***DISCLAIMER: In this interview, I transparently shared my mindset as a broken man in a marriage that began in 2008. That's 16 years ago! The questions were geared towards the infidelity in my marriage in hopes to educate viewers of the importance of healing before "l do." DON'T MISS THE MESSAGE. I've been divorced going on 7 years now. So you are hearing about the toxic decisions of my past versus my reformed mindset. The major difference between this interview and what many of you are used to hearing from me on the Dear Future Wifey podcast is this interview was centered around the past and DFW showcases the healed present mindset and my future goals. My current mindset is committed to abstinence and killing the Goliath of infidelity.
What was your relationship with God like Sir? Did you at any time have a deep relationship with Him, study the Word, and pray with your ex wife? Did you just attend Church? It is telling how I am halfway through with this vid and have not heard of what your relationship with God was like. I hope you have deepened your walk since then.
@@justmeja8217 Clearly my relationship with God during that time was trash. Though I attended church, I wasn't living for God. After going through a failed marriage and a toxic situationship following, I went on a journey of self discovery and restoration and documented it on The Dear Future Wifey Podcast.
Sounds like he married her because she was good on paper and “seemingly” easy, but she wasn’t really what he was attracted to in the way you should be with the person you marry. Which is no fault of her own. I chuckled when he said he was attracted to toxic women when he himself was toxic during that time. I think church and faith can definitely be a handicap for young women and attaching themselves to men who push religion, but it’s not truly their value system in a real world practical way. This proves my theory that men don’t really know what they want which is why they like to control women. He could’ve married a woman who enjoyed sex just as much as he does, but in his warped thinking he probably looked at that woman as not being worthy of marriage. So instead marry a woman he wasn’t really into and cause her damage. Smh. On the upside, I’m glad he’s grown and has changed his life. Hopefully his story can help other men. Good for his wife for moving on.
It is since friendships too are stressful and women aren't even loyal to themselves so its impossible to expect loyalty from the opposite gender No friends, no man equals loneliness
While you were cheating she was in prayers begging for peace for your decision and peace within her self ! That’s why there was no fight from her during the divorce. She already healed from u ❤️.
He basically just shared how a dude under the guise of a religion or belief system with bad character and discipline preys on women who they see as "pure" or a "good woman". It's a lot of dudes like him out here. As women, we must believe what we see and hear. These dudes are lukewarm, on the fence, self-centered, predators.
These are the same men to say their EX was so crazy…as if it happens out of nowhere People are not one dimensional. You can’t expect that good and kind person to stay that way if you yourself are not good and kind.
I told this married man to put in the same effort he's putting into pursuing me into his wife, and he'll be amazed at what happens. Let me tell you, they got back on track, and shortly after, his wife gave birth to another son. Ladies, send married men away, send them back to their wives.Donot be the reason for a broken home. Our heavenly Father sees all things and knows all things. 🙏 ❤️
I did the same thing with my ex, told him to concentrate on his wife instead of bringing me bad luck with my future husband. Refused to even meet with him once I found out he was married.
Finally found you 😂they don’t make em like us no more. I wouldn’t touch someone else’s man it’s so gross and self defiling not to mention the curses women bring on them selves
I feel like a lot of men have their real preferred partners but marry other women who are "wife material" because it looks good on paper, causing them to cheat with the real preference. People should just like who they like and spare others the pain and dysfunction.
As someone who has constantly been approached by married men, all I’ll say is married men seem to want a responsible, calm dutiful woman that will run the home, tend to the kids, tend to the wider family & also others. But when it comes to satisfying their need for pleasure, adventure & excitement, they will go elsewhere to get it. This is why I don’t understand women running to get married out of fear of being single, then a year or so into the marriage you are again alone because that man don’t wantchu. You’re only married on paper. Stay your ass single and WAIT for the right man to come who has no problems with commitment because he loves YOU for YOU.
I agree with you because when asked what he likes about his wife, he only talks about how smart she is, good at buisness with a good head on her shoulders and unproblematic. Tbh that sounds like a job requirement; what recruiters look for. He never said anything about her physical appearance, her personality, if he loved her company, etc… In my opinion he liked the complete opposite and he even admitted that!
@@zazilicious Any time a man tells me he likes me because i'm "nice" or "would make a good mom" I cringe. That's how I know it's not about who I am, but how it would look to others.
Three things that stood out to me were: 1. “She (the side piece) was around before I got married” 2. “I knew what she (my wife) would do at any moment” 3. “We’re practicing abstinence but let me just stick the head in” 😢 This is why we are taught to NEVER trust a man with female friends (especially if he acts extremely dedicated to them), NEVER be too available even if he’s your husband and NEVER marry a man who shows you he can’t stick to his decisions especially when it comes to refraining from sex! - Lack of discipline!
He did not love his wife while he was cheating on her for 5 years. Love does his neighbor no harm… Love is sacrificial… Love is kind… Cheating on your spouse does not fall under any definition of love that I can think of… On another note, why would she fight for the marriage after he cheated throughout the entire marriage?
This missed the mark for me... he speaks about women like we are someTHING to use. Saying Amen after saying "not selfish with your vagina" doesn't excuse the blatant disrespect.
Is this man actually serious? after being a serial cheater for years he's moaning about his wife not fighting to keep him. Why could he not fight for his marriage by being faithful/trying to change? The entitlement is shocking.
I’m 8 mins into the interview and what I’ve already concluded is a woman can be all the things a man “wants” and you will still get cheated on. Sooo she’s supposed to fight for a marriage where he cheated the whole time?? I’m so glad his ex wife moved on with her life.
I think the biggest thing is when he touched on being healed when you are healed you seek from a better space and you attract more of what will match with you.
The cheating had nothing to do with the wife. It had to do with the fact that he had the habit already of sleeping with multiple women. I bet the wife wanted sex, but he minimized it. Some times people make up stuff in their mind to make what they did seem like it was not as bad. He cheated in the first year. He could of sat the wife down and told her his exact feelings. He wanted a good woman without being a good man. He still doesn’t not seem like his mindset is full changed either based on how he talks. It just seems as such because he is not married.
@@alvybre8505 Marriage should NEVER be based on Sex. That’s where the confusion is in this generation. What if a husband or a wife falls ill or gets into a bad accident and is unable to have sex anymore? The goal of marriage is to be a reflection of Christ’s union and to serve God through your marriage. Too many people think sex is the ultimate Goal of marriage and that is why so many marriages don’t last. I also feel though that if you are capable to then you should because Sex is an important part of marriage for both parties most times.
I agree with you. I don't think he's changed either. He needs some more deep reflection. He still hasn't taken the sinful nature of his ways seriously enough. It's a real grievance to God and to marriage to continue to minimize this problematic behavior.
I’m happy he was open to tell his story, but this was a mess. I pray everyday that I love myself enough to never allow a person like this in my presence.
I guess if we can come from brokenness be healed and in a different place to share our story , if the transparency may help others , it’s a blessing if you are in the company of gods renewed works .
SimplyCece, YES!!! And for those around me to love me enough to pray for hedges of protection around my heart, mind, and emotions as I go through that valley.
I always watch his podcasts. I challenge you to check them out. They are life-changing blessings with multifaceted guests, and I think they MAY change your perspective on him. This is only showing one side of him and his story.
He didn't want to marry the other woman cause she was just like him and the one he married he felt was weaker. He said he knew her moves before she made them and she wasn't much to manage, cool, and not high maintenance. She was just the perfect victim. He really wanted the other woman but he knew she was like him. She helped him cheat and would probably cheat on him, she knows the game and he knows it
@@selfloveisfirst4970 yep. He knew he was safe with the wife. With the other woman sleeping with him before and during his marriage she had no respect for his relationship with the fiance then wife. He knew if she had no respect for his relationship then she wouldn't have respect for their relationship...even though he has no respect. How ironic
@@yana212 that's men logic and only because society never hold them accountable. Society also includes women who keep making stewpid excuses for the cheating men
Proud of his Ex wife for choosing her self🙌🏾 Queens don’t chase! He said it was peaceful Divorcing her & nothing would’ve change it. That was her Closure🙏🏾Good for her!!
@@kokotatts Single Queens do not chase. But A King and A Queen rule a kingdom together. They grow together. Sex is important in a marriage no matter which way you swing it. When he said he wanted it twice a week and she said "no end of discussion". Any sex therapist will tell you that is dysfunctional. Marital sex is one of the most beautiful things ever and to treat it, as an afterthought, damages the marriage. Some psychologists even put sex as a basic human need along with food, shelter, water, safety and security. I wonder if she went to therapy herself to discover why she had so little affection for her husband. I'm not saying it's wrong. I'm saying it doesn't help the marriage stay stable and solid. But there always needs to be more understanding on both sides...He needs to understand why she has little to no libido and affection and she has to understand why he wants the sex twice a week. All people say is don't have sex before marriage and then people get married and don't know what to do and have no idea how to meet their sexuality in the middle.
@@thehooddoctor2191 Devout Christians do not understand sex because they are never taught what to do about it. there is never a discussion in pre-marital Christian counselling about sex. That needs to change.
It's really sad how we've conditioned women to take rubbish. How many times would you hear that a man was fasting for this serial cheater wife to change? Never! He just leaves. If he loves her, he'll demand/plead for change … then leave if it's not changing. Women are out here spending almost a decade, sometimes even more, with serial cheaters - praying that they change. Do you really think he'd afford you that same patience? Sis, respect yourself enough to walk away from rubbish.
My thoughts on this interview: I don't mind hearing his experience from a time in his life before he knew better. However, the way he delivered it seemed to lack genuine thoughtfulness, not only to his wife at the time but also to the overall situation that he is introducing your audience to for the first time. I feel like his answers/storytelling was rushed and sloppy and made him come off arrogant and not genuinely remorseful. IDK maybe he thought he was communicating his story effectively but to me, it seemed like he was trying to be funny and likable which caused him to come off in the opposite way. I'm sure he isn't the same man that he was back then but his answers don't show the audience that he is a man who truly understands the weight of his actions and words.
You hit the nail on the head. It was rushed. The interview was supposed to be double the time but I had to get @breenylee to the airport so she wouldn't miss her flight. Fun fact: she still missed her flight anyway. I flew her to Dallas to shoot an episode for my channel and we wanted to use any extra time to shoot an episode for her platform. That's why it starts off so playful because we'd been hanging out all day. I also didn't take into account that though Breeny watches my channel and knows my story, it would be the first time being introduced to her audience and without the full circle of the story, the audience would only have a limited past perspective without hearing the current mindset.
@@DearFutureWifey She articulated very well the first impression of THIS interview. Your interviews and ministry through Dear Future Wifey are authentic, enlightening, and helpful. Your ongoing work with Kingdom men is priceless. Continue to excel and share your story. I hope people will not dismiss your worth because of the situations surrounding this interview but will visit you on your site and see the changed and committed man you have become and continually work on. Blessings and expansion.
Sometimes what you see as excuses aren’t actually excuses, but it explains the behavior. When you step outside yourself and heal you can see yourself better and start to understand why you did certain things even if they weren’t good.
You don’t find love in sex. Sex is the fruit of love. Not the other way around. He is lacking self love. And he never engaged with his wife, it’s not that she didn’t talk a lot…he wasn’t interested enough in HER to discover HER. And love is an ACTION. I’m sorry but you can’t love someone while cheating on them. It’s literally the opposite of what it means to love someone. The Bible tells husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church. Aka: sacrificially. He’s not a sacrificial person.
I really like that you're using present tense. I think thisan is still hurting and there are hints of insecurity. He even thought his ex was "shooting her shot" when she said he should've been her husband, yet he is now doing all manner of talking based on the hirt he caused. The fact that he interpreted her words in that way signals someone who reads between the lines looking for hints of being loved and wanted. He thinks he is honest yet he just said he lied for 5 years. Pray for this man
@E - Beautifully said! When you said he wasn't interested enough to "discover her," I thought of how narcissists often try to pigeonhole a person or project onto them a persona that is not truly that person. Many times they see you as other than who you really are because it serves their narrative. People on here commenting about the wife's failure to have sex with him need to realize we are only getting his self-serving side of the story.
@@greenqueen2673 I'm a former wife and I loved sex with my former husband even though we were broken people hurting each other. But I've never been sexually repressed. Even if I wasn't sexually experienced, I read books about sexuality and psychosexual theory. Then it was just trying to match each other's sexual rhythm. And that rhythm didn't always match up. I had sex with my former husband many times half asleep. Lol! I was physically tired but my emotions and thoughts lined up that I wanted him to feel close to me and give him what he needed at that time. (intimacy) It was never to my detriment ( that's sexual abuse) and I never felt coerced or forced ( yes marital rape is a thing) We always fell asleep in each other's arms afterwards. Sex done right relaxes your body and mind. You shouldn't feel dirty, guilty, abandoned, used or violated afterwards. One or twice a week is not excessive or a very high libido so his request especially that early on in the marriage was not unreasonable. Because he was broken, instead of trying to fix the marriage, he looked outside the marriage, cause for some reason a lot of men think sex fixes everything....it doesn't. Value and respect sex otherwise it could destroy you.
I’m so glad to see so many women “seeing through” his efforts to be genuine. Ladies… run from men like this. I see not one fruit of the spirit in this man. Not marriage material at this point..
Thank you!!! For him to be a "born again Christian" he's still struggling with the spirit of fornication, and what a lot of people don't know is that fornication turns into Adultery if not delivered from it BEFORE marriage. I speak from experience. Both me and my ex husband FORNICATED to until our wedding night and later in the marriage that spirit grew into ADULTERY. If anyone claims to be a Christian it's imperative that we ask God to cleanse us from unclean spirits. Sex is glorious.....but only within the compounds of HOLY MATRIMONY.
@@candacieamsterdam4857 obviously. However it’s in the way that he states what “he did” and “who he was” that shows there has been not been a significant amount of change. It’s eyes that can see which causes one to see these things. Based off his language and body language.. I see not much remorse or repentance. I’d be all for him.. if I seen more brokenness in this video. More repentance.
@@raquellpn7482 THAT PART. Plus the narcissism. He broke this women and expected her to fight for the marriage even though he knew it wouldn't change his decision about divorce. And took it a step further to perk up post divorce when she said she was the wife he should have stayed with and ask "was this her shooting her shot." Like he is so focused on self. He doesn't seem to have remorse, and doesn't seem to be the man of god he tries to portray himself as online.
Lesson: when someone shows you who they are believe them. He cheated before marriage, is extremely arrogant. Takes no accountability. Religious without a relationship. He also comes off as controlling. **Ladies trust your intuition. If this convo makes you cringe your not alone. He seems very narcissistic. Protect yourself because you may be all that you have.
Amen sister ty for your words I feel triggered and uncomfortable just listening to this man and I’m grateful to u for pointing out my intuition. Bless u and ur intuition and all of us women ❤️
He sounds religious but I don’t hear Christ when he speaks. He speaks vulgar and then forces the interviewer to say amen. He knows his spirit isn’t right so he manipulates. I cringed when she conformed.
I feel like he married her profile - businesslike, church going, non-attitude - and interchanged that for compatibility and did not marry for friendship, passion, love and purpose. Over time, the cheating and her nonchalantness in divorce were unfortunate results in their union. Honestly, I almost made that mistake myself SEVERAL times, and despite your best intentions, you just don't know what you just don't know...
absolutely.I nearly switched off there.Had to pause and come to it a few days later.THat. was vulgar talk , reflective of his mindset , even is we're keeping it. 'real'
@@ayo1232 Some men are naturally monogamous. However... even the ones that aren't are called to have integrity and self control... to control their flesh...as this is what's best for everyone involved. It leads to better and more positive results for the children, the couple and everyone in society.
He has a big fat blind spot when it comes to his shadow (“dark side”). Breeny dropped a *gem* right in front of him and shined the light on it at 21:05. He didn’t even recognize it - or, he couldn’t/wouldn’t see it - so he breezed right by it with denial (“I’m not like that. I’m real. I’m honest about what I desire.”) because he isn’t self-aware of this part of himself. Or, he is aware of it and doesn’t want to accept it. Breeny was so kind. I don’t know if I could’ve let that pass. I heard his answer and immediately thought, 🗣 “You’re one of the men she’s talking about! How do you not see this about yourself?!” The women he desires are the type he actually wants. They just don’t fit the image he wants to (publicly) present because they’re not “respectable,” they don’t fit into what he thinks his wife *should* be. What we desire can be completely different than the image of ourselves we want to present, speaking to Breeny’s point. Until we accept ourselves, who we are, and what we actually want, we’ll never reconcile the gap between image (societal expectations) vs. reality which means we’ll continue to live an inauthentic life. It seems like he’s still lying to himself about what he wants. He wants a freak, not a “good girl.” He probably could find the freak he likes, marry her, be satisfied and finally at peace if he cared less about image.
Exactly but a freak doesn't mean a bad girl. He is weird asf. He has some inner issues and he knows he probably has a not so nice reputation so he is trying to clean it up with a person that looks good on paper..then have the nerve to say someone else isn't marriage material like he is 🤣🤣🤣 man you a whole man *hore lol
His podcast is transformative. Don't get lost in the medium; his message and interviewees stories' ARE healing. And he doesn't focus on himself as much on his podcast; he really allows his guests a platform and space to share their experiences and there are lessons and wisdom in them. I find myself feeling like I wish his episodes were longer when they're already an hour plus in length!
True. I enjoy his podcast very much and how he conducts himself and really LISTEN to his quest. That's what's wrong with this 🌎.Too much fake to please the society& not enough honesty that could help someone else going thru the same thing. He's also very funny. Joyous spirit. I didn't know what happened during this interview I have never seen him come offish like that. Maybe there was something else going on.
As much as he's "telling his truth" and talks about "his journey" blah blah blah, he still very much talks with a level of pride when he talks about his affairs. Clearly he still has a longggggggg way to go, because theres not enough remorse here. Sorry to his ex wife.
(no means for disrespect, just gaging in dialog)How long is he expected to speak with remorse? Sometimes from the "victim" lens, we hold this cloud over people with an expectation that they should carry that shadow around with them. However, while these are extreme learning moments, at the the end of the day, it is still a learning moment, as all of us have. None of us, no matter the circumstance, should have to walk around with guilt, but instead should grow and own our new selves.
@@DearFutureWifey people are coming for you in these comments. No offense to them, because I'm a woman too and I get it, but they sound like women who haven't healed from being cheated on and so they're not recieving you well. I hope the recognize that at some point
@@elle_l808l I know right! God built me for this. God can't heal what we won't reveal. It took a lot of inner work for me to finally walk in freedom. One of the biggest fears I had was sharing about my infidelity in Season One of my podcast. I felt as if it would be career suicide and preferred to leave it in the past, since I was no longer married. However, God had other plans and told me to share my journey. Now, because of it... I've helped so many men become faithful and leave adulterous relationships. I've taken a vow of abstinence and other men have followed. I'm accountable to Christ alone.
He was already cheating before the marriage he was always a cheater. Never marry a man who shows you he's not your husband. I would have been out, no forgiveness.
I heard that men who are unable to wait and control themselves in dating ie be abstinence are going to use that same lack of self control to cheat on you in marriage I’m going to keep that in mind moving on.
I was just thinking about this. If the man courting me asks to "let him get the tip in", that is a HUGE red flag and I would really reconsider things moving forward. I mean, that's supposed to be the head of the house and that's his will power? That being said, I appreciated the interview and his testimony.
It is hard for some men not all but men can wait that's what prayer is for, but we forget to pray when we are weak, for him it was sexual but for others it may be hours of tv. The first mistake was them being alone.
WOW! I'm only 8 minutes in, and I'm disappointed in his behavior. He says "amen" behind wayyy too much, mainly behind his comments about sex, and THEN wanting you to say "amen" in agreeance with him. That's wild. Saying, "don't judge me" in reference to him "just putting the head in" into a bunch of women in his younger years, as if he shouldn't be judging himself on that and admitting that was wrong, is bothersome. We ALL have things to work on, but he still has a lot of pride and ego attached to him. He probably should have waited to do this interview.
Let people be human. Damn!! The way some people talk it’s as if their entire existence is laced in perfection. People are flawed! No one is perfect. His background is in theatre as he said, so he’ll naturally be an ott theatrical person. Just take the main message, use it to inform yourself & others where applicable, & give this man some grace.
In this whole interview, he contradicts himself over and over. LADIES THIS IS WHY Tony Gaskin always says LISTEN WHEN A MAN TALKS HE WILL TELL YOU EXACTLY WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW.
He’s attention seeking and I’ve found that ppl like this have had a brokenness from their childhood We can’t pretend like we as black Woman are celibate saint virgins While his cheating was deplorable and sinful against the Bible how is adultery more sinful than fornication?
@@yolandawilliams2753 Please re-watch the video with a listening ear. For anyone defending or agreeing all, I can say is. Would you go on a date or entertain a man who speaks about his past spouse? marriage/relationship that shows zero accountability and responsibility. Healing comes from a place of accountability, true healing won't even address the other person's actions. To heal is about you. Just has forgiveness And let's add this when you look back on the past trauma you inflicted on others and self there is no joke or grins about it. It's genuine remorse and holding yourself accountable. Not once did I hear this man say I should do this, man am sorry for not doing this, when I look back I see where I could, etc. I am sorry for doing etc. He can fool yall. Jehovah God has standards to be his friend, do not mock his name. When someone shows you who they are, believe them. BTW I love Breeny and have been watching her videos.
They dated for seven years. I’m sure they both said and showed each other a lot. Maybe they both were distracted with just the goal of marriage- not marriage to the best option for them.
The biggest lesson I got from this entire interview is COMMUNICATION. Once y'all stop talking about the things you're feeling, experiencing etc you drift off onto seperate pages in the book. The only way to stay on the same page is by being vulnerable and transparent. Just communicate. A conversation might not fix everything but it atleast allows both parties to understand each other's perspective. And in turn, this may lead to less drama, friction, irritability and potentially even unfaithfulness.
@@blueseptember2174 Ofcourse communication is a two-way street, can't work if only one person is willing. Also I agree, some people are just wayward but it's also very easy to spot those types. Usually God will bombard us with all these red flags lol more often than not we ignore the flags. At the very beginning if someone shows you signs that they aren't ready for a long-term commitment or aren't willing to work for one......leave. Never pour yourself into a broken vessel.
Communication means nothing when the person is cheating before ur married and cheating in the first year of marriage. He knew better - that’s why he’s gaslight her when she had questions. She was communicating her concerns and he was shutting her down. ‘communication’ being the best relationship advice is BS when you understand that people will do you how they wanna do you in relationships and you can’t control that one bit
Ok so I’m 20 min in and now I understand why sex should be saved for marriage. I have always known it’s a gateway to stuff but hearing this story makes it more realistic. Had he not had sex with that one woman before his marriage, he would not have had those thoughts about her that made him curious when he saw her. Wow. It’s really a trap God be knowing
Not really. If you've only been with one woman, you can still conjure up thoughts of another person you find attractive. In fact, I feel like you can even romanticize even more because you haven't experienced that person in that way. People who want to cheat, will cheat. I like that sex after marriage at least shows me that as a man, you're willing to exercise self control in moments of lust.
So the other woman tried to stop him from getting married and he continued to get married just to cheat with the same woman…. Why lock a woman down in that kind of almost permanent way if you’re not gonna FULLY step up to the plate ??
Exactly. He said he slept with her before they were married and the fiance knew and still moved forward and married him. He had already showed his lack of integrity and disrespect towards the relationship then. Being married was not gonna change anything. He was always a cheater.
She sounds like a women who is wholly emotionally connected to her sexuality. Men like him are ignorant to the fact that intimacy and romance begins when you wake up every morning. A woman such as his ex-wife, needs to feel loved, respected and protected, before giving herself sexually. He wasn’t willing to learn that, as he was only interested in his own gratification. Abstinence doesn’t guarantee he won’t return to those habits.
@@Gem-n-life Abstinence won't guarantee he stops talking about sex in ways like "share your vagina" As much as abstinence and celibacy are great, they can disconnect you from your sexuality and if you are disconnected from your sexuality.....you are not going to connect to another person sexually well either. So from one extreme Hypersexuality to the other Abstinence and celibacy. I don't think human beings are designed to be in either one. There has to be balanced. Give sex and sexuality the honour, respect and value it deserves. Otherwise, you get hurt by sex.
@@Avogadros_number He set himself up by marrying a woman he KNEW didn't have the same sexual appetite he had just because she was "wife material."Men marry women who are prudes claiming that a modest/prudent woman is "marriage material" and then later blame, shame, and cheat on those women for the same reason they deemed them worthy of marriage. JUST. MARRY. A HO.
It is so important to be with someone equally yoked. He and his ex wife, when it came to sex wanted different things. She didn’t care for sex like that and he did. The conversation about sex should have been had while he was courting her. Good for him for being honest and he is right our opinions of him do not matter. However, please, for anyone who wants to wait before marriage or healed enough to invite someone into your space or whatever space you are in, communicate wants,needs, and values. It is so important. Good luck to him and I hope his ex is doing well.
Sounds like Ex wife led him on What man in his right mind would marry a woman if he couldn’t get bountiful sex That’s like the carrot on the stick, aka the motivator for a man to commit to one woman
"The conversation about sex should've been had" Unfortunately in Christian courtships conversations like these are seen as taboo. I also feel it's important to know where you both stand sexually. Drive, frequency, is oral sex on the table? etc. You don't have to go into detail about the specifics too much, but it is a very necessary conversation to have. While sex isn't the only thing that makes a relationship, it does play a major role as far as intimacy. Even in spirit-filled relationships (in this case we're obviously talking about marriage relationship). Sex is afterall God's creation like everything else. He created that union for the glory of His name. And y'all can't glorify God as man and wife with an unhappy sex life🤷🏾♀️ All the different aspects of a relationship equally contribute towards its success in my opinion, including sex.
How is sharing your honest experience an excuse ? People who are narcissistic often struggle with lying more than they do being “transparent” . That’s what y’all seem to miss in all your narcissistic diagnosis. Every negative behavior HAS. A root and has a cause . That’s a FACT . When a person shares those realities it means they took the time to process their experiences. Again a rarity for someone who is a narcissist .
Clearly this man was not on his wifes level in terms of being a quality person. He says he loved her but loved other women's 😺 kitty more than he loved her. He says he's real except for those 5 years he slept with other woman and kept it a secret with his wife. He says it was better to sleep with more than one woman so he wouldn't feel so bad about another woman replacing his wife. I MEAN 😆 this is a joke and he really deserves another woman that's on his level that will act and think like him. I'm glad he divorced her, he did her a favor. She deserves alot better!
The sad thing is that men like this are very good at avoiding women that will treat them the same way. Instead they're very savvy at hunting and trapping good women then turning around and blaming them for not being nasty enough.
Not at all what I expected… but in life just listening and truly hearing what is being said- it will change your life. I’m 23 years old, I don’t know how but God brought Breeny’s content to me in a time where I needed it. Her work was ministering to my spirit… and still does. All I will say is before any of you decides to say anything- negative or otherwise disrespectful- be careful. It’s easy to criticize what you’ve never experienced. It’s not a necessity to agree with everything someone says, does, or believes- in order to learn from them. Anyhow, I’m excited for the next one… there is a lesson in every interview. The renewing of the mind is a powerful thing, and it can change the trajectory of a person’s life.
An individual has to experience infidelity to give a take on why its the wrong decision to make in a marriage ? Are there truly negative ? or are they highlighting his true character ? Can't come into agreement with anything because you want to maintain calm waters in life.
It’s interesting that men like this will continuously point the finger at the women for what was lacking in the relationship. Yet, if the women speaks on what she needs from the man then it turns to “nagging” or “being too emotional”. He treated her like a body with no soul once he couldn’t be pleased sexually. The constant double standards in relationships is what causes the downfall. If his wife cheated in anyway, I doubt he would stick around to work things out.
After reading through a lot of these comments, it seems that the need for sex is constantly downplayed for men. Women can have needs for communication, etc. and if that need isn’t being met we can find it elsewhere and we don’t have to cheat to full it. With sex men can’t do that. There are women that will marry men who want to love them sexually and they want to do it once a year and they expect him to just deny that need because he loves you, it’s very hard.
@@trinaesther1388 His wife was already having sex with him even before they got married and it was to the point that he thought it would be good to marry her. What changed? I'll tell you what. He treated her shabbily. Many men need to learn that when a woman isn't treated with care over an extended amount of time, she gets turned off. The only way to turn her back on is to be kind, considerate and forbearing for yet an extended amount of time. The sheer fact that she didn't mind him masturbating tells you she already checked out of the marriage a long time before he ever brought up a divorce; which turned out to be just a manipulative ploy of his to get her to care enough to desperately want to keep his sorry ass, but she was done. If he treated her lovingly and made her feel cared for and protected by him, perhaps she'd care enough to "fight". He was the leader of that marriage and lead it to a crash.
@Trina Esther that's why people get married they need to communicate and be committed he was already trifling before hand like the marriage was doomed before it even happen. Sex is on the top 5 list of things I have as a need in a marriage I would constantly nag my husband for sex and yet he always claimed he wasn't in the mood as it turned out he could never be because he was out there having sex with other women before he came home to me the guilt of looking at someone you know loves you endlessly knowing you are unknowingly to her cheating I don't believe this man for 1 second is telling the whole truth he comes off very narcissistic
@@trinaesther1388 Of course but a marriage is about meeting each other’s need. Dr Myles MUNROE talked about it very clearly: a man needs sex, a woman needs communication and affection. You cannot skip communication and don’t dhow affection to a woman and expect her to meet your needs for sex. This guys makes it all about him! I need this, give me that, “I want my wife to feel she’s inadequate “… how sick
lol right when he said "we were waiting to have sex but we did not wait to have sex does that make sense?" Breeny with the straight face, "no" "...that's still sex" 🤣
Until I walk a day in someone’s shoes, I continue to remain apprehensive when commenting on matters concerning a person’s response or behaviour. This is between him and God. It’s not for anyone to pass judgement. All we can do is learn. No matter what people think, such opinions don’t change the facts. This was a very informative discussion. We should all take lessons learned from this, and see how to apply it in our lives. Hopefully from this we can make better decisions in life.
I watch Dear Future Wifey Podcast and i do feel like I seen a different side to Laterras in this video but it’s not what everyone may think. I see a man who is still embarrassed by his actions so he makes light of them. I see a man who is still not comfortable with his vulnerability and this was the first time he detailed his affairs. Watching a lot of his own videos he never detailed to this extent what happened and as a viewer I gathered he cheated once based on how he tells the story and not multiple times with multiple women so that was a surprise to me. I think he comes across arrogant because he is still fighting to own what he did and also value who he is now regardless of his past. I think it still bothers him a lot and he is hurt that his ex wife didn’t fight. There is definitely a lack of self worth still there and he hasn’t fully stepped into what God fully says about him. If I didn’t know his story on his platform and watch his videos I would think he was an eff boy still but today I just see a man who is still struggling with the truth and transparency and is still in need of transformation. I believe I heard him say in his videos that he is now celibate. That is the best thing for him to do because he has to gain control of his sexual desires. Finding a woman who desires sex as much as him will just be a bonus to the marriage. But he has to submit his sexuality to God first and gain discipline. He also has to truly own that he has a high desire for sex that stand out of “I’m just a man” his desire is rooted in pain within himself that wants to release. Sex should be a vehicle for love but what happens when something else is in the driver seat of it. I am still rooting for Laterras because he is like a lot of men in the Christian space. Struggling to be in the world but not of it. And struggling to be sexually disciplined and not use marriage as a scape goat to abuse it and your partner. Praying for all the men dealing with his reality and the struggles of being a man for God.
So that irritates me the most! How is he going to ruin his marriage then get hurt because his ex-wife chose her peace over his abuse, manipulation and mistreatment? He does not have the right to be hurt by a woman HE dogged out so deceptively, with zero consideration. I'm sorry but I can't take his pain in that area seriously! He needs to grow up! Any pain he has is self-inflicted! This is why podcast single males irk me. Everything you described is immaturity.
I agree. I’m a bit surprised by how critical the comments are. I think it’s good to be able to listen to someone tell their story without making a bunch of judgments about how they should express themselves while doing so. I don’t think he is sharing this to ask the audience for forgiveness. I think he has gone through a process of trying to understand himself and his behavior and is focused on that.
@@OneTwo-yw4ij I completely understand that point of view. We don't have to sympathize with him; he was (and clearly still is in some ways) selfish and not fully matured. The way I took it is that we don't have to excuse him hurting her. We can love and pray for and stand for and with her, and still forgive him spiritually for allowing his hurt and immaturity to rule him.
I don't watch him, but I enjoyed his openness and see what you're saying. I liked his delivery, even though a lot of times I didn't like his truth. Everything he said was so relatable to me, and even though I never cheated in my marriage, a lot of the topics he touched on, I struggled with, but never put into words. I pray he continues to share, because the healing I received from this I want for everybody.
I wish I could hear his wife's perspective; she was probably working hard, maintaining a home, running a business, or maybe she felt unsatisfied sexually or thought he was selfish- things that may require brutal honesty and the help of a counselor.
LMAO right this guy even said his wife wasn't willing to sacrifice what the hell ? He couldn't sacrifice sleeping with other women when he was married which is just a basic rule
This man is so self aware and honest. The average man is just like this but doesn’t admit it. Applause to this man for educating us so we can protect ourselves
I’m an honesty guy. Cheated for five years and confessed after five years. Denying the type of woman that you are truly interested in. Don’t marry her because she didn’t have the qualities of your wife but cheated on your wife with her. He’s not being honest with himself
A woman has to feel loved, protected, heard and DESIRED in order to build sexual intimacy. How could she open up sexually when clearly his attention was elsewhere in YEAR 1?! It seems like something else was going on with his ex wife and I’d love to hear how SHE felt about him within the marriage. Side note: He said she wouldn’t talk a lot, I bet she just wasn’t talking TO HIM. 😂
That was my thought too. He showed that he had no desire to be in relationship with her by cheating. How is that an environment in which a partner feels safe enough to communicate whatever heart hurts that she had experienced. We weren't in their marriage but I know that if I don't feel safe or seen I'm not receptive sexually or emotionally.
Sis!!! I’m just like if we gonna bring content, put some effort into it. It’s not that hard to rent a nice hotel room, hire a camera man & put on some nice clothes. I’m so proud of this & proud of how she’s elevating the UK content game. 🔥
My take on cheating has always been that it is selfish, emotionally lazy people, who, instead of working on their relationships with their partner or having the decency to walk away before humiliating the other person, decide to lie and break the covenant they pledged to someone else. They unilaterally decide that if they're not getting what they want in a relationship, it's ok to find it elsewhere. Once your moral boundaries are that lax, there will always be an excuse that could be used to cheat. Nobody is perfect. Even if the wife gave him sex whenever he wanted it, the next complaint is that she doesn't perform at the level he wants it. And if she did all the nasty, freaky things he wanted, it will then be, she's too freaky. People who think it's justifiable to cheat will always cheat. There is no such thing as a reformed cheater. It's like eggs. There's no reassembling the eggs from an omelet. This man will go back to his old ways in no time, IMO.
@@deliteful1991 they can, people don't understand he said key word his mentality wasn't right, he was fighting demons Adam and Eve fell because they listen to the devil if they had resisted the devil the world wouldn't know sin.
I hope he’s still in therapy! He’s not healed. He said a whole bunch of nothing giving me a headache 🤕…Everything is about him & what he wants like he’s the prize. 🤷🏽♀️ Sad state of affairs with a lot of our men.
I cringed the whole interview. These men are disgusting and selfish. His self esteem is so low. He married a woman he didn’t really desire and put her through such a terrible experience just to get his ego stroked.
I didnt expect him to give these kind of answers, because a lot of it sounded very lustful and almost boasting. Even in a rushed setting you should be able to express your thoughts and experiences in a decent way. Im also wondering why your are constantly talking about what your ex wife did, for you to do these things. In the actions that led to a partnership - Marriage falling apart we must be able to focus on what we could have done better and honestly I didn't hear a lot of that, but more so talking about the sexual act and type of engagement that you want to have. It seems that the ex wife was emotionally distant coming into the marriage because of the disrespect going in before marriage, but agreed to stay, and if she was the one who would pray over you Guys, what was his contribution on that part. It seemed like there was no real foundation to begin with.
Yeah, that's the part that's disappointing. It's a lot of pointing the finger. Even his comment in the thread, he's blaming being rushed and Breeny's flight. Not just saying yeah, I didn't even realize this....
Amen nothing. He was married. Being healed means honoring your vows. You better pray till God calls you home but don't you dare marry a woman ruin her life and emotions and "heal" then divorce be cause your adultery robbed her of a faithful safe marriage.
Very insightful. Thank you for your vulnerability. Often times we don’t get to see men speak about these things and this conversation is much needed. I hope more men take accountability for their actions & get therapy to heal their brokenness so that they don’t bleed on other people.
Pressuring someone into saying “AMEN” to your nonsense is crazy! This guy is SICK 😷 🤮! All he talked about was his needs, HIS sexual needs in the marriage but not once he talked about what he was bringing to the table ! That’s a narcissist right there! Ladies, 🏃🏾♀️ run for your life
🗣Pause “Did you love your wife?” YES The worst lies are the lies we tell ourselves….he should have said he loved her, but not enough NOT to cheat on her for 5 years. Dear God please don’t ever send me that type of love Amen “you gotta say Amen” 🙄
My problem with that statement is it implies that love is enough to stop “cheating” in all instances. You do know that you can in fact be in love with someone and still stray from them in the bedroom? (Men especially since they are wired differently than women). Humans, as well as 95% of other creatures on the planet, are not monogamous.
@@AkireMaru Not true, a lot of animals are monogamous. (wolf, fox, cygnes etc) If animals can do it, then, we humans can do it too since we are more moral. If you excuse adultery, then you can excuse distrust, lies, and everything. And if you based your morality on animals, then you should say that r*pe, infanticides and many other things are ok because animals do it! Can you see how stupid is it?
I hope he can heal from his sickness. He said is wife was easy now the other woman is easy too. Something about this man is Screams RUN!! He started cheating year one but say she didn't fight for you??? She knew he was cheating for 5 years but she didn't sacrifice anything? He hasn't changed at all.
Laterras has a journey he still has to go through before he commits again, in my humble view. I discern a lot of naivety in what he might deem as maturity; especially in what authentic repentance is and the Christian standard that marriage demands. I am an ardent fan of DFW, his podcast, and I will pray that the Holy Spirit continues to reveal to him his blind spots as he goes through this journey of rediscovering love.
At first, it didn't sound like you were familiar with DFW. This interview pulls out the old not so good or nice parts of him, but he has changed and, I pray, improved. He's describing the "old him" here.
@Tedy Mugambi - I hear you, but a lot of times people who haven't fully processed trauma or whatever get out here and start teaching and sharing their experiences when the Spirit hasn't fully vetted them. The scripture says we should wait on our ministering and be sure that God sent us rather than sending ourselves.
I don’t believe he will ever be a faithful husband. How long has he been single now? If he really wanted a good woman he would have been in a relationship by now getting ready to get married. I’m so tired of men like him and I wish women would stop supporting him!!!
These men are low down boys ! Mhmmmm. Glad he had the balls to admit his truth but I also think he feels some sort of pride with how much of a cheater he was. Yuck
I can appreciate Laterras’s transparency because it’s part of his healing and the truth will set you free. There’s very few people that would write down details of infidelity and give it to their spouse. His podcasts are so pretty amazing and inspiring. I am always blessed when I watch them and he has helped me look at many things differently. Thank you for sharing this video. God bless 🌸💕
I totally agree with you Empress. I thought about his interview before commenting. Very few men and women has gotten the unction & inspiration with such grace to speak their truths and be so transparent. What came in my spirit: His sacrifice to be so open is a threat to the devil. One might never understand the magnitude of his freedom! Hey! Exposing such, he is victorious and an over comer as he works out his deliverance. Bonus: Sharing at this level, the brother is crying out for change/transformation! He has such an impactful effective ministry. He is the voice & scapegoat for hundreds of men in the kingdom. Every human being who were born in sin, the Adamic nature is to gravitate after the works of the flesh.
I think it’s toxic for someone to say they wanna leave but want you to fight for them like we’re all adults here! Ima respect your decision at the end of the day I can’t make you do sun you don’t want to
I don’t know how to feel about this video. Breeny looks stunning though. Edit: Shout out to the Holy Spirit for giving the ex-wife discernment though 🙌🏽
@@nikigracevlogs Sometimes we ignore those red flags because we have the rose colored glasses of love on. It doesn’t mean that the Holy Spirit wasn’t convicting her, she might have just ignored it.
This is the selfishness of a narcissist. He manipulated the situation for premarital sex, moved on to cheat for years, excused perpetual cheating as hurt, then told her after years of cheating… because HE was ready to fix it… and seemed disappointed that she didn’t fight against divorce. I hope she is well.
If the wife was interviewed, it would make it nearly 100% impossible to be able to tell his story with this kind of confidence. I always say, sometimes the crazy, the crazy lies in the awareness. Not the same thing but as an illustration: I once had a friend who was abusive to her child. Emotionally. But everyone would allow her a pass because she called out the abuse and would tell anyone who would listen how messed up she was. It didn't sit well with me. I once told another friend of mine, her awareness of her situation makes me uncomfortable, makes me think she isn't remorseful at all. She's creating the narrative in order to manipulate and cloud our instinctive feelings about it. Fast forward years later, her child is older and has major issues. She lacks empathy for her mother. That shows me, if her child was to have articulated her experience, there would have been no room for her mother to give her curated testimonies. I was with a cheating Man so of course I am a bit triggered but the reason I left in all honesty, was the assumptive way the sorry came across. It wasn't sincere. My ex wasn't able to slowly and thoughtfully work through why he did what he did. He was rushed in his healing. As a result he still isn't healed because even when we interact because of the kids, his energy is not clear. I wish him the best of course but let me tell you, the healing is in the silence not the declaration.
Yassss! I’m literally sitting here thinking something is not right. And it’s so interesting because I’ve watched his podcast before seeing this and thought something was just off about him. Now I get it . He is definitely a covert narc. Thank God for discernment
This boy doesn’t deserve her, he’s very low quality, cheap cheap. Sex? Y’all can’t hold a quality relationship anymore. This bores me to the core . God bless the ex wife . So proud and talking talking 😒😒🙄🙄
Unfortunately my father is just like this man. Turning 30 this year and finally have enough knowledge to know the first sign of bs within a 2 min interaction.
He wanted SO BADLY to be chosen. That "pick me" seed was rooted in him deep and early. Sounds like he spent his entire marriage trying to antagonize her into changing into a woman that would make him feel whole. NO ONE CAN MAKE YOU HAPPY; other people can only COMPLEMENT your happiness, and it's sad that he's still having to learn that. I pray he plucks that pick-me thorn and grows 💙 🙏🏿💙
It’s been 10 mins and I am already trying really hard to be opened minded. I haven’t had to try this hard in any of your other interviews. The varied perspectives are valuable. I’ll keep listening. (For context the “don’t be stingy with your vagina” comment is extremely off putting. I’m struggling with knowing whether he struggles to express what he really means or if that’s exactly what he meant. Because those particular choice of words are interesting. I could almost understand someone saying that withholding sexual intimacy in your marriage makes you feel less valued or shut out but the word choice/ demand of the “your vagina” is getting to me). I mean not once did he say he tried to figure out what he could do for his wife in order to encourage her to desire him sexually. Not even stating that is what he SHOULD have done. Gonna keep listening though.
With narcissists, it's all about them. He didn't care about his wife, and then blamed her for not responding positively to his lack of true care and concern.
He still needs an excuse. Sounds like pre marriage he often coerced his wife to sin with him. She should have left then if chastity was the goal. But he's still blaming her.
People really need to love themselves first. SMH sleeping around us totally unexpected and there is no excuse for it weather you are single or in a relationship. This is the very reason we can't get a lid on HIV. RIDICULOUS!
He's such a narc. He hasn't changed, you can tell in his language. He's trying to get Breeny to not see him in a certain way, but that's the reality of him. He deserves toxicity...it's the flavor he serves up wrapped in therapy language. He made his wife close off to him sexually by manipulating her into going against their agreement. Then after he goes to therapy blamed his ex for the frequency??? That whole foundation was destroyed plus cheating was there. She can't even trust you. Without trust you have nothing. I'm glad his ex got free.
This was an awesome discussion; it shows that even those who may despise infidelity, can step out of their relationship if they are not fulfilled in their current situation💭 it seems as though we need to be honest with ourselves and real desires before entering into a covenant of marriage💭 Thank you for sharing !x
But did he despise infidelity, if he was already cheating before he married her in the first place?! I think he is making a lot of excuses for being a serial cheater instead.
No one woman can fulfill his requirements. He needs to join a religion that allows him to marry multiple women. He is too much for one woman to handle.
22:18 you missed her point. She made a very valid point of men lying to themselves about their "marriage material" then end up mistreating and cheating on their marriage material with the other woman they claim isn't marriage material
A conversation around purity culture is needed. The pressure that is placed on women in the church to remain "clean" is directly related to our inability to pleasure our significant other and to enjoy being pleasured. There's a constant need to maintain a pureness /innocence about you even in marriage. This pressure is why we are afraid to explore sex even in a space that's meant to be safe (e.g your marital bed).
Chaste women would be happy to explore sex to its full extent with their husbands if they could trust him and felt safe in his love for them. In this instance and several similar cases, the man isn't trustworthy, let alone accountable enough to own up to his several little mess-ups. How is a woman to want sex with such a man? Let alone explore it? Much needs to be done in schooling these men about relationships and marriage.
@@estadastarbeauty2426 I disagree with you. There are just a lot of women that are so closed off when it comes to intimacy because of purity culture and even their husbands can't get them out from under there. Both suffer. And this has caused divorce for many people.
This was not a confession. It was a guy who was bragging about himself being a sex addict and a guy who is blaming his ex-wife for not wanting to participate in his lies and lack of integrity and character. This guy has not changed. He needs to admit his sex addiction in order to start the healing journey. Good luck to the next woman who will be his next victim. A change man would not brag about his unhealthy past sex habits. He needs Jesus for real.
That time you are so pressed and he is friends with his ex wife. You don't know him from a bar of soap, a 38min video has made you a prophet of his life. Are you his ex? You really seemed touched by him.
He said something very important when in pain misery loves company so when in pain you seek after pleasure that was a mouth full. And when one heals they are no longer in pain you become one with self. Thank you for this video this was truly amazing my first time coming across your channel and believe it or not I received a powerful word. Again thank you because I'm a single woman who spent several years in a broken marriage long story short today I am 53 single & spiritually Celibate now almost 6 years reason being because it took me through different stages of the healing process before I realized that I was no longer in pain once I began to share my own story with others. Blessings 🙏
I'm so glad I was introduced to the DFW podcast before I watched this because I would have really watched this with a side eye.... I can see that he has been and is definitely going through a lot of transformations for the better.
***DISCLAIMER: In this interview, I transparently shared my mindset as a broken man in a marriage that began in 2008. That's 16 years ago! The questions were geared towards the infidelity in my marriage in hopes to educate viewers of the importance of healing before "l do." DON'T MISS THE MESSAGE. I've been divorced going on 7 years now. So you are hearing about the toxic decisions of my past versus my reformed mindset. The major difference between this interview and what many of you are used to hearing from me on the Dear Future Wifey podcast is this interview was centered around the past and DFW showcases the healed present mindset and my future goals. My current mindset is committed to abstinence and killing the Goliath of infidelity.
Doing this podcast wasn’t the wisest decision. Now I really don’t believe a word you say on “dear future wifey”
What was your relationship with God like Sir? Did you at any time have a deep relationship with Him, study the Word, and pray with your ex wife? Did you just attend Church? It is telling how I am halfway through with this vid and have not heard of what your relationship with God was like. I hope you have deepened your walk since then.
Amen 💥God Bless you richly!
@@AlexiusS Interesting perspective
@@justmeja8217 Clearly my relationship with God during that time was trash. Though I attended church, I wasn't living for God. After going through a failed marriage and a toxic situationship following, I went on a journey of self discovery and restoration and documented it on The Dear Future Wifey Podcast.
My prayer is to marry a man who wants to marry me because he LOVES me, not because I'm a constant, calm, moral, anointed, Christian woman.
Yes ma’am!!!!!
Oh yeah. There's absolute power in wanting your woman and your woman alone.
Sounds like he married her because she was good on paper and “seemingly” easy, but she wasn’t really what he was attracted to in the way you should be with the person you marry. Which is no fault of her own. I chuckled when he said he was attracted to toxic women when he himself was toxic during that time. I think church and faith can definitely be a handicap for young women and attaching themselves to men who push religion, but it’s not truly their value system in a real world practical way. This proves my theory that men don’t really know what they want which is why they like to control women. He could’ve married a woman who enjoyed sex just as much as he does, but in his warped thinking he probably looked at that woman as not being worthy of marriage. So instead marry a woman he wasn’t really into and cause her damage. Smh. On the upside, I’m glad he’s grown and has changed his life. Hopefully his story can help other men. Good for his wife for moving on.
Amen🙏🏾
Marry a Man who loves HIMSELF...then he can love you.
Ladies please stay single until a man is really worthy of you.. being single really isn’t so bad
Love this!!!
Thanks 😔🙌🏽♥️
Stay single until YOU also heal yourselves.
yesss
It is since friendships too are stressful and women aren't even loyal to themselves so its impossible to expect loyalty from the opposite gender
No friends, no man equals loneliness
While you were cheating she was in prayers begging for peace for your decision and peace within her self ! That’s why there was no fight from her during the divorce. She already healed from u ❤️.
True. We leave mentally way before we physically leave
Amen to that. He wanted her to suffer. And she didn't then that messes up with his ego. He wanted to be wanted for being dishonest and stupid
Bloop!
@@monettevalliere that’s nice way of putting it. These dudes have such fragile egos.
Come on! 🗣Amen!
He basically just shared how a dude under the guise of a religion or belief system with bad character and discipline preys on women who they see as "pure" or a "good woman". It's a lot of dudes like him out here. As women, we must believe what we see and hear. These dudes are lukewarm, on the fence, self-centered, predators.
Great comment and so true.
yes!!! we've gotta trust our intuition from the roota to the toota
💯💯💯
These are the same men to say their EX was so crazy…as if it happens out of nowhere
People are not one dimensional. You can’t expect that good and kind person to stay that way if you yourself are not good and kind.
He's a textbook narcissist 😏
I told this married man to put in the same effort he's putting into pursuing me into his wife, and he'll be amazed at what happens. Let me tell you, they got back on track, and shortly after, his wife gave birth to another son. Ladies, send married men away, send them back to their wives.Donot be the reason for a broken home. Our heavenly Father sees all things and knows all things. 🙏 ❤️
Wow you are a rare one
I did the same thing with my ex, told him to concentrate on his wife instead of bringing me bad luck with my future husband. Refused to even meet with him once I found out he was married.
Amen ❤ whoa 🤯 you are amazing
Yes
Finally found you 😂they don’t make em like us no more. I wouldn’t touch someone else’s man it’s so gross and self defiling not to mention the curses women bring on them selves
CAN WE JUST APPRECIATE THE BEAUTY & PROFESSIONALISM OF BREENY
She's gorgeous!!!!
I’m so here for the Breeny appreciation post!!! She is so beautiful inside and out 😍😍
YES!!
Literally! I couldn’t help but admire her facial structure 😮💨
You’re right!! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
I feel like a lot of men have their real preferred partners but marry other women who are "wife material" because it looks good on paper, causing them to cheat with the real preference. People should just like who they like and spare others the pain and dysfunction.
I swear. May God spare us single women who aspire to get married one day.
As someone who has constantly been approached by married men, all I’ll say is married men seem to want a responsible, calm dutiful woman that will run the home, tend to the kids, tend to the wider family & also others. But when it comes to satisfying their need for pleasure, adventure & excitement, they will go elsewhere to get it.
This is why I don’t understand women running to get married out of fear of being single, then a year or so into the marriage you are again alone because that man don’t wantchu. You’re only married on paper.
Stay your ass single and WAIT for the right man to come who has no problems with commitment because he loves YOU for YOU.
@@yanikeonpurpose Agreed from a married woman. Agreed. Stay your ass single.
I agree with you because when asked what he likes about his wife, he only talks about how smart she is, good at buisness with a good head on her shoulders and unproblematic. Tbh that sounds like a job requirement; what recruiters look for. He never said anything about her physical appearance, her personality, if he loved her company, etc… In my opinion he liked the complete opposite and he even admitted that!
@@zazilicious Any time a man tells me he likes me because i'm "nice" or "would make a good mom" I cringe. That's how I know it's not about who I am, but how it would look to others.
I pray not one more woman on this planet marries a man like this and has a marriage like that. Ever again. Amen
A M E N 🙏🏻
Amen! It hurts me to see good women being abused and gaslit.
😢😢😢😢
AMEN
Man, this was deeply disturbing. My heart breaks for his ex wife. So much was emotionally stolen from her. Prayerfully, she finds healing.
Imagine the trauma she probably had w all the stuff he has done to her.
Three things that stood out to me were:
1. “She (the side piece) was around before I got married”
2. “I knew what she (my wife) would do at any moment”
3. “We’re practicing abstinence but let me just stick the head in” 😢
This is why we are taught to NEVER trust a man with female friends (especially if he acts extremely dedicated to them), NEVER be too available even if he’s your husband and NEVER marry a man who shows you he can’t stick to his decisions especially when it comes to refraining from sex! - Lack of discipline!
Definitely narcissistic behavior, I hope he's gotten all the help that he needed.
He did not love his wife while he was cheating on her for 5 years. Love does his neighbor no harm… Love is sacrificial… Love is kind… Cheating on your spouse does not fall under any definition of love that I can think of…
On another note, why would she fight for the marriage after he cheated throughout the entire marriage?
This was a 2 way street!! I agree with him totally because why wouldn't you not want to please your husband
We need to stop dating/marrying potential. If you’re with someone who doesn’t feed your soul. Why marry?
Also, he claims he’s being real. If he was being real he wouldn’t have gotten married in my opinion. He already saw the deal breakers from time
Facts J
@Juliane 👏🏼👏🏼 Yes! Marrying potential can lead you down a dark, disappointing road to nowhere 😕
@@ijuliebee it's more like... he didn't really recognize they weren't on the same page.
And how many mariges last
This missed the mark for me... he speaks about women like we are someTHING to use. Saying Amen after saying "not selfish with your vagina" doesn't excuse the blatant disrespect.
In the confines of a marriage. I've actually taken a vow of abstinence.
It’s his truth.
@@AlexiusS and that's her opinion. There is room for both.
@@malhunt7 Well said.
@@AlexiusS You did say that this video would make people view "Dear Future Wifey" content Differently.. What changed ?
Is this man actually serious? after being a serial cheater for years he's moaning about his wife not fighting to keep him. Why could he not fight for his marriage by being faithful/trying to change? The entitlement is shocking.
His ego took a hit there and he's still feeling it.
She got the same BM 🙄
typical narcissist flipping it on the other person
He clearly still has more healing to do.
@@nonhlanhlamahlangu8427 Narcissism is a mental disorder, it cannot be fixed.
I’m 8 mins into the interview and what I’ve already concluded is a woman can be all the things a man “wants” and you will still get cheated on.
Sooo she’s supposed to fight for a marriage where he cheated the whole time?? I’m so glad his ex wife moved on with her life.
I'll add to that... A woman can be all a man "wants" but not what he "needs"
I think the biggest thing is when he touched on being healed when you are healed you seek from a better space and you attract more of what will match with you.
I still can’t get over him wanting her to fight for him despite the fact that he wronged her. And he said it so confidently. Makes me sad
Men cheat on women they “need.”
@@lthomas7008 they also cheat on women who need them
The cheating had nothing to do with the wife. It had to do with the fact that he had the habit already of sleeping with multiple women. I bet the wife wanted sex, but he minimized it. Some times people make up stuff in their mind to make what they did seem like it was not as bad. He cheated in the first year. He could of sat the wife down and told her his exact feelings. He wanted a good woman without being a good man. He still doesn’t not seem like his mindset is full changed either based on how he talks. It just seems as such because he is not married.
"Wanted a good woman without being a good man" 👏👏👏💯
I agree. Serial cheaters are useless! There’s nothing they have that any woman would want after all that cheating
For her to say she doesn’t want her marriage to be based on sex … should of been a red flag for him lol
@@alvybre8505 Marriage should NEVER be based on Sex. That’s where the confusion is in this generation. What if a husband or a wife falls ill or gets into a bad accident and is unable to have sex anymore? The goal of marriage is to be a reflection of Christ’s union and to serve God through your marriage. Too many people think sex is the ultimate Goal of marriage and that is why so many marriages don’t last. I also feel though that if you are capable to then you should because Sex is an important part of marriage for both parties most times.
I agree with you. I don't think he's changed either. He needs some more deep reflection. He still hasn't taken the sinful nature of his ways seriously enough. It's a real grievance to God and to marriage to continue to minimize this problematic behavior.
I’m happy he was open to tell his story, but this was a mess. I pray everyday that I love myself enough to never allow a person like this in my presence.
I guess if we can come from brokenness be healed and in a different place to share our story , if the transparency may help others , it’s a blessing if you are in the company of gods renewed works .
SimplyCece, YES!!! And for those around me to love me enough to pray for hedges of protection around my heart, mind, and emotions as I go through that valley.
@@terracottawellness1561 Amen!!!! 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
I always watch his podcasts. I challenge you to check them out. They are life-changing blessings with multifaceted guests, and I think they MAY change your perspective on him. This is only showing one side of him and his story.
@@atlantasfaithsmom Yes, I'm sure they draw people in. That's what's so scary. No thanks.😂😂
He didn't want to marry the other woman cause she was just like him and the one he married he felt was weaker. He said he knew her moves before she made them and she wasn't much to manage, cool, and not high maintenance. She was just the perfect victim. He really wanted the other woman but he knew she was like him. She helped him cheat and would probably cheat on him, she knows the game and he knows it
Exactly!!!!and there you have it...
@@selfloveisfirst4970 yep. He knew he was safe with the wife. With the other woman sleeping with him before and during his marriage she had no respect for his relationship with the fiance then wife. He knew if she had no respect for his relationship then she wouldn't have respect for their relationship...even though he has no respect. How ironic
This comment needs to be pinned. You nailed it when you said she was “the perfect victim”
Exactly bingo!
@@yana212 that's men logic and only because society never hold them accountable. Society also includes women who keep making stewpid excuses for the cheating men
Proud of his Ex wife for choosing her self🙌🏾 Queens don’t chase! He said it was peaceful Divorcing her & nothing would’ve change it. That was her Closure🙏🏾Good for her!!
Exactly. I don't care what he was dealing with. Cheaters expose their parters to possibly STD's that might not be curable. IDGAF what made them cheat
Yes!
@@kokotatts Single Queens do not chase. But A King and A Queen rule a kingdom together. They grow together. Sex is important in a marriage no matter which way you swing it. When he said he wanted it twice a week and she said "no end of discussion". Any sex therapist will tell you that is dysfunctional. Marital sex is one of the most beautiful things ever and to treat it, as an afterthought, damages the marriage. Some psychologists even put sex as a basic human need along with food, shelter, water, safety and security. I wonder if she went to therapy herself to discover why she had so little affection for her husband. I'm not saying it's wrong. I'm saying it doesn't help the marriage stay stable and solid. But there always needs to be more understanding on both sides...He needs to understand why she has little to no libido and affection and she has to understand why he wants the sex twice a week. All people say is don't have sex before marriage and then people get married and don't know what to do and have no idea how to meet their sexuality in the middle.
It's just a fact if a man has shown you enough that he's rocking with you why deprive him of sex?
@@thehooddoctor2191 Devout Christians do not understand sex because they are never taught what to do about it. there is never a discussion in pre-marital Christian counselling about sex. That needs to change.
It's really sad how we've conditioned women to take rubbish.
How many times would you hear that a man was fasting for this serial cheater wife to change? Never!
He just leaves. If he loves her, he'll demand/plead for change … then leave if it's not changing.
Women are out here spending almost a decade, sometimes even more, with serial cheaters - praying that they change. Do you really think he'd afford you that same patience?
Sis, respect yourself enough to walk away from rubbish.
This man is not what we women need to entertain at all...the manipulation is reeking
My thoughts on this interview: I don't mind hearing his experience from a time in his life before he knew better. However, the way he delivered it seemed to lack genuine thoughtfulness, not only to his wife at the time but also to the overall situation that he is introducing your audience to for the first time. I feel like his answers/storytelling was rushed and sloppy and made him come off arrogant and not genuinely remorseful. IDK maybe he thought he was communicating his story effectively but to me, it seemed like he was trying to be funny and likable which caused him to come off in the opposite way. I'm sure he isn't the same man that he was back then but his answers don't show the audience that he is a man who truly understands the weight of his actions and words.
Perfectly said
great comment!!
You hit the nail on the head. It was rushed. The interview was supposed to be double the time but I had to get @breenylee to the airport so she wouldn't miss her flight. Fun fact: she still missed her flight anyway. I flew her to Dallas to shoot an episode for my channel and we wanted to use any extra time to shoot an episode for her platform. That's why it starts off so playful because we'd been hanging out all day. I also didn't take into account that though Breeny watches my channel and knows my story, it would be the first time being introduced to her audience and without the full circle of the story, the audience would only have a limited past perspective without hearing the current mindset.
@@DearFutureWifey She articulated very well the first impression of THIS interview. Your interviews and ministry through Dear Future Wifey are authentic, enlightening, and helpful. Your ongoing work with Kingdom men is priceless. Continue to excel and share your story. I hope people will not dismiss your worth because of the situations surrounding this interview but will visit you on your site and see the changed and committed man you have become and continually work on. Blessings and expansion.
Well said
Men like this are so scary there’s an excuse for everything he’s done. I hope he’s ex wife find peace over this situation.
Sometimes what you see as excuses aren’t actually excuses, but it explains the behavior. When you step outside yourself and heal you can see yourself better and start to understand why you did certain things even if they weren’t good.
@@BecomingZakah True, this is what growth looks like.. self work
Exactly! I just wrote a huge paragraph and then saw your comments and it's exactly what I said too.
Not really it’s not excuses what is he supposed to do cry and cry he gots to learn from it eventually lol 😂
@@BecomingZakah Right and the judgement is why most people refuse to be honest and take accountability. We are all flawed.
You don’t find love in sex. Sex is the fruit of love. Not the other way around. He is lacking self love. And he never engaged with his wife, it’s not that she didn’t talk a lot…he wasn’t interested enough in HER to discover HER. And love is an ACTION. I’m sorry but you can’t love someone while cheating on them. It’s literally the opposite of what it means to love someone. The Bible tells husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church. Aka: sacrificially. He’s not a sacrificial person.
I really like that you're using present tense. I think thisan is still hurting and there are hints of insecurity. He even thought his ex was "shooting her shot" when she said he should've been her husband, yet he is now doing all manner of talking based on the hirt he caused. The fact that he interpreted her words in that way signals someone who reads between the lines looking for hints of being loved and wanted. He thinks he is honest yet he just said he lied for 5 years. Pray for this man
Yup
@E - Beautifully said! When you said he wasn't interested enough to "discover her," I thought of how narcissists often try to pigeonhole a person or project onto them a persona that is not truly that person. Many times they see you as other than who you really are because it serves their narrative. People on here commenting about the wife's failure to have sex with him need to realize we are only getting his self-serving side of the story.
@@greenqueen2673 I'm a former wife and I loved sex with my former husband even though we were broken people hurting each other. But I've never been sexually repressed. Even if I wasn't sexually experienced, I read books about sexuality and psychosexual theory. Then it was just trying to match each other's sexual rhythm. And that rhythm didn't always match up. I had sex with my former husband many times half asleep. Lol! I was physically tired but my emotions and thoughts lined up that I wanted him to feel close to me and give him what he needed at that time. (intimacy) It was never to my detriment ( that's sexual abuse) and I never felt coerced or forced ( yes marital rape is a thing) We always fell asleep in each other's arms afterwards. Sex done right relaxes your body and mind. You shouldn't feel dirty, guilty, abandoned, used or violated afterwards. One or twice a week is not excessive or a very high libido so his request especially that early on in the marriage was not unreasonable. Because he was broken, instead of trying to fix the marriage, he looked outside the marriage, cause for some reason a lot of men think sex fixes everything....it doesn't. Value and respect sex otherwise it could destroy you.
Say what???his wife is not here??? He is giving his perspective..his wife is private
I’m so glad to see so many women “seeing through” his efforts to be genuine. Ladies… run from men like this. I see not one fruit of the spirit in this man. Not marriage material at this point..
I thought I was the only one! All the single, divorced men with podcast! Lord help!
Thank you!!! For him to be a "born again Christian" he's still struggling with the spirit of fornication, and what a lot of people don't know is that fornication turns into Adultery if not delivered from it BEFORE marriage. I speak from experience. Both me and my ex husband FORNICATED to until our wedding night and later in the marriage that spirit grew into ADULTERY. If anyone claims to be a Christian it's imperative that we ask God to cleanse us from unclean spirits. Sex is glorious.....but only within the compounds of HOLY MATRIMONY.
He is talking about what he was or use to do. Not who he is now.
@@candacieamsterdam4857 obviously. However it’s in the way that he states what “he did” and “who he was” that shows there has been not been a significant amount of change. It’s eyes that can see which causes one to see these things. Based off his language and body language.. I see not much remorse or repentance. I’d be all for him.. if I seen more brokenness in this video. More repentance.
@@raquellpn7482 THAT PART. Plus the narcissism. He broke this women and expected her to fight for the marriage even though he knew it wouldn't change his decision about divorce. And took it a step further to perk up post divorce when she said she was the wife he should have stayed with and ask "was this her shooting her shot." Like he is so focused on self. He doesn't seem to have remorse, and doesn't seem to be the man of god he tries to portray himself as online.
Lesson: when someone shows you who they are believe them. He cheated before marriage, is extremely arrogant. Takes no accountability. Religious without a relationship. He also comes off as controlling.
**Ladies trust your intuition. If this convo makes you cringe your not alone. He seems very narcissistic. Protect yourself because you may be all that you have.
YEEEEESS hell no to that guy and whatever he is doing rn wth
Amen sister ty for your words I feel triggered and uncomfortable just listening to this man and I’m grateful to u for pointing out my intuition. Bless u and ur intuition and all of us women ❤️
He sounds religious but I don’t hear Christ when he speaks. He speaks vulgar and then forces the interviewer to say amen. He knows his spirit isn’t right so he manipulates. I cringed when she conformed.
@@dianawilliams6700 wow you said it perfectly , blessings
So it’s not just me?! He came off very cringey.
I feel like he married her profile - businesslike, church going, non-attitude - and interchanged that for compatibility and did not marry for friendship, passion, love and purpose. Over time, the cheating and her nonchalantness in divorce were unfortunate results in their union. Honestly, I almost made that mistake myself SEVERAL times, and despite your best intentions, you just don't know what you just don't know...
Dont want a woman "stingy with *her* vagina" ???????????????????That tell me everything i need to know
Right it’s the ownership of someone’s body for me 😒
Yep
absolutely.I nearly switched off there.Had to pause and come to it a few days later.THat. was vulgar talk , reflective of his mindset , even is we're keeping it. 'real'
A married, praying, cheating man. God, please make it stop.☹️
It don’t make no sense
@@ayanainnocent7664 makes perfect sense to me
The truth that no one can bear since monogamy/religion is socialised in us, is that men are not naturally monogamous…. It is what it is..
@@ayo1232 Some men are naturally monogamous. However... even the ones that aren't are called to have integrity and self control... to control their flesh...as this is what's best for everyone involved. It leads to better and more positive results for the children, the couple and everyone in society.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
He has a big fat blind spot when it comes to his shadow (“dark side”). Breeny dropped a *gem* right in front of him and shined the light on it at 21:05. He didn’t even recognize it - or, he couldn’t/wouldn’t see it - so he breezed right by it with denial (“I’m not like that. I’m real. I’m honest about what I desire.”) because he isn’t self-aware of this part of himself. Or, he is aware of it and doesn’t want to accept it. Breeny was so kind. I don’t know if I could’ve let that pass. I heard his answer and immediately thought, 🗣 “You’re one of the men she’s talking about! How do you not see this about yourself?!”
The women he desires are the type he actually wants. They just don’t fit the image he wants to (publicly) present because they’re not “respectable,” they don’t fit into what he thinks his wife *should* be. What we desire can be completely different than the image of ourselves we want to present, speaking to Breeny’s point.
Until we accept ourselves, who we are, and what we actually want, we’ll never reconcile the gap between image (societal expectations) vs. reality which means we’ll continue to live an inauthentic life. It seems like he’s still lying to himself about what he wants. He wants a freak, not a “good girl.” He probably could find the freak he likes, marry her, be satisfied and finally at peace if he cared less about image.
Exactly but a freak doesn't mean a bad girl. He is weird asf. He has some inner issues and he knows he probably has a not so nice reputation so he is trying to clean it up with a person that looks good on paper..then have the nerve to say someone else isn't marriage material like he is 🤣🤣🤣 man you a whole man *hore lol
Freak is such a negative way to define all sexuality. We must stop dumping so much in the freak bucket.
I noticed the same thing! What she said didn’t sink in at all
You’re so right. His response was cringe! Breeny just had to let that one roll. This guy is entirely cringe… eeeek!
His podcast is transformative. Don't get lost in the medium; his message and interviewees stories' ARE healing. And he doesn't focus on himself as much on his podcast; he really allows his guests a platform and space to share their experiences and there are lessons and wisdom in them. I find myself feeling like I wish his episodes were longer when they're already an hour plus in length!
True. I enjoy his podcast very much and how he conducts himself and really LISTEN to his quest. That's what's wrong with this 🌎.Too much fake to please the society& not enough honesty that could help someone else going thru the same thing. He's also very funny. Joyous spirit. I didn't know what happened during this interview I have never seen him come offish like that. Maybe there was something else going on.
As much as he's "telling his truth" and talks about "his journey" blah blah blah, he still very much talks with a level of pride when he talks about his affairs.
Clearly he still has a longggggggg way to go, because theres not enough remorse here.
Sorry to his ex wife.
(no means for disrespect, just gaging in dialog)How long is he expected to speak with remorse? Sometimes from the "victim" lens, we hold this cloud over people with an expectation that they should carry that shadow around with them. However, while these are extreme learning moments, at the the end of the day, it is still a learning moment, as all of us have. None of us, no matter the circumstance, should have to walk around with guilt, but instead should grow and own our new selves.
More like.....so HAPPY for his EX wife! She dodged a military strength grenade with this one 🤣
Maybe if you take some time to check out his utube channel Dear Future Wifey you would understand him a little more
@@DearFutureWifey people are coming for you in these comments. No offense to them, because I'm a woman too and I get it, but they sound like women who haven't healed from being cheated on and so they're not recieving you well. I hope the recognize that at some point
@@elle_l808l I know right! God built me for this. God can't heal what we won't reveal. It took a lot of inner work for me to finally walk in freedom. One of the biggest fears I had was sharing about my infidelity in Season One of my podcast. I felt as if it would be career suicide and preferred to leave it in the past, since I was no longer married. However, God had other plans and told me to share my journey. Now, because of it... I've helped so many men become faithful and leave adulterous relationships. I've taken a vow of abstinence and other men have followed. I'm accountable to Christ alone.
He was already cheating before the marriage he was always a cheater. Never marry a man who shows you he's not your husband. I would have been out, no forgiveness.
Amen to THIS 🌟
I heard that men who are unable to wait and control themselves in dating ie be abstinence are going to use that same lack of self control to cheat on you in marriage I’m going to keep that in mind moving on.
I was just thinking about this. If the man courting me asks to "let him get the tip in", that is a HUGE red flag and I would really reconsider things moving forward. I mean, that's supposed to be the head of the house and that's his will power? That being said, I appreciated the interview and his testimony.
Keep that in mind honey. Take it from a married woman
Yes! When I heard that I thought she should cut him off. What Christian man makes light of Formication
@@lilibe92 , I read head of the house differently 😅. Talk about double entendre.
It is hard for some men not all but men can wait that's what prayer is for, but we forget to pray when we are weak, for him it was sexual but for others it may be hours of tv. The first mistake was them being alone.
He mentioned his ex- wife didn’t want to fight for the marriage….he wasn’t worth fighting for.
Exactly
💯
Exactly May he come down with impotence
Amen. He’s a dork.
Why have to fight for a cheater? It’s wasting time 😂
Dear Ex-wifey...We the people are HAPPY you didn't fight for this man.
I support this message!
So are the men!
Absolutely
WOW! I'm only 8 minutes in, and I'm disappointed in his behavior. He says "amen" behind wayyy too much, mainly behind his comments about sex, and THEN wanting you to say "amen" in agreeance with him. That's wild. Saying, "don't judge me" in reference to him "just putting the head in" into a bunch of women in his younger years, as if he shouldn't be judging himself on that and admitting that was wrong, is bothersome. We ALL have things to work on, but he still has a lot of pride and ego attached to him. He probably should have waited to do this interview.
@@inspiritandtruthchannel yeah that was bothersome. He needs to assess his relationship with sex, it seems like there's an issue there
Exactly that was so uncomfortable when he said Amen like that tf
I felt the same way… very distasteful and poorly thought out … the Amens were so hard to listen to
Let people be human. Damn!! The way some people talk it’s as if their entire existence is laced in perfection. People are flawed! No one is perfect. His background is in theatre as he said, so he’ll naturally be an ott theatrical person. Just take the main message, use it to inform yourself & others where applicable, & give this man some grace.
@@yanikeonpurpose honestly!! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
In this whole interview, he contradicts himself over and over. LADIES THIS IS WHY Tony Gaskin always says LISTEN WHEN A MAN TALKS HE WILL TELL YOU EXACTLY WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW.
Hmmm! I'm curious to know exacty what you feel is "contradicting" in his message?
He’s attention seeking and I’ve found that ppl like this have had a brokenness from their childhood
We can’t pretend like we as black Woman are celibate saint virgins
While his cheating was deplorable and sinful against the Bible how is adultery more sinful than fornication?
@@yolandawilliams2753 Please re-watch the video with a listening ear.
For anyone defending or agreeing all, I can say is.
Would you go on a date or entertain a man who speaks about his past spouse?
marriage/relationship that shows zero accountability and responsibility.
Healing comes from a place of accountability, true healing won't even address the other person's actions.
To heal is about you.
Just has forgiveness
And let's add this when you look back on the past trauma you inflicted on others and self
there is no joke or grins about it.
It's genuine remorse and holding yourself accountable.
Not once did I hear this man say I should do this, man am sorry for not doing this, when I look back I see where I could, etc.
I am sorry for doing etc.
He can fool yall.
Jehovah God has standards to be his friend, do not mock his name.
When someone shows you who they are, believe them.
BTW I love Breeny and have been watching her videos.
They dated for seven years. I’m sure they both said and showed each other a lot. Maybe they both were distracted with just the goal of marriage- not marriage to the best option for them.
@@Mi.JA.Goddess Well said👏👏👏👏
The biggest lesson I got from this entire interview is COMMUNICATION. Once y'all stop talking about the things you're feeling, experiencing etc you drift off onto seperate pages in the book. The only way to stay on the same page is by being vulnerable and transparent. Just communicate. A conversation might not fix everything but it atleast allows both parties to understand each other's perspective. And in turn, this may lead to less drama, friction, irritability and potentially even unfaithfulness.
Excactly !!!
But if only one is communicating(which happens alot😔) it is nothing you can do. Some people just want to go wayward.
@@blueseptember2174 Ofcourse communication is a two-way street, can't work if only one person is willing. Also I agree, some people are just wayward but it's also very easy to spot those types. Usually God will bombard us with all these red flags lol more often than not we ignore the flags. At the very beginning if someone shows you signs that they aren't ready for a long-term commitment or aren't willing to work for one......leave. Never pour yourself into a broken vessel.
Communication means nothing when the person is cheating before ur married and cheating in the first year of marriage. He knew better - that’s why he’s gaslight her when she had questions. She was communicating her concerns and he was shutting her down. ‘communication’ being the best relationship advice is BS when you understand that people will do you how they wanna do you in relationships and you can’t control that one bit
This is bs and you know it he just wanted to be a ho and have a homemaker at home too on the call. He is the worst of the worst to ever be married to
Why would she fight for a marriage that you are cheating on her in. RESPECT to the ex wife.
Ok so I’m 20 min in and now I understand why sex should be saved for marriage. I have always known it’s a gateway to stuff but hearing this story makes it more realistic. Had he not had sex with that one woman before his marriage, he would not have had those thoughts about her that made him curious when he saw her. Wow. It’s really a trap God be knowing
Damn right
Not really. If you've only been with one woman, you can still conjure up thoughts of another person you find attractive. In fact, I feel like you can even romanticize even more because you haven't experienced that person in that way. People who want to cheat, will cheat. I like that sex after marriage at least shows me that as a man, you're willing to exercise self control in moments of lust.
So the other woman tried to stop him from getting married and he continued to get married just to cheat with the same woman…. Why lock a woman down in that kind of almost permanent way if you’re not gonna FULLY step up to the plate ??
Exactly. He said he slept with her before they were married and the fiance knew and still moved forward and married him. He had already showed his lack of integrity and disrespect towards the relationship then. Being married was not gonna change anything. He was always a cheater.
My slogan is that" marriage is NOT a cure towards lust" and he must find a way of acknowledging that women are NOT sex OBJECTS...🤔
She sounds like a women who is wholly emotionally connected to her sexuality. Men like him are ignorant to the fact that intimacy and romance begins when you wake up every morning. A woman such as his ex-wife, needs to feel loved, respected and protected, before giving herself sexually. He wasn’t willing to learn that, as he was only interested in his own gratification. Abstinence doesn’t guarantee he won’t return to those habits.
@@Gem-n-life Abstinence won't guarantee he stops talking about sex in ways like "share your vagina" As much as abstinence and celibacy are great, they can disconnect you from your sexuality and if you are disconnected from your sexuality.....you are not going to connect to another person sexually well either. So from one extreme Hypersexuality to the other Abstinence and celibacy. I don't think human beings are designed to be in either one. There has to be balanced. Give sex and sexuality the honour, respect and value it deserves. Otherwise, you get hurt by sex.
She locked herself . She needed to think so I'm not good for marriage but bangs?
Let’s not glamorize him he caused so much pain for this women
She caused the pain by not sleeping with her husband 🤷🏽♂️
@@Avogadros_number facts
@@Avogadros_number Not the same.
@@Avogadros_numberlmao hes literally a sex addict
@@Avogadros_number He set himself up by marrying a woman he KNEW didn't have the same sexual appetite he had just because she was "wife material."Men marry women who are prudes claiming that a modest/prudent woman is "marriage material" and then later blame, shame, and cheat on those women for the same reason they deemed them worthy of marriage. JUST. MARRY. A HO.
It is so important to be with someone equally yoked. He and his ex wife, when it came to sex wanted different things. She didn’t care for sex like that and he did. The conversation about sex should have been had while he was courting her. Good for him for being honest and he is right our opinions of him do not matter. However, please, for anyone who wants to wait before marriage or healed enough to invite someone into your space or whatever space you are in, communicate wants,needs, and values. It is so important. Good luck to him and I hope his ex is doing well.
Yeah
They were unequally yoked educationally
I remember my aunt always said don’t marry down
Sounds like Ex wife led him on
What man in his right mind would marry a woman if he couldn’t get bountiful sex
That’s like the carrot on the stick, aka the motivator for a man to commit to one woman
@@chrisharris2367 Amen
He is not honest. He is bragging. He is not honest about the reason why he has that unhealthy sex habit.
"The conversation about sex should've been had"
Unfortunately in Christian courtships conversations like these are seen as taboo. I also feel it's important to know where you both stand sexually. Drive, frequency, is oral sex on the table? etc. You don't have to go into detail about the specifics too much, but it is a very necessary conversation to have. While sex isn't the only thing that makes a relationship, it does play a major role as far as intimacy. Even in spirit-filled relationships (in this case we're obviously talking about marriage relationship). Sex is afterall God's creation like everything else. He created that union for the glory of His name. And y'all can't glorify God as man and wife with an unhappy sex life🤷🏾♀️ All the different aspects of a relationship equally contribute towards its success in my opinion, including sex.
people with narcissistic traits never own up to anything.... observe how he makes excuses for everything. 💀
Yes, and the jokes that open up in the beginning and throughout the interview.
It's sad that women are listening to this trash. If it was a eoman that had cheated BM would not let her be. They would label her a ho for life
How is sharing your honest experience an excuse ? People who are narcissistic often struggle with lying more than they do being “transparent” . That’s what y’all seem to miss in all your narcissistic diagnosis. Every negative behavior HAS. A root and has a cause . That’s a FACT . When a person shares those realities it means they took the time to process their experiences. Again a rarity for someone who is a narcissist .
So you didn't watch the video?
@@RearviewWisdom Thank you for breaking this down.
5 minutes in listening to this man is nauseating God Bless you Breeny for this interview 🙏🏽
Clearly this man was not on his wifes level in terms of being a quality person. He says he loved her but loved other women's 😺 kitty more than he loved her. He says he's real except for those 5 years he slept with other woman and kept it a secret with his wife. He says it was better to sleep with more than one woman so he wouldn't feel so bad about another woman replacing his wife. I MEAN 😆 this is a joke and he really deserves another woman that's on his level that will act and think like him. I'm glad he divorced her, he did her a favor. She deserves alot better!
Bruh imagine asking your man why did you cheat on me with multiple women and he responds "so one woman wont feel special" like tf??!!
@@yana212 🤣🤣 that's some narcissistic type of response
🤣🤣🤣🤣
The sad thing is that men like this are very good at avoiding women that will treat them the same way. Instead they're very savvy at hunting and trapping good women then turning around and blaming them for not being nasty enough.
Not at all what I expected… but in life just listening and truly hearing what is being said- it will change your life. I’m 23 years old, I don’t know how but God brought Breeny’s content to me in a time where I needed it. Her work was ministering to my spirit… and still does. All I will say is before any of you decides to say anything- negative or otherwise disrespectful- be careful. It’s easy to criticize what you’ve never experienced. It’s not a necessity to agree with everything someone says, does, or believes- in order to learn from them. Anyhow, I’m excited for the next one… there is a lesson in every interview. The renewing of the mind is a powerful thing, and it can change the trajectory of a person’s life.
Wise young Queen.
Amen. It will transform your life.
An individual has to experience infidelity to give a take on why its the wrong decision to make in a marriage ? Are there truly negative ? or are they highlighting his true character ? Can't come into agreement with anything because you want to maintain calm waters in life.
Yes ma’am! That last part holds so much power. Renew your mind!
True true
It’s interesting that men like this will continuously point the finger at the women for what was lacking in the relationship. Yet, if the women speaks on what she needs from the man then it turns to “nagging” or “being too emotional”. He treated her like a body with no soul once he couldn’t be pleased sexually.
The constant double standards in relationships is what causes the downfall. If his wife cheated in anyway, I doubt he would stick around to work things out.
After reading through a lot of these comments, it seems that the need for sex is constantly downplayed for men. Women can have needs for communication, etc. and if that need isn’t being met we can find it elsewhere and we don’t have to cheat to full it. With sex men can’t do that. There are women that will marry men who want to love them sexually and they want to do it once a year and they expect him to just deny that need because he loves you, it’s very hard.
@@trinaesther1388 you just said a mouth full! Great analysis the difference on women would do, and what a man would do!❣️
@@trinaesther1388 His wife was already having sex with him even before they got married and it was to the point that he thought it would be good to marry her. What changed? I'll tell you what. He treated her shabbily. Many men need to learn that when a woman isn't treated with care over an extended amount of time, she gets turned off. The only way to turn her back on is to be kind, considerate and forbearing for yet an extended amount of time. The sheer fact that she didn't mind him masturbating tells you she already checked out of the marriage a long time before he ever brought up a divorce; which turned out to be just a manipulative ploy of his to get her to care enough to desperately want to keep his sorry ass, but she was done. If he treated her lovingly and made her feel cared for and protected by him, perhaps she'd care enough to "fight". He was the leader of that marriage and lead it to a crash.
@Trina Esther that's why people get married they need to communicate and be committed he was already trifling before hand like the marriage was doomed before it even happen. Sex is on the top 5 list of things I have as a need in a marriage I would constantly nag my husband for sex and yet he always claimed he wasn't in the mood as it turned out he could never be because he was out there having sex with other women before he came home to me the guilt of looking at someone you know loves you endlessly knowing you are unknowingly to her cheating I don't believe this man for 1 second is telling the whole truth he comes off very narcissistic
@@trinaesther1388 Of course but a marriage is about meeting each other’s need. Dr Myles MUNROE talked about it very clearly: a man needs sex, a woman needs communication and affection. You cannot skip communication and don’t dhow affection to a woman and expect her to meet your needs for sex.
This guys makes it all about him! I need this, give me that, “I want my wife to feel she’s inadequate “… how sick
Breeny keeping her composure during some of the moments were hysterical. 😂
lol right when he said "we were waiting to have sex but we did not wait to have sex does that make sense?" Breeny with the straight face, "no" "...that's still sex" 🤣
Until I walk a day in someone’s shoes, I continue to remain apprehensive when commenting on matters concerning a person’s response or behaviour. This is between him and God. It’s not for anyone to pass judgement. All we can do is learn. No matter what people think, such opinions don’t change the facts. This was a very informative discussion. We should all take lessons learned from this, and see how to apply it in our lives. Hopefully from this we can make better decisions in life.
Facts!
Nope. Once your info. is out there, people will comment whether you like it or not.
that's nice for you to uphold for yourself. don't go judging other people's reactions just because you feel differently.
Nah, this is too common of an offense, for you to treat it as that... It is what it is... He's a Dog. Roof!
It’s also between him and all the people he’s hurt I think
The setup is so beautiful. Radiating talk show host energy.
Now. Imagine if a woman used the same excuses. “Gtfoh! She for the streets!!!”
Yeah she would get super dragged 🤣🤣🤣 game over!!
I watch Dear Future Wifey Podcast and i do feel like I seen a different side to Laterras in this video but it’s not what everyone may think. I see a man who is still embarrassed by his actions so he makes light of them. I see a man who is still not comfortable with his vulnerability and this was the first time he detailed his affairs. Watching a lot of his own videos he never detailed to this extent what happened and as a viewer I gathered he cheated once based on how he tells the story and not multiple times with multiple women so that was a surprise to me. I think he comes across arrogant because he is still fighting to own what he did and also value who he is now regardless of his past. I think it still bothers him a lot and he is hurt that his ex wife didn’t fight. There is definitely a lack of self worth still there and he hasn’t fully stepped into what God fully says about him. If I didn’t know his story on his platform and watch his videos I would think he was an eff boy still but today I just see a man who is still struggling with the truth and transparency and is still in need of transformation. I believe I heard him say in his videos that he is now celibate. That is the best thing for him to do because he has to gain control of his sexual desires. Finding a woman who desires sex as much as him will just be a bonus to the marriage. But he has to submit his sexuality to God first and gain discipline. He also has to truly own that he has a high desire for sex that stand out of “I’m just a man” his desire is rooted in pain within himself that wants to release. Sex should be a vehicle for love but what happens when something else is in the driver seat of it. I am still rooting for Laterras because he is like a lot of men in the Christian space. Struggling to be in the world but not of it. And struggling to be sexually disciplined and not use marriage as a scape goat to abuse it and your partner. Praying for all the men dealing with his reality and the struggles of being a man for God.
Well said
So that irritates me the most! How is he going to ruin his marriage then get hurt because his ex-wife chose her peace over his abuse, manipulation and mistreatment? He does not have the right to be hurt by a woman HE dogged out so deceptively, with zero consideration. I'm sorry but I can't take his pain in that area seriously! He needs to grow up! Any pain he has is self-inflicted! This is why podcast single males irk me. Everything you described is immaturity.
I agree. I’m a bit surprised by how critical the comments are. I think it’s good to be able to listen to someone tell their story without making a bunch of judgments about how they should express themselves while doing so. I don’t think he is sharing this to ask the audience for forgiveness. I think he has gone through a process of trying to understand himself and his behavior and is focused on that.
@@OneTwo-yw4ij I completely understand that point of view. We don't have to sympathize with him; he was (and clearly still is in some ways) selfish and not fully matured. The way I took it is that we don't have to excuse him hurting her. We can love and pray for and stand for and with her, and still forgive him spiritually for allowing his hurt and immaturity to rule him.
I don't watch him, but I enjoyed his openness and see what you're saying. I liked his delivery, even though a lot of times I didn't like his truth. Everything he said was so relatable to me, and even though I never cheated in my marriage, a lot of the topics he touched on, I struggled with, but never put into words. I pray he continues to share, because the healing I received from this I want for everybody.
I wish I could hear his wife's perspective; she was probably working hard, maintaining a home, running a business, or maybe she felt unsatisfied sexually or thought he was selfish- things that may require brutal honesty and the help of a counselor.
I absolutely think that we need to hear her story!!!
The reason why she stopped sleeping with him was because he was cheating! Smh he’s nasty
I wonder what he brought to the relationship...I keep hearing...I want, I want!
Great point
Check out his utube channel Dear Future Wifey
Cheating apparently 🥴 I watched his episodes on his channel he acts so different on there be careful ladies they really wear different masks
LMAO right this guy even said his wife wasn't willing to sacrifice what the hell ? He couldn't sacrifice sleeping with other women when he was married which is just a basic rule
@@TheLalab4 this is exactly what I’m seeing … wow
This man is so self aware and honest. The average man is just like this but doesn’t admit it. Applause to this man for educating us so we can protect ourselves
I’m an honesty guy. Cheated for five years and confessed after five years. Denying the type of woman that you are truly interested in. Don’t marry her because she didn’t have the qualities of your wife but cheated on your wife with her. He’s not being honest with himself
At all..
When he says “he’s real” “he’s honest” I don’t believe he realizes the contradiction.
A woman has to feel loved, protected, heard and DESIRED in order to build sexual intimacy. How could she open up sexually when clearly his attention was elsewhere in YEAR 1?! It seems like something else was going on with his ex wife and I’d love to hear how SHE felt about him within the marriage. Side note: He said she wouldn’t talk a lot, I bet she just wasn’t talking TO HIM. 😂
That was my thought too. He showed that he had no desire to be in relationship with her by cheating. How is that an environment in which a partner feels safe enough to communicate whatever heart hurts that she had experienced. We weren't in their marriage but I know that if I don't feel safe or seen I'm not receptive sexually or emotionally.
I’m so happy to see that we are all seeing through this facade of “healing”
The production! The quality! I can’t wait to watch this one ♥️ These are the open and raw conversations we need to be having.
Sis!!! I’m just like if we gonna bring content, put some effort into it. It’s not that hard to rent a nice hotel room, hire a camera man & put on some nice clothes. I’m so proud of this & proud of how she’s elevating the UK content game. 🔥
My take on cheating has always been that it is selfish, emotionally lazy people, who, instead of working on their relationships with their partner or having the decency to walk away before humiliating the other person, decide to lie and break the covenant they pledged to someone else. They unilaterally decide that if they're not getting what they want in a relationship, it's ok to find it elsewhere. Once your moral boundaries are that lax, there will always be an excuse that could be used to cheat. Nobody is perfect. Even if the wife gave him sex whenever he wanted it, the next complaint is that she doesn't perform at the level he wants it. And if she did all the nasty, freaky things he wanted, it will then be, she's too freaky. People who think it's justifiable to cheat will always cheat. There is no such thing as a reformed cheater. It's like eggs. There's no reassembling the eggs from an omelet. This man will go back to his old ways in no time, IMO.
Facts. Cheaters never reform.
sad but true
I agree. Well put.
@@deliteful1991 they can, people don't understand he said key word his mentality wasn't right, he was fighting demons Adam and Eve fell because they listen to the devil if they had resisted the devil the world wouldn't know sin.
My goodness, ur absolutely RIGHT 👍🏾💜
Hes the one that for 5 years cheated and then blames it on the ex wife and says she didnt fight for the marriage💀
I hope he’s still in therapy! He’s not healed. He said a whole bunch of nothing giving me a headache 🤕…Everything is about him & what he wants like he’s the prize. 🤷🏽♀️ Sad state of affairs with a lot of our men.
I actually had a man tell me that he was the prize. Smh
I cringed the whole interview. These men are disgusting and selfish. His self esteem is so low. He married a woman he didn’t really desire and put her through such a terrible experience just to get his ego stroked.
I didnt expect him to give these kind of answers, because a lot of it sounded very lustful and almost boasting. Even in a rushed setting you should be able to express your thoughts and experiences in a decent way. Im also wondering why your are constantly talking about what your ex wife did, for you to do these things.
In the actions that led to a partnership - Marriage falling apart we must be able to focus on what we could have done better and honestly I didn't hear a lot of that, but more so talking about the sexual act and type of engagement that you want to have.
It seems that the ex wife was emotionally distant coming into the marriage because of the disrespect going in before marriage, but agreed to stay, and if she was the one who would pray over you Guys, what was his contribution on that part. It seemed like there was no real foundation to begin with.
Yeah, that's the part that's disappointing. It's a lot of pointing the finger. Even his comment in the thread, he's blaming being rushed and Breeny's flight. Not just saying yeah, I didn't even realize this....
Very true
"your healed version may not like what your broken version was attracted to." WORD!
Amen
Amen nothing. He was married. Being healed means honoring your vows. You better pray till God calls you home but don't you dare marry a woman ruin her life and emotions and "heal" then divorce be cause your adultery robbed her of a faithful safe marriage.
Very insightful. Thank you for your vulnerability. Often times we don’t get to see men speak about these things and this conversation is much needed. I hope more men take accountability for their actions & get therapy to heal their brokenness so that they don’t bleed on other people.
Lord just keep these types away from me 😭 Cause imma be gone girl
Pressuring someone into saying “AMEN” to your nonsense is crazy! This guy is SICK 😷 🤮! All he talked about was his needs, HIS sexual needs in the marriage but not once he talked about what he was bringing to the table ! That’s a narcissist right there! Ladies, 🏃🏾♀️ run for your life
🗣Pause “Did you love your wife?” YES
The worst lies are the lies we tell ourselves….he should have said he loved her, but not enough NOT to cheat on her for 5 years. Dear God please don’t ever send me that type of love Amen “you gotta say Amen” 🙄
😂 Amen sis!
@@estadastarbeauty2426
He said he loved her (like he loved his dog) but was not in love with her.
My problem with that statement is it implies that love is enough to stop “cheating” in all instances. You do know that you can in fact be in love with someone and still stray from them in the bedroom? (Men especially since they are wired differently than women). Humans, as well as 95% of other creatures on the planet, are not monogamous.
@@AkireMaru Not true, a lot of animals are monogamous. (wolf, fox, cygnes etc)
If animals can do it, then, we humans can do it too since we are more moral.
If you excuse adultery, then you can excuse distrust, lies, and everything.
And if you based your morality on animals, then you should say that r*pe, infanticides and many other things are ok because animals do it! Can you see how stupid is it?
@Chichi Okolo you can be if you choose to staying faithful is easy it's cheating that is hard. Imagine never going home to peace because you cheating
I hope he can heal from his sickness. He said is wife was easy now the other woman is easy too. Something about this man is Screams RUN!! He started cheating year one but say she didn't fight for you??? She knew he was cheating for 5 years but she didn't sacrifice anything? He hasn't changed at all.
Laterras has a journey he still has to go through before he commits again, in my humble view. I discern a lot of naivety in what he might deem as maturity; especially in what authentic repentance is and the Christian standard that marriage demands. I am an ardent fan of DFW, his podcast, and I will pray that the Holy Spirit continues to reveal to him his blind spots as he goes through this journey of rediscovering love.
At first, it didn't sound like you were familiar with DFW. This interview pulls out the old not so good or nice parts of him, but he has changed and, I pray, improved. He's describing the "old him" here.
@Tedy Mugambi - I hear you, but a lot of times people who haven't fully processed trauma or whatever get out here and start teaching and sharing their experiences when the Spirit hasn't fully vetted them. The scripture says we should wait on our ministering and be sure that God sent us rather than sending ourselves.
I agree
I don’t believe he will ever be a faithful husband. How long has he been single now? If he really wanted a good woman he would have been in a relationship by now getting ready to get married. I’m so tired of men like him and I wish women would stop supporting him!!!
@@Lovelyone1 you want him to get married according to your timeline
These men are low down boys ! Mhmmmm. Glad he had the balls to admit his truth but I also think he feels some sort of pride with how much of a cheater he was. Yuck
Have you watched his utube channel Dear Future Wifey?
He is free from the shame of the past and sharing to help others get free.
That’s crazy you got that from one interview. Maybe watch his podcast or follow him.
I can appreciate Laterras’s transparency because it’s part of his healing and the truth will set you free. There’s very few people that would write down details of infidelity and give it to their spouse. His podcasts are so pretty amazing and inspiring. I am always blessed when I watch them and he has helped me look at many things differently. Thank you for sharing this video. God bless 🌸💕
I totally agree with you Empress.
I thought about his interview before commenting.
Very few men and women has gotten the unction & inspiration with such grace to speak their truths and be so transparent.
What came in my spirit: His sacrifice to be so open is a threat to the devil.
One might never understand the magnitude of his freedom!
Hey! Exposing such, he is victorious and an over comer as he works out his deliverance.
Bonus: Sharing at this level, the brother is crying out for change/transformation!
He has such an impactful effective ministry. He is the voice & scapegoat for hundreds of men in the kingdom.
Every human being who were born in sin, the Adamic nature is to gravitate after the works of the flesh.
This part! We pray that his sharing is out of pure-ness.
Derrick Jaxn, did the same. Lol That was to devalue and break down his wife. Narcissistic men will do that.
I think it’s toxic for someone to say they wanna leave but want you to fight for them like we’re all adults here! Ima respect your decision at the end of the day I can’t make you do sun you don’t want to
it's extremely narcissistic, typical narcissistic behaviour.
I don’t know how to feel about this video. Breeny looks stunning though.
Edit: Shout out to the Holy Spirit for giving the ex-wife discernment though 🙌🏽
Not sure about the discernment.. or even the obvious red flag when he cheated during their engagement. She should’ve broke it off then.
@@nikigracevlogs Sometimes we ignore those red flags because we have the rose colored glasses of love on. It doesn’t mean that the Holy Spirit wasn’t convicting her, she might have just ignored it.
This is the selfishness of a narcissist. He manipulated the situation for premarital sex, moved on to cheat for years, excused perpetual cheating as hurt, then told her after years of cheating… because HE was ready to fix it… and seemed disappointed that she didn’t fight against divorce. I hope she is well.
If the wife was interviewed, it would make it nearly 100% impossible to be able to tell his story with this kind of confidence. I always say, sometimes the crazy, the crazy lies in the awareness. Not the same thing but as an illustration: I once had a friend who was abusive to her child. Emotionally. But everyone would allow her a pass because she called out the abuse and would tell anyone who would listen how messed up she was. It didn't sit well with me. I once told another friend of mine, her awareness of her situation makes me uncomfortable, makes me think she isn't remorseful at all. She's creating the narrative in order to manipulate and cloud our instinctive feelings about it. Fast forward years later, her child is older and has major issues. She lacks empathy for her mother. That shows me, if her child was to have articulated her experience, there would have been no room for her mother to give her curated testimonies.
I was with a cheating Man so of course I am a bit triggered but the reason I left in all honesty, was the assumptive way the sorry came across. It wasn't sincere. My ex wasn't able to slowly and thoughtfully work through why he did what he did. He was rushed in his healing. As a result he still isn't healed because even when we interact because of the kids, his energy is not clear. I wish him the best of course but let me tell you, the healing is in the silence not the declaration.
That’s good good….. the healing is in the silence and not in the declaration.
A vulnérable narcissist at its best acting 🙌
He reminds me of a covert narc ex. Same pathology.
Exactly! When you see one, you can’t unsee it
Yassss! I’m literally sitting here thinking something is not right. And it’s so interesting because I’ve watched his podcast before seeing this and thought something was just off about him. Now I get it . He is definitely a covert narc. Thank God for discernment
I’m 8 mins in and speechless 😶
This boy doesn’t deserve her, he’s very low quality, cheap cheap. Sex? Y’all can’t hold a quality relationship anymore. This bores me to the core . God bless the ex wife . So proud and talking talking 😒😒🙄🙄
Not even cute and cheating 🙄
Rit?!!!
I find him handsome. And you don't need to be dropdead gorgeous to cheat, you just need someone to find you attractive
@@elle_l808lI'm actually his twin🤭
🤣🤣🤣🤣
😭😭
Sex before marriage and cheating
What god are you talking about
I just asked this question a couple comments ago. Christian only by title.
There is nothing humourous about being disobedient to Gods word. It is a false witness to people outside the faith.
Unfortunately my father is just like this man. Turning 30 this year and finally have enough knowledge to know the first sign of bs within a 2 min interaction.
He wanted SO BADLY to be chosen. That "pick me" seed was rooted in him deep and early. Sounds like he spent his entire marriage trying to antagonize her into changing into a woman that would make him feel whole. NO ONE CAN MAKE YOU HAPPY; other people can only COMPLEMENT your happiness, and it's sad that he's still having to learn that. I pray he plucks that pick-me thorn and grows 💙 🙏🏿💙
It’s been 10 mins and I am already trying really hard to be opened minded. I haven’t had to try this hard in any of your other interviews. The varied perspectives are valuable. I’ll keep listening. (For context the “don’t be stingy with your vagina” comment is extremely off putting. I’m struggling with knowing whether he struggles to express what he really means or if that’s exactly what he meant. Because those particular choice of words are interesting. I could almost understand someone saying that withholding sexual intimacy in your marriage makes you feel less valued or shut out but the word choice/ demand of the “your vagina” is getting to me). I mean not once did he say he tried to figure out what he could do for his wife in order to encourage her to desire him sexually. Not even stating that is what he SHOULD have done. Gonna keep listening though.
In his mind, women are to be conquered.
Yup
With narcissists, it's all about them. He didn't care about his wife, and then blamed her for not responding positively to his lack of true care and concern.
@@greenqueen2673 right. He’s giving trash to me and I’m not interested in hearing anything else he has to say.
He still needs an excuse. Sounds like pre marriage he often coerced his wife to sin with him. She should have left then if chastity was the goal. But he's still blaming her.
Don’t mean to judge but this man sound so selfish and worldly, all I heard is me me me me, I want I want I want.
People really need to love themselves first. SMH sleeping around us totally unexpected and there is no excuse for it weather you are single or in a relationship. This is the very reason we can't get a lid on HIV. RIDICULOUS!
He's such a narc. He hasn't changed, you can tell in his language. He's trying to get Breeny to not see him in a certain way, but that's the reality of him. He deserves toxicity...it's the flavor he serves up wrapped in therapy language. He made his wife close off to him sexually by manipulating her into going against their agreement. Then after he goes to therapy blamed his ex for the frequency??? That whole foundation was destroyed plus cheating was there. She can't even trust you. Without trust you have nothing. I'm glad his ex got free.
That part
He reminds me of my children’s father, looks and the behavior is the same. I lived it, I thought I could sit here and listen, but i can’t.
This guy is weird! I can’t finish watching it after 10 min
🤣😂😂😂😂🤣🤣
I hope he has her permission to discuss her...He really should still protect this woman he was so drawn to...Not Attractive!
This was an awesome discussion; it shows that even those who may despise infidelity, can step out of their relationship if they are not fulfilled in their current situation💭 it seems as though we need to be honest with ourselves and real desires before entering into a covenant of marriage💭
Thank you for sharing !x
No, it shows that he did.
@@OneTwo-yw4ij ok
But did he despise infidelity, if he was already cheating before he married her in the first place?! I think he is making a lot of excuses for being a serial cheater instead.
No one woman can fulfill his requirements. He needs to join a religion that allows him to marry multiple women. He is too much for one woman to handle.
I watched this 2 times in disbelief, my friends think I’m crazy because I always say I’m never getting married. This is crazy to me.
Get married just not to a person like him. I believe God has someone for everyone that will treat you right but people like him, run.
22:18 you missed her point. She made a very valid point of men lying to themselves about their "marriage material" then end up mistreating and cheating on their marriage material with the other woman they claim isn't marriage material
So true
A conversation around purity culture is needed. The pressure that is placed on women in the church to remain "clean" is directly related to our inability to pleasure our significant other and to enjoy being pleasured. There's a constant need to maintain a pureness /innocence about you even in marriage. This pressure is why we are afraid to explore sex even in a space that's meant to be safe (e.g your marital bed).
That is very true
Teach
So true!!!
Chaste women would be happy to explore sex to its full extent with their husbands if they could trust him and felt safe in his love for them. In this instance and several similar cases, the man isn't trustworthy, let alone accountable enough to own up to his several little mess-ups. How is a woman to want sex with such a man? Let alone explore it? Much needs to be done in schooling these men about relationships and marriage.
@@estadastarbeauty2426 I disagree with you. There are just a lot of women that are so closed off when it comes to intimacy because of purity culture and even their husbands can't get them out from under there. Both suffer. And this has caused divorce for many people.
This was not a confession. It was a guy who was bragging about himself being a sex addict and a guy who is blaming his ex-wife for not wanting to participate in his lies and lack of integrity and character. This guy has not changed. He needs to admit his sex addiction in order to start the healing journey. Good luck to the next woman who will be his next victim. A change man would not brag about his unhealthy past sex habits. He needs Jesus for real.
That time you are so pressed and he is friends with his ex wife. You don't know him from a bar of soap, a 38min video has made you a prophet of his life.
Are you his ex? You really seemed touched by him.
you cant be serious
@@dimakatsokatso7805 you the one pressed over someone else's comment. Ya'll be so gullible for these *horing men. Stop being captain save a !@*
Stop being so judgmental
Who'd wanna be with him if he cheated once he'll do it again
you’d be surprised by how many women lower their standards in order to feel “loved”
@@ali3nsuperstar I wouldn't call been a cheat love but I do get it especially if you don't feel loved
@@keiron.4612 i’m saying some women will overlook his “faults” in order to feel that way. doesn’t mean he’s actually loving them lol
low maintenance wild
@@ali3nsuperstar would you overlook them
He said something very important when in pain misery loves company so when in pain you seek after pleasure that was a mouth full. And when one heals they are no longer in pain you become one with self. Thank you for this video this was truly amazing my first time coming across your channel and believe it or not I received a powerful word. Again thank you because I'm a single woman who spent several years in a broken marriage long story short today I am 53 single & spiritually Celibate now almost 6 years reason being because it took me through different stages of the healing process before I realized that I was no longer in pain once I began to share my own story with others. Blessings 🙏
I'm so glad I was introduced to the DFW podcast before I watched this because I would have really watched this with a side eye.... I can see that he has been and is definitely going through a lot of transformations for the better.