We all don't have to agree on everything (i would argue a few different points than you do) but it's extremely weird to see multiple men critiquing your video in strange ways. Nitpicking, complaining, telling you how to make your video instead of debating the content. I don't see this nearly as often on videos that men make. It's exhausting to read as a viewer, and I can't imagine how it feels as a creator. You're doing great. Hang in there.
Good advice. When you were talking about writing out everything a character likes/ reacts it reminded me of hearing about Tolkien and how he had absolutely crazy worldbuilding that he spent many years developing long before he put LOTR to paper
Thank you so much! It definitely helps but you don't want to get too bogged down in world building and forget to write the book lol. So always find your limit and remember not to get too caught up in it :)
Thank you! These are wonderful points to consider. I have self published and illustrated children's books, and have self published poetry but also aspire to write novels. I love the encouragement! The piece about character development really resonates with me.
The biggest issue I see is not finishing the story gracefully. Great beginnings, often decent middles, and inconclusive or weak endings. That and, loads of telling, style inconsistencies (folks, learn CMOS please), and unrealistic dialogue. But yeah, the biggest issue I see is a big storytelling stumble at the end.
Do you know what agents are looking for right now and NOT wanting right now? I think it helps to know what’s selling so I can wait to query if needed. Trends are a bit unpredictable but are helpful to be aware of so rejection is easier.
Thank you! Showing and not telling definitely takes some practice, it's something I even struggle with in my own writing. But having someone point it out always helps!
Possibly. Start your re-writing by cutting and tightening. This leaves room for further development and can spark ideas. My suggestion: condense before expanding. Several cycles.
A great exercise for “show not tell” is to play with chat (AI). When you tell him to write a scene where a character is excited about buying a new book, he will literally write that the character (let's call him Sean) was excited because he bought a new book. But if you make him write the situation without using those words or synonyms, just describe what his excitement was about and why, chances are he'll write well. “Sean squeezed the book tightly, as if he was afraid, he would let it out of his hands. He walked quickly, and his heart was beating hard, not just from fatigue. 'Finally,' he thought, 'I've waited so long for this book to come out! I can't wait to learn more about the fate of the characters. He smiled at the thought of the pleasure of reading that awaited him.” That's “show, not tell.” :) But, but, Sean meets a colleague who asks him why he's so happy. At this point Sean can, and should, say, “I'm excited because I bought a new book.”
I would encourage you to use AI chatbots as little as possible for the sake of the environment. Just a single user submitting 20-30 queries uses up 500ml of fresh water just to keep the servers cool, that isn't even touching on the massive amount of power they take. Now multiply that by billions of users, each with dozens upon dozens of prompts and questions every single hour. The data farms cause double the amount of carbon emissions per year than a person does.
@@frizzyrascal1493 Not really, it's a question of magnitude. The central IEA estimate for one hour of streaming video in 2019 36g of CO2 is emitted (so about 804g per 24 hours). An hour of RUclips videos is about 28g CO2 (~672g per 24 hours). Now compare that with chatgpt where each message you send to produces about 4.32 grams of CO2. ChatGPT received 10 million queries per day during launch week in November 2022 (and WAY more people use it now, an estimate of 50 million unique users per day) it uses a minimum of 30,000 GPUs so around 43,200kg CO2 is being emitted daily from ONE CHATBOT SITE! And that's not even touching on the water needed to keep all that equipment cool. It's a nightmare. Obviously with those numbers Streaming and RUclips are huge problems for the environment and we need to take action, but AI needs to be trained and is generating new content, not delivering pre-made content. And then there's the ethical questions because it's also trained on stolen work.
@@frizzyrascal1493 Apparently YT didn't like me naming specific companies/sites/orgs because it deleted my comment. Ugh! What I was trying to say was that of course YT and streaming make huge impacts on the environment and we need to take action but the ai chatbots require FAR more power and water consumption because it needs to be trained (on stolen work), it needs to store the info, run computations, generate new data, store that new data so it can be re-used to generate more new data, AND both power and cool the equipment and estimated 30,000 gpus required to run each site vs the streaming of pre-existing content that only needs to be stored, fetched, and displayed. One hour of streaming video in 2019 generated about 36g of CO2 vs the leading chatbot producing approximately 4.32 grams of CO2 per query. An estimated 50 million unique users are using that specific ai chat per day and they are making a bare minimum of 10 queries per user, per day. And there are now dozens upon dozens of these sites now. The magnitude of the damage from AI is far greater.
@ We can run this equation for nearly everything. There are deeper fish to fry than AI. As long as India, China and the US keep their emissions so high, all of this won’t matter. The 50 million daily AI users won’t make the difference.
This is the third video I've seen in as many weeks with a woman giving writing advice and being critiqued in ways I don't notice being applied to men who make similar videos. And the ones who don't open with their credentials get questioned about them in the comments, too. Nothing wrong with constructive criticism, but I hope you're applying it across the board.
@zanzaboonda most definitely. It's something that is applicable to all people, it's basically applying the same thing they would apply with a book. Don't start with info dumping, start with why we're here.
Unbroken I’ve walked to and from I’ve walked with and without And I’ve walked with you It’s just a curiosity on a morning walk Today I am alone but I’m thinking of you And how you would be taken at the oddity Of this ornament, broken by the side of the road Laying on its side, bulb cracked, wires exposed The fence post lamp has been knocked down, undone Most trivial - unimportant And most would just walk on by But you And I think of all the questions you have And the hows and the whys And all the plans defined and formulated To unmain, to heal, to rectify You are not here, still you’re with me And I carry your wonderings And your plans, and your awe Your abandon to that simple moment I’ve walked to and from I’ve walked with and without Today I walk alone With your hand in mine And in every step, I feel your heart And in a broken lamp, your shining light How much of you Has unbroken me
You should put your “About Me” in a channel video to reference. It is amateurish to put it in every video. I also recommend scripting your video to make sure your example lands and not rambling.
It's "not the be all and end all". That makes me slightly reluctant to hire you as an editor. It's difficult to think and talk while making a video, I know. Perhaps hire an editor for your videos...might improve them.
We all don't have to agree on everything (i would argue a few different points than you do) but it's extremely weird to see multiple men critiquing your video in strange ways. Nitpicking, complaining, telling you how to make your video instead of debating the content. I don't see this nearly as often on videos that men make. It's exhausting to read as a viewer, and I can't imagine how it feels as a creator. You're doing great. Hang in there.
Good advice. When you were talking about writing out everything a character likes/ reacts it reminded me of hearing about Tolkien and how he had absolutely crazy worldbuilding that he spent many years developing long before he put LOTR to paper
Thank you so much! It definitely helps but you don't want to get too bogged down in world building and forget to write the book lol. So always find your limit and remember not to get too caught up in it :)
@@shaunasbookjournal ain't that the truth!
Thank you! These are wonderful points to consider. I have self published and illustrated children's books, and have self published poetry but also aspire to write novels. I love the encouragement! The piece about character development really resonates with me.
Alright, now I can follow these advices and start writing my new chapter 😤🔥❤
Thank you from Egypt
Thanks for this! I am struggling to revitalize my current books and improve moving forward. Very helpful!
Very happy to have discovered your channel. I write romance and am also a developmental editor. Subscribed.
The biggest issue I see is not finishing the story gracefully. Great beginnings, often decent middles, and inconclusive or weak endings.
That and, loads of telling, style inconsistencies (folks, learn CMOS please), and unrealistic dialogue. But yeah, the biggest issue I see is a big storytelling stumble at the end.
@@t0dd000 that is definitely up there too! The ending needs to be just as strong as the beginning!
Thank you for the great info!’n
Every time i hear the word, "Caveat" i imagine someone eating canned catfood with a fork...
Fish eggs ...😊
And now I will as well. Lol
That's weird. For some reason that word makes me picture golf divets sometimes.
Thanks for the “Save the Cat” - will borrow from library!
very helpful thank you Shauna. Are you able to do an episode on publishing vs self-publishing and how to succeed in both?
@@Jm-uh7wg I was already planning that video! Thank you so much for the suggestion!
Do you know what agents are looking for right now and NOT wanting right now? I think it helps to know what’s selling so I can wait to query if needed. Trends are a bit unpredictable but are helpful to be aware of so rejection is easier.
Excellent advice. I love descrptive writing and im always doing my best to show not tell.
Thank you! Showing and not telling definitely takes some practice, it's something I even struggle with in my own writing. But having someone point it out always helps!
Nice insights, and gentle explanations/tips to go with them :)
Thank you so much!
Keep going 🎉🎉. This is definitely your thing. ❤❤❤
Thank You! 👍💥
This is so helpful!
@@shainaghuraya2940 thank you I’m glad it helped 😍😍
My debut grimdark fantasy novel is 65,000 words in total (At least in its first draft iteration). I am worried if this is too short or not.
Possibly. Start your re-writing by cutting and tightening. This leaves room for further development and can spark ideas. My suggestion: condense before expanding. Several cycles.
@@jefftitterington7600 I want to start doing a second draft very soon
Regarding word counts - what it is the minimum and maximum word count for an erotica novel? Thanks
A great exercise for “show not tell” is to play with chat (AI). When you tell him to write a scene where a character is excited about buying a new book, he will literally write that the character (let's call him Sean) was excited because he bought a new book. But if you make him write the situation without using those words or synonyms, just describe what his excitement was about and why, chances are he'll write well. “Sean squeezed the book tightly, as if he was afraid, he would let it out of his hands. He walked quickly, and his heart was beating hard, not just from fatigue. 'Finally,' he thought, 'I've waited so long for this book to come out! I can't wait to learn more about the fate of the characters. He smiled at the thought of the pleasure of reading that awaited him.” That's “show, not tell.” :) But, but, Sean meets a colleague who asks him why he's so happy. At this point Sean can, and should, say, “I'm excited because I bought a new book.”
I would encourage you to use AI chatbots as little as possible for the sake of the environment. Just a single user submitting 20-30 queries uses up 500ml of fresh water just to keep the servers cool, that isn't even touching on the massive amount of power they take. Now multiply that by billions of users, each with dozens upon dozens of prompts and questions every single hour. The data farms cause double the amount of carbon emissions per year than a person does.
Billions of users aren’t using it at the same time. Using youtube or anything else that demands resources can be condemned in the same way.
@@frizzyrascal1493 Not really, it's a question of magnitude. The central IEA estimate for one hour of streaming video in 2019 36g of CO2 is emitted (so about 804g per 24 hours). An hour of RUclips videos is about 28g CO2 (~672g per 24 hours). Now compare that with chatgpt where each message you send to produces about 4.32 grams of CO2. ChatGPT received 10 million queries per day during launch week in November 2022 (and WAY more people use it now, an estimate of 50 million unique users per day) it uses a minimum of 30,000 GPUs so around 43,200kg CO2 is being emitted daily from ONE CHATBOT SITE!
And that's not even touching on the water needed to keep all that equipment cool. It's a nightmare. Obviously with those numbers Streaming and RUclips are huge problems for the environment and we need to take action, but AI needs to be trained and is generating new content, not delivering pre-made content. And then there's the ethical questions because it's also trained on stolen work.
@@frizzyrascal1493 Apparently YT didn't like me naming specific companies/sites/orgs because it deleted my comment. Ugh! What I was trying to say was that of course YT and streaming make huge impacts on the environment and we need to take action but the ai chatbots require FAR more power and water consumption because it needs to be trained (on stolen work), it needs to store the info, run computations, generate new data, store that new data so it can be re-used to generate more new data, AND both power and cool the equipment and estimated 30,000 gpus required to run each site vs the streaming of pre-existing content that only needs to be stored, fetched, and displayed.
One hour of streaming video in 2019 generated about 36g of CO2 vs the leading chatbot producing approximately 4.32 grams of CO2 per query. An estimated 50 million unique users are using that specific ai chat per day and they are making a bare minimum of 10 queries per user, per day. And there are now dozens upon dozens of these sites now. The magnitude of the damage from AI is far greater.
@ We can run this equation for nearly everything. There are deeper fish to fry than AI. As long as India, China and the US keep their emissions so high, all of this won’t matter. The 50 million daily AI users won’t make the difference.
New subscriber! :D
Yay! Glad you're here 😄
Liked the video. As a tip, start with why we are here and introduce later. The real video starts at 2.00
This is the third video I've seen in as many weeks with a woman giving writing advice and being critiqued in ways I don't notice being applied to men who make similar videos. And the ones who don't open with their credentials get questioned about them in the comments, too. Nothing wrong with constructive criticism, but I hope you're applying it across the board.
@zanzaboonda most definitely. It's something that is applicable to all people, it's basically applying the same thing they would apply with a book. Don't start with info dumping, start with why we're here.
Unbroken
I’ve walked to and from
I’ve walked with and without
And I’ve walked with you
It’s just a curiosity on a morning walk
Today I am alone but I’m thinking of you
And how you would be taken at the oddity
Of this ornament, broken by the side of the road
Laying on its side, bulb cracked, wires exposed
The fence post lamp has been knocked down, undone
Most trivial - unimportant
And most would just walk on by
But you
And I think of all the questions you have
And the hows and the whys
And all the plans defined and formulated
To unmain, to heal, to rectify
You are not here, still you’re with me
And I carry your wonderings
And your plans, and your awe
Your abandon to that simple moment
I’ve walked to and from
I’ve walked with and without
Today I walk alone
With your hand in mine
And in every step, I feel your heart
And in a broken lamp, your shining light
How much of you
Has unbroken me
You should put your “About Me” in a channel video to reference. It is amateurish to put it in every video. I also recommend scripting your video to make sure your example lands and not rambling.
Nothing new.
Saying indef articl as 'ay' instead of 'a' as in Ago Alive Anew - is the most sickening thing ever.
It's "not the be all and end all". That makes me slightly reluctant to hire you as an editor. It's difficult to think and talk while making a video, I know.
Perhaps hire an editor for your videos...might improve them.
You record a video. Not film it.