I cant be the only one to listen to Karl pilkington stuff with my eyes closed trying to go sleep, can I? I love the banter 😂 I must have listened to his RUclips stuff every night for 3 year , even the same ones more than once 😂😂
“It is three different people hassling him about a fire that didn’t happen, about a wife that didn’t exist and a cat that didn’t look happy”. Karl Pilkington
The Mrs Battersby story is especially mental because a) Karl had to picture how old he would look in a photo to remember how old he was at the time, rather than simply remembering how old he was when his brother got married; and b) because he couldn't remember Mrs Battersby because he didn't think she was a ghost at the time, so he completely forgot *despite being told she was a ghost the very next morning*
18:27 why does it just go to the next bit? Karl Is about to say “never mind your beard, where’ve you been for three days?!” Followed by an amazing Ricky bursting laugh.
I always thought it was weird when Ricky and Steve made such a big deal of Karls dad asking at what time the neighbor died when told. That's like *THE* thing you do. It's a normal question.
Oh boy, Yvette Fielding and the hilarious Most Haunted mob certainly missed a trick, a series featuring Ricky, Steve and Karl would be dynamite. I can picture the night vision shots now!
7:30 Karl's story about the vampire is something that happened in Romania where superstition is still strong. Josh Gates investigated it, the "vampire" was just a guy who had a disease where the gums recede and sensitivity to sunlight. In some cases, the vampires were just infected with rabies or something. There are people who live as vampires, but Karl has very selective focus, making hilarious results.
Extremely late reply but there's also a condition called porphyria, which gives agonising symptoms that can be temporarily relieved by drinking other 'normal' peoples blood
“It must be a massive pain having a tiny tankard in a pub” is genuinely one of the funniest most under rated lines in all of these convos with the 3 of them 😂😂😂😂😂
Karl has to be one of the very funniest men walking this planet. You could make a case for about 100 of his many stories and one liners being his funniest but the man-hole cover one is something else. He is grade A comedy gold and it’s just completely effortless.
When he was in Petra and explained why he would rather live in a cave see Petra rather than wake up in Petra and see a cave; I knew he was a sage. He's Diogenes of Synope reborn.
Burying people alive was an issue at some point in the past, they used to sell safety coffins for the well off. It had a rope system linked up to a bell that they could ring if they were buried alive.
The Pub Karl is talking about during the Derek Acorah segment is the 'Dirty Bottles' in Alnwick, Northumberland. The 'curse' is on the bottles, which have now been sealed between glass. I remember hearing this story a long time before this podcast was originally broadcast!!
The fire in the oven story kills me every time. That has to be one of my top 5 favorite bizarre things KP said. The oven fire cat, the "parrot's blood" story, the Loch Ness monster, the Owlheaded armadillo, the retired space monkey. Anything having to do with animals is KP gold.
I don’t know how anyone can sleep with this on. Even if I do switch off from the conversation I’m guaranteed to be woke up by Ricky laughing. More to the point, I wonder what kind of subconscious damage this is doing listening to Karl’s theories whilst asleep?
The manhole cover is actually true it just passed in front of several cameras during an atomic bomb test and calculations were done proving it was the fastest man made object. Of Course Karl got a lot of details incorrect.
If Derek Acorah was still alive he and Karl could have done a TV ghost show together I would have watched it (Karl sounds like a believer his stories are great.)😂
All joking aside, my mum saw a ghost when she was young in her bedroom of an old man standing in the corner The next day, her mother told her that her grandfather died in her room before she was born Also, my grandfather was leaving an office in his work walking down a staircase and a man passed him going the opposite way Realising he didn't know him, he ran back upstairs into the office and it was completely empty
LOL it was picked up by several of the science people's cameras flying off at high speeds. He missed out on the bit that was supposed to be the interesting part where they worked out how fast it was going and proved it was the fastest man-made object ever.
I’ve seen ghosts. Big believer in that realm. I was 32 years old, we had just moved (few months) to a rent house that was probably 40 years old, not too bad in my hometown in Texas while finishing out my career in the Navy. My wife and I were sitting on the couch watching TV and we both saw something off to the right of the room, almost at the same time...then she looked back to me and with a look, and I said “little girl in a yellow dress?”....she said “ya, she was just there.” We weren’t scared, the little girl seemed very innocent and we didn’t feel threatened. My brother hasn’t been to the house yet, couple months go by and swings over on a Sunday to BBQ with me. He’s 36yrs old, kind of a gruff guy that works in the oil/gas business. I was in the kitchen unpacking the food to prep for grill and he yells out my name. I said, “ya what’s up I’m in the kitchen...”he said my name again, so I walk to the living room where he’s on the couch and I ask, “what?”. He said, “dude....you weren’t just in here? You didn’t just touch my shoulder?” I looked at him confused a little and told him, “ no man, I was in the kitchen”. He said “you’re not fucking with me, right?” I said... “no....ooohhh, did you see her? The little girl in the yellow dress?” With a pretty damn scared look on his face, he said “nah, fuck this I’m out of here. You got something wrong with this house”and walked out of the house. He literally drove off. I called him obviously after he left to try and calm him down but he said he knows what he saw and said no fucking way am I coming over. We had only signed a one year lease and moved at the end of it.
I’d love to see Ricky Gervais do a documentary of him on his own camping overnight in haunted places like Auschwitz for example. For the man that doesn’t believe in that stuff, I bet he’d 💩 himself 😄
Great Upload but little annoying many parts end way to early, even later on in it. Some of the best parts are missed that are at the end of some Chats.
In this video, Karl says that children aren't afraid of weird things. But when he talked about seeing the Elephant Woman for the first time in his dad's cab, he says kids are always scared of things that are different...
24:58 ....First of all if they bump into Steve then they won't see much different ...secondly if they did meet karl although he's a great being there's not many like him! If any! 🤣
That last story, about the brain surgery in a fucking chair. With the skin breaking up, like cooked chicken...X"""DDD I die everytime i hear that. It's the most ridiculous story in the fucking world.
I cant be the only one to listen to Karl pilkington stuff with my eyes closed trying to go sleep, can I? I love the banter 😂 I must have listened to his RUclips stuff every night for 3 year , even the same ones more than once 😂😂
Every night!
Jennie Connor every night
Yep.
Suzanne is a lucky woman if he talks before sleep 😂
Every night
Putting a compilation like this together must be so time consuming, thanks, it's much appreciated!
Who said he’s put it together could have been unseen supernatural beings 👀👀
So then she left a comment saying thank you for making this compilation. But the person replied “I never made a compilation”.
Do you have a sister called dairy ? Or also know as dunkers
Nobody doesnt like Cara Lea
its not that hard, you just get all the clips and put them together, takes about maybe 30mins
I love "You believe anything that you're told except when we tell you the truth." That encapsulates so much.
"she was a bog standard old woman, are we burnin, or buryin?"
To this day I use the “she was your bog standard old woman” when describing random people
when describing old women, I'd imagine!
Before every reply to a question, Karl always says " Errrrr....... " love it 😂
"somebody had wroted" 😂
😂😂😂
I love that when he came downstairs and told his mam there’s something up there, she just said ok!?
Karl's mam believes in ghosts so she would have accepted it straight away!
A lovely mum to have. God bless her.
“It is three different people hassling him about a fire that didn’t happen, about a wife that didn’t exist and a cat that didn’t look happy”. Karl Pilkington
How do you explain that?!
Sounds like one of those beedles about type ghosts
The Mrs Battersby story is especially mental because a) Karl had to picture how old he would look in a photo to remember how old he was at the time, rather than simply remembering how old he was when his brother got married; and b) because he couldn't remember Mrs Battersby because he didn't think she was a ghost at the time, so he completely forgot *despite being told she was a ghost the very next morning*
It's the way he said baby dead.. Ricky couldn't contain his lol
A shadow was pushing people of their bikes.....I laughed and laughed.
Any time someone I know has passed away the time has been talked about, I have no idea why they find this so strange
What time exactly?!
18:27 why does it just go to the next bit? Karl
Is about to say “never mind your beard, where’ve you been for three days?!” Followed by an amazing Ricky bursting laugh.
Ye mam and ye dad's!!; followed by'"hes done you again"🤣🤣🤣🤣
Agreed, poor editing here!
They censored it because it was too spooky
I always thought it was weird when Ricky and Steve made such a big deal of Karls dad asking at what time the neighbor died when told. That's like *THE* thing you do. It's a normal question.
It's because they interpreted it as "what time did she died?" Karl's dad clearly said "when did that happen?"
This is such a gem of a bedtime listening compilation, funny and chill to get you ready for a long and cosy night's sleep.
"What's the connection 'ere?" Always makes me laugh 😂😂😂
I love this. Gotta be one of my faves. All his ghost stories were always the best parts. That and the diary.
This is the only one I listen to almost daily to sleep. I always listen to the first part and fall asleep with a smile. Hugs everyone💕✨
Mrs Battersby
It was pushing people off their bikes. LOL.
I just started listen to him and I’ve done it every night for the past 3 months…no stop in sight, I’m addicted
"There's this shadow somewhere."
Pushing people off bikes
Oh boy, Yvette Fielding and the hilarious Most Haunted mob certainly missed a trick, a series featuring Ricky, Steve and Karl would be dynamite. I can picture the night vision shots now!
My nightly routine all through covid and still going ! Thank u guys sleep well 😴
7:30 Karl's story about the vampire is something that happened in Romania where superstition is still strong. Josh Gates investigated it, the "vampire" was just a guy who had a disease where the gums recede and sensitivity to sunlight. In some cases, the vampires were just infected with rabies or something. There are people who live as vampires, but Karl has very selective focus, making hilarious results.
Extremely late reply but there's also a condition called porphyria, which gives agonising symptoms that can be temporarily relieved by drinking other 'normal' peoples blood
@@Mark-qb8fq That is one of the diseases associated with vampires.
@@Mark-qb8fqthere are various types of porphyria, NONE OF WHICH are treated by drinking blood! Play a record!
Vampire coverup
'so who's going to do the cropping?'
He was right, so many uncropped photos all over the place nowadays.
“It must be a massive pain having a tiny tankard in a pub” is genuinely one of the funniest most under rated lines in all of these convos with the 3 of them 😂😂😂😂😂
Karl has to be one of the very funniest men walking this planet.
You could make a case for about 100 of his many stories and one liners being his funniest but the man-hole cover one is something else.
He is grade A comedy gold and it’s just completely effortless.
When he was in Petra and explained why he would rather live in a cave see Petra rather than wake up in Petra and see a cave; I knew he was a sage. He's Diogenes of Synope reborn.
Burying people alive was an issue at some point in the past, they used to sell safety coffins for the well off. It had a rope system linked up to a bell that they could ring if they were buried alive.
Hence the phrase “ dead ringer’....
So, if you were poor it's tough luck?
What lake is the Loch Ness monster in? Classic - like What were those things in Gremlins called?
Andromeda Is Calling Or “that man who was in Forrest Gump”. x
The best thing is that Ricky didn't catch on that he was on about the Mogwai
What lake is the Loch Ness monster in?
Mogwai .. but yeah funny anyways.
The Pub Karl is talking about during the Derek Acorah segment is the 'Dirty Bottles' in Alnwick, Northumberland. The 'curse' is on the bottles, which have now been sealed between glass. I remember hearing this story a long time before this podcast was originally broadcast!!
it doesn't really matter as the story is a load of complete sh*t anyway!
The fire in the oven story kills me every time. That has to be one of my top 5 favorite bizarre things KP said. The oven fire cat, the "parrot's blood" story, the Loch Ness monster, the Owlheaded armadillo, the retired space monkey. Anything having to do with animals is KP gold.
What else is living on walls!?
What else is living on walls!?
"Are we burning or burying? next! ha
"So, what you tellin' me for?" 😂😂
35:35 Ricky’s funniest laugh
I don’t know how anyone can sleep with this on. Even if I do switch off from the conversation I’m guaranteed to be woke up by Ricky laughing.
More to the point, I wonder what kind of subconscious damage this is doing listening to Karl’s theories whilst asleep?
"Somebody wroted" has to be one of the funniest things ive ever heard
The manhole cover thing is true.. just he’s a little off about it..
That's karl. Hes usually partially right but he embellishes
Karl's description of the high pitched noise is exactly how sleep paralysis unfolds.
@Samuel Black My experience is similar to yours.
Or Mrs battersby
Brilliant stuff
Gervais is scared of ghosts. He's petrified. that's why he gets annoyed.
No, he doesn't believe in them.
David it's a reference to one of Karl's comments during the compilation. Stu D is just referencing it
I've never heard so much crop in my life
Stop being a wewe!
@@barbecuedsimsbaby you must be chuffed you managed to use your new word...!
Doctor yak for prime minister of the world
Because they dug up a body, liquidized it's heart, burnt it, and drank it. That's why they're in prison.
Did Karl ever update us on the shadow that pushed people off their bikes? Lol. He said he would..
He did but the tape mysteriously vanished. Coincidence? I think not
"It pushed people off the bikes!" Oh for fuck's sake.
27:35
Old people are scarier as ghosts when it comes to stories.
“Bog standard old woman” killed me
Who's listening to this who isn't from the uk ? ❤😊😮
Saucer drinkers all over
I love these but can't work out how people sleep without laughing lol
Sorry...Sorry! I thought it was shite! I didn't know it was on the Internet!
The manhole cover is actually true it just passed in front of several cameras during an atomic bomb test and calculations were done proving it was the fastest man made object. Of Course Karl got a lot of details incorrect.
Christopher Larkins Operation Plumbbob. x
You’re talking bollocks!
Where'd you read that, in UFO data magazine?
"Who's gonna do the croppin?"
The cat did not look happy! Amazing.
My cat has a range of facial expressions from very happy to extremely annoyed
These are just amazing. Could you possibly do audio versions as podcasts? Would be soooo good for commuting
Steve no
I've never heard so much crop in my life.
Dont be a wewe!
'never mind yer beard....where've you been for three days?!?!'
I have seen this I dunno how many times never gets old lol
It would be so frustrating talking to Ricky snd Stephen about this things.
Lmao Karl is so calm snd doesn’t seem to take anything personal
“Where am I going? Am I going down or am I going up?”
It cuts to new story at @18:27 a bit early.
26:05 theres a shadow somewhere
why would someone need to write a note to remind them that their baby had died, and therefor they can ignore an entire shopping list?
fluttershy pony Weird innit?
Therapy?
Jeez!
Never saw the man hole cover again
1:21:00
Over all the shit Karl comes out with he has some lightning wit on him lmao. Comes out of nowhere too lmao.
If Derek Acorah was still alive he and Karl could have done a TV ghost show together I would have watched it (Karl sounds like a believer his stories are great.)😂
Well shizz, I didn't even know he died 😕
I don’t know if it’s bc quarantine has made me drink for no reason, but how did I ever sleep to this without ever laughing?? 😭
47:30 - That shit makes me laugh EVERY time XD
All joking aside, my mum saw a ghost when she was young in her bedroom of an old man standing in the corner
The next day, her mother told her that her grandfather died in her room before she was born
Also, my grandfather was leaving an office in his work walking down a staircase and a man passed him going the opposite way
Realising he didn't know him, he ran back upstairs into the office and it was completely empty
There's a shadow somewhere!
Got up right close to it...... and somebody wroted.. 😂😂
The paranormal stories are the best
They scare me.
“Her spirit was whizzing ‘round my bedroom.” - What ?
“Well, it would have to be, wouldn’t it ?”
- The Metaphysics of Karl
Thanks Yak!
legend!
I'll go to my grave wondering what Karl meant by the manhole cover story. When did they EXPECT to see it again?? lol
LOL it was picked up by several of the science people's cameras flying off at high speeds. He missed out on the bit that was supposed to be the interesting part where they worked out how fast it was going and proved it was the fastest man-made object ever.
Somebody had wroted gets me everytime 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I’ve seen ghosts. Big believer in that realm. I was 32 years old, we had just moved (few months) to a rent house that was probably 40 years old, not too bad in my hometown in Texas while finishing out my career in the Navy. My wife and I were sitting on the couch watching TV and we both saw something off to the right of the room, almost at the same time...then she looked back to me and with a look, and I said “little girl in a yellow dress?”....she said “ya, she was just there.” We weren’t scared, the little girl seemed very innocent and we didn’t feel threatened.
My brother hasn’t been to the house yet, couple months go by and swings over on a Sunday to BBQ with me. He’s 36yrs old, kind of a gruff guy that works in the oil/gas business. I was in the kitchen unpacking the food to prep for grill and he yells out my name. I said, “ya what’s up I’m in the kitchen...”he said my name again, so I walk to the living room where he’s on the couch and I ask, “what?”. He said, “dude....you weren’t just in here? You didn’t just touch my shoulder?” I looked at him confused a little and told him, “ no man, I was in the kitchen”. He said “you’re not fucking with me, right?” I said... “no....ooohhh, did you see her? The little girl in the yellow dress?” With a pretty damn scared look on his face, he said “nah, fuck this I’m out of here. You got something wrong with this house”and walked out of the house. He literally drove off. I called him obviously after he left to try and calm him down but he said he knows what he saw and said no fucking way am I coming over. We had only signed a one year lease and moved at the end of it.
Well... it’s all bollocks
Eric ORourke shutup idiot
Cleb Felm You’ve got a shitty attitude
Lmao
Don't talk sh*t, play a record.
I’d love to see Ricky Gervais do a documentary of him on his own camping overnight in haunted places like Auschwitz for example. For the man that doesn’t believe in that stuff, I bet he’d 💩 himself 😄
@flat out heck proven? By whom?
@flat out heck science doesn’t know everything pal 😉
I don’t know which one to plump for........
Hilda lived her life a bog standard old woman who died at quarter of eleven specifically
The manhole cover nuclear explosion was a real story. No idea why they did it though.
18:33 - why did you just fade out the end of the 'alien gives man a beard' story before Karl had finished telling it? Disliked.
15:10 just leaving this here for when I come back to this video.
35:28 the manhole cover
Great Upload but little annoying many parts end way to early, even later on in it. Some of the best parts are missed that are at the end of some Chats.
Never mind some parts ending way too early - Where have ya been for 3 daaays?!?
@@youhustlinmeboy4989 That actually Cracked me up loooool. Brilliant
The Complete Karl Pilkington on Ghosts (A compilation with Ricky Gervais & Stephen Merchant)
66,666 views
odd ...
Weird innit😂😂
Karl’s brain makes me reconsider all of epistemology.
I'm lucky me memory is bad because I can watch this many times
Do you remember Mrs Battersby?
In this video, Karl says that children aren't afraid of weird things. But when he talked about seeing the Elephant Woman for the first time in his dad's cab, he says kids are always scared of things that are different...
He has no idea what he's talking about most of the time.
In Karl's mind weird things and different things are totally separate categories.
I love you, Doc
I'd love to have had Karl's parents.
Noooo. You cut out the reaction to “alien gives man a beard” 😩😩
Thank yiu
24:58 ....First of all if they bump into Steve then they won't see much different ...secondly if they did meet karl although he's a great being there's not many like him! If any! 🤣
That last story, about the brain surgery in a fucking chair. With the skin breaking up, like cooked chicken...X"""DDD I die everytime i hear that. It's the most ridiculous story in the fucking world.
Superb
I swear one of these days Gervais is going to blow my speakers.
So frustrating.
1:06:30 Mancula lol
I love 6:18.
Flies + Johnny = Badness