I found writing my story down on paper helped me tremendously and reading it to self and other's over again ,reinforced it in my mind as i was forever going back into the relationship, thinking it was me and needing to do more inner work. Thankyou David
Thank you Dr. Hawkins so so much. I watch every single one of your videos. You have a great demeanor, and the way you come across in your videos and such knowledgeable information. God bless you and your loved ones from. Cynthia Ann in JANESVILLE, WI
My narcissistic abuser happily self validates. I think the true decider is whether your self validation does not involve cost or sacrifice by anyone else. Narcissists are extremely good at self validation, that's the whole problem, sadly.
This is precisely the problem. Omg it’s so frustrating because you see how they will never be able to see their toxic behavior no matter how often you repeat how it is damaging the relationship and your feelings. Their failed relationships are always reduced and dismissed to simple things like “we just don’t get along, we don’t click”. 🤦🏼♀️ NO! It’s because they are so toxic and unbearable to deal with! My ex narcissist was so argumentative it was exhausting and draining me.
What do you mean by self-validation here? I can see the point about cost... People high in narcissism are good at blame-shifting, but self-validation isn't blaming someone else to lift yourself up (which is what we typically see there). Self-validation also isn't "I'm perfect" or "I'm a good person who can do no wrong" since that's based on fallacious reasoning (people aren't black-and-white). Would self-validation actually be a realistic self-assessment and not shame-based?
And, if they're good at self-validation and self-love, why would they invalidate and devalue others? Doesn't this come from unacknowledged self-hatred (what Jung would call the shadow, which forms their projections)? Narcissism isn't a self-love disease, it's a shame disease with wounds that cannot be reflected on.
I found writing my story down on paper helped me tremendously and reading it to self and other's over again ,reinforced it in my mind as i was forever going back into the relationship, thinking it was me and needing to do more inner work.
Thankyou David
Brilliant video.
Awareness is key, so many of us think it's us, not them, but it's them and it's abuse
This is so important for trying to heal. Every single day I struggle.
Thank you Dr. Hawkins so so much.
I watch every single one of your videos.
You have a great demeanor, and the way you come across in your videos and such knowledgeable information. God bless you and your loved ones from.
Cynthia Ann in JANESVILLE, WI
Self validation has helped me to accept the truth
My narcissistic abuser happily self validates. I think the true decider is whether your self validation does not involve cost or sacrifice by anyone else. Narcissists are extremely good at self validation, that's the whole problem, sadly.
This is precisely the problem. Omg it’s so frustrating because you see how they will never be able to see their toxic behavior no matter how often you repeat how it is damaging the relationship and your feelings. Their failed relationships are always reduced and dismissed to simple things like “we just don’t get along, we don’t click”. 🤦🏼♀️ NO! It’s because they are so toxic and unbearable to deal with! My ex narcissist was so argumentative it was exhausting and draining me.
What do you mean by self-validation here? I can see the point about cost... People high in narcissism are good at blame-shifting, but self-validation isn't blaming someone else to lift yourself up (which is what we typically see there). Self-validation also isn't "I'm perfect" or "I'm a good person who can do no wrong" since that's based on fallacious reasoning (people aren't black-and-white). Would self-validation actually be a realistic self-assessment and not shame-based?
And, if they're good at self-validation and self-love, why would they invalidate and devalue others? Doesn't this come from unacknowledged self-hatred (what Jung would call the shadow, which forms their projections)? Narcissism isn't a self-love disease, it's a shame disease with wounds that cannot be reflected on.
They only see narcissism in others and despise it--because they cannot see themselves. They look into the mirror and see someone else.
Yes my whole family and immediate have gas lighted me my whole life still doing it.its abuse mother sister father