MSSP - Matt measures his Teenis
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- Опубликовано: 8 фев 2025
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From Matt and Shane's secret podcast ep 19
![I.N "HALLUCINATION" | [Stray Kids : SKZ-PLAYER]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/n5B5q1Hwt_U/mqdefault.jpg)
“enough dong talk” followed by 20 minutes of more dong talk-classic
We all came from the dong, and now we all come from our own dongs. #dongs
😊Xzibit 10l
Are you surprised or circumcised?
Yeah, can't believe someone would edit a video, how crazy.
@@user-kq6ju6hc1w"enough dong talk" followed by 20 years of more dong talk*
I used to stress a lot about my teenis in secondary school, but now I’m an adult in my twenties and I’m even more stressed about my teenis :)
Lol
I got 7"+ Broski if that helps
@@ghagzor my god bro all your comments are you bragging on your little wang 🤭
That's the spirit
Theres always smaller bud
“You date nice wholesome women, I’m out with the lepers”
I feel you, Matt
One of the greatest similies of all time. "You never know she might take out her pokedex and you find out shes had a couple Charizards."
That's a metaphor, idiot
das a metaphor not a simile dog
@@dildswagginz3408thank you lmao
@dildswagginz3408 lol, nerd
How is that a simile lol
10:17 absolutely killed me when Matt said that ex gf shit like it wasn't heinous that she was doing that lol.
What the fuck has matt been through in his life lol
the Irish Catholic experience
vicious ex gfs filled with rage and jealousy
Women
He dates black women 💀 very different set of cringe stories come along with that. Trust me
@@AkaFigga like smell you cant shower off. No joke
Learning to love your teenis is the straight white guy version of body positivity
It would be easier without the giant pink scar ring in the canopy
@@BTKYG you didn't care about that for your entire life until you found it convenient 😂
@@perfectstranger1152 Jew lover
@@BTKYGno one wants a hood bro
@@desertoutlaw3317I would prefer to have not had my forskin stolen by the jews
This is a PERFECT example of Matt’s willing to just burn the fucking ships. There was no going back to a normal life after this.
I love Matt and the fact that every one of his theories can be shut down immediately with basic logic that even a 12 year old would come out with
Imagine being old enough to type comments, but not smart enough to understand comedy....
@@VAMPZDJsurely you can't be serious
Only thing out here is hawgs, dawgs, facts and logic.
And penises.
@@TobyLerone76 you're saying "every theory" he comes up with is like that. Are you hanging out with 12 year old philosophers?
At least you don't know anything about 12 year olds, so you aren't a p3d0.
@@VAMPZDJAspergers Andy over here
There needs to be a Gilly and Keeve's skit where Shane employs his Japanese accent. It's pure gold and makes me lol every time.
I totally Agrizzly
same. i love that shane does a well mannered japanese business man for his standard asian accent while 99% of people default to a chinese restaurant owner.
Mongorian
@@LordConstrobuz to be fair I don't think chinee does anything else
@@LordConstrobuz if he hit his head and all of a sudden had that accent
"Very smorr penur."
this comment has “translate to english” option😂
@@benlevy3027 😂😂
@@benlevy3027 and the text is identical after you hit translate so you know it’s accurate.
U can hear him grinning uncontrollably when he reveals it's 7
Matt is consistent af
In the running for Dave’s title of ‘The Most Consistent Motherfucker You Know.’
He is our Guiding Light in a world of Dawgz otherwise wandering in the night.
@@paulfroelich1024yes!
He’s mostly consistent. Apparently, certain parts of him are going through a renaissance.
Matt thinking ASEAN was because the study was spelling Asian wrong
Oh my sides 😄😂
I was looking for this comment ahahahahaa
Matt is out of his damn mind lmao
“One of our quadruple digit listeners” Hilarious
😭😭😭 has 250k views
Yeah, I have a four-digit IQ, and listen to a podcast where men talking about measuring their hogs--how did you know two of those numbers were behind a decimal point?
@@oakey03 Ha
The best thumbnails in the biz right here, folks!
Man Matt is funny as fuck. Best combo in podcasting today!
“I’ve got a lot of dog dick inside me”- Matt💀😭
Shane was uptight in the earlier pods and really busted the shaman's balls. Let the man live! Also Matt is probably one of the best podcast guy out there
He’s definitely not the best, but he’s not so bad.
Has major potential to be the Opie of MSSP but he’s able to laugh at himself so I don’t think it’ll ever become that.
@@geofox9484 Calling him Opie is wildly offensive. Matt is hilarious
@@geofox9484 there's no way that Matt is as much of an asshole as Opie.
@@mattwilson7443 calling another man an Opie is a PA hands down.
Have you ever heard the term "straight man" that's what Shane is sorta
I'm a Tokyo partner and 5.5 , I'm pretty much an emperor every time i go back
I got a bit on you, but 5.5 aint bad given you got some girth.
@@CCitisyou got a bit on him in length but he’s got a ton on you in girth
"I bet you're leading these conversations" haha
3:12 what a quote from Matt
All timer
Any talk of the dog dick has me dying because we all know what he’s talking about but no one ever mentions it.
Bro I always pull my shit back im fat right now too so i got like 2.5 inches hiding
Matt is the funniest man alive 😂😂
He really is.
Saw his stand up a couple months ago in Raleigh and he was so damn funny
Likr watching live alchemy and potion brewing
Pop you slaughtered the thumbnail. To the dawgz
Love the longer clips. You’re a demigod
Love the longer dicks too.
There’s a channel that does hour-long clips every week.
@@seanmatthewking is it MSSP?
Redpower god
Matt’s Asian accent makes me laugh everytime
He has a sewious gaaarruten awergy
Submaru
the impact of seeing south park before meeting a chinese guy
Japanese anime
@@crud420 it's some kind of Korean Japanese hybrid from working for a korean
This is a beautiful and complex world, the entire span of the globe and its layers can truely be broken down to 'hogs' and 'piglets'. Gorgeous isn't it? Thats what comedy is; peeling away the layers of anything and I've reached the core my brothers.
You're not going to reach the "core" of anything else, fucking piglet
😂😂😂 Hes def leading the convos
"good God man..what do you mean what?" 😂😂
your channel rocks, got me into mssp, thanks dude
Yeah ironically I'm Patreon now because of this and have bought tickets to both of the Dawgz shows. Would do so for Tommy Pope if he makes it to Austin.
Same bro thank you channel owner
If you're gonna be a soldier in my army you need a better tool son
The fact he came up with that line that fast is impressive.
#1 podcast on the world wide web for Talkin' Teenis & Sippin' Cidies, always has been always will be; featuring The Gillie Monster & Big Chief Edibles McCusker... fax!!!
Nah Matt’s girlfriend story about his gf talking about another guys dong gave me PTSD flashbacks 💀 my school was filled with the same devious hoes
Domestic violence
Emotional Damage.
*SLAP*
*SLAP*
The more I listen the more I realize Matt is just a sociopath. Shane is a downsy insecure giant man with mega confidence. Both are hilarious.
Bingo
Insecure, mega confident….
...Shane has the BODY of an insecure giant ... with mega confidence... the confidence that one would get from having a teenis and dropping out of Westpoint after three weeks... ( I love these guys and they're way smarter,funnier and just all around better people than I am)
matt is the shaman of the dark wotters
Nah Matt is just a Philly renaissance man
Apparently the average dong size of MSSP listeners is like 7.5 according to these comments
role-playing in comments
Couldn't read your full comment, my dong covered my phone again.
Im 7.5 but millimeters
Cough ** yeah yeah totally checks out, just take my word for it….. please just take my word 😅
Real dawgs measure in centimeters.
to measure an emergency teenis you need a microscope and a calipers and some soft sounds to coax the piglet out
My story isn't as bad as Matt's, so I'm feeling good rn thanks for sharing matt
"There's no way there's a big enough sample size to get a read on a country of 150 million men" 😂
Her pokedex of dongs is killing me rn lolol 😂
i've been starting to use the word "teenis" in irl life
Stuck at 5, trying to unlock more
PeePop is my Gemini Brotha
he a supa gremlin
Dat unc
This channel is purely gold! I'm subscribed to their Patreon and I have listened to this channel more than their Patreon. And the thumbnails are God!
Post practice dick, we used to call it “cup nuts”….you can hang a solid 6, but after 2 a days it’ll look like a baby bird in a shitty nest…no bueno
The blood gets filled with teenis-destroying toxins after heavy exercise...the correct procedure is ice bath, force blood through liver, then shower, forcing blood to the "ghost in the shell"...
The shittiest nest
Peepop! You a super gremlin bruh
10k in 17 hrs, DAWGZ IN ACTION
mccusker is a real seventh day adventist.
Matt is 7" how is that small? Lmao
Couldn’t doggy my past two gfs without easing into it and I’m 7“ too.
Bc he’s been with some real soldiers who’ve hopped on some totem poles
“Damn, are you sure you’re not leading people into these dick conversations?” Hahahaha
😤”I’m not drinking tea, dude”
Matt you are hilarious.
Dog bird is real. I got an extra 1.5/2 inch.
Had to sub, this channel is a goldmine. Teenis reveal when?
I think the fact that Matt says he would be mad about having a 3 inch Korea wang while Shane says he'd be completely fine with it
...it says something about those boys. I think Shane has done some accepting in his life (and pants).
Nah man Shane has got to be packing. He's got an S/O and it's definitely not because of the pedo stache.
Nah only a hung guy talks like that. If you’re willing to downsize, you must’ve wrecked some vjs in your time.
MSSP and this channels clips cured my depression 😅
Did they mean ASEAN? Hahahaha
5:40 real talk lol
10:46 how the fuck did Matt come up with that line on the spot. Dude is smart as hell.
"Spudd is my spiritual father "
Matt’s the ultimate dawg
The missed pun to fucking say “Tumbleweave” drives me nuts 23:13
This was more than thirty minutes...above average!
McCusker is too funny.
Matt was unhinged
I was with some brutal chicks fr the chick I lost my virginity with, I dated her for a couple months like a year before it happened, and she loved talking about one time where her ex, who she was still friends with, railed her so hard her hoohah closed up, like put itself into defense position. I really settled and took a lot of weird manipulation from chicks with personality disorders
Dude that’s fucked up..
For what it's worth man, that's a medical condition called vaginismus and probably had little to do with the intensity of railing.
Sorry you had to go through that though.
I'd have guessed Asians measure their teenis using algerba
Mike Nardi lmao
The title of the video already has me dying
3.8 is TOUGH
Domt make fun of stav
@@nolanduarte you mean Sagalow?
Those numbers aren’t true. A much more in-depth study was done a few years ago and basically every country has the same distribution in size.
That other shit is just meant to make guys insecure, sell dick pills, etc.
I’ll find the study if you want
I think it’s kinda cool.
For real that's way too big
Mckusk is my boy. End of story.
Seriously.
thats so gay
@@justinsmith4562 but i love him Daddy
@@justinsmith4562im gay
Ooo a rare Matt thumbnail
I am thick like can of Pepsi.
Crucial
That is uh very very oneraberr.
Yuck
Wow wow wee wow
Shane’s Asian accent will never get old🤣
This episode of FULL of lovers quarrels.
Len(hard) != len(aggressively_hard). y’all know what I’m talkin bout
lol the trudges
Thank god for Matt
As a Korean I can confirm we all have exactly 3.80 inches of dong
Hard ???
I relate to Matt so much 😭😭
The new Dudesy voice has 100% made everything much much better... I gotta say Football Baby sums him up perfectly
ASEAN is a region 😂😂😂
The association of southeastern Asian nations is not having a dick off😂😂😂
Teenis the best word!
17:45 fire statement
I'm looking forward to my my reconnaissance or my beard to finally grow in.lol
Your dick will stop growing around the time you finish puberty so chances are unless you’re under 18 what you have is what you got
Solid 6.5
12:00 absolutely crazy anecdote
Yo peep, the Matt and Friends channel is tryna go to war with the ultimate dawg, Notorious Peepop? That channel fuckin stinks. SODTAOE
@J Holt that vietnamese dude kinda rules for that though
@J Holt na dude, well take um down again
@J Holt He comes after the Pop and we're breaking out the FatMan & LittleBoy combo on his flat ass.
@@mandybee3127 until all our clips have virtual aquariums and a little asian dude in the corner gaming
I'm packing twelve. Centimeters.
Enjoy it.
Shane's Asian accent will always be my favorite thing.
It may not be thick but it’s short
I finally measured mine and realized I had a lack of confidence for no reason my shits swangin
how big?
7 inch Gang rise up
porn ruins dudes perspective of size
@@booatesI think it depends on the porn. I feel like these days with OF and the rise of amateurs you see a lot more normal and even below average ones.
If porn taught me anything it's that there's a broad range out there. And I dunno about you guys but I do not envy those men with monstrosities. They don't even look fun to use.
my day needed this. both guys insanely talented
Always knew my facial hair would come to curse me
Duuuude Matt boutta make me press my girl lmao
Shane was a buzz kill at the beginning of this lol
Been listening to a bunch of these clips lately, and I’m realizing how much more listenable Shane has gotten in the past few years. In the old eps, Matt seems like his same old self, while Shane noticeably seems insecure and even modulates his voice and seems guarded, and has a general attitude that they always suck, or thinks what they are talking about is stupid. I almost can’t stand that he talks in this quieter, unnatural part of his vocal range in these, it makes him sound like such a prick compared to now.
Shane was crabby in this one
does matt remind anyone else of an angry beaver?
this episode physically hurt god damn matt