For those that don't know the UK, when Cook says; "I applied for Lucozade" after being arrested, it's a comedy spin on accused persons with insufficient funding for their defence costs applying for Legal Aid (Lucozade is a well-known glucose energy drink!) Genius.
I got an unsuspecting sales clerk in the record dept of a large australian dept store to put this on their sound system for a test listen......the fun part was when they realised what was going on and I heard an almigjty SCREECH as the tone arm was rapidly yanked from the viny...treasured memoryl.
You know what would have been fitting? If Carl Sagan had placed this sketch on the Golden Record aboard Voyager 1 so it could be sent among the stars and into cosmos.
You know the tragedy, the absolutely awful fuckin' tragedy? It ne'er 'appened. And someday there'll be some stupid fucking aliens listenin', and Derek & Clive won't be there to greet 'em properly. *"Hello, cunts!"*
Wholeheartedly agree. A monumental opportunity missed by humanity. Lets hope that probe crashes harmlessly into an asteroid and there's still a chance for us to make things right.
I find it impossible not to laugh everytime I watch it. Nothing has ever or will ever be able to match this for uniqueness. Bawdy British comedy at its best. Dudley Moore was ace in Arthur and "10" as well.
She was a key witness! My favourite is "there's no point in squelching every time you sit down"! Just imagine a crowded London underground train during the rush hour with Peter Cook casually sitting down squashing five & a half pounds of crap reading a guardian rag newspaper & stinking the carriage out with everyone suffocating from the pong!
I shit my pants in school when I was a kid Sat down at desk squashing it Sat all day baking it walked home legs astride mum said whats that smell showed her it looked like a brown pancake she was nearly sick with the fuckin pong
"Yeah that's clever that because sometimes I make the mistake of not getting my trousers down & I find the usual experience where I get a load of crap in my trousers which is a fucking headache!"
Love the way Peter Cook basically hijacks this sketch at 1.46. I don't know where Dud was going with his story, but I doubt very much that it would have been as hilarious as what Pete came out with.
The more you think about this skit, the more it does your head in. If there were 'eleven separate heaps of shit' then it stands to reason ... the police-force raided the homes of ten other individuals across greater metropolitan London who'd shat themselves.
Peter Cook was an absolute genius, pissed or not. Pete and Dud/Derek and Clive were pioneers of this totally blue style of comedy. Uproariously funny. Completely without merit. Contradiction? Only to small minds.
If I could fiscally afford it I'd make a movie out of this sketch. It'd contain everything: the cops hauling him out and having 'scraped' - then weighing the crap at the forensic laboratorys. Finally having a caricature of the Queen dipping into the heaps of shit blindfolded.
Listening to this on good quality speakers is a revelation. I'm serious. When Cook goes into his routine about shitting himself (around two and a half minutes in) you can hear Dudley's stool creaking as he doubles up with laughter. Then there's the small matter of the greatest laugh ever recorded. 3:19
@kenfig I know it was bloody stupid of those twats in the BBC not too take up Peter Cook's offer to buy the videotape. It just proves how bloody petty minded that the Beeb can be. What year did this all happen then? Your right critics only seem to see past the extreme profanity and shock value of these albums than the brilliant use of language, serial imagery that Cook uses on these albums, which makes it so special.
The total abandonment of politeness and sensibility so far out the window makes these sketches unique and so very funny. Taken from drunken rehearsals I believe. One offs and probably never to be repeated in this now politically correct world of ours. 😂😂 They epitomise the times when u just think to yourself "what the heck" let's just have a laugh
It's even funnier if you know some stuff. Masseur Hulot is an allusion to Jacques Tati. I think Peter was impressed .. but not enough to break character.
Monsieur Hulot [mə.sjø y.lo] is a character created and played by French comic Jacques Tati for a series of films in the 1950s and '60s, namely Les Vacances de Monsieur Hulot (1953), Mon Oncle (1958), Playtime (1967) and Trafic (1971). The character of Hulot (although played by another actor) also appears briefly in François Truffaut's Bed & Board (1970).
@kenfig Yeah the mental picture of the Queen Mother getting wif of the crap from the palace and then having idenity parade too see which turd it was that upset her higness was brilliant sereal stuff. His use of the English language not just the swearing bits, was remarkable here as it was in the rest of the three albums.
How can you mention BenElton in the same breath as Derek and Clive? If Ben had had had had 1/25th of the talent of Derek and Clive he would have...well you get my mening with that! Peter and Dudley have nevr been equalled never mind bettered....FUCKIN' STAGGERIN'!
The idea that the police came around to where he was living in Islington & arrested him for doing 5 & a half pounds of crap in his trousers because the queen mother got a whiff of it was hilarious but hold on he mentions Islington! I was wondering if Jeremy Corbyn caught a whiff of it in his allotment & was staggering & reeling from it too!
With Police now knocking on peoples' doors to 'Check Their Thinking', seems enrirely in keeping that they would cart some shitpants off to Nick and weigh exibit A at the Forensics Lab - 5 and a half pounds of warm cr*p. This sketch was way ahead of its time.
@kenfig That's right way think about them there live forever in our minds. I myself can't think of them being dead until my dying day. People will be laughing at there work for hundreds of years too come, more than the Office or any other comedy of today.
@kenfig I agree the person who did that sort of vandalism to one of the most enduring comdies of all time should be up before a court. I always wonder if that section of the Horn in Ad Nausm where he tells those Africans to go round too the BBC, because the camera crew messed up filming him masturbating, and burn down the television centre was a vailed reference too the careless destruction of these series. Just concidence you may say but it would be interesting if that was true.
You've got to hand it to the British. In America we call it a police lineup. In the U.K. the same thing is called an identity parade. Identity parade! What a strange term. To most of us when we hear the word parade we imagine a lot of floats and people passing down the street in a celebratory manner. I don't see why they would call it an identity *parade*. Don't they just stand there? To me a parade suggests movement down a street.
Sometimes Derek & Clive is the only thing in this crazy world that makes sense.
I completely agree 👍
Derek & Clive - In The Lav. touche..... are you handy....?
Couldn't agree more !!!!!!!
I am still listening to Derek & Clive over thirty years later after discovering them as a teenager! And still laughing out loud... 😂
Snap! So thirty years after leaving your teenage years, looking, back, I wonder... what was the worst job you ever had?
@@K1lostream so I’m ten years older than that…. So I had the job of of scraping Prince Charlie’s population paste off the Royal curtains.
“The pong, was facking staggering”
LMFAO
“Squelching”
Dudley's laugh at 3:14 is just classic 😂
I literally cry every time I hear this. I laugh so hard, this is the best abdominal workout ever...
For those that don't know the UK, when Cook says; "I applied for Lucozade" after being arrested, it's a comedy spin on accused persons with insufficient funding for their defence costs applying for Legal Aid (Lucozade is a well-known glucose energy drink!) Genius.
I got an unsuspecting sales clerk in the record dept of a large australian dept store to put this on their sound system for a test listen......the fun part was when they realised what was going on and I heard an almigjty SCREECH as the tone arm was rapidly yanked from the viny...treasured memoryl.
F*cking STAGGERING… 😍
@@benbrown6263 the queen mother heard it
@@TheTralfaz Thank God for Lucozade
Derek and Clive doing the best ever Chelsea fan impression ever !
You know what would have been fitting? If Carl Sagan had placed this sketch on the Golden Record aboard Voyager 1 so it could be sent among the stars and into cosmos.
Fuckin' right mate..
You know the tragedy, the absolutely awful fuckin' tragedy? It ne'er 'appened. And someday there'll be some stupid fucking aliens listenin', and Derek & Clive won't be there to greet 'em properly. *"Hello, cunts!"*
That would be fucking staggering!
Wholeheartedly agree. A monumental opportunity missed by humanity. Lets hope that probe crashes harmlessly into an asteroid and there's still a chance for us to make things right.
How better represented could the human race be.....apart from the longest snot record setting.
Dudley's laugh, could split the atom.
I find it impossible not to laugh everytime I watch it. Nothing has ever or will ever be able to match this for uniqueness. Bawdy British comedy at its best. Dudley Moore was ace in Arthur and "10" as well.
Dudley's laugh, superb.
Well articulated.
A great imitation of a chicken at the start.
She was a key witness! My favourite is "there's no point in squelching every time you sit down"! Just imagine a crowded London underground train during the rush hour with Peter Cook casually sitting down squashing five & a half pounds of crap reading a guardian rag newspaper & stinking the carriage out with everyone suffocating from the pong!
“They took me away and had me scraped”.. 🤣
- There's no point in squelching every time you sit down...
- Well of course there is the fu*king pong as well...
I love Peter Cook's elocution
They will always make me and my best mate laugh
Thats the best crack up from DM on all the D and C sketches!
I love it how Dud keeps going "yuh" in that stupid voice whilst Pete's waffling at the end.
This is by far the best comedy ever produced.
I love Dud's "urr" at 2:59
trying not to corpse
I love the post war generation obsession with the Toilet.I hope it never goes.
the pong from that bit is fucking staggering
I shit my pants in school when I was a kid Sat down at desk squashing it Sat all day baking it walked home legs astride mum said whats that smell showed her it looked like a brown pancake she was nearly sick with the fuckin pong
I remember hearing this for the first time many years ago and laughing so hard at 3:13
Geniuses....! "She was a key witness..."!!
"a little bit of paper came under the fucking door"
"Yeah that's clever that because sometimes I make the mistake of not getting my trousers down & I find the usual experience where I get a load of crap in my trousers which is a fucking headache!"
Love the way Peter Cook basically hijacks this sketch at 1.46. I don't know where Dud was going with his story, but I doubt very much that it would have been as hilarious as what Pete came out with.
The more you think about this skit, the more it does your head in.
If there were 'eleven separate heaps of shit' then it stands to reason ... the police-force raided the homes of ten other individuals across greater metropolitan London who'd shat themselves.
"I applied for Lucozade" ... LOL
lol
i use this line a lot but never tell anyone where it's from
I can’t even.......how in Gods name did they get away with this. It’s blinding !!!! 😂
They tried to stop it. At that time boundaries were being broken in a huge way. Today it wouldn't happen
...the pong from that was fuckin' staggering...
Peter Cook was an absolute genius, pissed or not. Pete and Dud/Derek and Clive were pioneers of this totally blue style of comedy. Uproariously funny. Completely without merit. Contradiction? Only to small minds.
If I could fiscally afford it I'd make a movie out of this sketch. It'd contain everything: the cops hauling him out and having 'scraped' - then weighing the crap at the forensic laboratorys. Finally having a caricature of the Queen dipping into the heaps of shit blindfolded.
Matthew Tait to be fair it wouldn't have to be that long a film
Maybe you could make it like an anthology movie of like a bunch of Derek and Clive bits put to film.
brilliant ad lib. how can Dudley remain in control when listening the Peter C. i have liked this from when I first heard it 1982
Listening to this on good quality speakers is a revelation. I'm serious. When Cook goes into his routine about shitting himself (around two and a half minutes in) you can hear Dudley's stool creaking as he doubles up with laughter. Then there's the small matter of the greatest laugh ever recorded. 3:19
I lost it at the "forensic laboratories" bit!
AC Grayling got a whiff of it & was also a key witness in identifying the pong!
The pong from Jeremy Corbyn's allotment was fooking staggering!
"Suddenly, a little bit o paper come under the fuckin door ..."
Owen Jones & Lily Allen also volunteered as key witnesses to identify the pong!!!
😂
Just fucking mad....and hilarious
Wot right down the lav? LMAO within 15 seconds. Pete never misses an opportunity to try to derail Dud.
After being so nice to Jimmy Saville, Keir Starmer managed 5 & a half pounds of crap in his trousers at the inquest!
I applied for Lucozade.
I so love Dudley's chicken laugh in this at 3:13
Absolute magic !
3:13 is just too epic !
I wonder if Corbyn got a whiff of it as the pong started off in Islington!!!!!
Diane Abbott got a whiff of it & was staggering & reeling from the pong!
@kenfig I know it was bloody stupid of those twats in the BBC not too take up Peter Cook's offer to buy the videotape. It just proves how bloody petty minded that the Beeb can be. What year did this all happen then?
Your right critics only seem to see past the extreme profanity and shock value of these albums than the brilliant use of language, serial imagery that Cook uses on these albums, which makes it so special.
Layla Moran got a whiff of it & was reluctantly a key witness!
The Ayatollah's in Tehran caught a whiff of it & were flown over as key witnesses!
The total abandonment of politeness and sensibility so far out the window makes these sketches unique and so very funny. Taken from drunken rehearsals I believe. One offs and probably never to be repeated in this now politically correct world of ours. 😂😂 They epitomise the times when u just think to yourself "what the heck" let's just have a laugh
It's even funnier if you know some stuff. Masseur Hulot is an allusion to Jacques Tati. I think Peter was impressed .. but not enough to break character.
I often wondered what the joke was...still don't get it, I must google
Monsieur Hulot [mə.sjø y.lo] is a character created and played by French comic Jacques Tati for a series of films in the 1950s and '60s, namely Les Vacances de Monsieur Hulot (1953), Mon Oncle (1958), Playtime (1967) and Trafic (1971). The character of Hulot (although played by another actor) also appears briefly in François Truffaut's Bed & Board (1970).
Best ever my fav all time I was just try is where you were
Imagine Jeremy Corbyn walking around all day in Islington with with warm crap all over him!
Fucking provocative!
Enough to give anyone the 'orn!!
All I's tryin' to establish is where you fuckin' were
There were 11 seperate "eaps of shit"!
@kenfig Yeah the mental picture of the Queen Mother getting wif of the crap from the palace and then having idenity parade too see which turd it was that upset her higness was brilliant sereal stuff. His use of the English language not just the swearing bits, was remarkable here as it was in the rest of the three albums.
My uncle Bert's worse. Do you know what he said to me...?
I'm going to set fire to your nightie
" The pong from that was fucking staggering"
How can you mention BenElton in the same breath as Derek and Clive? If Ben had had had had 1/25th of the talent of Derek and Clive he would have...well you get my mening with that! Peter and Dudley have nevr been equalled never mind bettered....FUCKIN' STAGGERIN'!
@kenfig 'Like a lonely turd, I wasn't in the basin wonderful stuff.
My sister drove my Mum mad when this was released. I dunno if anyone except from the UK/Australia etc an relate to this
The idea that the police came around to where he was living in Islington & arrested him for doing 5 & a half pounds of crap in his trousers because the queen mother got a whiff of it was hilarious but hold on he mentions Islington! I was wondering if Jeremy Corbyn caught a whiff of it in his allotment & was staggering & reeling from it too!
anthony sokolsky hilarious stuff. Thanks for adding this to Derek and Clive. I laughed until my spleen perforated. Honest.
@@williammccarthy960 If you want the same hilarious laughter google Methane & Flingo fart & sing Oh Jeremy Corbyn! Your sides will be splitting again!
The Queen mother was pissed
@scumbag1975 I think Dudley says Queen Mother's massure messure Holo. Then he says that could be on the radio with that material great stuff there.
he applied for Lucozade
With Police now knocking on peoples' doors to 'Check Their Thinking', seems enrirely in keeping that they would cart some shitpants off to Nick and weigh exibit A at the Forensics Lab - 5 and a half pounds of warm cr*p. This sketch was way ahead of its time.
The thing I find quite funny about this, is that Peter Cook diverts us onto 5 1/2 pounds of his crap
@kenfig I can't stop laughing when get too this bit.
"...which is a fuckin' 'eadache."
fuckin' hilarious man!
She come along with her Japanese masseur
They had 11 separate heaps of shit...one of which was mine.
I always ignore Duddley's regret that most of it was ever made !! 😄
@kenfig That's right way think about them there live forever in our minds. I myself can't think of them being dead until my dying day. People will be laughing at there work for hundreds of years too come, more than the Office or any other comedy of today.
'No I don't mean daahn the fackeen lav, cun'!'
"Fours years ago..."
There's no point in Meghan Markle squelching everytime she sits down!
It show she is ready for any thing
Probably too many lobsters up her bum
"Suddenly a little bit o' paper comes under the fucking door..."
@scumbag1975 Then Peter says at end they held me over but I applied for Lukysade wonderful stuff.
Dont you mean we're far too old?
Staggering!........Lolz!!!
I had the same fackin problem today.
@kenfig I agree the person who did that sort of vandalism to one of the most enduring comdies of all time should be up before a court.
I always wonder if that section of the Horn in Ad Nausm where he tells those Africans to go round too the BBC, because the camera crew messed up filming him masturbating, and burn down the television centre was a vailed reference too the careless destruction of these series. Just concidence you may say but it would be interesting if that was true.
I've never been able to make out what Dudley says is written on the piece of paper that came under the fuckin door! Sounds like "Are you heeardy".
Scott Ward handy
You've got to hand it to the British. In America we call it a police lineup. In the U.K. the same thing is called an identity parade. Identity parade! What a strange term. To most of us when we hear the word parade we imagine a lot of floats and people passing down the street in a celebratory manner. I don't see why they would call it an identity *parade*. Don't they just stand there? To me a parade suggests movement down a street.
Right down the lav? 😂
@JNRbamyai 14!? You shouldn't be listening to this then, young man!
;)
On first hearing, this was the biggest laugh I ever had (or was it the worst job 🤔)
What amounts to an argument at the beginning
Haha ha haaaaaa!
Masseur hulot
what does "the pong from that was fucking staggering" mean? i heard him say it and as soon as i heard it, i saw its in the description too.
the smell was unbelievable
Also you can imagine seeing the person actually stagger after smelling it
Nice reverb.
@JohanDeSilentio Exactly! There is no God
Like Queen Mother had Japanese massuer.
Of course they were pissed, what rock have you been hiding under, they used to famously get together, get fucked up and record shit.