I WAS BETRAYED?! + TOXIC & JEALOUS FRIENDS + COMPETITIVE FRIENDS ETC etc
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- Опубликовано: 1 окт 2024
- Hey loves, In this video I answer your question on friendship.
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I always love your take on friendships, Dimma very insightful. Permit me to rant. At this stage of my life, I could write a whole book on friendships. It took an ‘awakening’ and being on a self awareness journey to realize I didn’t have friends and I had just been a people pleaser without boundaries all along. Nothing prepared me for being in my 30s without real friends who genuinely like and value me(let’s not talk about how being pretty especially in a way that stands you out makes people jealous of you) I have thrown shots and javelin sef, I don tire, I no do again. I could go on and on. As an empath and a highly intuitive person, It’s exhausting and sometimes I wonder why the energy I give is never reciprocated. Sometimes, I wonder if I am just over thinking the whole thing.
However, I’m confident my tribe is out there, while I am waiting, I will keep building and working on myself to attract them.
Just reading your comment now and I liked what you said.
I am also looking to meet great friends that are aligned with my next level.
If you would like to extend a genuine hand of friendship, kindly reply so we could connect.
I am currently base in Lagos. Thank you
I can so relate!
Hello Anu. You could have a beautiful soul and not meet your own tribe. My best friend right now saw I was in a wrong friendship and knew she wanted someone like me too. She prayed ahead before approaching me for us to be intentional about our little friendship. As time goes on I begin to notice she is the kinda of person I want too . God bless you @shade my forever soulmate.
story of my life. i’ve overstretched myself for people who only took advantage of my kindness. i recently learnt i’ve been a people pleaser and i’ve had to cut out a lot of people in my life right now. it is getting very lonely but i know my tribe is out there too. friendship in the 30’s are definitely not for the weak.
Exactly same thing with me
Watching this in a salon while getting my hair done and everyone found it interesting. Nice video dimma ❤
Hahaha same here now😂😂😂😂
Being left out by people you genuinely love/loved can be really painful.
So so painful 😢
I realized why we say adulthood friendship is hard because now we are becoming aware and learning ourselves. Growing up, when we sit on the same chair we are automatically friends 😂 and then we build from there but as an adult, I realized that friendship is hardwork. You need to be willing to put in the work such as being vulnerable, accountable etc
I am deeply grateful for my friends. Genuine friends are out there, I pray you find one
Everytime I listen to people when they talk about friendships, I'm always left in awe about how lucky I am to have had genuine friendships, some of them have existed longer than half of my life. I have few friends but they are are more than enough because we connect on a deep level.
Betrayals have made me build my walls so high…don’t look forward to making friends… we just keep it cordial and keep it moving because these alit of people are going through trauma and would do anything to hurt you because they feel you don’t have your own battles…
Thank you for speaking my mind. I actually do not want friends anymore. My mum and husband are enough TBH !
I’m so
Just make sure you vet people, before befriending them.
For the jealousy stuff right
Pastor Jerry eze was preaching and said "when God is blessing your neighbour, be happy because God is in the neighbourhood"
I feel when your friend has a good news or good things are happening to your friend it just means God is around the neighbourhood.
If you have issues with the jealousy thing I feel seeing it from that point of view could help.
My 2 cents🙂
"What we feel about the person we're jealous of is a direct reflection of what we think about ourselves" I just had to pause when Dimma said this. So on point 👌🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
We can’t pretend that jealousy does not exists, it does…just try to make yourself better, don’t be bitter, and don’t harm another person, and don’t back stab to get ahead
But don’t deny that jealousy is not a normal human feeling, acknowledge it and fix it
It's totally normal, infact use jealousy to elevate oneself, not hurt others.
@@sbusisiweshaba1715i think she meant being envious not jealous. I also don’t feel like like being envious is a normal feeling, it’s not normal to wish bad on someone or feeling satisfied if someone loses something you want, that’s like operating from a demonic spirit. I’m sure prayers help against this demonic feeling
I have only one female friend. One attribute that has kept us friends is because she has never spoken ill of anyone to me. She never gossips. She taught me real friendship and I'm grateful.
Im not in a hurry to make friends but I'd love to make good friends here in Lagos.
This is so true, Dimma.
I’ll also want us to understand that some people are seasonal in our lives. They’re only meant to be in our lives for a specific time & mission.
When it’s time to let go, let go.
I love the fact that people were not requesting HOW TO GET A MAN topic. i think meaningful friendships are important. I am trying to be intentional about that aspect.
Makes sooooo much sense! Watch how they speak of their friends...then you know how they speak of you when you're not there. Was screaming yes and nodding in acceptance just watching this.
Really really love this video! Every answer was on point.
My fave, thank you ❤️
My female friendship is with my sisters and I am ok with it .
Can definitely relate with you that I've become content with it, that even if I don't have someone I can genuinely call my friend in the future I'm ok with it but I have prayed about friendship and Yahuah has given the assurance that it will one day. So I'm just patiently waiting and working on my self to make sure when that time comes I'll be a better friend to them
I totally relate. I have 5 sisters.
Dimma this conversation is so wholesome. I just started to consciously tell God to give me genuine friendships, a sisterhood. But also like you said, prefer to be on my own praying to my God and dealing with my issues myself until God gives me sisters.
Friendships are so important and breakups can be harder than breaking up with an intimate partner. Im also a low maintenance friend and believe understanding is vital in friendship. Great video ❤❤❤
It's the igbo in between the english for me 😂. Friendship breakups are not fun. I've experienced this and i was genuinely heartbroken and grieving. But if you've tried your best, you're honest and you've poured out your heart to your friend(s), and nothing changes, then walk away.
Valid points dimma. This is insightful.
To be honest, we all need to be discerning when it comes to friendship. Pray about it, allow it become organic and know your place in people's life and act accordingly. If you notice some traits in yourself just as Dimma explained, let's endeavor to work on ourselves.
Acknowledge these habits, engage in consistent effort to make yourself better and ask God to give you gifts that will bring you before great people.
I'm also learning, unlearning and relearning.
@dimma, thank for your wisdom. May you continue to increase in wisdom. Amen 🙏
Because of the things people put me through, I don’t believe in friendship and I’m too scared to get close to anyone. I believe in having surface level associates. That way I don’t have high expectations, I don’t get close, and I don’t share deep things. We hang out, have surface level conversations, and go home. I don’t trust a soul in this world, not even my parents. This is sad to say but even my parents have used and hurt me because of my personality. For the rest of my life, I’ll never trust anyone. Only God and Jesus Christ. It makes me sad but I have to protect myself. I’ve cried enough.
Wow. I pray you get healed 😢
I pray YAHUAH heals your heart and I pray you find joy and peace in the most high that you don't become dependent on your family and friends to provide that for you, that you are so full of it (Joy and Peace) that whatever life throws at you, you have the assurance that Yahuah will always be by your side
I pray you find healing lady, and unlearn some things you adapted due to past hurts ✌️
I am so sorry to hear this. I pray for healing. God didn’t make us to do life alone. There is actually reward in meaningful friendship. I pray you find it in this lifetime, it will make life easier 🙏🏽
This is so me! Don’t trust anyone except Jesus Christ. The world is evil.
How do you maintain the curls on this hair pls? BTW, you're beautiful as usual and the video is lovely too ❤
Exactly I feel most women that say I like male friends only, don’t understand the depth of sisterhood. Most times they just like being the center of attention bcos men tender to cater to women even if it’s just their female friends n it’s more of a lazy friendship.
There's just this way Dimma addresses topics that makes it so beautiful.. God bless you Dimma❤
If you don't have friends you don't have this problem. A woman will rarely EVER make it to the friend category with me. I simply don't care for female friendships. My life is so peaceful.
I have just two female close friends. Others are acquaintances. I love a drama free life 😊
I enjoyed watching this video. Didn’t think I would watch the entire video wen I clicked but i ended up watching every minute. When you started and said you could go months without taking to “some” friends i was like hmmm ok… but wen i watched further I understood the earlier statement and that doesn’t include your close friends or better put “best friends”. And also I agree with you marriage/kids shouldn’t stop you from being friends with your single friends or friends who don’t have kids yet. And i am also the kind of friend that loves to talk about everything. If there’s an issue I want to talk about it instead of just pretending that all is well. It’s always better when you have conversations about it. But then again when I’ve done it quite a few times and it doesn’t really get better i just stop talking and give my space. I think my friends know this about me that if we have issues they know I would definitely want to talk about it but if I don’t want to have a conversation about it then I’m done done. Adult friendship is not easy ooo but liking you said there is still time to find your tribe 💯.
It's always dimmas igbotic accent for me😂❤❤
I didn’t want this video to end. I love how relatable the questions were and Yo!!! Dimma, you answered like a PRO! Loved it 😍
Finally 💃💃💃💃
The wait is over
Welcome back Dimma 😍
I love you so much 🥰
Thank you so much Dimma. This video's timely. I crave sisterhood deeply 🥺
I just turned 40 a few weeks ago so I'll give those watching advice for your future 40 year old self.... "Befriend Yourself!!!"... Decisions about friendship will become easier after you have gone through the that process... Cause yes, befriending yourself is a process and looks different for everyone....
Dimma is always full of so much wisdom.
I work remotely and have to be intentional about building community outside of work. Going out is so important. You can meet your future partner or future friend.
Hmmmm this friendship topic ehn!😢 A few years ago, i decided to reignite/reenforce the few female friendships I had and I'm glad I did. Even with that, life happened and that number has reduced now 😅. I don't necessarily have a 'tribe' but thank God I have 3 sisters so I'm good 🤷🏾♀️😅. I also know that friendships have different levels, grades and seasons which is totally ok.
"Jealousy is always about why you but not me". Very well explained👍
This video is timely given the Hilda Baci, Ama and Bo hairs issue online.
What issue babes
Being intentional with friendships is so key.
You should talk about friendship dynamics during married friends. I am just experiencing this, my friend from high school we are just drifting apart, i feel like I'm always initiating all messages, sometimes she won't respond. she just changed when she got married and now her new friends are married friends 😢, its sad that during her bridal party most of the older ladies told her she should ditch her single friends, she said she wouldn't, two years later here we are. 😢heartbreaking 💔. Maybe its time to move on...
@angelina32 I might not know your dynamics but sometimes having children can change someone and might be physically and emotionally draining. Combine it with work/business and even the spouse can leave your friend with little time even for herself.
Like I said, I don't know her but I don't think it is intentional. Try reaching out as often as you can and if she is open enough, tell her how you feel gently.
@@ihemejenkeiruka4370 Spot on!
My dear that is how most of them are ,I just respect whatever it is and once in a while just check up and keep moving ,
Funny enough, I experienced this two days ago😂...when God wants to speak He really uses all kinds of sources!
Love it
Only 469K followers !!! ladies Dimmeh is the real deal ! to level up follow her !!!! 🇸🇳 and 🇬🇳
I dont have high expectations regarding friendship,i have just 1 and am fine with it because my gender has showed me a lot in this journey called life.
See the way I’m just laughing like a fool while watching this video. The part where Dimma said in igbo if the person saw the question tag she posted before asking about le boo, it was hilarious 😂🤣🤣
As always, Dimma always spits facts 💯👏🏽
Always a blessing hear you chat to us! Love the humour and wisdom mix too.
Thank you, Dimma ❤
If you need a friend (holla). Amazing people only. Hopefully this could be the start of an amazing friendship with someone.
I was so happy when I came across this video because I'm in a tough place in my life now.
There's this friend of mine, she's considerably older and she's getting married. I know I'm supposed to help her with the wedding plans and all but I just feel used. She doesn't let me have time for myself. It's like it's a crime for me to try to do anything for myself. She has a chief bridesmaid that doesn't help her out at all and when I ask her about it, she starts to tell me how the lady is only there for formality and pictures, how I'm the closest person to her, how she takes me like a sister and what not.
Even when I'm tired, like visibly tired, she doesn't acknowledge it and keeps sending me on errands. I'm exhausted, both physically and mentally. I fell sick last week and the only thing she was focused on was me coming back to help her and it's frustrating because I can't even really call her out and tell her how I feel because she's older and so she just keeps pushing me around and manipulating me.
I'm recovered now and the wedding is in 2weeks but I really don't want to go back to that space. Please, what do I do?
Just attend her wedding and from there, cut off all links.
Let me get my Chair 🏃
I didn’t want this to end. Thank you for all the gems you shared.❤️
I had lots of friendship breakups between last year and this year, i am tired really.
I hope i get my right people someday, Amen.
If I have a problem that I'm not ready to address, I speak to a female friend. When I want a plan or solution, I ask a male friend.
I opened Instagram this morning and in less than 5 minutes, I'm already seeing the hurt that 3some friendships have caused.
Dimma, flesh and blood did not reveal this to you to post at this time. TIMING IS PERFECT!
Lol. All these first to be here people 😂 can we breath...😂😂
I wish there's a way to like this video multiple times.
Your answers were so on point.💯💯
Thank you.🤗🤗
The beginning alone 😂😂😂😂😂😂
Dimma o😂😂😂😂😂
I don’t like women in professional aspects, as a boss/doc/service… they are usually not as kind as men. But as friends, I love women. I’m a low maintenance friend; I require nothing but maybe going places; I’ll show up for you. 😂😂😂
This is because a lot more is expected from women in professional settings. If you are kind, you aren't management material. Etc. the harder women appear (at the same time not too hard so they aren't called other names), the more they are deemed worthy of promotions/growth. This is my experience after 10 years of being a professional space.
The algorithm must be stalking me cause this was so perfectly timed! ♥️
Dimma, you are not only beautiful but gorgeously inteligent, God bless you for this video.
I love her content so much and this particular topic was a banger❤
I really enjoyed watching this and your responses to these questions were very balanced and insightful
The wig is wigging !!!!!!!
Hi Dimma where is that top from?
Thank you so much Dimma🤗❤️
This video means alot to me
Cause I have seen plenty shege in this friendship thing😢
I really love these sit-downs. Thank you Dimma, addressing the pertinent questions with such maturity and drawing on your own personal experiences. Adult friendship are quite tricky in your thirties. 😮💨
Just here to appreciate Dimma’s beauty 😍😍
'Are you a goat'😅😅Another interesting and informative sit down
This video was aligned to the questions and concerns I've been habouring- Thank you ❤❤❤
Not this video dropping after this bestie trio breakup stuff happened on IG! But yeah most of us have gone through this in one way or the other! Weldone Dims❤️
They’re about 15 firsts here😅😅..great😅
Dimma, are you reading Honey and Spice👀?
Dimma don't leave us for so long again 😢😢😢😢😢😢😢
All Gems dropped 🙌🏽 When you talked about modeling what Jesus will do sealed it for me. You're really good at this 🙏🏽💙🙌🏽
Dimmmmmmmmmaaaaaa, I’ve been waiting for you. Welcome❤
Hmnnn! Learnt a lot. I’m not even open to Friendships Anymore. Less friends! Less envy.
Such a chaotic intro! 😂😂
I haven't gone far watching but I am in love with this video. Am 23 and struggle with friendship especially making friends this video will help alot. Thank you so much dimma❤❤❤
This was a wholesome video on this topic. Thank you Dimma
I stopped to say 'you're pretty!!!!!' 🥺
I am the only one on This table...I will be friends with some people,they will marry and I just get to know on Facebook 😢😢😢
Like,it's crazy
You’re like a big sister, you just make so much sense. Thanks Dimma❤
This was a fun conversation. Couldn’t stop listening ❤
I always love when you switched to your igbo accent😅😅😅😅
Dinma🥰, you’re like an elder sister. I love your sense of maturity.
O si no "Church is like hospital. Some people there are responding to treatment, some people are not."
Nne biko 😂😂😂 true analogy o 😂
You’re looking beautiful dear😊 as always ❤
Thank you so much ❤️
Im first!!! 😁🤭
Love you dimma ❤❤
😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣 I bu ewu? I’ve not even started watching and you’ve started
I do have a question; I'm on a certain financial level & don't have friends on the same level. I'd really love to have a close knit circle of friends that could go out & do things together without feeling any financial pressures. How do I find them?
PRAY, prayers changes things. Talk to your father about even the things you consider little.
What are the hobbies that you enjoy and can afford because of your luxury? Start going to those places frequently and you will increase your chances of meeting others on your level.
DimDim you need a podcast😂
This video is so insightful. We agree on alot of things about friendships too.
Loved it
Hello Dimma.... can you share your salad recipes please. Something for a skinny person. Thank you 😊
I nodded a lot watching this. This was really awesome to watch. Thank you.
Hi D, I love you. Can I get a ❤? Thank you 😊
I’m really glad I watched this.
Uhm, our good Sis Dimma needs to share the deets on the suit in the intro. 👌🏾👌🏾👌🏾👌🏾❤❤
About friends and jealousy, I don't necessarily think its all about one feeling like the other is better, sometimes, in other scenarios it be just about " oh I wish I could have that too" ...and I think if it just stops there then it isn't a bad thing. Jealousy is an inbuilt emotion in every one of us. The problem comes when one can't keep it in check.
It is not in all of us. Speak for yourself. I dont feel poorly about anyones success. It inspires me. I got this trait from my mom. Even when a guy cheats, i could care less about the side chick. Its d man I face to see why he was not content… then i move on logically cos he should go where he is more content
@@aeiou0123LOL comprehension in life is key. PS; go and read up on jealousy. I will not school you for free.
@@aeiou0123same. I’m focused on trying to upgrade
You're so knowledgeable with this friendship topic! I'm learning, unlearning and relearning. Great job❤
You covered the topic very well.
It’s always so interesting listening to you ❤
a very insightful video.
please what liner are you wearing, it looks gorgeous!
Oh Lord……… Dinma’s energy on this video is something else 🥰. “ ibu ewu” 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Watching this after seeing bo hair's live video. Friendships are very complicated
I’m so bad at keeping in contact with my friends. Sometimes life gets so busy that we forget to stay in touch
Dimma Dimma, so eloquent, so wise yet hilarious. Always enjoy your videos.