@russwheeler3942 If you don't think hes basic you probably have sub 90 IQ. I am white Christian and want non-whites deported so you are way off base here - even Gillis has to awkwardly laugh when Mccuskar fails to dogwhistle because hes not really on our side.

    • @gopherboat1375
      @gopherboat1375 11 месяцев назад +17

      Theo von lol

  • @krazzledazzle304
    @krazzledazzle304 Год назад +547

    "She was hesitant, because I'm a lil tricky." god damn that got me good

  • @swpost3
    @swpost3 Год назад +431

    To the topic of women crying: I have a friend that was a repo man. I use to help him out. Witnessed him tell a woman “I’m not gonna be bullied by your tears.” Ruthless.

    • @_..-.._..-.._
      @_..-.._..-.._ Год назад +52

      Patrice was a repo man?!? 😂 it’s definitely a bullying tactic. No adult should cry unless dying or losing a loved one.

    • @styxrakash4639
      @styxrakash4639 Год назад +31

      So based

    • @GeoffreyBronson
      @GeoffreyBronson 10 месяцев назад +16

      That's sick. It's so awesome when you make them turn off the waterworks when they realise it's not manipulating you.

    • @CousinBowling
      @CousinBowling 8 месяцев назад

      ​@@_..-.._..-.._cant tell if this is sarcasm or not but basically yeah.

    • @micahvdw962
      @micahvdw962 5 месяцев назад +7

      My grandpa worked for cps and he'd bust out the "I used to take kids away from their families, you can't guilt trip me" on her

  • @ignorethismessage3424
    @ignorethismessage3424 9 месяцев назад +238

    matt’s insane amount of honesty gives me so much life

    • @iCookCrystalMeth
      @iCookCrystalMeth 5 месяцев назад

      s/o terry man

    • @Boofski
      @Boofski 5 месяцев назад +2

      It’s an epidemic, I’ve looked at the metadata, no I’m not projecting

    • @WizzlyBearW0rms
      @WizzlyBearW0rms 3 месяца назад

      He makes shit up all the time

  • @tonyreyes3780
    @tonyreyes3780 10 месяцев назад +570

    Matt is like if a pair of cargo shorts somehow became a person

    • @Dinckelburg
      @Dinckelburg 9 месяцев назад +24

      Matt is the cigarette stub stuck between the tread on your shoe as a human

    • @deenicole1034
      @deenicole1034 6 месяцев назад

      N BBB🎉 jn n.
      I don't r

    • @caseyschoenleber1760
      @caseyschoenleber1760 5 месяцев назад +21

      Zip off pants

    • @barebonesjones
      @barebonesjones 5 месяцев назад +5

      @@caseyschoenleber1760too fuckin real

    • @aidanmcomie9498
      @aidanmcomie9498 4 месяца назад +1

      Man that’s true man

  • @sergeantnuke
    @sergeantnuke Год назад +585

    I love that Shane's crying voice is just Cartman lmao

    • @XxLKTPQxX
      @XxLKTPQxX Год назад +14

      Man I was wondering why it was so familiar

    • @vandogg14
      @vandogg14 Месяц назад

      Same I rewatches south park last night and I finally figured it out lol

  • @joenichols3901
    @joenichols3901 Год назад +725

    Matt: "I thought making my girlfriend think I'd been cheating on her right before bed would be funny" lmao . Definitely stealing the vacation move.

  • @ZJQ23
    @ZJQ23 Год назад +392

    mckuskies went from j.o.'in to tporn out of spite for his ex wife to full nofap zen master. Hes full circle

  • @babloescobango5143
    @babloescobango5143 Год назад +308

    I'd love to hear Matt try to explain Warhammer 40k to Shane

    • @justinbailey2347
      @justinbailey2347 Год назад +35

      They talk about Total War: Warhammer in ep 304 but yeah, I’d love to hear their take on the Chaos Gods. Maybe Matt could throw in some Jungian Dawg Magick into his interpretation.

    • @benmarsden2581
      @benmarsden2581 Год назад +23

      Glad there's some 40k fans that are dawgs too

    • @craigkrawinkel3140
      @craigkrawinkel3140 11 месяцев назад +11

      ​@@benmarsden2581we're everywhere, brother

    • @GeoffreyBronson
      @GeoffreyBronson 10 месяцев назад +3

      @@benmarsden2581 Alpha legion spies are everywhere.

    • @T_D_B_
      @T_D_B_ 9 месяцев назад +2

      Fuck yeah shamman getting chaotic would be legendary

  • @ethaneverson304
    @ethaneverson304 Год назад +100

    Matt really is a space cadet

  • @visgraatje859
    @visgraatje859 Год назад +149

    Matt is a wizard alright. a grandwizard.

    • @LiteralApe
      @LiteralApe Год назад +1

      OT is full of shane concocting sentences to make matt look like a G dub

    • @davidpsdeals
      @davidpsdeals 7 месяцев назад

      Grand imperial wizard

  • @oakey03
    @oakey03 3 месяца назад +14

    "What did you guys go as last year?"
    "She was Cruella DeVille and I went as a dog."
    "...Your relationship is f*cked-up, man."

  • @michaelc8192
    @michaelc8192 Год назад +553

    peepop i am once again asking for history bed time stories

    • @Goofmaxxin
      @Goofmaxxin Год назад +4

      💯 ❤❤❤

    • @sleepysnoozin
      @sleepysnoozin Год назад +5

      Literally just commented asking for the same stuff, big dawgs think alike

    • @johnford9070
      @johnford9070 Год назад +3

      Come on peepoop for the dawgz

    • @bulrawg_bot
      @bulrawg_bot Год назад

      Agreed. Get on it bitch. The dawgz have spoken. Also anything with war. Thanks G

    • @HughTheDukeGlass
      @HughTheDukeGlass Год назад +3

      FOR THE DAWGZ

  • @nathanaelsmith1368
    @nathanaelsmith1368 10 месяцев назад +26

    “Any port in a storm” 16:13.
    That comment by Shane is wild 🤣🤣🤣

  • @jasondeliello2352
    @jasondeliello2352 Год назад +137

    Matt is like a real life version of Randall from clerks

    • @cloudbloom
      @cloudbloom Год назад +2

      Best analogy holy shit

    • @T_D_B_
      @T_D_B_ Год назад

      Good pull bro

    • @skyluke9476
      @skyluke9476 Год назад

      @@cloudbloom fucking. Fuck. Dude. Fuck. Wow. Best comment ever. So true

    • @herdrugby11
      @herdrugby11 Год назад +1

      Hahah Jesus christ this was the most accurate real person to movie character comparison ever

    • @BoyGeorgiaX
      @BoyGeorgiaX Год назад +1

      This is like bragging about outsmarting a housefly.

  • @mort3338
    @mort3338 3 месяца назад +15

    i love how mccuskers bandaid for everything is vacation and no fap

    • @nicandromartinezsotelo3300
      @nicandromartinezsotelo3300 15 дней назад

      Yeah but he a dumbass. Why France or Dubaï when you're few hours flight from Mexico City? Bitches LOOOOVE Mexico City. And cheaper than all that France and Arab bullshit. Tacos, Pozole and some mezcal artesanal can rekindle all relationships

  • @KinoTechUSA69
    @KinoTechUSA69 Год назад +57

    Matt is the fucking man

  • @esock2001
    @esock2001 Год назад +28

    BLESSED ARE THE DAWGZ

  • @connerhaas4703
    @connerhaas4703 Год назад +369

    My favorite new pod. Matt is way funnier then he’s given credit for.

    • @bradleythebuilder8743
      @bradleythebuilder8743 Год назад +23

      He’s the reason I listen to the pod

    • @bludragon47
      @bludragon47 Год назад +51

      Come for Shane stay for Matt. Recent new listener as well.

    • @austinmanuel500
      @austinmanuel500 Год назад +11

      Who doesn’t give him credit? True dawgs know that he carried the first like 40 eps and steps up whenever Shane is not on his A game

    • @oSiiKModding
      @oSiiKModding 8 месяцев назад +2

      True I must say his stand up game needs some work, but I have no doubt he’s got the resources to excel

    • @Prnto44
      @Prnto44 6 месяцев назад

      @@bludragon47couldnt have said it better.

  • @andresoyervides5324
    @andresoyervides5324 Год назад +150

    Hard break check is the best when you’re getting the silent treatment. They either react and break the treatment or swallow it.

    • @_..-.._..-.._
      @_..-.._..-.._ Год назад +6

      Swallow their teeth? 😂

    • @bardsamok9221
      @bardsamok9221 10 месяцев назад +8

      Or maintain silence, get out the car, hitchhike home and put your dog to sleep.

    • @andresoyervides5324
      @andresoyervides5324 10 месяцев назад +2

      @@bardsamok9221 *put her dog to sleep before she gets home *

  • @townesprescot5441
    @townesprescot5441 Год назад +36

    the shaman is all knowing

  • @sapermader2198
    @sapermader2198 Год назад +19

    That vacation move is fucking genius

    • @bigbrossi2434
      @bigbrossi2434 4 месяца назад +1

      i heard Paris is nice 😂😂

  • @robert9016
    @robert9016 Год назад +82

    13:35 is an all time Matt line for me

    • @T_D_B_
      @T_D_B_ Год назад +4

      Life is hard for a loser

    • @Henry-kv7zl
      @Henry-kv7zl Год назад +11

      @@T_D_B_ life is always hard bucko

    • @iCookCrystalMeth
      @iCookCrystalMeth 4 месяца назад

      @@T_D_B_can confirm

  • @daleboyers7486
    @daleboyers7486 3 месяца назад +5

    I want a parking cone like spud😂😂😂spuds sat at home listening to this so proud of himself

  • @jamaljohnson1948
    @jamaljohnson1948 16 дней назад +2

    Shane travels all over doing shows and filming tv shows and somehow Matt has better stories every week by just chilling at home

  • @JR-zi9vj
    @JR-zi9vj 11 месяцев назад +18

    Matt is the beachboy equivalent of theovon

  • @tommybellardine
    @tommybellardine 11 месяцев назад +26

    Matt enjoying Minions is a hilarious non-bit

  • @BigFarts0
    @BigFarts0 Год назад +91

    Oh wow I haven’t came this fast before I swear, you’re the first to make me do this

  • @B3FMandCProductions
    @B3FMandCProductions 7 месяцев назад +9

    "The Girl Who Dwelt Below" 😂😂😂

  • @alexcoyg3281
    @alexcoyg3281 Год назад +19

    Passive agressive, they know what they are doing, trust me, you have to max the reaction, Matt's response is perfect

  • @DatBoi-mo9vc
    @DatBoi-mo9vc Год назад +20

    I like how his minion voice was completely wrong, he thinks they talk like pokemon do

  • @OvrZealous247
    @OvrZealous247 Год назад +36

    The D.E.N.N.I.S system 101

    • @T_D_B_
      @T_D_B_ Год назад +5

      It does seem like a variant of that system

    • @typingwhilepoopingLOL
      @typingwhilepoopingLOL 4 месяца назад +7

      M.A.T.T.
      Mingle
      Advance
      Turned away
      Tporn

  • @fadew55
    @fadew55 4 месяца назад +3

    I love how shane wants so badly to make fun of matt for the minions but just cant. 25:19 . That "oh man" was deep and he was powerless

  • @bracksampson1
    @bracksampson1 Год назад +87

    Matt's wife is a goddess. Matt is hilarious. Hell yea dude

    • @DweeD1516
      @DweeD1516 Год назад +18

      You know the woman in the picture isn't his wife right?

    • @MrSh4des
      @MrSh4des Год назад

      His wife is blacker than black ya

    • @stoybtorn
      @stoybtorn Год назад +91

      @@DweeD1516 prove it in court

    • @DweeD1516
      @DweeD1516 Год назад

      @@stoybtorn I could...easily. That's Ariana Grande for one and his wife is black. That is not his wife that is a Disney star turned shitty pop singer who looks busted without makeup.

    • @sanchezmcdirty1
      @sanchezmcdirty1 10 месяцев назад

      really? she sounds like a c*nt

  • @camwelch9948
    @camwelch9948 Год назад +23

    I died at the minion shit holy fuck

  • @FirstLast-gk6lg
    @FirstLast-gk6lg 8 месяцев назад +8

    God damn those dudes who can't have a good time because they are so obsessed with trying to get laid are the WORST

  • @jordancave3089
    @jordancave3089 Год назад +23

    Pongo was the name of my first dog lol he was a Rottweiler…and when I got older I asked my mom why that was his name because I was super young when we got him…so i didn’t remember. She said it’s the only name I’d let him have cause I was apparently obsessed with 101 Dalmatians😂😂 I’m a bit younger than Shane, but it’s funny hearing him talk about wanting to name his dog Pongo too lol

    • @OhHeBustin
      @OhHeBustin Год назад +1

      Cute

    • @bruhdon4748
      @bruhdon4748 Год назад +1

      Pongo is such a great name for a dog tbh & I too loved 101 Dalmatian’s as a kid and I’m significantly younger than shane, I think it’s just an autism thing to love 101 Dalmatian’s, my brother worked in caring for severely autistic adults & one of them would literally watch 101 Dalmatian’s on repeat all day every day & it was the only thing he did.

  • @mikedaines47
    @mikedaines47 Год назад +7

    Thank you for the nuggets peepop.

  • @davidx.4323
    @davidx.4323 Год назад +11

    I think I just discovered the realest, most relatable content on RUclips!

  • @deanweber9336
    @deanweber9336 Год назад +28

    Listening to this makes me feel less stressed about my own relationship lol!

  • @whiskeybandit-gz5um
    @whiskeybandit-gz5um 5 месяцев назад +3

    Matt-"oh i would take whatever came to me"😂

  • @T_D_B_
    @T_D_B_ Год назад +18

    Matt's girl was turning tricks with all that cash on the floor

  • @noahharju
    @noahharju Год назад +11

    These thumbnails are pure gold

  • @michaelswanton3336
    @michaelswanton3336 6 месяцев назад +3

    That vacation line is god tier

  • @NoNameNo.5
    @NoNameNo.5 Год назад +8

    Yoooo, that vacation shit worked….

  • @cartercartercartercar
    @cartercartercartercar Год назад +11

    i’m looking for the clip where matt says he’s “baby crazy.” one of the funniest things i’ve ever heard a man say on a podcast

  • @eternalific3242
    @eternalific3242 Год назад +6

    MATTS ONTO SOMETHING HERE BOYS

  • @MiracleChips
    @MiracleChips 4 месяца назад +3

    I used to think I was like Shane, but I’m slowly realizing I’m Matt.

  • @watcherofthewest8597
    @watcherofthewest8597 Год назад +50

    I found out today Mccusker write a book, that apparently, is extremely well liked by everyone who read it. I can't really explain my different levels of joy knowing that this exists.

    • @1990Co
      @1990Co Год назад +2

      Dude, read it, its great. For sure buy it.

    • @CasualChriso
      @CasualChriso Год назад +5

      What’s it called ?

    • @watcherofthewest8597
      @watcherofthewest8597 Год назад +1

      @@CasualChriso II forgot. It's on Goodreads. Not many reviews. I've heard it's really good

    • @1990Co
      @1990Co Год назад +2

      @@CasualChriso overlook

    • @GOSTDatingandLifestyle
      @GOSTDatingandLifestyle Год назад +2

      Awesome mate, cheers, just bought on Amazon, it's £9

  • @HeartLancer
    @HeartLancer Месяц назад +1

    Matt thought 2 planes did Pearl Harbor but his intellect still blows brendan schaub out the water

  • @Kampfwageneer
    @Kampfwageneer Год назад +12

    Strike out blues is real i used to get it early twenties savage with the self bro

  • @acidrat420
    @acidrat420 6 месяцев назад +2

    4:50 that "wow" lmao

  • @glocky_lo6351
    @glocky_lo6351 8 месяцев назад +1

    Dude this is the best

  • @jeffreyleblanc5676
    @jeffreyleblanc5676 Год назад +4

    The passion of the cusk. Let's roll

  • @RatsnRods
    @RatsnRods Год назад +6

    Mccumster looks so handsome in the thumby

  • @psyifinotic
    @psyifinotic Год назад +5

    matt drops a kung flu at 20:23

  • @mattthornhill554
    @mattthornhill554 4 месяца назад +1

    The best reverse to pull on the silent treatment is just to sit, let them be quiet and do literally anything else, let them stew and once they ask why you aren’t concerned about why they haven’t said anything just hit them with “well I thought something was bothering you but I know if it’s something serious enough you’d discuss with me, we both know how to communicate and how to address problems maturely without making it a blown up thing so I know we can handle it”

    • @AlbanianThrash
      @AlbanianThrash 3 месяца назад

      "oh did you stop talking? i didn't notice"

  • @nope5481
    @nope5481 4 месяца назад +2

    Wait... is the car ride is a universal thing? Our argument carried over to dinner a couple weeks ago and I hit her with "Why am I in a relationship that has a 10 mile, surface street boundary" she didnt like that. She hung her head

  • @Propaproduct
    @Propaproduct Год назад +2

    the McCusker Hair is Waaavvvy aha

  • @covrtdesign5279
    @covrtdesign5279 10 месяцев назад +4

    This is exactly why I have been single for so long. I don't deal with people BS anymore.

    • @sean8363
      @sean8363 10 месяцев назад +4

      Mmmmmmhm sure

  • @GlassHalfFull10
    @GlassHalfFull10 Год назад +2

    That Owen Wilson movie was bad ass

  • @sappypapi
    @sappypapi Год назад +4

    like leaving cheese for a mouse

  • @meloupnext
    @meloupnext Год назад

    top tier post good look man 🔥

  • @laurencezemlick1979
    @laurencezemlick1979 3 дня назад

    30:30 Matt 😂 I’d be broke and constantly sunburnt

  • @makoto3212
    @makoto3212 4 месяца назад

    28:00 shane was like "HUH" hahaahaha

  • @metalblog1065
    @metalblog1065 11 месяцев назад

    I haven't even listened to this but this is the best photoshop I've ever seen

  • @AnalogLanguage
    @AnalogLanguage Год назад +3

    Love guru? Nah Love Shaman!

  • @HighriseSuicides
    @HighriseSuicides Год назад +4

    needed this today since I was starved of a PAYTCH episode today

    • @bigben42
      @bigben42 Год назад

      Is there no paytch coming?

    • @HighriseSuicides
      @HighriseSuicides Год назад

      @@bigben42 idk but one hasn't been uploaded yet and it normally would've been by now

    • @bigben42
      @bigben42 Год назад

      @@HighriseSuicides it’s out now

    • @HighriseSuicides
      @HighriseSuicides Год назад

      @@bigben42 ty for that info legend

  • @cassidyerickson7408
    @cassidyerickson7408 9 месяцев назад +3

    Matt mccusker fuckin rules

  • @EVAASIVEOne
    @EVAASIVEOne Год назад

    19:35 ball touch reflexes

  • @lategod
    @lategod Год назад

    i say the same shit lmao “next time u drive then” lolol

  • @carlmay9532
    @carlmay9532 5 месяцев назад

    22:25-23:10 is the hardest I’ve laughed in years.

  • @SuperRespect88
    @SuperRespect88 27 дней назад

    seems matt took a dab like a cart😂

  • @blickluke
    @blickluke 8 месяцев назад +1

    Dr. Matt MCCusker saved my marriage!!!

  • @bbrucet3
    @bbrucet3 7 месяцев назад

    I'm listening to this in my civic type R but I get it. They make it feel like a LX.

  • @madhousemilitia82
    @madhousemilitia82 Год назад

    Reggie Brooks reference. 😢😢😢😍😍😍

  • @ShrimpPimpins
    @ShrimpPimpins Год назад +6

    19:30 something, same shit for me, afraid of rocking my girl on accident, the ultra instinct is a real fear

  • @lilbabybeard
    @lilbabybeard 9 месяцев назад +1

    holy shit matt is me hahahaha

  • @tylerwalsh7587
    @tylerwalsh7587 9 месяцев назад +2

    “Warter.”

  • @AllAboutMMA
    @AllAboutMMA 3 месяца назад

    Grabbed nuts randomly got me cracked up😂😂

  • @kingmoz
    @kingmoz 9 месяцев назад

    15:24 kills me

  • @robluxipiech4033
    @robluxipiech4033 Год назад +7

    I came fast thanks bros

  • @michaelmerrill5187
    @michaelmerrill5187 11 месяцев назад

    I named my Dutch shepherd Reggie after Reggie bush. Thought I was the first to come up with that.

  • @jameslucena1020
    @jameslucena1020 Год назад +2

    Based Matt accidentally steals your bbg

  • @qwerty6574
    @qwerty6574 Год назад

    "but I got NO money"

  • @ElGordo2497
    @ElGordo2497 Год назад

    That was really meeeean 😭😭😭

  • @gregbabcock9900
    @gregbabcock9900 Год назад +12

    Pro tip to breaking the silent treatment on a road trip when you're driving:
    Play the same song off your phone on repeat.
    I reconmend Santa Esmeralda's version of "Don't let me be Misunderstood"
    Its a 17 minutes version of a timeless classic, plus its God Damn good every bit of that 17 minutes is different from every but of that 17 mins
    Dont be pussy and give it a listen right now.

    • @josephvaldez7055
      @josephvaldez7055 5 месяцев назад

      I just gave it a listen. You’re right it’s pretty damn good

  • @neilbowman573
    @neilbowman573 Год назад +19

    Wait awhile. You get to a point in the relationship where the silent treatment is the best.

    • @T_D_B_
      @T_D_B_ Год назад

      It's a gift

    • @ghagzor
      @ghagzor Год назад +6

      Why would you stay with someone you don't like?

    • @neilbowman573
      @neilbowman573 Год назад +23

      @@ghagzor Because I'm not a millennial and I have kids. My grandparents on both sides stayed together. My parents stayed together. My friends parents stayed together. "Someone I don't like"? You'll never find someone you like all the time...if you do that's great for you...but in the real world most of us find people we like most of the time and that's good enough because we're not fragile little pussies that require validation.

    • @zb3645
      @zb3645 Год назад +1

      @@neilbowman573 fuck yeah

    • @Lorenzo_I.
      @Lorenzo_I. Год назад

      @@neilbowman573 sounds like you're a little pussy to me

  • @dirtfalconi4779
    @dirtfalconi4779 5 месяцев назад

    so relatable haha

  • @charlesalexander1711
    @charlesalexander1711 Год назад

    Title shoulda been Love Cast with Dr Matt

  • @Truffle_Pup
    @Truffle_Pup 7 месяцев назад +2

    "Let's go towards to rocks!" "No, we'll fucking die!"
    Women. Hah.

  • @jrod1845
    @jrod1845 5 месяцев назад

    Lmao i thought that was a fucking paul walker for a second 😂😂😂

  • @michelebergman4336
    @michelebergman4336 4 месяца назад

    Shane needs to protect u

  • @ZakarRuss
    @ZakarRuss 2 месяца назад

    Too late brother 😂😂

  • @Flameb0
    @Flameb0 5 месяцев назад

    matt is the funniest man on earth

  • @BoyGeorgiaX
    @BoyGeorgiaX Год назад +1

    I’m surprised Shane doesn’t like Minions because of the Minion’s tenure in the 40’s

  • @wetemupcyguy5933
    @wetemupcyguy5933 16 дней назад

    Matt the goat

  • @darian.the.barbarian
    @darian.the.barbarian 4 месяца назад

    About the money on the floor thing... I once had this weird friend that would believe in all this odd, witchy, new age manifestation shit and he would throw money all over the floor. I tried to pick it up and he yelled at me that it was supposed to bring more money your way or some shit. So maybe it was that? Idfk 😂

  • @04dram04
    @04dram04 11 месяцев назад

    That's a super expensive way to get out of an argument

    • @84kjk
      @84kjk 10 месяцев назад

      The key is to never follow through with it.

    • @04dram04
      @04dram04 10 месяцев назад +1

      @84kjk yea the consequences of that are not worth it

  • @joebuckhoff
    @joebuckhoff 9 месяцев назад +1

    32:28 💀