ATOMIC SCARE FILMS Volume 1
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- Опубликовано: 20 сен 2024
- According to the Cold War-era instructional films collected here, any nuclear holocaust can be survived by merely hiding under a tool bench. And that pesky fallout can be easily disposed of through a brushing of the trousers, a fingernail cleaning, and a good shampoo.
Thanks to the guinea pigs in Hiroshima, we now know about SURVIVAL UNDER ATOMIC ATTACK, and apparently all the answers are contained in a flimsy pamphlet, as read and discussed by a suburban couple in their Sunday best, enjoying a good evening smoke.
The immortal DUCK AND COVER opens with a musical animated sequence in which a happy-go-lucky turtle is tormented by a monkey wielding dynamite, to show kids how to "duck and cover" in case of nuclear attack. To demonstrate, we are shown endless drills of boys and girls ducking and covering in the classroom, outdoors, and at a picnic as soon as the narrator yells, "Duck and cover!"
YOU CAN BEAT THE A-BOMB is an amazing piece of atomic propaganda that basically says a nuclear attack may be a tad inconvenient but it’s nothing to get too upset over. Just close the windows, hide under some furniture, stay inside for about an hour, then start to clean up. It also contains some hilarious "what if?" scenes in which Mom unplugs the iron before taking shelter. Dad, however, is the big know-it-all who can spout off a credible-sounding yet suspect answer to any nukie question thrown his way. For example, when his kids ask, "Can we catch radiation from you, Daddy?" Daddy answers, "No, I’m keeping it all to myself!" as he scrubs the fallout off with a quick soap lather! And remember, if you get radiation poisoning, "lie down and rest".
Someone who sounds like John Forsythe narrates the cleverly titled, AMERICAN CITIES ATOMIC FALLOUT STRATEGY, which details our nation's plans for The Big One, via cool fallout animation. At the "nerve center for survival" everything is labeled with bold signs like the Batcave, so we know we're in good hands.
ATOM STRIKES! surveys the devastation of war-torn Japan, with a bounty Japan, with a bounty of footage of demolished buildings and ravaged landscapes. Come out, come out, wherever you three-headed children are!
Also included are a handful of National Guard commercials, including a singing cowboy spot, and a couple of cartoon kids being spun senseless by stock disaster footage.
So stock up on canned goods, stay away from windows, follow the simple directions included in these films, and, what the hell, you too may learn that atomic attacks may be a tad inconvenient but also a lot of good old-fashioned fun. From 16mm mushroom-cloud prints. -- Rod Lott, Hitch magazine
Today everyone would be outside trying to take photos of the mushroom clouds
🤣
Millions of double-crispy Darwin awards being given out.
Where the hell was I when these joyous little nuggets were originally screened? Pitching pennies or smoking in the boys room, probably.
Atomic Scare Films! I originally bought this from the great Mike Vraney on VHS tape! I still have the DVD. Thank you, Something Weird!! 😀
"A teacher asked her class, "What do you do in case of atomic attack?""
A student answered, "You are to lie down in the gutter and cover yourself with a sheet. When it is over, you proceed slowly to the graveyard."
"Why slowly?" asked the teacher.
"So you don't create a panic," answered the student.
~ Sergei Khrushchev
Practice stretching exercises, so you can bend over and successfully kiss your arse goodbye.
Thanks for the post.
Nice to see you back.
Yes unplug the iron and draw the shades this will protect you from nuclear annihilation...
Sure. I’d be calm enough to think about that. I’d just duck and cover under the school desk I got. Everyone knows school desks are bomb proof.
Juat think, the atomic bombs back then are now firecrackers compared to the nuclear weapons we have today.
You need to read a history book .
We have toned them down significantly since Tsar Bomba
You are right - common warheads now range from 150 kiloton up to a megaton. And there are larger weapons ready also for underground bunker destruction. If it kicks off we are all toast.
@@DrNickRiviera408 Which book, scholar?
@@captaincat1743 Not counting each ICBM can carry multiple warheads.
I remember a "Duck and Cover" lesson in Mrs. Boggs 6th grade class. I laugh at it now. I know better.
We had one in the 80s. Now what I know, I don't care to survive such a thing.
@@lmaoyourekiddingme I'm frankly just glad the civil defense isn't telling us all to cram in "shelters" like sardines and put up with each other for a few weeks as a "drill". Though I'm fairly certain they'd have left a black man like me alone....
I remember doing duck and cover practice in school. The newspaper was there to take photos. I even got my photo in the paper. I was the star of the family! 😜
Instead of showing kids "Duck and Cover" videos, they should have just shown them "Threads", to give them a small flavour of the reality.
Our leaders knew then that people will continue to go about their lives and not try to stop this madness if you give people the one most important thing, hope. If they at least have hope for survival people will go along with just about anything. If you take away hope, anger will take its place and people will rebel.
Sadly we may actually be in need for this more than in the past 😢.
If you live within 5 miles of a strategic military or industrial target, the last thing you’ll be aware of is a blinding white light
Nah
@@yankeedoodle1963 You're that close. will you be dead before the flash even gets there?
@@markm6488 I might be dead before you even read this
@@yankeedoodle1963 you still here?😊
I'm going to keep a newspaper in my truck from now on so I can be safe from nuclear annihilation
Hey if it works for cockroaches.... XD
The cellar is the safest place. Just like in Night Of The Living Dead! 😀🧟♂️🧟♀️🧟
It’s all well and good to lean into dealing with radioactive fallout; but if you’re anywhere near the gamma rays, fireball or blast zone, there’s a decent chance YOU’LL be PART OF the fallout
That's hilarious when dad says the other parts of the house may be exposed to radiation so they should not go into those areas for at least an hour. ... The reality if we get hit by a nuclear attack (which will target all the world's nuclear power stations also) then we should better stay put for a couple of thousand years. A little bit longer than the hour that dad suggests.
Ironically these shows seem to act more like it's promoting male chauvenism than anything. Yeah cause the guy has a penis, he's suddenly the authority and expert about radiation and the wife and kids are ABSOLUTE morons who couldn't survive without puppet strings. I think in this day and age, kids seem to know more about warfar than parents.
all in all though, we never would've survived Hollywood's idea of society if it truly reflected how most people lived. Every house I've been to, the mother usually was the one who had everything figured out. Not the "every kid is worth this many dollars..." dads they keep showcasing...
Madness in its casual attitude toward nuclear weapons. Oppenheimer understood the reality of their threat to mankind...
We all technically did, hence it being kept secret for so long. All this nonsense we're seeing in the films is just "damage control" so the govt can earn the trust of the population while developing more mass weapons and keep control over everyone. Fortunately, it didn't last too long as after VIetnam and several other "incidents" the govt and those organizations started to seriously be held accountable. And then 9/11 happened.... I swear it's like the US just can't stop p8ssing people off and making our lives political tools for some grotesque men to keep calling the shots, but alas... the best thing we can do for ourselves and families is remain educated and NOT devour propaganda
I am an ex Nuclear, Biological and Nuclear Warfare Defense instructor British army and some of the items in use then the 1970s smacked of stupidity such as the KIP or Kit Individual Protection, a piece of rubberised sheet you used to cover your combat trench on which you pilled earth to survive a battlefield nuclear attack.
We ducked and covered. Always nice when a pretty girl was in the desk in front. Nice view before my ass is grass.
Always hilarious how the monkey wipes itself out when Bert ducks. Hey! And who could complain about...that...being the last thing you ever see, eh?
Hehe you can imagine today where students wear less at school than they do at the beach, but hey...game is game if we're all gonna die anyway.
Keep these coming! I've seen footage from these in "The Atomic Cafe." It's great to see the complete films the footage is taken from.
So glad to see this channel uploading again! Miss this wonky content from old school cable days. ♥️
THe best thing about these archives is no matter what our schools and cartoons try to say about the past, THIS is all video proof of how rediculous we were and how far we've come from the "golden age". Anyone can follow a script and pretend to be a perfect family, but let's be honest...HOW many families actually wore SUIT AND TIE to thier own homes? and were able to talk like thier families were just a subtraction from the bank account? XD (Though I will admit my dad did mumble at first about us not dressing for dinner, but both he and my grandmother realized how silly it was to force us to do that).
Pay your Taxes -- Or else.
Pay your Tithe -- Save yourself!
If you don't, either way;
There'll be Hell to Pay.
Pay Attention, hey!
Pay your Dues
If you don't, either way
It'll be Bad News
~Steven of Montreal
Oh, no! I haven't heard "Duck & Cover" in decades! (I... had this channel on the cable TV at my parents' house growing up, I'm old, but damn!)🤣😭
But remember to turn off the tractor 🚜 first Ouch!
@@mugwugthemagnificful 😂
Get out of the way of the flash quicker than the speed of light. Less than nano seconds to respond.
@@John-pp2jr 🤣
The only time I saw it was my science teacher roasting it. XD Bless him though, he was a great person.
lol. Eek its coming ! Radio activity is completely harmless, this video says so. few ! I got a bit worried but now I can lie under a table I feel very safe
"I've been carrying radioactivity around with me and didn't even know it! Heh!"
"How long have you had that watch?"
"Oh, about 5 years or so! Why?"
"I wouldn't make any long-term plans if I were you!"
Ironic humor. They made those films as busywork.
If atomic war happens, it’s back to the Stone Age.
I think now a days we have enough archives and redundancy to quickly rebuild society. After all look at Nagasaki and Hiroshima today, they look ultra fine and modern. Same for some cities in Rowanda despite the genocide. We as a species will be fine. In fact, the devastating earthquake that destroyed Tokyo a decade ago was the opportunity to rebuild the infrastructure better, as this video alludes to. Sure the people will be gone, and a lot of our stuff burnt, but there's no way a nuclear war could realistically destroy and reset ALL of human progress. land is a LOT bigger than it seems and many areas in the US won't even notice a bomb was dropped...unless some country launched ALL their nukes at the same time and just went for broke but even then, you'd probably be fine in remote parts of Montana or Kansas or whatever.
Nice to see some of the old collections being uploaded here
In the 1st video that whole bit about the health of the Japanese afterward may have had a sliver of truth. However, it was a lie. The people still had health and reproductive issues after 1951. There are still a small amount of people with health issues.
True and it was a little odd saying how many could have survived if they'd taken precautions..
They had no idea a nuclear bomb was going to be dropped on them and had never heard of one.
They also lied about what happened in the Marshall islands, people were used as guinea pigs to test radiation effects after the bomb was dropped, it was a long term study
Amerca's elitism and Racism really pervailed until the last few decades... There's so many cases of blatent propaganda and hypocracy that even today seem to go over people's heads. "Oh lets stop those Evil Nazis from taking over the world... but don't worry about all the Blacks, Native Americans, Mexicans, and Asians who are still being persecuted to this day.... Only when white Europeans die does everyone have to drop everything and FIGHT! Oh and if you're a woman, god help you.
They couldn’t let the whole truth get out. The American people and others around the globe would have never gone along with the madness of a possible all out nuclear war.
Ionically, reality is far scarier than any of these movies.
Ionically, and ironically.
⚛️
@@absinthealice I guess I could edit it, but of course that would spoil the fun.
On a serious note: Until the mid-1960, the US Atomic Energy Commision (now the NRC) beat a constant propaganda drum; extolling that "the atom" and atomic energy was the ultimate energy source for the future. Ships, cars, aircraft, machinery and on and on and on, all was needed was the technology the future would bring.
We visited the AEC exhibit at the 1964 World's Fair & made the mistake of signing up for 'educational material'. We found our mailbox stuffed monthly with booklets about Our Friend The Atom for the next 2 years.
They had to make all that debt money back somehow now that the wars were over and people did NOT want to go back to Vietnam....
A limited atomic war may have been survival but once the thermonuclear genie was out of the bottle it was realised that it would be more or less futile
Some of this stuff is more relevant today than it has been for the last few decades because the idea of Mutually-Assured-Destruction has eroded. Someone may actually attempt to use smallish, strategic nukes in my lifetime, and the fallout could blow anywhere.
"Today, they bear children. Their children are normal." Holy hell.
If only the Japanese knew they just had to stand behind concrete, they'd have all survived. GOSH if only....
The way these guys talk about the atomic bomb sounds more like a threat from the higher ups in congress than any foreign entity.
@@MarioMastar Dude, you don't know what you're talking about. Surviving and having normal children are two different things. Having taken the Nevada Test Site tour and stood at the cement structures on Frenchman Flat, I'd as soon not test that theory. Your theory also doesn't account for heat, let alone radiation/fallout/contamination. I stood underneath a steel railroad truss that was bent from the heat and force of Plumbob-Priscilla, only 37 kt detonated 3000 feet above ground zero 1500 feet away. And any concrete has to be reinforced of adequate thickness. Refer to the Frenchman Flat concrete domes. There's a good article with photos on CNet called "Boom! Nevada's nuclear legacy (pictures)" by Daniel Terdiman.
I don’t think those three jugs of water are going to be enough for two weeks. Not even for one person.
Duck and cover. The biggest joke of civil defense!!
Better than nothing
@@rapierduell Nah, we all know what "scaring the population" with foolishness does. I think we would've been better off with nothing. People didn't speak highly of those stupid drills. there's a reason despite there being MORE nukes we don't do that stuff to this day.
Thanks so much for this post! More, please.
Rule Number 1 in the event of a Nuclear Attack: keep your garden clean.
First thing St Peter's gonna ask at the gate is "How are your cucumbers...."
"Hey, hey, hey... we're in the movie, I'm feeling up and I'm feeling groovy. Let's go out and get some of that. Gimme, Gimme, Gimme some Russian rullete". "LOTNC". 🙁
He covered the window with a blanket with holes in it... Oh the humanity...
Long live Weird.Forever!!!!!
It was nice that the CD was so concerned with fallout during the Cuban Missile Crisis that they released that didactic movie starting about 18 minutes in. Fallout wasn't of much concern: We were all terrified of being obliterated by the bomb itself (me included - it was the scariest time in my life). Among the deepest fear was being told in class that an H-bomb would kill and destroy everything within a 50-mile radius of ground zero. Our home was within 50 miles of two probable nuke targets. Sleep well dear children,,.
The sight of the result of the bomb (about 50 minutes in when the guy is touring Japan) is what they really should've been showing in schools and to the population. I wouldn't be surprised if like Vietnam war footage, the people at home saw clearly that we were all trained to be ruthless killers and destroyers, not protectors of freedom like stated. Though I know IF Japan wasn't bombed, it would've kept the war going far longer and the US was planning a far more devastating strike against Japan (carpet bombing the whole island), there's something still uncanny about the govt focusing on telling us "how to survive" the attack when we can clearly see that NOTHING could survive no matter the preparation if the enemy really wanted to seriously wipe us out. Heck seeing the scene where the guy points out the shadows of the bridge beams and being reminded of the other video where the narrator sardonicaly states "If the Japanese knew how to duck and cover, they would've survived the explosion too". Yeah...that gives us full trust and comfort if the ONLY COUNTRY KNOWN AT THE TIME TO HAVE NUKES is nonchalantly joking about how "easy it is" to survive. Solution? Pack us into cramped buildings like sardines...
Fortunately hindsight is 20/20. Now a days we're not going to pretend we could survive an all out nuclear war. The best way to survive the atomic bomb...is to never allow it to be launched in the first place. Quit taunting enemies that have the capabilities to do so, and prepare defenses that will re-route any bombs. Though in modern warfar, the key to destroying the enemy is "from the inside" lately.
15:25 I’m working on my final requirements for Second Class for BSA
We did not learn this
22:48 too close to home
Something Weird uploads are back, baby!
44:40 This music was unsed most effectivly in the movie "War of The Gargantuas."
Man I wish you could still drive out to The Nevada Test Site to see atmospheric tests.
Why do you think cancer is so prevalent today?I wish you could be in the middle of one.See how cool it is then .You are WOKE as hell .Wake up!
same bro
Nah. I'm glad we are not irradiating our planet any more.
@@nowthatsjustducky I think there's enough brain damage from the results of that. XD
Old school ❤
Humanity is likely to see early species extinction. 😢
This is very entertaining. 36:33 Stinson Reliant.
Good upload
Push the Button 🍄
❤
Thank you
Safest place is in your homes, to keep the roads free for miltary to quickly get all the wealthy and important people to safety in underground bunkers with built in air filtration 12 months supply of fresh drinking water and plenty of food.
So racing away to safety is a waste of time as you'll not get past the armed borders closing main roads.
But you might be able to watch all those wealthy people being taken from thier own homes, which aren't safe, to places that are certainly much safer
If they knew what we did about civil defense dozens of lives might have been saved.
I'm sure most deaths in the time was from zealouts trying to enforce pushing people around due to the fear of the bomb threat, than the bomb itself. I mean look at how we handle mass shootings today... oh but let's worry about Russia nuking us... but do nothing about the terrorists who are literally American citizens....
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Hard to believe brought into this bullshit.
d uh