"Loneliness doesn’t come from not having people around - Loneliness comes when the people around you don’t understand who you are on a very deep level" I felt that
Re:Don’t understand who you are. I totally agree with with what you’ve said there, because it’s more their perception of who they think you are without actually knowing you. When I moved to a place where no one knew me, it didn’t find it daunting because I saw it as a fresh start. The environment was lovely, air fresh & green, if you know what I mean! I had a plan to integrate using my homemade scientifically formulated skincare & approached salons in my locality…great idea i thought. I did that & one salon said due to my professional background the person I spoke to was very keen & had to speak to her business colleague, which she did & the answer was no. I didn’t stop & kept going & approached all 4 salons with my 100% natural anti breakage hairgrowth product, which stops hair breaking & encouraging hair to grow at scalp level. I gave products away for free making it understood that it needed to be used for a minimum of 3 months, knowing that after using for 1 month they would be pleased with the initial results…. but no. I’m a middle aged woman but looks 10 years younger due to the skincare I create, using a lifetime of experience. I’m so unhappy & depressed that people seem curious about me but don’t want to get to know me. I’m chatty, well presented & told I’m attractive….an inventor! But it’s not enough. My interest in my purpose in life is waining, I’m single & live alone & hate it! I’ve stopped going out the house weeks at a time because when I do, I speak to no one & no one apart from staff in shops interact with me. God has said I’ve fulfilled my purpose in life by curing hairloss & hairgrowth issues but no one speaks to me on social media when I do posts. I don’t just do this for financial reasons I do this also to make friends by offering something different & useful to both men & women alike, sharing something I love to do & with 35 years luxury skincare experience. I’m based in the United Kingdom 🇬🇧 & craving for change in my life & want to be surrounded by some really decent transparent, good people to have deep meaningful relationships with. I have a good sense of humour in the right company too. Check me out on Instagram Kitxander Like by pressing the ❤️ drop me a line #lonelyheart & I’ll know you’ve seen this message. If all my followers are from here, that’s fine by me because we have to turn this loneliness around somehow & this suffering in silence & ALONE must stop ✋ #kitxanderapothercary #kitxanderhairfoodelixir20 #lonelyheart #antibreakage #instant #thickening #strengthening #menandwomen #thinninghair ? #hairgrowth #menopausal ? #allhairtypes #scalpcare #skincare #antiageing “I Have No Friends” 😞 #KITXANDER Instagram #kitxanderapothercary #share #thankyousomuch
Problem is that most lonely people are empathetic and actually go to lenghs to help people but usually when they need the same people even for a simple thing like talking or sharing your thoughts they hardly show up.
This has been my exact experience. When I was doing well in life I mentored refugees and helped different friends and family members with their rock bottom and crises situations. Those people then went on to do well, succeed and be happy. Now that I am struggling, most of them are no longer around. I've had more kindness from strangers. A kind neighbour I met supported me through two major bereavements after most of my friends had disappeared. Its very frightening to feel so alone and realise most people don't want to know if I am struggling and won't even listen to me after I was like a free therapist to them for years.
@@christinec4156 Sorry to hear that. What I am doing is redirecting my own resourcefulness back towards myself. We have the skills and empathy to help others so it's time we looked after ourselves first and foremost. Then in future when we're doing better, we can help others again, but with stronger boundaries, not giving away too much of our time and energy, and being discerning of who we help. I hope things improve for you soon, we can do this.
Exactly!! It's so frustrating not having people in real life who you can be your real authentic self too ): ,I'm apart of the lgbtq+ community so it really hurts that I have to hide. I wish I could be myself and have atleast one genuine friend that likes me.
I feel the same way man. Besides my brother, parents, and maybe a few neighbors, I don't have anyone to talk to say how I really feel inside. I have things bottled up inside because I wasn't taught how to express those feelings effectively and it got so bad years that I was thinking about suicide, even though I would never do such a thing. I'd often get invited to hangouts with people, but I feel even more lonely than when I'm alone and feel like I'm the odd one out and feel like i don't belong but i pretend to be a little happy. It drains me on the inside. My question, is, what's the point of life if every time you go out with people, you feel invisible and people just ignore you and that one random guy initiates a conversation that doesn't last more than 5 minutes.
Nick Powers i relate so much!! im alone with my thoughts most of the time and honestly it’s so frustrating and painful to have no friends to talk to about my feelings. so i force myself to hang out with the people in my life. But when I socialize i feel like i don’t belong at all and honestly I end up feeling even lonelier. I just want to find people I can be myself around already bc keeping all my feelings bottled up is literally so exhausting but I don’t really have any other option bc there’s nobody in my life I feel comfortable talking to. It’s comforting to know that im not the only one though haha. And I totally feel you about the suicidal thoughts. Life can feel super exhausting and empty, but we’ll get through it, life will get better with time :)
I liked being alone because I’m an introvert but now it is so painful it hurts. When I see groups of people or families having fun in public I wish I had that
Just become an extrovert, go to peoples houses uninvited and laugh at their face so theyll know how fun you are, then they'll eventually hang out with you
I'm alone but not lonely. I love peace and quiet. I get along fine with my coworkers and neighbors and also like the time when I keep to myself. It works and it's enough.
Same buddy I know the feels Be the best person you can be. F all that fitting in stuff. Only person that will make you or your life happier is yourself. Look forward not backword. Your better than them. Take care friend ❤ keep your head up
Honestly, I recently tried hanging out with people. It was a nightmare, so much drama and the people were emotionally draining. I came to the conclusion that it’s better to be alone than allow that kind of negativity into my life. Never again.
I find people regardless of if they are friends very draining and I get into a position where I am the one always giving or feeling like I'm not doing enough. I find it exhausting being in groups of friends and yes always drama or so much energy to think of things to say. I'm an empath so equate it to that. Im always Introvert independent and enjoy being alone. People dont understand that so they make assumptions and that puts negativity in the air. God is with us! It can be very confusing making 'friends' as there are expectations and working out social occassions and events. It really drains me so you arent the only one 🙂
I'm so sick and tired of being alone. I keep coming back to watch this video, because when I watch it, its like my emotions reflect within me. I want to vent somewhere, to someone. But I can't. So here I am. I have no friends and I have never had any true friends. I don't want to waste my youth by sitting cooped up in my flat, watching movies all by my self. Films are my go to when I feel alone, its like dipping my finger inside a Peanut Butter jar, but knowing I will never truly have it. Its the only taste of feeling what relationships could feel like to me. It feels like I have tried everything. Improving social skills, going to a mental health club, talking to a therapist, etc. None of that helped. NONE. I need to hold someone. I want hugs. I want to laugh with someone. But I have no one. I want to lay my head on someone's shoulder...but there's no one. I have cried so much about it, I can't even cry anymore. It feels like my life has no meaning. Is someone out there for me? I keep on hoping...but by each passing year nothing changes. I would do anything for real friendship or companionship at this stage. It feels like I am continually reaching out into an empty void of nothingness. So thats it. My heart cut and splayed in front of whoever's reading this, if anyone.
I would encourage you to find some physical fitness activity or sport that you enjoy instead of sitting and watching movies. Get out and do something that makes you feel good. If I could jump through this screen, I would give you a hug and genuinely be a friend, but I can't do that. So, just know there are people who care.
You never know when people show up in your life who might stay for a moment, a season, or a lifetime. Dont let your brain trick you into believing things wont change; the brain only has the past experiences, it wants to protect you from hurt. So it can trick you in meeting new people and putting yourself out there. Hope this helps❤
I'm so sorry. I know how you feel, while not exactly the same way because everyone goes through life differently, but I too just wish I had someone to share happy and sad moments with. While well-intentioned, I don't like those comments that go "oh I'll be your friend!!" because most of the time you'll just never talk again, whether it's because you don't click, you forget, or it wasn't genuine. But I do wish you the best and if you want to talk, I'm here (if the RUclips notifications allow me to be lmao).
@@heyitsella117 Thank you so much Ella! I appreciate your comment a whole lot. Its true tho, that is often the case even though I'm really thankful for the intention of most of those comments. I'm sorry you are going through the same struggle, but I know we'll get on top of this. You can do this!
I decluttered my life of anyone who used me when it suited them or didn't bring happiness or value to my life. I went through the loneliness and came out much happier. It's about being happy with yourself. Times like Christmas and bonfire night where people get together can be tough but I get through it by doing special treats for myself like a candle lit bath or chocolates and a film. I have cats with whom I cuddle and they keep me company. I'm not keen on people.
Haven’t had friends since middle school. I had one friend in high school, but he stopped keeping in contact. I told myself I would stop chasing people. I would stop begging them to be in my life. I am working on being with myself. I never had comfort in myself and that is a big reason for my social anxiety. I’m working on building a life outside of my house. If I meet people, then that is awesome. If not, I’m ok with that too.
Middle school friendships are memorable because they're exemplary: kids are so innocent. Then we grow up learning to be selfish, proud, judgemental, critical, ambitious, lustful, gossipy, , and mean.
It's same with me i had a friend she promised me she will come with me and we will study together, but then she didn't came and stoped contacting me so now I am alone.... Also I am away from my family in a place where I don't know anyone.. So it really sucks when u don't hve frnds😭😭😭😭.. I feel really depressed
Lol same being Christian to because I was accused of being homophobic and lost all my friends ik going through the same thing as yiu let’s hope it gets better
@@HopefullyNeko sorry for my english but once i was a fake friend but when im getting older i realized that i want a real friend and i want to be a real for others but it didnt happen because of my personality. When i was a toxic person, im happy but now i want to change it but it makes me sad. I want a real friend not only friend and i think all i need to do is to make social and dont be toxic again. My advice to you maybe you should change your attitude, if you are introvert (like me) you should be socializing your classmates or others and dont be toxic (like me before). Its not late to make friends and when you are making friends make sure it's not fake or dangerous.
There are people who think that someone with no friends must have something wrong with them. Insecure. Awkward. Sad. Depressed. No social skills. Rude. Bossy. Bad friend. That's a very ignorant belief. I respect those with no friends because it can mean they chose to not accept bad friends or fair weather friends, and decided no friends is better than bad friends. I currently don't have close friends. None. I have aquaintances. People you talk to once in a while, but not someone you can call if you lose someone or are heartbroken, or even if you run out of gas or are in the hospital
Yess. My social anxiety started In my body so I covered it up. Then my hair and I wore a hoodie. Then I tried every way to avoid socialization and people would make fun of me for having no friends. Nice to know you're an asshole and have so much privilege. 🧍
@@topcat2033 I must have read it as people with no friends are must have something wrong with them. Insecure. Awkward. Sad. Depressed. No social skills. Rude. Bossy. Bad friend. My apologies Riya. Or I may have been talking about the people who made fun of me for having no friends. Cuz people would constantly egg me on about how I have no friends and say awful things about me that hurt. Either way, would like to update anyone listening, I have friends now. I have one definite friend, and more I can talk to and be comfortable sharing and joking with.
Yeah it really sucks and I hate that word but yeah it really sucks when nobody gives a shit and I want to do is not wake up. I completely devoted my wife to others and did a really good job do you have passed on and have nothing much I mean no I am grateful that I can look and see in here actually still have a roof over my head to have no one to talk to and no one loves you make shit hard and I don’t know how to function anymore. It has gotten to the point that I cannot function and I have been begging people say oh ask for help well that’s a bunch of bullshit I have been begging for help for decades and no I don’t want a bunch of people around me I just would rather have a couple few people I rather have I’d rather not spend 10 days alone in bed without the building to move with nobody even bothering to see if I’m OK and nobody bringing me soup and the only reason to get out of bed is it feed the cat and change his box lol I’m just can’t eat can’t drink And nobody even notices it’s sad I would rather be gracious enough to go but only if I’m going to heaven otherwise I will continue to do what I do which is pathetic until God gives me a new coin I will do what he wants to tell me what to do I don’t know I just I just don’t don’t see any point I know I’m glad I did not successfully commit suicide when I was a teenager I’m glad that I moved to help so many people But I’m done so I don’t know how to help
I turned 28 today. And I have no friends in my life. I’m also an immigrant and my parents are far across the ocean so I’m all by myself. This feeling of loneliness is eating me from inside and I often question what is really wrong with me..
I would say that ...as far as adding value to peoples lives without expecting anything in return...I've done that my entire life. It hasnt really helped me being understood or gaining friends. For the most part, people have used my sense of giving to an extreme and when I stop giving ...they move on.
I experience the same, I try to be nice to people, and it always ends in people taking advantage of that kindness, apparently I always meet selfish people no matter how many people I try with. I myself is not a selfish soul, and can’t understand other peoples mindset, if I know something I do would hurt someone else, then I would never do it deliberately.
Same here. I believe this behaviour has 2 faces like a medal. While on one face it attracts narcissists and selfish people, on the other one it attracts authentic people who misinterpret your "niceness" for weakness or hidden interests. It's not easy but basically everyone should find a balance to not become a people pleaser and a really nice person/people who will probably share with us just a little of our life.
I was about to comment and say the exact same thing. I'm good at caring and making space for others; I rarely, if ever, receive the same. As the video says, I don't expect it back, however, when I've lost a job, home, long term relationship, these "friends" are nowhere to be found. Does one continue with this friendship when it's only one-way? Or does one have respect for oneself and create boundaries, therefore changing that friendship to one of fair-weather acquaintances only?
I think in those cases you should talk to them first if you care (not the begging way of couse). Sometimes when we are down we might not be the easiest people to be around. I've exeprienced this myself during the past year. Sometimes two friends might be facing strong problems at the same time and not be able to be emotionally available to help each other. Not that they want to be mean but it's just a way to deal with problems. One should always do what makes him/her feel at his/her best, and respect oneself (you are the only person you can count on at the end of the day so you must care for yourself first). If they seem to not care after realizing they hurt your feelings then go for your own good. You will find people who is ment to be for you when you least expect it. Stay safe and never loose hope.
@@sasorah6414 Hey, don't throw away your idea of starting a business. Ik it might be hard at first but don't give up. Just create an IG page for your brand and run ads to get customers. Just lemme know when your page is up and I'll try to support you in any way that I can :) It's better to try and fail than to live with the regret of never following your dream.
I understand that. I lost my parents several year ago and don’t speak to my sibling . My partner of nearly two years is wonderful but I don’t have many close friends Probably only say 5 friends I keep in touch with but no one I can just turn up at their place unexpectedly for a coffee
Whenever i tired to add value without anything in return , people backstabbed me ,hated me ,insulted me etc. Whenever i was mean with someone he/she started liking me .People love mean people , people love pain and torture , people are sick these days .
@@GokuBlackPL Dont worry , dont become cold like those people , at least when we die all this pain is going to pay off in the Kingdom of Heaven for eternity . Believe it or not there is another life after death , all these people who have their hearts filled with hate and find joy in doing evil , they will regret every single insult that they ve made in the past to people who treated them well .This life is temporarily it wont be forever , its only 100 years of life and you dont get to know if you are going to live these 100 years , something may happen, accident ,disease etc. and you may die .Belive in Jesus , grow your faith in God and you see that happiness will come .
Hi everybody, I’ve been wanting to share my thoughts on this topic. Look, I’ve followed the advice the guy gave in this video all my life and it’s pretty much ended me up no where. No matter how hard or how little I try, no matter where I go, no matter who I socialize with, it always ends with the same result. All my life, I’ve tried my best to look good, be friendly, welcoming and kind to everyone i meet, have good hygiene and it’s like no matter what I do, I always end up with the same result of having no friends. Everyone always compliments me and say: oh you’re such a nice person, this and that but whenever I try to develop a closer friendship with people they always back off and it always leaves me wondering why. I’ve slowly been starting to realize that it doesn’t matter how much you socialize and try to put yourself out there, if you don’t fit in with society, you will never make friends. And I think that my experiences prove that.
I don’t think I’ve related to something so much. So well put. Of course it’s sad. But it’s just nice to know that I’m not alone. And hey, sometimes I think that people like us, we are just too good for them😂
@@gourit9993 You see, there is so much truth behind your words. I believe that at the end of the day, there is a hidden reason as to why we we can’t connect with others(not through our fault) whether it’s physical or spiritual, there’s always a meaning behind something.
This is my essential sadness as well: whenever I reach out to someone in friendship I can more-or-less count on that person either saying "sorry, I'm busy that day" or just not responding at all. I try not to take it personally - as we all do the same thing at-times - but the cumulative effect of this happening over decades just makes me not want to try anymore. I begin to wonder why so few people have any interest in hanging out with me. I like me and would be flattered by an invitation, so its always disappointing when it's reinforced that I'm the only one who feels that way.
@@jeank8061 Wow, as I read your comment, I never ever thought that I would hear someone else say the same exact thing I have always felt in the back of my head. I totally get where you are coming from and that's exactly why I stopped. At the time, I wrote that comment, having no friends really haunted me as I'm still young. But my life has changed so much since then to the point where I could care less about people wanting to be my friend or not. I got too much to focus on right now, but I just want to end by saying this. You Are a great person and honestly speaking there's probably a reason why this is happening to a select few people like yourself and I. You're destined for greatness and although social rejection can be very hurtful, there's something bigger in store for us!
What you have to be careful with is if you're a generous, giving, caring, supportive person you spend your whole life being used by "takers" and still wind up with no friends, while the "takers", whom you were always there for, move on and are never there for you in return. Then you get bitter because you see them happy and social and you're alone.
Yeah, it can get pretty bad but you have the internet! Imagine life without it? You have the world at your fingertips and you can make miracles happen. You met me through here, didn't you? See what I mean?
It’s very dangerous to add value in other people without anything in return. You will get USED by people as an idiot. Society is cruel. Those who are lonely without friends are usually hypersensitive people. Hypersensitive people are also highly intelligent. In France we call them : High intellectual potential. These people suffer the most. Because ... hard for them to find love or friends. Hard to find a job
😔 i agree because ive experienced it. im not that intelligent though. .. is there any way out of this that leads to happiness and love,good relationships..?
Very interesting comment and a good point. It would be good to have a discussion about this. How can you make friends and add value to each others lives without being used.
There's a fine balance. You need to recognize your own needs and not put yourself last all the time. It's also important to choose the right people to invest in and to avoid narcissists at all costs. Make sure it's people that care about you and your well-being, people capable of being kind and compassionate in turn. Narcissists don't care about people, they merely use them and discard them when they no longer serve a purpose. It's important to watch out for such people.
I have no friends and honestly this is how I like my life . I have two adult children who live away and I have a partner and two dogs . This for me is plenty . I hate social occasions, I don’t like meeting new people and can’t stand idle conversations for the sake of being polite . I enjoy being alone and will always embrace it . We are all different .
What happens if you need to go somewhere for a few days? Call your friends and ask them to look after your cat? Without a social network it's difficult.
I have no friends my life is sad I haven't had a friend in 11 years My life is only for myself when I go out I am very sad when I have no friends .Do I have to chat with people out there or find a group of teenagers to find friends.I watched this video and I remembered that I have no friends forever.I used to be bullied at school with a friend and me Trauma and until now I have no friends It's been 11 years. my life is only on social media but outside of me I just have no friends 😭😭😭😭😭😭Thank you for being so passionate about finding friends out there 😭😭😭😭😭😭
“Loneliness doesn’t come from not having people around - Loneliness comes when the people around you don’t understand who you are on a very deep level.” That one hit hard 🥸 Thank you so much for this video 🙏🏻
Even just being a listener, makes such a difference. I feel very depressed when I try to talk to someone who either doesn't listen at all, or shows impatience. But I feel wonderful when someone shows genuine interest, laughs at my dumb jokes, etc. Well, I can do that for others - listen, and really appreciate what they say, make them feel good about it. A little of that goes a long way too.
Loneliness is no longer about being an outcast or misfit, it’s about being unique and being and individual. The more of a sheep you are, the more “friends” (fake) you will have.
This right here, so so accurate! I don’t want to write a long reply and even though it’s a late reply, I just wanted to say that this is something I’ve realized as I started to get older. I’m 18 and I’m so different from the other kids my age . It’s because I choose to follow my own path and do what makes me happy, that’s the reason why I have no friends. One thing I’ve noticed right is that it’s always the people who are just like everyone else that have the most friends, they’re literally all the same and I always ask myself how is it that all these people are into the same thing? Well it’s because they’re not, most of them are putting on a fake act jjst to please others so that they won’t end up alone. Everytime I have asked people for help, they always try to put it on me saying things like: “oh you don’t socialize enough”, “you’re not giving it time”, etc. I eventually just ended up realizing that this is more of a external problem, than an internal. Because at the end of the day, we can’t really control other peoples actions so if you’re having a hard time making friends like I am, just remember that it’s not your fault
I remember being a social butterfly with so many friends parties everything. Here i am now with no one at the age of 28 with only my parents to go out with and maybe some coworkers. Work keeps me alive otherwise i would have become really depressed even more than now… it sucks and it will probably last for a lot years
A word of advice: if you feel alone and currently struggling with making friends/ finding a partner, surround yourself with the great minds of the past (and present). That will expand your horizons, bring a sense of connection to your life and it will keep you grounded.
how? maybe it would happend that if I don't live with my mom, but due to the pandemic I have no job and the other day I talked about my literary chronicle in wich my mom told me seeks a husband, because I'm single and, and I answered that comes alone without finding and also I not necesary gonna marry with my next boyfriend and she said you need to seeks because you need to hang out, and then I realized she said that because she knows I have no friends and thats sad.
"Add value to other people's lives" is bad advice for people who have no boundaries and are already too other-focused. Think of an adult whose socialization was destroyed by a drunk bitter parent. He/she has no friends because he gives too much and can't navigate the complicated turns of proper social engagement.
Agree. I think his video is very bad advice. I spent my entire life helping and supporting other people. I've lost valuable time, thousands of dollars etc. It's horrible.
I moved to a new state, no one talks to me at school, they don’t try to be my friend they already have their friend groups. I’ve always been a loner but I guess I didn’t realize that I wasn’t that lonely I had my cousin and a great friend. I think I took then for granted, Cause now I’m in middle school all alone with very awkward social skills. To the 1% of people who read this: Thank you
I am 58 & never had any friends through choice. I’ve never cultivated any friendships as I find the effort of socialising stifling & tiresome. As a mature person I’ve found after all these years that friendships are not worth the time & effort. People in general usual befriend you because they find you useful to them in one form or another. I actually think that folk who make their own lives miserable with the constant longing for friends are lacking in independence & self love. Be your own best friend, rely on yourself & immerse yourself in your own passions, these three things are the key to a contented & successful life.
Love this. I'm 36 and literally have never had friends. I've have acquaintances and coworkers, but I literally never had friends and didn't really care much to. I was never the party/club person. Most of the drama and grief in my life have come from family, the one place where you'd think you'd get love and support. I've spent years helping/supporting family and have been used, taken advantage of, disrespected, sabotaged and backstabbed. For once in my life, I put myself first.
I made the mistake of thinking that my co-workers were friends...not my best decision! If they think it will advance their careers, they will throw you under the proverbial bus. I have always been a loner and my life experience has only reaffirmed my philosophy and outlook on life.
I’ve lost all motivation and interest in life at age 30 and I’ve been trying to study and find out what’s wrong with me and I your video popped up….. Justin Kyle Brown was the name of my best friend all through k-12th grade and into our early 20s until he was killed in a car accident so I took that as a sign to watch. I’m glad I did, God bless you Justin Brown.
Thank you for posting this video. This is one of those topics that seems to be avoided by most influencers. In my mid-fifties, I don't seem to have friends at all and I am not necessarily bothered by it, because I'm sure that eventually, that will change, but I do think about it and sometimes it depresses me. I am grateful that you posted this video, because not only does it bring me hope, but it gives me things that I can do to change it. THANK YOU!
Thanks so much Avery. I feel that when videos are created about not having friends, it focuses on how to have friends, rather than embracing not having friends and using it to our advantage. I think when we embrace it then things do start to change, but in roundabout ways.
I feel like you are a more advanced version of me, lol. Loneliness is a huge problem in modern society. England has a Minister of Loneliness because it's a growing problem. We live isolated lives. Thanks for the videos I will try these tips.
I just got backstabbed by my group of friends that I’ve known for 5 years and they were really the only people rather than my parents who really grounded me
@@multicreativeartist6579 I’ve forgiven them because I was going through something but they just kicked me out of a group chat for a more simplified story
When I decided to try spirituality, I felt full and happy and stayed away from toxic relations. I also built my own castle of happiness through helping strangers, and loving relatives.
I live in Melbourne also.This Video made me cry. I have Chronic Depression. I've had it since I was 8 years old & will have it for the rest of my life. I also suffer from mild anxiety & mild ocd. I also have a disability & am in a wheelchair. I haven't always been in a wheelchair. But I find people tend to treat you differently. I always feel like I'm in the way. I used to do alot of community work when I was younger as I didn't have friends at school. But when it was time to leave I felt so lonely. I've always felt not good enough. Nothing in my life has happened how I thought it would - I am in my 40's & single with no children. By now I thought I'd be married with 3 children. It makes it harder as all my siblings have been married & have kids of their own. I feel different. I've always longed to have friends & do what I see others doing, now I've just isolated myself. My heart has been broken enough, I couldn't cope with it happening again. People are so quick to judge you by what they see. If they only got to know me they would find a nice person underneath. I feel very self concious going out by myself. I feel like people are saying - look at her, she mustn't have any friends. I love my nephews alot. I like doing stuff with them but can't afford a car to take them to the places I'd like. I have a almost 1 year old great niece, but she doesn't live in Victoria. There are places I'd like to go, but there places you need to go with other people who like the same things. I want to to things with others besides my aged mother. I don't really like or enjoy my life. Sometime I wonder why I'm on this earth. I don't feel like people understand me.
I put my hands up and pray for you. I have bipolar disorder and mild depression. I have been disappointed and hurt myself but still holding on. Sometimes I wish that universe just sucked me into void.
I pray that you will receive the love of God, and offer yourself in service to your community so that you may be blessed by giving to others. You are never alone, God is love and He loves you as He made you exactly how you were intended to be. As for the chronic depression/anxiety, I have dealt with this too. I highly recommend focusing on diet, and gut health. Cutting out dairy and rectifying my diet, taking probiotics and supplements helped my mental health tremendously. Many have also seen healing using these techniques. Also your prayers are heard so when you feel alone, try speaking with God, you will be heard. Sending you love and wishing the best for you 🙏
yup - go where you want, when and do what you want. hobbies can be spread all over the house and not put away until they are completed. no trashy tv. no one taking the mick. eat when you want to - none of this 3 meals a day and other semi autistic routines. no bickering!
I’ve actually found that in doing step 1, I play the role of supporter, helper, favor do-Er and when I am not available to help that friend, they get upset and cast me aside. They didn’t like me, they only liked what I did for them. It made me feel even more lonely.
Hey Diesel Jimmie, sorry you're going through all of this but just hang in there, tomorrow can bring wonderful things. You just never know, hopefully it will get better for you. Just letting you know people do care...
Thank you for this. I’m in one of the most lonely times in my life and it is tough. I have good days and bad. I am trying to make the best of not having anyone at all I’m trying to learn from it but at the same time really would just like to be able to give love and be loved.
@@Bajarangbal If u people love to stay lonely then stay thatway.It is fun to have friends and all.When I was in school I thought that friendship would ruin my dtudies.So I stayed away from all.When I get to clg I found the vibe there.And I am sad that I can not socialize me much
Growing up my mom never allowed us to have a lot of free time, I remember feeling miserable when seeing my peers with friends, playing , spending time together. All we did with my sister was go to school, read, cook and go to church. Today I would like to thank her because that was in actual fact good training. When I’m alone I’m most peaceful and don’t feel like I’m missing out on something. I keep few quality friends and don’t need a lot of people for approval or validation, I’m just content and comfortable in my space.
I had friends until the pandemic hit, but most were through my career and I've recently retired, so no longer see them. I have 2 friends that I see, but not often and I am lonely. I lost my husband to cancer 4 years ago and lost many "couple" friends following that. I raised my children to be strong, self assured and independent. I guess I did a good job, because they are independent, living their lives and I'm rarely included in their outings. (who wants mom there anyway). It's hard not to feel self pity. In the past I have been described as "too nice" and allow people to take advantage of me. Since my career was a HUGE part of my purpose, I don't know what to do now.
As a male when my partner died it took away a lot of my social life as I think women are more social than men and I socialised because of her. Spend you time travelling , seeing and doing new things embrace dining alone in a restaurant focus enjoying life and you will feel less alone .
I have been around countless so called friends and girlfriends all my life living in the city. And now I live alone out in the country. And I am so happy being by myself!
No one talks about the deep physical pain that comes with the loneliness. It hurts so bad, I have no one to talk to or hang out with. I often feel like I just don’t want to be here anymore.
I'm an American living abroad so my feeling of isolation is tenfold. I look different, talk different and I am different. I struggled with this for years but now I'm okay. This is why I never see social media as some kind of evil thing I have to banish from my life. RUclips is social media after all, and this video helped me. Thank you great channel
Its an interesting thing. As an introvert I recharge by being alone. People drain my energy, it's exhausting. The other side of the coin is not investing enough into friendships because of fear. See, if you had bad experiences with friends with loyalty and trust and you are an introvert, it's almost impossible to make new ones. Being a man, no one wants to hear you complain, it looks weak, not even your wife or parents want to hear it. I sometimes miss being able to tell someone something without being judged, just an ear, understanding.
I do that all the time and it doesn't fill my heart with joy and peace. It's only an escape. Sometimes a lonely walk can make me sad. Nature looks beautiful from a distance but close to it you see the decay. The trees also struggle to survive.
@@jerryhall5709 if you interpret nature through your feelings she may look like your feelings. If you let her in by giving her more and more space, the feelings of sadness will diminish. Try to find a place in nature which is harmonious and calm.
As I've gotten older, friendships are very tenuous and my patience for 'nonsense' less tolerable. Covid in my State forced people to their knees and high unemployment. 3 years is a long time and the aftermath is everywhere. Looking after yourself is no 1 and your partner. In hindsight everyone is very affected by the world chaos, their lives disrupted, and I think much more cautious about everything. Taking one day at a time is my pathway to peace and being kind to yourself.
I feel like I did this to myself. In elementary school, my parents forced me to take school way to seriously and what ended up happening is that I started valuing school over my other peers. In middle school, I had maybe 1 or 2 friends at this point, but they both left school. I eventually lost contact with them and still haven’t heard from them since. I became the loner in school. Now I’m in high school. I tried talking more and tried to meet new people by playing sports, but I ended up feeling more lonely. Every girl I liked never even saw me or knew I existed. Everyone goes to the mall with their friends while I’m at home doing nothing. It really sucks and because of this I get depressed whenever I’m at a dance (or in any social situation) and I’m just standing there all alone. All this time, I’m still taking school way too seriously just like in elementary and middle school, though it’s because it’s basically all I have now. I tried convincing my parents to go to a different school so I could at least meet one or two new people, but of course they wouldn’t let me. I’ve been going to the same school now since pre school and I just want a fresh start and to renew my reputation. Especially since I started to get bullied. I told my parents about it and they literally just said to tough it out and wait until graduation. Edit: the reason I wrote this is because I just got a painful reminder of this when I had to write an essay on my befriend(I don’t have one) in French
I moved to new place for college.. I've been trying to be a nice person always trying to make some real friends, but this people are so different ... Some of them come talk to me, but u realize deep down if ur friend is real or not ... I just always wished I could go back where I had real friends.. BUT, I started to realize having no friends is a good thing too, I started focusing on my study's, I started working out ... Whenever I felt sad *I* *JUST* *LISTEN* *TO* *SOME**MUSIC*... ALL I LEARNED FROM BEING ALONE " *FOCUS* *ON* *YOURSELF* " " *IT'S* *BETTER* *TO* *HAVE* *NO* *FRIENDS* , *THAN* *HAVING* *FAKE* *FRIENDS* " " *GET* *SUCCESSFUL* " And I know one day people are gonna regret on not being my friend *WHOEVER* *U* *ARE* *DON'T* *GIVE* *UP* *BUILD* *YOURSELF* *BETTER* Take care!
I also have only 1 friend who lives really far away from my house. I was feeling very lonely, but then I thought to myself "what's the use of having friends? Most of the friends are unhelpful and useless. I can struggle myself to put the rail lines back on the track" only this one thought gave me a motivation to stop feeling lonely. But still, Thanks for making this video.
I've been alone for a couple of years, i choose to be alone because i have goals and I'm really focus on it and i don't want distractions. In my experience it's so difficult to be alone but i said to myself it's gonna be easy for me to make friends if i achieve my goals first and thankfully i didn't regret to chose to be alone because i discovered and realized a lot of things as i also went through a lot of pain and insecurities but i told myself it's gonna be worth it. I'm now focusing on things that matters to me, continuously improving and developing myself. This video is so helpful for us especially to those going through the same. Thankss! ❤🇵🇭
I‘m so sick of people saying „Loneliness isn’t being alone. It’s having people around who don’t understand you.“ Well, princess, it’s even much much more worse when you DON‘T even have anyone. Privileged spoiled people who have no idea of real suffering.
I think you misunderstood him, youre over-empasizing things. What hes saying is that its okay to live a grumpy life, because im so much better than those people! I love living under a rock with loneliness. Because crying, lying and hurting myself feels good. Then ill show to the social media that "Im one of those vegan people where they say I FEEL SO GOOd eating raw and unpealed carrots that just came from the ground without even washing it because its natural".
You can be around 100 people and if there's no connection well you feel lonely- any way----- so iv found my own peace with just been me and building on what I like in life
Embrace being by yourself, its so good to be who you are and to be able to do things you want to do without anyone bothering you. Iv been alone for many many years and enjoy it because i can enjoy things all by myself, with my pets, with nature and the animals outside, to enjoying music and seeing films, its really not that bad doing things alone. I personally love it, but i know not many feel the same, just do and enjoy things you want to do.
This is really wise advice. I'm turning 50 in a week, single and no kids. I was wishing I could do something special with friends, but realized a lot of my friendships have changed as people have grown, formed families, moved away. So I'm in a period of few close friends, and I've felt a little down about it. But thinking about Purpose is always good, perhaps especially to counter the Midlife Crisis feelings. It doesn't really matter if my birthday comes and goes and nobody notices; I can focus on helping someone else and feel it was a good day, well spent.
The only “friends” I’ve ever had completely threw me away while I’m going through the hardest time I ever have. I’m not enough for anyone and I hate myself so much for it
This is EXACTLY what I was going through. After making the effort of socialising, I then felt in a rut of self-thinking that in resulted in some kind of narcissism. And I really didn’t like that. Thank you for your message, I really thought that I was alone in this but apparently not.
This topic resonates with me very loudly at the moment. I often feel lonely and sometimes find myself saying (to myself) "I'm sick of giving...give, give, give, give!!" I will have to re-watch this video a few times I think, just to try and get the most out of it! PS: I'm sorry you have experienced the "fake friends" thing and I thank you profusely for sharing your journey and subsequent knowledge.
I am 47 year old female, my husband left me, I live on the Gold Coast and I have no friends or children. I have an accent, lived in different countries and I have many interests and hobbies. I am used to spending time by myself, although it would be nice to go sometimes with someone for a coffee or walk.
I've been hurt and backstabbed so many times, abandoned, lied to and abused. I overcame addictions and quit making bad choices but at the end of it all, I'm alone. I know I should start trying to make new friendships but I don't know where to start. I'm 46 now and afraid I'll be alone forever.
i feel very comfortable in this comment section so i’m just gonna let out my feelings, i am part of a friend group, but they are all close to one other person in the group, and i’m just the odd one out. i don’t even speak with them because i’m never given the time to talk when we are together. and during lockdown i had not spoken to any of them and got really close to an online friend and just let myself completely rely on her and now she’s replaced me. Now i’m back at school, the fact i see everyone going out and doing fun things with their friends really makes me upset knowing i will never experience that. my only friend is my sister and she will be leaving for university soon. i will have nobody to talk to leaving me in an even worse state than what i’m in now. i used to be great at meeting people but now i always feel so tense and vulnerable.
Hey, idk. I did the same. I relied on someone 'Online'.I was happy for onc but, eventually without any explanations laid out..I was unfriended and blocked. I kept questioning myself 'why'? Where did I go wrong?. But, now slowly and gradually I've accepted the fact that no one. I repeat 'NO ONE' would like to talk to me and I'm fine with that. I keep my mind busy in reading and yeah, Idk what to say else.
im in the exact same situation... being part of a friend group but not really at the same time as they all each have their own closest/best friend, while you don't. they almost never text you until you try to engage them first, but even then, they don't say a lot and are always dry. perhaps we can all try being friends through our socials? I'm 15 by the way if that even matters.
When I was younger, I used to feel utterly alone. Later, as I learned to relate to everything as myself, I learned to feel whole everywhere I go. I had to go through a mind changing experience to be capable to see everything and everyone as myself. I am no longer alone.
Thanks for all of the comments below. There are so many that I decided to go a little deeper on the subject of not having friends with this video: ruclips.net/video/ElFfSGeiXqo/видео.html And this new video with an important message to anyone feeling lonely: ruclips.net/video/wiJq8B2EtXU/видео.html
I am a happy loner...and I would highly recommend the book The Highly Sensitive Person...which is 10% of the population, and it really helped me to embrace and accept the person I am.
Great video. It's so very easy to fall into "narcissistic" behavior when you're alone too long. Focusing on yourself too much can lead to bad things mentally and physically. Thank you for the insight, I plan on using it.
Almost 2 years old now but what a profound gem. Thanks for sharing your experience, Justin. You've dissected your journey into simple actionable items. The fact that it's a journey that seems to be shared by countless others, including myself lends a lot of credence to your suggested actions. I think it's funny that there are so many of us around with these "elevated" and self-important thoughts, of which would have immense value to people that are more than likely, walking among us, thinking the same things, but we pass each other silently like ships in the night. Cheers, my friend, looking forward to seeing more content from you.
The worst mistake that I ever did was when I was a teenager back in 1986 was make friends. I was the kind of kid who would meet one person who would be my friend and then introduce that person to another person who would be my friend and then and so on and then the next thing I know it turned out to be a big problem because I would have friends who were guys and girls and then the next mistakes that I made was I told everyone of my friends about my life and the kind of family that I came from and it ruined me by them using all of that against me. And then the only time they would want me to hangout with them was if I’d loan them money ( In which I’d never get back) or watch there dog for them when they were on vacation with there families or help them move there furniture to there next apartment. And then I put up with the introverts who I would used to hangout with and they would never say a word about anything of any subject or anyone that they knew or even anything about themselves. Then I had to put up with the guys fighting over getting that one girl who I would try to get to be my girlfriend. And then they would bring there problems and there drama into my life and then they would make me depressed. In the old days when we did didn’t have any technology we had to call our friends by using our home phones or just ring there bell or knock on there door when we wanted hangout together. Now thanks to technology, everyone just texts or calls on there cellphones and now I just block there cell phone number and they get the hint to just leave me alone. Trust me, you don’t need any friends, there nothing but trouble. I’m more happier being by myself. Just stay home and read a good book or learn to get into a new hobby.
Hey Anthony, your story resonates with me a lot. Same 1986 time frame, same issue/struggle with making and keeping friends. I did go on to have a large group of friends, but they were different groups and none of those people fused together becuase I was there friend, they weren't mine! Sadly, I just have 1 or 2 people in my life these days and still they are separate. Life sure is a funny enigma. Try to enjoy and take pleasure from your own company my friend. All the best.
That depends on how you define "friends". Some people call you a friend because you got along for t seconds. Me, a friend is someone I spend years building a trust relationship with, and they are far and few between. The value in friends is the quality of people, not the quantity of people you know.
I have went out of my way to help people just to help them, and they just either crap on you or forget your existence, trust me I'm done with people. My 3 step process is simpler,1. Don't care 2. Workout 3. Read. Life is too short to to waste on the social paradigm. Ninety turns around the sun if you're lucky, and isn't that many turns around the sun. I am alone, not lonely, big difference, people push the whole social currency as a major thing, in my life it's not.
Don't give up on helping people. I understand the frustration of them not meeting you halfway. I've shown myself friendly by offering my number and it's seems like I was doing most of the work by reaching out. Despite all of that, I will continue to be open to meeting new people.
@@loveinautumn3978 not my thing, thanks for the advice but for me personally I'm done with people, like I said I am alone, I am not lonely, life is less complicated and less tedious without having to play the social paradigm game. Solitude for me allows introspection so I don't feel concerned with dealing with peoples bs anymore, life is way too short for that, chasing something that is not for me is a pursuit of trying to make a illusion gain a physical form, not my thing. Thanks none the less, but like I said not my thing anymore.
I learnt who my real friends are long ago.......... I have no friends but life is beautiful with my loyal dog. Ever since getting over my tragic events I have never needed to be close to any human. Tragedy and being alone is life enhancing. X
Lonely and happy. My purpose was self ìmprovement. I went diving, climbing, travelling, playing guitars and drums, and having friends and women turn down my invitations. You did me a favour😂 a day out snowboarding alone is not as good as with friends but better than not going at all. So go ahead and do your thing regardless
You are better off by yourself, you get more done, & do what you want to when you want to do it, I've been alone for 35 years now & every time I try to help people, I just end up getting into more trouble for using my kind heart, so being an introvert is better 😂
This may be true for some people, but not for me. For decades, I always helped others when they asked for help. VERY RARELY did I ever get help when I needed it. I always got excuses instead. I would loan things out to help who I thought were friends, never to be returned or returned broken and not replaced. Being taken advantage of and used most of my life just for being kind to people. Now, getting close to 70, nothing has changed except I have grown to NOT trust people anymore for the last 10 years or so. So tired of being that nice, generous Guy that gets screwed over by this ever growing selfish, inconsiderate and very ungrateful society. I no longer want any friends in my life, because honesty and old fashioned values seemed to have disappeared.
I'm a 57 year old male. In the last two years I've lost my two closest friends who passed away and another friend that moved far away. My mother who I've always been close to call my has come down with dementia and is now in a nursing home. I feel like I've totally lost my sense of identity as well as certain securities with people that I've shared most of my life with. Since the pandemic has hit, my isolation has increased significantly since I can no longer go out to music venues and concerts as I had done frequently and have increasingly become despondent and disheartened about living. I see you're living now more than I ever have in my life and my sense of security has totally disappeared. I had quit smoking and recently returned to it as it seems to have being the only long-term companion that I still can turn to a crazy as that might sound. Everyday is a struggle just wanting to keep going and I feel very heavy and mentally and physically exhausted
:( I'm so sorry for your loss and everything you're having to deal with, Steve. I know things are probably looking like they won't get better from here, but, just try and keep your head up. I know it's difficult, but the universe can really surprise you with what happens when you decide to keep going despite everything. After all, it can't rain forever, you know. I don't know you at all, and you don't know me either, but please, stay safe and take care out there. If you ever feel lonely or like no one cares about you, know that I, while I might seem like nothing but another random person on the internet, do care for you, and pray that you get better. Keep trying, eventually, it'll all work out and be worth it in the end :) I hope you have a good rest of the day/night, and good luck with everything that you're going through. It'll get better eventually, I'm sure of it.
I'm in a similar situation, except I'm living with my parents so they can still have their house. They're 85, mom has Alzheimer's, dad's pretty much ok, but it's not safe for them to be in the house alone - if something happened to my dad, my mom wouldn't even know how to use the phone. I'm single, no kids, and I do have friends, but most are married w kids and very involved in all that. I feel like I'm trapped. I'm the only sibling who can live here, and if I leave, that will be the end of my dad's independence because they would have to move to some sort of assisted living. I'm glad my dad can be in his hard-earned castle. He and my mom worked hard to give their six kids a good life. But it's like my life is on hold. So I see my friends very infrequently, don't date, work from home, and am burning out. My confidence to meet new people is nil because I feel a lot of shame about my life. I feel like my life is closing in on me. I never in a million years would have imagined this is how my life would be.
Smoking really resonates with me! I would say to myself, it’s there to comfort me when everyone around me could care less! There is a physical release of dopamine type neurotransmitters when you smoke. In a social situation that only made me feel MORE alone as an individual, I’d separate myself and have a ciggy. My “time out “ for mental health. Finally after two hospitalizations for pneumonia, I was able to quit. I wanted to live because I love my grandchildren. I’m so truly sorry for your suffering. I realize that some of us, are alone for most of our lives, even in marriage! All I can say is that I’ve drawn closer to Christ (He will NEVER abandon you), and I realized that I don’t have friends because I am too intense, too passionate, too honest. People want people who are shallow, will agree with them and generally avoid the big discourse. I get that. People like me, are pretty rare, so it’s hard to find a friend…. I’ve finally stopped trying. I focus on being kind to those around me (without being a doormat!), and developing and pursuing endeavors that are meaningful to me. There’s a reason a lot of us don’t “fit in” and maybe it’s because we’re just uncomfortably deep. So be it! My cats love and trust me… my grandchildren adore me…GOD loves me, and even though I am disabled and in pain now, I know that all this suffering is preparing me for my eternal home. People who have not suffered and who deliberately AVOID suffering, are often the most uncaring and mean people I’ve met. Let your suffering be joining in the cross of Christ! Give it the true meaning it deserves, and press on! Finish the race with Courage and Grace. Peace to you. You are not alone.
I did I tried this. I have been lonely and depressed for such a long time and be through a lot of terrible stuff. There is a lot of anger inside of me. But instead of did something crazy I was trying to find something meaningful to do to bring value to society and purpose to my life. I find a job at out of school care to working with children. Becasue I find to bring a positive lifelong influence during the child‘s critical development age is such a critical thing to do. And to my surprise, there were three children really liked and connect with and I was being able to understand them really deeply and most importantly make them feel happy and good about themselves. There were a lot of other children who liked me too. There were yelling my name when I come to work one day. I played with them keep them active and let them jump on top of me to give them and me a good time. The first boy run to me and hugged me twice. The second one asks me if I want to go to his home. And guess what in the first place one of the girls that boss really trust got jealous of me because the kids like me the most are the boss’s son and it used to be her. So she did complain a lot about the things I did like I got on the rooftop to help children get the ball down to be a positive male role model and that I let the kids roughhousing with me because on the internet it says roughhousing is great for kids development and the children loved it. She told a manager and my boss that there is something weird going on between me and the kids. In the end, made the boss fired me because I am only a playmate not an adult leader of the children. And this is an out of school care where we do not even have any teaching to do. In the second place, the lady who is second in charge saw the unhappy face I have when she says the children stand on the mat and swing with rope is dangerous because it is too high and got pissed at me start to treat me like shit. Then one day I let the children play outside barefoot which there is also a paragraph that says that it is good for the kids then she fired me. Then the last place where I was so cautioned not get into trouble and lost all the creativity I have in my previous job. In the beginning, everything is fine that all of my coworkers lift me up and support me. Then when the original coworker quit they got this old lady who is the owner and centre manager‘s friend in everything changed. She hates me for no reason. In the beginning, I do not even know it was her I just felt that the manager used to give me a lot of space and trust me that even let me close the place and stay with the children alone start to not liked and changed in attitude. Then the things become obvious and obvious that she will do everything she can to sabotage me and make me looked bad. The manager left her in charge and the kids don’t listen to her then she blames everything on me that the manager doesn't let me run the gym and play with the kids the way I used to play with them which the kids really enjoyed because it caused too much trouble. I was told to and organized things in a way I completely not good at and obviously, the kids didn‘t listen to me and now even the big boss is here that everyone thinks I am bad at my job. I am being sent to work with her in the small kids' room because I can not handle the big kids when almost all of the kids liked me. She keeps sending me back without notice the manager makes me looked at I go back myself. And I was excluded from all of the job and teamwork that even the newly hired have more responsibilities than me because I am not good enough. The kids do not listen to her because she is not good at this job and she throws all of the trouble to me and lets me handle it and then of course see he is not good at this job. She told me to stand at the door of the boy bathroom in the school and did not noticing me when there are no kids are coming make me look like an idiot. She blames the fault that she and coworker make that lost a kid in their care to me which I was assigned to another duty and have nothing to do with it. When the gym time is over she comes in and tells kids it is snack time and makes every kid and including herself out of the gym and only left me in there with a mess nobody cleaning. Then she made a report to my manager that I never let the kids clean after themselves and do it myself all the time. Which is straight-up lying I always make the kids clean after themselves in the gym use my motivation style until she comes and makes it really hard for me and only this time. I was measure with a high-temperature one with one thermometer the manager want to double-check with the one in the other room she did it for me we both saw it was normal temperature and I overheard their conversation that she told the manager she measures my temp it is just as bad which it is straight-up lying. When saw a girl who gets along with me really well sitting there lonely I go sit down beside her to have a conversation with her she told me to stand up and walk around. Then she starts to exclude me from the team and let me do the pick along with her and my coworker while they work as a team. To make it worth she starts to give me the that is not in the same class and the kids I am not normally pick up with without noticing me. And the kids came out at the door she normally at so she knows it very well just to get me lost kids to get into trouble. She keeps asking me to do things in a tone that is like she has been asked me so many times that make me looked like a bad worker in fact those are the first times she asked me. And the list of the things she did goes on and on I know that it is time for me to start defending myself. I mentioned picking up a list in front of her and the manager then defend myself after she asks me to do things in a ridiculous tone when she asks me for the first time. And guess what the manager let me go for me defending myself and told me that I am not good for the job that kids do not listen to me and that I have been here long enough that I should know better without her even ask me. I am not even allowed to visit when I did nothing wrong. I did want to visit because I made a mistake with the children I understand the most that I ignored him purposely after he looked at me in a not hateful way one time then he is really sensitive and thought I did not like him. I regret right after that and did not want to leave them having him thinking I do not like him as a person that is not good for his development. I want to make him feel good about himself. No, I guess I am not allowed to visit so I was angry and raged on the internet. Then instead of trying to understanding me and comfort me people take the trash to me. Now every place in town would not hired even the there is non-profit care would not even accepting for a volunteer like I did something wrong like I am a criminal. In fact, I gave those children a really good time and at the last place on the last day, almost all of the kids surrounded me and hugged me even pushed me on the ground. This is a job and things that really make me feels sense of purpose and make me feel not lonely because I genuinely wanting to help those kids without anything in return. And I did find children that I really understand them and they also really understand me and simply liked me for who I am. Now I can not see them again and no other place would accept me for simply trying to do good things fit in the society and bring positive value to others and to those children which I did. I make them happy. And for those few kids that have a person who really understand them to help them grow is a really good thing for their development for I can not help them anymore. I tried it now I only got more rejection and more loneness and painful memory. I do not know what to do now I did a good thing to others and now got treated like the plague. This not supposed to be in a storybook. And most importantly I am lonely again.
Can we just stop pretending to be happy introverts, I'd like to just wallow in self-pity for once without there being a "solution" I just wanna allow myself to be vulnerable for once
I am at the point where I just call people acquaintances. All my friendships in my 38 years have grown and 90% of those have burned away. I learned to pickup up more hobbies like wood and metal working in my shop, getting into history/studies/topics more, and exercising. Besides my family/wife & kids.. I just don't have it in me to get to close to someone outside of my boxed life.. for reasons that the friendship will eventually and most likely fade anyway. I am good and I get a little lonely once and a while and I just fill that space with something that can better myself mentally or physically. I hope this helps anyone having a hard time adjusting.. it is okay to let go more or entirely and focus more on yourself.
I agree. Sounds like we’ve been through the same things. I was so drained off and on (I’m almost 61) from friends that now I just don’t want any. I can’t take fake people and I hate liars. My husband is my best friend. So I’m thankful and so grateful for him.
Moving from NYC where my family and friends are to another city at first was ok. As time when on especially the summer time I began to feel lonely and depressed. It doesn't feel good when you truly truly have no one. It's painful and extremely boring every single day. It hurts!
I had friends or who "i thought" were friends but ended up not. I've been a loner all my life basically and i attribute most of that to my mental health challenges. Having bi polar disorder, social anxiety & ocd. Most folks just can't deal i guess with my issues and bail. Ironically though i'm usually always there when i do make a friend or two. To listen to there problems and be there for them. So i do feel that i make a good friend in that regard. However, after being burned countless times your mind starts telling you your better off alone. You really have no positive experiences to reflect on that can help you overcome your loneliness and push forward in a social manner. I've been that guy on the beach countless times that this guy talked about in the beginning of the video. Often seeing others enjoying themselves while i feel the tears streaming down my face wondering what it must feel like to be accepted, having fun, and have friends in your life. However, them my mind goes back to being burnt and that other half of my brain says don't bother. When your dealing with mental illness as i have it makes it all the harder to motivate yourself to try new things and especially new social situations. Sometimes we need that person who can take you by the hand so to speak and motivate you to just try before you pre-judge a situation and not bother. But when you don't have that falling into a reclusive state often happens more times than not. For me a lot of it is "fear based" as to what people think of me and will i be accepted. My mind gets flooded with bad thoughts of being ridiculed or judged right from the onset of trying something new. To the point i don't bother. It's a vicious cycle that can be VERY difficult to break. And while i know the good lord didn't put us here to live our lives alone. That doesn't make it any easier either. Granted i see a therapist every week and i'm on medication for my problems. And luckily have a great companion dog who truly is my best friend far more than any human could ever be. But your life is still lacking that social stimulation that it needs. It gets to a point where you resolve yourself that you'll never find that special someone to settle down with much less friends. However, i keep trying as hard as it is because i know i have to. Otherwise, the reclusiveness can become so bad it's crippling. If only there was an easier way but then again life isn't easy now is it. God bless to those who are struggling with this or any other mental health problems.
It hurts the most is when every weekend becomes the loneliest days, not having a frnd to spend the time and try calling people to connect but they already have a plan ...that just the worst of all
That is so me and it would shock people to know I am pretty alone. It doesn't seem like it, but I have a hard time finding 1-2 people to consistently hang with me
Nah. No friends for me! Introvert! I am extremely happy with being a mom, a musician, working full time etc. I love being by myself. I can feel the unwell feeling rise in my throat when I am around with ppl too much. I am unique, very confidant and I love myself and other then my family I hate ppl in general. Idc what anyone thinks. This works for me!
"Loneliness doesn’t come from not having people around - Loneliness comes when the people around you don’t understand who you are on a very deep level" I felt that
Yeah they just don’t know ME they know version of me I created for them
I like this percpective
U are right these is my situation 😔
Re:Don’t understand who you are. I totally agree with with what you’ve said there, because it’s more their perception of who they think you are without actually knowing you.
When I moved to a place where no one knew me, it didn’t find it daunting because I saw it as a fresh start. The environment was lovely, air fresh & green, if you know what I mean! I had a plan to integrate using my homemade scientifically formulated skincare & approached salons in my locality…great idea i thought. I did that & one salon said due to my professional background the person I spoke to was very keen & had to speak to her business colleague, which she did & the answer was no. I didn’t stop & kept going & approached all 4 salons with my 100% natural anti breakage hairgrowth product, which stops hair breaking & encouraging hair to grow at scalp level.
I gave products away for free making it understood that it needed to be used for a minimum of 3 months, knowing that after using for 1 month they would be pleased with the initial results…. but no. I’m a middle aged woman but looks 10 years younger due to the skincare I create, using a lifetime of experience. I’m so unhappy & depressed that people seem curious about me but don’t want to get to know me. I’m chatty, well presented & told I’m attractive….an inventor! But it’s not enough.
My interest in my purpose in life is waining, I’m single & live alone & hate it! I’ve stopped going out the house weeks at a time because when I do, I speak to no one & no one apart from staff in shops interact with me. God has said I’ve fulfilled my purpose in life by curing hairloss & hairgrowth issues but no one speaks to me on social media when I do posts. I don’t just do this for financial reasons I do this also to make friends by offering something different & useful to both men & women alike, sharing something I love to do & with 35 years luxury skincare experience. I’m based in the United Kingdom 🇬🇧 & craving for change in my life & want to be surrounded by some really decent transparent, good people to have deep meaningful relationships with. I have a good sense of humour in the right company too. Check me out on Instagram Kitxander Like by pressing the ❤️ drop me a line #lonelyheart & I’ll know you’ve seen this message. If all my followers are from here, that’s fine by me because we have to turn this loneliness around somehow & this suffering in silence & ALONE must stop ✋ #kitxanderapothercary #kitxanderhairfoodelixir20
#lonelyheart
#antibreakage
#instant
#thickening
#strengthening
#menandwomen
#thinninghair ?
#hairgrowth
#menopausal ?
#allhairtypes
#scalpcare
#skincare
#antiageing
“I Have No Friends” 😞
#KITXANDER Instagram
#kitxanderapothercary
#share #thankyousomuch
Yeah it's called "corporate" world...
Problem is that most lonely people are empathetic and actually go to lenghs to help people but usually when they need the same people even for a simple thing like talking or sharing your thoughts they hardly show up.
Exactly so we are already naturally trying to be there for me with our own self as a sacrifice
This has been my exact experience. When I was doing well in life I mentored refugees and helped different friends and family members with their rock bottom and crises situations. Those people then went on to do well, succeed and be happy. Now that I am struggling, most of them are no longer around. I've had more kindness from strangers. A kind neighbour I met supported me through two major bereavements after most of my friends had disappeared. Its very frightening to feel so alone and realise most people don't want to know if I am struggling and won't even listen to me after I was like a free therapist to them for years.
@@katec9893 we should create a groupe where we become friends
@@christinec4156 Sorry to hear that. What I am doing is redirecting my own resourcefulness back towards myself. We have the skills and empathy to help others so it's time we looked after ourselves first and foremost. Then in future when we're doing better, we can help others again, but with stronger boundaries, not giving away too much of our time and energy, and being discerning of who we help. I hope things improve for you soon, we can do this.
@@katec9893 thank you honey, much appreciated, boundaries are key, time to introspect & look after myself yet also organically from a healthy place ❤️
The pain is not about having no friends but it's not having anybody to talk with and express your feelings with.
word
Story of My Life.
Exactly!! It's so frustrating not having people in real life who you can be your real authentic self too ): ,I'm apart of the lgbtq+ community so it really hurts that I have to hide. I wish I could be myself and have atleast one genuine friend that likes me.
I feel the same way man. Besides my brother, parents, and maybe a few neighbors, I don't have anyone to talk to say how I really feel inside. I have things bottled up inside because I wasn't taught how to express those feelings effectively and it got so bad years that I was thinking about suicide, even though I would never do such a thing.
I'd often get invited to hangouts with people, but I feel even more lonely than when I'm alone and feel like I'm the odd one out and feel like i don't belong but i pretend to be a little happy. It drains me on the inside.
My question, is, what's the point of life if every time you go out with people, you feel invisible and people just ignore you and that one random guy initiates a conversation that doesn't last more than 5 minutes.
Nick Powers i relate so much!! im alone with my thoughts most of the time and honestly it’s so frustrating and painful to have no friends to talk to about my feelings. so i force myself to hang out with the people in my life. But when I socialize i feel like i don’t belong at all and honestly I end up feeling even lonelier. I just want to find people I can be myself around already bc keeping all my feelings bottled up is literally so exhausting but I don’t really have any other option bc there’s nobody in my life I feel comfortable talking to. It’s comforting to know that im not the only one though haha. And I totally feel you about the suicidal thoughts. Life can feel super exhausting and empty, but we’ll get through it, life will get better with time :)
I liked being alone because I’m an introvert but now it is so painful it hurts. When I see groups of people or families having fun in public I wish I had that
Just become an extrovert, go to peoples houses uninvited and laugh at their face so theyll know how fun you are, then they'll eventually hang out with you
Same.
Same 2
Me too… 😢
@@Advice_Its_okay😂
Trouble is, after a long time without socialising you become set in your ways and it's even harder to make friends.
Very true. It kinda feels like you’re out of place when around new people who wanna make friends with you.
i feel this. after 2 years on my own i feel i don't want open my life, my things and thoughts for anyone.
I'm alone but not lonely. I love peace and quiet. I get along fine with my coworkers and neighbors and also like the time when I keep to myself. It works and it's enough.
@@chrisheller8305that’s how I am.
Yeeeepppp!!! Fuckin nailed that one!
Without true friends everyday life becomes more lonely and depressed.
Same buddy I know the feels
Be the best person you can be. F all that fitting in stuff. Only person that will make you or your life happier is yourself. Look forward not backword. Your better than them. Take care friend ❤ keep your head up
@@yungkub119 thankyou❤️❤️❤️
True friends is the exception not the rule theres few people that have friends
@@yungkub119 thankyou so much🌹
@krs 7
Why can't we all loners create one grp and talk to each other ???
Good idea where Facebook whatsapp?
include me if you do lmao
Good idea
Good idea ..
Yes please
And we shall not discriminate amongst ourselves no matter what our nationality, colour, sexual orientation, religion etc is.
Honestly, I recently tried hanging out with people. It was a nightmare, so much drama and the people were emotionally draining. I came to the conclusion that it’s better to be alone than allow that kind of negativity into my life. Never again.
I find people regardless of if they are friends very draining and I get into a position where I am the one always giving or feeling like I'm not doing enough. I find it exhausting being in groups of friends and yes always drama or so much energy to think of things to say. I'm an empath so equate it to that. Im always Introvert independent and enjoy being alone. People dont understand that so they make assumptions and that puts negativity in the air. God is with us! It can be very confusing making 'friends' as there are expectations and working out social occassions and events. It really drains me so you arent the only one 🙂
Not everyone is like that, Lana. I don't mean to invalidate you.. I know just how hard it is. But sometimes you do meet people where it just clicks.
Very difficult 💜🤗🙏
@@hgzmatt yeah but they are so rare
Take your left over turkey, cold, make a sandwich with stuffing gravy and the most important, cranberry sauce, all on the sandwich.
I'm so sick and tired of being alone. I keep coming back to watch this video, because when I watch it, its like my emotions reflect within me. I want to vent somewhere, to someone. But I can't. So here I am.
I have no friends and I have never had any true friends.
I don't want to waste my youth by sitting cooped up in my flat, watching movies all by my self. Films are my go to when I feel alone, its like dipping my finger inside a Peanut Butter jar, but knowing I will never truly have it. Its the only taste of feeling what relationships could feel like to me. It feels like I have tried everything. Improving social skills, going to a mental health club, talking to a therapist, etc.
None of that helped. NONE.
I need to hold someone. I want hugs. I want to laugh with someone. But I have no one. I want to lay my head on someone's shoulder...but there's no one. I have cried so much about it, I can't even cry anymore. It feels like my life has no meaning.
Is someone out there for me? I keep on hoping...but by each passing year nothing changes. I would do anything for real friendship or companionship at this stage. It feels like I am continually reaching out into an empty void of nothingness.
So thats it. My heart cut and splayed in front of whoever's reading this, if anyone.
I would encourage you to find some physical fitness activity or sport that you enjoy instead of sitting and watching movies. Get out and do something that makes you feel good.
If I could jump through this screen, I would give you a hug and genuinely be a friend, but I can't do that. So, just know there are people who care.
You never know when people show up in your life who might stay for a moment, a season, or a lifetime. Dont let your brain trick you into believing things wont change; the brain only has the past experiences, it wants to protect you from hurt. So it can trick you in meeting new people and putting yourself out there. Hope this helps❤
I hope and pray you will gain a friend.
I'm so sorry. I know how you feel, while not exactly the same way because everyone goes through life differently, but I too just wish I had someone to share happy and sad moments with. While well-intentioned, I don't like those comments that go "oh I'll be your friend!!" because most of the time you'll just never talk again, whether it's because you don't click, you forget, or it wasn't genuine. But I do wish you the best and if you want to talk, I'm here (if the RUclips notifications allow me to be lmao).
@@heyitsella117 Thank you so much Ella! I appreciate your comment a whole lot. Its true tho, that is often the case even though I'm really thankful for the intention of most of those comments. I'm sorry you are going through the same struggle, but I know we'll get on top of this. You can do this!
I decluttered my life of anyone who used me when it suited them or didn't bring happiness or value to my life. I went through the loneliness and came out much happier. It's about being happy with yourself. Times like Christmas and bonfire night where people get together can be tough but I get through it by doing special treats for myself like a candle lit bath or chocolates and a film. I have cats with whom I cuddle and they keep me company. I'm not keen on people.
Me neither
I've spent most of my life alone so I'm pretty much used to having no friends
Dam dude
@@josiahmccarver3441 I'm pretty anti social so it helps lol most people think I'm weird because I love history, science so that doesn't help XD
@@Polski_Kiwi no shame there
Same here
@@hehe9245 can i join the docord??
Haven’t had friends since middle school. I had one friend in high school, but he stopped keeping in contact. I told myself I would stop chasing people. I would stop begging them to be in my life. I am working on being with myself. I never had comfort in myself and that is a big reason for my social anxiety. I’m working on building a life outside of my house. If I meet people, then that is awesome. If not, I’m ok with that too.
@lol everything is gonna be alright, i hope you have a good day, don t forget you are a beautiful person
Middle school friendships are memorable because they're exemplary: kids are so innocent. Then we grow up learning to be selfish, proud, judgemental, critical, ambitious, lustful, gossipy, , and mean.
I agree with you. 🤠👌
It's same with me i had a friend she promised me she will come with me and we will study together, but then she didn't came and stoped contacting me so now I am alone.... Also I am away from my family in a place where I don't know anyone.. So it really sucks when u don't hve frnds😭😭😭😭.. I feel really depressed
@Maria Ceniceros I can honestly tell you that bible reading, obeying it, and talking to God avails me of God's love. I hope you find a friend.
I also have no friends. I have depression n anxiety so its difficult. I would like to have friends tho.
Lol same being Christian to because I was accused of being homophobic and lost all my friends ik going through the same thing as yiu let’s hope it gets better
Me too i want real friends but it's hard to find
I am a introvert I have no friends I’m sad everyone hates me I have fake friends they always bully me I’m depressed
@@HopefullyNeko sorry for my english but once i was a fake friend but when im getting older i realized that i want a real friend and i want to be a real for others but it didnt happen because of my personality. When i was a toxic person, im happy but now i want to change it but it makes me sad. I want a real friend not only friend and i think all i need to do is to make social and dont be toxic again. My advice to you maybe you should change your attitude, if you are introvert (like me) you should be socializing your classmates or others and dont be toxic (like me before). Its not late to make friends and when you are making friends make sure it's not fake or dangerous.
@@HopefullyNeko and watch other videos it will help you, me and others of suffered from being friendless
There are people who think that someone with no friends must have something wrong with them. Insecure. Awkward. Sad. Depressed. No social skills. Rude. Bossy. Bad friend. That's a very ignorant belief.
I respect those with no friends because it can mean they chose to not accept bad friends or fair weather friends, and decided no friends is better than bad friends.
I currently don't have close friends. None. I have aquaintances. People you talk to once in a while, but not someone you can call if you lose someone or are heartbroken, or even if you run out of gas or are in the hospital
Yess. My social anxiety started In my body so I covered it up. Then my hair and I wore a hoodie. Then I tried every way to avoid socialization and people would make fun of me for having no friends. Nice to know you're an asshole and have so much privilege. 🧍
@@manialord1699 whose an aashole? 🤔
@@topcat2033 I must have read it as people with no friends are must have something wrong with them. Insecure. Awkward. Sad. Depressed. No social skills. Rude. Bossy. Bad friend.
My apologies Riya.
Or I may have been talking about the people who made fun of me for having no friends. Cuz people would constantly egg me on about how I have no friends and say awful things about me that hurt.
Either way, would like to update anyone listening, I have friends now. I have one definite friend, and more I can talk to and be comfortable sharing and joking with.
Yeah it really sucks and I hate that word but yeah it really sucks when nobody gives a shit and I want to do is not wake up. I completely devoted my wife to others and did a really good job do you have passed on and have nothing much I mean no I am grateful that I can look and see in here actually still have a roof over my head to have no one to talk to and no one loves you make shit hard and I don’t know how to function anymore. It has gotten to the point that I cannot function and I have been begging people say oh ask for help well that’s a bunch of bullshit I have been begging for help for decades and no I don’t want a bunch of people around me I just would rather have a couple few people I rather have I’d rather not spend 10 days alone in bed without the building to move with nobody even bothering to see if I’m OK and nobody bringing me soup and the only reason to get out of bed is it feed the cat and change his box lol I’m just can’t eat can’t drink And nobody even notices it’s sad I would rather be gracious enough to go but only if I’m going to heaven otherwise I will continue to do what I do which is pathetic until God gives me a new coin I will do what he wants to tell me what to do I don’t know I just I just don’t don’t see any point I know I’m glad I did not successfully commit suicide when I was a teenager I’m glad that I moved to help so many people But I’m done so I don’t know how to help
😂😂
I turned 28 today. And I have no friends in my life. I’m also an immigrant and my parents are far across the ocean so I’m all by myself. This feeling of loneliness is eating me from inside and I often question what is really wrong with me..
Nothing, just got very unlucky
Meh, nothing wrong with you. A lot of times life just happens. Surely there must be a group of your people somewhere that meet up? Know what I mean?
Hello there hope you are alright no friends now family. I am the same if your ever need chat get back to me take care forniw
Hello there hope you are alright no friends now family. I am the same if your ever need chat get back to me take care forniw
Happened the same. Studying abroad, different culture and alone.
I would say that ...as far as adding value to peoples lives without expecting anything in return...I've done that my entire life. It hasnt really helped me being understood or gaining friends. For the most part, people have used my sense of giving to an extreme and when I stop giving ...they move on.
I experience the same, I try to be nice to people, and it always ends in people taking advantage of that kindness, apparently I always meet selfish people no matter how many people I try with.
I myself is not a selfish soul, and can’t understand other peoples mindset, if I know something I do would hurt someone else, then I would never do it deliberately.
Same here. I believe this behaviour has 2 faces like a medal. While on one face it attracts narcissists and selfish people, on the other one it attracts authentic people who misinterpret your "niceness" for weakness or hidden interests. It's not easy but basically everyone should find a balance to not become a people pleaser and a really nice person/people who will probably share with us just a little of our life.
I was about to comment and say the exact same thing. I'm good at caring and making space for others; I rarely, if ever, receive the same. As the video says, I don't expect it back, however, when I've lost a job, home, long term relationship, these "friends" are nowhere to be found. Does one continue with this friendship when it's only one-way? Or does one have respect for oneself and create boundaries, therefore changing that friendship to one of fair-weather acquaintances only?
I think in those cases you should talk to them first if you care (not the begging way of couse). Sometimes when we are down we might not be the easiest people to be around. I've exeprienced this myself during the past year. Sometimes two friends might be facing strong problems at the same time and not be able to be emotionally available to help each other. Not that they want to be mean but it's just a way to deal with problems. One should always do what makes him/her feel at his/her best, and respect oneself (you are the only person you can count on at the end of the day so you must care for yourself first). If they seem to not care after realizing they hurt your feelings then go for your own good. You will find people who is ment to be for you when you least expect it. Stay safe and never loose hope.
Exactly. I wish this video helped me but it didnt...I cut off everyone toxic and now I have no one.
It just hurts extremely when you have no friends, family, or partner. No one to ever talk to or support you…
It truly does. But you have value and purpose just being yourself. I wish the very best for you.
It hurts. I want to start up a business and I have no friends to advertise to, I feel like it will fail if I don’t know anyone
@@sasorah6414 Hey, don't throw away your idea of starting a business. Ik it might be hard at first but don't give up. Just create an IG page for your brand and run ads to get customers. Just lemme know when your page is up and I'll try to support you in any way that I can :) It's better to try and fail than to live with the regret of never following your dream.
I understand that.
I lost my parents several year ago and don’t speak to my sibling . My partner of nearly two years is wonderful but I don’t have many close friends
Probably only say 5 friends I keep in touch with but no one I can just turn up at their place unexpectedly for a coffee
Whenever i tired to add value without anything in return , people backstabbed me ,hated me ,insulted me etc. Whenever i was mean with someone he/she started liking me .People love mean people , people love pain and torture , people are sick these days .
Nope, it's just that being nice is so rare that people think you are being dishonest
@Flor_Us Kpop girl Group X Wjsn Ujung some people have no family nor siblings,you are not lonely
That’s true, but this world is so cruel!!
@@GokuBlackPL Dont worry , dont become cold like those people , at least when we die all this pain is going to pay off in the Kingdom of Heaven for eternity . Believe it or not there is another life after death , all these people who have their hearts filled with hate and find joy in doing evil , they will regret every single insult that they ve made in the past to people who treated them well .This life is temporarily it wont be forever , its only 100 years of life and you dont get to know if you are going to live these 100 years , something may happen, accident ,disease etc. and you may die .Belive in Jesus , grow your faith in God and you see that happiness will come .
Yepp even my family stabbed me in the back, friends treat me as a means to an end..
I’m just a ghost floating through life.
Hi everybody, I’ve been wanting to share my thoughts on this topic. Look, I’ve followed the advice the guy gave in this video all my life and it’s pretty much ended me up no where. No matter how hard or how little I try, no matter where I go, no matter who I socialize with, it always ends with the same result. All my life, I’ve tried my best to look good, be friendly, welcoming and kind to everyone i meet, have good hygiene and it’s like no matter what I do, I always end up with the same result of having no friends. Everyone always compliments me and say: oh you’re such a nice person, this and that but whenever I try to develop a closer friendship with people they always back off and it always leaves me wondering why. I’ve slowly been starting to realize that it doesn’t matter how much you socialize and try to put yourself out there, if you don’t fit in with society, you will never make friends. And I think that my experiences prove that.
I don’t think I’ve related to something so much. So well put. Of course it’s sad. But it’s just nice to know that I’m not alone.
And hey, sometimes I think that people like us, we are just too good for them😂
@@gourit9993 You see, there is so much truth behind your words. I believe that at the end of the day, there is a hidden reason as to why we we can’t connect with others(not through our fault) whether it’s physical or spiritual, there’s always a meaning behind something.
@@jasonbaptiste2257 agreed!
This is my essential sadness as well: whenever I reach out to someone in friendship I can more-or-less count on that person either saying "sorry, I'm busy that day" or just not responding at all. I try not to take it personally - as we all do the same thing at-times - but the cumulative effect of this happening over decades just makes me not want to try anymore. I begin to wonder why so few people have any interest in hanging out with me. I like me and would be flattered by an invitation, so its always disappointing when it's reinforced that I'm the only one who feels that way.
@@jeank8061 Wow, as I read your comment, I never ever thought that I would hear someone else say the same exact thing I have always felt in the back of my head. I totally get where you are coming from and that's exactly why I stopped. At the time, I wrote that comment, having no friends really haunted me as I'm still young. But my life has changed so much since then to the point where I could care less about people wanting to be my friend or not. I got too much to focus on right now, but I just want to end by saying this. You Are a great person and honestly speaking there's probably a reason why this is happening to a select few people like yourself and I. You're destined for greatness and although social rejection can be very hurtful, there's something bigger in store for us!
What you have to be careful with is if you're a generous, giving, caring, supportive person you spend your whole life being used by "takers" and still wind up with no friends, while the "takers", whom you were always there for, move on and are never there for you in return. Then you get bitter because you see them happy and social and you're alone.
Yes!
THIS!!!
yes this is true....I was just used by someone for 2 years and then he dumped me....and he can move on and I am heart broken and all alone....
You will be celebrated when you are dead. My grandmother was a giver. Amount of people who came to funeral was insane
@@anusha2465 was her name donna ???
As every day passes by the more lonlier and depressed I feel. Thats the worst feeling 😭
u are yash the legend u can overcome this
I'm not depressed cuz I have Jesus but I'm lonely
Yeah, it can get pretty bad but you have the internet! Imagine life without it? You have the world at your fingertips and you can make miracles happen. You met me through here, didn't you? See what I mean?
Ask God to beam you down some love.
@@tedoneilclark4710Stupid comment.
It’s very dangerous to add value in other people without anything in return. You will get USED by people as an idiot.
Society is cruel.
Those who are lonely without friends are usually hypersensitive people. Hypersensitive people are also highly intelligent. In France we call them : High intellectual potential. These people suffer the most. Because ... hard for them to find love or friends. Hard to find a job
😔 i agree because ive experienced it. im not that intelligent though. .. is there any way out of this that leads to happiness and love,good relationships..?
@@luciagondova4205 Jesus is the answer.
Very interesting comment and a good point. It would be good to have a discussion about this. How can you make friends and add value to each others lives without being used.
There's a fine balance. You need to recognize your own needs and not put yourself last all the time.
It's also important to choose the right people to invest in and to avoid narcissists at all costs. Make sure it's people that care about you and your well-being, people capable of being kind and compassionate in turn. Narcissists don't care about people, they merely use them and discard them when they no longer serve a purpose. It's important to watch out for such people.
If they dont give anything in return, they are using you. Dont be needy. Love yourself and love will come to you
I feel more lonely around people... Thats why i rather not have friends
i don't want to talk with them, but i would like being around with people.
This!!
2 years ago I felt the same but now I wished I still had them because toxic friends is better than having no friends and being alone
@@itsmefc9612 no omg ,never ,I rather be alone
@Nika Akhvlediani
Better do something else, becoming a christian isn't wise
I have no friends and honestly this is how I like my life . I have two adult children who live away and I have a partner and two dogs . This for me is plenty . I hate social occasions, I don’t like meeting new people and can’t stand idle conversations for the sake of being polite . I enjoy being alone and will always embrace it . We are all different .
Seeing all these people here who relate, helps me not feel as lonely.
Its better to be alone than being surrounded by a bunch of fake friends!😊
True bro some of them backstabbed me just few hours ago
There's lot great people around me.. It just me don't know how to socialize and react well.
How about when you go to the bar and see a group of close friends…..
All ever wanted was a friend.now I'm starting to think this universe is so dark.for 15 years I never had a friend.😢😢
Not really, having fake friends is way better than being lonely and depressed.
I'm alone and not lonely. Get 2 kittens they will keep you going they are a blessing. Being alone frees you up from all the drama.
What happens if you need to go somewhere for a few days? Call your friends and ask them to look after your cat? Without a social network it's difficult.
I have no friends my life is sad I haven't had a friend in 11 years My life is only for myself when I go out I am very sad when I have no friends .Do I have to chat with people out there or find a group of teenagers to find friends.I watched this video and I remembered that I have no friends forever.I used to be bullied at school with a friend and me Trauma and until now I have no friends It's been 11 years. my life is only on social media but outside of me I just have no friends 😭😭😭😭😭😭Thank you for being so passionate about finding friends out there 😭😭😭😭😭😭
SAME
No friends sad life after 2 year
All my friends are married or in a committed relationships. I am lonely..
Same
I would like to be your friend.
“Loneliness doesn’t come from not having people around - Loneliness comes when the people around you don’t understand who you are on a very deep level.” That one hit hard 🥸
Thank you so much for this video 🙏🏻
Yeah that did hit pretty hard
Even just being a listener, makes such a difference. I feel very depressed when I try to talk to someone who either doesn't listen at all, or shows impatience. But I feel wonderful when someone shows genuine interest, laughs at my dumb jokes, etc. Well, I can do that for others - listen, and really appreciate what they say, make them feel good about it. A little of that goes a long way too.
Many people who don’t listen just want to talk about themselves
It´s hard to find someone nowadays who don´t use and abuse you.
Loneliness is no longer about being an outcast or misfit, it’s about being unique and being and individual. The more of a sheep you are, the more “friends” (fake) you will have.
wow, so true.
This right here, so so accurate! I don’t want to write a long reply and even though it’s a late reply, I just wanted to say that this is something I’ve realized as I started to get older. I’m 18 and I’m so different from the other kids my age . It’s because I choose to follow my own path and do what makes me happy, that’s the reason why I have no friends. One thing I’ve noticed right is that it’s always the people who are just like everyone else that have the most friends, they’re literally all the same and I always ask myself how is it that all these people are into the same thing? Well it’s because they’re not, most of them are putting on a fake act jjst to please others so that they won’t end up alone. Everytime I have asked people for help, they always try to put it on me saying things like: “oh you don’t socialize enough”, “you’re not giving it time”, etc. I eventually just ended up realizing that this is more of a external problem, than an internal. Because at the end of the day, we can’t really control other peoples actions so if you’re having a hard time making friends like I am, just remember that it’s not your fault
I remember being a social butterfly with so many friends parties everything. Here i am now with no one at the age of 28 with only my parents to go out with and maybe some coworkers. Work keeps me alive otherwise i would have become really depressed even more than now… it sucks and it will probably last for a lot years
Same. Having goals for the future helps a lot imo.
Everyone is the same. Friends come and go as yourself also, family mainly stay together.
A word of advice: if you feel alone and currently struggling with making friends/ finding a partner, surround yourself with the great minds of the past (and present). That will expand your horizons, bring a sense of connection to your life and it will keep you grounded.
how? what dose that mean?
What do you mean by great minds?
how? maybe it would happend that if I don't live with my mom, but due to the pandemic I have no job and the other day I talked about my literary chronicle in wich my mom told me seeks a husband, because I'm single and, and I answered that comes alone without finding and also I not necesary gonna marry with my next boyfriend and she said you need to seeks because you need to hang out, and then I realized she said that because she knows I have no friends and thats sad.
U should explain wht u mean..cause none of us understood wht u r trying to say dear..@ aftermath.
He is tryiing to say you should read the great writers, philosophers and scientists of all times.
"Add value to other people's lives" is bad advice for people who have no boundaries and are already too other-focused. Think of an adult whose socialization was destroyed by a drunk bitter parent. He/she has no friends because he gives too much and can't navigate the complicated turns of proper social engagement.
Agree. I think his video is very bad advice. I spent my entire life helping and supporting other people. I've lost valuable time, thousands of dollars etc. It's horrible.
I moved to a new state, no one talks to me at school, they don’t try to be my friend they already have their friend groups. I’ve always been a loner but I guess I didn’t realize that I wasn’t that lonely I had my cousin and a great friend. I think I took then for granted, Cause now I’m in middle school all alone with very awkward social skills. To the 1% of people who read this: Thank you
I am 58 & never had any friends through choice. I’ve never cultivated any friendships as I find the effort of socialising stifling & tiresome. As a mature person I’ve found after all these years that friendships are not worth the time & effort. People in general usual befriend you because they find you useful to them in one form or another. I actually think that folk who make their own lives miserable with the constant longing for friends are lacking in independence & self love. Be your own best friend, rely on yourself & immerse yourself in your own passions, these three things are the key to a contented & successful life.
Love this. I'm 36 and literally have never had friends. I've have acquaintances and coworkers, but I literally never had friends and didn't really care much to.
I was never the party/club person. Most of the drama and grief in my life have come from family, the one place where you'd think you'd get love and support.
I've spent years helping/supporting family and have been used, taken advantage of, disrespected, sabotaged and backstabbed. For once in my life, I put myself first.
I made the mistake of thinking that my co-workers were friends...not my best decision! If they think it will advance their careers, they will throw you under the proverbial bus. I have always been a loner and my life experience has only reaffirmed my philosophy and outlook on life.
I’ve lost all motivation and interest in life at age 30 and I’ve been trying to study and find out what’s wrong with me and I your video popped up….. Justin Kyle Brown was the name of my best friend all through k-12th grade and into our early 20s until he was killed in a car accident so I took that as a sign to watch. I’m glad I did, God bless you Justin Brown.
Thank you for posting this video. This is one of those topics that seems to be avoided by most influencers. In my mid-fifties, I don't seem to have friends at all and I am not necessarily bothered by it, because I'm sure that eventually, that will change, but I do think about it and sometimes it depresses me. I am grateful that you posted this video, because not only does it bring me hope, but it gives me things that I can do to change it. THANK YOU!
Thanks so much Avery. I feel that when videos are created about not having friends, it focuses on how to have friends, rather than embracing not having friends and using it to our advantage. I think when we embrace it then things do start to change, but in roundabout ways.
I feel so used by PPL around me . I gave in to helping and caring truly.. but it was ALWAYS used instead of valued.. feels sad
I experience that too sis.
I feel like you are a more advanced version of me, lol. Loneliness is a huge problem in modern society. England has a Minister of Loneliness because it's a growing problem. We live isolated lives. Thanks for the videos I will try these tips.
Haha thanks. Loneliness really is a big problem. Check out our article about this: ideapod.com/being-alone/
Is it, where are people like you
I just got backstabbed by my group of friends that I’ve known for 5 years and they were really the only people rather than my parents who really grounded me
My parents are kind and they understand my pain and my old friends we're fake
They used to use me for money
May I asked how they backstabbed you?
@@multicreativeartist6579 I’ve forgiven them because I was going through something but they just kicked me out of a group chat for a more simplified story
I'm really sorry to hear that. Sending you love and strength from where I am
Oh I’m so sorry to hear that
"Loneliness does not come from having no people around, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to oneself" - CG Jung
When I decided to try spirituality, I felt full and happy and stayed away from toxic relations. I also built my own castle of happiness through helping strangers, and loving relatives.
Great to hear it
I live in Melbourne also.This Video made me cry. I have Chronic Depression. I've had it since I was 8 years old & will have it for the rest of my life. I also suffer from mild anxiety & mild ocd. I also have a disability & am in a wheelchair. I haven't always been in a wheelchair. But I find people tend to treat you differently. I always feel like I'm in the way. I used to do alot of community work when I was younger as I didn't have friends at school. But when it was time to leave I felt so lonely. I've always felt not good enough. Nothing in my life has happened how I thought it would - I am in my 40's & single with no children. By now I thought I'd be married with 3 children. It makes it harder as all my siblings have been married & have kids of their own. I feel different. I've always longed to have friends & do what I see others doing, now I've just isolated myself. My heart has been broken enough, I couldn't cope with it happening again. People are so quick to judge you by what they see. If they only got to know me they would find a nice person underneath. I feel very self concious going out by myself. I feel like people are saying - look at her, she mustn't have any friends. I love my nephews alot. I like doing stuff with them but can't afford a car to take them to the places I'd like. I have a almost 1 year old great niece, but she doesn't live in Victoria. There are places I'd like to go, but there places you need to go with other people who like the same things. I want to to things with others besides my aged mother. I don't really like or enjoy my life. Sometime I wonder why I'm on this earth. I don't feel like people understand me.
I hope you can join some groups or support networks. I do volunteer work and I’ve met so many lovely people through it.
I put my hands up and pray for you. I have bipolar disorder and mild depression. I have been disappointed and hurt myself but still holding on. Sometimes I wish that universe just sucked me into void.
I pray that you will receive the love of God, and offer yourself in service to your community so that you may be blessed by giving to others. You are never alone, God is love and He loves you as He made you exactly how you were intended to be. As for the chronic depression/anxiety, I have dealt with this too. I highly recommend focusing on diet, and gut health. Cutting out dairy and rectifying my diet, taking probiotics and supplements helped my mental health tremendously. Many have also seen healing using these techniques. Also your prayers are heard so when you feel alone, try speaking with God, you will be heard. Sending you love and wishing the best for you 🙏
Choosing to be alone doesn't make one lonely. It's giving yourself freedom and adventures which some others envy.
yup - go where you want, when and do what you want. hobbies can be spread all over the house and not put away until they are completed. no trashy tv. no one taking the mick. eat when you want to - none of this 3 meals a day and other semi autistic routines. no bickering!
I'm trying to shift to this philosophy as I see virtually no one at the moment. It's hard but I'll get there.
@@lowelljohnson744 some people like a pet as middle ground.
I’ve actually found that in doing step 1, I play the role of supporter, helper, favor do-Er and when I am not available to help that friend, they get upset and cast me aside. They didn’t like me, they only liked what I did for them. It made me feel even more lonely.
I’m Would, but I’m not a reader
I’m an introvert and even I’m in pain without any friends. It’s been this way for a while and I’m not sure how much longer I want it to be this way.
Hey Diesel Jimmie, sorry you're going through all of this but just hang in there, tomorrow can bring wonderful things. You just never know, hopefully it will get better for you. Just letting you know people do care...
I will be your friend.
Thank you for this. I’m in one of the most lonely times in my life and it is tough. I have good days and bad. I am trying to make the best of not having anyone at all I’m trying to learn from it but at the same time really would just like to be able to give love and be loved.
How are you doing now?
True words - but happiness is individual not with others. I am an introvert. So being alone is part of my DNA. Not bothered with socialism life.
I too worried ,what if someone try to fight with us ?.
@@Bajarangbal If u people love to stay lonely then stay thatway.It is fun to have friends and all.When I was in school I thought that friendship would ruin my dtudies.So I stayed away from all.When I get to clg I found the vibe there.And I am sad that I can not socialize me much
Same here
Growing up my mom never allowed us to have a lot of free time, I remember feeling miserable when seeing my peers with friends, playing , spending time together. All we did with my sister was go to school, read, cook and go to church.
Today I would like to thank her because that was in actual fact good training. When I’m alone I’m most peaceful and don’t feel like I’m missing out on something. I keep few quality friends and don’t need a lot of people for approval or validation, I’m just content and comfortable in my space.
I had friends until the pandemic hit, but most were through my career and I've recently retired, so no longer see them. I have 2 friends that I see, but not often and I am lonely. I lost my husband to cancer 4 years ago and lost many "couple" friends following that. I raised my children to be strong, self assured and independent. I guess I did a good job, because they are independent, living their lives and I'm rarely included in their outings. (who wants mom there anyway). It's hard not to feel self pity. In the past I have been described as "too nice" and allow people to take advantage of me. Since my career was a HUGE part of my purpose, I don't know what to do now.
As a male when my partner died it took away a lot of my social life as I think women are more social than men and I socialised because of her. Spend you time travelling , seeing and doing new things embrace dining alone in a restaurant focus enjoying life and you will feel less alone .
I have been around countless so called friends and girlfriends all my life living in the city. And now I live alone out in the country. And I am so happy being by myself!
thanks for doing this man, you probably saved a lot of lives today
No one talks about the deep physical pain that comes with the loneliness.
It hurts so bad, I have no one to talk to or hang out with.
I often feel like I just don’t want to be here anymore.
I'm an American living abroad so my feeling of isolation is tenfold. I look different, talk different and I am different. I struggled with this for years but now I'm okay. This is why I never see social media as some kind of evil thing I have to banish from my life. RUclips is social media after all, and this video helped me. Thank you great channel
I onely feel comfort with one friend, having so many make me feel lonely.
Loneliness spans from not having a relationship with yourself. Thank you. Have a wonderful day
Its an interesting thing. As an introvert I recharge by being alone. People drain my energy, it's exhausting. The other side of the coin is not investing enough into friendships because of fear. See, if you had bad experiences with friends with loyalty and trust and you are an introvert, it's almost impossible to make new ones. Being a man, no one wants to hear you complain, it looks weak, not even your wife or parents want to hear it. I sometimes miss being able to tell someone something without being judged, just an ear, understanding.
If you feel alone, take a slow walk into nature. It will fill your heart with joy and peace.
Best comment! Nature is my recharge and motivation.
Nature is our true friend, the realest.
I do that all the time and it doesn't fill my heart with joy and peace. It's only an escape. Sometimes a lonely walk can make me sad. Nature looks beautiful from a distance but close to it you see the decay. The trees also struggle to survive.
@@jerryhall5709 if you interpret nature through your feelings she may look like your feelings. If you let her in by giving her more and more space, the feelings of sadness will diminish. Try to find a place in nature which is harmonious and calm.
There is only so few times you can do this before you get bored of it and you are back where you started
As I've gotten older, friendships are very tenuous and my patience for 'nonsense' less tolerable. Covid in my State forced people to their knees and high unemployment. 3 years is a long time and the aftermath is everywhere. Looking after yourself is no 1 and your partner. In hindsight everyone is very affected by the world chaos, their lives disrupted, and I think much more cautious about everything. Taking one day at a time is my pathway to peace and being kind to yourself.
I feel like I did this to myself.
In elementary school, my parents forced me to take school way to seriously and what ended up happening is that I started valuing school over my other peers.
In middle school, I had maybe 1 or 2 friends at this point, but they both left school. I eventually lost contact with them and still haven’t heard from them since. I became the loner in school.
Now I’m in high school. I tried talking more and tried to meet new people by playing sports, but I ended up feeling more lonely. Every girl I liked never even saw me or knew I existed. Everyone goes to the mall with their friends while I’m at home doing nothing. It really sucks and because of this I get depressed whenever I’m at a dance (or in any social situation) and I’m just standing there all alone. All this time, I’m still taking school way too seriously just like in elementary and middle school, though it’s because it’s basically all I have now. I tried convincing my parents to go to a different school so I could at least meet one or two new people, but of course they wouldn’t let me.
I’ve been going to the same school now since pre school and I just want a fresh start and to renew my reputation. Especially since I started to get bullied. I told my parents about it and they literally just said to tough it out and wait until graduation.
Edit: the reason I wrote this is because I just got a painful reminder of this when I had to write an essay on my befriend(I don’t have one) in French
I moved to new place for college..
I've been trying to be a nice person always trying to make some real friends, but this people are so different ...
Some of them come talk to me, but u realize deep down if ur friend is real or not ...
I just always wished I could go back where I had real friends..
BUT, I started to realize having no friends is a good thing too, I started focusing on my study's, I started working out ...
Whenever I felt sad *I* *JUST* *LISTEN* *TO* *SOME**MUSIC*...
ALL I LEARNED FROM BEING ALONE
" *FOCUS* *ON* *YOURSELF* "
" *IT'S* *BETTER* *TO* *HAVE* *NO* *FRIENDS* , *THAN* *HAVING* *FAKE* *FRIENDS* "
" *GET* *SUCCESSFUL* "
And I know one day people are gonna regret on not being my friend
*WHOEVER* *U* *ARE* *DON'T* *GIVE* *UP* *BUILD* *YOURSELF* *BETTER*
Take care!
I also have only 1 friend who lives really far away from my house. I was feeling very lonely, but then I thought to myself "what's the use of having friends? Most of the friends are unhelpful and useless. I can struggle myself to put the rail lines back on the track" only this one thought gave me a motivation to stop feeling lonely. But still, Thanks for making this video.
I've been alone for a couple of years, i choose to be alone because i have goals and I'm really focus on it and i don't want distractions. In my experience it's so difficult to be alone but i said to myself it's gonna be easy for me to make friends if i achieve my goals first and thankfully i didn't regret to chose to be alone because i discovered and realized a lot of things as i also went through a lot of pain and insecurities but i told myself it's gonna be worth it. I'm now focusing on things that matters to me, continuously improving and developing myself. This video is so helpful for us especially to those going through the same. Thankss! ❤🇵🇭
I like your content Justin. I've been trying to explain this to my son. Self-focus is important, but only focusing on yourself keeps you by yourself.
I‘m so sick of people saying „Loneliness isn’t being alone. It’s having people around who don’t understand you.“
Well, princess, it’s even much much more worse when you DON‘T even have anyone. Privileged spoiled people who have no idea of real suffering.
I think you misunderstood him, youre over-empasizing things. What hes saying is that its okay to live a grumpy life, because im so much better than those people! I love living under a rock with loneliness. Because crying, lying and hurting myself feels good. Then ill show to the social media that "Im one of those vegan people where they say I FEEL SO GOOd eating raw and unpealed carrots that just came from the ground without even washing it because its natural".
You can be around 100 people and if there's no connection well you feel lonely- any way----- so iv found my own peace with just been me and building on what I like in life
Frrr! THISS!!!
Embrace being by yourself, its so good to be who you are and to be able to do things you want to do without anyone bothering you. Iv been alone for many many years and enjoy it because i can enjoy things all by myself, with my pets, with nature and the animals outside, to enjoying music and seeing films, its really not that bad doing things alone. I personally love it, but i know not many feel the same, just do and enjoy things you want to do.
This is really wise advice. I'm turning 50 in a week, single and no kids. I was wishing I could do something special with friends, but realized a lot of my friendships have changed as people have grown, formed families, moved away. So I'm in a period of few close friends, and I've felt a little down about it. But thinking about Purpose is always good, perhaps especially to counter the Midlife Crisis feelings. It doesn't really matter if my birthday comes and goes and nobody notices; I can focus on helping someone else and feel it was a good day, well spent.
I'm 37 same boat you gotta just do activities that you don't need people for like lifting weights boxing and playing basketball
Same here. 36. You're not alone, that's for sure.
The only “friends” I’ve ever had completely threw me away while I’m going through the hardest time I ever have. I’m not enough for anyone and I hate myself so much for it
This is EXACTLY what I was going through. After making the effort of socialising, I then felt in a rut of self-thinking that in resulted in some kind of narcissism. And I really didn’t like that. Thank you for your message, I really thought that I was alone in this but apparently not.
This topic resonates with me very loudly at the moment. I often feel lonely and sometimes find myself saying (to myself) "I'm sick of giving...give, give, give, give!!" I will have to re-watch this video a few times I think, just to try and get the most out of it!
PS: I'm sorry you have experienced the "fake friends" thing and I thank you profusely for sharing your journey and subsequent knowledge.
Thanks for sharing Deborah! I recommend checking out Ideapod. We have loads of resources about finding meaningful relationships: ideapod.com/
Deborah, wow I feel like I could have written that myself. I relate 100 percent
People are all busy even with these restrictions. You give and volunteer and help humanity but I guess have to learn to be alone.
I am 47 year old female, my husband left me, I live on the Gold Coast and I have no friends or children. I have an accent, lived in different countries and I have many interests and hobbies. I am used to spending time by myself, although it would be nice to go sometimes with someone for a coffee or walk.
I've been hurt and backstabbed so many times, abandoned, lied to and abused. I overcame addictions and quit making bad choices but at the end of it all, I'm alone. I know I should start trying to make new friendships but I don't know where to start. I'm 46 now and afraid I'll be alone forever.
I feel more lonely in a crowd than I do alone in nature
I totally agree!
nature makes me feel so alone
i feel very comfortable in this comment section so i’m just gonna let out my feelings, i am part of a friend group, but they are all close to one other person in the group, and i’m just the odd one out. i don’t even speak with them because i’m never given the time to talk when we are together. and during lockdown i had not spoken to any of them and got really close to an online friend and just let myself completely rely on her and now she’s replaced me. Now i’m back at school, the fact i see everyone going out and doing fun things with their friends really makes me upset knowing i will never experience that. my only friend is my sister and she will be leaving for university soon. i will have nobody to talk to leaving me in an even worse state than what i’m in now. i used to be great at meeting people but now i always feel so tense and vulnerable.
Hey, idk. I did the same. I relied on someone 'Online'.I was happy for onc but, eventually without any explanations laid out..I was unfriended and blocked. I kept questioning myself 'why'? Where did I go wrong?. But, now slowly and gradually I've accepted the fact that no one. I repeat 'NO ONE' would like to talk to me and I'm fine with that. I keep my mind busy in reading and yeah, Idk what to say else.
Can we be friends? Maybe we can exchange each others instagram?
im in the exact same situation... being part of a friend group but not really at the same time as they all each have their own closest/best friend, while you don't. they almost never text you until you try to engage them first, but even then, they don't say a lot and are always dry. perhaps we can all try being friends through our socials? I'm 15 by the way if that even matters.
@@labonetia4399 sure i’d love that!(sorry for the late reply) my instagram is nxncys by the way :))
@@quackeshy4317 sure that’d be great, i’m 14 turning 15 in a couple of months and yeah :)
When I was younger, I used to feel utterly alone. Later, as I learned to relate to everything as myself, I learned to feel whole everywhere I go. I had to go through a mind changing experience to be capable to see everything and everyone as myself. I am no longer alone.
Thanks for all of the comments below. There are so many that I decided to go a little deeper on the subject of not having friends with this video: ruclips.net/video/ElFfSGeiXqo/видео.html
And this new video with an important message to anyone feeling lonely: ruclips.net/video/wiJq8B2EtXU/видео.html
Wow. Thaks
Hey man just found your channel your videos are great you deserve more subscribers
I am a happy loner...and I would highly recommend the book The Highly Sensitive Person...which is 10% of the population, and it really helped me to embrace and accept the person I am.
I have no friends thanks for the video
Great video. It's so very easy to fall into "narcissistic" behavior when you're alone too long. Focusing on yourself too much can lead to bad things mentally and physically. Thank you for the insight, I plan on using it.
Almost 2 years old now but what a profound gem. Thanks for sharing your experience, Justin. You've dissected your journey into simple actionable items. The fact that it's a journey that seems to be shared by countless others, including myself lends a lot of credence to your suggested actions. I think it's funny that there are so many of us around with these "elevated" and self-important thoughts, of which would have immense value to people that are more than likely, walking among us, thinking the same things, but we pass each other silently like ships in the night. Cheers, my friend, looking forward to seeing more content from you.
Thanks so much for the kind words, much appreciated.
The worst mistake that I ever did was when I was a teenager back in 1986 was make friends. I was the kind of kid who would meet one person who would be my friend and then introduce that person to another person who would be my friend and then and so on and then the next thing I know it turned out to be a big problem because I would have friends who were guys and girls and then the next mistakes that I made was I told everyone of my friends about my life and the kind of family that I came from and it ruined me by them using all of that against me. And then the only time they would want me to hangout with them was if I’d loan them money ( In which I’d never get back) or watch there dog for them when they were on vacation with there families or help them move there furniture to there next apartment. And then I put up with the introverts who I would used to hangout with and they would never say a word about anything of any subject or anyone that they knew or even anything about themselves. Then I had to put up with the guys fighting over getting that one girl who I would try to get to be my girlfriend. And then they would bring there problems and there drama into my life and then they would make me depressed. In the old days when we did didn’t have any technology we had to call our friends by using our home phones or just ring there bell or knock on there door when we wanted hangout together. Now thanks to technology, everyone just texts or calls on there cellphones and now I just block there cell phone number and they get the hint to just leave me alone. Trust me, you don’t need any friends, there nothing but trouble. I’m more happier being by myself. Just stay home and read a good book or learn to get into a new hobby.
I also have no freinds but I live myself I don't need anyone because when nobody is with you the only person who lives is
1)god.
2)mom.
3) yourself.
Hey Anthony, your story resonates with me a lot. Same 1986 time frame, same issue/struggle with making and keeping friends. I did go on to have a large group of friends, but they were different groups and none of those people fused together becuase I was there friend, they weren't mine! Sadly, I just have 1 or 2 people in my life these days and still they are separate. Life sure is a funny enigma. Try to enjoy and take pleasure from your own company my friend. All the best.
That depends on how you define "friends". Some people call you a friend because you got along for t seconds. Me, a friend is someone I spend years building a trust relationship with, and they are far and few between. The value in friends is the quality of people, not the quantity of people you know.
I have went out of my way to help people just to help them, and they just either crap on you or forget your existence, trust me I'm done with people. My 3 step process is simpler,1. Don't care 2. Workout 3. Read.
Life is too short to to waste on the social paradigm. Ninety turns around the sun if you're lucky, and isn't that many turns around the sun. I am alone, not lonely, big difference, people push the whole social currency as a major thing, in my life it's not.
Don't give up on helping people. I understand the frustration of them not meeting you halfway. I've shown myself friendly by offering my number and it's seems like I was doing most of the work by reaching out. Despite all of that, I will continue to be open to meeting new people.
@@loveinautumn3978 not my thing, thanks for the advice but for me personally I'm done with people, like I said I am alone, I am not lonely, life is less complicated and less tedious without having to play the social paradigm game. Solitude for me allows introspection so I don't feel concerned with dealing with peoples bs anymore, life is way too short for that, chasing something that is not for me is a pursuit of trying to make a illusion gain a physical form, not my thing. Thanks none the less, but like I said not my thing anymore.
mine is 1. jesus 2.workout 3. read 🤍
@@marrencebaraquiel no Jesus for me, I am a Hare Krishna.
@@iamnemo8479 i respect your beliefs but i just want to say Jesus loves you and he died for your sins. hope you welcome him in your life someday :)
I learnt who my real friends are long ago..........
I have no friends but life is beautiful with my loyal dog. Ever since getting over my tragic events I have never needed to be close to any human. Tragedy and being alone is life enhancing. X
Lonely and happy. My purpose was self ìmprovement. I went diving, climbing, travelling, playing guitars and drums, and having friends and women turn down my invitations. You did me a favour😂 a day out snowboarding alone is not as good as with friends but better than not going at all. So go ahead and do your thing regardless
Very enlightning thank you for sharing this.. I needed this big time, Greetinngs from South Africa
I am old and alone but I've accepted that fact (because its not my fault) so there's no pain.
Friends always broke me.. Kept breaking until i started to set everything by my own, all alone 😊
You are better off by yourself, you get more done, & do what you want to when you want to do it, I've been alone for 35 years now & every time I try to help people, I just end up getting into more trouble for using my kind heart, so being an introvert is better 😂
This may be true for some people, but not for me. For decades, I always helped others when they asked for help. VERY RARELY did I ever get help when I needed it. I always got excuses instead. I would loan things out to help who I thought were friends, never to be returned or returned broken and not replaced. Being taken advantage of and used most of my life just for being kind to people. Now, getting close to 70, nothing has changed except I have grown to NOT trust people anymore for the last 10 years or so. So tired of being that nice, generous Guy that gets screwed over by this ever growing selfish, inconsiderate and very ungrateful society. I no longer want any friends in my life, because honesty and old fashioned values seemed to have disappeared.
I have no friends by choice. Every friend I’ve had has abused or used me in one way or another. I enjoy my own friendship.
I'm a 57 year old male. In the last two years I've lost my two closest friends who passed away and another friend that moved far away. My mother who I've always been close to call my has come down with dementia and is now in a nursing home. I feel like I've totally lost my sense of identity as well as certain securities with people that I've shared most of my life with. Since the pandemic has hit, my isolation has increased significantly since I can no longer go out to music venues and concerts as I had done frequently and have increasingly become despondent and disheartened about living. I see you're living now more than I ever have in my life and my sense of security has totally disappeared. I had quit smoking and recently returned to it as it seems to have being the only long-term companion that I still can turn to a crazy as that might sound. Everyday is a struggle just wanting to keep going and I feel very heavy and mentally and physically exhausted
:( I'm so sorry for your loss and everything you're having to deal with, Steve. I know things are probably looking like they won't get better from here, but, just try and keep your head up. I know it's difficult, but the universe can really surprise you with what happens when you decide to keep going despite everything. After all, it can't rain forever, you know.
I don't know you at all, and you don't know me either, but please, stay safe and take care out there. If you ever feel lonely or like no one cares about you, know that I, while I might seem like nothing but another random person on the internet, do care for you, and pray that you get better. Keep trying, eventually, it'll all work out and be worth it in the end :)
I hope you have a good rest of the day/night, and good luck with everything that you're going through. It'll get better eventually, I'm sure of it.
I'm in a similar situation, except I'm living with my parents so they can still have their house. They're 85, mom has Alzheimer's, dad's pretty much ok, but it's not safe for them to be in the house alone - if something happened to my dad, my mom wouldn't even know how to use the phone. I'm single, no kids, and I do have friends, but most are married w kids and very involved in all that. I feel like I'm trapped. I'm the only sibling who can live here, and if I leave, that will be the end of my dad's independence because they would have to move to some sort of assisted living. I'm glad my dad can be in his hard-earned castle. He and my mom worked hard to give their six kids a good life. But it's like my life is on hold. So I see my friends very infrequently, don't date, work from home, and am burning out. My confidence to meet new people is nil because I feel a lot of shame about my life. I feel like my life is closing in on me. I never in a million years would have imagined this is how my life would be.
Smoking really resonates with me! I would say to myself, it’s there to comfort me when everyone around me could care less! There is a physical release of dopamine type neurotransmitters when you smoke. In a social situation that only made me feel MORE alone as an individual, I’d separate myself and have a ciggy. My “time out “ for mental health. Finally after two hospitalizations for pneumonia, I was able to quit. I wanted to live because I love my grandchildren. I’m so truly sorry for your suffering. I realize that some of us, are alone for most of our lives, even in marriage! All I can say is that I’ve drawn closer to Christ (He will NEVER abandon you), and I realized that I don’t have friends because I am too intense, too passionate, too honest. People want people who are shallow, will agree with them and generally avoid the big discourse. I get that. People like me, are pretty rare, so it’s hard to find a friend…. I’ve finally stopped trying. I focus on being kind to those around me (without being a doormat!), and developing and pursuing endeavors that are meaningful to me. There’s a reason a lot of us don’t “fit in” and maybe it’s because we’re just uncomfortably deep. So be it! My cats love and trust me… my grandchildren adore me…GOD loves me, and even though I am disabled and in pain now, I know that all this suffering is preparing me for my eternal home. People who have not suffered and who deliberately AVOID suffering, are often the most uncaring and mean people I’ve met. Let your suffering be joining in the cross of Christ! Give it the true meaning it deserves, and press on! Finish the race with Courage and Grace. Peace to you. You are not alone.
@YourBakaSenpai We were all teenagers once. We know it better than you know it.
@@Jaxxon123 yes but you wernt all teenagers in the digital age were you
I did I tried this. I have been lonely and depressed for such a long time and be through a lot of terrible stuff. There is a lot of anger inside of me. But instead of did something crazy I was trying to find something meaningful to do to bring value to society and purpose to my life. I find a job at out of school care to working with children. Becasue I find to bring a positive lifelong influence during the child‘s critical development age is such a critical thing to do. And to my surprise, there were three children really liked and connect with and I was being able to understand them really deeply and most importantly make them feel happy and good about themselves. There were a lot of other children who liked me too. There were yelling my name when I come to work one day. I played with them keep them active and let them jump on top of me to give them and me a good time. The first boy run to me and hugged me twice. The second one asks me if I want to go to his home. And guess what in the first place one of the girls that boss really trust got jealous of me because the kids like me the most are the boss’s son and it used to be her. So she did complain a lot about the things I did like I got on the rooftop to help children get the ball down to be a positive male role model and that I let the kids roughhousing with me because on the internet it says roughhousing is great for kids development and the children loved it. She told a manager and my boss that there is something weird going on between me and the kids. In the end, made the boss fired me because I am only a playmate not an adult leader of the children. And this is an out of school care where we do not even have any teaching to do. In the second place, the lady who is second in charge saw the unhappy face I have when she says the children stand on the mat and swing with rope is dangerous because it is too high and got pissed at me start to treat me like shit. Then one day I let the children play outside barefoot which there is also a paragraph that says that it is good for the kids then she fired me. Then the last place where I was so cautioned not get into trouble and lost all the creativity I have in my previous job. In the beginning, everything is fine that all of my coworkers lift me up and support me. Then when the original coworker quit they got this old lady who is the owner and centre manager‘s friend in everything changed. She hates me for no reason. In the beginning, I do not even know it was her I just felt that the manager used to give me a lot of space and trust me that even let me close the place and stay with the children alone start to not liked and changed in attitude. Then the things become obvious and obvious that she will do everything she can to sabotage me and make me looked bad. The manager left her in charge and the kids don’t listen to her then she blames everything on me that the manager doesn't let me run the gym and play with the kids the way I used to play with them which the kids really enjoyed because it caused too much trouble. I was told to and organized things in a way I completely not good at and obviously, the kids didn‘t listen to me and now even the big boss is here that everyone thinks I am bad at my job. I am being sent to work with her in the small kids' room because I can not handle the big kids when almost all of the kids liked me. She keeps sending me back without notice the manager makes me looked at I go back myself. And I was excluded from all of the job and teamwork that even the newly hired have more responsibilities than me because I am not good enough. The kids do not listen to her because she is not good at this job and she throws all of the trouble to me and lets me handle it and then of course see he is not good at this job. She told me to stand at the door of the boy bathroom in the school and did not noticing me when there are no kids are coming make me look like an idiot. She blames the fault that she and coworker make that lost a kid in their care to me which I was assigned to another duty and have nothing to do with it. When the gym time is over she comes in and tells kids it is snack time and makes every kid and including herself out of the gym and only left me in there with a mess nobody cleaning. Then she made a report to my manager that I never let the kids clean after themselves and do it myself all the time. Which is straight-up lying I always make the kids clean after themselves in the gym use my motivation style until she comes and makes it really hard for me and only this time. I was measure with a high-temperature one with one thermometer the manager want to double-check with the one in the other room she did it for me we both saw it was normal temperature and I overheard their conversation that she told the manager she measures my temp it is just as bad which it is straight-up lying. When saw a girl who gets along with me really well sitting there lonely I go sit down beside her to have a conversation with her she told me to stand up and walk around. Then she starts to exclude me from the team and let me do the pick along with her and my coworker while they work as a team. To make it worth she starts to give me the that is not in the same class and the kids I am not normally pick up with without noticing me. And the kids came out at the door she normally at so she knows it very well just to get me lost kids to get into trouble. She keeps asking me to do things in a tone that is like she has been asked me so many times that make me looked like a bad worker in fact those are the first times she asked me. And the list of the things she did goes on and on I know that it is time for me to start defending myself. I mentioned picking up a list in front of her and the manager then defend myself after she asks me to do things in a ridiculous tone when she asks me for the first time. And guess what the manager let me go for me defending myself and told me that I am not good for the job that kids do not listen to me and that I have been here long enough that I should know better without her even ask me. I am not even allowed to visit when I did nothing wrong. I did want to visit because I made a mistake with the children I understand the most that I ignored him purposely after he looked at me in a not hateful way one time then he is really sensitive and thought I did not like him. I regret right after that and did not want to leave them having him thinking I do not like him as a person that is not good for his development. I want to make him feel good about himself. No, I guess I am not allowed to visit so I was angry and raged on the internet. Then instead of trying to understanding me and comfort me people take the trash to me. Now every place in town would not hired even the there is non-profit care would not even accepting for a volunteer like I did something wrong like I am a criminal. In fact, I gave those children a really good time and at the last place on the last day, almost all of the kids surrounded me and hugged me even pushed me on the ground. This is a job and things that really make me feels sense of purpose and make me feel not lonely because I genuinely wanting to help those kids without anything in return. And I did find children that I really understand them and they also really understand me and simply liked me for who I am. Now I can not see them again and no other place would accept me for simply trying to do good things fit in the society and bring positive value to others and to those children which I did. I make them happy. And for those few kids that have a person who really understand them to help them grow is a really good thing for their development for I can not help them anymore. I tried it now I only got more rejection and more loneness and painful memory. I do not know what to do now I did a good thing to others and now got treated like the plague. This not supposed to be in a storybook. And most importantly I am lonely again.
Can we just stop pretending to be happy introverts, I'd like to just wallow in self-pity for once without there being a "solution"
I just wanna allow myself to be vulnerable for once
But then they’ll call us attention seeker :(
@@ROZE-sw9oq hey we're introverts. This is the only time WE get attention.
Yes yes but I’m scared they will judge me
Yeah my guard is almost always up
@@youjustgotburned3980 I'm an introvert, just not by choice.
Thank you for this. I needed it today as I felt like I have no friends or family members to cheer me up
It's very true. I don't feel lonely when I am alone. I feel lonely when I am around people and we don't connect.
I am at the point where I just call people acquaintances. All my friendships in my 38 years have grown and 90% of those have burned away. I learned to pickup up more hobbies like wood and metal working in my shop, getting into history/studies/topics more, and exercising. Besides my family/wife & kids.. I just don't have it in me to get to close to someone outside of my boxed life.. for reasons that the friendship will eventually and most likely fade anyway. I am good and I get a little lonely once and a while and I just fill that space with something that can better myself mentally or physically. I hope this helps anyone having a hard time adjusting.. it is okay to let go more or entirely and focus more on yourself.
I agree. Sounds like we’ve been through the same things. I was so drained off and on (I’m almost 61) from friends that now I just don’t want any. I can’t take fake people and I hate liars. My husband is my best friend. So I’m thankful and so grateful for him.
Moving from NYC where my family and friends are to another city at first was ok. As time when on especially the summer time I began to feel lonely and depressed. It doesn't feel good when you truly truly have no one. It's painful and extremely boring every single day. It hurts!
I'm so unpopular that the only Phone Calls I receive is from Scam Likely
I had friends or who "i thought" were friends but ended up not. I've been a loner all my life basically and i attribute most of that to my mental health challenges. Having bi polar disorder, social anxiety & ocd. Most folks just can't deal i guess with my issues and bail. Ironically though i'm usually always there when i do make a friend or two. To listen to there problems and be there for them. So i do feel that i make a good friend in that regard. However, after being burned countless times your mind starts telling you your better off alone. You really have no positive experiences to reflect on that can help you overcome your loneliness and push forward in a social manner. I've been that guy on the beach countless times that this guy talked about in the beginning of the video. Often seeing others enjoying themselves while i feel the tears streaming down my face wondering what it must feel like to be accepted, having fun, and have friends in your life. However, them my mind goes back to being burnt and that other half of my brain says don't bother. When your dealing with mental illness as i have it makes it all the harder to motivate yourself to try new things and especially new social situations. Sometimes we need that person who can take you by the hand so to speak and motivate you to just try before you pre-judge a situation and not bother. But when you don't have that falling into a reclusive state often happens more times than not. For me a lot of it is "fear based" as to what people think of me and will i be accepted. My mind gets flooded with bad thoughts of being ridiculed or judged right from the onset of trying something new. To the point i don't bother. It's a vicious cycle that can be VERY difficult to break. And while i know the good lord didn't put us here to live our lives alone. That doesn't make it any easier either. Granted i see a therapist every week and i'm on medication for my problems. And luckily have a great companion dog who truly is my best friend far more than any human could ever be. But your life is still lacking that social stimulation that it needs. It gets to a point where you resolve yourself that you'll never find that special someone to settle down with much less friends. However, i keep trying as hard as it is because i know i have to. Otherwise, the reclusiveness can become so bad it's crippling. If only there was an easier way but then again life isn't easy now is it. God bless to those who are struggling with this or any other mental health problems.
It hurts the most is when every weekend becomes the loneliest days, not having a frnd to spend the time and try calling people to connect but they already have a plan ...that just the worst of all
That is so me and it would shock people to know I am pretty alone. It doesn't seem like it, but I have a hard time finding 1-2 people to consistently hang with me
@@karmasutra4774 even we put in effect to have 1-2 close frnd but at a point they start ignore calls and again alone
Nah. No friends for me! Introvert! I am extremely happy with being a mom, a musician, working full time etc. I love being by myself. I can feel the unwell feeling rise in my throat when I am around with ppl too much. I am unique, very confidant and I love myself and other then my family I hate ppl in general. Idc what anyone thinks. This works for me!