Why I read secular romance as a Christian
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- Опубликовано: 11 сен 2024
- Hi friends. Today I wanted to have a discussion about why I read secular romance as a Christian single woman. I hope my heart came across in this video.
I'd be curious to hear you thoughts and opinions on this!
Video mentioned: • Romance books that are...
• Reading Contemporary R...
Books mentioned:
Happiness for Beginners by Katherine Center
The Cheat Sheet by Sarah Adams
Powerless by Lauren Roberts
The Good Sister by Sally Hepworth
The Friends Zone by Sariah Wilson
Falling for your Enemy by Emma St. Clair
The First Taste by Annah Conwell
How to Kiss your Best Friend by Jenny Proctor
Memory Lane by Becky Wade
Can't Help Falling by Courtney Walsh
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My Favourite Christian Romance of ALL TIME: • ❤️️My Favourite Christ...
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-Oceana (pronounced O-Sheena)
I’ve had these same types of comments sister. Great video discussion! ❤ I think our opinions are so important on secular books still because they’re being read and people need to know about the content in books from our perspective if we are comfortable trying new secular books. There are also hidden gems out there in the secular market! I’m glad I don’t just read CF either. All the clean romance authors are secular and there are so many great ones!! Plus, since we read both, someone may find Christian books they want to read and be ministered too as well! Thank you for making this video!
Love this❤❤❤thanks Amanda!
I love that both of you read all kinds of clean books. I love that you both pay attention to the spirit. I personally have gone back to mostly reading cf but you are right I wish there were books either more depth. I am going to try Powerless soon.
Such an important response, sweet friend, and so well articulated!! As someone who has been brought on a sanctification journey in this area, my threshold for spice has drastically changed and shifted in the last year. I read secular romance (really secular fiction in general) because 1. EXACTLY what you said about us being a trusted resource to find out what content is in books. That's been a big goal of mine in my channel coming back is being detailed and straightforward with content ratings. 2. Because regardless of the genre or publishing house it comes from, ALL truth and beauty is GOD'S truth and beauty. There is no good, right, and true message apart from Him. Therefore any book regardless of the authors intentions or faith, if there is a reflection of a good, true, and beautiful romance then that reflection is of our deepest human desire for unconditional love, friendship, and intimacy with Jesus. Lastly, I read them because there are LOTS of clean authors (some of them even Christians) in the secular space and their giftings and talents deserve to be supported!! ALSO, our dollar matters! So if no one is reading clean fiction, it gives publishers all the more reason to nix clean fiction altogether and that leaves only stories riddled with sin and romanticizing lust for people who aren't Christians to read which only sends them down a path of continued destruction. I'd much rather continue to support the authors out there intentionally writing clean(or cleaner) fiction in prayer that someone who is lost picks up that book too and is enamored and is spurred on to seek Jesus. We are a story making people. It's literally in our DNA as humans. Good stories are good stories, ya know?
Yes girl!!! All of this 🙌🏻
The way you are so passionate!! Thank you for sharing😍💕🫶🏼
Thanks for your honesty in this video! Many years ago I was into spicy romances but unfortunately it lead me down a path of reading books that were more and more graphic and I had become comfortable with sin so now I try my hardest to avoid them
Same here thanks for your honesty! Really trying to get into Christian romance, but sometimes it gets way too cheesy bd I can’t finish the book
Great, very thoughtful video!! I'm of a very similar mindset to what you said at the end. If I'm reading a book and I feel personally convicted by it, that means the Holy Spirit is telling me it's not for me! Everyone has a different life experience and different personal boundaries. God knows each person's struggles and boundaries, so just because a book convicts one person, that doesn't necessarily mean it will convict their neighbor. Very well said Oceana!! ❤️
thanks Tabitha💛
Love this conversation and completely agree. We always take the content we consume to the Lord and allow Him to lead us. Many secular authors may not be believers but can keep the unnecessary intimate details out. Some secular authors are believers but write in the secular market to reach the masses. Many unbelievers steer away from CF because they don't want to be preached at, which is just as an inaccurate assumption as Christians assuming all secular is evil and sinful, but if it's not marketed as CF they may read it and get those themes to get the door open. You never know what and how the Lord can work
You said it right👏🏼👏🏼
Love this and love that you are responding to that person’s comment in a respectful way. This is informative and helps people understand your viewpoint without bashing anyone or coming off in a harsh way. If only more people could respond this way and act like adults. Anyway, great video as always Oceana!🩷 This video says a lot about you as a person and is exactly the kind of content I want and need to consume.
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🥹 thanks Lauren!
Yes I truly appreciated that. My comment was just for discussion and thought provoking.
Love your thoughts here! I’m a 50-something grandma… & I really used to only read like Beverly Lewis or Karen Kingsbury. And I kind of found myself in a rut & really wanting to broaden my reading. And like you, now I honestly prefer to read ‘non-Christian’ fiction. I follow RUclipsrs like yourself that I trust their reviews/recommendations & I have read SO many good books that I may never have come across if I had limited myself!
Love to hear this!
Love this, Oceana and I completely agree! I too am a single Christian woman, and I personally believe that because we are all created in God’s image He works in and through all forms of story, not only Christian fiction (obviously with the exception of things that are wrong or dishonoring to Him!)
Seeing as we are creative because The Creator gave us that creativity I think sometimes God actually speaks truth through the words of secular authors who may or may not actually be believers, and they may not even realize what they’ve included but God works between the lines, love that! I’ve definitely felt God speak to my heart through secular books and movies, and while I for sure have lines that I will not cross (no open door scenes for me) I’m careful about what I read and do my research beforehand so I know if I can trust that a book is closed door or I know what chapters to skip, but I plan to continue reading a mix of secular and Christian fiction!
we're the same Caitlin! thanks for sharing :) ps, I know a lot of Caitlins and I mess up the spelling for them often so I'm sorry if that is not how you spell your name!
Great video Oceana! Thanks for covering this topic. I don't read a lot of romance, but I do read lots of mysteries. I have a similar point of view in regards to those. I do read Christian mystery and suspense, but I also read lots of secular. There are lots of Christian authors I enjoy, but sometimes secular books are deeper or better written. I also like to find the secular books that are not including content I don't like such as graphic sex, violence or lots of language. And there are some. I agree, it is so important to listen to the Holy Spirit in regards to what we read. Thanks again for this thoughtful video. Your heart totally came through!
I agree a lot with what you’re saying here! I am also not a huge fan of historical romance, and so while I’m trying to get into more Christian romance books it’s harder to find when not wanting those books.
I love being able to help others with all kinds of genres of books
For me, I grew up reading secular only before I got rebaptized last year. I pray over my secular books, see if I get any convictions from the Holy Spirit, talk to my partner if he’s comfortable with me reading certain books, and if a books or any from of secular media affect me like lead to me sin or affect my relationship with God, I drop it. I will skip stuff that I’m not personally comfortable with like smut or graphic content or skim if there’s dirty jokes and cuss words. More importantly, I balance my secular books with Christian books and the Bible daily reading. It took me over a year to know what not to read and what I should read and how to balance secular with my Christian books. I also researched what scenes I should skip in my secular books like I’m reading the ACTOR series and loving it but had to look which chapters to skip that has smut scenes.
Everyone journey with content is different than the other, like each of our journey with God is different and all I recommend is put it in Gods hands. Also, read what you are comfortable with and what you know is best with your relationship with God.
I Love hearing the people I look up too, like you Oceana and Amanda, speak on this. As you guys have, including my partner, and God has changed what I read and my life. I also agree with your stance too! 😊
Love this friend!😭♥️
🥰😘🩷 THANK YOU FOR SHARING!!!
Love this!! I think that is the biggest thing is being in tune with the Spirit and being able to DNF if necessary! ❤
I read some secular fiction as well for similar reasons. I personally don't do spice in my books either. I don't want to read it or have it in my mind. I am probably stricter with spice than with language however. I can skip over the words as long as they don't take the Lord's name in vain. That is a quick DNF. The Lord challenged me over this several years ago and totally transformed my reading tastes and tendencies.
I have noticed more and more book tubers are taking about closed door romances and they are not even religious , or faith based. And Yes you make sense 💌
Loved this Oceana! I feel the same way. Just being able to invite God into it and being able to listen to Him with what we should or should not read- I think it makes a huge difference! And that can also look so different for so many people with their convictions and past. Over the years I’ve definitely fluctuated with certain levels of content and I think that’s life! We will all have seasons of higher thresholds for things and then lower in other seasons! Love your heart and what you share!
Love this Baylie! Thank you for sharing!
Thanks for sharing. As I am of a secular background, spice isn't a problem. However, I am starting to like the clean and sweet romance because I found the plot usually go south once that sexual tension frizzle out.
I'm glad you're here!
Well thought out response. I appreciate the way you talk about content. Your channel is definitely a good resource for book recs.
I’m married and a mother and I still feel personally convicted not to read spice! I have referenced your videos in the past (and still do ☺️) to see if books are clean or not! Your response was so well communicated 🩷
I totally agree with your thoughts. When it’s too much, it’s okay to move on. And if it’s not too much it’s a new author to look out for and support what they’re doing. Let clean romance be popular by supporting those books and authors ❤❤❤❤ so thoughtfully said
Kasey West writes cute romance novels. They're YA, but refreshingly clean and wholesome.
I just read Stay with me by Becky Wade after you recommended it and I loved it. Thank you for your thoughtful reviews of books.
I really appreciate you giving details about the content in the romance books you have read! I am curious what your thoughts are about the fact that romance books & movies can often give women an unrealistic view of relationships and/or marriage? Some books are more realistic, but sometimes I worry that women can develop ideas about "the perfect man" and hold that as an ideal and judge the men they date or are married to against these fictional men and it can be bad for their real relationships. Love your channel and appreciate your opinion on all of these things, as a sister in Christ! 🥰
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I recommend an author called Teri Wilson. She writes for Harlequin and also stand-alone traditional romcom novels. Other than some very early Harlequins, they’re all clean as far as I know. I’ve read a handful of the clean ones and they’re always so adorably sweet.
The first ones I read were a series called Lovestruck Vermont, which is in the Harlequin line of books. It’s a cute little small town romance. Completely clean. Just kisses. Each book covers a woman falling for one of the town firefighters.
I also read a stand-alone called The Accidental Beauty Queen which is a traditional stand-alone rom com kind of book about twin women who trade places in a beauty pageant. If I remember right there was an implied scene in that one but closed door.
And then she does have some Christian series with Harlequin. I’ve read one of those books and quite enjoyed it, called Alaskan Hearts. I haven’t continued that series but I probably will.
Overall her writing is very sweet and adorable. She tends to have cute dogs in her stories. So if you’re looking for clean secular, she’s one of my go-tos. Just skip her older series (I think one was called Drake Diamonds). She did include spice back then. I tried reading one and it was too much for me.
thank you for this!
Great video!!! I like secular books too, but I don't want to walk into them blindly, so I watch booktube friends reviews and goodreads reviews before picking them up usually.
The way you handled this topic with so much grace 👏🏻 Honestly, this helped me a lot! I’ve grown a lot in my faith recently and have felt convicted about the romance books I’ve been reading. I stopped in chapter 1 of the most recent book I picked up and have been trying to navigate what is ok and not ok to read since then.
Good for you! It's an interesting thing to navigate because it feels like it shouldn't affect us so much, but I find that it really does.
Also really appreciate authors or reviewers giving details on heat level so I’m not blindsided by junk I don’t want to read.
Thanks for sharing!
I really appreciate you letting us know about content in books.
My Dear Friend although we have such a different perspective because I am not a woman I use a different language I live in a different culture I completely understand yours 😀 and thank you for your efforts 🥰
You explained that so well!! I hardly read any Christian fiction before booktube and I am so grateful for having new options and great stories about faith, but some of my favorite books and authors are secular. Katherine Center is one of those! I always appreciate how you share about this topic!! 🥰
I appreciate your thoughts here. Lately I’ve been sticking mostly Christian fiction because I want to avoid certain content. However, you’ve made me see in some cases I might be missing out in finding a new favourite author or genre. 🙏😊
Leah Brunner’s books are good! Thanks for the recommendations 😊
Such an insightful video, Oceana, and I completely agree with all your points. Your videos and reviews have been so helpful to me as I navigate what books I’m comfortable reading/what content I feel convicted by. I’m so happy you’re here in this space and I hope you keep doing what you’re doing! ❤
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Hi girl!
Always love your videos. I also read non Christian fiction… and my experience has been that a lot of Christian romance novels are very graphic too. There are gems out there that are secular.
I reach for secular contemporary romance for two reasons:
1 you have recommended a book or author
2 I want to find a book that I could recommend to you
For me, historical romances are also great 😀
Great discussion and I completely agree! I appreciate your descriptions without spoilers!!
I have been watching your channel for a few weeks now and I think you did a great job with this video and explanation. I have found that the older I get the less I feel the need to read or have an interest in reading about what happens behind closed doors. I can use my imagination if I need too. What is interesting to me is that I love Christian romantic suspense, I find the story is better, and moves along very well without having sex scenes-almost as if the author needs to find different and better things to describe in their stories. Also, I was not sure if you or your viewers were aware, but Harlequin publishes a line of books monthly called Heartwarming. These are wonderful stories of family, community, real life happenings, in a huge range of topics/romance. They are all clean "heartwarming" stories. I love this particular line from this publisher. Mary Anne Wilson, Anna J Stewart, Anna Grace have some wonderful stories worth reading from that line.
Love this! Thanks for sharing ☺️
I so appreciate your videos and the content of books that you read! I think God is using you to help others who want to read great books but books that are also in line with what he says is clean. I have found new authors in the secular and Christian markets because of all of the hard work you put in for your viewers! Thank you for using your convictions and listening to the Holy Spirit as you continue this RUclips journey! God Bless
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Huge respect for you sister! thank you for what you do!! 😊❤
Thank you for this video! I just came across your video and I am definitely subscribing as I didn't know there were Christian booktubers! I really like romance but as a Christian I know I shouldn't be reading spicy ones. You're reccs are useful! Also I love that you mentioned Sarah Adams as I read When In Rome and LOVED it and I noticed the language stuff re swearing and was interested in that portrayal of none/not much swearing.
thank you for being here and I'm glad you found this helpful.💛
I appreciate this and you so much and wholeheartedly agree! 💛
Thank you for the video and your perspective on cf versus secular and your kind response. I believe you may be referring to my discussion question from the previous video. I was hoping I did not come across as negative. I do try to read only cf but I don’t read as many books as some and I do know there is definitely not as many options for sure. I struggle with this on tv series sometimes where the show is good but content is not great and knowing when to be done and overide your initial want to keep watching. I appreciated your comment about some cf authors going toward writing books with less faith content but they are still clean. Although I was a little bit disappointed with some content (not the romance part) from Memory Lane and not necessarily the less faith content aspect. Anyway appreciate the chance for discussion and reading others thoughts and hearing yours.
thanks so much for asking and sharing here as well. It's an important discussion that we don't need to be afraid of :)
I definitely follow you to get your opinion on books. I’ve read many good books due to your recommendations.👏🏻🙂 thank you
I love romance but never read it because of the spice level. I don’t like historical fiction and thought all Christian fiction was amish settings so I didn’t want to read that either. It’s because of you I have found clean romance and contemporary Christian fiction. Thank you!
I appreciate your videos so much! Yours and Amanda's videos are the first places I look for closed door book recommendations. 😊
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I need more romcoms. Personally I like Becky Wade and Melissa Ferguson and want to read more Courtney Walsh.
Really really appreciate you and your heart 🩷
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God has gifted so many people with a creative minds , that have just not discovered where the gift has came from. It’s a beautiful way to celebrate their gift. We can also use it as a prayer opportunity. Reading a non Christian books gives us a chance to pray for an author who we may never thought of to pray for. I can’t say I do it every time. But there have been times when I finish a book and like man this could have been great if this that or that was there. And will pray that God reveals Himself to that author. They’re also Christian authors who don’t feel lead to write “Christian” fiction, but to be a Christian author. So they’re offering people alternative ways to read clean books. I also saw someone make a comment recently they don’t read Christian romance bc we shouldn’t be looking for fairy tale relationship and that God is who we should be tracking . And there’s truth to that, but most people read to have fun nothing deeper. And in that fun there can be books that create life changes and that’s great. I think we can make it to deep. And I’ve struggled with reading outside of the Christian books. For me it’s more of I’m sensitive to cursing and sexual it’s just not my cup of tea. My go to tv shows are like boy meets world. Hahah it’s just a personality thing. And so those books tend to put me in book slumps. But I keep trying bc the stories are often so different and much more honest it seems. And most of all like you said , you know His voice. We all have different avenues to what our lines are and that’s totally okay. I love videos like this that allow everyone to be raw and honest. But no matter what keep trusting your relationship with Jesus and keep shining your beautiful light! We can be grateful for both,be prayerful for both, and seek truth in both. As long as we stay honest with ourselves so we can be honest before God, it all works for His glory.
Love this, thank you for sharing Tabitha🫶🏼💛
I really needed this video. Thanks.
Love this & that you share all these authors! I think it’s important to not shut out options just bc they’re not overtly Christian while also maintaining standards that honor God 🫶🏻 I also used to read regular romance books that definitely don’t fit that, and had no idea what other options were out there, so I appreciate you being open & sharing this bc it really does need to be talked about more!
Yes! You are sooo right, the majority of Christian Fiction oozes cheese and just plain bad writing. It’s the Christianese culture. Christian writers stick to Christian Fiction when learning how to write, and the effect is like an overbred dog breed - the stories are full of cringe-worthy issues, predominantly in the Historical and Western sub genre, which unfortunately, is what I like to read a lot of the time. :/ So I do browse secular to find good authors who will write clean and sweet with mild language, and it’s hard to find them. I appreciate channels like yours. Keep up the great work, and thanks for the recommendations. ❤
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Thank you so much for the author recommendations! I definitely wrote them all down. Do you have a fantasy romance list as well?
I’d love to make a fantasy version! I’m working on it 😉
Can you do clean historical romance that’s are actual good writing
I need to see if my library has Sally Hepworth.
You're looking beautiful today!❤️
Thank you!
I understand your perspective, I don't think the issue is secular, I think people just wonder if you have just read a part in a book that is explicit(especially sexual content), why continue reading? I personally can't see or understand how you don't feel a conviction from the Holy Spirit, if you are a Christian channel. I understand a baby Christian if they are new to their faith, but if you've been living a life for God for a while I don't know how you've pushed past all these secular content in books. Don't get me wrong, I am not saying I don't believe you looool I do, I wouldn't be subscribed if I didn't, I am just surprised that's all.
I totally get it. I have these thoughts about Christians reading secular fiction as well. I believe that the Holy Spirit meets us where we are at. He is the master of patient sanctification. If I am committed to seeking him every day, I know that the desires of my heart will match his and there will be things I naturally want to cut out of my life. Right now, I don't sense that he is saying to cut out secular romance. I read them with a strict filter for myself. My filter is going to be different from someone else's. I am reserving the right to change my mind and make mistakes as I figure out what is right for me.
I appreciate you sharing your thoughts in a clear and kind way!
Oceana, what are your thoughts on Emily Henry? Have you ever tried reading a book from her? I hear only great things about her books on the secular part of book tube, and I heard there is barely any spice, but I also heard there is a least one bedroom scene, and I don’t read those type of books…
I have read Beach Read...I plan to make a video all about the popular romance books and authors I have read from/dnf'd. Beach Read was very spicy in my opinion. Her writing was great though, so it was hard to give her up.
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Also....Mesu Andrew's Is amazing.
TBH I hate that some secular books are just simply better than the Christian ones. Not even books. Any kind of “art.” And maybe hate is a strong word. It just makes me sad because I just feel like Christian artists, writers, creators, etc should be making things with excellence and we should be able to call it “good”. As a reflection of our Creator. 😅 but maybe that’s not fair. I don’t know. 😆 just a thought I’ve had for a while …
I also wonder about fantasy......so much magic, mythology, wizards, telepathy etc.....Im struggling
That’s a genre I am still exploring
I used to read open door romance and started feeling guilty with them. And I don't want to feel guilty or hurt God. But I read Katherine Center's The Bodyguard and I feel like she is ok except the language. I don't like God's name in vain and the f word.
What do you think about Emily Henry?
Beach Read showed up in my Little Free Library and I've been wondering if I should give it a chance. The premise with the writers switching genres does intrigue me a little. 📚
I have read Beach Read...I plan to make a video all about the popular romance books and authors I have read from/dnf'd. Beach Read was very spicy in my opinion
@@OceanaGottaReadEmAll thanks. I thought her Booklovers was alright but not the greatest. If I remember right it had one sex scene. I think I at try Savannah Scott and more Courtney Walsh.
@@OceanaGottaReadEmAll It seems like most books from Wal-Mart have spice in them now.
@@OceanaGottaReadEmAll I read 80 pgs of Beach Read this morning. I'm hoping it goes into a lot of detail about the books they're writing for "the bet"
Was Beach Read one of the DNFs???
Have you read Karen Kingsbury ? Great. Christian romance author.
Thank spoiler free comtent
I love this, Oceana 🫶🏼 contemporary and/or secular romance is not a genre I’m into reading as much but I’m grateful for people like you who do and are honest about the content in those books because it is needed. I know I have a place that I can trust if I’m interested in a book but not sure about the content. So thank you 🤍
I definitely do read a lot of secular books …. But if there’s a detailed s@x scene I skip it as soon as I notice it 🤍🤍 I just read it to enjoy their story/romance 🤍🤍✝️