I think it's really beautiful that people scream automatically on a roller coaster. I had no idea that was a thing. That's so sweet that you get so excited that you just let out all your excitement. I love that.
I just asked a friend, because I (although neurotypical) didn't know that was a thing either, but apparently people do it because they are not only excited, but also startled, just like people sometimes make weird noises when they get startled in other situations. (I always thought that we make a noise then just so other people know that we are surprised, like when I open a door and somebody suddenly opens it from the other side at the same time, I make a small noise to let them know I didn't intentionally wait behind the door. Does that make sense?)
wait. i thought it was just part of the ride experience to do that. doing it provides me with a more amplified level of excitement because...... because it's an easy way to look like im fitting in. shit .
The second one unlocked a forgotten memory for me. I was making a bracelet with a new kit for my birthday, and I lifted it up, but the knot I had tied wasn't good enough and all my hard work spilled on the floor. Instead of groaning and picking the beads up off the floor like a normal 11 year old, I screamed and hid behind a rocking chair. When my grandma found me, I was rocking back and forth, tears running down my face, repeating no one likes me over and over again. This was my birthday, there were people over, and we were going to have cupcakes in about 5 minutes and instead of playing with the other kids AT MY OWN PARTY I hid in the corner making a bracelet til it fell apart. Idk how nobody thought that there MIGHT have been something wrong with me. Thanks 4 listening if u read this
I'm sorry that happened. I hope future generations will do better thanks to more access to information and people's first hand experiences. Like this video that allows neurotypical people understand better.
maybe autism, including hiding in a corner playing with a new toy at one's own party, isn't actually wrong. including the stress responses, and other non-"typical" behaviours. maybe it's just stigmatised and looked down on because "normal" people don't know any other options. that doesn't mean there was nor is anything "wrong" with you, regardless of whether you're autistic.
Perhaps you're experiencing a touch of Asperger's because in full blown shutdown for an autistic there's absolutely _no_ way that it isn't obvious to carers what is going on. Typically most autistic people experience dysregulation in ways that are aggressive ie violence, fecal smearing and inability to verbalize. The way this person has described their "shutdown" it's more likely they are experiencing what's called "a bad day". Nothing noticable to most people. No genuinely autistic young people I know are capable of covering their experience of being autistic, let alone a shutdown. The functioning is such that they aren't able to interact... There's no "masking" with an actual Autism diagnosis! She's most likely not autistic. In reality most people have the quirks you write about. The girl in the video is pretty typical, too. Many young people seem to think they have autism due to the social media they consume and attention seeking traits/social contagion, but at best it's ADHD and _maybe_ GAD. Those diagnoses are pretty normal for most people! Nothing scary or special about those 🥰. Actually, in reality most autistic people are unable to go more than 10 minutes in conversation/discussion without specific markers of autism being absolutely undeniable. The number of people that are "high functioning" are ALSO extremely blase with very, very flat affect. The young woman in this video is not at all monotone or without affect. In fact, she's quite poised while emoting considerable emotion! Most autistic children that are high functioning are unable to focus the way she did in her conversation or the way _you_ did in your considerably long writing. Not many Autistic folks can do that without straying off topic and/or writing/speaking with technical precision, like an engineer. Describing emotion is rare for a high functioning autistic. And of course in low functioning autism, there would be no typing with the skill you've shown. Very frequently, being able to interact in any way (but especially with the expertise you did!) is simply not possible. Perhaps you have a touch of Asperger's? It would be worth you having a work up to see but most people like you have no need for diagnosis as you're not negatively impacted by your quirkiness! 🤓
I'm so sorry. TL,DR: parties were overwhelming when I was a kid (they still can be!). I had meltdowns at my own/other b-day parties when not allowed downtime. Because it was the 80's people thought I wanted attention (attention was the LAST thing I wanted). Finally, I'm really, really sorry you had to go through that sh*t. I hope things are better now. I had similar experiences growing up. Birthday parties were A LOT to deal with as a kid... my own, and the ones for my friends. I vividly recall melting down at a couple parties for one of my closest friends: both times were during activities that split the party into two groups, made us compete against each other, involved some sort of performance like putting on skit, and were involuntary (I _said_ I wanted to sit out. I wasn't allowed 'cause "it wasn't fair" to the team). I remember anxiety over not wanting to perform (or even compete 🤷🏻♀️) and eventually becoming overwhelmed by the constantly changing directions given to me as the group "leaders" decided what each person was going to do/say... I screeched, bolted into my friend's bedroom, and hid under a blanket the first time... second time it was a pile of laundry. I cocooned up and cried: enveloping myself was comforting and I liked hiding. Not having to see others and not being seen. People came in and tried to comfort me/convince me to return. I refused to move until I was told my friend's mom was going to call my mom to take me home (yeah, both times). The threat of further embarrassment was enough to get me back in the game. I didn't like a second of it, but I was already embarrassed about "freaking out" and stopping the party. The potential additional shame from being "the girl who had to be removed from the party because she freaked out" was too much. Especially because it wasn't only about people at the party: I went to a small school and knew _every single student_ would hear about what I'd done on Monday (or worse, an exaggerated version, because that's how gossip works 🤦🏻♀️). It sucked. Still, I was lucky it happened with that friend... our families had been close since she and I were infants. The mom knew me well and was willing to put up with a lot of my odd behavior. Another parent probably would have called my parents ASAP. Honestly, I didn't want to leave the party. I liked the people there. I wanted to keep hanging out with everyone! Just NOT during that activity... Now I can see that at the time, although I'd been enjoying myself, I was _pretty_ overstimulated and needed a break. At other parties I'd be allowed to sit out from things and even wander off on my own for quiet time. Being given time by myself (sometimes a few minutes, other times a couple hours) kept me from reaching the point of meltdown. Of course, parents talked to each other so they all knew I was weird at parties: some were understanding and thought there was something going on but weren't sure what it was. Others decided they'd rather let me be alone instead of dealing with my behavior when I got "needy" (when kids overheard their parents and told me, "needy" was the word I heard the most). All I needed was to be left alone! It wasn't like I was disruptive or went to restricted areas- I told the adults where I would be and stayed there... it wasn't like I took anyone's attention from the party by needing to be constantly watched 🙄. My own parties... fortunately my parents knew to have something ready to keep guests entertained if I needed to be alone for a while, if it was just friends/classmates. Parties with adult relatives sucked because leaving was "rude." I'd make my own quiet time in the bathroom: having all my relatives think I had diarrhea was less embarrassing than a meltdown... and when I got older, IBS meant I didn't have to lie about it! 🙃 Unfortunately the one thing I could never get out of was having the room sing "Happy Birthday" at least once. I know it sounds bratty to complain about people showing up and celebrating my birthday. I felt bratty! I cried when it happened until age... well, much older than I'd like to admit. I tried so hard not to. Having everyone's eyes on me, the loud singing, all of it was just too much. I covered my ears as well, until even older... my parents told me it wasn't nice but eventually they stopped. They were embarrassed by it, but I was too... At least when I grew out of crying I could make myself smile while I covered my ears! It's one of the earliest times I understood masking made people around me happier, although I didn't know what I was doing until much, much later. I'm in my 40's now. As a kid born in 82, nobody knew my behavior/responses were symptoms of an ACTUAL issue and not attention -seeking or from being spoiled. I'm finally figuring out things I didn't understand about myself, and it's been incredible... I'm grateful I'm finally able to understand my own thoughts/emotions/behavior, although some incidents make me feel bad for my younger self... and it always breaks my heart when I hear other people have gone through the same or similar experiences. If you made it this far: I apologized for blabbing so much about ME... your story brought up some memories and I basically typed them out in a "stream of consciousness" manner 😬. I'm sorry. Sharing my experiences is a way I relate to people, but I know I can take it way too freaking far... I'm sorry you had to go through really hard experiences. I'm sorry no one noticed/realized you needed something you weren't getting. I hope things are better now, and I hope the people around you today understand and treat you the way you want and need to be treated. 💜💜💜
I'm undiagnosed. Everytime i start to think maybe I'm not autistic, i watch a video that describes me perfectly. Like, I just learned that screaming on a roller coaster is supposed to be involuntary. I'm 51. I had no idea.
Same I just thought it was that people want to fit in with each other, like a band wagon lol. I personally shrink into my shoulders like a turtle and tense my whole body’s lol
omfg as a kid I discovered that if I tense up and like… exhale slowly on roller coasters (which probably looked VERY weird), everything felt so much more manageable, which then made me think, “man, these other people are going soo crazy cuz they don’t know the trick” even though the actual trick is to just scream and let it out because I guess that’s what roller coasters are for…? Idfk 😵💫
I'm sorry but I just think that the roller coaster thing isn't true??? I've asked a million neurotypical people this and tried doing a lot of googling and they all say they scream just because it's fun/what you're "supposed to do" - It seems like it is very much voluntary for people who aren't actually super scared of the ride.
"Masking is acting." Yes. I realize i struggled with communication until my mom paid for me to take acting courses when I was ten. Then it wasn’t as difficult. And when I still worked an extremely social customer service job, people would always compliment me on how friendly and kind I was and I realized I was just on stage performing the role of the customer service representative.
Yes, we are extreme people pleasers even when we shouldn't be. Then we have strong feelings of loyalty in bonds and when it feels like people betray you then you get fuming angry under the surface and replay the incident in your head all night... maybe carry it around for a few decades. It sucks.
For people who are self diagnosed or don't have good ways to get diagnosed around them, It's like they can never be sure. Cause since childhood I've been told I'm just lazy and bad at things. And that I just need to keep trying. I understand to an extent nothing comes easy and practice is important. But sometimes I just feel too different. It's nice to feel included in this community cause the tips and tricks really help.
You know thats fair!! But diagnosis can help you understand why that laziness happens! And lots of other things can happen to neurodivergent people generally to traumatize you. Capitalism is hard, you're not lazy just human ❤️
If you ever get the chance its always good to just talk to a professional about it and really understand yourself and how you function, even if its not autism!
@@sakuranovaryan9261 I settled for being 90% sure, because if the 10% is the case and I'm not autistic, then I don't even wanna know what the fuck is wrong.
Same. No diagnosis and not really an option right now but my sister's and my closest friends think I am on the spectrum. This kind of video is helpful for me in part because I do have an ADHD diagnosis but the autism stuff is newer to me and helpful. How often in one's life do we gain perspective or context in our perception of ourselves? Maybe just a few times in your life.
Wow, the girl at the 29 min mark talking about how she doesn’t get paralyzed because she’s always been allowed to ask for help blew my mind. Even if I’d felt safe to ask for help with functioning I would have been disappointed because even as a kid I was more functional than either of my parents. No wonder I got overwhelmed and developed meltdown triggers I couldn’t get past. Who could I ask for help? But I can ask now. I need to get ok with asking for it.
To touch on this a bit more its out of necessity that a lot of autistic individuals that are damaged or come from an unsafe environment mask because they don't feel safe even at a young age. Speaking from personal experience I have masked nearly all my life, and as far as I can remember I've masked all the time especially with family. I can't take off the mask with them, I've tried, but so much has happened that I can only have that mask off if it cracks and sometimes it does. Though it goes right back on. Asking questions, getting help, learning to grow or make mistakes on my own because I wasn't allowed to make mistakes. Especially if you're a person of color, and gay in the Midwest. People were more concerned with me not being violent and thats literally just it, since I wasn't violent I got no diagnosis or help. It was the 90s. Wasn't able to be diagnosed until I was 32...that's a long. Tiring. 30 years...
Not only does the girl at 22:12 fucking tear the original post to shreds, but she does so SO DAMN WELL and everything is so worded. Not only that, but her description of Autism not being trendy irl is such a poignant statement. We should all aspire to be like her bro.
Wait is Autism "trending" because that's just weird. I may have autism and I have yet to be able to be evaluated because the waiting list is so ridiculously long that they won't even make me an appointment yet. They said it could be 6 months to a YEAR before I can see anyone. I don't know why anyone would WANT to have a learning disability. I know that whether Tha is what is going on with me or if it is something else, I would rather have a normal functioning brain. Being neurodivergent may SOUND cool, but it's actually very frustrating in a world that caters to neurotypical people.
@@SimplySiren13Autism isn't a learning disability, it deals with processing outside stimuli. A learning disorder deals with your brain having an interference in you learning either math or reading etc etc. You can be autistic and have a learning disorder.
What’s really interesting is I’m audhd and I mask most of the time. My friend, who just has ADHD and isn’t autistic, never masks and has never cared to mask. It really shows how different neurodivergent people are compared to each other. It’s just so cool and interesting.
It’s so odd when someone is like “I can’t choose to mask”, like talking about it as if it’s something we do on purpose or with intention-rather than traumatic conditioning to visible traits being dangerous and safety requiring them to be masked-does not compute. Like if you want to mask just get abused for a while I guess, since that’s where it comes from, your nervous system forcing you to avoid danger and said danger coming from being noticed, so everything that can be noticed or has been noticed gets shoved down and hidden from yourself. Like it literally takes trauma recovery to unmask, it comes from having identity trauma but non-masking autistics try to act like we’re just neurotypicals “putting on an act to fit in” and it’s enraging, like my entire body and mind would change for decades because of an offhand comment someone made that I internalize as *oh I can NEVER do that again in public or private got it* and I wasn’t even aware of it, constant suppression of needs and your own internal signals based on being convenient to the people in your environment being what kept you safe, that’s what masking is.
27:30 THIS. This is everything. The shame of failure has kept me from doing so many things, and the overlaying layer of preemptive shame for a future failure keeps me stunted. A lot of us had no safe adults to ask for help, and sometimes when we did we wouldn't get the help we actually needed or would get berated. As an adult I'm trying to figure it out, but calming myself when I'm flustered and trying to come up with new tools to work with can be like trying to fish for the kraken with a peice of rope during a hurricane.
I have Audhd and its so hard to just.. function. I can't make decisions, and when I do make decisions I will often spend hours obsessing over if it was the right choice or not. I can't spend too much time on one thing, but I also need everything I do to be perfect. so I end up only doing 1 draft of any project. I have published 3 books, all of which were one and dones. And now I can't write books even when I want to because my autism has decided "That's boring now, lets do something else" I struggle in everything, from getting up in the morning to eating to just communicating. I am a very high needs individual and one of the worst struggles is that I feel like a burden.. growing up I had so many dreams of what I wanted to do, I was told I could do anything and I would be really good at my job (cause I did really well in certain classes). And now im an adult and can't do shit... I basically have to give up on my dreams and try to find joy in just.. existing, unable to create, unable to do anything but sit around and watch content other people were able to make. can't even make many friends cause im also physically disabled so like.. man life sucks for me
Man, that sucks. I'm sorry you gotta deal with that. I don't really want to be that person, but as someone with ADHD (and maybe autism????), have you tried looking at stuff not as tasks to be completed? Like, finding something you want to/can do and just making it a routine rather than a thing you are doing in the moment? Like going to one specific social thing every Friday without bothering to ask yourself if you want to do it and going even if you don't until it's routine, writing something small like a poem or a short story every day, or even just going to a nearby park to sit and look at the sky. I know this is the life you live and you clearly don't want to live this way, so you've probably tried a lot, but this is how I manage to do a lot of things that used to just be impossible for me. I'd also like to suggest on jobs - you've probably tried a few different ones and they didn't work out, but maybe you could try career counselling? It's hard to put my finger on it but it sounds like there really are jobs that you would work well in and enjoy (talking structure; not specific work) and you might just need information from someone who knows about how incredibly varied experiences in the professional world can be.
@@fruitymcfruitcake9674 thank you for your kindness and tips Unfortunately I've tried such things, it's more difficult than that. I am very high needs, doing things I don't want to do only lead to autistic breakdowns or panic attacks. From going into town or even talking to an old friend Its constant and annoying. I have so many things I wish to do, but if I keep pushing against my own mind I'll get into some trouble I had a job for a few weeks and was almost sent to a mental hospital I had migraines after work everyday and would have panic attacks in the middle of the day But thank you got taking time out of your day to be kind
@@DecoyZ I see. I'm sorry you've already tried this stuff and didn't find it helpful. I hope one day you can find stuff that works for you and enjoy the benefits of a normal life :) I know hearing people trying to help with advice you've already tried can be really annoying, so thank you for taking it nicely anyway. Have a good day!
😢 it's like I could have written this. I see you friend. You're not alone. I want you to succeed and get those dreams back. Love, hope, and light to you poppet... You'll be ok. I have faith that you can figure out your neural pathways to all your hopes and dreams. Please don't give up. You may just be experiencing burnout related skill regression and neural pruning, which means if you can find another access point to the knowledge you have, you can reteach yourself. If today isn't that day though, that's ok... Take care of yourself then, drink some water, take a shower or bath, pamper yourself in whatever way works best for you. I'm sorry you're struggling, but I hope you can get some rest and relaxation to try and progress further the next day.
oh my god i was on the yukon striker (at canada's wonderland) twice a bit ago and i screamed the first time and only the first time only because i felt obligated to, like i was supposed to. i was so confused as to why i didn't scream.
My dad told me the reason you scream is because it helps ease the butterflies feeling, but since my body doesn't do it naturally I tend to forget to do it.
yeah, I never felt inclined to, I usually found it annoying. me my dad and my brother end up smiling/laughing, and my sister screams because 'she finds it fun', not bc she's scared
Yeah lmao I was made aware of this from my friend when she found that making a deadpan face like I did on a roller-coaster without screaming was something people found difficult. I usually find screaming to make the ride more fun than just having a straight face (idk probably something adrenaline) so that's why I'll scream.
Anyone else watching this identify so hard that you feel nauseous? I’ve had to pause it many times. Thank you so much for compiling this. Incredible. Grateful
This video found me because I've just realised my 17 yo ADHD daughter said she thinks she has autism like her younger brother. She's been rude and unkind to me since starting high school. Anyhoo I suspect she has PDA auDHD. So I'm watching this to understand her, I get to 24:53 and realise that's me. Non traumatised non masker. The world stops. I empathize with my daughter who doesn't know to ask questions and is crippled by anxiety, fitting in and failed friendships. The relationship between me and my daughter changes INSTANTLY because I now speak her language. We click. This literally happened from that moment to taking her grocery shopping to coming home and watching the rest to reading these comments. Thank you OP!
In case anyone else was wondering why people move their arms when they walk and that it seems people do it for no reason, we do it to counter balance the movement of our legs. Arm movement is in fact necessary for proper walking mechanics
I never moved my arms while walking. My sister pointed out when I was around 16 that I walk funny because I don’t move them. I then started practicing, but thought “should I move right arm with right leg?… No That’d look strange. Ok. Do the legs move a little faster or at the same pace as the arms?” Still haven’t answered the second question but I’ve been moving my arms since so I hope I’ve got it right 😅 I’m not observant enough to remember to compare.
@marmedello arms moving when walking is a byproduct of your hips rotating when walking, so your shoulders counter rotate to offset the torque, then your arms (if you're just letting them hang there with no muscle input) just sway a bit. If you're moving your arms in isolation then it comes across pretty robotic.
I'm just realizing how I wore high waisted jeggings throughout middle school and early high because it was offering pressure. I did know that it was "like a constant hug", but it's cool to realize why it's comforting
Probably the same reason I love compression socks, other than the obvious benefit of improved circulation. I feel like they're hugging my legs just right
I give myself a hug with my plush blanket that has the right amount of stretch and the right amount of cozy. But I don’t like human hugs… or human skin… 😑
= The person talking about screaming on roller coasters (4:47) - that was definitely an OH WAITTTTT moment for me - as someone who loves rollercoasters, swings, and every other kind of stomach-plunging carnival ride for the sensory enjoyment, I usually close my eyes and picture myself zooming through outer space, entirely silent (unless I'm riding one with my sister + we decide ahead of time to yell something dumb to our other sister waiting on the ground when we pass her, like "Greetings Peasant" - and the fact that people scream THE WHOLE THREE MINUTE LONG RIDE, I N V O L U N T A R I L Y (and not just out of dedication the way people clap at ahows/concerts) .... b l e w m y (obliviously autistic) mind :0
I don’t scream either except for roller coasters that were too intense not to. But one made me giggle in between screens. My kids are amusing on the swings. They act like their I always did and don’t smile or laugh unless they’re playing with each other at the same time. Their stoic faces crack me up. I can hardly change it no matter how many ways I try and play with them. My two year old used to always get annoyed when I’d try and play with him on the swing
rightttt i never realised or knew it was involuntary. i’ve never screamed on rides, i’ve always been silent and straight-faced for the majority of the time
I don't think it's only this way for NT and only the other way for ND. It blew my mind too but my NT boyfriend said if he wants to scream then he does, if not then not. But yes of course there are some people doing it involuntary.
50:00 I've been the autistic mom sitting on the floor of my closet but ive never heard someone talk about those feelings that absolutely turned my survival mechanism upside down when i became a parent. There is something so freeing about hearing that someone else has felt the exact same way for the exact same reasons and that it doesnt mean either of us is broken
One of the most stupid situations I got myself by accidentally telling my online class I was autistic, one kid said he could relate to something because of his adhd and I said I can relate to the same thing too tho I don't have adhd but I'm autistic everyone just got so weird and offended it was soo fucking weird, everyone started questioning where I am on the dsm 5 and shit even the teacher said that I shouldn't open up things like that, like jesus christ I just said I could RELATE to something because of something I have and the other guy can get away with his relation with his adhd, smfh
Im sorry that happened! people are very ableist and cant see autism in people who don't look a specific way. But hopefully this is changing as we all become more educated!
@@noiseforautism yeah luckily I did have one class that approached autism very well in my anthropology class I had an amazing teacher, he even said that he had autistic students he taught that notified him about how horrible autism speaks is and taught that to class and showed that ted talk video, I miss that class so much it was my favorites 😁
I definitely find the other people in that situation to be the 'weird' ones. That's certainly a strange reaction to someone just stating they're autistic.
I thought this was probably a troll and maybe a hate situation, but no!! I feel so comforted knowing that i wasnt struggling alone when it came to last diagnosis... Thanks for the compliation!
@@supme7558 There are far too many varying degrees of involvement and in depth experiences shared for this entire hour+ compilation video to solely provide confirmation bias. And saying what you did makes it seem like you think the same way as the chick the girl with the DSM called out. It's like you're dismissing an important moment for someone as not being as eye opening as they feel it is and that really sucks. Especially in a world specifically designed to be confusing to people who don't conform to societal norms a ways of thinking/processing. I'm not saying that's specifically what you meant by your comment, but that's the way it came off. If that's not what you meant, I would expect more of an explanation as to why you said what you did. It's hard enough for ND to relate with anyone most of the time so it feels really good when we actually can. And even more than just relating, we can understand ourselves better, as well.
What sucked was in the 90s, absolutely NO teachers or even the school, noticed a damn thing about me not being ok in any classes, and eventually when it got Way too stressful and the bullying got physical in front of teachers- and they let it happen, I stopped going ...completely- and they didn't notice ..I probably had the most unexcused absences in the entire school and nobody did anything..I'm glad times have changed
@@ozok17 thank you, I really appreciate your comment. And I'm very glad as well. some really bad things happened around that time with violence & unfortunately some ppl didnt make it past 20..to this day and always, I will go to the cemetery & put flowers up for those ppl I knew whose lives were taken for a little $ & some random stuff. 😔
@tarahj478 I'm not really sure if anything changed tbh, I was verbally harassed and attacked by my ex in the hall at high school. He was a bit more well liked and popular and I was the just the odd quite kid everyone thought was smart. And no one not a single teacher that I looked at while it was happening came over to stop him from grabbing me and shouting at me for not going to his football game when I was sick with the flu. For granted I've never been diagnosed with autism, I'm in my 20s and I've just started thinking about how odd my child hood was, at one point I had someone that I thought was a friend in middle school say something like I was a dog...no matter how many times you beat and put it down, make fun of it you chase after people and want to play. And that was the same very day I decided to ghost all of them and never open myself or try to make friends again, everytime I try I fail.
The third girl was me growing up. I wasn’t really bullied but I was mostly ostracised at worst and tolerated at best. I had a good group of friends but I found it fluctuated often. I was a super high masker and even found it fun at one point. I’ve stopped now but I also notice as an adult, people just don’t have time to care (it could be because my generation is overworked and under rewarded)
Also not to be a hater but we use our arms when we walk as counterbalance. We as humans weren’t exactly made to be bipedal but we decided (biology decided lmao) anyways that we would walk on two legs. So the arm swinging is from our genetic ancestors and also as counterbalance for when we walk.
Jesus!!! The amount of people expecting everyone else to cater to you is insane. I just couldn't bear the boredom in that class"? Just tell us you are self absorbed and a child.
Who is the creator? There's no credit on the video. I feel the same way. I have job struggles and nobody can tell me why or what I'm doing wrong and it's really sad and exhausting. 😢
30:40 The man explained exactly the reason why I quit my well paid job recently. The only difference: I knew my needs better and was absolutely perfectionist about „recharging“ to a degree that I had to isolate myself from family and friends much more than I wanted to (I had meltdowns, but I paid a high personal price to limit them to an acceptable level). Spending most of the free time just to recharge in order to prevent meltdowns caused me to quit. During the 2 months notice I had to continue working I feared a meltdown at work because the stress continued to grow. I felt my self control weakening as well. And of course I had trouble to say no. Glad it didn‘t happen.
I love the woman talking about "cute weird" vs being herself which might be "actually weird". It taps into such a part of our culture which has made this "quirky girl" archetype in movies and stuff and it gets adopted by people incorrectly, i think. Then it really doesn't leave room for people with neurodivergence to be free because then they're also being compared to this supposed "cute weird" type, along with "normal people", but that type is also still within the realms of the socially acceptable ideas of how one behaves. Not just women, either. I saw it with a guy friend of mine who is so attractive, talented, successful, a musician... but he liked star wars so he was like "ahh im such a dork, im so weird"... im like, no dude. 😂 Also see it with people and OCD, which I have. There is this "im sooo OCD" almost like it's this "im cute because I like to be organzied" thing.
I find listening to this stuff very hard as I tend to get annoyed and assume these people are lying to themselves. But I know they are sharing so much of my experience and I'm actually being unkind to myself. I don't believe I'm allowed to struggle and I should just stop being weird. Seeing so many people affirm me makes it hard to argue
Would you be mean, judgmental, intolerant and impatient with your best friend? I sure hope not! Now you have to become that best friend Thank you for expressing yourself
Man I really relate to what you wrote 😩 As a child whenever I was struggling and asked for help, I was told I was lazy or not trying hard enough and made to believe I wasn't actually having a hard time. As an adult I realize it was gaslighting. I've read somewhere that the words and tone we hear as children become our inner voice as adults. I wonder if my first reaction of not believing my fellow autistic peers stems from the negative internal voice I inherited from my parents. Just curious and don't feel obligated to respond, but do you feel like you were brushed off a lot as a child, not taken seriously or had your feelings invalidated by the adults in your life? I wonder if this reaction we have stems from the same root for everyone.
I tend to be quite protective of family/friends, so have started trying to hijack the protectiveness & apply it to myself. Helps that I dissociate a lot & already tend to talk about myself analytically as another being. I'm now starting to be able to be protective of myself, often in fun indulgent ways & be like 'whoa nobody talks to me like that, back up buddy' - to myself & my 'your-problems-aren't-real/valid' inner voice
Girl around 2 minutes is way too relatable. lol. Especially the hard class being PE, and not masking there haha. I buddied around with people in my PE class who I really liked and who were really nice to me but who I wouldn't have probably hung out with otherwise because I thought we were so different. Maybe that was because I was more vulnerable in there, just trying to not fail the class and ruin my GPA haha.
This makes a lot of sense now. I think Everything Everywhere All At Once being coded as ADHD is a bit annoying too. They're right, just make canonical neurodivergant characters that represent multiple symptoms/traits.
6:17 that entire video made me sob because I’m 14 and literally only have 3 friends, and I have ADHD and throughout my entire childhood I never understood why it was so hard for me to make and keep friends. It still is for me, I’ve only had those three friends throughout my whole life, and it’s still hard for me to keep and make new ones.
this video felt a little bit like therapy to me, as someone who plans to seek diagnosis for some semblance of neurodivergency when I am able to. bless and love to everyone who made these tiktoks
Humans move their arms because while it isn't "necssary" it is actuallly more efficient. You spend energy to not move your arms while walking or running.
29:34 I personally work in a warehouse with a few really great other co-workers (a few who are also nd). The structure of my day is really great for me, and the work itself is delivered in a very simple step by step way. I like work and physically doing things, so everything works out pretty well for me.
I wasn't diagnosed till I was 19. The first 19 years was brutal. Then the next ten years was spent trying to convince people I didn't make up my diagnosis because I can mask at expert level. The last 8 years have been spent trying to heal from the damage of being undiagnosed for so long. I live every day with cptsd. I'm 35 now and I still struggle with self worth and self esteem. Being raised by narcissists while being undiagnosed autistic is something I'll be unpacking for a while
As someone who has been diagnosed with ADHD in kindergarten and undiagnosed Autism since elementary. It is true how friendships aren't kept...i only have two good friends i can unmask around without society insulting it as "Childish" or "Unessesary" ❤
At 11:14, omg this girl is so right. That’s why Paige Layle is rather popular besides being “weird” and autistic. I really like Paige but let’s be honest, if she wasn’t as conventionally attractive, she would be significantly less known. Being attractive kind of balances out the weirdness of autism
Yes. This is a big reason why i get "but you dont look autistic" 💀 and yes, i get described as "cute" constantly... but i am 43 freakin years old and have grey hair 🤦♀️
Everything that came before felt sonewhat or more relatable, especially becoming wothdrawn when overstimulated, and the part about getting upset when asked why i feel the way i do, because i cant explain it in a better way than how i had just put it into words. (0:48). Sometimes, i would find myself asking "what do you want me to say/want from me?" Because i couldnt understand what needed clarification. But this? (6:16) This broke me. Every. Single. Point.
WOW! I never realized that I didn’t have peer friendships during early school and well into university years. In my younger years, I had my 5 siblings to look after and play with, so I wasn’t aware that having sleepovers and invitations to parties were things to desire. As I was undiagnosed until I was 80, it makes sense that this not having childhood friends was a thing that indicates I was neurodiverse.
This is what I struggled to exrpess! Demands with PDA feel like my autonomy is being threatened. Somebody insists on me doing something and I instantly feel like they're robbing me of the right to decide what I do and I get very defensive
My jaw dropped on the rollercoaster screaming thing. Holy crap! I thought it was just a fun silly thing???? That perfectly described me. I have no words lol Anyway I love this compilation! It's super cozy and fun!
I've never moved my arms when I walked, and my mother told me I'm the only one in the world that doesn't do that. I first found out when I was six and my acting agent started teaching us how to walk on a run way and I kept forgetting to move my arms. I always knew I was neurodivergent, but I never knew anything about my adhd, ocd, and possibble autism. So, I'm having the same experience when finding out what that means as people who never knew they were neurodivergent in the first place.
I remember my mother saying it was weird that I moved my arms back and forth in sync! I did change that a while back. Or I hold my hand behind my back and just look.. fancy? I've also been told that I walk and move like a Sims character - which isn't helped by my strength and flexibility which can make my movements borderline artificial.
51:07 This brought back a memory, I literally did this exact same thing. And then I even told my friends that "Yeah I have an imaginary friend" knowing fully that I didn't believe that bitch was real one bit, I made her up cuz I heard people had imaginary friends
Dangit. I wish I could have been this understood 35 YEARS AGO. omg so many of these. The woman around 45:30 talking about being willing to LET people be right, and forcing ourselves to give someone that even though we know it’s wrong… because when we’re young we assume they have a reason and know what they’re about, but then we regret it, and we grow up and don’t want to keep doing that. Holy moly. 50 YEARS of **THIS**. Also the young woman around minute 10:00. Absolutely spot on.
These TikToks GET me!!! I never understood why I never understood other humans. Like, at all. Finding out I’m neurodivergent answered ALL THE QUESTIONS.
I never thought about the rise of non-traumatized Autistics. It makes me happy all the work I put in over the last ten years is bringing a happier future for those younger than me. So much emotional labor and i all so happy now. Like planting seeds and i waited all winter and now in spring they sprout. I am eager to see what beautiful things the younger Autistics grow in their gardens.
the title made me watch. my brother has autism and adhd and im also studying to be a teacher so here i am trying to educate myself :) i feel like these experiences overlap with my anxiety in some ways, especially the sensory things. thank you sm for making this compilation. some of my favorite people are autistic, and this really helped me understand some things better.
48:58 I once said I was feeling a bit peckish. It was a joke. I mean, I was hungry, but I used that word to amuse myself. My in-laws looked at me like I had two heads.
Omg the guy at 30:00 and the guy after him i resonate with soooo much. Extreme burnout, unable to keep a job. My whole family blaming me and putting me out on the street bc of it. And the other guy talking about over emotional reactions. Everything, movies, songs, especially news will immediately put a welt in my throat. It would take all my will power to hold it in. (Sometimes not very well) I learned from a very early age to supress and mask my emotions. My dad used to smother me if i cried. (Basically hand over my mouth and plug my nose). But id still have meltdowns at home on the regular. I was terrified to go to sleep at night. I would have to mumify myself and try to stop breathing so the demons or aliens wouldn't hurt me. The ironic thing is that my mom was a teacher for autistic kids but never got me diagnosed and never believed or understood my struggle. She didnt want to have special needs kids even though her job was to advocate for them. This lady also used to beat me and bully me growing up so that just shows you the kind of human she is. Why do so many special needs teachers abuse their children? Its a trend ive noticed
Jeez... I'm so sorry. Your parents were... just awful. I hope you have people around you now who love and respect you AND treat you the way you deserve to be treated: with compassion and acceptance. 💜
I appreciate the work that went into curating this group of videos. I find myself wanting more from certain of the contributors. It would be helpful if you added their names as captions so we can look them up.
Hi! Thanks so much for your comment. I've just made a list of all of the creators which you can view on tiktok! This is a link to the playlist. You can also find it in the description now! Hope this helps! www.tiktok.com/t/ZT8ehXskb/
Oh my. The arms moving when walking bit. I forgot I went through that same process around the same time. I adapted it to like a comedic walk I would do to make people laugh. Humor's a great "natural mask" because you just gotta focus more on correlations of uncommon expectations, and that's somehow easier than knowing what to expect. I find thinking in opposites, or observing opposites to establish contrasts to, is overall useful. I've only recently been diagnosed, still figuring things out.
Wait- did I understand that right: people riding a rollercoaster scream because they cannot help themselves? They would not be able to just be quiet? I always scream because I want to and it's fun., like belting out a favorite song and feeling all excited... I thought that is what everyone did...?
53:31 gotta show this to my therapist, i got in a really bad fight with my parents over this shit!!! I said literally everything i needed to say and my parents actively and boldly manipulated my words and gaslit me into thinking and saying the opposite, but i wasn't having that shit. I directly quoted his words back and he said "thats not what i said" MOTHERFUCKER YOU SAID THE WORDS AND I REPEATED THEM AND NOW THEY’RE MAGICALLY DIFFERENT!!! hate my family fr fr
That‘s terrible to hear, especially from your parents. I mean why do we autistic people have to learn about ambiguity of language to even be able to defend ourselves while they just assume things without even being aware that there‘s 2 or more possible meanings? The person that trained me in my job did something similar. He often asked me questions if I didn‘t forget one of the 20+ computers I had to inventory to great detail (like 15-20 properties of each pc like the position, OS, RAM, CPU, …) and I answered truthfully: “I think yes. Not 100% sure though.” (I’m often overwhelmed and forgetful and the pressure increased this forgetfulness by a lot). If he then found out I had forgotten that pc, he accused me of lying, which I didn‘t. I admitted that I wasn‘t sure and only added that I think the probability is low of me having forgotten that particular pc. I do also argue with my parents about the meaning of my or their words, though they are like at least 80% less judgemental about that.
@avengedprophet1559 and it's always the least charitable explanation for it too. Oh, you misspoke or forgot some details? It couldn't possibly be that you genuinely forgot or misspoke . "You lied, you purposefully decided to mislead us for your own purposes" . Some neurotypicals do have the patience for us to just exist but I swear, I just got unlucky with the ones I have to live with and spend most of my time with.
@@squidnipendleton3765 Yeah, some people can‘t grasp the concept that some people are different. Like don‘t infer from yourself to others. Not everyone is like you. Would be boring if it would be.
I'm 45 years ols, and i just got diagnosed as "high functioning" autistic with ADHD. My first reaction was relief. Diagnosis made so much sense. All those episodes of depression and anxiety, all those burnouts i've had because i tried to act normal - and yet i felt like an alien who tries to pose as a human... So, now i'm trying to learn how to live with "my weird brain" without masking / woth minimal masking, and making my life easier and better for my self.
I'm going to comment multiple times probably because this video is so long, but at 8:11, my mom will get upset at me when I repeat what someone sung like in a song she is playing because she thinks I'm making fun of them, but I'm just repeating the fun sound they just made 🫠 I'm not trying to be disrespectful, I think it actually just means I like how they sounded. And I do is so automatically at times, so I don't even realize I just did something "disrespectful" until I've already done it.
Yeah i do this same thing. Its so hard but I just try and explain that I just thought the sound was cool, im not making fun I just do that, most of the time like automatically and not because I want to
"It wasn't missed it was ignored" applied to my anxiety, depression and OCD. I would have done so much better as an adult if I had some early therapy. I literally told my parents I had OCD and they were like "oh wow" then did nothing.
Fun little story about my autism diagnosis (or lack thereof)! My gender specialist is also trained in autism assessments and after a year of calls and appointments was like “yeah… I’m referring you to get an assessment because there’s no way you only have adhd.” To which I was like “YOU DONT FUCKING SAY?” ‘‘Twas a happy lad. Then I got assessed aaaaaaand it was weird and juvenile and I felt weirded out the whole time so I did not act how I usually do on top of masking. I got the results later and the assessment doctor said *and I fucking quote “Rowen can’t be autistic because many of his symptoms are co-morbid with adhd and he communicates well”* bitch what? They asked me to read a book for 5 year olds about floating frogs and asked me if my friends did drugs, NOT TO MENTION CUTTING ME OFF WHEN I WAS STARTING TO TALK EVEN SLIGHTLY ABOUT MY INTERESTS OR DESCRIBING MY THOUGHT PROCESS FOR THINGS. YOU KNOW. LIKE THEY SHOULD. Anyway I cried 😊 So I told my gender specialist and he gave me the whole low down on how mental health diagnosis is more subjective because you can’t simply take a blood test or something and long story short “while I respect his professional opinion, I 100% respectfully disagree” and who am I going to believe? The guy who saw me once for an hour or the doctor with the same credentials who I’ve talked too for over a year at that point?
@@RosenrotRtLiebchen87 totally understand why you’d ask. I’m afab trans male and had transitioned before my assessment but I know that years of living as a girl definitely doesn’t help getting a diagnosis.
@@novaanimations5958 yeah, being socialized as female is i believe a barrier, at least in some diagnostic circles. too many docs don't seem to update their knowledge with advancing criteria understanding. i was an outlier personally, I'm afab but was still somehow diagnosed both autistic and with adhd at a young age, single digit age basically. my mom and dad aren't reliable sources of information though for this stuff so asking for an exact age of dx is not the best option for me sadly
@@RosenrotRtLiebchen87 hell yeah remix that gender. Also good on you for being diagnosed young! That tism was strong In all seriousness though, getting socialized female definitely made me behave differently than otherwise and that has absolutely made getting my diagnosis more difficult.
It just reminds me of the times I have done something “weird” and immediately been questioned or othered because of it. Also, 35:46 yeah I know every single line of every single character in the entire show of SAO abridged. I also know 16 digits of pi because why not: 3.141592653589793 One last thing: I think I truly unmasked for the first ever when my sister’s gf came over the other day. She is autistic in kind of the same way I am, like same symptoms. The reason I think it’s the first time is that’s it’s the first time I’ve done something really “random” and not felt weird because of it. I mean she laughed at most of it and that was exactly what I wanted. It was amazing.
I grew up not knowing I had autism, family didn’t want to take me for testing, so I had to figure a lot of this out on my own. (Not looking for sympathy just setting up backstory.) because of that I went through a lot of things like the stuff mentioned in the video, I wore a jacket through high school everyday including weekends and summer (we live in Florida). almost failed PE for not fully changing. (It didn’t stop me from participating so she had to pass me) any way I had to learn how to adjust myself or hide things in subtle ways because everyone wanted me to “act normal” Moving on from that i got diagnosed in my mid-20s Right before I started teaching ESE. (ESE is the term now used for children with mental, emotional, or physical stumbling blocks that can prevent them from achieving their goals in a standard classroom environment.) I honestly hated growing up feeling so different but it gave me a weird advantage. I understand the frustration,the anger, the jackets, the biting, hitting, screaming, yelling, running, lack of focus, need for stimulation, hyper focus. And while I’m not perfect at it and each of my kids have different needs when it comes to helping them with these stumbling blocks I have never been more appreciative to having safe ways for them to bring themselves back to their center without hurting themselves or others physically, mentally, or emotionally, especially when I teach 1st and 2nd so many of my kids are not able to start medication yet or therapy do to wait times. It is definitely not fail proof but seeing my kids be able to make it over their stumbling blocks without my help is worth it because I know I would not have the ability to help them as much as I can if I wasn’t able to relate to them. Also apparently parents like it when you can help them narrow down reasons for certain behaviors.
Yep. Everytime I see/hear someone try to dismiss and gaslight autistic people, theyre always someone who doesn't even know what the DSM is and they also appear to spend way too much time on social media to even know what autistic people are like irl. I appreciate the person who spoke about traumatized autism vs untraumatized autism. Thank you.
When the school counselor told my parents i was just being dramatic but these tiktoks make me feel more understood than ever. I didn't know what masking was i mean ive heard the word but hearing someone explain no wonder im always exhausted after school. Also other peoples brains dont go "you have to scream, you have to make a face, everyone else is doing it." when their on a roller coaster. If i dont make myself do something i would just be sitting there legit just sitting there, i mean roller coasters are ok or whatever but im just reacting because thats what you do on a roller coaster.
Yeah it's really hard especially if you're a woman! People just don't know what autism looks like in women so we're all figuring it out together. If you want it, keep fighting for that diagnosis! Someday you will find a doctor that will listen to you.
If i have autism, i relate to 37:00 a lot Autistic traits i seem to display: - pda,,,, expects others attention for body doubling, gets attached to people, people are the hyperfixation - insist on wearing jackets all the time (specifically during social areas) - really good memory - i have situational mutism (although i manage to overcome it at times) - i talk in memes, movie, video, and book quotes. - i embody the traits i like from other people. - tends to do down-up thinking - attracts and attracted to austistic-coded people and characters - used to talk about people like theyre animals (e.g. "humans tend to be social animal") - i thought i was maybe an empathetic narcissistic - im queer and genderqueer - although i was mostly obedient, if there was a disrespectful authoritative person it brought out a sense of defiance. - i tend to correct people a lot to the point people thought i was a grammar nazi, goody two shoes, and teachers pet. (Teachers didnt always like me either cus i corrected them too) - i cant stand seeing people get bullied - i highly respect people who redeem themselves - 42:54 relate - 43:50 i love eye contact too. But people find my eye contact to be uncomfortable, so as much as i hate im trying to take it down a notch - 44:22 yesss this. I feel like I'm performing. People end up liking me in group settings since my anxiety makes it seem like im more charismatic than i actually am. - 48:17 i used to speak really formally. Now i speak overly casual but somehow still distant. - 50:11 woah i remember i used to think like this too. Nowadays i cant even imagine s*icide - 51:09 meeee 😭 - 51:15 og me again - 53:33 yes i speak accurately and intentionally - 54:38 unmasking process - 1:05:15 I find assurance in knowing all the details before doing anything
0:11 to about 1:17 AHHHHH this TikTok is so useful for how I’ve been feeling misunderstood lately!! 😩 oh my goodnesss!! THANK YOU for wording this so well!!!!
I remember my school peers often telling me I was "trying too hard" and I never understood what the hell they meant because to me, I was just behaving like everyone else, so, normal. NOW it all makes sense... much too late.
2:00 Fuck, this hits hard. I've always jumped around groups (because the 2 friends that I had either got bored of me, or I was under stimulated/ignored). And thus I'd go from group to group, until break was over and it was time for class. I even had a teacher, that correctly identified this, and called me a "follower". (Some kids were being disruptive in class and he booted them out. I didn't realise that he included me in that group.) That remark didn't sink in at the time, but I've been thinking about it for a long time now. (This happened ~25 years ago.) And it hits hard. Guess I never really belonged anywhere.
BRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOO!!! I needed AALLL these people today. Every single one of these clips are just full of beautiful, REAL Aspies just trying to make sense if the world. This is Aspie Soul Food, fr. 😭
Haha aspie soul food omg! I've just made a list of all of the creators which you can view on tiktok! This is a link to the playlist. You can also find it in the description now! Hope this helps you get a little more of them in your life! www.tiktok.com/t/ZT8ehXskb/
the girl around the 2 minute mark was so real. I did the same but like the character I thought was cool and emulated was Abed Nadir so all my friends figured out that I had autism before I did 😭
10:50 (speaking as male, Au diagnosed and suspected adhd) very relatable with being the friend who is seen as weird. Part looking too normal when masking. Part the social differences like oversharing. Teenage years are the worst! I've you reach late 20s onward it may get easier to make friendships. I would add it depends on social opportunity and that a lot of social skill and capability in NTs is actually learned through experience, if you are in a place with few opportunities, or with less variety of possible social experiences or possible friendships, that can limit social development and growing social skills. Worse for Audhds with masking, communication etc.
5:36 moving ur arms when you walk causes you to be more efficient, each arm does counterbalance, I wondered the same question once. If you start walking distances without moving your arms and notice how tired you get, it becomes more obvious.
23:37 I know this isn't exactly related to the clip, but that's Kayla Cromer! She voices Twyla Boogeyman, my favorite character, in the 2022 Monster High reboot, which is my special interest. Twyla is an autistic character. It made me a little exited to hear her voice! Anyone else get excited when they hear the voice actor of their favorite show in another media?
I wish all the people's videos were linked separately. That would be neat because a lot of these folks are rad. Human around 30 min mark with all the jobs. I feel you. 🤜🤛
I have audhd and I am weird about things. In conversations, I will plan what im going to say and what the other person is going to say like 10 minutes before they say it. Some of my friends don’t know. And when I am in a conversation, I may or may not talk over them or say something completely off topic. Or a fact that I have known since I was 6! And it’s even more awkward when I get excited. I have learned not to care about the shit I do but when I get excited. Woo! It’s awkward. I will do the whole jazz hands things and continue to talk about why I want to go on it and how cool it’s gonna be. My friends that don’t know get so annoyed at me. Lol😂
the roller coaster thing reminds me recently ive let myself just experience my autistic joy- like, usually when it seems 'appropriate' ig but i sure do go full force instead of holding back to a 'normal' amount. example; went to my first concert with two bands i really like. when i heard songs i really liked i yelled the lyrics along and jumped and went "YIPPEE!!!" after the songs. very good experience would do again
I am so happy the girl around 22:12 spoke how she did. In real life it just makes people uncomfortable half the time, and I just sit there like oh maybe that's a normal reaction, until I later learn it isn't. It sucks. Idk why people online want to be part of something that makes our lives a daily struggle. Masking isn't something we do for fun. It's so we don't hurt other people by accident and also so we can somewhat be part of anything in the world.
The whole Wednesday sketch neer the end of the video was *g e n i u s* i like caracters who start off closed off and end up social since it shows other people autistic people can be really social and like physical affection. Cus i'm autistic and i like making friends an socializing (even if it's hard to do ;-;) But it would be very nice too see other autistic caracters who are less social or experience social situations differently. It's pretty peaceful and nice having caracters be alone without being framed as being lonely. Recap: So basically i like social autistic caracters since i like talking to others and meeting people but it is important and would be very cool having caracters who like spending time alone and/who are less social ^^
Yes. Just yes. I’m a 56 yo female (although, to the outside world, I’m about 12 😂) and I can sooo relate to so much here. It is amazing how much clarity comes with the realization of an ASD diagnosis. For me it was like the scene in the Wizard of Oz where everything goes from b & w to color. My memories became crystal clear and I felt like I’d finally found a home. Thank you for this! PS everyone in this video is beautiful but I gotta say, I’ve got a major crush on the first person who was talking about non-traumatized Autism. 😍🤗😊
The third girl describes my experience at school with such precision that its uncanny, I also only learned what "masking" is recently, as an adult, and Im just realizing the tremendous effect it had in my life
I think it's really beautiful that people scream automatically on a roller coaster. I had no idea that was a thing. That's so sweet that you get so excited that you just let out all your excitement. I love that.
I just asked a friend, because I (although neurotypical) didn't know that was a thing either, but apparently people do it because they are not only excited, but also startled, just like people sometimes make weird noises when they get startled in other situations. (I always thought that we make a noise then just so other people know that we are surprised, like when I open a door and somebody suddenly opens it from the other side at the same time, I make a small noise to let them know I didn't intentionally wait behind the door. Does that make sense?)
I just look angry or displeased while my brain is trying to figure out why its so loud and ahhh weird feeling 😂
I legitimately thought people screamed on rollercoasters just because it's the only socially acceptable place to scream until I watched this video.
wait. i thought it was just part of the ride experience to do that. doing it provides me with a more amplified level of excitement because...... because it's an easy way to look like im fitting in. shit .
I actually had no idea it wasnt on purpose I was amazed. But I also feel like an idiot because I would scream crazy going full out. 😭
The second one unlocked a forgotten memory for me. I was making a bracelet with a new kit for my birthday, and I lifted it up, but the knot I had tied wasn't good enough and all my hard work spilled on the floor. Instead of groaning and picking the beads up off the floor like a normal 11 year old, I screamed and hid behind a rocking chair. When my grandma found me, I was rocking back and forth, tears running down my face, repeating no one likes me over and over again. This was my birthday, there were people over, and we were going to have cupcakes in about 5 minutes and instead of playing with the other kids AT MY OWN PARTY I hid in the corner making a bracelet til it fell apart. Idk how nobody thought that there MIGHT have been something wrong with me. Thanks 4 listening if u read this
I'm sorry that happened. I hope future generations will do better thanks to more access to information and people's first hand experiences. Like this video that allows neurotypical people understand better.
I’m sorry your bracelet broke
maybe autism, including hiding in a corner playing with a new toy at one's own party, isn't actually wrong. including the stress responses, and other non-"typical" behaviours. maybe it's just stigmatised and looked down on because "normal" people don't know any other options. that doesn't mean there was nor is anything "wrong" with you, regardless of whether you're autistic.
Perhaps you're experiencing a touch of Asperger's because in full blown shutdown for an autistic there's absolutely _no_ way that it isn't obvious to carers what is going on. Typically most autistic people experience dysregulation in ways that are aggressive ie violence, fecal smearing and inability to verbalize. The way this person has described their "shutdown" it's more likely they are experiencing what's called "a bad day". Nothing noticable to most people. No genuinely autistic young people I know are capable of covering their experience of being autistic, let alone a shutdown. The functioning is such that they aren't able to interact... There's no "masking" with an actual Autism diagnosis! She's most likely not autistic. In reality most people have the quirks you write about. The girl in the video is pretty typical, too. Many young people seem to think they have autism due to the social media they consume and attention seeking traits/social contagion, but at best it's ADHD and _maybe_ GAD. Those diagnoses are pretty normal for most people! Nothing scary or special about those 🥰. Actually, in reality most autistic people are unable to go more than 10 minutes in conversation/discussion without specific markers of autism being absolutely undeniable. The number of people that are "high functioning" are ALSO extremely blase with very, very flat affect. The young woman in this video is not at all monotone or without affect. In fact, she's quite poised while emoting considerable emotion!
Most autistic children that are high functioning are unable to focus the way she did in her conversation or the way _you_ did in your considerably long writing. Not many Autistic folks can do that without straying off topic and/or writing/speaking with technical precision, like an engineer. Describing emotion is rare for a high functioning autistic. And of course in low functioning autism, there would be no typing with the skill you've shown. Very frequently, being able to interact in any way (but especially with the expertise you did!) is simply not possible.
Perhaps you have a touch of Asperger's? It would be worth you having a work up to see but most people like you have no need for diagnosis as you're not negatively impacted by your quirkiness! 🤓
I'm so sorry.
TL,DR: parties were overwhelming when I was a kid (they still can be!). I had meltdowns at my own/other b-day parties when not allowed downtime. Because it was the 80's people thought I wanted attention (attention was the LAST thing I wanted). Finally, I'm really, really sorry you had to go through that sh*t. I hope things are better now.
I had similar experiences growing up. Birthday parties were A LOT to deal with as a kid... my own, and the ones for my friends.
I vividly recall melting down at a couple parties for one of my closest friends: both times were during activities that split the party into two groups, made us compete against each other, involved some sort of performance like putting on skit, and were involuntary (I _said_ I wanted to sit out. I wasn't allowed 'cause "it wasn't fair" to the team).
I remember anxiety over not wanting to perform (or even compete 🤷🏻♀️) and eventually becoming overwhelmed by the constantly changing directions given to me as the group "leaders" decided what each person was going to do/say... I screeched, bolted into my friend's bedroom, and hid under a blanket the first time... second time it was a pile of laundry. I cocooned up and cried: enveloping myself was comforting and I liked hiding. Not having to see others and not being seen.
People came in and tried to comfort me/convince me to return. I refused to move until I was told my friend's mom was going to call my mom to take me home (yeah, both times).
The threat of further embarrassment was enough to get me back in the game. I didn't like a second of it, but I was already embarrassed about "freaking out" and stopping the party. The potential additional shame from being "the girl who had to be removed from the party because she freaked out" was too much. Especially because it wasn't only about people at the party: I went to a small school and knew _every single student_ would hear about what I'd done on Monday (or worse, an exaggerated version, because that's how gossip works 🤦🏻♀️).
It sucked. Still, I was lucky it happened with that friend... our families had been close since she and I were infants. The mom knew me well and was willing to put up with a lot of my odd behavior. Another parent probably would have called my parents ASAP.
Honestly, I didn't want to leave the party. I liked the people there. I wanted to keep hanging out with everyone! Just NOT during that activity...
Now I can see that at the time, although I'd been enjoying myself, I was _pretty_ overstimulated and needed a break. At other parties I'd be allowed to sit out from things and even wander off on my own for quiet time. Being given time by myself (sometimes a few minutes, other times a couple hours) kept me from reaching the point of meltdown.
Of course, parents talked to each other so they all knew I was weird at parties: some were understanding and thought there was something going on but weren't sure what it was. Others decided they'd rather let me be alone instead of dealing with my behavior when I got "needy" (when kids overheard their parents and told me, "needy" was the word I heard the most). All I needed was to be left alone! It wasn't like I was disruptive or went to restricted areas- I told the adults where I would be and stayed there... it wasn't like I took anyone's attention from the party by needing to be constantly watched 🙄.
My own parties... fortunately my parents knew to have something ready to keep guests entertained if I needed to be alone for a while, if it was just friends/classmates. Parties with adult relatives sucked because leaving was "rude." I'd make my own quiet time in the bathroom: having all my relatives think I had diarrhea was less embarrassing than a meltdown... and when I got older, IBS meant I didn't have to lie about it! 🙃
Unfortunately the one thing I could never get out of was having the room sing "Happy Birthday" at least once. I know it sounds bratty to complain about people showing up and celebrating my birthday. I felt bratty! I cried when it happened until age... well, much older than I'd like to admit. I tried so hard not to. Having everyone's eyes on me, the loud singing, all of it was just too much. I covered my ears as well, until even older... my parents told me it wasn't nice but eventually they stopped. They were embarrassed by it, but I was too... At least when I grew out of crying I could make myself smile while I covered my ears! It's one of the earliest times I understood masking made people around me happier, although I didn't know what I was doing until much, much later.
I'm in my 40's now. As a kid born in 82, nobody knew my behavior/responses were symptoms of an ACTUAL issue and not attention -seeking or from being spoiled. I'm finally figuring out things I didn't understand about myself, and it's been incredible...
I'm grateful I'm finally able to understand my own thoughts/emotions/behavior, although some incidents make me feel bad for my younger self... and it always breaks my heart when I hear other people have gone through the same or similar experiences.
If you made it this far: I apologized for blabbing so much about ME... your story brought up some memories and I basically typed them out in a "stream of consciousness" manner 😬. I'm sorry. Sharing my experiences is a way I relate to people, but I know I can take it way too freaking far...
I'm sorry you had to go through really hard experiences. I'm sorry no one noticed/realized you needed something you weren't getting. I hope things are better now, and I hope the people around you today understand and treat you the way you want and need to be treated. 💜💜💜
I'm undiagnosed. Everytime i start to think maybe I'm not autistic, i watch a video that describes me perfectly. Like, I just learned that screaming on a roller coaster is supposed to be involuntary.
I'm 51. I had no idea.
Same I just thought it was that people want to fit in with each other, like a band wagon lol. I personally shrink into my shoulders like a turtle and tense my whole body’s lol
I always laugh on rollercoaster, and often put my hands over my ears, not in the air
omfg as a kid I discovered that if I tense up and like… exhale slowly on roller coasters (which probably looked VERY weird), everything felt so much more manageable, which then made me think, “man, these other people are going soo crazy cuz they don’t know the trick” even though the actual trick is to just scream and let it out because I guess that’s what roller coasters are for…?
Idfk 😵💫
I'm sorry but I just think that the roller coaster thing isn't true??? I've asked a million neurotypical people this and tried doing a lot of googling and they all say they scream just because it's fun/what you're "supposed to do" - It seems like it is very much voluntary for people who aren't actually super scared of the ride.
You’re not autistic.
"Masking is acting."
Yes. I realize i struggled with communication until my mom paid for me to take acting courses when I was ten. Then it wasn’t as difficult. And when I still worked an extremely social customer service job, people would always compliment me on how friendly and kind I was and I realized I was just on stage performing the role of the customer service representative.
Yes, we are extreme people pleasers even when we shouldn't be. Then we have strong feelings of loyalty in bonds and when it feels like people betray you then you get fuming angry under the surface and replay the incident in your head all night... maybe carry it around for a few decades. It sucks.
@lakecityransom Indeed it does.
The accuracyyyy!
Bingo, I was the best at selling products when I worked in a camping store.
It was all an act.
Frr
For people who are self diagnosed or don't have good ways to get diagnosed around them, It's like they can never be sure. Cause since childhood I've been told I'm just lazy and bad at things. And that I just need to keep trying. I understand to an extent nothing comes easy and practice is important. But sometimes I just feel too different. It's nice to feel included in this community cause the tips and tricks really help.
You know thats fair!! But diagnosis can help you understand why that laziness happens! And lots of other things can happen to neurodivergent people generally to traumatize you. Capitalism is hard, you're not lazy just human ❤️
If you ever get the chance its always good to just talk to a professional about it and really understand yourself and how you function, even if its not autism!
@@noiseforautism yes that's why I've decided to get a diagnosis nonetheless. Atleast knowing is important.
@@sakuranovaryan9261 I settled for being 90% sure, because if the 10% is the case and I'm not autistic, then I don't even wanna know what the fuck is wrong.
Same. No diagnosis and not really an option right now but my sister's and my closest friends think I am on the spectrum. This kind of video is helpful for me in part because I do have an ADHD diagnosis but the autism stuff is newer to me and helpful.
How often in one's life do we gain perspective or context in our perception of ourselves? Maybe just a few times in your life.
Wow, the girl at the 29 min mark talking about how she doesn’t get paralyzed because she’s always been allowed to ask for help blew my mind. Even if I’d felt safe to ask for help with functioning I would have been disappointed because even as a kid I was more functional than either of my parents. No wonder I got overwhelmed and developed meltdown triggers I couldn’t get past. Who could I ask for help? But I can ask now. I need to get ok with asking for it.
asking for help is a complex skill that can improve with concerted effort and repeated practice. best wishes in that endeavour!
To touch on this a bit more its out of necessity that a lot of autistic individuals that are damaged or come from an unsafe environment mask because they don't feel safe even at a young age.
Speaking from personal experience I have masked nearly all my life, and as far as I can remember I've masked all the time especially with family. I can't take off the mask with them, I've tried, but so much has happened that I can only have that mask off if it cracks and sometimes it does. Though it goes right back on. Asking questions, getting help, learning to grow or make mistakes on my own because I wasn't allowed to make mistakes. Especially if you're a person of color, and gay in the Midwest. People were more concerned with me not being violent and thats literally just it, since I wasn't violent I got no diagnosis or help. It was the 90s. Wasn't able to be diagnosed until I was 32...that's a long. Tiring. 30 years...
Not only does the girl at 22:12 fucking tear the original post to shreds, but she does so SO DAMN WELL and everything is so worded. Not only that, but her description of Autism not being trendy irl is such a poignant statement. We should all aspire to be like her bro.
Agreed
Did you find her Tik Tok account? I looked on the list provided and didn't see it :) She is legit amazing and really wise.
ikr?!?!? i was cooking while listening to that and had my jaw dropped numerous times by how savagely and thoroughly she shut that ignorance down
Wait is Autism "trending" because that's just weird. I may have autism and I have yet to be able to be evaluated because the waiting list is so ridiculously long that they won't even make me an appointment yet. They said it could be 6 months to a YEAR before I can see anyone. I don't know why anyone would WANT to have a learning disability. I know that whether Tha is what is going on with me or if it is something else, I would rather have a normal functioning brain. Being neurodivergent may SOUND cool, but it's actually very frustrating in a world that caters to neurotypical people.
@@SimplySiren13Autism isn't a learning disability, it deals with processing outside stimuli. A learning disorder deals with your brain having an interference in you learning either math or reading etc etc. You can be autistic and have a learning disorder.
1:54 "I was acting almost normal but not quite" was probably the most relatable thing I've ever heard.
What’s really interesting is I’m audhd and I mask most of the time. My friend, who just has ADHD and isn’t autistic, never masks and has never cared to mask. It really shows how different neurodivergent people are compared to each other. It’s just so cool and interesting.
That is interested! Maybe never forced to which is awesome!
And also people are different. They experience things differently and it doesn’t mean they are neurodivergent.
I’m going to have to google Audhd, never heard of it
It’s so odd when someone is like “I can’t choose to mask”, like talking about it as if it’s something we do on purpose or with intention-rather than traumatic conditioning to visible traits being dangerous and safety requiring them to be masked-does not compute.
Like if you want to mask just get abused for a while I guess, since that’s where it comes from, your nervous system forcing you to avoid danger and said danger coming from being noticed, so everything that can be noticed or has been noticed gets shoved down and hidden from yourself. Like it literally takes trauma recovery to unmask, it comes from having identity trauma but non-masking autistics try to act like we’re just neurotypicals “putting on an act to fit in” and it’s enraging, like my entire body and mind would change for decades because of an offhand comment someone made that I internalize as *oh I can NEVER do that again in public or private got it* and I wasn’t even aware of it, constant suppression of needs and your own internal signals based on being convenient to the people in your environment being what kept you safe, that’s what masking is.
@@Xanderj89THANK YOU YESSSS PRECISELY
27:30 THIS. This is everything. The shame of failure has kept me from doing so many things, and the overlaying layer of preemptive shame for a future failure keeps me stunted. A lot of us had no safe adults to ask for help, and sometimes when we did we wouldn't get the help we actually needed or would get berated. As an adult I'm trying to figure it out, but calming myself when I'm flustered and trying to come up with new tools to work with can be like trying to fish for the kraken with a peice of rope during a hurricane.
I have Audhd and its so hard to just.. function.
I can't make decisions, and when I do make decisions I will often spend hours obsessing over if it was the right choice or not.
I can't spend too much time on one thing, but I also need everything I do to be perfect.
so I end up only doing 1 draft of any project.
I have published 3 books, all of which were one and dones. And now I can't write books even when I want to because my autism has decided "That's boring now, lets do something else"
I struggle in everything, from getting up in the morning to eating to just communicating.
I am a very high needs individual and one of the worst struggles is that I feel like a burden.. growing up I had so many dreams of what I wanted to do, I was told I could do anything and I would be really good at my job (cause I did really well in certain classes).
And now im an adult and can't do shit... I basically have to give up on my dreams and try to find joy in just.. existing, unable to create, unable to do anything but sit around and watch content other people were able to make.
can't even make many friends cause im also physically disabled so like.. man
life sucks for me
Oh I'm sorry :(
Man, that sucks. I'm sorry you gotta deal with that. I don't really want to be that person, but as someone with ADHD (and maybe autism????), have you tried looking at stuff not as tasks to be completed? Like, finding something you want to/can do and just making it a routine rather than a thing you are doing in the moment? Like going to one specific social thing every Friday without bothering to ask yourself if you want to do it and going even if you don't until it's routine, writing something small like a poem or a short story every day, or even just going to a nearby park to sit and look at the sky. I know this is the life you live and you clearly don't want to live this way, so you've probably tried a lot, but this is how I manage to do a lot of things that used to just be impossible for me. I'd also like to suggest on jobs - you've probably tried a few different ones and they didn't work out, but maybe you could try career counselling? It's hard to put my finger on it but it sounds like there really are jobs that you would work well in and enjoy (talking structure; not specific work) and you might just need information from someone who knows about how incredibly varied experiences in the professional world can be.
@@fruitymcfruitcake9674 thank you for your kindness and tips
Unfortunately I've tried such things, it's more difficult than that.
I am very high needs, doing things I don't want to do only lead to autistic breakdowns or panic attacks.
From going into town or even talking to an old friend
Its constant and annoying. I have so many things I wish to do, but if I keep pushing against my own mind I'll get into some trouble
I had a job for a few weeks and was almost sent to a mental hospital
I had migraines after work everyday and would have panic attacks in the middle of the day
But thank you got taking time out of your day to be kind
@@DecoyZ I see. I'm sorry you've already tried this stuff and didn't find it helpful. I hope one day you can find stuff that works for you and enjoy the benefits of a normal life :)
I know hearing people trying to help with advice you've already tried can be really annoying, so thank you for taking it nicely anyway. Have a good day!
😢 it's like I could have written this. I see you friend. You're not alone. I want you to succeed and get those dreams back. Love, hope, and light to you poppet... You'll be ok. I have faith that you can figure out your neural pathways to all your hopes and dreams. Please don't give up. You may just be experiencing burnout related skill regression and neural pruning, which means if you can find another access point to the knowledge you have, you can reteach yourself. If today isn't that day though, that's ok... Take care of yourself then, drink some water, take a shower or bath, pamper yourself in whatever way works best for you. I'm sorry you're struggling, but I hope you can get some rest and relaxation to try and progress further the next day.
I have never felt more called out than at 4:53. Like, normal people just scream on roller coasters without having to think about it?
Neurotypical people* ;)
oh my god i was on the yukon striker (at canada's wonderland) twice a bit ago and i screamed the first time and only the first time only because i felt obligated to, like i was supposed to. i was so confused as to why i didn't scream.
My dad told me the reason you scream is because it helps ease the butterflies feeling, but since my body doesn't do it naturally I tend to forget to do it.
yeah, I never felt inclined to, I usually found it annoying. me my dad and my brother end up smiling/laughing, and my sister screams because 'she finds it fun', not bc she's scared
Yeah lmao I was made aware of this from my friend when she found that making a deadpan face like I did on a roller-coaster without screaming was something people found difficult. I usually find screaming to make the ride more fun than just having a straight face (idk probably something adrenaline) so that's why I'll scream.
I really loved the person who said they were unmasked and untraumatized, it was very helpful and I learned a lot.
Does anyone know the creator’s name/handle?? (I don’t have tiktok to view the attributions playlist.)
Anyone else watching this identify so hard that you feel nauseous? I’ve had to pause it many times. Thank you so much for compiling this. Incredible. Grateful
Yes!! My stomach was doing flips and I felt it in my throat! I got hyper lol it’s now 4 am and I have to be up in the morning.
Omg YES!! I cringed 😬 😣🫣
This video found me because I've just realised my 17 yo ADHD daughter said she thinks she has autism like her younger brother. She's been rude and unkind to me since starting high school.
Anyhoo I suspect she has PDA auDHD. So I'm watching this to understand her, I get to 24:53 and realise that's me. Non traumatised non masker. The world stops. I empathize with my daughter who doesn't know to ask questions and is crippled by anxiety, fitting in and failed friendships.
The relationship between me and my daughter changes INSTANTLY because I now speak her language. We click. This literally happened from that moment to taking her grocery shopping to coming home and watching the rest to reading these comments. Thank you OP!
Fr
In case anyone else was wondering why people move their arms when they walk and that it seems people do it for no reason, we do it to counter balance the movement of our legs. Arm movement is in fact necessary for proper walking mechanics
Ah, yes. I see that you also like to (over)analyse everything.😢
I never moved my arms while walking. My sister pointed out when I was around 16 that I walk funny because I don’t move them. I then started practicing, but thought “should I move right arm with right leg?… No That’d look strange. Ok. Do the legs move a little faster or at the same pace as the arms?” Still haven’t answered the second question but I’ve been moving my arms since so I hope I’ve got it right 😅
I’m not observant enough to remember to compare.
I don't do it at all I just think it looks dumb
This is the logical explanation for it, that lady is full of sh
@marmedello arms moving when walking is a byproduct of your hips rotating when walking, so your shoulders counter rotate to offset the torque, then your arms (if you're just letting them hang there with no muscle input) just sway a bit.
If you're moving your arms in isolation then it comes across pretty robotic.
I'm just realizing how I wore high waisted jeggings throughout middle school and early high because it was offering pressure. I did know that it was "like a constant hug", but it's cool to realize why it's comforting
Probably the same reason I love compression socks, other than the obvious benefit of improved circulation. I feel like they're hugging my legs just right
I always wore a hoodie tied around my waist because the pressure comforted me
Lol me with corsets
I give myself a hug with my plush blanket that has the right amount of stretch and the right amount of cozy. But I don’t like human hugs… or human skin… 😑
= The person talking about screaming on roller coasters (4:47) - that was definitely an OH WAITTTTT moment for me - as someone who loves rollercoasters, swings, and every other kind of stomach-plunging carnival ride for the sensory enjoyment, I usually close my eyes and picture myself zooming through outer space, entirely silent (unless I'm riding one with my sister + we decide ahead of time to yell something dumb to our other sister waiting on the ground when we pass her, like "Greetings Peasant" - and the fact that people scream THE WHOLE THREE MINUTE LONG RIDE,
I N V O L U N T A R I L Y (and not just out of dedication the way people clap at ahows/concerts) .... b l e w m y (obliviously autistic) mind :0
I don’t scream either except for roller coasters that were too intense not to. But one made me giggle in between screens.
My kids are amusing on the swings. They act like their I always did and don’t smile or laugh unless they’re playing with each other at the same time. Their stoic faces crack me up. I can hardly change it no matter how many ways I try and play with them. My two year old used to always get annoyed when I’d try and play with him on the swing
This, I scream on roller coasters because it's what your "supposed to do" I never realised it's involuntary for others.
rightttt i never realised or knew it was involuntary. i’ve never screamed on rides, i’ve always been silent and straight-faced for the majority of the time
I don't think it's only this way for NT and only the other way for ND. It blew my mind too but my NT boyfriend said if he wants to scream then he does, if not then not. But yes of course there are some people doing it involuntary.
50:00 I've been the autistic mom sitting on the floor of my closet but ive never heard someone talk about those feelings that absolutely turned my survival mechanism upside down when i became a parent. There is something so freeing about hearing that someone else has felt the exact same way for the exact same reasons and that it doesnt mean either of us is broken
@qrypyid same girl same
One of the most stupid situations I got myself by accidentally telling my online class I was autistic, one kid said he could relate to something because of his adhd and I said I can relate to the same thing too tho I don't have adhd but I'm autistic everyone just got so weird and offended it was soo fucking weird, everyone started questioning where I am on the dsm 5 and shit even the teacher said that I shouldn't open up things like that, like jesus christ I just said I could RELATE to something because of something I have and the other guy can get away with his relation with his adhd, smfh
Im sorry that happened! people are very ableist and cant see autism in people who don't look a specific way. But hopefully this is changing as we all become more educated!
@@noiseforautism yeah luckily I did have one class that approached autism very well in my anthropology class I had an amazing teacher, he even said that he had autistic students he taught that notified him about how horrible autism speaks is and taught that to class and showed that ted talk video, I miss that class so much it was my favorites 😁
I definitely find the other people in that situation to be the 'weird' ones. That's certainly a strange reaction to someone just stating they're autistic.
@@TheHestya honestly I agree everyone there pretty much reacted like they never even met an autistic person my age
They acted like you told them you are a serial killer or somethjng 🙄
I thought this was probably a troll and maybe a hate situation, but no!! I feel so comforted knowing that i wasnt struggling alone when it came to last diagnosis... Thanks for the compliation!
of course! no trolls here haha, I'm glad you enjoyed. You're definitely not alone!
It may be comfermation bias
@@supme7558 There are far too many varying degrees of involvement and in depth experiences shared for this entire hour+ compilation video to solely provide confirmation bias.
And saying what you did makes it seem like you think the same way as the chick the girl with the DSM called out. It's like you're dismissing an important moment for someone as not being as eye opening as they feel it is and that really sucks. Especially in a world specifically designed to be confusing to people who don't conform to societal norms a ways of thinking/processing.
I'm not saying that's specifically what you meant by your comment, but that's the way it came off. If that's not what you meant, I would expect more of an explanation as to why you said what you did.
It's hard enough for ND to relate with anyone most of the time so it feels really good when we actually can. And even more than just relating, we can understand ourselves better, as well.
I really need a diagnosis. Ive struggled so much and these are resonating so much with me.
I've always found wearing a hoodie all year long to be comforting. Putting the hood on makes me feel like I was forming a safe space for myself
What sucked was in the 90s, absolutely NO teachers or even the school, noticed a damn thing about me not being ok in any classes, and eventually when it got Way too stressful and the bullying got physical in front of teachers- and they let it happen, I stopped going ...completely- and they didn't notice ..I probably had the most unexcused absences in the entire school and nobody did anything..I'm glad times have changed
i am so glad you lived to tell the tale. not everyone does. ;_;
@@ozok17 thank you, I really appreciate your comment. And I'm very glad as well.
some really bad things happened around that time with violence & unfortunately some ppl didnt make it past 20..to this day and always, I will go to the cemetery & put flowers up for those ppl I knew whose lives were taken for a little $ & some random stuff. 😔
@tarahj478 I'm not really sure if anything changed tbh, I was verbally harassed and attacked by my ex in the hall at high school. He was a bit more well liked and popular and I was the just the odd quite kid everyone thought was smart. And no one not a single teacher that I looked at while it was happening came over to stop him from grabbing me and shouting at me for not going to his football game when I was sick with the flu.
For granted I've never been diagnosed with autism, I'm in my 20s and I've just started thinking about how odd my child hood was, at one point I had someone that I thought was a friend in middle school say something like I was a dog...no matter how many times you beat and put it down, make fun of it you chase after people and want to play. And that was the same very day I decided to ghost all of them and never open myself or try to make friends again, everytime I try I fail.
The third girl was me growing up. I wasn’t really bullied but I was mostly ostracised at worst and tolerated at best. I had a good group of friends but I found it fluctuated often. I was a super high masker and even found it fun at one point. I’ve stopped now but I also notice as an adult, people just don’t have time to care (it could be because my generation is overworked and under rewarded)
Also not to be a hater but we use our arms when we walk as counterbalance. We as humans weren’t exactly made to be bipedal but we decided (biology decided lmao) anyways that we would walk on two legs. So the arm swinging is from our genetic ancestors and also as counterbalance for when we walk.
@@FeyPaxthank you for saying that, it really bothered me that I hadn't seen anyone mention the counterbalance effect so far down the comments
Jesus!!! The amount of people expecting everyone else to cater to you is insane. I just couldn't bear the boredom in that class"? Just tell us you are self absorbed and a child.
30:00 literally made me break down in tears. I’m 39 and it’s like someone just completely spoke what has always been happening to me
Its hard but Im so happy you found solidarity here! You're not alone!
I think you're doing your best
Please take care
Who is the creator? There's no credit on the video. I feel the same way. I have job struggles and nobody can tell me why or what I'm doing wrong and it's really sad and exhausting. 😢
@@noiseforautism Who is the creator at 30:00?
1:56 “to the popular kids I was weird to the weird kids I was popular” this video hit too close to home 😭😭😭
Its kind of amazing how this giant spike in autism in recent years is actually helping humans understand humans better.
6:07 Girl!!! We need to move our arms to walk! Its for stability/balance and it helps propel you forward making walking less tiring.
30:40 The man explained exactly the reason why I quit my well paid job recently. The only difference: I knew my needs better and was absolutely perfectionist about „recharging“ to a degree that I had to isolate myself from family and friends much more than I wanted to (I had meltdowns, but I paid a high personal price to limit them to an acceptable level). Spending most of the free time just to recharge in order to prevent meltdowns caused me to quit. During the 2 months notice I had to continue working I feared a meltdown at work because the stress continued to grow. I felt my self control weakening as well. And of course I had trouble to say no. Glad it didn‘t happen.
I love the woman talking about "cute weird" vs being herself which might be "actually weird". It taps into such a part of our culture which has made this "quirky girl" archetype in movies and stuff and it gets adopted by people incorrectly, i think. Then it really doesn't leave room for people with neurodivergence to be free because then they're also being compared to this supposed "cute weird" type, along with "normal people", but that type is also still within the realms of the socially acceptable ideas of how one behaves.
Not just women, either. I saw it with a guy friend of mine who is so attractive, talented, successful, a musician... but he liked star wars so he was like "ahh im such a dork, im so weird"... im like, no dude. 😂 Also see it with people and OCD, which I have. There is this "im sooo OCD" almost like it's this "im cute because I like to be organzied" thing.
I fully believe the "manic pixie dream girl" trope is just an afab autistic person
Dude! Screaming on a roller-coaster is supposed to be involuntary!!! Wow shows how much I know about myself.
I never knew it was involuntary and I’m questioning myself
@@alex.r.891 Now I get why I was so confused at my friend for never screaming on the roller-coaster when we went to theme parks.
Haha it's crazy all the things we never realize about how different our individual experiences are!
Wait, so it’s not optional? I thought like, you can scream if you wanted, but you don’t have to
i never knew that either like wtf
I find listening to this stuff very hard as I tend to get annoyed and assume these people are lying to themselves. But I know they are sharing so much of my experience and I'm actually being unkind to myself. I don't believe I'm allowed to struggle and I should just stop being weird. Seeing so many people affirm me makes it hard to argue
Would you be mean, judgmental, intolerant and impatient with your best friend?
I sure hope not! Now you have to become that best friend
Thank you for expressing yourself
Man I really relate to what you wrote 😩 As a child whenever I was struggling and asked for help, I was told I was lazy or not trying hard enough and made to believe I wasn't actually having a hard time. As an adult I realize it was gaslighting. I've read somewhere that the words and tone we hear as children become our inner voice as adults. I wonder if my first reaction of not believing my fellow autistic peers stems from the negative internal voice I inherited from my parents. Just curious and don't feel obligated to respond, but do you feel like you were brushed off a lot as a child, not taken seriously or had your feelings invalidated by the adults in your life? I wonder if this reaction we have stems from the same root for everyone.
I tend to be quite protective of family/friends, so have started trying to hijack the protectiveness & apply it to myself. Helps that I dissociate a lot & already tend to talk about myself analytically as another being. I'm now starting to be able to be protective of myself, often in fun indulgent ways & be like 'whoa nobody talks to me like that, back up buddy' - to myself & my 'your-problems-aren't-real/valid' inner voice
Girl around 2 minutes is way too relatable. lol. Especially the hard class being PE, and not masking there haha. I buddied around with people in my PE class who I really liked and who were really nice to me but who I wouldn't have probably hung out with otherwise because I thought we were so different. Maybe that was because I was more vulnerable in there, just trying to not fail the class and ruin my GPA haha.
I love how the wednesday one said exactly everything I was thinking and more, but I didn't know how to express it.
This makes a lot of sense now. I think Everything Everywhere All At Once being coded as ADHD is a bit annoying too. They're right, just make canonical neurodivergant characters that represent multiple symptoms/traits.
6:17 that entire video made me sob because I’m 14 and literally only have 3 friends, and I have ADHD and throughout my entire childhood I never understood why it was so hard for me to make and keep friends. It still is for me, I’ve only had those three friends throughout my whole life, and it’s still hard for me to keep and make new ones.
I cried too because it was me. I'm 38 now... I finally found my bestie. I really did and so will you. Keep being you
jealousy jealousy..
I feel this so much! Know your not alone its really hard
Not everyone in this comments section stopping at the roller coaster part. It literally took me 3 whole minutes to get over it.
this video felt a little bit like therapy to me, as someone who plans to seek diagnosis for some semblance of neurodivergency when I am able to. bless and love to everyone who made these tiktoks
Humans move their arms because while it isn't "necssary" it is actuallly more efficient.
You spend energy to not move your arms while walking or running.
It helps with balance also. I don't move them much when I walk but when I speed walk it definitely helps my balance.
29:34 I personally work in a warehouse with a few really great other co-workers (a few who are also nd). The structure of my day is really great for me, and the work itself is delivered in a very simple step by step way. I like work and physically doing things, so everything works out pretty well for me.
I wasn't diagnosed till I was 19. The first 19 years was brutal. Then the next ten years was spent trying to convince people I didn't make up my diagnosis because I can mask at expert level. The last 8 years have been spent trying to heal from the damage of being undiagnosed for so long. I live every day with cptsd. I'm 35 now and I still struggle with self worth and self esteem. Being raised by narcissists while being undiagnosed autistic is something I'll be unpacking for a while
As someone who has been diagnosed with ADHD in kindergarten and undiagnosed Autism since elementary. It is true how friendships aren't kept...i only have two good friends i can unmask around without society insulting it as "Childish" or "Unessesary" ❤
At 11:14, omg this girl is so right. That’s why Paige Layle is rather popular besides being “weird” and autistic. I really like Paige but let’s be honest, if she wasn’t as conventionally attractive, she would be significantly less known. Being attractive kind of balances out the weirdness of autism
Yes. This is a big reason why i get "but you dont look autistic" 💀 and yes, i get described as "cute" constantly... but i am 43 freakin years old and have grey hair 🤦♀️
Being attractive covers a whole lot of things.
then I must be hella ugly bc no one likes me at all 💀💀
Yeah except she said everyone is on the spectrum like WTH 😭😭😭😭
Fr the fuck
Everything that came before felt sonewhat or more relatable, especially becoming wothdrawn when overstimulated, and the part about getting upset when asked why i feel the way i do, because i cant explain it in a better way than how i had just put it into words. (0:48).
Sometimes, i would find myself asking "what do you want me to say/want from me?" Because i couldnt understand what needed clarification.
But this? (6:16)
This broke me.
Every. Single. Point.
WOW! I never realized that I didn’t have peer friendships during early school and well into university years. In my younger years, I had my 5 siblings to look after and play with, so I wasn’t aware that having sleepovers and invitations to parties were things to desire. As I was undiagnosed until I was 80, it makes sense that this not having childhood friends was a thing that indicates I was neurodiverse.
This is what I struggled to exrpess! Demands with PDA feel like my autonomy is being threatened. Somebody insists on me doing something and I instantly feel like they're robbing me of the right to decide what I do and I get very defensive
Same. ❤
My jaw dropped on the rollercoaster screaming thing. Holy crap! I thought it was just a fun silly thing???? That perfectly described me. I have no words lol
Anyway I love this compilation! It's super cozy and fun!
The Wednesday and Enid video was so perfect. Their acting was amazing and such good points made
I've never moved my arms when I walked, and my mother told me I'm the only one in the world that doesn't do that. I first found out when I was six and my acting agent started teaching us how to walk on a run way and I kept forgetting to move my arms. I always knew I was neurodivergent, but I never knew anything about my adhd, ocd, and possibble autism. So, I'm having the same experience when finding out what that means as people who never knew they were neurodivergent in the first place.
Sammeee omg!! Ive always thought about if i have to move them or not
Believe it or not, many goofy people are not autistic.
@@MungeParty yes, I didn't say there wasn't.
I remember my mother saying it was weird that I moved my arms back and forth in sync! I did change that a while back. Or I hold my hand behind my back and just look.. fancy? I've also been told that I walk and move like a Sims character - which isn't helped by my strength and flexibility which can make my movements borderline artificial.
@mikafoxx2717 that's unteresting how people can think the opposite things are normal.
"I don't look like this, I just didn't want to see my own face today " felt 100% ❤
"To the popular kids I was weird but to the weird kids I was popular" hit the nail on the head
I was nobody at all
I don’t know if I feel better or worse after watching this
51:07 This brought back a memory, I literally did this exact same thing. And then I even told my friends that "Yeah I have an imaginary friend" knowing fully that I didn't believe that bitch was real one bit, I made her up cuz I heard people had imaginary friends
Same here! The "imaginary friend" thing was very short-lived
Dangit. I wish I could have been this understood 35 YEARS AGO. omg so many of these. The woman around 45:30 talking about being willing to LET people be right, and forcing ourselves to give someone that even though we know it’s wrong… because when we’re young we assume they have a reason and know what they’re about, but then we regret it, and we grow up and don’t want to keep doing that. Holy moly. 50 YEARS of **THIS**. Also the young woman around minute 10:00. Absolutely spot on.
These TikToks GET me!!! I never understood why I never understood other humans. Like, at all. Finding out I’m neurodivergent answered ALL THE QUESTIONS.
I never thought about the rise of non-traumatized Autistics. It makes me happy all the work I put in over the last ten years is bringing a happier future for those younger than me. So much emotional labor and i all so happy now. Like planting seeds and i waited all winter and now in spring they sprout. I am eager to see what beautiful things the younger Autistics grow in their gardens.
2:13 This is the first time I’ve heard this experience that is so close to mine, I’ve never felt so seen
Its so nice to feel!
ME TOOOOOOOOOO IT SPOKE STRAIGHT TO ME
the title made me watch. my brother has autism and adhd and im also studying to be a teacher so here i am trying to educate myself :) i feel like these experiences overlap with my anxiety in some ways, especially the sensory things. thank you sm for making this compilation. some of my favorite people are autistic, and this really helped me understand some things better.
yep, autism is often anxiety-inducing
I highly recommend neuroqueer heresies by Nick Walker...
- an autistic teacher
48:58 I once said I was feeling a bit peckish. It was a joke. I mean, I was hungry, but I used that word to amuse myself. My in-laws looked at me like I had two heads.
I totally relate to the creator, I do it to at some flair to my speech. Sometimes I just like how a word feels.
@@MagentaDinosaurs sampling concepts like hors d'ouevres
Omg the guy at 30:00 and the guy after him i resonate with soooo much. Extreme burnout, unable to keep a job. My whole family blaming me and putting me out on the street bc of it. And the other guy talking about over emotional reactions. Everything, movies, songs, especially news will immediately put a welt in my throat. It would take all my will power to hold it in. (Sometimes not very well) I learned from a very early age to supress and mask my emotions. My dad used to smother me if i cried. (Basically hand over my mouth and plug my nose). But id still have meltdowns at home on the regular. I was terrified to go to sleep at night. I would have to mumify myself and try to stop breathing so the demons or aliens wouldn't hurt me. The ironic thing is that my mom was a teacher for autistic kids but never got me diagnosed and never believed or understood my struggle. She didnt want to have special needs kids even though her job was to advocate for them. This lady also used to beat me and bully me growing up so that just shows you the kind of human she is. Why do so many special needs teachers abuse their children? Its a trend ive noticed
Jeez... I'm so sorry. Your parents were... just awful.
I hope you have people around you now who love and respect you AND treat you the way you deserve to be treated: with compassion and acceptance. 💜
I appreciate the work that went into curating this group of videos. I find myself wanting more from certain of the contributors. It would be helpful if you added their names as captions so we can look them up.
Hi! Thanks so much for your comment. I've just made a list of all of the creators which you can view on tiktok! This is a link to the playlist. You can also find it in the description now! Hope this helps!
www.tiktok.com/t/ZT8ehXskb/
@@noiseforautism Thank you! I will check it out this evening when I have a moment! 😃
@@noiseforautismso sorry, but I don't have tiktok. Is there another place with the list.
@@noiseforautismwhat if we don’t have TikTok! Can you post the list on RUclips too??
Omg the roller coaster thing is so real. Realizing nobody else is even thinking about what they're doing in the moment is so insane to me.
Oh my. The arms moving when walking bit. I forgot I went through that same process around the same time. I adapted it to like a comedic walk I would do to make people laugh. Humor's a great "natural mask" because you just gotta focus more on correlations of uncommon expectations, and that's somehow easier than knowing what to expect.
I find thinking in opposites, or observing opposites to establish contrasts to, is overall useful. I've only recently been diagnosed, still figuring things out.
Feeling so much love for all my fellow ND’s on this video. Thank you so much for making us all feel understood ❤️
"We need more autistic characters who are aroace."
Yes!!!
Wait- did I understand that right: people riding a rollercoaster scream because they cannot help themselves? They would not be able to just be quiet?
I always scream because I want to and it's fun., like belting out a favorite song and feeling all excited... I thought that is what everyone did...?
53:31 gotta show this to my therapist, i got in a really bad fight with my parents over this shit!!! I said literally everything i needed to say and my parents actively and boldly manipulated my words and gaslit me into thinking and saying the opposite, but i wasn't having that shit. I directly quoted his words back and he said "thats not what i said" MOTHERFUCKER YOU SAID THE WORDS AND I REPEATED THEM AND NOW THEY’RE MAGICALLY DIFFERENT!!! hate my family fr fr
That‘s terrible to hear, especially from your parents. I mean why do we autistic people have to learn about ambiguity of language to even be able to defend ourselves while they just assume things without even being aware that there‘s 2 or more possible meanings?
The person that trained me in my job did something similar. He often asked me questions if I didn‘t forget one of the 20+ computers I had to inventory to great detail (like 15-20 properties of each pc like the position, OS, RAM, CPU, …) and I answered truthfully: “I think yes. Not 100% sure though.” (I’m often overwhelmed and forgetful and the pressure increased this forgetfulness by a lot). If he then found out I had forgotten that pc, he accused me of lying, which I didn‘t. I admitted that I wasn‘t sure and only added that I think the probability is low of me having forgotten that particular pc.
I do also argue with my parents about the meaning of my or their words, though they are like at least 80% less judgemental about that.
@avengedprophet1559 and it's always the least charitable explanation for it too. Oh, you misspoke or forgot some details? It couldn't possibly be that you genuinely forgot or misspoke . "You lied, you purposefully decided to mislead us for your own purposes" . Some neurotypicals do have the patience for us to just exist but I swear, I just got unlucky with the ones I have to live with and spend most of my time with.
@@squidnipendleton3765 Yeah, some people can‘t grasp the concept that some people are different. Like don‘t infer from yourself to others. Not everyone is like you. Would be boring if it would be.
I'm 45 years ols, and i just got diagnosed as "high functioning" autistic with ADHD. My first reaction was relief. Diagnosis made so much sense. All those episodes of depression and anxiety, all those burnouts i've had because i tried to act normal - and yet i felt like an alien who tries to pose as a human... So, now i'm trying to learn how to live with "my weird brain" without masking / woth minimal masking, and making my life easier and better for my self.
I'm going to comment multiple times probably because this video is so long, but at 8:11, my mom will get upset at me when I repeat what someone sung like in a song she is playing because she thinks I'm making fun of them, but I'm just repeating the fun sound they just made 🫠 I'm not trying to be disrespectful, I think it actually just means I like how they sounded. And I do is so automatically at times, so I don't even realize I just did something "disrespectful" until I've already done it.
Yeah i do this same thing. Its so hard but I just try and explain that I just thought the sound was cool, im not making fun I just do that, most of the time like automatically and not because I want to
"It wasn't missed it was ignored" applied to my anxiety, depression and OCD. I would have done so much better as an adult if I had some early therapy. I literally told my parents I had OCD and they were like "oh wow" then did nothing.
Fun little story about my autism diagnosis (or lack thereof)! My gender specialist is also trained in autism assessments and after a year of calls and appointments was like “yeah… I’m referring you to get an assessment because there’s no way you only have adhd.” To which I was like “YOU DONT FUCKING SAY?” ‘‘Twas a happy lad.
Then I got assessed aaaaaaand it was weird and juvenile and I felt weirded out the whole time so I did not act how I usually do on top of masking. I got the results later and the assessment doctor said *and I fucking quote “Rowen can’t be autistic because many of his symptoms are co-morbid with adhd and he communicates well”* bitch what? They asked me to read a book for 5 year olds about floating frogs and asked me if my friends did drugs, NOT TO MENTION CUTTING ME OFF WHEN I WAS STARTING TO TALK EVEN SLIGHTLY ABOUT MY INTERESTS OR DESCRIBING MY THOUGHT PROCESS FOR THINGS. YOU KNOW. LIKE THEY SHOULD.
Anyway I cried 😊
So I told my gender specialist and he gave me the whole low down on how mental health diagnosis is more subjective because you can’t simply take a blood test or something and long story short “while I respect his professional opinion, I 100% respectfully disagree” and who am I going to believe? The guy who saw me once for an hour or the doctor with the same credentials who I’ve talked too for over a year at that point?
autism assessment docs are often full of shit when it comes to diagnosing adults
are you amab or afab if you don't mind me asking
@@RosenrotRtLiebchen87 totally understand why you’d ask. I’m afab trans male and had transitioned before my assessment but I know that years of living as a girl definitely doesn’t help getting a diagnosis.
@@novaanimations5958 yeah, being socialized as female is i believe a barrier, at least in some diagnostic circles. too many docs don't seem to update their knowledge with advancing criteria understanding. i was an outlier personally, I'm afab but was still somehow diagnosed both autistic and with adhd at a young age, single digit age basically. my mom and dad aren't reliable sources of information though for this stuff so asking for an exact age of dx is not the best option for me sadly
@@novaanimations5958 I'm personally a form of nonbinary btw
@@RosenrotRtLiebchen87 hell yeah remix that gender. Also good on you for being diagnosed young! That tism was strong
In all seriousness though, getting socialized female definitely made me behave differently than otherwise and that has absolutely made getting my diagnosis more difficult.
01:06:03 "Reclaiming your birthright as the reigning sovereign of the kingdom of your mind" I love this description of unmasking.
It just reminds me of the times I have done something “weird” and immediately been questioned or othered because of it. Also, 35:46 yeah I know every single line of every single character in the entire show of SAO abridged. I also know 16 digits of pi because why not: 3.141592653589793
One last thing: I think I truly unmasked for the first ever when my sister’s gf came over the other day. She is autistic in kind of the same way I am, like same symptoms. The reason I think it’s the first time is that’s it’s the first time I’ve done something really “random” and not felt weird because of it. I mean she laughed at most of it and that was exactly what I wanted. It was amazing.
“To the popular kids, I was really weird. But to the weird kids, I was popular”. I related *so hard* to this…
I grew up not knowing I had autism, family didn’t want to take me for testing, so I had to figure a lot of this out on my own. (Not looking for sympathy just setting up backstory.) because of that I went through a lot of things like the stuff mentioned in the video, I wore a jacket through high school everyday including weekends and summer (we live in Florida). almost failed PE for not fully changing. (It didn’t stop me from participating so she had to pass me) any way I had to learn how to adjust myself or hide things in subtle ways because everyone wanted me to “act normal” Moving on from that i got diagnosed in my mid-20s Right before I started teaching ESE. (ESE is the term now used for children with mental, emotional, or physical stumbling blocks that can prevent them from achieving their goals in a standard classroom environment.) I honestly hated growing up feeling so different but it gave me a weird advantage. I understand the frustration,the anger, the jackets, the biting, hitting, screaming, yelling, running, lack of focus, need for stimulation, hyper focus. And while I’m not perfect at it and each of my kids have different needs when it comes to helping them with these stumbling blocks I have never been more appreciative to having safe ways for them to bring themselves back to their center without hurting themselves or others physically, mentally, or emotionally, especially when I teach 1st and 2nd so many of my kids are not able to start medication yet or therapy do to wait times. It is definitely not fail proof but seeing my kids be able to make it over their stumbling blocks without my help is worth it because I know I would not have the ability to help them as much as I can if I wasn’t able to relate to them. Also apparently parents like it when you can help them narrow down reasons for certain behaviors.
Yep. Everytime I see/hear someone try to dismiss and gaslight autistic people, theyre always someone who doesn't even know what the DSM is and they also appear to spend way too much time on social media to even know what autistic people are like irl.
I appreciate the person who spoke about traumatized autism vs untraumatized autism. Thank you.
When the school counselor told my parents i was just being dramatic but these tiktoks make me feel more understood than ever. I didn't know what masking was i mean ive heard the word but hearing someone explain no wonder im always exhausted after school. Also other peoples brains dont go "you have to scream, you have to make a face, everyone else is doing it." when their on a roller coaster. If i dont make myself do something i would just be sitting there legit just sitting there, i mean roller coasters are ok or whatever but im just reacting because thats what you do on a roller coaster.
i wanted to make it clear that ive done a lot of reasearch and taken online autisim asessments.
Yeah it's really hard especially if you're a woman! People just don't know what autism looks like in women so we're all figuring it out together. If you want it, keep fighting for that diagnosis! Someday you will find a doctor that will listen to you.
@@noiseforautism Thank you!!! ❤
This is been so helpful and comforting. I think I found my people.
If i have autism, i relate to 37:00 a lot
Autistic traits i seem to display:
- pda,,,, expects others attention for body doubling, gets attached to people, people are the hyperfixation
- insist on wearing jackets all the time (specifically during social areas)
- really good memory
- i have situational mutism (although i manage to overcome it at times)
- i talk in memes, movie, video, and book quotes.
- i embody the traits i like from other people.
- tends to do down-up thinking
- attracts and attracted to austistic-coded people and characters
- used to talk about people like theyre animals (e.g. "humans tend to be social animal")
- i thought i was maybe an empathetic narcissistic
- im queer and genderqueer
- although i was mostly obedient, if there was a disrespectful authoritative person it brought out a sense of defiance.
- i tend to correct people a lot to the point people thought i was a grammar nazi, goody two shoes, and teachers pet. (Teachers didnt always like me either cus i corrected them too)
- i cant stand seeing people get bullied
- i highly respect people who redeem themselves
- 42:54 relate
- 43:50 i love eye contact too. But people find my eye contact to be uncomfortable, so as much as i hate im trying to take it down a notch
- 44:22 yesss this. I feel like I'm performing. People end up liking me in group settings since my anxiety makes it seem like im more charismatic than i actually am.
- 48:17 i used to speak really formally. Now i speak overly casual but somehow still distant.
- 50:11 woah i remember i used to think like this too. Nowadays i cant even imagine s*icide
- 51:09 meeee 😭
- 51:15 og me again
- 53:33 yes i speak accurately and intentionally
- 54:38 unmasking process
- 1:05:15 I find assurance in knowing all the details before doing anything
0:11 to about 1:17 AHHHHH this TikTok is so useful for how I’ve been feeling misunderstood lately!! 😩 oh my goodnesss!! THANK YOU for wording this so well!!!!
I remember my school peers often telling me I was "trying too hard" and I never understood what the hell they meant because to me, I was just behaving like everyone else, so, normal. NOW it all makes sense... much too late.
14:06 "all because I can't figure out the most efficient way to do it and also I can’t start" I feel seen 😊 Thanks 💕
2:00
Fuck, this hits hard. I've always jumped around groups (because the 2 friends that I had either got bored of me, or I was under stimulated/ignored). And thus I'd go from group to group, until break was over and it was time for class.
I even had a teacher, that correctly identified this, and called me a "follower". (Some kids were being disruptive in class and he booted them out. I didn't realise that he included me in that group.)
That remark didn't sink in at the time, but I've been thinking about it for a long time now. (This happened ~25 years ago.) And it hits hard. Guess I never really belonged anywhere.
I 100% relate!!!
BRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOO!!! I needed AALLL these people today. Every single one of these clips are just full of beautiful, REAL Aspies just trying to make sense if the world. This is Aspie Soul Food, fr. 😭
Haha aspie soul food omg! I've just made a list of all of the creators which you can view on tiktok! This is a link to the playlist. You can also find it in the description now! Hope this helps you get a little more of them in your life!
www.tiktok.com/t/ZT8ehXskb/
the girl around the 2 minute mark was so real. I did the same but like the character I thought was cool and emulated was Abed Nadir so all my friends figured out that I had autism before I did 😭
10:50 (speaking as male, Au diagnosed and suspected adhd) very relatable with being the friend who is seen as weird. Part looking too normal when masking. Part the social differences like oversharing. Teenage years are the worst! I've you reach late 20s onward it may get easier to make friendships. I would add it depends on social opportunity and that a lot of social skill and capability in NTs is actually learned through experience, if you are in a place with few opportunities, or with less variety of possible social experiences or possible friendships, that can limit social development and growing social skills. Worse for Audhds with masking, communication etc.
5:36 moving ur arms when you walk causes you to be more efficient, each arm does counterbalance, I wondered the same question once. If you start walking distances without moving your arms and notice how tired you get, it becomes more obvious.
27:27 This is amazing and I'm glad to be enriched by what you're saying.
THANK YOU FOR THIS!!!
Of course!! Thanks for supporting!
59:29 Just really like how she looks and talks
23:37 I know this isn't exactly related to the clip, but that's Kayla Cromer! She voices Twyla Boogeyman, my favorite character, in the 2022 Monster High reboot, which is my special interest. Twyla is an autistic character. It made me a little exited to hear her voice!
Anyone else get excited when they hear the voice actor of their favorite show in another media?
Aw thats so sweet! Love to hear that
Did not realise I was a traumatized autistic person until she said "I don't struggle to ask for help or make mistakes."
i actually remember that i was on a fair ride and i remember that i just kind of stopped screaming after a bit when i got used 2 the motion
Yeahh I had this experience as well haha. Then I started screaming just cause it was fun and there's no other time I could just scream for fun
I wish all the people's videos were linked separately. That would be neat because a lot of these folks are rad. Human around 30 min mark with all the jobs. I feel you. 🤜🤛
I have audhd and I am weird about things. In conversations, I will plan what im going to say and what the other person is going to say like 10 minutes before they say it. Some of my friends don’t know. And when I am in a conversation, I may or may not talk over them or say something completely off topic. Or a fact that I have known since I was 6! And it’s even more awkward when I get excited. I have learned not to care about the shit I do but when I get excited. Woo! It’s awkward. I will do the whole jazz hands things and continue to talk about why I want to go on it and how cool it’s gonna be. My friends that don’t know get so annoyed at me. Lol😂
the roller coaster thing reminds me recently ive let myself just experience my autistic joy- like, usually when it seems 'appropriate' ig but i sure do go full force instead of holding back to a 'normal' amount. example; went to my first concert with two bands i really like. when i heard songs i really liked i yelled the lyrics along and jumped and went "YIPPEE!!!" after the songs. very good experience would do again
I believe that the person at 29:40 would be an excellent ASMRtist!♥️
I am so happy the girl around 22:12 spoke how she did. In real life it just makes people uncomfortable half the time, and I just sit there like oh maybe that's a normal reaction, until I later learn it isn't. It sucks. Idk why people online want to be part of something that makes our lives a daily struggle.
Masking isn't something we do for fun. It's so we don't hurt other people by accident and also so we can somewhat be part of anything in the world.
The whole Wednesday sketch neer the end of the video was *g e n i u s* i like caracters who start off closed off and end up social since it shows other people autistic people can be really social and like physical affection. Cus i'm autistic and i like making friends an socializing (even if it's hard to do ;-;) But it would be very nice too see other autistic caracters who are less social or experience social situations differently. It's pretty peaceful and nice having caracters be alone without being framed as being lonely.
Recap: So basically i like social autistic caracters since i like talking to others and meeting people but it is important and would be very cool having caracters who like spending time alone and/who are less social ^^
My heart goes out to all these kids. My son experiences alot of these situations. I wish for him, to find friends like some of these kids.
Yes. Just yes. I’m a 56 yo female (although, to the outside world, I’m about 12 😂) and I can sooo relate to so much here. It is amazing how much clarity comes with the realization of an ASD diagnosis. For me it was like the scene in the Wizard of Oz where everything goes from b & w to color. My memories became crystal clear and I felt like I’d finally found a home. Thank you for this!
PS everyone in this video is beautiful but I gotta say, I’ve got a major crush on the first person who was talking about non-traumatized Autism. 😍🤗😊
The third girl describes my experience at school with such precision that its uncanny, I also only learned what "masking" is recently, as an adult, and Im just realizing the tremendous effect it had in my life