I’m a firm believer in....if you love someone, let them go. If they come back to you, they are yours. If not, they were never yours to begin with!!! And to everyone who’s hurting- rock bottom is a solid foundation. Work on yourself!!! 💗
Stacey Swope I %100 agree with this statement. My ex broke up with me two days ago but I immediately went no contact. I am by no means going to chase her at any point. If it’s meant to be she will have to be the one to initiate contact.
No contact is a win-win situation! Think about it. Do you think you can talk someone in to loving you? Persuade them? FUCK NO. Someone loving you and wanting to be with you must be their choice, it must be a product of their thoughts. If their thoughts are that your needy and desperate, you best believe that'll push them away more. When you do NO CONTACT, you enable the healing process, and moving on is much faster. On top of that? You respect yourself more. You love yourself more. What's more attractive then someone who shows love and respect for them self? Another win is that your ex may miss you and see what life is like without you and want another go. Hit the gym, meditate, it's time to be selfish (in a healthy way). This is the time to move on. Stay strong! Love yourself!
Wesley Gauf How correct you are about this. I have Been hitting the gym and i have lost a total of 60 pounds. I have been in therapy for the last 3 months and i ave been back in school. I have also reconnected with old friends and family. I feel much better about me, although the pain of my divorce is still there I have come a long way in a short amount of time. I have also done an email and skype session with coach and I cant tell you how valuable the information is that he gives you.We all have to remember that we are the starts of our own movie, and no one defines who we are. Self love is the only love and moving forward is hard but necessary. Love yourself more and attract different people!!
When my boyfriend broke up with me I kept watching all these No Contact videos. Out of desperation at first, soon because they motivated me to become a better person and do things I‘ve always wanted to do. Fast forward 1,5 months, I‘ve lost 13 pounds, started working out, am about to move to the city I’ve always wanted to live in and I‘m generally so happy. Watched this today and came to the realization that I don‘t want him back anymore. I guess No Contact really does work. So glad I did this.
I’m one year late to answer and a looot has happened, i went through many ups and downs, but that‘s just life i guess :) over all i‘m still doing great, i honestly think this break up pushed me to become who i am today, mainly because I’ve achieved goals i wouldn’t have achieved if it hadn’t been for him breaking up with me. i‘m very content with where i‘m at in life :)
oh also i haven‘t talked to him since the break up, but our town is small so we saw each other a couple of times when i was there and we still have mutual friends. Apparently he‘s dating a girl now that‘s A LOT like me and looks a lot like me too (our friends said she‘s me but ugly 😭😂) so that was a massive ego push. People do no contact, but do it to become a better you! Not to get your ex back 👌🏼
Whenever im feeling alone and depressed i come here even if ive watched all your videos hundreds of times , just rewatching them makes me feel some type of comfort .
I truly believe the NC rule works best for you, not your ex or your old relationship. Just let go (go no contact) to work on yourself. You're not leaving the car in the garage you are working on it yourself. You are the mechanic and it feels good to do repair something on your own. NC has helped me! Tremendously.
Hahahaha, dude i'm so sorry to hear that, but i literally laughed out loud... and thats the first time i laughed like that since breaking up 4 weeks ago... Thx man I owe u one!
The feeling the feeling doesn't go away because you still have open as long as you hang onto hope you're hanging on to him so you have to kill all hope to really move on and if he comes back after that then that's great and if not it's okay you've made peace with it hope is what kills us because it keeps us Tethered to them
@@julielopez7475 Brilliant!!! And that is it.... I'am still holding on to all this hope that my wife will come back.. We are separated... And it hurts very much
It’s been 1 month tomorrow for me from the time I was served papers for divorce after 13 years. it is hard the first week or so my mind was running around with these last couple weeks I’ve had a chance to settle and sadly find myself crying more times than not. so I hope for your sake and mine that eventually your mind is at peace again being that it has been eight months since you posted this and if your mind is not at peace I am sorry
I’m really losing hope. It’s been 5 months, one month NC. She told me she needs space so I am giving it to her. I’m driving myself nuts waiting for a call or text. There’s only one way to do it - no reach out (disappear basically), work on yourself, and move on. If something is meant to be they will contact you, if not, then well, that’s God’s Will and there is nothing you could’ve done. No amount of begging, pleading, manipulation, etc. wouldve been the magic bullet. Relinquish control, put it in God’s (the Universe’s, etc.) hands. It’s so freeing and the only spiritually healthy way to approach it.
Damn ive tried NC but im the one who broke it, it's been 2 months since my Gf/fiance dumped me. It happened so quick or maybe i just did not noticed it, we'ved been together for almost 7 years with the on and off type of relationship, until early this year she wants us to get married and of course i was so happy, but sadly last march she broke with me starting with a reason that she needs time and space and later i found out that she had a new chat mate...To sum it up i tried to contact her, plead, beg just to fixed our relationship. But it seems she has no more interest and out of anxiety maybe, i even told her "if we could not get back in our relationship atleast accept me as a friend".
Mark Gil Goc-ong same with my story. If she just need time and space she will contact or get back to us but because of the third person that hold her back. It's really hurt to accept she had a new chat mate but it's true. If s.o can walk aways from us let them walk because our destination doesn't not tie to the person who leave. Let's keep fighting.
Henry HR yeah your correct bro, I just continued watching craig's videos and trying to learn new things eventually it helped me a lot..Good luck to your relationhip
M b im goin through a similar situation. Only advice i give myself and to anyone else is if she reqlly is the one put god first pray to g9d consistently to bring her back in your life .
m b any good news since then ? I've been through 9 break ups (sometimes her, sometimes me). I lost my mind when she left on the 10th time, would be great to know it's working for someone.
@@parisak6170 It is true!! Of course I never took him back, but he was pretty persistent so I had to block him eventually..btw I remained good looking but he's ... not. I am married now, with 2 kids. And he has two sons with two woman, divorced twice.
@@hollydrucker3011 our story was like a movie a bit.. because we were separated in a war that took place in my country. We were different religions and nationality but born in the same city that was ruined during that war. But he left me for other reasons. I lost not only all of my friends but the men I loved too. Six years after he left me I got married to a best men I ever met. During those years my ex and me were coming and going to our home city and never met since. He had lived in different countries all over the world, had two sons with two women, left them and finally reached out to me via FB. I was so happy because we spent beautiful 4 years together before hell came down to earth through that war. But no love nothing from my part anyhow. Eventually I had to block him because I think he's unstable person. My husband knew all about it. But if you wanna know if no contact works, it does only if your person have some feelings for you. If not, forget it.
You believe the way I believe Craig cause when an ex is backing away and needing space, you should give it to them and allow them to choose you when they are ready. Pursuing them when they've gone cold is to disturb the natural flow for them coming back to you. Some people fear they will "move on" and thus they fear the truth if that's the case.
Rock N - In most cases they do move on, fairly quickly, unless they're unattractive, can't find anyone better, or you were together for years so they just can't go through with it. With all the girls i've been with, when i've been dumped, i've walked away. They've only ever come back when i was with them 2 years or more. However, i was with a couple of very attractive girls for only 3 to 6 months. They walked and never looked back. They're now both in relationships with guys they met pretty quickly after me. So it just depends how long you were with them, and how attractive they are. No girl is going to feel seperation anxiety from you if she's attractive and meets someone better in her opinion. It's only if they can't find anyone better or things don't work out with their new boyfriend that they may revisit the idea of coming back. No contact on it's own isn't a magic pill to make someone miss you.
Yes you're right, I agree, most of these relationships are over and were probably built on the sexual attraction and that doesn't last for long. I've lost girlfriends and some wanted to come back and some didn't, there was no magic to getting them back, the ones that wanted to come back, did so all on their own and without me ever having to do anything, but just be cool when they started contacting me again and not starting any shit with them, lol
Craig, you're one of the better relationship experts in RUclipsland. I really enjoyed your insights during this video; not only were some of my thoughts validated by your advice, I learned a couple of new things, too. Thanks.
Coach Craig. You are amazing and have helped with my current breakup. Your videos are the one thing that gave me insight of my feelings and ultimately of myself. Love you please don't stop these videos❤
I hate those kind of people. You work a job you hate under a boss who mistreats you and because you are too much of a coward to stand up for yourself you take out your anger on your child.
Guys use the no contact to move on and forget, not to get your ex back. Yes, it sucks how your brain works and you just want to ease that pain by reaching out but at the end you will be glad one day that you never did. Be strong and embrace that pain. Trust me that pain will make you so strong.
Watching this video is really helping me honestly. I blew up my ex phone after he wanted space and I feel bad now after watching this. I have to stop trying to contact him. Starting right now at this time.
Hey Did you ever get back with your ex I’m going threw a hard time with blowing up my ex phone how did you get through how did you stop yourself from blowing his phone up
I did not do any no contact with my ex...even though I broke up with him...we agreed ok a deal of being friends and then reconsider going back to Relationship after some time but...he accidentally got my hopes up and end up having one night stand with another woman...he apologized but I can't get over him...we are still talking but it kills me inside and he claimed to be mentally sick and I'm a psychologist but he refused help...he was firm he doesn't want me back as a girlfriend but I can't quit
I'm 65 miles north of Seattle. The coaching videos have helped me tremendously. Its been 4 months and times are getting better. Need to get through the holidays coming soon. I've learned a lot. Thank you !
Listening from Mexico...great video, one of my favorites! I like to think: If you love someone, set them free, if they come back to you, it's because nobody else wanted them :-)
I’m literally going through it right now. She has no remorse and I’ve given all of me and more to make her happy. Now that the engagement and relationship is over. Cutting off communication is the single most hardest thing to do especially since she throws the I love u out there just to keep me around. U can’t just downgrade to friendship after what she did 💔
My husband of 15 years told me he was leaving me. This came out of left field one night. Mind you for the past 4 years I have been by his side as he was going through cancer treatments. In October we went to his high school reunion. Well it turns out his HS sweetheart was at that reunion. In November he told me he was leaving me because he wants to spend whatever time he has remaining with her and his HS friends. His dr has not told him he has a certain time until he dies. Could be 2 yrs or ten yrs is what his dr told us. They graduated in 1965 and he hasn’t lived in his hometown for 50 years. I am devastated. I do not understand because I really thought we were happily married. He is 72 and I am 63. I can’t believe this is happening to me. I have to sell my house, and everything that comes with a divorce, etc. I feel like I’m the one who is dying. He hasn’t moved to his home state yet but he is going back and forth to see her. He still lives in our state but is staying with a friend for now. My heart is torn out and stomped on.
It was like you made this one just for me. I've been struggling for 6 weeks, he has been kind about reading and even replying once in awhile with a text or a call to keep me calm...I have never reacted this way in a break up. I don't even understand myself right now. Why would this one be so different for me? I'm 52 and have had plenty of practice. He is my high school sweetheart and we just reconnected after 37 years. Lasted only 3 months but he asked me to marry him in 30 days. So lost and confused. Your videos are the only thing that helps. Thanks for all you do..
Lexington, KY. My girlfriend of 3+ years broke up with me exactly a month ago. We have both been texting and keeping contact but it is a double edged blade. It helps a bit but makes it impossible to move forward. I am going to try NC and see how it works out. I cant go to sleep at night because i cant stop thinking about her and what shes doing. Shes the first thing i think of when i wake up and the last thing i think of when i go to sleep. The pain is greater than anything ive ever experienced.
She wants me to "contact" her. But this is the 3rd move out and I've always chased her. This is the first time she left trying to remain "friends ". I told her 3 strikes you're out. I think she doesn't want out but knows it's her. I'm tired.
I love your channel you have saved me in many dark hurtful places !!! I leave your channel on to ease anxiety especially at night and in the mornings. You are amazing 🎉 I can’t thank you enough for your videos full of advice and words of soothing encouragement ❤
Wow, I'm really thrilled I've stumbled upon this RUclips channel! My case is possibly a little different, maybe not. I'm in week 4 of separation from my wife of 24 years. She asked for the separation and I reluctantly capitulated. We've had the arguments and hot moment things that shouldn't have been said but here we are. I still love her very much but am confused with what I have learned these past weeks. As is the case so often, I was blindsided like being hit with a baseball bat up side the head. I thought things were ok. Well, she educated me. Basically what she has felt over the years is a lack of empathy and general understanding her. Not understanding my own emotions, to often I would become angry and shut down and sometimes storm out of the room when having a difficult conversation. But what she was doing over time was pulling away from me and I misread it as health issues that she refused to go to a medical doc for treatment. I was wrong. As an added bonus to my troubles, there are some issues she's not delt with from her past before me. A rape that I knew nothing about until 5 weeks ago. Her feeling like she could never 'hear her own little voice' in her head, etc. We are going to separate counselors to work on our individual issues but she told our pastor that she is going to her counselor for help with HER issues, not OUR marriage issues. She also indicates that at some point, no idea when, she may be ready to look at our marriage. The bad thing is, WHEN? How long? I don't have a clue. She is 58 and I'm 65 going on 50! We both are Christian believers and I for sure don't believe divorce is a viable solution to our issues. So I'm trusting that God will work through her counselor to help clear her head of the garbage she is dealing with and allow her to consider reconciling with me. I am learning a lot about myself and my shortfalls with relating to her. I've made the rookie mistakes you've talked about such as pleading for one more chance, I'll change the way I do this or that, I love you so much, and on and on. I have began going silent with her. No calling to ask her to dinner. No texting her. I will only respond to her initiated calls or texts. I'm trying to be patient and willing to give her the space and time needed. Thank you for your great video content, I'm binge watching them!
I would up the ante and really dive into the word. Renew your mind. Empathy is a key component of what the Lord preached. Learn about spiritual warfare as well. Derek Prince, Isaiah Saldivar..are excellent. Again, really appropriate the word and allow the Lord to change & transform you. The enemy comes to rob, kill & destroy. Don't let him. Go 'gangsta' for the Lord. 100% cooperation and surrender to Him.
I think a girl says she needs space to test the guy n see how much he cares about her and she wants him to chase her but when he fails to do this , the tables do turn and she in turn wants him more. It has now become a challenge u see.
Watching from France! I love your videos. I made tons of mistakes before I found them, and broke no contact after a month last time after following bad advice. I’m not even sure how long this round of no contact has been so far, but I’m sure he’ll reach out when his rebound implodes. Trying to move on with my life and not hold my breathe waiting, but it’s so haaaard. I still love him but I feel like he’d really have to work to earn my trust back at this point and I doubt he’ll try. Who knows. Anyway, thanks for always dropping knowledge!
I have a strong reason to not initiate contact with them thou,everytime i think of her i remembered how badly ive handled the breakup(such as begging and bringing up good me ories and promises),its soo shameful now ive completely gotten rid of my anxiety and desire to reach out to her,seeing my weak and pathetic past text with her only makes me laugh as i realize its a major turnoff to do that after a breakup😂
I’m from Somerset, England... your videos are really helping me keep my anxiety calm... so, a big thank you to you both. The breakup has been prolonged, due to separating possessions, self torment, the cutting ties and relapses in contact... 3 Year’s have now passed, which I know sound crazy... it is all a bit crazy and now feel quiet pathetic... having learnt this week that she has moved on in a big way... So, I will be looking for a video to start to move on, dating... which is not what I want... but have to... need to... I would also like to know more about being “too nice”... I try to be nice, thoughtful and generally a good person... but I hope it’s not for manipulation... thank you again for all your time, videos and help, best wishes James
I really get it now.. 😭. I know I sensed it before, but was too late.. I know deep down my anxiety issues were pushing her away. I'm sussing out here which place is best for my mental health. I want her back so much, but also my priority is my mental health. I know ppl say don't have guilt, but deep down I know this was part of our problems within our relationship. I just lost control of my trauma
I just broke up with my partner after nearly 4 years of getting cheated on, physically abused, smear campaigned, and lied to daily. I've tried leaving her maybe a handful of times and I always ended up contacting her and begging for her back. It was never long before the cycle of abuse started again. As much as I hated her cruel treatment and as fearful I am of her, I can feel my heart breaking with each beat 😭 I do love her more than I've ever loved anybody in my entire life... but I don't want her back, I don't want to continue the relationship any longer, I don't even want the "Honeymoon Phase"... It's absolutely killing me because I know that this time I must keep facing forward and never look back 💔 I pray I'm strong enough to leave her permanently this time. I am in Canada (Winnipeg, Manitoba)
Having a female friend always speeds things up. It never fails. Just make sure u let the girl your seeing understands you just want to be friends otherwise you will involve another person hurting as well. She will respect u for the honesty. Then your being honest to your ex when u tell her it's just friendship. She will then consider coming back because the thought of u moving on will get to her.
My ex used to do that to me all the time chase me around the home when I told him I needed space. I actually had to escape the home to escape him. So unattractive suffocating and not loving. Don't do it.
my ex does same thing. he wants to wear me down just because then he feels more in control. he is very short, so he is incurably insecure He actually looks at his boner in the mirror all the time just to admire it. lol Maybe suffocating you is the easiest way for him to control your living space.
I guess mine broke up because 1. I wanted him to text when got home safe 2. Wanted him to invite me with his friends 3. Wanted himtoo let me know when he was going out for a while so I would know not to wait for a text 4. Not be looking up naked women all the time.5. Actually sit down and rationally talk to me and listen when I have a problem with something he did. But I guess his new co-worker doesn't ask any of this from him so it is all my fault. I didn't think I was being unreasonable but I guess I was? He never came to me that he had problems
You don't get the analogy. It's simple. People believe no contact will fix the relationship. If you leave a problem alone (No contact) that doesn't fix a problem (in the analogies case- the relationship).
I get it! And if the car is too badly damaged it can’t be repaired, then you may have no choice but to scrap it and get a new one (when you’re ready). I like this analogy. This is what happened to my car after our first date, there was an accident and it got completely written off, just like our situationship.
From the San Leandro ca and I am truly blessed that I was able to come across your page I left a comment on another one but I felt that after watching this video it’s certainly just gives you a new perspective on how to look at things and I certainly do now sometimes your friends your family they tell you something but you might feel that that person has a biased opinion well coming from somebody I don’t even know obviously from RUclips but able to connect with your words and put it in the true meaning is crazy it’s like you’re standing here talking to me in front of me. Anyway I just want to say thank you for putting out these videos.
Sending love from Australia! Thanks for all your advice mate! Recently got out of a 5yr relationship, trying hard to get her back. Made a bunch of the classic mistakes in the post-breakup phase but feeling empowered to tackle the situation differently with a variety of the tools you have discussed in your videos. Legend!
It really does work eventually but usually by the time the person comes back your genuinely over them and you don't care anymore but it's very common for ppl to try come back eventually it may be years but it's highly likely
I’ve been through this a couple times now. You have to ask yourself this simple question. Do you really want to be with someone that doesn’t want to be with you? I’m hurting myself at the moment. At times my heart just hurts. But it still comes back to that simple question. And for me, no, I don’t want to. Another thing I have learned. Are you in love with HER/HIM, or are you in love with who you wish they were?
Craig, my gf broke up with after an argument over really nothing. Panic did set in and I did a bit of the classic baby, baby, baby please lol. I started the NC but then we had tickets to a Michael Buble concert and I had to ask how we were going to work that out. Went back to NC after that and about a week and a half later, she walked into my office (we work together but she only comes in the office one per week) and started chatting me up about all kinds of personal stuff, she was happy, smiling and laughing. This week I came back to work after being out for a few days, there were some gifts on my desk that she ordered in January before we broke up, but didn’t arrive until after. I just texted thank you and then returned to NC. We have been together for over 4 years and while I realize I could find someone new, the time apart minus the initial emotional tornado, that she really is the love of my life and if I keep playing it cool, I believe she will reach out at some point.
It's been five weeks now and I'm dying ....I keep telling her how I feel about her I even asked her to marry me ...she said I only asked out of desperation....this is coming from a women that constantly hinted about marriage for the last four years ....I can't sleep anymore and I think about her nonstop ....I've been watching no contact videos for a month and I can't help myself ...the longest I made it was six days ....I talked to this woman every day for seven years and now she won't give me the time of day ....I'm going to start no contact today hoping that it's not to late and that I haven't pushed her to far away ....I have nothing to lose now everything else hasn't worked
Any updates bro? I got dumped with my girlfriend 2 weeks ago and I had worst Christmas of my lifetime. On her birthday she came home and all of us started drinking Alcohol. Around 11am we had decided to go to the night club together with other 4 friends. At the night club she started tweaking and dude’s were touching her as possible as they could and I got really mad. At some point I saw her giving another dude phone numbers and I couldn’t help my self I went to her and yelled at her telling her “let’s go home” she was rude to me and because of that she blocked me on social medias and everywhere. I loved her a lot, I was there for her 24/7. I sent her msg to apologize for my actions but she said she needs time to respond, I’m really dying myself I cannot eat or do anything I love her and I don’t know when she is coming back to me.
We didn't really break up..I haven''t chatted with him since Thursday. Our kids chatted tonight and I told my 14 year old son (who got very upset) and his daughter too who's 14 as well. They were really close. He's been married twice for 9 years each. I am not like them, but he cannot get over him losing everything in the second divorce and tends to dwell on it. I did tell him that eventually I was interested in tying the know again. I love his kids and family!!! This will be tough!!! I do know he loves me, he's just emotionally available. I can't go on like this! So I told my son we were broke up. I am doing the no contact thing and refuse to have any type of contact with him or his family! He says he loves me but he does have a lot on his plate, like getting a job! Financial issues. I;m giving him total space! Any advice? We've been together 11 months.
Going into the 3rd week of no contact. I miss her so much but I deleted all the means of communication so the only way we'll ever talk to each other is her the dumper reaching out to me. I can feel my emotions getting the better of the logics but I keep trusting that not contacting her is the healthiest and most dignified way to go. May God help me through this process.
After loosing my husband of 35 years this is my first relationship and “break up” so I need all the help. No contact gave me my dignity back. (Not to grovel) thanks Craig. I hope to get him back but if I don’t I still look better than I did.
You are a GOD. You have helped me tremendously! My current now ex just ghosted me over a silly argument. It hurt me. This is the second time he did this. Well NEVER again. His loss.
I started dating a girl when she was 5 months pregnant. The father was no where in the picture. She and her boyfriend broke up before she got pregnant and went up to visit her sister and had a one night stand. Then she finds out she is pregnant and didn’t know who the father is. I got with her and supported her through the whole pregnancy. Well one of the possible fathers showed up at the hospital without me knowing he was coming and didn’t leave. I fully understood why he wanted to be there but FYI he turned out to not be the father. Well I was uncomfortable about him being there because he was being disrespectful to me and trying to one up me at the hospital about everything. This naturally caused tension with me and my girlfriend. I stressed her out and I admit it. But now she is saying she doesn’t want to be with me or anyone and she is telling the truth she isn’t with him at least as of now. She even made him wait outside while I was in the delivery room and not him. She didn’t know he wasn’t the father then but still had me there. But then like I said we had some fights and now she is telling me she loves me but wants to be a mom. I have stopped texting her but when I do she will send me something small on Snapchat or whatever about the baby. It’s like she wants me to know she is still there or something. I don’t know what to do. Opened my heart to this girl and her baby. She called me his father. I did skin to skin contact with this baby for his first week of life and helped deliver him. I am truly heartbroken and destroyed from this. I can’t eat or sleep or anything.
Hi Creg, I sent you an email and answered all the questions. Hope you reply soon. I like watching your videos it really helps me out and keeps me calm. Glad I found your channel. I've seen others but I feel like I can trust yours more :)
I had to end a 2 year relationship this morning. I had to tell him I couldn't handle him having past loves girls he has flirted with in the past and girls who still flirt with him. He has 100s of single women on his page. I never been mentioned on his page ever. I told him he needed to delete them he said he would but not all he kept his first love on it I told him he needed to delete her and he said no and said I was to jealous but I can't take it anymore. I going no contact and move on even though it hurts that he chooses her and them over me. Shows all his love for me never was real.
Sherrie Beazley same happened to me. tons of instagram girls and him liking all of their pictures, adding more girls, and staring at other girls when we went out, the last straw was that I found out he still talked to his ex, he said they are “friends”...later on to find out they never really stopped seeing each other years after their breakup. She was in other realtionships, and she cheated with my ex. My ex, on the other hand, never had a real relationship after her, until he met me. But he wanted to act single. Never posted anything about me on social media. I tried to break up, he begged for a chance and said youre the love of my life and the one I want to marry. I gave him tons of chances, but I had enough...we talked. I was crying, but we stayed together. Next day he broke up with me. He was rude and cruel.
Just don't fall in love...problem solved...all feelings does is cause pain..if your lonely get a female friend who just wants sex, trust me they are out their.
Man I wish I had found this channel before I made a mess of things. The woman that i had a non-exclusive relationship for 3 years asked if she could go on a date and i let her like an idiot instead of fighting for her. Then I was consumed with jealousy when I saw her with the new guy on Facebook and realized I truly did love her and was stupid for letting her go. I begged for her to take me back and I would change but the new guy has already made her feel special. I am on day 3 of no contact and I realize I have commitment issues. Whether she comes back or I start a new relationship I need to focus on self-improvement for the future. Thanks for letting me vent to all that read my comments.
Thank you. I'm trying hard to correct the terrible information that's been online regarding how to get an ex back! The reality distortion surrounding no contact has been mind boggling and frustrating. Hopefully this video will start to shed some awareness :)
i was in a 27-year relationship. I went to school out of state and she was to move here when I completed my studies. I graduated and she said she wanted to stay at her job for 2 more years, so we compromised. we sold the house and she moved to where I was going to school. I felt things were not the same but I had not a confirmation and she never said anything to me about ending the relationship. I looked at her phone and there was intimate text between a coworker and her. the messages said i love you i miss you. when I confronted her she denied anything but decided to leave and go back to texas. We never had a conversation about breaking up. NOw it has been over a month and I have not heard a word from her. All my friends have she has left me and I need to get over it. I just can't function. I can't sleep, eat , my brain never shuts off and i dont know what to do. 27 years is a long time to be with someone to find out they are with a coworker that you had no idea about. Please help me?
Hi Craig I’m a long time subscriber of yours and I’m from Pismo Beach California. Thank you for all your hard work and insight . I get excited when you post new videos.
1 John 2:19 they went out from us, but they did not really belongs to us, for if had belonged to us, they would have remained with us; but their going showed that none of them belonged to us, the Bible said people if belonged to us they would stay. So set them free. You're not alone stay strong keep your prayer god take care of u 🙏 god bless everyone ❤️
Hey Craig, I love your channel. It’s been very helpful and I’ve learned a lot from you and Margaret. My ex and I just started no contact a couple weeks ago. How should I handle no contact on Valentine’s Day? I’ve prepared myself by getting some gifts and making a reservation at her favorite restaurant, but now I’m having anxiety on how to approach the day. PLEASE HELP!
I finally heard someone tell the truth about “No Contact”. The idea of putting a car in the garage for a period time, thinking after, the engine would somehow fix itself....says it all. Steve Mesquite, Nevada
To be fair, it doesn't really seem like past trauma gives avoidants the right to neglect anxious partners either. Sometimes it feels like the onus is entirely on anxious people to do all the emotional work, while avoidants seem able to effectively coast
I see your perspective and sometimes I feel like that is so true. But you need to understand that attachment theory much like reality as you know it will not always have logical meaning. It just is the way it is. Our solution or best option rather is to continue working on ourselves and use the knowledge from Coach Craig & Co. They are avoidant for a reason much like we are anxious. It comes from early childhood nurturing and separation anxiety among other trauma. USE THIS KNOWLEDGE to better understand how to thrive with an avoidant partner whether that be your ex or a new partner.
Its been a week since the break up. Ive messaged him every day!! I have a hard time not saying things that sorta of bring me closure. But Im ready to start no contact today.
Man coach your videos are amazing helps a lot I have high hopes in the no contact rule also the rule helps a lot to be honest it lets me forget about it and focus harder and every day it's almost getting easier in a sense not to say I wouldn't want her back but wow it does wonders thanks man ✊🏻
Its been 2 weeks since we broke up. And its been 3 days since i started NC with her. And yesterday i just heard that she doesnt love me anymore and wants to pursue her dream and love herself 1st. Im kinda hurt coz i want us to be back again coz shes my ideal grl. And i believe time heals. That day shell no longer my ideal girl
Going through this now, 5 years feels waisted. Sucks done this one other time in 2010 worst feeling in the 🌎. Wish dating and marriage was like it was in the 30s to 60s my parents was married 64 years before they passed only been with each other started dating at 16 wish it was like that now. Anyone going Through this I’ll say a prayer for you because I know how hard it is and I hope I can do it.
white nation That’s my situation too My LDR Ex knows I want back I’ve tried for the last 5 months on and off I spoke too her in the phone two weeks ago She said it’s over it’s on the past So I’ve let her go And I’m in NC It’s been 13 days and counting
The Happy-go-lucky Gamer Hi there No She doesn’t want me back We last spoke at the beginning of January She said she respects me a lot but we were in the past So I had too finally let her go I wished her well And said I’m not being Friends And if her feelings change too let me know She said she was happy too hear from me and wished me a beautiful weekend. I did not reply I just went into NC It’s been 57 day today I’ll never reach out again unless she makes a move! It’s been really painful experience However I’ve grown so much And it does get easier Trust me! It does I really struggled She was a super beautiful girl And I really thought we were going too be together as we planned when things were gd. So I’m getting on with my life and letting the universe guide my way👍🏻 I’m thinking I will hear from her on my Birthday which is in August I’m thinking what action plan In what too say Something like this Hi M. Hope you are well Thank you very much Leave it as that 👍🏻
The worst part is knowing that most girls are already laying down with another man by the weekend after the break up. And the Man is laying down on the couch. So tonight really sucks. 🤮
I’m a firm believer in....if you love someone, let them go. If they come back to you, they are yours. If not, they were never yours to begin with!!! And to everyone who’s hurting- rock bottom is a solid foundation. Work on yourself!!! 💗
Stacey Swope thank you for your words.
Stacey Swope I %100 agree with this statement. My ex broke up with me two days ago but I immediately went no contact. I am by no means going to chase her at any point. If it’s meant to be she will have to be the one to initiate contact.
Thank you for your words
im not ready to accept that
Stacey swope...u ever in Massachusetts.....lmk....😉😉
No contact is a win-win situation! Think about it. Do you think you can talk someone in to loving you? Persuade them? FUCK NO. Someone loving you and wanting to be with you must be their choice, it must be a product of their thoughts. If their thoughts are that your needy and desperate, you best believe that'll push them away more. When you do NO CONTACT, you enable the healing process, and moving on is much faster. On top of that? You respect yourself more. You love yourself more. What's more attractive then someone who shows love and respect for them self? Another win is that your ex may miss you and see what life is like without you and want another go. Hit the gym, meditate, it's time to be selfish (in a healthy way). This is the time to move on. Stay strong! Love yourself!
Wesley Gauf, definitely hit the gym and take care of your body make yourself attractive to the opposite sex ! It's like magic haha
Wesley Gauf
Wesley Gauf How correct you are about this. I have Been hitting the gym and i have lost a total of 60 pounds. I have been in therapy for the last 3 months and i ave been back in school. I have also reconnected with old friends and family. I feel much better about me, although the pain of my divorce is still there I have come a long way in a short amount of time. I have also done an email and skype session with coach and I cant tell you how valuable the information is that he gives you.We all have to remember that we are the starts of our own movie, and no one defines who we are. Self love is the only love and moving forward is hard but necessary. Love yourself more and attract different people!!
So true!!
When my boyfriend broke up with me I kept watching all these No Contact videos. Out of desperation at first, soon because they motivated me to become a better person and do things I‘ve always wanted to do. Fast forward 1,5 months, I‘ve lost 13 pounds, started working out, am about to move to the city I’ve always wanted to live in and I‘m generally so happy. Watched this today and came to the realization that I don‘t want him back anymore. I guess No Contact really does work. So glad I did this.
oOAleex how are you now?
Update
I’m one year late to answer and a looot has happened, i went through many ups and downs, but that‘s just life i guess :) over all i‘m still doing great, i honestly think this break up pushed me to become who i am today, mainly because I’ve achieved goals i wouldn’t have achieved if it hadn’t been for him breaking up with me. i‘m very content with where i‘m at in life :)
oh also i haven‘t talked to him since the break up, but our town is small so we saw each other a couple of times when i was there and we still have mutual friends. Apparently he‘s dating a girl now that‘s A LOT like me and looks a lot like me too (our friends said she‘s me but ugly 😭😂) so that was a massive ego push. People do no contact, but do it to become a better you! Not to get your ex back 👌🏼
Do you see you guys ever having a talk soon?
Whenever im feeling alone and depressed i come here even if ive watched all your videos hundreds of times , just rewatching them makes me feel some type of comfort .
am the same i got dumped from a younger guy and feeling crossed
I am in the same shoes. My foreign bf ghosted me. I am still hoping and waiting
How you doing these days, CeeCee?
I truly believe the NC rule works best for you, not your ex or your old relationship. Just let go (go no contact) to work on yourself. You're not leaving the car in the garage you are working on it yourself. You are the mechanic and it feels good to do repair something on your own. NC has helped me! Tremendously.
Tq so much for saying this.
I felt this
Well, it's been 3 years. I thinks shes gonna crack soon!
Hahahaha, dude i'm so sorry to hear that, but i literally laughed out loud... and thats the first time i laughed like that since breaking up 4 weeks ago... Thx man I owe u one!
Adam Johnson actually made me laugh haha I’ve been really down these past two weeks staying strong though!
Hahahaha
Omg hilarious Adam
hhahhahahah
My dog walked away while I was petting her, so I'm gonna go No Contact to get her back
G Money lmao
Omg. Lol
Lmao 🤣🤣
😂
No contact is best. Why? No false hope. Plus, you give yourself time to heal.
Why doesn't the feeling go away:(. I want my mind to be at peace again.
The feeling the feeling doesn't go away because you still have open as long as you hang onto hope you're hanging on to him so you have to kill all hope to really move on and if he comes back after that then that's great and if not it's okay you've made peace with it hope is what kills us because it keeps us Tethered to them
@@julielopez7475 Brilliant!!! And that is it.... I'am still holding on to all this hope that my wife will come back..
We are separated... And it hurts very much
Hi Dennis... your mind will be peaceful again. Do the work and put yourself first and the rest will fall into place. Godspeed!
It’s been 1 month tomorrow for me from the time I was served papers for divorce after 13 years. it is hard the first week or so my mind was running around with these last couple weeks I’ve had a chance to settle and sadly find myself crying more times than not. so I hope for your sake and mine that eventually your mind is at peace again being that it has been eight months since you posted this and if your mind is not at peace I am sorry
Call upon the Lord Jesus Christ
I’m really losing hope. It’s been 5 months, one month NC. She told me she needs space so I am giving it to her. I’m driving myself nuts waiting for a call or text. There’s only one way to do it - no reach out (disappear basically), work on yourself, and move on. If something is meant to be they will contact you, if not, then well, that’s God’s Will and there is nothing you could’ve done. No amount of begging, pleading, manipulation, etc. wouldve been the magic bullet. Relinquish control, put it in God’s (the Universe’s, etc.) hands. It’s so freeing and the only spiritually healthy way to approach it.
Damn ive tried NC but im the one who broke it, it's been 2 months since my Gf/fiance dumped me. It happened so quick or maybe i just did not noticed it, we'ved been together for almost 7 years with the on and off type of relationship, until early this year she wants us to get married and of course i was so happy, but sadly last march she broke with me starting with a reason that she needs time and space and later i found out that she had a new chat mate...To sum it up i tried to contact her, plead, beg just to fixed our relationship. But it seems she has no more interest and out of anxiety maybe, i even told her "if we could not get back in our relationship atleast accept me as a friend".
Mark Gil Goc-ong same with my story. If she just need time and space she will contact or get back to us but because of the third person that hold her back. It's really hurt to accept she had a new chat mate but it's true. If s.o can walk aways from us let them walk because our destination doesn't not tie to the person who leave. Let's keep fighting.
Henry HR yeah your correct bro, I just continued watching craig's videos and trying to learn new things eventually it helped me a lot..Good luck to your relationhip
M b im goin through a similar situation. Only advice i give myself and to anyone else is if she reqlly is the one put god first pray to g9d consistently to bring her back in your life .
m b any good news since then ?
I've been through 9 break ups (sometimes her, sometimes me). I lost my mind when she left on the 10th time, would be great to know it's working for someone.
When people walk a way from you, let them go
Agree
I don't care how much you miss someone, if my ex was engaged to someone even in six months after me, says a lot about them as a person.
Honestly NC works even if they don’t come back because it helps you improve and focus on yourself and what you truly want👌🏽
Believe it or not, my ex came back 25years after he left me 😂 no contact really works 😂 !!
Modesty Blaze dude damn...25 YEARS
@@parisak6170 It is true!! Of course I never took him back, but he was pretty persistent so I had to block him eventually..btw I remained good looking but he's ... not. I am married now, with 2 kids. And he has two sons with two woman, divorced twice.
Hahahaa
Oh my Goodness.... I guess your ex was afraid of you rejecting him ? How did you handle that? Did you take the advice from Margaret and Craig?
@@hollydrucker3011 our story was like a movie a bit.. because we were separated in a war that took place in my country. We were different religions and nationality but born in the same city that was ruined during that war. But he left me for other reasons. I lost not only all of my friends but the men I loved too. Six years after he left me I got married to a best men I ever met. During those years my ex and me were coming and going to our home city and never met since. He had lived in different countries all over the world, had two sons with two women, left them and finally reached out to me via FB. I was so happy because we spent beautiful 4 years together before hell came down to earth through that war. But no love nothing from my part anyhow. Eventually I had to block him because I think he's unstable person. My husband knew all about it. But if you wanna know if no contact works, it does only if your person have some feelings for you. If not, forget it.
You believe the way I believe Craig cause when an ex is backing away and needing space, you should give it to them and allow them to choose you when they are ready. Pursuing them when they've gone cold is to disturb the natural flow for them coming back to you. Some people fear they will "move on" and thus they fear the truth if that's the case.
Rock N - In most cases they do move on, fairly quickly, unless they're unattractive, can't find anyone better, or you were together for years so they just can't go through with it. With all the girls i've been with, when i've been dumped, i've walked away. They've only ever come back when i was with them 2 years or more. However, i was with a couple of very attractive girls for only 3 to 6 months. They walked and never looked back. They're now both in relationships with guys they met pretty quickly after me. So it just depends how long you were with them, and how attractive they are. No girl is going to feel seperation anxiety from you if she's attractive and meets someone better in her opinion. It's only if they can't find anyone better or things don't work out with their new boyfriend that they may revisit the idea of coming back. No contact on it's own isn't a magic pill to make someone miss you.
Yes you're right, I agree, most of these relationships are over and were probably built on the sexual attraction and that doesn't last for long. I've lost girlfriends and some wanted to come back and some didn't, there was no magic to getting them back, the ones that wanted to come back, did so all on their own and without me ever having to do anything, but just be cool when they started contacting me again and not starting any shit with them, lol
Rock N if they really care ... they will look back 2 u
@@rockn1677 me and my ex hit it off well. We both loved each other and was attracted to each other for the right reasons. True love.
I was watching these and my ex rang !!! I was walking my dog !! 52 days NC now we’re talking again and trying. Please stay in NC 🙏🏻
Who dumped who?
I split up with her as she wasn’t investing like I was
Craig, you're one of the better relationship experts in RUclipsland. I really enjoyed your insights during this video; not only were some of my thoughts validated by your advice, I learned a couple of new things, too. Thanks.
You're welcome!
Coach Craig. You are amazing and have helped with my current breakup. Your videos are the one thing that gave me insight of my feelings and ultimately of myself. Love you please don't stop these videos❤
You stopped watching, so I might have to retire 😂
I’m 90% sure my gf broke up with me because her mom didn’t approve of me. She would never tell me.
Simply love yourself first. ❤
I hate those kind of people. You work a job you hate under a boss who mistreats you and because you are too much of a coward to stand up for yourself you take out your anger on your child.
True. So really true. I'm trying to keep that in mind when i come back angry from work. Its hard sometimes.
I can’t do this anymore. I just want to be loved.
Guys use the no contact to move on and forget, not to get your ex back. Yes, it sucks how your brain works and you just want to ease that pain by reaching out but at the end you will be glad one day that you never did. Be strong and embrace that pain. Trust me that pain will make you so strong.
Watching this video is really helping me honestly. I blew up my ex phone after he wanted space and I feel bad now after watching this. I have to stop trying to contact him. Starting right now at this time.
Hey Did you ever get back with your ex I’m going threw a hard time with blowing up my ex phone how did you get through how did you stop yourself from blowing his phone up
I did not do any no contact with my ex...even though I broke up with him...we agreed ok a deal of being friends and then reconsider going back to Relationship after some time but...he accidentally got my hopes up and end up having one night stand with another woman...he apologized but I can't get over him...we are still talking but it kills me inside and he claimed to be mentally sick and I'm a psychologist but he refused help...he was firm he doesn't want me back as a girlfriend but I can't quit
I'm 65 miles north of Seattle.
The coaching videos have helped me tremendously. Its been 4 months and times are getting better. Need to get through the holidays coming soon.
I've learned a lot. Thank you !
Listening from Mexico...great video, one of my favorites! I like to think: If you love someone, set them free, if they come back to you, it's because nobody else wanted them :-)
I’m literally going through it right now. She has no remorse and I’ve given all of me and more to make her happy. Now that the engagement and relationship is over. Cutting off communication is the single most hardest thing to do especially since she throws the I love u out there just to keep me around. U can’t just downgrade to friendship after what she did 💔
My husband of 15 years told me he was leaving me. This came out of left field one night. Mind you for the past 4 years I have been by his side as he was going through cancer treatments. In October we went to his high school reunion. Well it turns out his HS sweetheart was at that reunion. In November he told me he was leaving me because he wants to spend whatever time he has remaining with her and his HS friends. His dr has not told him he has a certain time until he dies. Could be 2 yrs or ten yrs is what his dr told us. They graduated in 1965 and he hasn’t lived in his hometown for 50 years. I am devastated. I do not understand because I really thought we were happily married. He is 72 and I am 63. I can’t believe this is happening to me. I have to sell my house, and everything that comes with a divorce, etc. I feel like I’m the one who is dying. He hasn’t moved to his home state yet but he is going back and forth to see her. He still lives in our state but is staying with a friend for now. My heart is torn out and stomped on.
Mo Linne Smith thank you. I’m so glad I found this channel! Coach Craig is awesome.
@@PrincessDiana1220 hope your well right now!🙏
It was like you made this one just for me. I've been struggling for 6 weeks, he has been kind about reading and even replying once in awhile with a text or a call to keep me calm...I have never reacted this way in a break up. I don't even understand myself right now. Why would this one be so different for me? I'm 52 and have had plenty of practice. He is my high school sweetheart and we just reconnected after 37 years. Lasted only 3 months but he asked me to marry him in 30 days. So lost and confused. Your videos are the only thing that helps. Thanks for all you do..
Any news Sally?
I went no contact on Taylor Swift, now she's writing songs about me. 😂
😂😂😂😂
You haven't even met her lol
😂😂😂
Thanks bro. I was crying and I started this video. But you actually made me laugh in my hardest time. Thank you.
@@rushikeshpatil1157 of course bro! Hang in there it gets better!!
Lexington, KY. My girlfriend of 3+ years broke up with me exactly a month ago. We have both been texting and keeping contact but it is a double edged blade. It helps a bit but makes it impossible to move forward. I am going to try NC and see how it works out. I cant go to sleep at night because i cant stop thinking about her and what shes doing. Shes the first thing i think of when i wake up and the last thing i think of when i go to sleep. The pain is greater than anything ive ever experienced.
She wants me to "contact" her. But this is the 3rd move out and I've always chased her. This is the first time she left trying to remain "friends ". I told her 3 strikes you're out. I think she doesn't want out but knows it's her. I'm tired.
I love your channel you have saved me in many dark hurtful places !!! I leave your channel on to ease anxiety especially at night and in the mornings. You are amazing 🎉 I can’t thank you enough for your videos full of advice and words of soothing encouragement ❤
Great information that really gives a lot of insight and advice!!
Wow, I'm really thrilled I've stumbled upon this RUclips channel!
My case is possibly a little different, maybe not. I'm in week 4 of separation from my wife of 24 years. She asked for the separation and I reluctantly capitulated. We've had the arguments and hot moment things that shouldn't have been said but here we are. I still love her very much but am confused with what I have learned these past weeks. As is the case so often, I was blindsided like being hit with a baseball bat up side the head. I thought things were ok. Well, she educated me.
Basically what she has felt over the years is a lack of empathy and general understanding her. Not understanding my own emotions, to often I would become angry and shut down and sometimes storm out of the room when having a difficult conversation. But what she was doing over time was pulling away from me and I misread it as health issues that she refused to go to a medical doc for treatment. I was wrong.
As an added bonus to my troubles, there are some issues she's not delt with from her past before me. A rape that I knew nothing about until 5 weeks ago. Her feeling like she could never 'hear her own little voice' in her head, etc. We are going to separate counselors to work on our individual issues but she told our pastor that she is going to her counselor for help with HER issues, not OUR marriage issues. She also indicates that at some point, no idea when, she may be ready to look at our marriage. The bad thing is, WHEN? How long? I don't have a clue. She is 58 and I'm 65 going on 50!
We both are Christian believers and I for sure don't believe divorce is a viable solution to our issues. So I'm trusting that God will work through her counselor to help clear her head of the garbage she is dealing with and allow her to consider reconciling with me. I am learning a lot about myself and my shortfalls with relating to her. I've made the rookie mistakes you've talked about such as pleading for one more chance, I'll change the way I do this or that, I love you so much, and on and on. I have began going silent with her. No calling to ask her to dinner. No texting her. I will only respond to her initiated calls or texts. I'm trying to be patient and willing to give her the space and time needed. Thank you for your great video content, I'm binge watching them!
Have you considered deliverance she might need to be set free and yourself too Jesus is able Shalom
I would up the ante and really dive into the word. Renew your mind. Empathy is a key component of what the Lord preached. Learn about spiritual warfare as well. Derek Prince, Isaiah Saldivar..are excellent. Again, really appropriate the word and allow the Lord to change & transform you. The enemy comes to rob, kill & destroy. Don't let him. Go 'gangsta' for the Lord. 100% cooperation and surrender to Him.
I think a girl says she needs space to test the guy n see how much he cares about her and she wants him to chase her but when he fails to do this , the tables do turn and she in turn wants him more. It has now become a challenge u see.
Watching from France! I love your videos. I made tons of mistakes before I found them, and broke no contact after a month last time after following bad advice. I’m not even sure how long this round of no contact has been so far, but I’m sure he’ll reach out when his rebound implodes. Trying to move on with my life and not hold my breathe waiting, but it’s so haaaard. I still love him but I feel like he’d really have to work to earn my trust back at this point and I doubt he’ll try. Who knows. Anyway, thanks for always dropping knowledge!
Any update, Kathryn? How are ya these days?
I have a strong reason to not initiate contact with them thou,everytime i think of her i remembered how badly ive handled the breakup(such as begging and bringing up good me ories and promises),its soo shameful now ive completely gotten rid of my anxiety and desire to reach out to her,seeing my weak and pathetic past text with her only makes me laugh as i realize its a major turnoff to do that after a breakup😂
I’m from Somerset, England... your videos are really helping me keep my anxiety calm... so, a big thank you to you both. The breakup has been prolonged, due to separating possessions, self torment, the cutting ties and relapses in contact... 3 Year’s have now passed, which I know sound crazy... it is all a bit crazy and now feel quiet pathetic... having learnt this week that she has moved on in a big way... So, I will be looking for a video to start to move on, dating... which is not what I want... but have to... need to... I would also like to know more about being “too nice”... I try to be nice, thoughtful and generally a good person... but I hope it’s not for manipulation... thank you again for all your time, videos and help, best wishes James
Yay someone else from South of England
@@itsbritneybby same here :)
I'm from South West also 👌
I’m from Oregon! I’m doing the workbooks love them! And watching your videos, thank you for being so approachable ❤
How are you liking The Knowledge Workbooks?
@@CoachCraigKenneth I am really liking them! They make you really think deep, and dig into your blocked thoughts 😬
This is probably the best vid I’ve watched on this situation, no beating around the bush
I really get it now.. 😭. I know I sensed it before, but was too late.. I know deep down my anxiety issues were pushing her away. I'm sussing out here which place is best for my mental health. I want her back so much, but also my priority is my mental health. I know ppl say don't have guilt, but deep down I know this was part of our problems within our relationship. I just lost control of my trauma
I just broke up with my partner after nearly 4 years of getting cheated on, physically abused, smear campaigned, and lied to daily. I've tried leaving her maybe a handful of times and I always ended up contacting her and begging for her back. It was never long before the cycle of abuse started again. As much as I hated her cruel treatment and as fearful I am of her, I can feel my heart breaking with each beat 😭 I do love her more than I've ever loved anybody in my entire life... but I don't want her back, I don't want to continue the relationship any longer, I don't even want the "Honeymoon Phase"... It's absolutely killing me because I know that this time I must keep facing forward and never look back 💔 I pray I'm strong enough to leave her permanently this time.
I am in Canada (Winnipeg, Manitoba)
Exactly same here my friend, be strong and keep moving. Sometimes we need to keep moving even if we don’t to improve ourselves.
I feel like I am dying I miss him
Shena Dames may God give you strength
Update?
Shena Dames. . I know what you mean. this is sooo hard to deal with.
Just be strong and don't contact.
Are y’all back together?
Having a female friend always speeds things up. It never fails. Just make sure u let the girl your seeing understands you just want to be friends otherwise you will involve another person hurting as well. She will respect u for the honesty. Then your being honest to your ex when u tell her it's just friendship. She will then consider coming back because the thought of u moving on will get to her.
My ex used to do that to me all the time chase me around the home when I told him I needed space.
I actually had to escape the home to escape him. So unattractive suffocating and not loving.
Don't do it.
my ex does same thing. he wants to wear me down just because then he feels more in control. he is very short, so he is incurably insecure
He actually looks at his boner in the mirror all the time just to admire it. lol
Maybe suffocating you is the easiest way for him to control your living space.
Tampa FL
Man it's been 34 days for me and I'm still hurtin
Gilbert Aponte you gonna be okay
You ain't the only one
Not the first not the last
It sucks for me to
kensinger aponte me too
You are not alone and i recently learned that its me who needs to change.
kensinger aponte i feel you Im dying inside as well
PLEASE cover this with regards to short term or long distance relationships more please!!!
I guess mine broke up because
1. I wanted him to text when got home safe 2. Wanted him to invite me with his friends 3. Wanted himtoo let me know when he was going out for a while so I would know not to wait for a text 4. Not be looking up naked women all the time.5. Actually sit down and rationally talk to me and listen when I have a problem with something he did. But I guess his new co-worker doesn't ask any of this from him so it is all my fault. I didn't think I was being unreasonable but I guess I was? He never came to me that he had problems
I get your analogy but a car is not a person and a car doesn't have feelings nor can a car think. I really don't agree with you.
How could you not understand what he's talking about. So simple
You don't get the analogy. It's simple. People believe no contact will fix the relationship. If you leave a problem alone (No contact) that doesn't fix a problem (in the analogies case- the relationship).
I get it! And if the car is too badly damaged it can’t be repaired, then you may have no choice but to scrap it and get a new one (when you’re ready). I like this analogy. This is what happened to my car after our first date, there was an accident and it got completely written off, just like our situationship.
From the San Leandro ca and I am truly blessed that I was able to come across your page I left a comment on another one but I felt that after watching this video it’s certainly just gives you a new perspective on how to look at things and I certainly do now sometimes your friends your family they tell you something but you might feel that that person has a biased opinion well coming from somebody I don’t even know obviously from RUclips but able to connect with your words and put it in the true meaning is crazy it’s like you’re standing here talking to me in front of me. Anyway I just want to say thank you for putting out these videos.
Sending love from Australia! Thanks for all your advice mate! Recently got out of a 5yr relationship, trying hard to get her back. Made a bunch of the classic mistakes in the post-breakup phase but feeling empowered to tackle the situation differently with a variety of the tools you have discussed in your videos. Legend!
Any update on your story?
Did she come back or reach out? After how long? How are you doing now?
It really does work eventually but usually by the time the person comes back your genuinely over them and you don't care anymore but it's very common for ppl to try come back eventually it may be years but it's highly likely
I’ve been through this a couple times now. You have to ask yourself this simple question. Do you really want to be with someone that doesn’t want to be with you? I’m hurting myself at the moment. At times my heart just hurts. But it still comes back to that simple question. And for me, no, I don’t want to.
Another thing I have learned. Are you in love with HER/HIM, or are you in love with who you wish they were?
Craig, my gf broke up with after an argument over really nothing. Panic did set in and I did a bit of the classic baby, baby, baby please lol. I started the NC but then we had tickets to a Michael Buble concert and I had to ask how we were going to work that out. Went back to NC after that and about a week and a half later, she walked into my office (we work together but she only comes in the office one per week) and started chatting me up about all kinds of personal stuff, she was happy, smiling and laughing. This week I came back to work after being out for a few days, there were some gifts on my desk that she ordered in January before we broke up, but didn’t arrive until after. I just texted thank you and then returned to NC. We have been together for over 4 years and while I realize I could find someone new, the time apart minus the initial emotional tornado, that she really is the love of my life and if I keep playing it cool, I believe she will reach out at some point.
It's been five weeks now and I'm dying ....I keep telling her how I feel about her I even asked her to marry me ...she said I only asked out of desperation....this is coming from a women that constantly hinted about marriage for the last four years ....I can't sleep anymore and I think about her nonstop ....I've been watching no contact videos for a month and I can't help myself ...the longest I made it was six days ....I talked to this woman every day for seven years and now she won't give me the time of day ....I'm going to start no contact today hoping that it's not to late and that I haven't pushed her to far away ....I have nothing to lose now everything else hasn't worked
Steve Rich updates?
Did it work out
Any updates bro?
I got dumped with my girlfriend 2 weeks ago and I had worst Christmas of my lifetime. On her birthday she came home and all of us started drinking Alcohol. Around 11am we had decided to go to the night club together with other 4 friends. At the night club she started tweaking and dude’s were touching her as possible as they could and I got really mad. At some point I saw her giving another dude phone numbers and I couldn’t help my self I went to her and yelled at her telling her “let’s go home” she was rude to me and because of that she blocked me on social medias and everywhere. I loved her a lot, I was there for her 24/7. I sent her msg to apologize for my actions but she said she needs time to respond, I’m really dying myself I cannot eat or do anything I love her and I don’t know when she is coming back to me.
We didn't really break up..I haven''t chatted with him since Thursday. Our kids chatted tonight and I told my 14 year old son (who got very upset) and his daughter too who's 14 as well. They were really close. He's been married twice for 9 years each. I am not like them, but he cannot get over him losing everything in the second divorce and tends to dwell on it. I did tell him that eventually I was interested in tying the know again. I love his kids and family!!! This will be tough!!! I do know he loves me, he's just emotionally available. I can't go on like this! So I told my son we were broke up. I am doing the no contact thing and refuse to have any type of contact with him or his family! He says he loves me but he does have a lot on his plate, like getting a job! Financial issues. I;m giving him total space! Any advice? We've been together 11 months.
Kristine Hastings I’m on a similar boat
No contact first and second try was a fail... third times a charm!! I can do this!
Going into the 3rd week of no contact. I miss her so much but I deleted all the means of communication so the only way we'll ever talk to each other is her the dumper reaching out to me. I can feel my emotions getting the better of the logics but I keep trusting that not contacting her is the healthiest and most dignified way to go. May God help me through this process.
The best attitude to have to re attract them is to not want to re attract them
After loosing my husband of 35 years this is my first relationship and “break up” so I need all the help. No contact gave me my dignity back. (Not to grovel) thanks Craig. I hope to get him back but if I don’t I still look better than I did.
You are a GOD. You have helped me tremendously! My current now ex just ghosted me over a silly argument. It hurt me. This is the second time he did this. Well NEVER again. His loss.
I started dating a girl when she was 5 months pregnant. The father was no where in the picture. She and her boyfriend broke up before she got pregnant and went up to visit her sister and had a one night stand. Then she finds out she is pregnant and didn’t know who the father is. I got with her and supported her through the whole pregnancy. Well one of the possible fathers showed up at the hospital without me knowing he was coming and didn’t leave. I fully understood why he wanted to be there but FYI he turned out to not be the father. Well I was uncomfortable about him being there because he was being disrespectful to me and trying to one up me at the hospital about everything. This naturally caused tension with me and my girlfriend. I stressed her out and I admit it. But now she is saying she doesn’t want to be with me or anyone and she is telling the truth she isn’t with him at least as of now. She even made him wait outside while I was in the delivery room and not him. She didn’t know he wasn’t the father then but still had me there. But then like I said we had some fights and now she is telling me she loves me but wants to be a mom. I have stopped texting her but when I do she will send me something small on Snapchat or whatever about the baby. It’s like she wants me to know she is still there or something. I don’t know what to do. Opened my heart to this girl and her baby. She called me his father. I did skin to skin contact with this baby for his first week of life and helped deliver him. I am truly heartbroken and destroyed from this. I can’t eat or sleep or anything.
Thank you coach Craig , it’s so touching to hear you promise there has a hope
I’m from Melbourne Australia. You’ve become good friends you and Margaret. I go to bed listening to you both
This was very heart felt video from Craig, you're awesome, thank you
Hi Creg, I sent you an email and answered all the questions. Hope you reply soon. I like watching your videos it really helps me out and keeps me calm. Glad I found your channel. I've seen others but I feel like I can trust yours more :)
I had to end a 2 year relationship this morning. I had to tell him I couldn't handle him having past loves girls he has flirted with in the past and girls who still flirt with him. He has 100s of single women on his page. I never been mentioned on his page ever. I told him he needed to delete them he said he would but not all he kept his first love on it I told him he needed to delete her and he said no and said I was to jealous but I can't take it anymore. I going no contact and move on even though it hurts that he chooses her and them over me. Shows all his love for me never was real.
Sherrie Beazley same happened to me. tons of instagram girls and him liking all of their pictures, adding more girls, and staring at other girls when we went out, the last straw was that I found out he still talked to his ex, he said they are “friends”...later on to find out they never really stopped seeing each other years after their breakup. She was in other realtionships, and she cheated with my ex. My ex, on the other hand, never had a real relationship after her, until he met me. But he wanted to act single. Never posted anything about me on social media. I tried to break up, he begged for a chance and said youre the love of my life and the one I want to marry. I gave him tons of chances, but I had enough...we talked. I was crying, but we stayed together. Next day he broke up with me. He was rude and cruel.
Youre the best relationship coach on you tube
my ex's just so angry at me, so, I'm on my NC as well.... :( I hope he reaches out. I'm improving myself as well :)
Navjot Sandhu your story similar too mine how is your NC rule going for you
good day..Im Jerdan from Philippines..coach Rory (the love chat) recommend your videos and I found it helpful alot:) Thanks a lot!
Thank you for keeping this video up, Coach/Dr. Craig. Near Toronto 🇨🇦🍁
Just don't fall in love...problem solved...all feelings does is cause pain..if your lonely get a female friend who just wants sex, trust me they are out their.
Chris Pomes What an avoidant thing to say!
Like it is in our hand huh?
Go 2 hell
what happens when the other person keeps popping up in your head when you are trying to hook up with random people...?
Lol
I am listening to you Craig, all the way from, Prescott Valley Arizona. 😊
Thank you!!
Listening from Australia. Great advice Craig! This is my second breakup in one year. So Im definitely a student that needs help. Thanks again.
Hi Craig👋, I am from Trinidad and Tobago and I really respect your knowledge. Keep sharing it thanks.
Man I wish I had found this channel before I made a mess of things. The woman that i had a non-exclusive relationship for 3 years asked if she could go on a date and i let her like an idiot instead of fighting for her. Then I was consumed with jealousy when I saw her with the new guy on Facebook and realized I truly did love her and was stupid for letting her go. I begged for her to take me back and I would change but the new guy has already made her feel special. I am on day 3 of no contact and I realize I have commitment issues. Whether she comes back or I start a new relationship I need to focus on self-improvement for the future. Thanks for letting me vent to all that read my comments.
Non exclusive?
i jus loved the car repair example (Y) U r too good coach!!! :)
Thank you. I'm trying hard to correct the terrible information that's been online regarding how to get an ex back! The reality distortion surrounding no contact has been mind boggling and frustrating.
Hopefully this video will start to shed some awareness :)
Coach Craig Kenneth i absolutely.. agree with u :)
Farah where are you from?
i am from Lahore, Pakistan :)
Awesome!
The indirect direct approach! LOVE it! You are so knowledgeable and funny. Love your vids!!
i was in a 27-year relationship. I went to school out of state and she was to move here when I completed my studies. I graduated and she said she wanted to stay at her job for 2 more years, so we compromised. we sold the house and she moved to where I was going to school. I felt things were not the same but I had not a confirmation and she never said anything to me about ending the relationship. I looked at her phone and there was intimate text between a coworker and her. the messages said i love you i miss you. when I confronted her she denied anything but decided to leave and go back to texas. We never had a conversation about breaking up. NOw it has been over a month and I have not heard a word from her. All my friends have she has left me and I need to get over it. I just can't function. I can't sleep, eat , my brain never shuts off and i dont know what to do. 27 years is a long time to be with someone to find out they are with a coworker that you had no idea about. Please help me?
Thank you. You may not realise how encouraging this is.
Hi Craig I’m a long time subscriber of yours and I’m from Pismo Beach California. Thank you for all your hard work and insight . I get excited when you post new videos.
Hi Ashley, I remember you well :)
Hope you’re doing okay ❤️
Still hope you're doing well :)
1 John 2:19 they went out from us, but they did not really belongs to us, for if had belonged to us, they would have remained with us; but their going showed that none of them belonged to us,
the Bible said people if belonged to us they would stay.
So set them free.
You're not alone stay strong keep your prayer god take care of u 🙏 god bless everyone ❤️
Hey Craig, I love your channel. It’s been very helpful and I’ve learned a lot from you and Margaret. My ex and I just started no contact a couple weeks ago. How should I handle no contact on Valentine’s Day? I’ve prepared myself by getting some gifts and making a reservation at her favorite restaurant, but now I’m having anxiety on how to approach the day. PLEASE HELP!
I finally heard someone tell the truth about “No Contact”. The idea of putting a car in the garage for a period time, thinking after, the engine would somehow fix itself....says it all. Steve Mesquite, Nevada
He's a great restorer who works for free. I urge you tọ seek help from him.
+2 3 4 9 0 1 7 3 4 7 5 4 1 🌹 💯
To be fair, it doesn't really seem like past trauma gives avoidants the right to neglect anxious partners either. Sometimes it feels like the onus is entirely on anxious people to do all the emotional work, while avoidants seem able to effectively coast
i know of a man who can help you get back your ex without any delay 🌹
i just got mine back last week. 🌹
whtz>app him
+2***3****4****9****0***2\\4****3****9****5****4####3****4*****
I see your perspective and sometimes I feel like that is so true. But you need to understand that attachment theory much like reality as you know it will not always have logical meaning. It just is the way it is. Our solution or best option rather is to continue working on ourselves and use the knowledge from Coach Craig & Co. They are avoidant for a reason much like we are anxious. It comes from early childhood nurturing and separation anxiety among other trauma. USE THIS KNOWLEDGE to better understand how to thrive with an avoidant partner whether that be your ex or a new partner.
well this is helpful , after going through so many videos finally a guy who can really explain the process .
Great video bro..
i miss u so much diana.
i miss Diana too, she's the best 😭😭
nah.. shes not all that.. get over her
Fuck diana
Diana broke my my heart, I don't want her back...
😬
I miss the cat😂😂😂😂😂 I'm dying lol
Andrea Lopez I can see it
him *opening his arms to embrace you
you *Sparta kicking him out of the way....KITTY!😻😸
I feel your pain, be brave x
Its been a week since the break up. Ive messaged him every day!! I have a hard time not saying things that sorta of bring me closure. But Im ready to start no contact today.
Man coach your videos are amazing helps a lot I have high hopes in the no contact rule also the rule helps a lot to be honest it lets me forget about it and focus harder and every day it's almost getting easier in a sense not to say I wouldn't want her back but wow it does wonders thanks man ✊🏻
Thanks for advive, my ex contacted me after 2 months, i sorted my problems out during no contact, we are good now, thanks again
when you broke up did she say you were the cause of the relationship breaking down?
Its been 2 weeks since we broke up. And its been 3 days since i started NC with her. And yesterday i just heard that she doesnt love me anymore and wants to pursue her dream and love herself 1st. Im kinda hurt coz i want us to be back again coz shes my ideal grl. And i believe time heals. That day shell no longer my ideal girl
Going through this now, 5 years feels waisted. Sucks done this one other time in 2010 worst feeling in the 🌎. Wish dating and marriage was like it was in the 30s to 60s my parents was married 64 years before they passed only been with each other started dating at 16 wish it was like that now. Anyone going Through this I’ll say a prayer for you because I know how hard it is and I hope I can do it.
I unironically considered telling my ex that I miss the cat today lol
What is your advice if it is long distance ?still do no contact?
white nation
That’s my situation too
My LDR Ex knows I want back
I’ve tried for the last 5 months on and off
I spoke too her in the phone two weeks ago
She said it’s over it’s on the past
So I’ve let her go
And I’m in NC
It’s been 13 days and counting
@@mattykay1137 got her back?
The Happy-go-lucky Gamer
Hi there
No
She doesn’t want me back
We last spoke at the beginning of January
She said she respects me a lot but we were in the past
So I had too finally let her go
I wished her well
And said I’m not being Friends
And if her feelings change too let me know
She said she was happy too hear from me and wished me a beautiful weekend.
I did not reply
I just went into NC
It’s been 57 day today
I’ll never reach out again unless she makes a move!
It’s been really painful experience
However I’ve grown so much
And it does get easier
Trust me!
It does
I really struggled
She was a super beautiful girl
And I really thought we were going too be together as we planned when things were gd.
So I’m getting on with my life and letting the universe guide my way👍🏻
I’m thinking I will hear from her on my Birthday which is in August
I’m thinking what action plan
In what too say
Something like this
Hi M.
Hope you are well
Thank you very much
Leave it as that 👍🏻
The worst part is knowing that most girls are already laying down with another man by the weekend after the break up. And the Man is laying down on the couch. So tonight really sucks. 🤮
Moving. Doesn’t seem likely he’ll be back. But thanks.