Reveal Her 'Red Flags' By Asking These TWO Questions
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- Опубликовано: 16 ноя 2021
- Here's two more red flags that are important for men to consider when dating, and vetting for relationship material...
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In my divorce I initiated the divorce and when we went to get a divorce using a mediator he listed her as requesting the divorce because it was custom.
@@johnpollard744 🤣🤣🤣 wtf
I asked a girl who i wanted to start dating and have a serious relationship with how many men she slept with and she was not too happy and called me disrespectful!!?!? Any thoughts??
You’re making this more difficult than necessary. To find the right woman simply ask, Beatles or Stones? Works every time. Stones girls love to have fun, so have some and walk away. Beatles girls are more reserved and reflective, presenting themselves to the world in a stoic manner. They’re long term relationship material, not marriage unless that’s the goal. And finally, if she can’t name the four Beatles I walk away. Either too young, uninformed or both. Been doing it for 40 yrs and never failed me or my brother. Love the channel, regards.
number 1 goal in a relationship -> PEACE!!! if SHE can't give you peace, she can't give you anything. period...
This
Peace should be a given, having a goal for a relationship can be a limiting outlook.
My husband was my first boyfriend. I made him talk to my father before I would date him. Three months later my father married us. Fifteen year anniversary coming up. Two wonderful kids. I'm Asian, and this is common in my province.
Nice. which country in Asia are you from?
You “made” him? You sound like real “marriage”material..
If by "made him" she means "put up the condition to have sex with him that he would talk to her father, in order to estabilish commitment", there's nothing wrong with that.
She probably wanted a Chad (or rather a Chang, the asian Chad) and wanted to open her legs for him, but had the ability to delay gratification until Chang was willing to stay. Again, nothing wrong with that. Most women would just go through many Changs and Chads, and settle for an average guy 15 years later.... possibly with a kid from one of the Chads.
One unicorn doesn't make a field of fillies.
You are an exception to the rule. Exceptions are very few and far between. Full accolades to you and your husband for keeping tradition and respect and making it work.
Overlooking "Red Flags" is closely tied to a scarcity mindset. I dated a BPD who eventually manufactured a housing crisis to which I responded by suggesting she move in. She kept a lid on the crazy when we were dating but couldn't contain it once in my house. Took me months to get her out (crazy jealousy issues). In hindsight I remembered my spidey senses tingling on a number of red flags that should have warranted a "next". My scarcity mindset invited her into my life. Post script, she constantly accused me of cheating. Once she left I found her login to dating sites and part of her username was "honest". True story.
And I bet she was crazy in bed to go along with the crazy in the head.
My last long term was BPD, that shit is no joke. No thanks
Mine didn't manage to keep a lid on it long enough before I dumped her. Long enough for me to allow her to plant a seed the minds of just about everyone that she was Miss Wonderful and I was crazy for shit canning her.
BPD? Bro, you literally dodge a missile! That would've driven you to an early grave
I dated her evil twin sister that had NPD 🤨😒.
@@davescott9062 histrionic personalities are "fun" too!
Another red flag which I don’t think Rich has mentioned is that when you meet a a single woman and all her friends (her close friends) are all single as well. If you meet an attractive girl and her girlfriends are all decent looking or attractive 7’s 8’s 9’s and 10’s but they all are constantly single-- there’s a huge problem right there. RED FLAG.
Excellent observation. Her single friends are generally a bad influence on the relationship, giving terrible advice to her about how you should be behaving and what she should demand. Often, the single girlfriends are secretly jealous of the one in their circle that gets a relationship, so they are actually trying to sabotage.
Among the single ladies are some angry and mean women.
Don't discuss 9's and 10's because they are not in reach for most men and you rarely see these kind of women in public.
You can say the same about men. It's pretty obvious that single people are friends with other single people and married people are friends with other married people.
Not true. I respectfully disagree.
Yep. This is from experience: if on your first date she is telling you all about her terrible ex, let her finish and then ask this: "What do you think your part in the break-up was?"
And just watch her reaction. When I did this once she was most offended that I'd ask such an intrusive and aggressive question.
How she reacts will tell you all you need to know.
They never hold themselves accountable and never learn from their mistakes
Watch what happens when you ask whether they have any hobbies. Holy shit.
My ex wife cheated on me, so I'd be hard pressed to answer what my part I played in her infidelity. This plays into the unmet needs fallacy pushed by "live your best life girl" crowd. Based on personal experience, I think that women cheat at a higher rate then men, and this is buttressed by recent research. It plays into the monkey branching.
So, if I was on a date, I would be very suspicious if she answered, "We grew apart". More likely, "I had an affair and my husband found out, my AP dumped me to save his ass, and now I'm on the market again".
@@cyrilaugustin299 Look for a video here on RUclips by a channel called "Colttaine" in his video collection there's a video called "The Cheating Algorithm" I'd post a link to the RUclips video but I'm 99.99999% sure that this comment will be either shadow banned or deleted if I do so. I'd recommend his channel to anyone trying to understand the "Matrix" of lies men have been fed since birth. I'll also post the link as a separate comment in the event it doesn't get removed. FWIW, your intuition is 100% correct.
@@cyrilaugustin299 "A woman's word is her bond," said no one ever. The only thing that stops modern women from cheating is lack of opportunity.
Literally 15 minutes ago, a woman on a dating app told me that I ain't shit and not a real man and a dumb shit... Because she was pregnant (And had other kids). And I, Very Politely told her that looking for a man while pregnant is not only asking a man to look after another man's children but also kind of saying that she wants to date but sex is on hold.
And that most men who know their value won't do it. And that she can find some men but they won't be her first choices.
And she lost it.
Lol why are you trying to counsel strangers on dating apps? And why would pregnancy cause sex be on hold???
@@l-train7876 - Cause I felt like it. And I wouldn't have sex with a pregnant woman.
How fun. I love it when they Lose it. First thing out of them is "You're not a real man."
@@RJay121 - The interesting thing was that I wasn't trying to be mean to her, just to explain. Oh, the mouth on her once she heard it.
@@jeremiaha5167 Make your statement and then block her. You know the explosion is coming but if she doesn't get it out she'll implode.
I always got a good feeling when the relationships was going bad, and learned to leave. Women give clues on if they want to be with you or not before they actually tell you. Some will never tell you and turn your life into hell so you finally understand it is time. Don’t allow her to take you through hell, observe and anticipate. There will always be another girl.
As soon as I notice those flags i jump ahead and always end the relationship before the SHTF
Yes Kemosabe.
But why does there "always" *have* to be another girl?
@@gregorysagegreene If you meet the wrong person, then, do not worry, there are always other women. That’s how you should understand the context of my comment. Of course, if you meet the right person, you will remain together, but that’s as obvious as I’d say.
Words of wisdom right there. Thank you :)
Typical red head
I like to say when vetting a woman for a possible relationship just shut up and let her talk. Don't offer up any kind of judgments on what she's saying so that she doesn't throw her guard up. Just shut up and let her tell her story. Chatty Cathy will tell you everything about her that you want to know.
Never underestimate the power of silence. People need to fill silence with something (talking can be the something).
So true. Many women have been an open book with me. Even some I never dated.
so true!!!
True
Do this to me and all Im going to do is talk about football, Manchester United falling apart and my love for Roy Keane. I did this to a male co worker recently who was interested in me and all he had to say is "Who are you?" laughing. It was quite funny. I look like my favorite sport is shopping. 😁😁😁
"I try to give you guys the best tools as possible so that you're not inviting train wrecks into your life" great quote Rick, and thank you the for the valuable tools you give us guys.
It's Rich, not Rick, probably a typo.
But yeah
@@davescott9062 Thanks for the correction Dave!
When people start to get chummy I like to call them by the wrong name to let them know I don’t care. - Ron Swanson.
Yes Yoda,
but Confucius say
"those who want to not invite trainwrecks need only avoid tracks."
wholesome
It wasn't until I was over 30 that I started questioning the whole "my ex was abusive" narrative. Understand that women instinctively try to trigger your Captain-Save-A-Hoe programming with this line, and you need to pry with a lot of questions about what made him abusive. In my experience, most of the time its something stupid that wasn't abusive at all. One woman told me her ex-husband was abusive and when I asked why, all she could come up with was that he would complain that she used too much hot water.
100 percent
fast forward after a bunch of these types of incidences and I'm now the bad guy for always saying if there's no police report she made it all up
Oh wow 🤣 that girl was toxic af
Girls don't realize emotional abuse is also abuse. If every one of this one girls ex's or if every one of these many girls ex's were abusive, I can't help but wonder *who* brough them to that point
right. a girl I dated complained her ex was cheating on her, atleast she suspected it. she left, but remain friends with him. why friends after that, doesn't add up
My brother's ex claimed he was abusive. "Why?" "He won't let me have a cat." He was allergic to them and she didn't like them anyway. It was the worst she could come up with to get gf pity.
I know someone with the same story!
@@killahcrax5890 They'll dig as deep as needed to find an excuse for attention.They can't be outdone by GF in how bad each has it. "So what if your husband is a druggie/drunk/cheater? My husband doesn't want cats!!" Pathetic.
@@finallyfriday. the problem is that the girlfriends never say " girl that ain't nothing you have a good man stay with him". They always encourage their BS
@@idontcare9797 Yeah, it's always "That's horrible! You poor dear! You should leave him. You deserve better." And suddenly "poof" a good relationship dies and the chattering hits warp speed.
Red and green flags sounds like a good book. Like the "reversals" Robert Greene does in his books to show how the opposite can be sourced for a green flag and the like.
Book name ??
@@mandeeppatel450 48 Laws of Power
Yep.. Robert is a class on any topic he picks 👌👌
That's a book I need to read. I first saw how huge it was and that scared the heck out of me, lol.
@@Uzodesign I've got and Audible version. Definitely can recommend it 💪 I'm not used to reading big books like that, so audible versions make things a lot easier. Also "The Unplugged Alpha" audible version is Really Good!
At 41 I finally feel like I recovered from a marriage mistake that took from 21-31 to go to shit. There weren’t resources, or a platform to find them, like there are now.
I’m learning more now and plan the second half of life to be more peaceful and powerful than the first. Thanks for talking this topic up.
Girl with Purple Hair, Run fast!!!
Your books and advice have helped me immensely. I filed for divorce beginning of this year and as of nov 16 it’s over. Got full custody of my son. Happy single father ready to live life.
Congratulations 🎊
Women emotionally leave before they physically leave and most men dont see those signs.
Men do the same.
@@SHE3e23 no, men F around and don't leave but have girls xyz because girl A doesn't meet all his needs. Real men just say it how it is w no need to lie or cheat. We don't pull back our feelings we either just bounce or we say I'm out and then do what we want.
Yes because we hunt to survive
Men see it- they are trying to decide if it's just a phase.
When she talks about her exes, she is trying to posthumously justify her actions within them and have you agree/submit to them and reinforce her decision; abandon ship.
two "red flag questions"
1 - 1:10 when she speaks poorly of her exes, and multiple of them, all of the time
2 - 1:40 who was the leavor/leavee (women statistically file for divorce 80-85% of the time)
odds are the woman is the common denominator in the answers to these questions 😲
Yes her past relationships is key question, and whether she has good relationship with her dad AND mom is other key question
Thanks for the time stamps bro
@@acj288 no problem, glad to be a bit of help
ask her how she feels about her farther or men relatives - if she hates her dad it may be best to step away from the relationship before you become her next farther figure .
so, the conclusion is; entrepreneur in cars says """"all women are bad"""" and he comes out as GAYYYY????
That’s right gents get to know these women down to the most uncomfortable subjects that most don’t want to bring up in a relationship : their childhood, attention from parents growing up, her past boyfriends or ‘male friends’, spending habits. Anything that may seem uncomfortable to ask, ask it. This weeds out the dirt from the gems and will almost guarantee you satisfying relationship.
Correct. Find out how they grew up, because at some point, they will move to 'restore normal.' If 'normal' was chaotic and dysfunctional, well, there you go.
Never ask about exes
@@peregrimus It all depends what you really you want for yourself involving a woman. Again, don't shy away from asking uncomfortable topics when you want to be in a LTR or thinking about taking the relationship deeper. Asking about her notch count should be done in the beginning in a subtle way. Asking her notch count can tell you her values on relationships and how serious and sincere her intentions with you. You don't want to find out after you have invested valuable time, effort, and money that you are just another cock who waited in a long line only to be discarded so she can have the next one in line.
@@HiddenHandMedia disagree. maybe how many exes she had.
@@peregrimus if you don't want to know and cannot handle (most of males cannot) what is the biggest willie she handled, how many orgasms she had with her ex, was she grilled in a threesom or maybe some bukake action- DON'T ASK! My friend almost ruined his marriege by insisting that there are no sex secrets between him and his wife- and than he heard that she was with 3 guys at once. It took him quite a while to recover
My dad told me if you ever really want to know a woman….it’s either with money….or taking a trip together….you will know her true intentions !
Expand a bit more
@@Daniel-ke1bn Bro money is obvious…is her behavior dependent on how much you spend for her? Or is she genuinely into you? Does she show genuine desire to be with you?
When you take a trip you see her behavior, her likes and dislikes, how she treats other, her idea of fun? is she a crazy party girl or someone you want to introduce to your family?
All those factors become clear !
@@Son-of-Krypton not always man. My recent ex had a lot of great characteristics. Stable family. Parents are happily married for 45 years. She always paid her half when we went out. Took a couple of vacations with her and they were 100% drama free.
But there is always a catch.
10 months in she informed me she was bi polar. But, didn’t think she was. It was downhill from there.
@@rockbasskicker YOU are the problem for not spotting it right away. Your small head thinking for your big head. Translation: BETA. Guys, Shiraz is correct
@@snowiepuppy5453 Not sure a bipolar on meds can be spotted. Isnt it when they forget the meds that havoc ensues?
Best advice I have had given to me... "When a woman tells you who she is... believe her."
Always!!!!! If she tells you, who she really is. Don't try playing captain saves a hoe. Just run for your life. RUN.
One thing I did with a women who felt trapped by her current relationship is ask her: if you were him with his mind and I were to ask him what problems he sees in you, what would he say?
The thing is, it’s always good if she has the capacity for being able to articulate what her shortcomings are. If she doesn’t have this, it’s not worth it.
A few things I've learned in my 49 years:
1. I have yet to meet a female that takes any accountability for past failed relationships. Not one
2. Unbalanced females (mentallly/emotionally) will gladly volunteer how bad their childhood was. The more they rip their parents, the bigger the red flag
3. 6 months is the typical line of demarcation. Depending on how much time you spend with them, this is about how long they can keep it on the rails. Show affection but dont catch deep feelings in this time. Emotions cloud observation and reason
not having a good family life growing up is a big red flag for me
This is the best advice on this video.
I disagree on the 6 months demarcation line. It is actually about 3 months (3 moon cycles). It's biologically determined. The time frame needed to get pregnant. After that the neurological chemistry wears off. 84 days (3 moon cycles, again) is also about the time she starts to shit test you. The shit test is to find out if you would make a good beta provider for her that she can control. Pass the test and you're in for a bad ride. Fail the test and the relationship is on borrowed time. Know where you're dealing with.
@@paulvandriel2344 perfect
@@paulvandriel2344 i agree. its about 3 months. coincidently, its about 3 months when one lives in another country and the "honeymoon phase" wears off, making one susceptible to home sickness. (after the initial culture shock).
I see so many flags in my relationship that I feel like I’m living in a communist state 😂
Are you dating Australia?
Are you married, or have kids with her? If not, move on my brother.
@@Pfsif Hahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Man... I'm trying to win back a women who is a 30year old single mother who ghosted me. You think it's not bad here too.
@@maxpaws3977 there's plenty of fish in the ocean. Why show yourself as a needy beta? Work on yourself and the fish will come to you.
Love it when the videos are from his car, always precise, concise, and info packed helpful videos
Yeah. I like Rich, but don't have time to watch most of his stuff these days.
Great stuff, Rich. I have found that by really listening (and likely ignoring the signals from the 'little brain'), we learn all we need to know from what women tell us. Sometimes, it is also things they NEVER discuss. If you hear about this woman's mom all the time, but never her father, that can be a MAJOR issue, especially if she has had had several prior relationships with 'abusive men'.
Women ALWAYS expect us to take FULL responsibility for every facet of our lives, yet owning up to their issues is a rare thing.
The Red Flag is when she talks about exes. End of discussion there
Don't you want to know who she was with in the past? If someone had like 10 relationships already or she just came out of a toxic relationship, now that's important to know if you ask me
@@felsgamer I wanna know if there s genuine desire and if she talks about exes that s not the case. Chicks that dont live in the present are not worth my time. Even if you ask about exes, she ll most likely lie. I can find out her past without acting as her therapist.
@@PlanurileMele wise remark.
@@PlanurileMele you should never be her therapist, it almost identifies a weakness you possess - a desire to want to fix people, a watered down version of captain saveahoe
My ex done for good, if she talks u know that she has unsorted feelings
I have had several women bring up their therapists on the first date. If you're taking heavy duty psychiatric medications and your best friend is your therapist, I'm not giving you a second date.
Last I heard, 43% of women over 50 are on anti- depressants. I've yet to hear anyone talk about how anti-depressants kill a person's libido. That ain't fun to deal with; they're spring - loaded to the "OFF" position.
@@petermendelsohn4944 "women over 50"
down bad
1st dates, whew. I was out one day with my mom to lunch at a Mexican Restaurant that has outdoor seating this past spring. We were sitting outside next to a table that was an obvious first date. This girl looked like she was hung over and wearing the clothes she had on the night before. The guy looked mid 30's and was presentable for a lunch date, especially considering he was riding a motorcycle (we were still there when they left). This girl was a red flag mill. My mom and I were looking at each other like, "this guy needs to RUUUUNNNNN". It was, drug addiction this, brother's in jail that, Daddy issues over there. I was hearing a resounding "DING" in my head every time she spoke, as to represent another red flag popping up. It was almost sad near the end. Then, I was reminded of a previous 1st date I had gone on that was similar but not as bad. There's a lot of them out there guys, be wary, be diligent and be careful!
Haha, my ex wife of 25 years. Was seeing three therapists a week.
It never helped, because she refused to talk about anything sexual.
@@billpetersen298 it's up to the guy to plant that idea she won't get it herself, so the man's gotta step it up in every sense, but that's difficult when she doesn't deserve that when she can't act right and the laws prevent anyone from making her act right when she shows no personal responsibility
When my brother first met his future ex-wife, her friends had told him to be nice to her and to treat her with respect, as she had been through several failed relationships. A few months into the relationship, I realized why her boyfriends were dumping her! My brother was going to spend a semester abroad and every time it was brought up, she would burst out in tears. As time went by, I realized that she was desperately trying to tie him down by moving in together, getting herself pregnant, having him marry her (all in a matter of 26 months). Eventually, I realized why she would start crying at the very beginning: not because she was sad to be separated from him, but because she felt she was losing her power grip over him. That should have been a red flag!
That's NPD
Narcissist
No-one can get themselves pregnant. It takes a sperm and an egg. That's what condoms are for.
Yes, complaining about multiple "abusive exes" is one of the biggest red flags to me, along with her revealing that she has mental health issues or she's depressed and sad all the time. If you become a big part of her life, that negative energy WILL be pointed at you eventually.
True story!
I’d love to see a dedicated green flags video/video series. One that covers both obvious green flags as well as some less obvious ones.
Ha. I remember this one first date where the girl ranted on for an hour about her ex after I mentioned a venue I used to work at. Never experienced that amount of vitriol come out of a girl before. I quietly finished my lunch and bailed, I couldn't believe she thought that would be an attractive topic to talk about on a first date
What Rich is saying is so, so, so true. The last women I dated was always taking crap about her two ex husbands, but never saying anything about herself and how some of their problems may have been her fault.
Smh, double divorcee? You have a red flag 🚩 lol. Instantly disqualified. I'm guessing she was still remotely pretty.
@brolysadvocate Betty White was twice divorced when she met Allen Ludden. She just picked the wrong men. Then again, she really had to be wooed by Allen to marry her.
@@EMichaelBall i think we're all pretty sure Betty white was a vampire. Legend has it she didn't even die, she just retired from the public, like Jeffrey epstein. Just kidding, individual results may vary is a prevalent factor in all things.
The ‘green flags’ video is a great idea. PLEASE do it!
Very very true the more you let people talk the more they’ll give themselves away without even knowing ESPECIALLY women
I had an ex, who constantly throughout the relationship referenced her ex. It was so daunting. Also she always say how he would still try to contact her, just make me feel like I was the luckiest guy on earth, When I eventually ended the relationship, guess who is contacting who year later to this day. It's great to feel free and independent, and not needy and desperate.
I had this happen to me but with a guy that was showing me interest. Our very first conversation he talked nonstop and I just listened to what he was actually saying. Everything was his ex’s fault and he took no blame on his relationship failures.
When I asked him directly, what role did he play, he told me none, it was all their fault. That was a big red flag to me. I told him you may not have been the one who completely ruined the relationships, but you enabled something in these relationships.
I also asked him what steps has he taken to get over these relationships. He said he meditates. Another red flag for me. He didn’t do anything to learn from his past mistakes, therapy, life coach, RUclips university along with the meditation.
Also he takes meds for hypertension and doesn’t try to exercise or get off those meds, Which is another big red flag, and was eating Wendy’s everyday, my spider senses tell me he looking for a care giver.
I flat out told him, I not getting with someone who doesn’t put their health as a top priority and as a big part of self care and hasn’t done the work on themselves. I’m not expecting anything from a man that I’m not expecting from myself. I’ve worked very hard on myself and I expect my potential partner to have done the same.
Fair enough... you deserve better!
The talk nonstop part is a bit of a red flag. On a date, I think you should learn about each other, not just one party selling themselves. Better luck next time!
@@caucasianafrican1435thank you!
@@AceFreehleyI agree it definitely is. I never went on a date with him, because of this. I see him quite frequently because we have the same friends. He still was trying to move things forward for awhile and even has tried to ask me on dates. All of which I have declined.
I have also respectfully told him I’m not interested in him in that way and he is still smitten over me. I haven’t lead him on and he’s still holding on to hope that I’ll give him a chance. He knows I’m not looking his way at all. Every so often I have to remind him that I’m not interested in dating him.
And what was your role in this interest interaction?
So true. I married a narcissist, and her father at some point accused me of being the source of the problems in our marriage. He didn't say that based on his personal observations, he didn't get to see any of it, but rather the things she was telling him. Like most parents he wanted to believe the best of his children due to his immense family pride. Of course she had told me early on that her ex's were bad men, and she was just a victim. Yeah, right. I foolishly ignored a lot of red flags not realizing how serious they were at the time.
One piece of advice that I've heard from people and I think it would be quite valuable is to talk to a person who you're considering ex's if you can.
Blame is a red flag for all people. It shows a complete lack of self awareness and accountability. Put distance between yourself and anyone else that demonstrates a behavior of blame.
I just saved a friend from a long distance relationship and IM SO GLAD
he is my bestfriend and in conversation he told me about a girl he met
long story short
one day she said she was not feeling good so she did not text him all day
next day she said she was talking with her mother and friends all day and did not even text him goodnight
I said she is cheating and you need to confront her and the odd behavior and inconsistent stories
he did and she blocked him on everything
Currently stuck in a dead end relationship with a woman who definitely had daddy issues, it took me too long to realise that she always saw the worse in me, always assumed the worst intentions in everything I said or did.
Such a freeing feeling escaping from a situation like yours. Do it sooner rather than later!
When a woman implies that you are doing something wrong without any proof or hint whatsoever, she is just portraying indirectly what she does behind your back, so be very careful my mate. No cap, their guilt will always find a way to come out and every time I've been falsely accused of or distrusted for possible cheating, the girl was the one cheating.
If women bring up their exes in conversations with you, it's a red flag.
Yup told my older brother that
I don't think this is always the case. She might just be verbalizing behaviors she won't tolerate.
@@IvySnowFillyVideos then she should do it in first person, without mentioning ex
@@gfxmaniac I only mentioned one scenario. There's many others. One might also mention if there's a safety concern.
If the ex is somehow involved in current life...its a subject that's bound to come up.
Some men are secure with knowing about previous relationships. Some men don't want to hear about it. Either way I think its insightful to know how a man reacts.
The question about their culpability is fantastic. I asked that question once and she have never even considered they notion she had something to do with her husband cheating.
The whole part in this video where he starts talking about asking the woman about her parents is spot on. My ex told me all about her horrible relationship with her mother, and then I witnessed it. 21 years later if marriage and alot of parts of it hell, she wants a divorce. Brothers, she did me the biggest favor, six months out I'm getting my self esteem back and my life. It turns out she has borderline personality disorder, wish I had heeded the red flags! SMFH
Amazing, that was how I use to screen women. Today I'm single with no kids and 1 vasectomy..... and happy !!!
"If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it's probably a duck" 🤣
You're giving amazing advice. Asking what she learned from previous experiences is a great move, since most people tend to just complain and blame the counterpart for everything. The way she reacts to this question will make you understand if she's one of those people or not.
Other than asking questions outright another great way to tell what type of woman you are dealing with is to pay attention to how and what she talks to her friends about when socializing, especially on the phone. This will often reveal much more than directs questions.
I think everyone shit talks their ex's. I've done it, I've heard lots of guys do it.
Also, everyone has family issues, everyone. No one gets out without being hurt somehow.
With that said, I agree with the part about ownership.
My last woman was always the victim and it got turned on me pretty quickly.
I also ignored some things I shouldn't have and made some major mistakes.
The victim mentality is the worst. Girls who have that mentality are energy vampires and draining to be around
Agreed
You're only right insofar as there's a spectrum. The tolerance should always correlate to the severity of the problem. Fatherlessness is an absolute problem, no tolerance for that should be allowed.
Nailed it.
Solipsism also prevents her from revealing culpability.
My ex-girlfriend. Failed relationship after failed relationship, marriage lasted less than a year: Always the guy's fault. Never heard her once take ownership for anything. Enormous red flag
The best source of inside information about a woman is a report from her ex, unfortunately this never happens because the woman makes the new man believe that he is 'different' and 'better' than the ex so the new man thinks he has nothing to learn from her ex's.
Really like to know the green flags. I was married for 31 yrs. She passed in Nov 2019.
I had one with daddy, mommy, AND grandma issues.
Hahahaha
@evans.neilr How was that like?
Thanks Rich! Getting back into dating after getting out of a bad marriage, and I need to get your book!
I used to just put of with anything, but from now on, any time I drive away the wrong woman, I’m going to count it as a win.
I have always thought that a man that is considering getting with a woman should track down her ex who left her, and speak to him about why he left her. It would never happen because men don't want to think about his snowflake being with other men, but it would save a lot of heartache. I was with a woman who had a tag line for every significant man that she had been with i.e. Craig was lazy, Bill was a lair, Jim couldn't talk. I came to find that she had these tags for all her men. And that made me realise that when I left her, which I did, that she would have a tag line for me as well, Neal he couldn't commit.
Lol it sounds nice but he won’t be 100% honest or prob wasn’t even sure why she was unhappy.
I met a woman who used an alias on her Facebook. Claimed she was hiding from a former boyfriend.
Absolutely. I’m at least half at fault. I ignored red flags. I didn’t marry at or above. I rescued. So far I’m cured, but I’ve lived most of my life now. I wasted my best years. I have possibilities but basically the herd gets thinner from both my selective learning and what’s out there. Thanks for the validation though.
Female perspective, this is 100% accurate and great advice for men.
As another woman, I agree
Agreed. Two solid points:
-how did I contribute to the end?
-what did I learn and how can I grow/develop?
Sometimes it's a legit mis-match and it's healthy to let go(move on). Jobs and dating included on that.
Also importantly:
-what did I enjoy in the relationship? (Not being a taker)
Not just in dating :)
I appreciate your honesty
@@brianaustin2135 While it's admirable, it needs to be the standard out of principality...
@@thetavibes9021 Good luck. You say principle to a modern woman and the only thing that comes to their mind is someone that runs a school. If you act the same way alone as you do when there are people around. That should be the standard for the vast majority, if we want a functional society and/or family.
I'm new but I do enjoy the things you have to say and I'm all in board. I think if girl is really just listens to what is being said here rather than getting so offended by everything they might actually learn something.
My ex stated her previous boyfriend just got out the car, stated it's over & then just went in his house ,& never spoke to her again.
When I first heard this I thought: what a arse he was.
Now looking back, it was because he couldn't reason with her. she was stern, bossy & arsey. I realized months later that this was a smart move on his part. I binned her off too lol.
Just to be clear: who is the plaintiff (the one who files) in the divorce is NOT an indicator of who was the dumper and who was the dumpee in the emotional relationship. The former is a legal decision and the latter is the more relevant emotional one.
Now that I (newer sub) am adjusted to your style, I love how you present the material on your channel. Somehow I have morphed into your mind set over some difficult decades with women. It makes me realize that the better I have become as a man and a person, the less actual high quality women there are out there, yet I am content letting them come to me or just being highly selective. I am closer each day to being "unplugged".
Always meet the family. Crazy is usually inherited or nurtured. Observe the mother, father and siblings. Also investigate the extended family at least once.
I’ve always thought that if a hot chick has a pattern of getting dumped, that’s a HUGE red flag, it’s just a question of how long she can hide it.
Another Flag: If she brags about how she got back at an ex for doing her wrong ( keying his car,burning his clothes,etc.)
Oh god you'd have to run if you heard that
Oh my gosh, yes! Run! Woman or man telling that story, I'd start edging away. Wouldn't want to associate with that kind of toxicity
These videos are really helpful! I didnt know some of these red flags from your various videos and could have really used them earlier but always got a bad feeling in my gut only to find out she was sleeping w her "terrible" ex husband after telling me she wasnt lying and it was her " complete and honest truth". We have to stay ever vigilant. It is a dangerous game
Be leery of women who constantly claims that one or more of her exes were abusive. I’ve dated many women who don’t have a nice thing to say about any of their exes. Often times SHE leaves the man because he either cheated or was “abusive” in XYZ ways. If every ex is abusive, controlling, manipulative or a cheater, then she’s either gaslighting or her decision making in life is piss poor. Either way, get to stepping.
If i talk to a woman who speaks much about ex relationships, i just delete from my life, no time to waste with this type of people, living in the past...
They are called alpha widows.
Rich always dropping jewels! Thank you for all you do for us guys!
The classic cheater abusive etc etc. I was called all the same things, told friends family, court, her friends all this. Meanwhile it was her doing all of those things and me not reacting
A video on green flags would be appreciated
Yup I vetted her. Ruled her out. Another one will come along ANY YEAR NOW.
Pm min
N NBb
Right on Rich!!
Part of being a good person is understanding what went wrong ,that is how you grow. I try to understand how men think so I can communicate properly. I don’t want to become bitter like some women I know . I just would like it to be a positive experience.
The best strategy is to become close friends, first. Have great, if not effortless, conversations, then see if you two can agree on kids, handling in laws, spending, and life goals/compatibility. If you can comfortably and naturally reach agreement, then go physical. That’ll substantially increase the chances of a good relationship; substantially.
I knew this girl from my late teens, a blond petite hottie. she was steady with another guy back then, but I do recall her sweet talking me on occasion or giving me the eye. She briefly broke up with the guy at one point and began hanging around me for about a week, but thet got back together. flash forwad 35 years and I bumped into her while shopping for groceries on christmas eve. We had a chat about what we were both up to and agreed to meet up later after the holidays. We met later things becoming fairly serious. Early on she told me that the guy she was steady with 35 years ago was jealous of me which seemed odd for her to say. As time passed, there were behaviours which lets say, were off putting, like getting angry over minor things (minor to me at least). She would talk shit about her father and her sister at times. The mood swings were becoming more frequent to the point that I had to measure everything I said so as not to get her upset. It was like dealing with more than one personality (sweet and ragey). I should've called it off at that point but for some idiotic reason, I thought it would get better. anyway after a little over a year, I got my shit together and called it off. She would call me or text me a couple times a month, but I threw cold water on trying things again. A part of me feels bad about it, but a bigger part of me knows that I dodged a 50 cal bullet.
Sounds like my ex.
Noticing red flags is one thing. Actually listening to them is a totally different thing. Too many men (myself included) avoid breaking up with toxic women because "she is hot". Learn to have an abundance mindset and move on.
I have a hunch that with most modern American/Western women the red flags far outnumber the green flags.
Would love to hear about green flags man
If she's richer than you and it doesn't bother her.
@@Pfsif that's an oxymoron
@K9amilo90 Not always, but it’s extremely rare.
I’m a woman and WOW TOTALLY AGREE WITH THIS!
This is one thing Rollo doesn’t hit on(in his first book), the women you need to avoid. Well worth the buy,The Unplugged Alpha.
Those points are very good. It goes toward figuring out if the woman is an alpha widow. Here is the thing. Women will cheat on you if ex alpha comes back into the picture. Ask the woman who left in what you suspect is the alpha relationship. If he left, move on or her keep as a spinning plate and no more.
Green flags would be a good one. So many channels just about what not to look for, red flags etc. Very few have much on what to look for. Definitely still need to know what not to look for.
A video on Green Flags would be great. Thanks for what you do.
Stupid me got back with my X of 28 years ago after she chased me up again, this was our 3rd time back together as we first dated when we were 16 n 15, I fell head over heels for her again. The first Red Flag she showed when I asked her about her previous LTR was saying that the reason she treated all the men she was with badly was due to me dumping her on 2 different occasions, that I wrecked her ability to have a decent LTR with any man. Yes I know I should have run for hills as soon as she said those words. But here I was hoping 3rd time around would be better, how wrong I was she had turned into a Narcissistic toxic ASF person, and stupid me disregarded the numerous red flags she portrayed. In the end I actually thought I was losing my mind, that it was all my fault she was so bitter and treated me so badly. When I asked her about her previous LTR and who left who she would reply I can't remember which is another red flag, and total BS as women always remember who ended the LTR. To say love is blinding is an understatement to say the least.
Never again will I let another women treat me so badly, as they say the only way to learn is by your mistakes n dam I really learnt the hard way this time round.
Dude! You are FAR too old to have such little control of your emotional response, as it relates to the female of the species...NEVER give an unfamiliar woman the power to HURT you...or make you miserable. Be and comport yourself as a MAN!!!!
Go forth, King...and RULE wisely and prudently over your domain! Godspeed.
100 percent red flag when a girl talks about their ex. I had a girl that not only talked about her ex, but would bring up their anniversary and birthday on a date! See ya
How about the big book of green flags? With an appendix of red flags, revised.
Rich, totally spot on as I know from bitter experience. My Rule for Red Flags now is, If you see a woman do something that 9 out of 10 women simply would not do, watch out.
I like the idea of green flags. Like you said, you could write multiple books on red flags and we could be here all day circle jerking until we are all ready to just give up. I think its better to focus on the positive. Ask questions that could be tailored to see which part of the spectrum she goes down. Does she go into a negative diatribe? Or does she take ownership and focus on the positives. Getting out of negative energy loops I think helps us naturally attract the better quality women and I think we should focus on that. That is what this channel is all about if I am not mistaken. I think women are in a similar boat. In reality only 2% of the male population would ever consider even thinking about talking to a really hot girl. So most men don't (scarcity mindset from not focusing on being your best). So the really hot girls only deal with 2% of the male population. Really hot girls are usually the most lonely because they are only surrounded by the absolute jerks that don't care and run them into the ground and break them mentally. Then you come along and try your hand and she throws a mountain of red flags at you because of this terrible cycle. So fixing us and making us the best possible we can be so that more men can catch these women before they get put through the grinder would absolutely increase success for all and not just for some, possibly getting us as a species out of this vicious cycle of negativity and vitriol that I believe was created to get us into this position in the first place. Certainly reduces pair bonding and creating new families and makes you easier to control through divide and conquer methods.
You are absolutely wrong about women being talked to by 2%, it's a complete myth... it's just the other 98% she screeches "CREEP!!!" for doing and saying exactly what Chad does and says. Albeit maybe not as suave, but that just proves their superficiality.
Is my answer a red flag? When my current partner asked why my ex-husband divorced me, I said we were not a good couple, and had no business getting married. I explained that I wanted to stay married and work on things, but he wanted to be single and date around and enjoy life. I did everything I could for a year, went to trade school and got a job, stopped any bad habits he hated, lost weight and got fit, it wasn’t too much honestly, but he was already done and there was no undoing his decision, so it ended after 8 years. That sucked ass not going to sugar coat it, we just didn’t work together at all but that was a lot of time together just for it to be over and I hated that part the most lol. We COULD have our in the effort but the will wasn’t there with both of us so it ended.
Red flag? Bad news? My partner raised an eyebrow but I think I showed him all of that was true at this point, I take relationships seriously and want them to be as long term as possible, it’s always salvageable and worthy it as long as both people both want it to be. That’s why my partner and I work so much better, we both feel that way (his ex-wife left him because she said she was young and made a mistake and wanted to live her own life)
I don't think that's a red flag, as long as it's the truth and not a trickle truth
ive been morphing into you before i even found your channel....content creator here..red pill AF, love your content
I was dating a girl and on each date she talked about her Ex and that they were great friends and that I would meet him some time and we would get along great!!! Lol
I ghosted her and she asked about another date, I replied that I couldn’t bare to spend another second with a woman who constantly talks about her ex.
She said me a ‘ life story long message’ he made me the man I am today ‘
I simply disappeared.
Can’t believe it took me 10 dates to figure that out
Rich, there are only two possible answers you'll hear to the "And what role did you play in the demise of that relationship?" question (and remember, women refuse any accountability):
1) "I loved him too much."
2) "I was fine. He was the a*sh*le!"
What do you think of this though? I was watching another video that mention her exes by "Darius M" (I think) and he said that when a woman keeps talking about her ex, even putting him down, but keeps bringing him up in conversations with you, that's who she really wants to be, um… shall we say, "visiting" at night? What think ye? :-)
Btw, if you ever feel like driving a very recent ex (that really is done with the relationship) totally insane with zero effort, here's how: You know how after the breakup, about half the time the woman will call you (or maybe she runs into you) and at some point she will ask you (and this is really why she called); "So, are you seeing anyone yet?"
Beta guys will take that as; "Wow! She's hoping I don't have another girlfriend yet because she wants me back!"… and while that is possible, it's rare and remember I said this is about cases where she really is done with the two of you. And so if the man knows she's done, he'll be confused by this, wondering why she would even care?
Well buddy, you're right! She doesn't care! So why does she ask? Simple. It's not because she cares if you get a new girlfriend. It's because (and 99.9% of men don't know this about women) she cares if you get into a new relationship BEFORE HER! And that's because she can't paint you as the loser she dumped because you were weighing her down, if you're walking around with your arm around a new hottie (especially if she hotter than her) before she has anyone, because she knows that her friends probably won't buy her story and will gossip about her behind her back.
But anyway, she's asking because she doesn't know and if you refuse to tell her, it'll just eat her up inside and drive her insane, because she won't know how to proceed ("Can I tell folks he's a loser? Or do I have to do damage control because he got someone before me?"). So whatever tricks or pleading she tries, do NOT give in! Just remember WHY she wants to know! To calculate the best way to make you look like a loser! Just tell her; "Well, our relationship is over and so I don't see how that's any of your business." She'll try different ways, including saying you don't have anyone, to get at your ego. Just stick to your guns and tell her you already told her why you won't. It's none of her business. She's not asking you as a "concerned friend". There's only one reason they ask that. :-)
Oh and I did order your book yesterday, Rich. Thanks!
This is genius!
Thanks to you and all other men warning us, much respect
Gold right here!
@@ericberryman6735 Thanks! .
Yes, I'd love to hear about more green flags. Looking forward to your 2nd book.
I got a couple questions to check for a red flag which is probably in the book.
Ask her what she thinks about Donald Trump when he was President and would she choose him over Biden in hindsight?
Good advice and if you ask her what role she played in the last breakup and what did she learn from that last relationship etc.. it also shows her that you're not naive , have a good frame and not afraid to ask questions and speak up. It's very important to show strength and intelligence but you also have to mean it and be able to leave her if you see toxicity.
A woman will tell you your future if you can keep your mouth closed and actually listen. When she's talking about exes, just take their name and swap it for you and there's your future.
Great info for sure!
Stone ridge my guy I love your channel
"If she's talking bad about her ex's all the time, guess what? You're next." - Wisdom distilled
She’s harboured way too much contempt towards everyone & made me the toilet! Negative behaviour is so damaging!