Dig deep, maintain your dignity and integrity.keep quiet.... Don't play with pigs you'll only get dirty. The TRUTH is undeniable and will always shine bright. Those that listen to the narc have their own agenda for doing so, you don't need them in your life. Shoulders back head held high. Keep moving forward... Thank you Paula
If your not careful, you will start becoming & acting like them. It was happening to me until i realized what was happening to me. Then i put a stop to it. I cleaned out my entire circle.
It is a very hard thing to deal with. You are much more stronger then you realize and you CAN do this. You are beautiful & you are loved. Always remember that, no matter what anyone else says.
@@danawilson1255 I told my truth and it set me free staying quiet was not an option for me because he hurt me and my son. Now I am free it works sometimes in your favor we cant stay silent when they verbally physically and financially abuse you it is easy for them to call you crazy . In the end it depends your situation. The family members were sad and provided me with information about him so yes people see their BS even family members get tired of them . 100%
I am so glad that you are able to speak out about what happened to you because it really does help to be set free. And i am glad that you and your son are safe
@@danawilson1255 Dana, I have been there as well ! Your words carry such wisdom for all of us. You are so strong !!! I am so sorry that you had to go through this God bless you ! I wish you happiness and peace ❤️
The more I ignore his disgusting behaviour, the more angry and crazy he gets. Everyone is finally seeing him for who he really is. Even the new supply.......😂🤣
Omg yes!!! I tried to defend myself and then he went even more crazy. He exposed himself so badly I think he is bisexual aswell. Anyways it's been almost 2 months I haven't been on social media he looked like the enemy himself and now he has disappeared himself. Pathetic low life
To quote someone else who does videos like our excellent video presenter here who has soul.. I mean A SOUL TOO... "The best defense is a non-defense!" It doesn't mean you have something to "hide". It just means that you're DONE continually playing their STUPID game! I'M SO DONE WITH THIS BULLSHIT TOO AND THOUGHT I WAS A WHILE AGO, but they had to hack my phone for years later and it's no privacy literally now for me. That's how evil and diabolical these people are. Talk about SCUM STAINS o humanity. But there IS LIGHT/SUNSHINEat the end of the dark tunnel! It gets better.. but sometimes it gets a little worse before it gets better.. if that makes any sense. Stay strong! Don't let these people get their so-called "win" so easily. Intimidation from a fake self is all they have left. They're beyond DORK-ISH or souls of black. THEY'LL HAVE TO FACE THEMSELVES AND THEIR MAKER AT THE END OF THE DAY
The most tragic is when this happens in your workplace, when you have no way to defend yourself, since all is done in a very covert way with nobody telling you what is happening. You end up being outcasted AND black listed forever, making it impossible to earn a living.
Totally agree. Seen it done. Another nefarious way a smear campaign can happen today is with narc "social justice warriors" in medical offices who can permanently smear you in your medical records saying you are "unstable" based on no facts. This can happen because someone in their criminal network that they socialize in - told them you are a racist. That can follow you nationwide forever. Also by stateing you are a racist to office workers can make your visits as a patient unsafe and follow you wherever you go! This is happening
Thats what I did: nothing...walk away, I let him talk all the lies, cause at one point I tried to defend myself...he went higher with the lies. So I said im not gonna focus on it no more. I stay focus on my healing and journey. And the sounds faded away. They need our response in the smear campaign to get more energy, because it drain our energy cause we trying to stop the lies. But I tell myself...there is a God, and that's it. Now his friends see him for who he really his. The best reaction during the smear campaign is NO REACTION...NONE. bear it out. Dont acknowledge the demon, remember they don't have a souls, they can't feel nothing, nothing. They need our fuel inorder to drive. Don't give them no fuel.
@@reesedaniel5835 🎯... Precisely. Unfortunately however that literally means that you even have to take a time out from your children. Because they are being used like messenger's so that the narc can still get at you. It's sounds so sick...but I'm experiencing this. My kids need to wake up... I've just had to let go and get out of God's way because when I see how my children are struggling emotionally it gets me really upset. The narc knows just exactly that. I'm not going to fuel the fire by getting angry. I just pray that God will show them the truth and they can heal 🙏💌☕
and to work on your own healing.........God will help you to heal, learn to meditate, it will bring you the peace you need and allow you to have access to God within. this is a spiritual experience after all.
It was emotionally painful the time of the smear campaign. At the time I defended myself for a time. Then I was over it, I simply was exhausted & stopped caring what other people thort of me, because I had TRUTH on my side. It doesn't matter how long it may take but TRUTH always comes out & shines in its own perfect timing.
That scares me. How long will it take so my boys see Thru it all and I regain some relations with them. They became his flying monkeys and became as toxic as him. This was the hardest thing I have ever been through in my almost 50 years of life, beats the abuse from him any-day, as this traumatized me even more then narcissistic rage and abuse, probably because I no longer cared about him for what he did, but I do love my children, they just don’t know and they blame me for leaving their dad. I’m so hurt
@@monasky6693 some knew, others couldn't care less. I ve stopped caring. Thats the only solution I ve found. Only thing l ve gleamed from a lot of study is, other people are going through their own narcissist abuses. Pure evil has been on going since Bibical times. I do believe there's Karma, but not always within our sight/ life span. I ve an ongoing problem, l sought several solutions, but prayed feverish over. Finally, an answer came. DO NOTHING. GOD WILL TAKE CARE. PEACE
Yep I never did anything bad to my family. My mom and brother both smear campaigned me and my kids. My cousins, aunts and uncles who believe these horrible lies about me aren’t even worth being in our lives.
Coverts LOVE the sympathy they get from telling others things that THEY are actually DOING in the backround (and have done the WHOLE time) also as a means to "deflect" blame and accountability.
The only thing I did was block this person and take them out of my life. I am not reacting to their behavior because I know who I am and I will not give in to the BS of their smear campaign. Yes, it's uncomfortable and it has taken everything in me to not react but I feel that silence SCREAMS volumes!!!
Believe it when people show you who they really are! If people are so easily turned by the narcissist I don’t want them in my life ever again. They are dead to me as they fly around spreading negative hateful gossip!
Maintaining personal integrity is the most important thing, and the biggest challenge, when dealing with the smear campaign and those pesky, all-too-willing flying monkeys. The temptation for nasty revenge is temporally strong, but we must resist and rise above it. Trust that truth will prevail.
Smear campaign on a child unbelievable, a innocent child. A person will smear their great grand niece unbelievable. The coward decide to attack my child instead. Pure evil.
When I go out I put on a strategic mindset and look people in the eye. I let the world see that I'm a good woman and a loyal wife and friendly and kind.
I was alienated from my kids because of the narcissist, the only hope I have now is that people and my children will eventually see the truth. It’s been 7 years of hell on earth for me, I haven’t been able to move on with life at all
Same for me;( he not only alienated my 18 and 20-year-old boys but completely turned them into flying monkeys, I have zero contact with them and they now live with him. They became as toxic as him to my soul and every day I wander how long it will be before they wake up and see the real him and maybe just maybe understand what I’ve been through and how they abandoned their mother as well, believing this awful person!!! How old Were your children the time it happened?
Same here. Children don’t have same experience and don’t understand. Blood is thicker than water. God hears all and sees all. Get yourself together and do something! Don’t let it put your life at a stop. You have one life, live it. Get therapy. Do something. Grow strong That’s how you beat them! Smile! At least try!
it took a few years but when I was no longer his punching bag he began to do the exact same thing to my middle daughter. he had worked like hell to get her on his side to the point of giving her and her friends alcohol underage giving her her his own credit card you name it he kissed her ass until I wasn't around and she reminded him too much of me.
I’m perplexed. The smear campaign formed against me has backfired. I’ve seen it with my own eyes tonight. I needed to find a video that would resonate with what I’ve just experienced. Thanks 🙏🏿
Oh that’s soo cool for you, I have seen it too and it was Silence, patience and Prayer 🙏 and then I saw the backfire, and it’s not about getting them back, it’s about what is right and good and seeing the Lord’s hand in it and that is soo fulfilling in the heart ♥️ the truth always prevails with the Lord by your side 🙏❤️
@@notme4565 God bless you What an extremely powerful inspiring motivting brilliant messge You probably have no idea how motivtionl your messge is God bless you Thank you so very much You could mke your messge one of the m@in ones, i'd love to see more benefit from your brilliant messge👏🍀🙏God bless you
I divorced my Ex a Narcissistic Sociopath 4 yrs ago. He put our 3 kids against me. I walked away in silence with Grace. I was abused by all and very painful situation. My kids continue to be estranged. Where is the Justice??
this is horribly painful, I know. same here. my mother did this and seemed to have won in every regard. no one in my family talks to each other but this is also what happened to my mother's immediate family so left unchecked, this keeps going generationally.....let go, let God, work on your Self, God sees all, God sees the heart......trust JUSTICE WILL PREVAIL. go to God, heal your Self......this is what I am left with and I am the only one who is happy and has God, none of them do but each person has been given the gift of free will, so all you can do is change and heal yourself. God bless you, Claudia........
You said it exactly right. Reach out to NEW friends and NEW family. Wickedness and betrayal at their level comes from demons that have 1000’s of years of experience how to destroy souls.
Remember one thing they fail with everyone, so just forgive yourself and get away and their little toxic smear campaign will fail also,same old game just a different person, regardless of anything karma will have their address 😂 every dog has their day.
She is so right. I fell into my moms trap and got angry. I finally blew up and guess what she told me?! I said, mom why are you telling everyone lies and that I’m crazy? She responded with “ You made it too easy” as she giggled. How disgusting, I finally stopped all emotional baggage I was carrying, I held onto so much pain and shame believing that I was the problem. Now I see the truth!!!! I will never speak to my mom or brother again. My mom groomed my brother to be just like her!!! MY ENEMY!!!!! As kids she always told my brother look at your sister! She is a bad Apple with disgust on her face.
This has been the most excruciatingly painful experience. I'm still persevering,but I don't know if they actually really realize the enormity of the betrayal and devastation and pain they caused. And how working through the anger takes time. I'm going to focus on getting the anger out of me, getting fit, and start staying quiet and be dignified. The campaign which tried to destroy me ,only made me stronger. I can see that now. I think that deep inside they're just scared to be found out. It comes from a place of deep insecurity. Mine tried to kill me ,over and over. That's just heart shattering betrayal. Not once. But repeatedly. So,I'm just practicing radical acceptance, forgiveness, and finding out what lessons I had to learn from this. I do think there's pain on both sides. And I regret my part in feeding the fire. Sometimes having way too much emotions really really sucks . I guess I'll just wish him well, and focus on becoming the person I want to be. My life and reputation are ruined, and I've honestly never met a more viciously vindictive person.But,I'm learning important lessons. Be Very Very Careful Who You Trust. If they're rushing things ..RUN If they're pressuring you to have sex RUN If I had had stronger boundaries I wouldn't have been easy prey. Just say No Hugs!!!
You don't have "way too much emotions".......You are not the problem. The narc(s) are emotionally RETARDED. Literally. They have no divine spark in them, no conscience, no empathy. They are meatsuits filled with demons. See Psalm 58:3-5 KJV or NKJV
I am happy that you are free and hopefully has developed strong boundries now because your level of compassion after all you have been through shows that you could be trapped again otherwise. Lovebombing is a strong drug. God bless you and keep you safe 🙏🙂🕊🦋
I have been and currently being smeared by my narcissistic sibling. I have not been able to defend myself and this sibling has been able to drive my one child away from me. It is a nightmare that never seems to end.
Dear LiberalGeorgia God bless you Million fold 🍀🙏I'm so so sorry,,, to hear anyone whtsoever could turn your wonderful child, again st you:-This is horrendous God bless you 🍀🙏Ple@se don't lose faith, m@int@in strength & know that the truth will come to light eventually Nothing surprises me concerning nrcissists behaviour n lies, but lying about you to your beloved dear Child, truly is, the lowest of the low With God's guidance & in God's graceful way, let the real truth be known to your Child Don't allow your sibling to get away with it You can stnd up for yourself, with true divine grace, The Lion & The L@mb Ple@se keep us updated, on how things have progressed for you Much love to you & your brilliant Child M@y no one,,, try to destroy your bond ever again 💡🍀🙏
This has happened to me and my oldest daughter was driven from me by my now deceased mother and siblings. Now I have cousins and others doing it with her and my granddaughter. My youngest was influenced by my ex husband. My grandchildren are immeshed in a toxic upbringing and unfortunately and unknowingly being taught to hate me. Therapy and videos help. It’s been an ongoing, years long process but I focus on living my life and bringing happiness to myself. I plan to write a book.
WOW!! I am right in the middle of my smear FEST right now! It’s an all out circus. I escaped from a 16 year relationship 7 months ago and he is doing EVERYTHING you said and more. No, I have not broken my no contact, It’s solid. Just enough information was brought to me so I’m not surprised. The public display of disrespect is horrifying, 🥲I haven’t taken the bait. Now that I’ve watched this. Not another word!! Thank you so much for your part in helping us survivors understand this disorder.
I recognise him in what you say about the victim sounding crazy. He shouted and abused me for no reason. As soon as I couldn't take anymore and shouted back to stand up for myself he rang his friend and said "listen to what I have to put up with" and he went quiet. We split up after I caused him a narcissistic injury by finishing with him first. He damaged my property and tried to steal my car - I hid my keys. But it took me years to find out he was a malignant narcissist.
I get uncomfortable when someone is always coming to me with mean, hateful things about someone. This is especially true when it is always the same person that keeps slandering specific people all the time, yet, no one else has anything similar to say about those people...🚩🚩🚩🚩
Kay Caringi, you bet your life that you have to keep that evil sicko away from you. Are you answering the hoovers? Gosh I hope you'll reply " hell no".
@@kaycaringi8851 I had the same thing until I changed the phone number and went black out, silent to everyone. It’s not possible for everyone. But any little thing you can do to never let them back in. When you block them they can still get to you. That doesn’t work. You must change the phone number if possible and realize that they really are strangers and you don’t need their bullshit anymore!!! I got off of social media but one, but it is locked up, but I do still want to see some of my true friends things 😊 Seriously it’s not worth your mental health to keep the damn phone number, or email it’s not. It’s like sooo freeing and peaceful knowing that they can’t reach you only who you want to have it has it !!! And YOU do not owe them anything or anything about you, it’s none of their business what your doing and it’s none of our business to know what their doing because they are going to do whatever they do, we seriously have no control over that, that’s the Lord’s job 🙏
In my case I did nothing, I didn't react publicly on the smear campaign, I left from that community, did cut off all fake people. But I don't have feeling like it backfired on him. He still stayed popular in that community. Like if people couldn't put 2+2 together and realize there is something shady about him. He described me as someone having anger issues. I didn't show any publicly but still people wasn't on my side. I wonder, why it didn't backfire on him? No one were questioning his gossips, he only claimed adoration and popularity. Edit: even the new supply saw how he is obsessed with gossiping about me - she kinda participated in gossip chat too a little, and still after this all she decided to go into relationship with him. 🙄
What I learnt about smear campaigns. Based on people who is hearing what a narcissist is saying about a target, it speaks volumes on what sort of people they are themselves. As you had said, if they cannot out 2 and 2 together then that person had never been on your side from the start and to be easily persuaded proved that they were willing to switch up and participate in a mob of lies to put you down as well. I hope you are doing well and do not let these people get to you.
I kind of experiencing the same issue too, and mines a college community where I left the community to take new classmates because they are buying what he was saying and didn't even have "critical thinking" to consider a thing or two, but really I thought, let them though I don't need their support anyways because they were never in my side from the first place, they weren't my friends from the first place, so why bother? I do sometimes feels sad that I wish they could figure him out because he is a dangerous person, but hey, whatever they do I just stay silent and be on my own company even he have sent his "spies" to spy on me on my new class which honestly doesn't bother me if I just don't care. so have faith and I wish you well. we are in this together
Sorry to hear this. The good is they have to live with themselves and you get to walk away. Everything done to you will happen to new supply its just love bombing stage.
@@taraarrington2285 Update: Even after 2 years the new supply keeps spreading his lies about me (the new girl of my ex narc). I don't think she will get the same as I did. I think narcissits will abuse more the empaths, pure hearted people than the toxic, demanding, low vibe new supply. As it was clear from my relationship when he didnt want to make it public with me, but with her he did. Or he helped her much more at the start. I know he is not neglectig her as he did to me. Not watching them anymore but this is all what I noticed before. And I truly believe they abuse some people less. (I wouldn't call her victim because she is corrupted person for participating smear campaign and even after 2 years spreading gossips she has no proof about.)
@@DZ-jz8bj sorry to hear that. It may not seem like he's abusing her yet but these snakes don't change. God bless. Sounds like you're way better off. Get an order of protection if you have to I've done it b4.
It’s true. With time and patience their true colours and motives come out when you remain silent and look from the outside without engaging. Just watch the drama that they wished upon you unfold to their shame, not that I think they feel shame, unfold bit by bit. I believe that they will try to find whatever bit of supply is left, to get the upper hand, but they will eventually collapse. Have faith.
One would that people would question the narcissist, however when the narc is wealthy, employs your family members and friends and then these people have negative thought tendencies or are envious, they are all too willing to follow along with the false narrative of the narc.
👍 yep seen it , it’s really deplorable, I always think, don’t they know God is watching them, but then I realized they don’t care, they are empty souls, they know nothing about God like we do 🙏
I was in a very similar boat and your situation is very difficult to fight against. It broke my heart to come to the realization that money was more important to my brother than our relationship. His jealous wife pushed him further, sucking up to the wealthy narc. It’s been quite sometime, and I’ve grieved the loss and healed with a very qualified therapist and lots of intense, difficult inner work. It helped that my other brother interceded and he and I reconnected (not the narc). Once I was completely out of the line of fire, the narc must find someone else to treat like shit. Sadly, they always do.
I agree. What I experienced was, I was on the receiving end of the smear campaign of the toxic person about her whom she called best friend. I used to worked with both of them. I have no any clue back then what I was dealing with, all I knew was I was not so comfortable listening, but with my empathetic heart, I wanted to give a holding space for that "hurting" toxic person so i thought. Full of sob story, 'i'm the victim' kinda. I bought all those stories, those stories moved me, and sort of manipulated my empathetic heart. I was that naive. I only realized all these things when I came across npd and did a little research and saw the patterns. So I wont be surprised if this person had bad mouth me behind my back when I walked away, really you actually reach the point of indifference where you just won't care anymore. This exact scenario happened too with a family member of mine, and still happening but I am not buying it, lols. This is what I learned : avoid people who loves gossip and loves to gossip. Have nothing to deal with them. It feels so good to be free and thriving to what is good and true. Thanks Paula, and God bless you!
Yes Sir. No sir Three bags full sir. Have you gossied about ME! Or would you call it. Just having some clear insight about me and my situation ? Disgusting filth. DISGUSTING!
True that, they only have power we give them and with hindsight, education and freedom from brain fog they become tragically boring and predictable. I find that once identified the most excruciating thing for them is just casual observation, knowing they can be " seen" and still not worthy of even a negative reaction. they then begin to skurry like a roach frantically trying to find a dark corner. Fumbling through the rolodex of masks and automated responses while hiding their hollow eyes. Careful tho they will write a new program to protect the ego so as not to be destroyed in the same manner twice , it's best just to just remain vigilant and only draw your sword when they have crossed a boundary or for protection of the innocent
I’m 30 in but now done🙏 The only bad part is- he turned my 2 boys against me- flying monkeys and I lost touch with them completely. Heart breaking. They are 18 and 20 and blame me that I left him and now apparently I’m the selfish one
This is 100% truth, I can vouch for that, but you will have to be patient and just know they always slip up. Persecution and smear campaigns are military like training in self empowerment.
I don't even know there is a smear campaign. I'm too busy with my life. Thank you anyway. I'm just thanking the people the people that helped me . That's all.
Simply put you have to cut all your own emotions and put a poker face and stay silent all the time with them, it is insane and feels horrible, it's best to get out of that cage.
Being silent is all you can do. Peaceful you will feel🌸 Growth in understanding ✨️ and knowing 💫 moving 🎀 forward is a gift unwrapping it little by little ✨️ 😊
Hate to be ignored. Need some kind of supply rather good or bad just stare at it with no emotions remember the silent treatment from it return it back watch how it destroy them
the people who sat back and did not tell me about the gossip the narc was saying about me I ended contact with them. I told them the truth and I told them what shit the narc was talking about them and others. I then also told them I want nothing to do with them because of their relationship with my enemy. one of these "friends" has been trying to get thru to me for 3 years now. now there is no serenity between him and the narc anymore and no trust either.
Paula people need to stop Worrying about the smear campaign ! “ it’s the Fox can’t reach the grape ( you ) and will tell everyone that grape is sour , it’s no good “ ! I personal took the smear campaigns as one of my biggest motivator - I make sure I did not connect to the BS or fall apart from it ! What I did was raise above his words and is crew ! I work on self , fix my boundaries, After awhile people within their own crew will start wondering who was the problem , allow your now life to speak who you are !
There is conviction in every word or sentence they utter. It is self-condemning. In fact not a motive but as fact a pathology. They express pride often as an attribute for...but deny any awareness they have the problem. Must grow strong first, and nurture, then we can survive ill consequence. The condemnation of the narcissists Smear Campaign. A strategy yes, but of extreme discord. Bluntening towards my reality,,? No thanks 🙏
My "mother" has been smearing me since I was 6. She used to make fun of me & call me a victim for being bullied at school. She told me to go in & fight them, then when I did she made a big drama out of me being "violent," which is a smear she still uses today. That's just one example. Extended family I haven't seen for years have been surprised when they've met me, they're usually expecting someone completely demented!
It is terrible. I think my mother put make up on and accused me of punching her when I was like 6 or something. I only remembered when my brother brought it up decades later. She turned my brother against me with that and must have been bringing it up when I wasn't around. I remember vaguely at the time it was really weird. I was being accused but didn't know what was going on. It was soon erased like i couldn't process the episode and was drawn back into the happy families lie. Even if I did punch her there would have to have been some reason whereas this was all about painting me bad. If I had remembered such things I might have got away from them sooner. Gosh my brother probably didn't even remember me being accused at the actual time. He certainly didn't see anything himself. I don't think it actually happened. my parents could be worse than i even realise. to come up with an idea like that they would have had to have been getting ideas from really bad people.
Yes, I have had a similar experience, I've been called crazy, lazy, delusional, alcoholic, the list goes on and on. By my mother and my siblings. There are 2 specific people with Mt mother that I call the witches coven, as all they do is sit and discuss other family members. Of course I saw my mother briefly on her birthday and within an hour started triangulation with me of said members of witches coven. Even at 84 she still plays these games....
I shouldn’t but I need to comment on this while I am smiling. I learned from a previous relationship about narcissism. Read about, learned about it but I never thought I would go through this again. An ex boyfriend contacted me a year ago by email asking how I was doing bla,bla, bla…. Of course, polite as I am I responded in the best positive way that I was happy, got a new fantastic job… etc… That was enough to set him off but I didn’t realized that at the time. We met up and I fell in love with him. Stupid me! Long story short. I moved in with him (stupid, I know. No need to tell me ) but at the time it all made perfect sense. A new start in life. So, I gave up my home, garden, friends, job and moved. Found a new job immediately. But friends not so much. It were his friends, read…drinking friends, they are all using each other for different purposes. Nevertheless, as I don’t drink bc I have a responsibility to my work.. I was quickly labeled as a pitbull, bitch etc… But I attended to my duties, working full time, cleaning, gardening, chores, cooking, his needs etc.. and he did nothing all day. Watching television. I did notice some things in the beginning but nothing could break my good spirit. I thought !!! But his ways of just sitting there, doing nothing, burping out loud, farting, trying to shock me…soon started to drain the life out of me. As an early bird in the morning, I am tired in the evening and couldn’t always perform…so he starts sleeping on the couch. We were getting married in May, he ghosts me after all the criticisms he gave me three weeks prior to the wedding and I went no contact. I just let him be. He texted me 6 days later’ I miss you’… I told him I find myself a bit too good to be put in such a situation. I have that ‘dash’ more. He came back then. by beginning June he left again. In an argument I told him I was “enough “ that I am enough! And if he can’t see that he’s definitely not my person. He got mad and said ‘ how can you say this about yourself’ I just smiled. He left! He took on a lawyer to get me out of the house. If I was not gone by end October I had to pay €100,- a day as a fine. During my time with him I paid 1200€ every month for expenses, rent etc… Last weekend I moved out of the house, without him knowing anything. I took all my things and with help from a couple of friends I got out. I am hearing now that he’s asking how I did it, where did I go.. nobody knows!!! I am starting a new life. I heard the smear campaign to his parents, friends, but never reacted He came over to see my daughter and did the same smear and she took his side which shocked me even more. Anyway I moved out. Left him for what I know now what he is but I am glad it was just a year and that I had that previous experience. He can drown in his beer for all I care. Feel sorry for the parents. They are elderly and afraid of him certainly so sponsoring him financially cause he’s got nothing. They appreciated me.. I know. He can move back to his house now, and pay it all by himself. The garden will die by the devil’s energy. My blessings are coming.
Smear campaigns are the narcissists’ self-soothing tactic. It’s not personal to the target. People will see through it eventually. Think of a time you saw through someone else too.
No, even with decades of a history doing this, MANY people DON'T see thru it. The truth does NOT always come out in the end. And sadly, the people who DO see thru it, don't give a shit cuz it's not happening to them. Ur screwed
I am so glad on found this video clip. I have a narcissist Mom who lives with me and my Family. Every Holiday trashed every Birthday Party trashed. And finally Easter Sunday ruined. After the episode on Easter Sunday I decided finally to go no contact. We do have separate living quarters, making it a bit easier. We still have to walk on egg shells. It has been about three weeks of no contact and how quickly the flying monkeys and the great smear campaign come into play. I had re- searched this a lot and this is the BEST explanation by far in this short video. Thank You soo much for posting this and I need to get stronger day by day and your presentation just gave me the ultimate courage to feeling better about myself, and guiding my Family to move forward understanding her condition.
Read the Bible carefully with the help of the Holy Spirit and you will see that Ishtar the Fertility Goddess aka (EASTER) and all the other "holidays" are pagan and an abomination to God. Even celebrating one's "birthday" was only done by the pagan Kings in the Bible. God is calling you away from all that nonsense. "Christmas" is Nimrod's birthday celebration disguised as the "Christs" bday. He was the first ANTICHRIST so he was a "christ" so to speak. The satanist's know what day this really is, the "Christians" who still partake of it are dupes, most willfully duped. The satanic govt would not allow this day or any of the others if they had anything to do with the real Jesus Christ. And the so called "military" days are celebrations by them of all the human sacrifices via their contrived wars that were really used to cull the population of God's good seedline.
what u said about the narc running into the good souls is true. When u are spreading negativity and rumors good souls never just automatically take something someone says about another person as the truth. We are fair enough to always stay neutral until we hear from the person that the possible lies are being spread about. Meaning until I speak with them personally and tell them so and so is saying xyz about u is it true? and give them a chance to respond to the allegations We dont think negatively about the person. As a matter of fact because we in lots of cases have been thru smear campaigns ourselves from narcs in our past we can actually sense the jealousy and envy coming off of the narc thats spreading the lies about the person they are jealous of. Its also just tooo much information about these types out there for people to fall for their bs. The truth always comes out and lies fall apart over time anyways…
spot on. when I was going through my divorce and learning that this man was not who I thought he was and he would do anything to destroy me and look good doing it I was told by a counselor who could see him for who he was all she kept saying was don't play his game don't play his game play a different game. she was actually our mediator and was supposed to be neutral but she couldn't stand it anymore and at one point they separated us and this is when she gave me this unsolicited personal advice. she told me her story which was exactly what I was about to enter. I began to do that even though I wasn't sure what I was doing but if he expected me to jump I'd sit still if you wanted me to sit still I'd jump. it confused the hell out of them and he started to mimic me in frustration. one of my favorite tactics was to give him the exact same line no matter what email or text message he sent me it was always something like I will take that to prayer. after a while he started to do the same thing it was pretty funny. they can be beat!!
My wife has just capitulated after two years if going no contact with my covert Narc daughter inlaw and my son .The smear campaign is intense they are trying to make me out to be the loonitic that I am going insane making connections with all my enemies. I am isolated an on my own my wife is now in their camp and need to break free from all of them.
💯 % Truth. I ve seen instances where these horrible narcissist experiences difficulties, from sources other than any thing l could have planned for them. Karma, if you will is a Bit×#h.
The discard would be a lovely blessing. Looking forward that day. There is no civil, fair or just ordinary living. All I do now I watch her causing havoc, guilt tripping and drama every day for over 30years and I can see her almost loosing her marbles. I married for better or worse and by the heavens the worse in like a continuously ongoing war. Disengaged now and a sense of peace comes over me. I pity them really. Take care everyone out there. God bless.
Thank you. I needed the validation that I am on the right track. My Narc Dad has recently passed. My siblings are now painting the picture that I abandoned all of them. The truth is I had to step away because he was so abusive and they blamed me for it. It was actually with the help of a good therapist who actually trains other therapists that I was able to have the courage to step away from a situation that was abusive for me. I offered to help with his care in other ways either by paying $500.00 a month(what I could afford) or bringing meals to my siblings to support them when they cared for him. I offered to do behind the scenes work so that I would not have to be in his presence. They are now posting cryptic messages on FB about knowing who really cares when the chips are down. They have told me as much as well. They would never of course post about how abusive our father was. No, he was protected and I was scapegoated. The truth teller always gets the brunt of the abuse. It pains me to have to grieve the loss of my siblings but I’ve come to realize they want to continue our fathers legacy and not get help so that we can have a loving healthy relationship. This has been going on for most of my life I just wasn’t ready to face it until a few years ago.
Yall must of not gone through a heavy smear campaign like me. When they involve the court and others it's not easy to ignore or just block them. When they build a whole team against you it's hard to ignore
@@NarcCon It was brutal smear campaign, but I won due to me having proof of his abuse several months before he discarded me in a very humiliating was. He called the cops and used my gun and mental health to get me out the house a few days later he started moving out and then filed for divorce. I was able to get a PO on him and with that he could lose his security clearance with the military. He has taken me to court to prove I'm mentally unstable and should be committed. Two judges don't agree with him.
I went through a heavy smear campaign even to getting kicked out of my home due to a lie to obtain a restraining order against me which was dismissed and I was able to get one instead against him because of the truth of his abuse! I was also smeared so badly on social media and still am! What I say is “I don’t need to defend myself on social media because what matters is the truth that is proven in real life and for me in court”. Use it to your advantage to see who else to cut off.
So true the Karma is real i seen it with my own eyes ..many male narcs have children and do not see how their actions trickle down to their offspring.Sorry not sorry.
Yes Paula I would agree fully No reaction As hard as that sounds it works I can only imagine what my ex Narc has said about me to the new Supply and her family over the years They dont know me or who I am The only thing I do know is that the people who know me couldnt be swayed by his Lies They know me and who I am Thankfully even though I didnt know about Narrsissim my gut feeling was dont react to some of the things I heard back Be as strong as you can Say Nothing Lovely video and spot on Paula
Great advice! I tried not to do. But he had gotton a full discription,after he provoked me,over the phone. I don't have to imagine what he has lied about me, to his new supply or the many more supplies, their families And friends,as he spread his pathological lies against me,publically throughout social media;(smear campaignes.) Same,he couldnt sway my family And friends,who do know me,with his lies.
What a great video! I am right now experiencing this in my family! But thank god, I have gone no contact 2 years ago. This makes me think of celebrities, when the media is inventing stories around them. They have to take it on a daily basis! And most of them handle it gracefully. Heidi Klum is so good in it! She simply doesn´t show any reaction and shows herself in public even more calm cool and collected. Please don´t get me wrong, I am not saying, that it´s the same sh*** like "ours". But the effect of such a reaction is very powerful.
Thank God, my narcissist experience was with “acquaintances” who are no loss. I had an alt journalist from Boston (Quincy) contact me after reading an article by a real journalist about my whistleblower illegal persecution and abuse by my former employer (NSA). She did several articles on various aspects of the true experience, but after a while, tried to get me involved in her really nasty and psycho cyberstalking smear campaign against another woman she considered a rival. I told her no, and her response to me and another woman (a pastor) was that we were “bad Christians”, had bad judgement, and bad character if we did not engage in her degenerate behavior with her or for her. She even threatened to smear me if I did not and went crazy doing so. She wrote several delusional articles never, ever addressing the real issue but she relied on vague “word salad” insults and fabrications that evolved until she settled into lies she thought others would buy. She of course threatened the other witness to shut up and tried with varying success to get others to lie, to become her flying monkeys, if she gave them 15 minutes of “fame”. She even presented an 8x felon as a “legal expert” and a methhead addict and shoplifter as a “light worker” in a couple podcasts used to attack me for daring say no to being her puppet. She even said, “I owed her” for publishing my story. Frankly, it is an important story she was lucky to get. But then she published several articles saying I was a fake… despite my tons of supporting documents she has seen to some degree and a lawsuit in play based on that evidence. She really looks like a psycho who can’t make up her mind. Believe it or not, she will not remove the previous true stories wholly and obviously contradicting her recent delusional articles, which truly makes her look the fool. And, she has set herself up for a major defamation lawsuit… that is certainly coming.
Thank you for your knowledge of the subject and your kindness in telling the story . You are appreciated more than you will ever know and I sincerely thank you♥️
To help the smear campaign backfire , produced documentary evidences including recordings. Depending on what you're dealing with and whom ! I would advise recording and documenting everything...their conversations with you and against you, texts, emails , photos ( and don't tell them you're recording) other wise its game on and they will perform to make YOU look crazy.
Lovely shirt dear. Great topic. I too have experienced the smear campaign. To destroy peoples lives and crush their careers and relationships. We do all need to brainstorm ways to call out smears during a smear to effectively combat bad behavior with actionable thought that addresses the problem and need for solutions.
Honestly everything you talk about totally resonates with me. You are just so great. I’m sure you are helping a lot of people. Just love your channel and your Irish accent. Both my grandparents came from Ireland. Sheridan is the name
I wonder if there is any legal recourse. Like a restraining order or suing them for breach of contract in some cases. They lie and manipulate all of the time. Slander is so hard to win. These psychos are monsters and are destructive.
Are you peaking into my life? You have the ability to tap into my world and put out a video that really strikes a cord with me. I especially related to putting out good vibes and they return to you-because that is what I really struggled with. I wanted to say such negative things to betray his inner nature to all so, I wrote letters that I never sent but would reread when I began to doubt myself. God bless
I never responded. I bit the Bullet of the smear campaign. Best decision ever! I refused to roll in the mud. Total Block! Total No Contact! Now? Victory is mine of course🙂
What I did was to eventually ( organically), started to ask for things to make it less one sided. After a while, there was some clarity about how one sided it had been. Also, if someone says they love you, it's not your responsibility for them ( their "open vulnerability" may be an act).
That happened to me too.When I started expecting reciprocity from all my relationships all the poor relationships became glaringly clear .And I cleaned out.
agreed, mine was a covert and making his friends coming to me to "please accept his love, he loves you so much" such ignorant such inconsiderate people and honestly people who have too much free time, if he does love me he'd show me and I'll judge
Beautiful lady 😘😘🌷🌷🌷 I always take comfort in hearing this, as my sibling has full blown npd. She always smears me. I think this will never end. I have not responded to the smear, and I have not seen her for nearly 3 years. Minimal contact. She does call on occasion, because she needs energy, they lose it without speaking, getting your energy even just by a call. Not everyone is an empath with that good energy. I keep low response, compassionate but at a distance. It will take the hand of Jesus to heal her.
My narcissist abuser is my sister who is going to destroy her next victim...her new husband who needs a divorce lawyer that knows about narcissism. She has destroyed my life in Dublin with lies to anyone who will listen, so I moved to the country, she now wants to move to my village trying to buy a holiday home, my brothers are trying to stop her but we know we can't stop a narcissist. She swallowed thumb tacks on my confirmation and pretended to have cancer when I got married destroyed her ex husband with vicious lies and still stalks him 15 years later . Why can't she leave me alone ,she has money and success and is always miserable, I have little money but a happy family life that she wants ...HELP
No attention no supply no discussion with family about her..and a good strategy in place of no contact plus pre-planning in the event such a move could occur..take care
I have nothing to do with people that knew the narc. I had am incident in a supermarket where a flying monkey was virtually everywhere I was, I ignored her completely and carried on with my business. I felt elated with the way I handled that encounter.
My flying monkey went to my ex-husband's work (we are on good terms) and tried to send me a message through him warning me about my (our) narc she was involved with him as well.... by passing her phone number to my ex-husband. I never called her as she extorted me. She must of been going crazy I didn't call her and I bet she wonders if he was able to get me back as he got rid of her and she was crazy for him....I love silent treatment it has them stirring for ever... no closure. I'm glad I got the control in the end.
There is an interesting dynamic in relationships, which is that the first thing a person hears about us is what sticks in their mind as truth. Therefore, if we try to give our side of the story the flying monkeys won't believe it. It is best to completely ignore the narc and their flying monkeys and move on with your life. One day perhaps the flying monkeys will tire of hearing negative stuff and begin to see the problem is with the narc. However, if that never happens its alright too because we have moved on and are no longer focused on the drama and nonsense.
We will be victorious! This is building character within me & you. Your emotionally mature! You are stronger then you think. Shake the dust and keep going! Move in silence! Keep your head up! Never feel sorry for setting boundaries 💪😤💪❤️
I like what Tina said “ Thoes that listen to the Narcissist have their own agenda .”That helps me get ready for cutting the flying monkey s out of my life.❄️🎄⛄️
.I work in a large Corp office and I am highly efficient and have flying monkeys and NArc try to take me down! I am quiet and keep private life private at work it drives the narc & flying monkeys crazy so they choose to smear me, I am a narc survivor post 9 years ago. I am open to few people as a result. I get my enjoyment from plants and pets. My BOss is Narc 100 percent. People are jealous of me!
It has blown my mind when I realized their behaviors towards me was jealousy, and I was nooo don’t be, you shouldn’t be, I don’t want this from you but they are sooo broken that you have to walk away so they cannot be any where near you and spout their distaste at you, they are so mentally ill and will always be that way, run away from their toxicity, it is not any where the Peace that we want in our lives !!!
The covert narc I had would definitely go out tell his people that I was yelling at him, sometimes whole night. First of all, I don’t think what I reacted really is yell. Second and most importantly, why and what caused me “ yell” at him?! Why he really can’t find any other problem about me but only “ yell” at him?! Oh, is that because he was the one constantly shows me that he want me then don’t want me? Push me away then pull me back? Make me felt so insecure about what is he going to do next week? Or I shouldn’t “ yell” when he shows me he only will wear our emotionally committed ring when I am at his home and he will take it off when he is in front of his coworkers and even worse, his ex narcissist wife?!!! Or should I be continually just ok with him not doing anything for my birthday and went ahead booked a vacation place that actually is really for his interest? That’s after I asked him several times for take me to a place that I had beautiful time with him as my birthday wishes. He never said “ sorry that I messed up and I will book another vacation to the place you wanted to go for your birthday “. None! Yeah I was very hurt and mad, I did throw him bunch of angry text message , and all he give me back was “ you didn’t be able to tell me what you want instead of these yelling, pack your stuff and get out of my house!”. Oh, I did. Never talk to him for 1.5 year now. I wasn’t healthy emotionally for sure, but he is way higher scale of piece of shixt.
Oh, backfired? Hell ya!!! After 32 years of marriage and then discarded for a 36 year old gold digger who didn’t mind being a married mans dirty secret for TWO years!!!! I took his phone, deleted all his apps, blocked the mistress, deleted her contact and all pics/videos. He’s unreachable now…mmnnn I wonder how that must feel (hahahahah) Talk about a win for the team!!!!!
So happy I found you Paula! Your videos are what I wake up to and what I go to sleep to. You’ve been god sent for understanding this craziness I had to endure.
Don't pay attention to the smearing. All that truly matters is that God's love is the only true Power. Narcissist want you to live in fear....they want their Evil to have power. Only God is Power
When dealing with a disordered narcissist, one generally will have one of three outcomes (IMHO): Discarded, escaped, or figured them out and made a positive plan for yourself. Number three was best for me. During my days (2015) of research (it continues even to this day) into NARC behavior, one of the most important things I learned was: "Respond, never react."
Thank you for providing this life saving service! I actually ran across the Russian Psychiatrist who claims he coined the phrase Narcissistic abuse but his videos weird me out in major ways so I now avoid those tune into yours and couple other reputable ethical sources and vebeen blessed to come across!
It's very true - people tire of the narcissist. It doesn't happen over night but it does happen. I think healthy people naturally evolve and don't like associating with childish, negative, trash talking people. Nobody wants to be associated with that once they connect the dots.
I hear you. Thank you for your video. I discarded er 8 weeks ago. I am not worried about the smear campaign. I would rather be free and by myself then being with her... Thank you for reinforcing the smear campaign. I agree no reaction what so ever.
I got entangled with a narc 'friend' in my final two years at school. She made the last year sheer hell, affecting my relationships and grades. She still plays her games 50 years later, far away from me, fortunately.
Just described my ex to a t. It's liberating knowing I cottoned on before it became even worse, he's gone for now so I'll bore him to death by ignoring him. 😴 We need more people like you with this awareness most of us don't have! These creatures cause such damage, to be so evil and content with the destruction they cause is sickening.
This is a very well articulated and helpful video/lesson. Thank you Miss Paula. Please keep up the great work. I hope you are benefiting and healing with these talks as much as many of us are. 💜
Always remember... a lie has speed.. the TRUTH has endurance.
Isn't that the truth
Awww yeeeyah
@@rockstarofredondoawww yeah dawggg lol😂
Thank you for sharing. 😊🙏🪷
Dig deep, maintain your dignity and integrity.keep quiet.... Don't play with pigs you'll only get dirty. The TRUTH is undeniable and will always shine bright. Those that listen to the narc have their own agenda for doing so, you don't need them in your life. Shoulders back head held high. Keep moving forward... Thank you Paula
Thanks Tina..for your strong true words 🙏🌹
🎯
Facts
FUCK THE NARCISIST!😡
"Never wrestle with a pig. You'll only get dirty, and the pig likes it."--George Bernard Shaw
If your not careful, you will start becoming & acting like them. It was happening to me until i realized what was happening to me. Then i put a stop to it. I cleaned out my entire circle.
It is a very hard thing to deal with. You are much more stronger then you realize and you CAN do this. You are beautiful & you are loved. Always remember that, no matter what anyone else says.
@@danawilson1255 I told my truth and it set me free staying quiet was not an option for me because he hurt me and my son. Now I am free it works sometimes in your favor we cant stay silent when they verbally physically and financially abuse you it is easy for them to call you crazy . In the end it depends your situation. The family members were sad and provided me with information about him so yes people see their BS even family members get tired of them . 100%
I am so glad that you are able to speak out about what happened to you because it really does help to be set free. And i am glad that you and your son are safe
If it's ok with you, i would like to put you & your son on my prayer list
@@danawilson1255 Dana, I have been there as well ! Your words carry such wisdom for all of us. You are so strong !!! I am so sorry that you had to go through this God bless you ! I wish you happiness and peace ❤️
The more I ignore his disgusting behaviour, the more angry and crazy he gets. Everyone is finally seeing him for who he really is. Even the new supply.......😂🤣
It works ❤️
Omg yes!!! I tried to defend myself and then he went even more crazy. He exposed himself so badly I think he is bisexual aswell. Anyways it's been almost 2 months I haven't been on social media he looked like the enemy himself and now he has disappeared himself. Pathetic low life
To quote someone else who does videos like our excellent video presenter here who has soul.. I mean A SOUL TOO... "The best defense is a non-defense!" It doesn't mean you have something to "hide".
It just means that you're DONE continually playing their STUPID game! I'M SO DONE WITH THIS BULLSHIT TOO AND THOUGHT I WAS A WHILE AGO, but they had to hack my phone for years later and it's no privacy literally now for me. That's how evil and diabolical these people are. Talk about SCUM STAINS o humanity.
But there IS LIGHT/SUNSHINEat the end of the dark tunnel!
It gets better.. but sometimes it gets a little worse before it gets better.. if that makes any sense.
Stay strong! Don't let these people get their so-called "win" so easily. Intimidation from a fake self is all they have left. They're beyond DORK-ISH or souls of black. THEY'LL HAVE TO FACE THEMSELVES AND THEIR MAKER AT THE END OF THE DAY
The new supply is worst than he is
The most tragic is when this happens in your workplace, when you have no way to defend yourself, since all is done in a very covert way with nobody telling you what is happening. You end up being outcasted AND black listed forever, making it impossible to earn a living.
Hope they get it back 10 folds
Can’t imagine I am retired can’t imagine working w someone 😮😮😮😮😮😮🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
Totally agree. Seen it done. Another nefarious way a smear campaign can happen today is with narc "social justice warriors" in medical offices who can permanently smear you in your medical records saying you are "unstable" based on no facts. This can happen because someone in their criminal network that they socialize in - told them you are a racist. That can follow you nationwide forever. Also by stateing you are a racist to office workers can make your visits as a patient unsafe and follow you wherever you go! This is happening
@@ninath13 They usually start them because they are afraid of them happening to them.
This is tough job 5 in 3 years
Thats what I did: nothing...walk away, I let him talk all the lies, cause at one point I tried to defend myself...he went higher with the lies. So I said im not gonna focus on it no more. I stay focus on my healing and journey. And the sounds faded away. They need our response in the smear campaign to get more energy, because it drain our energy cause we trying to stop the lies. But I tell myself...there is a God, and that's it. Now his friends see him for who he really his. The best reaction during the smear campaign is NO REACTION...NONE. bear it out. Dont acknowledge the demon, remember they don't have a souls, they can't feel nothing, nothing. They need our fuel inorder to drive. Don't give them no fuel.
Really great,wise advice, all very true.
I had also done the exact same And gave "No reaction."
🙏💜
Yes, we have a bigger God. In our healing and journey let us fix our eyes on Him. He is our stronghold and protector.
Well Said. Will try to heed your advice
@@elleonard9568 Our reaction to their abusive BS is what they use to "prove" we are the "problem" to all their worshipful and dumbed down dupes.
@@reesedaniel5835 🎯... Precisely. Unfortunately however that literally means that you even have to take a time out from your children. Because they are being used like messenger's so that the narc can still get at you. It's sounds so sick...but I'm experiencing this. My kids need to wake up... I've just had to let go and get out of God's way because when I see how my children are struggling emotionally it gets me really upset. The narc knows just exactly that. I'm not going to fuel the fire by getting angry. I just pray that God will show them the truth and they can heal 🙏💌☕
They live by the rules of Evil. Don't believe they have any power. Disconnect completely and Trust God. The answer is Trust God.
and to work on your own healing.........God will help you to heal, learn to meditate, it will bring you the peace you need and allow you to have access to God within. this is a spiritual experience after all.
It was emotionally painful the time of the smear campaign. At the time I defended myself for a time. Then I was over it, I simply was exhausted & stopped caring what other people thort of me, because I had TRUTH on my side. It doesn't matter how long it may take but TRUTH always comes out & shines in its own perfect timing.
Did the truth come out? I'm waiting 3 years
That scares me. How long will it take so my boys see Thru it all and I regain some relations with them. They became his flying monkeys and became as toxic as him. This was the hardest thing I have ever been through in my almost 50 years of life, beats the abuse from him any-day, as this traumatized me even more then narcissistic rage and abuse, probably because I no longer cared about him for what he did, but I do love my children, they just don’t know and they blame me for leaving their dad. I’m so hurt
@@aleksandramakuch5133 same here. No one can hurt me as my 2 children. Time will heal.
@@monasky6693 some knew, others couldn't care less. I ve stopped caring. Thats the only solution I ve found. Only thing l ve gleamed from a lot of study is, other people are going through their own narcissist abuses. Pure evil has been on going since Bibical times. I do believe there's Karma, but not always within our sight/ life span. I ve an ongoing problem, l sought several solutions, but prayed feverish over. Finally, an answer came. DO NOTHING. GOD WILL TAKE CARE. PEACE
@@bettywhite8407 Truth. Beautiful.
Don't forget, they're just "portraying you as crazy" to those who never believed anyways. They're really no loss. You'll figure it out later
Amen Matt
...and for those who believe the smears; those people would believe anything bad about a target.
Yep I never did anything bad to my family. My mom and brother both smear campaigned me and my kids. My cousins, aunts and uncles who believe these horrible lies about me aren’t even worth being in our lives.
Smart people are always seen as "crazy" by dumb people.
Coverts LOVE the sympathy they get from telling others things that THEY are actually DOING in the backround (and have done the WHOLE time) also as a means to "deflect" blame and accountability.
Ultimate gaslighters.
covert and overts..they all play for sympathy to the unsuspecting or fooled ..
So, so true.
The only thing I did was block this person and take them out of my life. I am not reacting to their behavior because I know who I am and I will not give in to the BS of their smear campaign. Yes, it's uncomfortable and it has taken everything in me to not react but I feel that silence SCREAMS volumes!!!
Believe it when people show you who they really are! If people are so easily turned by the narcissist I don’t want them in my life ever again. They are dead to me as they fly around spreading negative hateful gossip!
Maintaining personal integrity is the most important thing, and the biggest challenge, when dealing with the smear campaign and those pesky, all-too-willing flying monkeys. The temptation for nasty revenge is temporally strong, but we must resist and rise above it. Trust that truth will prevail.
I no longer care what they choose to believe about me, but what do I say or when they look straight at me with the dirty looks??
Smear campaign on a child unbelievable, a innocent child. A person will smear their great grand niece unbelievable. The coward decide to attack my child instead. Pure evil.
Sorry to hear this
When I go out I put on a strategic mindset and look people in the eye. I let the world see that I'm a good woman and a loyal wife and friendly and kind.
I was alienated from my kids because of the narcissist, the only hope I have now is that people and my children will eventually see the truth. It’s been 7 years of hell on earth for me, I haven’t been able to move on with life at all
🌹🌹
Same for me;( he not only alienated my 18 and 20-year-old boys but completely turned them into flying monkeys, I have zero contact with them and they now live with him. They became as toxic as him to my soul and every day I wander how long it will be before they wake up and see the real him and maybe just maybe understand what I’ve been through and how they abandoned their mother as well, believing this awful person!!!
How old Were your children the time it happened?
Sending compassion 💛
Same here.
Children don’t have same experience and don’t understand. Blood is thicker than water.
God hears all and sees all.
Get yourself together and do something!
Don’t let it put your life at a stop. You have one life, live it. Get therapy. Do something. Grow strong
That’s how you beat them!
Smile! At least try!
it took a few years but when I was no longer his punching bag he began to do the exact same thing to my middle daughter. he had worked like hell to get her on his side to the point of giving her and her friends alcohol underage giving her her his own credit card you name it he kissed her ass until I wasn't around and she reminded him too much of me.
I’m perplexed. The smear campaign formed against me has backfired. I’ve seen it with my own eyes tonight. I needed to find a video that would resonate with what I’ve just experienced. Thanks 🙏🏿
🤓🌹
GREAT FOR YOU!!
Oh that’s soo cool for you, I have seen it too and it was Silence, patience and Prayer 🙏 and then I saw the backfire, and it’s not about getting them back, it’s about what is right and good and seeing the Lord’s hand in it and that is soo fulfilling in the heart ♥️ the truth always prevails with the Lord by your side 🙏❤️
@@notme4565 God bless you What an extremely powerful inspiring motivting brilliant messge You probably have no idea how motivtionl your messge is God bless you
Thank you so very much
You could mke your messge one of the m@in ones, i'd love to see more benefit from your brilliant messge👏🍀🙏God bless you
True 👍
I divorced my Ex a Narcissistic Sociopath 4 yrs ago. He put our 3 kids against me. I walked away in silence with Grace. I was abused by all and very painful situation. My kids continue to be estranged. Where is the Justice??
this is horribly painful, I know. same here. my mother did this and seemed to have won in every regard. no one in my family talks to each other but this is also what happened to my mother's immediate family so left unchecked, this keeps going generationally.....let go, let God, work on your Self, God sees all, God sees the heart......trust JUSTICE WILL PREVAIL. go to God, heal your Self......this is what I am left with and I am the only one who is happy and has God, none of them do but each person has been given the gift of free will, so all you can do is change and heal yourself. God bless you, Claudia........
@Narc Con thank you for sharing this with all of us. Smear campaigns are the worse. The narcissists want to leave you with no one.
With no one except them.
You said it exactly right. Reach out to NEW friends and NEW family. Wickedness and betrayal at their level comes from demons that have 1000’s of years of experience how to destroy souls.
@@deborahwilcox631 great advice.
Yes
@@sandimack7217 facts
Remember one thing they fail with everyone, so just forgive yourself and get away and their little toxic smear campaign will fail also,same old game just a different person, regardless of anything karma will have their address 😂 every dog has their day.
❤️🐕
He told our old mutual friends I was a bad mother. They started checking up on me and reporting my movements to him. It was so surreal
She is so right. I fell into my moms trap and got angry. I finally blew up and guess what she told me?!
I said, mom why are you telling everyone lies and that I’m crazy? She responded with “ You made it too easy” as she giggled.
How disgusting, I finally stopped all emotional baggage I was carrying, I held onto so much pain and shame believing that I was the problem. Now I see the truth!!!! I will never speak to my mom or brother again. My mom groomed my brother to be just like her!!! MY ENEMY!!!!! As kids she always told my brother look at your sister! She is a bad Apple with disgust on her face.
When you know Christ loves you.. That is enough.. The narcissists have no influence in our lives..
This has been the most excruciatingly painful experience. I'm still persevering,but I don't know if they actually really realize the enormity of the betrayal and devastation and pain they caused. And how working through the anger takes time. I'm going to focus on getting the anger out of me, getting fit, and start staying quiet and be dignified. The campaign which tried to destroy me ,only made me stronger. I can see that now. I think that deep inside they're just scared to be found out. It comes from a place of deep insecurity. Mine tried to kill me ,over and over. That's just heart shattering betrayal. Not once. But repeatedly. So,I'm just practicing radical acceptance, forgiveness, and finding out what lessons I had to learn from this. I do think there's pain on both sides. And I regret my part in feeding the fire. Sometimes having way too much emotions really really sucks . I guess I'll just wish him well, and focus on becoming the person I want to be. My life and reputation are ruined, and I've honestly never met a more viciously vindictive person.But,I'm learning important lessons. Be Very Very Careful Who You Trust. If they're rushing things ..RUN
If they're pressuring you to have sex RUN
If I had had stronger boundaries I wouldn't have been easy prey. Just say No
Hugs!!!
Thank you for your deep insight 🌹
Girl....forget the pity for their deep insecurity. They are much more. The devil has children too. JESUS said that.
You don't have "way too much emotions".......You are not the problem. The narc(s) are emotionally RETARDED. Literally. They have no divine spark in them, no conscience, no empathy. They are meatsuits filled with demons. See Psalm 58:3-5 KJV or NKJV
Sounds like you're an empath. These people can sense that sort of thing. God bless
I am happy that you are free and hopefully has developed strong boundries now because your level of compassion after all you have been through shows that you could be trapped again otherwise. Lovebombing is a strong drug. God bless you and keep you safe 🙏🙂🕊🦋
I have been and currently being smeared by my narcissistic sibling. I have not been able to defend myself and this sibling has been able to drive my one child away from me. It is a nightmare that never seems to end.
I hope you can seek support for this 🌹
God bless and protect you and evetyone that has is or God forbid could experience such egregious abuse.
Dear LiberalGeorgia God bless you Million fold 🍀🙏I'm so so sorry,,, to hear anyone whtsoever could turn your wonderful child, again st you:-This is horrendous God bless you 🍀🙏Ple@se don't lose faith, m@int@in strength & know that the truth will come to light eventually Nothing surprises me concerning nrcissists behaviour n lies, but lying about you to your beloved dear Child, truly is, the lowest of the low
With God's guidance & in God's graceful way, let the real truth be known to your Child Don't allow your sibling to get away with it
You can stnd up for yourself, with true divine grace, The Lion & The L@mb Ple@se keep us updated, on how things have progressed for you Much love to you & your brilliant Child M@y no one,,, try to destroy your bond ever again 💡🍀🙏
This has happened to me and my oldest daughter was driven from me by my now deceased mother and siblings. Now I have cousins and others doing it with her and my granddaughter. My youngest was influenced by my ex husband. My grandchildren are immeshed in a toxic upbringing and unfortunately and unknowingly being taught to hate me. Therapy and videos help. It’s been an ongoing, years long process but I focus on living my life and bringing happiness to myself. I plan to write a book.
@@lisaqualls5719 God bless you You've been through the ringer Praying for you to be guided, & life to be filled with abundant blessings for you 👍🍃🙏
WOW!! I am right in the middle of my smear FEST right now! It’s an all out circus. I escaped from a 16 year relationship 7 months ago and he is doing EVERYTHING you said and more. No, I have not broken my no contact, It’s solid. Just enough information was brought to me so I’m not surprised. The public display of disrespect is horrifying, 🥲I haven’t taken the bait. Now that I’ve watched this. Not another word!! Thank you so much for your part in helping us survivors understand this disorder.
🙏❤️
What sucks his they try to keep you from just living your life and being happy. Vile.
I recognise him in what you say about the victim sounding crazy. He shouted and abused me for no reason. As soon as I couldn't take anymore and shouted back to stand up for myself he rang his friend and said "listen to what I have to put up with" and he went quiet. We split up after I caused him a narcissistic injury by finishing with him first. He damaged my property and tried to steal my car - I hid my keys. But it took me years to find out he was a malignant narcissist.
I get uncomfortable when someone is always coming to me with mean, hateful things about someone. This is especially true when it is always the same person that keeps slandering specific people all the time, yet, no one else has anything similar to say about those people...🚩🚩🚩🚩
I must always stay away. My nm is hoovering me. It never stops. Thankyou for your videos.
Kay Caringi, you bet your life that you have to keep that evil sicko away from you. Are you answering the hoovers? Gosh I hope you'll reply " hell no".
I dont answer hoovers. Been nc a couple years. My nm and my ns flying monkey still never stop trying to get at me, though. I am done with them 100%.
@@kaycaringi8851 I had the same thing until I changed the phone number and went black out, silent to everyone. It’s not possible for everyone. But any little thing you can do to never let them back in. When you block them they can still get to you. That doesn’t work. You must change the phone number if possible and realize that they really are strangers and you don’t need their bullshit anymore!!!
I got off of social media but one, but it is locked up, but I do still want to see some of my true friends things 😊
Seriously it’s not worth your mental health to keep the damn phone number, or email it’s not.
It’s like sooo freeing and peaceful knowing that they can’t reach you only who you want to have it has it !!!
And YOU do not owe them anything or anything about you, it’s none of their business what your doing and it’s none of our business to know what their doing because they are going to do whatever they do, we seriously have no control over that, that’s the Lord’s job 🙏
In my case I did nothing, I didn't react publicly on the smear campaign, I left from that community, did cut off all fake people. But I don't have feeling like it backfired on him. He still stayed popular in that community. Like if people couldn't put 2+2 together and realize there is something shady about him. He described me as someone having anger issues. I didn't show any publicly but still people wasn't on my side. I wonder, why it didn't backfire on him? No one were questioning his gossips, he only claimed adoration and popularity.
Edit: even the new supply saw how he is obsessed with gossiping about me - she kinda participated in gossip chat too a little, and still after this all she decided to go into relationship with him. 🙄
What I learnt about smear campaigns. Based on people who is hearing what a narcissist is saying about a target, it speaks volumes on what sort of people they are themselves. As you had said, if they cannot out 2 and 2 together then that person had never been on your side from the start and to be easily persuaded proved that they were willing to switch up and participate in a mob of lies to put you down as well. I hope you are doing well and do not let these people get to you.
I kind of experiencing the same issue too, and mines a college community where I left the community to take new classmates because they are buying what he was saying and didn't even have "critical thinking" to consider a thing or two, but really I thought, let them though I don't need their support anyways because they were never in my side from the first place, they weren't my friends from the first place, so why bother?
I do sometimes feels sad that I wish they could figure him out because he is a dangerous person, but hey, whatever they do I just stay silent and be on my own company even he have sent his "spies" to spy on me on my new class which honestly doesn't bother me if I just don't care. so have faith and I wish you well. we are in this together
Sorry to hear this. The good is they have to live with themselves and you get to walk away. Everything done to you will happen to new supply its just love bombing stage.
@@taraarrington2285 Update: Even after 2 years the new supply keeps spreading his lies about me (the new girl of my ex narc). I don't think she will get the same as I did. I think narcissits will abuse more the empaths, pure hearted people than the toxic, demanding, low vibe new supply. As it was clear from my relationship when he didnt want to make it public with me, but with her he did. Or he helped her much more at the start. I know he is not neglectig her as he did to me. Not watching them anymore but this is all what I noticed before. And I truly believe they abuse some people less. (I wouldn't call her victim because she is corrupted person for participating smear campaign and even after 2 years spreading gossips she has no proof about.)
@@DZ-jz8bj sorry to hear that. It may not seem like he's abusing her yet but these snakes don't change. God bless. Sounds like you're way better off. Get an order of protection if you have to I've done it b4.
It’s true. With time and patience their true colours and motives come out when you remain silent and look from the outside without engaging. Just watch the drama that they wished upon you unfold to their shame, not that I think they feel shame, unfold bit by bit. I believe that they will try to find whatever bit of supply is left, to get the upper hand, but they will eventually collapse. Have faith.
One would that people would question the narcissist, however when the narc is wealthy, employs your family members and friends and then these people have negative thought tendencies or are envious, they are all too willing to follow along with the false narrative of the narc.
👍 yep seen it , it’s really deplorable, I always think, don’t they know God is watching them, but then I realized they don’t care, they are empty souls, they know nothing about God like we do 🙏
Thats all ive ever gotten
I was in a very similar boat and your situation is very difficult to fight against. It broke my heart to come to the realization that money was more important to my brother than our relationship. His jealous wife pushed him further, sucking up to the wealthy narc. It’s been quite sometime, and I’ve grieved the loss and healed with a very qualified therapist and lots of intense, difficult inner work. It helped that my other brother interceded and he and I reconnected (not the narc). Once I was completely out of the line of fire, the narc must find someone else to treat like shit. Sadly, they always do.
I agree. What I experienced was, I was on the receiving end of the smear campaign of the toxic person about her whom she called best friend. I used to worked with both of them. I have no any clue back then what I was dealing with, all I knew was I was not so comfortable listening, but with my empathetic heart, I wanted to give a holding space for that "hurting" toxic person so i thought. Full of sob story, 'i'm the victim' kinda. I bought all those stories, those stories moved me, and sort of manipulated my empathetic heart. I was that naive. I only realized all these things when I came across npd and did a little research and saw the patterns. So I wont be surprised if this person had bad mouth me behind my back when I walked away, really you actually reach the point of indifference where you just won't care anymore. This exact scenario happened too with a family member of mine, and still happening but I am not buying it, lols.
This is what I learned : avoid people who loves gossip and loves to gossip. Have nothing to deal with them.
It feels so good to be free and thriving to what is good and true.
Thanks Paula, and God bless you!
🙏❤️
Yes Sir.
No sir
Three bags full sir.
Have you gossied about ME!
Or would you call it. Just having some clear insight about me and my situation
?
Disgusting filth.
DISGUSTING!
That last comment was key. “They will self distruct”
Honestly, it's becoming like fun to deal with narcissist properly.
True that, they only have power we give them and with hindsight, education and freedom from brain fog they become tragically boring and predictable. I find that once identified the most excruciating thing for them is just casual observation, knowing they can be " seen" and still not worthy of even a negative reaction. they then begin to skurry like a roach frantically trying to find a dark corner. Fumbling through the rolodex of masks and automated responses while hiding their hollow eyes. Careful tho they will write a new program to protect the ego so as not to be destroyed in the same manner twice , it's best just to just remain vigilant and only draw your sword when they have crossed a boundary or for protection of the innocent
That’s what I found.
Total understand this 37years of abuse ❤️
I’m 30 in but now done🙏
The only bad part is- he turned my 2 boys against me- flying monkeys and I lost touch with them completely. Heart breaking. They are 18 and 20 and blame me that I left him and now apparently I’m the selfish one
This is 100% truth, I can vouch for that, but you will have to be patient and just know they always slip up. Persecution and smear campaigns are military like training in self empowerment.
Make it backfire BIG TIME!
I don't even know there is a smear campaign. I'm too busy with my life. Thank you anyway. I'm just thanking the people the people that helped me . That's all.
Simply put you have to cut all your own emotions and put a poker face and stay silent all the time with them, it is insane and feels horrible, it's best to get out of that cage.
Being silent is all you can do.
Peaceful you will feel🌸
Growth in understanding ✨️ and knowing 💫 moving 🎀 forward is a gift unwrapping it little by little ✨️ 😊
Hate to be ignored. Need some kind of supply rather good or bad just stare at it with no emotions remember the silent treatment from it return it back watch how it destroy them
the people who sat back and did not tell me about the gossip the narc was saying about me I ended contact with them. I told them the truth and I told them what shit the narc was talking about them and others. I then also told them I want nothing to do with them because of their relationship with my enemy. one of these "friends" has been trying to get thru to me for 3 years now. now there is no serenity between him and the narc anymore and no trust either.
Paula people need to stop Worrying about the smear campaign ! “ it’s the Fox can’t reach the grape ( you ) and will tell everyone that grape is sour , it’s no good “ ! I personal took the smear campaigns as one of my biggest motivator - I make sure I did not connect to the BS or fall apart from it ! What I did was raise above his words and is crew ! I work on self , fix my boundaries, After awhile people within their own crew will start wondering who was the problem , allow your now life to speak who you are !
Sometimes the trauma caused by the narc abuse causes survivors to suffer from verbal vomit. Just share with trusted sources. That can be hard to do.
Right!
@Andrea Brewer agreed
On Point...I really had problems, especially right after I got out. If someone asked how I was doing at the wrong moment...🥲
There is conviction in every word or sentence they utter.
It is self-condemning.
In fact not a motive but as fact a pathology.
They express pride often as an attribute for...but deny any awareness they have the problem.
Must grow strong first, and nurture, then we can survive ill consequence.
The condemnation of the narcissists Smear Campaign. A strategy yes, but of extreme discord.
Bluntening towards my reality,,? No thanks 🙏
Yes it was hard
The Narcissist taught me not to live in the Vortex of Validation! Freedom! Power!
My "mother" has been smearing me since I was 6. She used to make fun of me & call me a victim for being bullied at school. She told me to go in & fight them, then when I did she made a big drama out of me being "violent," which is a smear she still uses today. That's just one example. Extended family I haven't seen for years have been surprised when they've met me, they're usually expecting someone completely demented!
🌹🌹
It is terrible. I think my mother put make up on and accused me of punching her when I was like 6 or something. I only remembered when my brother brought it up decades later. She turned my brother against me with that and must have been bringing it up when I wasn't around. I remember vaguely at the time it was really weird. I was being accused but didn't know what was going on. It was soon erased like i couldn't process the episode and was drawn back into the happy families lie. Even if I did punch her there would have to have been some reason whereas this was all about painting me bad. If I had remembered such things I might have got away from them sooner. Gosh my brother probably didn't even remember me being accused at the actual time. He certainly didn't see anything himself. I don't think it actually happened. my parents could be worse than i even realise. to come up with an idea like that they would have had to have been getting ideas from really bad people.
Yes, I have had a similar experience, I've been called crazy, lazy, delusional, alcoholic, the list goes on and on. By my mother and my siblings. There are 2 specific people with Mt mother that I call the witches coven, as all they do is sit and discuss other family members. Of course I saw my mother briefly on her birthday and within an hour started triangulation with me of said members of witches coven. Even at 84 she still plays these games....
I can't keep silent on what they do. I got mad and did act crazy and it felt great. But now I will stop and be silent
I shouldn’t but I need to comment on this while I am smiling.
I learned from a previous relationship about narcissism. Read about, learned about it but I never thought I would go through this again.
An ex boyfriend contacted me a year ago by email asking how I was doing bla,bla, bla….
Of course, polite as I am I responded in the best positive way that I was happy, got a new fantastic job… etc…
That was enough to set him off but I didn’t realized that at the time.
We met up and I fell in love with him. Stupid me!
Long story short.
I moved in with him (stupid, I know. No need to tell me ) but at the time it all made perfect sense.
A new start in life.
So, I gave up my home, garden, friends, job and moved. Found a new job immediately. But friends not so much. It were his friends, read…drinking friends, they are all using each other for different purposes.
Nevertheless, as I don’t drink bc I have a responsibility to my work.. I was quickly labeled as a pitbull, bitch etc…
But I attended to my duties, working full time, cleaning, gardening, chores, cooking, his needs etc..
and he did nothing all day. Watching television.
I did notice some things in the beginning but nothing could break my good spirit.
I thought !!!
But his ways of just sitting there, doing nothing, burping out loud, farting, trying to shock me…soon started to drain the life out of me. As an early bird in the morning, I am tired in the evening and couldn’t always perform…so he starts sleeping on the couch.
We were getting married in May, he ghosts me after all the criticisms he gave me three weeks prior to the wedding and I went no contact. I just let him be.
He texted me 6 days later’ I miss you’…
I told him I find myself a bit too good to be put in such a situation. I have that ‘dash’ more.
He came back then. by beginning June he left again. In an argument I told him I was “enough “ that I am enough! And if he can’t see that he’s definitely not my person. He got mad and said ‘ how can you say this about yourself’ I just smiled.
He left! He took on a lawyer to get me out of the house. If I was not gone by end October I had to pay €100,- a day as a fine. During my time with him I paid 1200€ every month for expenses, rent etc…
Last weekend I moved out of the house, without him knowing anything. I took all my things and with help from a couple of friends I got out.
I am hearing now that he’s asking how I did it, where did I go.. nobody knows!!!
I am starting a new life.
I heard the smear campaign to his parents, friends, but never reacted
He came over to see my daughter and did the same smear and she took his side which shocked me even more.
Anyway I moved out.
Left him for what I know now what he is but I am glad it was just a year and that I had that previous experience.
He can drown in his beer for all I care. Feel sorry for the parents. They are elderly and afraid of him certainly so sponsoring him financially cause he’s got nothing. They appreciated me.. I know.
He can move back to his house now, and pay it all by himself. The garden will die by the devil’s energy.
My blessings are coming.
Smear campaigns are the narcissists’ self-soothing tactic. It’s not personal to the target. People will see through it eventually. Think of a time you saw through someone else too.
No, even with decades of a history doing this, MANY people DON'T see thru it.
The truth does NOT always come out in the end.
And sadly, the people who DO see thru it, don't give a shit cuz it's not happening to them.
Ur screwed
Amazing,after divorce i did that haply . now he try hard to let me know that he got marred again. but grey rock is there .LOL
I am so glad on found this video clip. I have a narcissist Mom who lives with me and my Family. Every Holiday trashed every Birthday Party trashed. And finally Easter Sunday ruined. After the episode on Easter Sunday I decided finally to go no contact. We do have separate living quarters, making it a bit easier. We still have to walk on egg shells. It has been about three weeks of no contact and how quickly the flying monkeys and the great smear campaign come into play. I had re- searched this a lot and this is the BEST explanation by far in this short video. Thank You soo much for posting this and I need to get stronger day by day and your presentation just gave me the ultimate courage to feeling better about myself, and guiding my Family to move forward understanding her condition.
Read the Bible carefully with the help of the Holy Spirit and you will see that Ishtar the Fertility Goddess aka (EASTER) and all the other "holidays" are pagan and an abomination to God. Even celebrating one's "birthday" was only done by the pagan Kings in the Bible. God is calling you away from all that nonsense. "Christmas" is Nimrod's birthday celebration disguised as the "Christs" bday. He was the first ANTICHRIST so he was a "christ" so to speak. The satanist's know what day this really is, the "Christians" who still partake of it are dupes, most willfully duped. The satanic govt would not allow this day or any of the others if they had anything to do with the real Jesus Christ. And the so called "military" days are celebrations by them of all the human sacrifices via their contrived wars that were really used to cull the population of God's good seedline.
what u said about the narc running into the good souls is true. When u are spreading negativity and rumors good souls never just automatically take something someone says about another person as the truth. We are fair enough to always stay neutral until we hear from the person that the possible lies are being spread about. Meaning until I speak with them personally and tell them so and so is saying xyz about u is it true? and give them a chance to respond to the allegations We dont think negatively about the person. As a matter of fact because we in lots of cases have been thru smear campaigns ourselves from narcs in our past we can actually sense the jealousy and envy coming off of the narc thats spreading the lies about the person they are jealous of. Its also just tooo much information about these types out there for people to fall for their bs. The truth always comes out and lies fall apart over time anyways…
spot on. when I was going through my divorce and learning that this man was not who I thought he was and he would do anything to destroy me and look good doing it I was told by a counselor who could see him for who he was all she kept saying was don't play his game don't play his game play a different game. she was actually our mediator and was supposed to be neutral but she couldn't stand it anymore and at one point they separated us and this is when she gave me this unsolicited personal advice. she told me her story which was exactly what I was about to enter. I began to do that even though I wasn't sure what I was doing but if he expected me to jump I'd sit still if you wanted me to sit still I'd jump. it confused the hell out of them and he started to mimic me in frustration. one of my favorite tactics was to give him the exact same line no matter what email or text message he sent me it was always something like I will take that to prayer. after a while he started to do the same thing it was pretty funny. they can be beat!!
My wife has just capitulated after two years if going no contact with my covert Narc daughter inlaw and my son .The smear campaign is intense they are trying to make me out to be the loonitic that I am going insane making connections with all my enemies. I am isolated an on my own my wife is now in their camp and need to break free from all of them.
💯 % Truth. I ve seen instances where these horrible narcissist experiences difficulties, from sources other than any thing l could have planned for them. Karma, if you will is a Bit×#h.
The discard would be a lovely blessing. Looking forward that day. There is no civil, fair or just ordinary living. All I do now I watch her causing havoc, guilt tripping and drama every day for over 30years and I can see her almost loosing her marbles. I married for better or worse and by the heavens the worse in like a continuously ongoing war. Disengaged now and a sense of peace comes over me. I pity them really. Take care everyone out there. God bless.
Loser
Leave her alone
Thank you. I needed the validation that I am on the right track. My Narc Dad has recently passed. My siblings are now painting the picture that I abandoned all of them. The truth is I had to step away because he was so abusive and they blamed me for it. It was actually with the help of a good therapist who actually trains other therapists that I was able to have the courage to step away from a situation that was abusive for me. I offered to help with his care in other ways either by paying $500.00 a month(what I could afford) or bringing meals to my siblings to support them when they cared for him. I offered to do behind the scenes work so that I would not have to be in his presence. They are now posting cryptic messages on FB about knowing who really cares when the chips are down. They have told me as much as well. They would never of course post about how abusive our father was. No, he was protected and I was scapegoated. The truth teller always gets the brunt of the abuse. It pains me to have to grieve the loss of my siblings but I’ve come to realize they want to continue our fathers legacy and not get help so that we can have a loving healthy relationship. This has been going on for most of my life I just wasn’t ready to face it until a few years ago.
Yall must of not gone through a heavy smear campaign like me. When they involve the court and others it's not easy to ignore or just block them. When they build a whole team against you it's hard to ignore
Mary 🙋♀️..when it goes to that legal level it’s essential to respond..sorry to hear this 🌹
@@NarcCon It was brutal smear campaign, but I won due to me having proof of his abuse several months before he discarded me in a very humiliating was. He called the cops and used my gun and mental health to get me out the house a few days later he started moving out and then filed for divorce. I was able to get a PO on him and with that he could lose his security clearance with the military. He has taken me to court to prove I'm mentally unstable and should be committed. Two judges don't agree with him.
@@DOTMH_1 oh wow, I am sooo happy for you that the judges saw the truth 👍🙏 the truth prevails, Thank you Lord
I went through a heavy smear campaign even to getting kicked out of my home due to a lie to obtain a restraining order against me which was dismissed and I was able to get one instead against him because of the truth of his abuse! I was also smeared so badly on social media and still am! What I say is “I don’t need to defend myself on social media because what matters is the truth that is proven in real life and for me in court”. Use it to your advantage to see who else to cut off.
@@tamikanorment9580 Yesss all that matters is the truth and We know it and first and foremost, so does God 💫
So true the Karma is real i seen it with my own eyes ..many male narcs have children and do not see how their actions trickle down to their offspring.Sorry not sorry.
It’s a mini them learned behavior some of this ❤
Yes Paula I would agree fully No reaction As hard as that sounds it works I can only imagine what my ex Narc has said about me to the new Supply and her family over the years They dont know me or who I am The only thing I do know is that the people who know me couldnt be swayed by his Lies They know me and who I am Thankfully even though I didnt know about Narrsissim my gut feeling was dont react to some of the things I heard back Be as strong as you can Say Nothing Lovely video and spot on Paula
Great advice! I tried not to do. But he had gotton a full discription,after he provoked me,over the phone.
I don't have to imagine what he has lied about me, to his new supply or the many more supplies, their families And friends,as he spread his pathological lies against me,publically throughout social media;(smear campaignes.) Same,he couldnt sway my family And friends,who do know me,with his lies.
I love listening to your voice . Lovely lady ✨
Thanks 🌹
What a great video! I am right now experiencing this in my family! But thank god, I have gone no contact 2 years ago.
This makes me think of celebrities, when the media is inventing stories around them. They have to take it on a daily basis! And most of them handle it gracefully. Heidi Klum is so good in it! She simply doesn´t show any reaction and shows herself in public even more calm cool and collected. Please don´t get me wrong, I am not saying, that it´s the same sh*** like "ours". But the effect of such a reaction is very powerful.
Your awesome all over again
Thank you Jody for all of your kind words of support. God bless you 🙏
Excellent job..I love your work.
Thank God, my narcissist experience was with “acquaintances” who are no loss. I had an alt journalist from Boston (Quincy) contact me after reading an article by a real journalist about my whistleblower illegal persecution and abuse by my former employer (NSA). She did several articles on various aspects of the true experience, but after a while, tried to get me involved in her really nasty and psycho cyberstalking smear campaign against another woman she considered a rival. I told her no, and her response to me and another woman (a pastor) was that we were “bad Christians”, had bad judgement, and bad character if we did not engage in her degenerate behavior with her or for her. She even threatened to smear me if I did not and went crazy doing so. She wrote several delusional articles never, ever addressing the real issue but she relied on vague “word salad” insults and fabrications that evolved until she settled into lies she thought others would buy. She of course threatened the other witness to shut up and tried with varying success to get others to lie, to become her flying monkeys, if she gave them 15 minutes of “fame”. She even presented an 8x felon as a “legal expert” and a methhead addict and shoplifter as a “light worker” in a couple podcasts used to attack me for daring say no to being her puppet. She even said, “I owed her” for publishing my story. Frankly, it is an important story she was lucky to get. But then she published several articles saying I was a fake… despite my tons of supporting documents she has seen to some degree and a lawsuit in play based on that evidence. She really looks like a psycho who can’t make up her mind. Believe it or not, she will not remove the previous true stories wholly and obviously contradicting her recent delusional articles, which truly makes her look the fool. And, she has set herself up for a major defamation lawsuit… that is certainly coming.
Satan is the author of confusion....
Thank you for your knowledge of the subject and your kindness in telling the story .
You are appreciated more than you will ever know and I sincerely thank you♥️
🙏🌹
To help the smear campaign backfire , produced documentary evidences including recordings. Depending on what you're dealing with and whom ! I would advise recording and documenting everything...their conversations with you and against you, texts, emails , photos ( and don't tell them you're recording) other wise its game on and they will perform to make YOU look crazy.
Lovely shirt dear. Great topic. I too have experienced the smear campaign. To destroy peoples lives and crush their careers and relationships. We do all need to brainstorm ways to call out smears during a smear to effectively combat bad behavior with actionable thought that addresses the problem and need for solutions.
Totally agree 💯🙌
Sept îles Québec Canada
Excellent arsenal for times of war. Thank you so much, lady!
Honestly everything you talk about totally resonates with me. You are just so great. I’m sure you are helping a lot of people. Just love your channel and your Irish accent. Both my grandparents came from Ireland. Sheridan is the name
Hey Michelle yes Sheridan a great Irish name ❤️.. thanks for your support
The problem is everything you described can be used by the narcissist against the victim.
And is. No contact is the only solution
If they are allowed 😂
I wonder if there is any legal recourse. Like a restraining order or suing them for breach of contract in some cases. They lie and manipulate all of the time. Slander is so hard to win. These psychos are monsters and are destructive.
One of ur best and yes, ur crucial info is helping us to regain our very lives 🙏🏾
“Losing control of their presentation” 🙌🏾 brilliant 💫
Are you peaking into my life? You have the ability to tap into my world and put out a video that really strikes a cord with me. I especially related to putting out good vibes and they return to you-because that is what I really struggled with. I wanted to say such negative things to betray his inner nature to all so, I wrote letters that I never sent but would reread when I began to doubt myself. God bless
It should absolutely backfire on them.
I never responded. I bit the Bullet of the smear campaign. Best decision ever! I refused to roll in the mud. Total Block! Total No Contact! Now? Victory is mine of course🙂
What I did was to eventually ( organically), started to ask for things to make it less one sided. After a while, there was some clarity about how one sided it had been. Also, if someone says they love you, it's not your responsibility for them ( their "open vulnerability" may be an act).
That happened to me too.When I started expecting reciprocity from all my relationships all the poor relationships became glaringly clear .And I cleaned out.
@@danawilson1255 100% spot on.
agreed, mine was a covert and making his friends coming to me to "please accept his love, he loves you so much"
such ignorant such inconsiderate people and honestly people who have too much free time, if he does love me he'd show me and I'll judge
Beautiful lady 😘😘🌷🌷🌷 I always take comfort in hearing this, as my sibling has full blown npd. She always smears me. I think this will never end. I have not responded to the smear, and I have not seen her for nearly 3 years. Minimal contact. She does call on occasion, because she needs energy, they lose it without speaking, getting your energy even just by a call. Not everyone is an empath with that good energy. I keep low response, compassionate but at a distance. It will take the hand of Jesus to heal her.
My narcissist abuser is my sister who is going to destroy her next victim...her new husband who needs a divorce lawyer that knows about narcissism.
She has destroyed my life in Dublin with lies to anyone who will listen, so I moved to the country, she now wants to move to my village trying to buy a holiday home, my brothers are trying to stop her but we know we can't stop a narcissist.
She swallowed thumb tacks on my confirmation and pretended to have cancer when I got married destroyed her ex husband with vicious lies and still stalks him 15 years later .
Why can't she leave me alone ,she has money and success and is always miserable, I have little money but a happy family life that she wants ...HELP
No attention no supply no discussion with family about her..and a good strategy in place of no contact plus pre-planning in the event such a move could occur..take care
@@NarcCon thank you and love your channel.
Tell them I will 🎉
I have nothing to do with people that knew the narc.
I had am incident in a supermarket where a flying monkey was virtually everywhere I was, I ignored her completely and carried on with my business.
I felt elated with the way I handled that encounter.
My flying monkey went to my ex-husband's work (we are on good terms) and tried to send me a message through him warning me about my (our) narc she was involved with him as well.... by passing her phone number to my ex-husband. I never called her as she extorted me. She must of been going crazy I didn't call her and I bet she wonders if he was able to get me back as he got rid of her and she was crazy for him....I love silent treatment it has them stirring for ever... no closure. I'm glad I got the control in the end.
True. Everything you said is exactly the case. Thank you Pola❤
There is an interesting dynamic in relationships, which is that the first thing a person hears about us is what sticks in their mind as truth. Therefore, if we try to give our side of the story the flying monkeys won't believe it. It is best to completely ignore the narc and their flying monkeys and move on with your life. One day perhaps the flying monkeys will tire of hearing negative stuff and begin to see the problem is with the narc. However, if that never happens its alright too because we have moved on and are no longer focused on the drama and nonsense.
We will be victorious! This is building character within me & you. Your emotionally mature! You are stronger then you think. Shake the dust and keep going! Move in silence! Keep your head up! Never feel sorry for setting boundaries 💪😤💪❤️
I like what Tina said “ Thoes that listen to the Narcissist have their own agenda .”That helps me get ready for cutting the flying monkey s out of my life.❄️🎄⛄️
This information was really helpful. Thank you for sharing your wisdom.
.I work in a large Corp office and I am highly efficient and have flying monkeys and NArc try to take me down! I am quiet and keep private life private at work it drives the narc & flying monkeys crazy so they choose to smear me, I am a narc survivor post 9 years ago. I am open to few people as a result. I get my enjoyment from plants and pets. My BOss is Narc 100 percent. People are jealous of me!
It has blown my mind when I realized their behaviors towards me was jealousy, and I was nooo don’t be, you shouldn’t be, I don’t want this from you but they are sooo broken that you have to walk away so they cannot be any where near you and spout their distaste at you, they are so mentally ill and will always be that way, run away from their toxicity, it is not any where the Peace that we want in our lives !!!
The covert narc I had would definitely go out tell his people that I was yelling at him, sometimes whole night. First of all, I don’t think what I reacted really is yell. Second and most importantly, why and what caused me “ yell” at him?! Why he really can’t find any other problem about me but only “ yell” at him?! Oh, is that because he was the one constantly shows me that he want me then don’t want me? Push me away then pull me back? Make me felt so insecure about what is he going to do next week? Or I shouldn’t “ yell” when he shows me he only will wear our emotionally committed ring when I am at his home and he will take it off when he is in front of his coworkers and even worse, his ex narcissist wife?!!! Or should I be continually just ok with him not doing anything for my birthday and went ahead booked a vacation place that actually is really for his interest? That’s after I asked him several times for take me to a place that I had beautiful time with him as my birthday wishes. He never said “ sorry that I messed up and I will book another vacation to the place you wanted to go for your birthday “. None! Yeah I was very hurt and mad, I did throw him bunch of angry text message , and all he give me back was “ you didn’t be able to tell me what you want instead of these yelling, pack your stuff and get out of my house!”. Oh, I did. Never talk to him for 1.5 year now. I wasn’t healthy emotionally for sure, but he is way higher scale of piece of shixt.
Oh, backfired? Hell ya!!! After 32 years of marriage and then discarded for a 36 year old gold digger who didn’t mind being a married mans dirty secret for TWO years!!!! I took his phone, deleted all his apps, blocked the mistress, deleted her contact and all pics/videos. He’s unreachable now…mmnnn I wonder how that must feel (hahahahah) Talk about a win for the team!!!!!
So happy I found you Paula! Your videos are what I wake up to and what I go to sleep to. You’ve been god sent for understanding this craziness I had to endure.
🙋♀️🙏🌹
Don't pay attention to the smearing. All that truly matters is that God's love is the only true Power. Narcissist want you to live in fear....they want their Evil to have power. Only God is Power
When dealing with a disordered narcissist, one generally will have one of three outcomes (IMHO): Discarded, escaped, or figured them out and made a positive plan for yourself. Number three was best for me. During my days (2015) of research (it continues even to this day) into NARC behavior, one of the most important things I learned was: "Respond, never react."
Brilliant points! Don’t play into their game!
Thank you for the best video ever on how to stop the smear campaign.
Glad it helped
Thank you for providing this life saving service! I actually ran across the Russian Psychiatrist who claims he coined the phrase Narcissistic abuse but his videos weird me out in major ways so I now avoid those tune into yours and couple other reputable ethical sources and vebeen blessed to come across!
It's very true - people tire of the narcissist. It doesn't happen over night but it does happen. I think healthy people naturally evolve and don't like associating with childish, negative, trash talking people. Nobody wants to be associated with that once they connect the dots.
I hear you. Thank you for your video. I discarded er 8 weeks ago. I am not worried about the smear campaign. I would rather be free and by myself then being with her... Thank you for reinforcing the smear campaign. I agree no reaction what so ever.
I got entangled with a narc 'friend' in my final two years at school. She made the last year sheer hell, affecting my relationships and grades. She still plays her games 50 years later, far away from me, fortunately.
Just described my ex to a t. It's liberating knowing I cottoned on before it became even worse, he's gone for now so I'll bore him to death by ignoring him. 😴 We need more people like you with this awareness most of us don't have! These creatures cause such damage, to be so evil and content with the destruction they cause is sickening.
I experienced this message, but thanks to you, it's a kick ass.
This is a very well articulated and helpful video/lesson. Thank you Miss Paula.
Please keep up the great work. I hope you are benefiting and healing with these talks as much as many of us are. 💜
Yes Lori it’s healing to be part of this community for me too ❤️