My grandmother always said a cluttered house, a cluttered mind. After I survived a massive heart attack I redid my entire house. Every closet, door, room etc. I repainted and focused on making my home a peaceful place for me. It helps to keep busy. It also feels so good to make a dark reality just a little lighter. Be kinder to yourself Cindy. You are allowed to be angry, pissed the F off and frustrated. I hope the vent helped. The only thing in my life right now that is 100% is my love for my family. ❤
10/10 you have Sebastian in your life. 10/10 you have enough time to get the alcohol out/decreased before a little one can get into it. Start by taking all the dust collectors down that you hate and pack them away or trash. Then pick out one room at a time (start with the smallest) to redo that room - whether it’s declutter, painting, etc. By all means don’t hesitate to put those two brothers of yours to work lol
I went thru fertility issues for years and each month when my period popped up, I was devastated. Hurt. Crushed. It came out as anger...rage...against everything and everyone. I get it. I'm glad you're letting it out. Keep it in and it will eat your lunch! I did finally have 2 sons and my world righted itself. Until puberty hit😁. You got this Manina. Grab a paintbrush, some paint and tackle a room. Just 1 room. You'll feel better, I promise. And it will keep you busy until that baby comes. Keep believing!
My father gave me very good advice. When you cannot see the forrest from the trees, walk away. Then when your ready, come back and you will have a whole bew prospective. It really works for me. Hopefully, it will for you too.❤
Back in November I euthanized my dog, husband changed jobs with a 30 plus percent pay decrease on January, Coffee pot rusted out, dryer needed to be repaired, dishwasher drain broke, weed whacker batteries both died. And in February I only had $200 total for groceries. It all finally got better a few months after my husband started the new job. I kept saying it could always be better but it could’ve been way worse. Don’t be so hard on yourself. ❤
@@dollfactory thank you. Counted my blessings that nothing was turned off, nothing was late, and nothing was taken off auto pay. And I had extra food stock in my spare bedroom.
Cynthia Victoria! You are amazing at being empathetic and vulnerable. That is a gift! You allow yourself to be open and honest, in turn that helps we who do have anxiety...say ""Yes"...we have those same feelings and it's ok. I am 100% glad you are you. Love your sign off...lovely laughter!😅
Stephied here. Start with a small area, like your bathroom. Paint it. It will brighten your day. Do things a little at a time. You don't need more stress dear.
Start small, pick a room and make one change to it. You hate the bathroom colour so get paint and do something about it; it's not more than a bottle of liqueur lol You will feel better if you can take back control over what you CAN control. If there's clutter, make a pact that any time you enter a room that you're going to pick up just ONEthing. This is how I got my home under control with chronic pain and fatigue. Small steps makes a big difference. Cicadas are kind of awesome 😅 I get you need to vent though .. We all have seasons like this, but that's why I think you will benefit by working towards bringing something you love into your space. Even just starting with a linen closet can make a huge difference ❤
@@CindyVicBut....try not to let that one small thing that you start overwhelm you! Maybe make a list of all of those things you hate and want to change, write down where you would start first. What would you like to do different. The painting, is the easiest....just tape off around the doors and ceilings with the cheap Dollar Tree blue painters tape and try out some color. The best thing about a person with OCD is that they worry about their work, the worst thing about a person who has OCD, is knowing that you're doing the work! You get to be in the driver's seat....that's a powerful place to be! Put that bitch into turbo drive and let it go!
Cindy, I'm literally dropping tears...I wish I could hug you❤❤ I wish you could feel the joy you emit. I feel it just watching you. Your beautiful smile and contagious laugh. That is what's 100 for me.
One room, one space at a time. Clean a room a day or take a week to do One Space to not Feel Overwhelmed. Throw things away you're over with. Start w the Living room. You will Feel better about it once u work on it.
I am so sorry you’re going through all this 😥🤗 Unfortunately I’ve learned that when it rains it pours, right now your in the thick of it, but soon you will come out the other side. I feel you, I’m not handy either. I live in a Highrise Condo built in the early 80s. Very dated, I have studio light mirror in my bathroom, hideous! You vent, get it out! We are here for you. Go visit Steph and Bogie, they will lift your spirits. Take care 🤗☺️😊🥰
100% in my life right now (and always) is my pets. They are unconditionally there for me and comfort me and make me smile every day. ❤❤😊😊 I know you hate cats but i surround myself with them and they keep me sane and grounded. 💕💕
I know people are suggesting to paint or do things around the house to make you feel better, but i suffer from depression and HATE the state of my house but realized that i need to hire a handyman to take care if the things i know ill never do, including yard work! I always feel way better after i hire someone to come and do the thinks i cant. TLDR: hire someone to replace your fan. You CAN afford it. Then kater hire someone to paint your kitchen accent wall. You CAN afford it. Then later hire someone to fix the things you want updated! Baby steps but its SO worth it! Especially if you know you are never going to get to it!! ❤❤❤❤
I think we can all relate to most of what you are feeling. First off, get you some Flonase Nasal Spray for your allergies. It really helps a bunch. In regards to your house, start with one room at a time. Pick out the way you want it and then do one thing to it that you can do yourself/afford. Whether it is paint, rug, new art work, curtains or packing away old stuff you don't want etc. The more you accomplish the more you will start to feel good. I have no help, and don't have the enormous amount of money they charge for repairs, paint, floors etc. I have actually learned to do a lot by watching RUclips videos! I'm in the process of doing my house now and have been for a while, but I can finally start to see light at the end of the tunnel and it feels so good. I hated for someone to come in and see it before. Keep you chin up! The rages don't last and know that tomorrow is a new day!
Hi Cindy, I love watching your videos, I think it's so brave and amazing to talk about the struggles you have been going thru with your fertility. I think talking about it can and will help other women going thru similar situations. I love how brutally honest you are it's actually refreshing. You will be blessed with a child and you will be a wonderful, caring and loving mother, that child will be lucky to have you and your husband as their parents.❤
The house is my house ! Omg I feel you! I appreciate all the things 🙏 and am grateful. That doesn't take away from your truths or feelings. I get it. Sending you hugs. ❤❤ I hope that things take a turn for the better. I love how real and raw you are. Love you, girl.
Aw I am so sorry that you were not pregnant. Maybe you’re just fed up right now? Try and focus on the good like you are a beautiful successful woman and truly the hormones are going g wild. That cannot be easy for you mentally. I hope today you have had a much better day. I think it’s awesome that you can’t rant and get it all out. It’s worse to hold it all in.
Cindy, you have the right to rage. We all have those points in our lives that we feel like that. I am over 60 years old and I have been married 40 years. NOTHING is ever perfect. I just love you I love watching your content. If I lived closer I would come over and help you make your home your happy place.
Girl, your feelings are 100% valid. Everyone doesn't work through their problems the same exact way, you do you, and tell the haters to go suck it!! LOL!!! I know this may not agree with a lot of women out there....... but my husband is my constant happy place. I say this because, my husband is the only person I've ever known, that I've felt comfortable enough to give 100% of myself too. But I know I'm not an easy person to live with, however, he willingly takes care of all of my health and trust issues, kisses my emotional scars and shows me daily, how love is really suppose to be like. He's definitely my soul mate and my forever!! 😊 Sending you a bunch more love, hugs and positive energy, to wrap around yourself again, giving you the strength so you can straighten up your crown, and go slay that dragon!! I love ya, Chicka!! ❤❤❤
I love your brown that you hate !- and the tree painting! Rage girl! Let it out! Get it out! But you should get rid of all the items you hate, then only get things you really like to replace it. Take your time so you ‘ll know it when you see it.
Your house is nice, there are lots of things that you could do though with things you hate that are really easy to remedy. There was a time when I didn’t have a clue how to do anything but I got so pissed looking and hating what I was seeing I started with a tin of paint and I was off now many years later I can do most anything except electrics because I’m scared to mess with it. I wish I lived closer to you I would come over and help you, but you can do this start small with what you hate the most and you will feel so good about it you will want to carry on.
I get it chic! When it rains it pours, always seems like it’s something all the time. I know ppl that have tried getting pregnant and couldn’t. It kinda seems like when someone puts so much energy and focus into trying to have a baby that it doesn’t happen, maybe it’s from the worrying about it to much and soon as they aren’t thinking about it as much and let the worry of it go then they get pregnant if that makes sense. Far as your house like others have mentioned take it one room at a time and eventually it will be how you want it. My husband and I rent and we’ve moved so much that I don’t bother with decorating walls or anything anymore it’s just too much. I get so frustrated with things & I vent almost everyday about something. I feel for you having so much going on and all the anxiety that comes with it. Hoping your day gets better beautiful ❤
Cindy sweetheart, give yourself some grace right now. Your hurting. Be patient with yourself, this will pass and you will be in a better place. I so feel for you! ❤
All that is temporary Cynthia. Everything can be fixed. Try not to stress you look so beautiful and you have your health and that’s all that matters. ❤😊
You’re a great massage therapist and good friend and sister to Stephanie and best auntie to Sebastian!! I’m so sorry you’re going through this right now. I get like this sometimes too. Love you, praying for you.
Also..I am 100% glad to watch you….. a true human go through life and its challenges. It’s not always roses and daisies…. You are real. You help people by relating to someone that just doesn’t post about “happy” times… and just post about unrealistic things. You are normal! Not fake! And it’s comforting to see.
Missed you been waiting for a new video,aww I'm so sorry honey I don't know never give up but I couldn't imagine what you're going through and I feel really bad for you but there's a lot of babies that people don't want and I almost adopted a little girl❤❤❤❤ lots of love and hearts for you and prayers
i'm so sorry Cythina ! I really hope and pray things get better for you . I know how hard it is believe me . from 2012 straight until now our lives have been pretty messed up as well , we keep saying to ourselfs things will get better but when . the most biggest thing right now is watching my husnand dye with his CLL Cancer no cure he can't stand alone anymore or walk alone anymore . we have to walk everywhere no vehicle and all his organs are clasping . its really fucking hard . i'm sorry excuse my mouth and yes you are right maybe there are other people worse off but sometimes sure as hell doesn't feel it and i have been out of work since 2020 I have to watch over my husband and our adult children because they suffer from ADHD, OCD, paraionina ,and my youngest has seizers like his dad my oldest doesn't ! Life isn't easy at all you said a mouth full kiddo , i just thought i would explain how it can be and i know you get that cause you and stephanie are the true lady's we all know and love , and bye the way you have a beautiful house yeah maybe a few repairs have to be done , but I can still see and feel the love coming from you and your hubby , you take care my sweetheart and know everything will be ok alright ♥♥🙏
One thing ar atime! Makealist of just 5 things thar a attainable, DO Them and check off each thing so you can ss the progress! You will feel so much better and constructive, you are a beautiful soul! ❤❤❤
You are such an amazing woman in my eyes. Your are beautiful and REAL. You are such an awesome aunt to Sebastian and you are always joyous. Things will turn around. Love prayers and lots of love your wayb💕💕💕 and you need to vent. Don't hold it in. 💕and your feelings are valid
I love you always and forever . . . Maybe!. . . !!!!! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 Girl, it’s all relative I live in a 24 foot trailer with my husband and 3 year old. To me your home looks like an endless gigantic space! I can’t hardly remember the last time I had that much space to move around in. And a spare bedroom! Ha! My kid sleeps 6 feet away from my husband and I with a curtain as privacy. But, I agree with you. Clear it out. Clear out the clutter and ugly pointless decorations and you’ll feel 100 times better. Randomly clicked on this. Have never seen you before but glad I did cuz I found the house tour refreshing and funny. ❤ Best of luck to you! Hope you get to grow your family soon. ❤
Girl we are like twins when we are having things go wrong we sit there and think of everything that's wrong just to stress ourselves out that much more and I agree with you thank God for Prozac😂😂😂 love ya hope your having a better day
Omg I love how you describe your house. It sounds like me with my house. I've been in my house since 2017, and during COVID, I painted all of the downstairs, and it looked horrible!! And we just had the downstairs repainted by professional 😂
Our feelings are valid ... especially when you realize that you do have some things better than ours but you're feelings are valid. I'm going through it too. What's good in my life ? Ummm 🤔 I live in Arizona and I have shelter. Nothing is awesome right now but we're working on it.
Cindy (((((((((hug)))))))), let it out. You got this. It’s a bump in the road go with it. It’s all going to work out. But let it out. Vent……. Sending 💕 your way.
You're absolutely no different from the rest of us. I'm so very sorry that your pregnancy journey has been so stressful and heartbreaking. When I say no different than the rest of us, I'm alluding to the house "to- do" list. I kick myself all of the time about being more proactive about general home "upkeep" . I'm slowly pecking away at my own "Honey-do" list. When dealing with any depression, regular tasks feel so overwhelming! I get it, and I'm not even dealing with fertility. Please give yourself a break and take one task at a time. ALSO...celebrate days that you accomplish any tasks that you need yo attend to. You deserve it! Luv U!
This is the real me. I'm 55 years old. I started teaching so very young. This is my last year to teach. I've taught precious Kindergartners for 34 years with no babies of my own. This upcoming year will be my last. I've even taught the children of students I had years ago. It's so bittersweet and I mourn the children I was never able to have of my own. I've had to make peace with a different life and am fortunate to have met the most tender life partner Doctor who also has never been married, or had any children of his own either. He's an Angel and I don't know what I did to deserve him. Thank you for sharing your personal struggles and precious family with us!
Cindy, I'm so sorry for all you're dealing with. Your feelings are valid and matter. Your home should be your peaceful place. If I went thru my house like you did, I'd be in tears! No lie!! Right now I have to fill my toilet tank to flush it! And it's always something!! This morning a bear was in my yard, trying to grab my garbage when my grandson had to go out for his van! I'm like WTH??? Just know you are loved sweet girl and we support you!!! ❤
🎉I think you need to declutter your home and your mind sweetheart and don't be hard on yourself be kind to yourself trust me it's going to happen take my advice I'm 59 and was never kind to myself I never thought I was good enough for anything even though it wasn't up to me as a kid. Go see that handsome young man Sebastian xxxx just remember your human ❤
I always think its good to allow yourself to be mad for a few hours to get it out of your system .... tomorrow is a new day. I hope you feel better soon ❤
Hoping tomorrow will be a bit brighter for you. Speaking of bright. We have a light at the top of the stairs in our house (hard to reach) that comes on only when it feels like doing so. LOL.
Just take one room at a time. Clear the clutter, paint the wall that you want to paint etc. Then you take the next room when your finances allows for it. One step at a time. And when it's all done, then you tackle the flooring. If you do floor first, you might damage it again with paintdrops or whatever. Leave it for last. And then while you are doing things in your home, your mind will be busy with something else, and that baby that you so desperately want and deserve, will be there. Hugs to you, and know that you can always vent here. I am sure that many of us feel frustrated, alone and vulnerable and can relate. Even if our circumstances are different from each other. Feelings are feelings and they are valid. Much love. ❤
Cynthia, I am a big believer in signs. The light that only goes off when the switch is in the middle could be a metaphor in your life. You're "in the middle" maybe? You're "on the fence"? Think on this. Out of love, I hope you will be still, quiet your mind and be honest about what you want for your life. The cicada could also be a sign that something is bugging you. I think so many of us here can relate to you in so many ways. My house is run down too. Could never have company. Husband not handy and the paint falling off the walls, floors a mess don't have any effect on him. Not enough money and my body is too tired. Love you❤
Sit down make a list of everything you want done. Remember needs before wants. You have pretty minor things that can be done by a handyman or an electrician. Get quotes. Take out a heloc. I rage too. Dont have a baby before your home is in order. Once that baby comes it will never get done. Then you will start to resent your husband which you are doing already. You have a lovely home. The floors are your priority for now. I agree with you on that one. ❤
Paint is an easy fix and not that expensive. Pick the most used room like the living room area. Change the paint. Get throw rugs rearrange the furniture. Get accent pillows. Put the bike in a bedroom. Go to home goods or ross and get inexpensive wall decor
You look very beautiful when you are raged! Glad you share with us… we are here for you! If I win the lotto you will be the first one I share with!! In all reality it is good you are getting rid of your bad bibs to make room for all the joy coming your way.. keep working hard for your dreams.. all else will happen- promise.. you got what it takes.. you spent a long weekend filling everyone’s cup, beer , wine,, etc etc with your talents and sparkling contagious personality! Need to refuel your cups! YOU are the BEST! F’ the REST! Oceans of Love, Hope , Joy and Blessings!!!!
Cynthia, thank you for sharing your rage episode. Many of us have been there and the fertility journey can be long and feel devastating at times. Today's vlog helped all of us who have been through it to understand we are not alone and helps those who have never been through it to witness the roller coaster of emotions we endure. It's such a build up, then a let down, then a build up, and then another let down which can happen again and again and again. Every let down takes another piece of your heart with it. You blame yourself, you blame your partner, you blame God, you blame the doctor - hell, I even blamed my neighbour because he ran his mower on Sundays and caused me sleep deprivation so it was his fault. The disappointment rears its ugly head everywhere you look. You can't make a baby - you can't fix your house - everything seems like it is crumbling around you and it is hard to see the light. The frustration explodes. I hear you girl. Keep keeping on and being the wonderful person you are. You are a young and vibrant lady and the light will shine on you because of that. Don't give up the fight. We all support you. Ther eis a light at the end of that tunnel. 😘
Hi Cindy! I have days where everything irritates me too and having allergies makes things worse. I take pills & I use a nasal spray. Try a nasal spray. They are VERY helpful. Some days, that's all I need and my allergies are bad. Take care & know that things WILL get better :D
I think that you have a lot going on at the moment my love. Fertility issues can be crushing affecting every part of your life. I wish that there was some way I could offer some constructive help but it's such a personal time that you are gong through that words sometimes are not enough. It's a shame that you don't live in England as you would be able to get fertility treatment free on the NHS. My thoughts are with you and all I can offer is that things will get better sweetie. One thing that is 100% in my life is that I am sat eating a, very delicious cookie and drinking a warming cup of tea☕. Stay strong and love to you from not so sunny England.
Cindy…..I hear you about not being happy in your space, I went through depression for the past few years and I feel like every space I have is an f’in cluttered mess like my depressed cluttered brain feels! Like everywhere I look! I gotta try to get my shit together this summer…..but know we feel you and are here for you!!! ❤ I’m soooo NOT 100% rn! Lol! 😂 JS! I’m right there with you!
You are valid in what u are saying , I am glad u are not phony . You are just being real and raw!!! Things are going to get better!!!! Hang in there!!!!!☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️🥰
Infertility sucks so bad! I went through it And the sadness And disappointment i used to feel where overwhelming..... Just remember what ever you re going through, Good or bad, it will pass, things do change. There where times i Said to myself nothing could be worse than this, And something worse did actually happen. What i see when i watch your videos is the beautiful family you have And how close you all are, that right there is treasure. Hope that things change for you soon
Oh my goodness! Section 8? You got to focus on what you can do that will make a difference. We are so alike in this area. My poor husband has to talk me outta my tree. ( That’s what I call it ) I feel like I’m at the top swing throwing rocks because I can! Hell I’m here for ya. Throw a paint party and have the alcohol after so the paint isn’t every where. 🥰😍 Big ole Hug 🤗
Those dang periods! It will happen girl ❤ Give yourself a break, please! Focus on things you would like to do and/or need to do. Sending lots of hugs and love❤ I'm sad for you😊😊😊😊😊😊 ❤️
My best friends wedding……..we all seriously don’t know what to do with ourselves. Sometimes I don’t want to go home and I sit in a parking lot in my car and think about life…
I’ve been going through much the same with my house, I was so into grey then it just all of a sudden got on my nerves, now everything is white lol. I get the baby problems I had a rough time conceiving. Did end up with two great children, after several miscarriages. I used to feel life was so unfair when all our friends had children, but you will be a mum eventually. Your meant to be a mum, you’re so brilliant with Sebastian. Take care, it will all come good in the end xxx
F’ing infuckingfratility sucks!!! Been there many times over. Had 14 miscarriages and then lost my son at 5 days old. Two marriages later and a lot in between. That was a long time (my beautiful daughters are now 23 and 24). But I get that you are mad, raging, sad, frustrated, etc etc. it just sucks. Vent away. It’s ok to feel all your feelings. ❤❤❤
Girrrll... Exact same at my house. Then i just get pissed that i haven't done anything about it, and ignore it for longer. I figure it'll get done when I'm in the right head space for it. Hang in there!
Have you tried glitter hairspray or one of those glitter sprays that you can make from scratch for the walls?? My mom made me a wreath and I sprayed it with glitter hairspray and it was magical! lol
👋🙂Cynthia.V, Its so good to see👀you again!👋✨👊Don't worry my sista friend, there will be better days ahead.👊✨🕊Prayers headed your way.✨ 🕊Takecare, we all love and care about you. 🙋How'd and love from Texas.💞 (💚✌💜)
My grandmother always said a cluttered house, a cluttered mind. After I survived a massive heart attack I redid my entire house. Every closet, door, room etc. I repainted and focused on making my home a peaceful place for me. It helps to keep busy. It also feels so good to make a dark reality just a little lighter. Be kinder to yourself Cindy. You are allowed to be angry, pissed the F off and frustrated. I hope the vent helped. The only thing in my life right now that is 100% is my love for my family. ❤
10/10 you have Sebastian in your life. 10/10 you have enough time to get the alcohol out/decreased before a little one can get into it. Start by taking all the dust collectors down that you hate and pack them away or trash. Then pick out one room at a time (start with the smallest) to redo that room - whether it’s declutter, painting, etc. By all means don’t hesitate to put those two brothers of yours to work lol
I went thru fertility issues for years and each month when my period popped up, I was devastated. Hurt. Crushed. It came out as anger...rage...against everything and everyone. I get it. I'm glad you're letting it out. Keep it in and it will eat your lunch! I did finally have 2 sons and my world righted itself. Until puberty hit😁. You got this Manina. Grab a paintbrush, some paint and tackle a room. Just 1 room. You'll feel better, I promise. And it will keep you busy until that baby comes. Keep believing!
Your feelings are valid. We support you girl
My father gave me very good advice. When you cannot see the forrest from the trees, walk away. Then when your ready, come back and you will have a whole bew prospective. It really works for me. Hopefully, it will for you too.❤
Back in November I euthanized my dog, husband changed jobs with a 30 plus percent pay decrease on January, Coffee pot rusted out, dryer needed to be repaired, dishwasher drain broke, weed whacker batteries both died. And in February I only had $200 total for groceries. It all finally got better a few months after my husband started the new job. I kept saying it could always be better but it could’ve been way worse. Don’t be so hard on yourself. ❤
Glad things have gotten better!!! 😊😊😊
@@dollfactory thank you. Counted my blessings that nothing was turned off, nothing was late, and nothing was taken off auto pay. And I had extra food stock in my spare bedroom.
Oh, my Sweetheart!!! Too damn much to endure! Women are so very strong. My heart aches for you!
Oh, Sweetheart... it's ok of you have a bit of self-pity.... That's rough, and you deserve to take some self- time to prepare to move ahead!
Oh, Sweetie...so very sorry!!!
Cynthia Victoria! You are amazing at being empathetic and vulnerable. That is a gift! You allow yourself to be open and honest, in turn that helps we who do have anxiety...say ""Yes"...we have those same feelings and it's ok. I am 100% glad you are you. Love your sign off...lovely laughter!😅
Stephied here. Start with a small area, like your bathroom. Paint it. It will brighten your day. Do things a little at a time. You don't need more stress dear.
That is such good advice!!!!
Yes, one room at a time is the best. I’m working on my house now that we got. And I do one room at a time or I get stressed out and over whelmed.
100%...small steps!
Oh Cindy, 😢take one thing at a time. ❤
Cindy-keep your head up!! Things will get better..I don’t know how|when, however, I am convinced everything will be alright!! This too shall pass..
Start small, pick a room and make one change to it. You hate the bathroom colour so get paint and do something about it; it's not more than a bottle of liqueur lol You will feel better if you can take back control over what you CAN control. If there's clutter, make a pact that any time you enter a room that you're going to pick up just ONEthing. This is how I got my home under control with chronic pain and fatigue. Small steps makes a big difference.
Cicadas are kind of awesome 😅 I get you need to vent though .. We all have seasons like this, but that's why I think you will benefit by working towards bringing something you love into your space. Even just starting with a linen closet can make a huge difference ❤
This made me feel good! Thank you! You’re right I just need to do it!!!!
@@CindyVic Yay! 🤗 Now the fun begins.. What colour will you pick!? 😁
@@CindyVicBut....try not to let that one small thing that you start overwhelm you! Maybe make a list of all of those things you hate and want to change, write down where you would start first. What would you like to do different. The painting, is the easiest....just tape off around the doors and ceilings with the cheap Dollar Tree blue painters tape and try out some color. The best thing about a person with OCD is that they worry about their work, the worst thing about a person who has OCD, is knowing that you're doing the work! You get to be in the driver's seat....that's a powerful place to be! Put that bitch into turbo drive and let it go!
I know exactly how you are feeling! Our houses have the same vibe. Ugh...say no more! I'm raging for you and with you. Just know you aren't alone
Cindy, I'm literally dropping tears...I wish I could hug you❤❤
I wish you could feel the joy you emit. I feel it just watching you. Your beautiful smile and contagious laugh. That is what's 100 for me.
Let it out you don’t need to keep it all balled up. I am so sorry you’re going through all this. Love ya ❤❤
One room, one space at a time. Clean a room a day or take a week to do
One Space to not
Feel
Overwhelmed. Throw things away you're over with. Start w the
Living room. You will
Feel better about it once u work on it.
The light at the end was really a full circle moment
How’s your tooth ❤❤❤
I love scrolling through the comments and boom, there you were! Love this!!! I think she needs a little time with Bogie to get herself centered. Yup!
I am so sorry you’re going through all this 😥🤗 Unfortunately I’ve learned that when it rains it pours, right now your in the thick of it, but soon you will come out the other side. I feel you, I’m not handy either. I live in a Highrise Condo built in the early 80s. Very dated, I have studio light mirror in my bathroom, hideous! You vent, get it out! We are here for you. Go visit Steph and Bogie, they will lift your spirits. Take care 🤗☺️😊🥰
Im seeing them today thank god
Bogie 😊😊😊😊😊 I love it!!
100% in my life right now (and always) is my pets. They are unconditionally there for me and comfort me and make me smile every day. ❤❤😊😊 I know you hate cats but i surround myself with them and they keep me sane and grounded. 💕💕
I know people are suggesting to paint or do things around the house to make you feel better, but i suffer from depression and HATE the state of my house but realized that i need to hire a handyman to take care if the things i know ill never do, including yard work! I always feel way better after i hire someone to come and do the thinks i cant.
TLDR: hire someone to replace your fan. You CAN afford it. Then kater hire someone to paint your kitchen accent wall. You CAN afford it. Then later hire someone to fix the things you want updated! Baby steps but its SO worth it! Especially if you know you are never going to get to it!! ❤❤❤❤
I love it how you keep it real. I feel the same way. I like how you don’t care what anybody else thinks just be yourself.
Cindy it's ok honey just start one thing at a time, and the baby will come along, things will come along ❤😊
Please don't overwhelm yoursel!
My sweet little dog is 100%! I don’t know how I would make it without her!! 🐾💓
I think we can all relate to most of what you are feeling. First off, get you some Flonase Nasal Spray for your allergies. It really helps a bunch. In regards to your house, start with one room at a time. Pick out the way you want it and then do one thing to it that you can do yourself/afford. Whether it is paint, rug, new art work, curtains or packing away old stuff you don't want etc. The more you accomplish the more you will start to feel good. I have no help, and don't have the enormous amount of money they charge for repairs, paint, floors etc. I have actually learned to do a lot by watching RUclips videos! I'm in the process of doing my house now and have been for a while, but I can finally start to see light at the end of the tunnel and it feels so good. I hated for someone to come in and see it before. Keep you chin up! The rages don't last and know that tomorrow is a new day!
Send the videos you find the most handy over to me please!
Hi Cindy, I love watching your videos, I think it's so brave and amazing to talk about the struggles you have been going thru with your fertility. I think talking about it can and will help other women going thru similar situations. I love how brutally honest you are it's actually refreshing. You will be blessed with a child and you will be a wonderful, caring and loving mother, that child will be lucky to have you and your husband as their parents.❤
The house is my house ! Omg I feel you! I appreciate all the things 🙏 and am grateful. That doesn't take away from your truths or feelings. I get it. Sending you hugs. ❤❤ I hope that things take a turn for the better. I love how real and raw you are. Love you, girl.
Aw I am so sorry that you were not pregnant. Maybe you’re just fed up right now? Try and focus on the good like you are a beautiful successful woman and truly the hormones are going g wild. That cannot be easy for you mentally. I hope today you have had a much better day. I think it’s awesome that you can’t rant and get it all out. It’s worse to hold it all in.
I Am So With You - Been There - Just Hang In There - You Are So Special - Love You (a grandmother 86 years old
Cindy, you have the right to rage. We all have those points in our lives that we feel like that. I am over 60 years old and I have been married 40 years. NOTHING is ever perfect. I just love you I love watching your content. If I lived closer I would come over and help you make your home your happy place.
Girl, your feelings are 100% valid. Everyone doesn't work through their problems the same exact way, you do you, and tell the haters to go suck it!! LOL!!!
I know this may not agree with a lot of women out there....... but my husband is my constant happy place. I say this because, my husband is the only person I've ever known, that I've felt comfortable enough to give 100% of myself too. But I know I'm not an easy person to live with, however, he willingly takes care of all of my health and trust issues, kisses my emotional scars and shows me daily, how love is really suppose to be like. He's definitely my soul mate and my forever!! 😊
Sending you a bunch more love, hugs and positive energy, to wrap around yourself again, giving you the strength so you can straighten up your crown, and go slay that dragon!! I love ya, Chicka!! ❤❤❤
Awwww I’m glad he’s so supportive 🫶🏼 you freaking deserve that!!!!
I love your brown that you hate !- and the tree painting!
Rage girl! Let it out! Get it out! But you should get rid of all the items you hate, then only get things you really like to replace it. Take your time so you ‘ll know it when you see it.
Aww Cindy... Im so sorry you are going through this. You have every right to vent. I will listen! Hugs for a better day❤
Your house is nice, there are lots of things that you could do though with things you hate that are really easy to remedy. There was a time when I didn’t have a clue how to do anything but I got so pissed looking and hating what I was seeing I started with a tin of paint and I was off now many years later I can do most anything except electrics because I’m scared to mess with it. I wish I lived closer to you I would come over and help you, but you can do this start small with what you hate the most and you will feel so good about it you will want to carry on.
Oh Cindy, sending you virtual hugs. It will be ok, ok
I get it chic! When it rains it pours, always seems like it’s something all the time. I know ppl that have tried getting pregnant and couldn’t. It kinda seems like when someone puts so much energy and focus into trying to have a baby that it doesn’t happen, maybe it’s from the worrying about it to much and soon as they aren’t thinking about it as much and let the worry of it go then they get pregnant if that makes sense. Far as your house like others have mentioned take it one room at a time and eventually it will be how you want it. My husband and I rent and we’ve moved so much that I don’t bother with decorating walls or anything anymore it’s just too much. I get so frustrated with things & I vent almost everyday about something. I feel for you having so much going on and all the anxiety that comes with it. Hoping your day gets better beautiful ❤
Cindy sweetheart, give yourself some grace right now. Your hurting. Be patient with yourself, this will pass and you will be in a better place. I so feel for you! ❤
Oh Cindy I feel so bad for you, give yourself a break, you are a beautiful person.
I can totally relate! ♥you're AWESOME!!
People use an envelope system for each room also, so maybe you should try that and fix one room at a time ❤
All that is temporary Cynthia. Everything can be fixed. Try not to stress you look so beautiful and you have your health and that’s all that matters. ❤😊
You’re a great massage therapist and good friend and sister to Stephanie and best auntie to Sebastian!! I’m so sorry you’re going through this right now. I get like this sometimes too. Love you, praying for you.
Sending you big hugs Cindy… I hope everything works out for you hun..
I'm very sorry. The shit just never stops coming. Love ya girl
I’m so sorry ur going through this alone big hug 🫂 ur way
Also..I am 100% glad to watch you….. a true human go through life and its challenges. It’s not always roses and daisies…. You are real. You help people by relating to someone that just doesn’t post about “happy” times… and just post about unrealistic things. You are normal! Not fake! And it’s comforting to see.
I'm your friend for life. Enough said. I'll be here for you. Hugs
Missed you been waiting for a new video,aww I'm so sorry honey I don't know never give up but I couldn't imagine what you're going through and I feel really bad for you but there's a lot of babies that people don't want and I almost adopted a little girl❤❤❤❤ lots of love and hearts for you and prayers
i'm so sorry Cythina ! I really hope and pray things get better for you . I know how hard it is believe me . from 2012 straight until now our lives have been pretty messed up as well , we keep saying to ourselfs things will get better but when . the most biggest thing right now is watching my husnand dye with his CLL Cancer no cure he can't stand alone anymore or walk alone anymore . we have to walk everywhere no vehicle and all his organs are clasping . its really fucking hard . i'm sorry excuse my mouth and yes you are right maybe there are other people worse off but sometimes sure as hell doesn't feel it and i have been out of work since 2020 I have to watch over my husband and our adult children because they suffer from ADHD, OCD, paraionina ,and my youngest has seizers like his dad my oldest doesn't ! Life isn't easy at all you said a mouth full kiddo , i just thought i would explain how it can be and i know you get that cause you and stephanie are the true lady's we all know and love , and bye the way you have a beautiful house yeah maybe a few repairs have to be done , but I can still see and feel the love coming from you and your hubby , you take care my sweetheart and know everything will be ok alright ♥♥🙏
One thing ar atime! Makealist of just 5 things thar a attainable, DO Them and check off each thing so you can ss the progress! You will feel so much better and constructive, you are a beautiful soul! ❤❤❤
Venting and letting it all out is a good thing! ❤
I'm praying for you 🙏 I was just dx with lung cancer. I feel for you. Yes I do question him. I do have 3 kids and 3 grandkids that I am thankful for.
Omg I’m sorry 😩 that makes me so sad
My best friends wedding.....my favorite!!! Hoping the best for your family. Praying for good results girl❤
hi chickadee..so sorry to see you having such a bad day..prayers that Jesus gifts you with healing self love happiness ..
You are such an amazing woman in my eyes. Your are beautiful and REAL. You are such an awesome aunt to Sebastian and you are always joyous. Things will turn around. Love prayers and lots of love your wayb💕💕💕 and you need to vent. Don't hold it in. 💕and your feelings are valid
I love you always and forever . . .
Maybe!. . . !!!!!
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Girl, it’s all relative
I live in a 24 foot trailer with my husband and 3 year old.
To me your home looks like an endless gigantic space! I can’t hardly remember the last time I had that much space to move around in. And a spare bedroom!
Ha! My kid sleeps 6 feet away from my husband and I with a curtain as privacy.
But, I agree with you.
Clear it out. Clear out the clutter and ugly pointless decorations and you’ll feel 100 times better.
Randomly clicked on this.
Have never seen you before but glad I did cuz I found the house tour refreshing and funny. ❤
Best of luck to you!
Hope you get to grow your family soon. ❤
Well welcome to my channel! I’m a hot mental mess!
Just take a big breaths and do 1 step at a time
It's going to be OK
Love you
Girl we are like twins when we are having things go wrong we sit there and think of everything that's wrong just to stress ourselves out that much more and I agree with you thank God for Prozac😂😂😂 love ya hope your having a better day
Omg I love how you describe your house. It sounds like me with my house. I've been in my house since 2017, and during COVID, I painted all of the downstairs, and it looked horrible!! And we just had the downstairs repainted by professional 😂
Our feelings are valid ... especially when you realize that you do have some things better than ours but you're feelings are valid. I'm going through it too. What's good in my life ? Ummm 🤔 I live in Arizona and I have shelter. Nothing is awesome right now but we're working on it.
Be in your feelings today then move on. Life never turns out how we expected it to. Turn your lemons into lemonade ❤❤❤❤
Yea I feel better today 🫶🏼 thank you
Wish we lived close, i know how to do most of those things. I would barter with you for facials and bangin body butter.
Dude I totally would trade!!!!!
God Bless You 🙏
You gonna be a great mom one day ❤💙💞
Cindy (((((((((hug)))))))), let it out. You got this. It’s a bump in the road go with it. It’s all going to work out. But let it out. Vent……. Sending 💕 your way.
You're absolutely no different from the rest of us. I'm so very sorry that your pregnancy journey has been so stressful and heartbreaking. When I say no different than the rest of us, I'm alluding to the house "to- do" list.
I kick myself all of the time about being more proactive about general home "upkeep" . I'm slowly pecking away at my own "Honey-do" list. When dealing with any depression, regular tasks feel so overwhelming! I get it, and I'm not even dealing with fertility. Please give yourself a break and take one task at a time. ALSO...celebrate days that you accomplish any tasks that you need yo attend to. You deserve it! Luv U!
I really feel like you understand me. I love you and I love your comments! You bring me peace and we should be friends.
Get you girl!
This is the real me. I'm 55 years old. I started teaching so very young. This is my last year to teach. I've taught precious Kindergartners for 34 years with no babies of my own. This upcoming year will be my last. I've even taught the children of students I had years ago. It's so bittersweet and I mourn the children I was never able to have of my own. I've had to make peace with a different life and am fortunate to have met the most tender life partner Doctor who also has never been married, or had any children of his own either. He's an Angel and I don't know what I did to deserve him. Thank you for sharing your personal struggles and precious family with us!
I just love your realness😂
Cindy, I'm so sorry for all you're dealing with. Your feelings are valid and matter. Your home should be your peaceful place. If I went thru my house like you did, I'd be in tears! No lie!! Right now I have to fill my toilet tank to flush it! And it's always something!! This morning a bear was in my yard, trying to grab my garbage when my grandson had to go out for his van! I'm like WTH??? Just know you are loved sweet girl and we support you!!! ❤
🎉I think you need to declutter your home and your mind sweetheart and don't be hard on yourself be kind to yourself trust me it's going to happen take my advice I'm 59 and was never kind to myself I never thought I was good enough for anything even though it wasn't up to me as a kid. Go see that handsome young man Sebastian xxxx just remember your human ❤
I always think its good to allow yourself to be mad for a few hours to get it out of your system .... tomorrow is a new day. I hope you feel better soon ❤
Hoping tomorrow will be a bit brighter for you. Speaking of bright. We have a light at the top of the stairs in our house (hard to reach) that comes on only when it feels like doing so. LOL.
Just take one room at a time. Clear the clutter, paint the wall that you want to paint etc. Then you take the next room when your finances allows for it. One step at a time. And when it's all done, then you tackle the flooring. If you do floor first, you might damage it again with paintdrops or whatever. Leave it for last. And then while you are doing things in your home, your mind will be busy with something else, and that baby that you so desperately want and deserve, will be there. Hugs to you, and know that you can always vent here. I am sure that many of us feel frustrated, alone and vulnerable and can relate. Even if our circumstances are different from each other. Feelings are feelings and they are valid. Much love. ❤
Cynthia, I am a big believer in signs. The light that only goes off when the switch is in the middle could be a metaphor in your life. You're "in the middle" maybe? You're "on the fence"? Think on this. Out of love, I hope you will be still, quiet your mind and be honest about what you want for your life. The cicada could also be a sign that something is bugging you. I think so many of us here can relate to you in so many ways. My house is run down too. Could never have company. Husband not handy and the paint falling off the walls, floors a mess don't have any effect on him. Not enough money and my body is too tired. Love you❤
Girl, you are not a negative person at all. Life is hard, and you are keeping it real. ❤
Always keeping it real! ❤
Sit down make a list of everything you want done. Remember needs before wants. You have pretty minor things that can be done by a handyman or an electrician. Get quotes. Take out a heloc. I rage too. Dont have a baby before your home is in order. Once that baby comes it will never get done. Then you will start to resent your husband which you are doing already. You have a lovely home. The floors are your priority for now. I agree with you on that one. ❤
Hugs❤ one day, it will happen. And I love your sun glasses
10/10 you just got back from Mexico. 10/10 great family. You have a good husband. You're beautiful.
Paint is an easy fix and not that expensive. Pick the most used room like the living room area. Change the paint. Get throw rugs rearrange the furniture. Get accent pillows. Put the bike in a bedroom. Go to home goods or ross and get inexpensive wall decor
I'm sorry. I wish better days ahead for you ❤
Yes I've been there through a lot of depression same thing you're going through so that one I can understand hun sorry you're going through that
HUGS, I know your feelings and they suck 100% but you have all the right to express it and vent it helps so much with frustration, Hang in there
You look very beautiful when you are raged! Glad you share with us… we are here for you! If I win the lotto you will be the first one I share with!! In all reality it is good you are getting rid of your bad bibs to make room for all the joy coming your way.. keep working hard for your dreams.. all else will happen- promise.. you got what it takes.. you spent a long weekend filling everyone’s cup, beer , wine,, etc etc with your talents and sparkling contagious personality! Need to refuel your cups! YOU are the BEST! F’ the REST! Oceans of Love, Hope , Joy and Blessings!!!!
Thanks friend lol!! I’ll be playing too
Cynthia, thank you for sharing your rage episode. Many of us have been there and the fertility journey can be long and feel devastating at times. Today's vlog helped all of us who have been through it to understand we are not alone and helps those who have never been through it to witness the roller coaster of emotions we endure. It's such a build up, then a let down, then a build up, and then another let down which can happen again and again and again. Every let down takes another piece of your heart with it. You blame yourself, you blame your partner, you blame God, you blame the doctor - hell, I even blamed my neighbour because he ran his mower on Sundays and caused me sleep deprivation so it was his fault. The disappointment rears its ugly head everywhere you look. You can't make a baby - you can't fix your house - everything seems like it is crumbling around you and it is hard to see the light. The frustration explodes. I hear you girl. Keep keeping on and being the wonderful person you are. You are a young and vibrant lady and the light will shine on you because of that. Don't give up the fight. We all support you. Ther eis a light at the end of that tunnel. 😘
Girl! I hear you .. same same here
Hi Cindy! I have days where everything irritates me too and having allergies makes things worse. I take pills & I use a nasal spray. Try a nasal spray. They are VERY helpful. Some days, that's all I need and my allergies are bad. Take care & know that things WILL get better :D
I think that you have a lot going on at the moment my love. Fertility issues can be crushing affecting every part of your life. I wish that there was some way I could offer some constructive help but it's such a personal time that you are gong through that words sometimes are not enough. It's a shame that you don't live in England as you would be able to get fertility treatment free on the NHS. My thoughts are with you and all I can offer is that things will get better sweetie. One thing that is 100% in my life is that I am sat eating a, very delicious cookie and drinking a warming cup of tea☕. Stay strong and love to you from not so sunny England.
You are such a good girl!!
Cindy…..I hear you about not being happy in your space, I went through depression for the past few years and I feel like every space I have is an f’in cluttered mess like my depressed cluttered brain feels! Like everywhere I look! I gotta try to get my shit together this summer…..but know we feel you and are here for you!!! ❤ I’m soooo NOT 100% rn! Lol! 😂 JS! I’m right there with you!
You are valid in what u are saying , I am glad u are not phony . You are just being real and raw!!! Things are going to get better!!!! Hang in there!!!!!☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️🥰
Infertility sucks so bad! I went through it And the sadness And disappointment i used to feel where overwhelming..... Just remember what ever you re going through, Good or bad, it will pass, things do change. There where times i Said to myself nothing could be worse than this, And something worse did actually happen. What i see when i watch your videos is the beautiful family you have And how close you all are, that right there is treasure. Hope that things change for you soon
Oh my goodness! Section 8? You got to focus on what you can do that will make a difference. We are so alike in this area. My poor husband has to talk me outta my tree. ( That’s what I call it ) I feel like I’m at the top swing throwing rocks because I can! Hell I’m here for ya. Throw a paint party and have the alcohol after so the paint isn’t every where. 🥰😍 Big ole Hug 🤗
Those dang periods! It will happen girl ❤ Give yourself a break, please! Focus on things you would like to do and/or need to do. Sending lots of hugs and love❤ I'm sad for you😊😊😊😊😊😊 ❤️
My best friends wedding……..we all seriously don’t know what to do with ourselves. Sometimes I don’t want to go home and I sit in a parking lot in my car and think about life…
This is the realest shit ever
I’ve been going through much the same with my house, I was so into grey then it just all of a sudden got on my nerves, now everything is white lol. I get the baby problems I had a rough time conceiving. Did end up with two great children, after several miscarriages. I used to feel life was so unfair when all our friends had children, but you will be a mum eventually. Your meant to be a mum, you’re so brilliant with Sebastian. Take care, it will all come good in the end xxx
F’ing infuckingfratility sucks!!! Been there many times over. Had 14 miscarriages and then lost my son at 5 days old. Two marriages later and a lot in between. That was a long time (my beautiful daughters are now 23 and 24). But I get that you are mad, raging, sad, frustrated, etc etc. it just sucks. Vent away. It’s ok to feel all your feelings. ❤❤❤
I love your realness. I get it girl. Breathe, let it out.
Girrrll... Exact same at my house. Then i just get pissed that i haven't done anything about it, and ignore it for longer. I figure it'll get done when I'm in the right head space for it. Hang in there!
Have you tried glitter hairspray or one of those glitter sprays that you can make from scratch for the walls?? My mom made me a wreath and I sprayed it with glitter hairspray and it was magical! lol
Hello, I feel your pain. I had a meltdown Sunday “ Why does my life suck.” No nothing is right 100%.
Praying for a baby for you.
You need a Sebastian fix ❤
👋🙂Cynthia.V, Its so good to see👀you again!👋✨👊Don't worry my sista friend, there will be better days ahead.👊✨🕊Prayers headed your way.✨ 🕊Takecare, we all love and care about you. 🙋How'd and love from Texas.💞 (💚✌💜)
Don't give up 🙏