Honey, don't worry about it. Just the fact that you understand not only the needs of a person with incontinence, but also the needs of the ABDL community, shows that you are an amazing person. And I could tell from the first emails we exchanged. You are very necessary for this community. Keep up the amazing work 😍
Thank you for following up. As an ABDL, I experience a different kind of shame where I can't make peace with it from a medical perspective (i.e. the way my body works wasn't my choice style logic). Instead I get the complicated flavor of shame because it's a thing I enjoy, want, and to an extent need; which is opposite of societal expectations. That shame never goes away, however I have made peace with it. A long time ago in therapy on the subject, I decided to look at it as a linear scale between "a thing you do" and "a thing you are". "a thing you do" you can choose to stop. "a thing you are" however is what comes back after you have chosen to stop. Having internalized that ABDL/Ageplay is a core part of who I am in this way, I then had to do a lot of work on accepting myself for who I am, that my desires are just what fall outside societal norms, and that what I choose to do with consenting adults doesn't harm anyone. By accepting it's part of who I am, I also have to acknowledge that rejecting that is harmful and what creates the common pattern of binge/purge cycles within the ABDL community. Likewise just because I am the way I am doesn't mean I can't be a respectable and functional adult with a normal life. Even if I accept myself for who and what I am, that shame is still there. I choose to embrace myself and also to simply stop caring so much about what other people think because I'm living authentically as me. There's a super common worry among anyone wearing diapers; "what if somebody notices" and generally being overly anxious about appearances. It takes a lot of work to be able to say "so what" and to realize that people are too wrapped up in their own universe to largely care or notice. Carrying around a spare change and wetbag is no different than carrying around menstrual or insulin supplies when you need it. If someone tries to shame you for doing so, they're largely demonstrating that they are someone you shouldn't care about especially and that their closed-mindedness isn't your problem to fix.
Thank you for sharing your struggles in this. There's a box that culture/society has deemed "acceptable" and if you're outside that box (whether by choice or nature) then something is wrong with you. As individuals, many people will become accepting to some degree if they hear someone's story, but that still requires a willingness to challenge their ingrained sense of "right" and "wrong," but that is hard especially if the predetermined "wrong" is something by choice. I've actually had a couple of people tell me that their involvement in the abdl/ageplay was recommended to them by therapists as a way to manage high stress professions. But thank you again for being willing to tell your story, having these difficult conversations is the only way to chip away at the shame and the stigmal
@@littleonioncloth9345 Glad to share or answer questions anytime. I do believe in living authentically and respectfully so when opportunities like this arise, it's nice to normalize things more and make it less a secret. The stress management thing is true, but it's not super common as it requires therapists which are well versed outside the textbook and it doesn't work for everyone. I know for myself it can be a great tool for helping depression. The best broad categorization I've heard is that it's a venn diagram of erotic/kink, sensory, or therapeutic (and medical being orthogonal since it can apply to anyone). Where you fall in that diagram can change for any multitude of reasons.
First, my suggestion for your website would be to display the message at the beginning of your broadcasts: “Inappropriate comments are not welcome and will not be further discussed here.” That should be enough. Regarding the general topic of incontinence, I believe the following: All doctors and psychologists officially agree that incontinence should be treated. However, hardly any doctor listens to the backstory, which can be both quite uncomfortable and possibly very pleasant, for whatever reason. Doctors and psychologists immediately label this story as a kind of illness. Medical professionals tend to have a kind of checklist in mind and can quickly classify a situation into an official medical condition, and that is how doctors earn their living. It’s their job. In the future, this method will likely also find its place in the field of AI, and one will be able to be "treated" online. However, both of these options will spark curiosity, but incontinence will always remain incontinence, whether due to physical embarrassment or due to a certain enjoyment of the embarrassment. The general trend has unfortunately changed a lot in the past decades due to the often anonymous internet. Back in the 1960s, men had to hide in a corner of a house just to buy a condom from a vending machine, but today, these are sold without prejudice in all varieties in supermarkets and, of course, online, along with attractive “toys.” Just like the embarrassing bikini was once a sensation, this material has today become a “string,” and no one is bothered by it anymore. Conclusion: The specific topic of ABDL is one variant, and “normal” incontinence is another. But both can no longer be distinguished by the fabric properties of a pad. Therefore, so-called “dirty” comments in your field are absolutely unwelcome, which is something you should always mention at the beginning of your broadcasts, but without commenting further, because otherwise, this topic would never end. Alicia, you do your work very thoroughly. You can even accommodate your customers' wishes without offering some mass-produced item. Handcraft is handcraft, where you invest time according to the customer’s needs. You can really express yourself and present your work online with the good feeling that you are creating something yourself, that your customers truly enjoy, and they know exactly what they are paying for. When sending out your products, you even include a small, nice note with a thank you for the order. Your customers will surely appreciate that and will gladly shop with you again because you are so friendly. That is the big difference from mass-produced goods. So, Alicia, stay cheerful, put this topic behind you, and don’t let any embarrassing comments affect you. I wish you and your loved one a pleasant holiday season and all the best for 2025.
Hey you're fine . It should not matter why someone uses a product. I feel what ever the need is. I'm sad that people shame of anyone. Both groups feel shame. Some feel why me. All we as good people should be is supporting one another what ever reason you need to use a incontinence protection.
Definitely! Many of the people I've talked with have found that their loved ones are supportive once they open up about it, but that's not always the case. The stigma itself is so big, it's like it's own entity and that's what's so hard to overcome :(
Honey, don't worry about it. Just the fact that you understand not only the needs of a person with incontinence, but also the needs of the ABDL community, shows that you are an amazing person. And I could tell from the first emails we exchanged. You are very necessary for this community. Keep up the amazing work 😍
Thank you!!
I love your videos they so helpful
Thank you! I'm so glad that you find them helpful :)
Thank you for following up. As an ABDL, I experience a different kind of shame where I can't make peace with it from a medical perspective (i.e. the way my body works wasn't my choice style logic). Instead I get the complicated flavor of shame because it's a thing I enjoy, want, and to an extent need; which is opposite of societal expectations. That shame never goes away, however I have made peace with it. A long time ago in therapy on the subject, I decided to look at it as a linear scale between "a thing you do" and "a thing you are". "a thing you do" you can choose to stop. "a thing you are" however is what comes back after you have chosen to stop. Having internalized that ABDL/Ageplay is a core part of who I am in this way, I then had to do a lot of work on accepting myself for who I am, that my desires are just what fall outside societal norms, and that what I choose to do with consenting adults doesn't harm anyone. By accepting it's part of who I am, I also have to acknowledge that rejecting that is harmful and what creates the common pattern of binge/purge cycles within the ABDL community. Likewise just because I am the way I am doesn't mean I can't be a respectable and functional adult with a normal life. Even if I accept myself for who and what I am, that shame is still there. I choose to embrace myself and also to simply stop caring so much about what other people think because I'm living authentically as me. There's a super common worry among anyone wearing diapers; "what if somebody notices" and generally being overly anxious about appearances. It takes a lot of work to be able to say "so what" and to realize that people are too wrapped up in their own universe to largely care or notice. Carrying around a spare change and wetbag is no different than carrying around menstrual or insulin supplies when you need it. If someone tries to shame you for doing so, they're largely demonstrating that they are someone you shouldn't care about especially and that their closed-mindedness isn't your problem to fix.
I also highly recommend looking into the work of Brené Brown when it comes to the topic of shame.
Thank you for sharing your struggles in this. There's a box that culture/society has deemed "acceptable" and if you're outside that box (whether by choice or nature) then something is wrong with you. As individuals, many people will become accepting to some degree if they hear someone's story, but that still requires a willingness to challenge their ingrained sense of "right" and "wrong," but that is hard especially if the predetermined "wrong" is something by choice. I've actually had a couple of people tell me that their involvement in the abdl/ageplay was recommended to them by therapists as a way to manage high stress professions. But thank you again for being willing to tell your story, having these difficult conversations is the only way to chip away at the shame and the stigmal
I have read all her books and I LOVED them. She does such amazing work!
@@littleonioncloth9345 Glad to share or answer questions anytime. I do believe in living authentically and respectfully so when opportunities like this arise, it's nice to normalize things more and make it less a secret.
The stress management thing is true, but it's not super common as it requires therapists which are well versed outside the textbook and it doesn't work for everyone. I know for myself it can be a great tool for helping depression. The best broad categorization I've heard is that it's a venn diagram of erotic/kink, sensory, or therapeutic (and medical being orthogonal since it can apply to anyone). Where you fall in that diagram can change for any multitude of reasons.
That makes a lot of sense to view it as a venn diagram. Thank you again for sharing your thoughts!
First, my suggestion for your website would be to display the message at the beginning of your broadcasts: “Inappropriate comments are not welcome and will not be further discussed here.” That should be enough.
Regarding the general topic of incontinence, I believe the following:
All doctors and psychologists officially agree that incontinence should be treated.
However, hardly any doctor listens to the backstory, which can be both quite uncomfortable and possibly very pleasant, for whatever reason. Doctors and psychologists immediately label this story as a kind of illness. Medical professionals tend to have a kind of checklist in mind and can quickly classify a situation into an official medical condition, and that is how doctors earn their living. It’s their job.
In the future, this method will likely also find its place in the field of AI, and one will be able to be "treated" online. However, both of these options will spark curiosity, but incontinence will always remain incontinence, whether due to physical embarrassment or due to a certain enjoyment of the embarrassment.
The general trend has unfortunately changed a lot in the past decades due to the often anonymous internet. Back in the 1960s, men had to hide in a corner of a house just to buy a condom from a vending machine, but today, these are sold without prejudice in all varieties in supermarkets and, of course, online, along with attractive “toys.”
Just like the embarrassing bikini was once a sensation, this material has today become a “string,” and no one is bothered by it anymore.
Conclusion: The specific topic of ABDL is one variant, and “normal” incontinence is another. But both can no longer be distinguished by the fabric properties of a pad. Therefore, so-called “dirty” comments in your field are absolutely unwelcome, which is something you should always mention at the beginning of your broadcasts, but without commenting further, because otherwise, this topic would never end.
Alicia, you do your work very thoroughly. You can even accommodate your customers' wishes without offering some mass-produced item. Handcraft is handcraft, where you invest time according to the customer’s needs. You can really express yourself and present your work online with the good feeling that you are creating something yourself, that your customers truly enjoy, and they know exactly what they are paying for.
When sending out your products, you even include a small, nice note with a thank you for the order. Your customers will surely appreciate that and will gladly shop with you again because you are so friendly. That is the big difference from mass-produced goods.
So, Alicia, stay cheerful, put this topic behind you, and don’t let any embarrassing comments affect you. I wish you and your loved one a pleasant holiday season and all the best for 2025.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts! I hope you and yours have a lovely holiday season as well :)
Hey you're fine .
It should not matter why someone uses a product.
I feel what ever the need is. I'm sad that people shame of anyone.
Both groups feel shame.
Some feel why me.
All we as good people should be is supporting one another what ever reason you need to use a incontinence protection.
Definitely! Many of the people I've talked with have found that their loved ones are supportive once they open up about it, but that's not always the case. The stigma itself is so big, it's like it's own entity and that's what's so hard to overcome :(