How can you ever trust anyone again after narc abuse? Lying narcs are my magnet in life. Whether it’s family, friends, co-workers. It’s accompanied by crazy making. I’ve cut everyone out and look like the crazy one.
Hun, I'd love you to check out my inner transformational resources. My free 16 day course is a great place to start: www.youcanthriveprogram.com/freecourse Love and blessings xoxox
@@kchild71 check you birth chart that suppose 7th house lord is mercury and is in 6,8,12 or 2 i would suggest you to be careful with relationships and people and even with 11th house lord.Even planets in 7th house isnt considered good
@@rohithreddy75 i don't really know how to properly read mine. All i know is that i am a Double Sag with Aquarius rising and i believe a stellium in Sag? Like i have the sun, moon, Mars, Mercury and soneting ekse in Sag. I also have Pluto in libra in my 7th house. What's weird is that my husband of 25 years is a Libra, born year of the snake. I am a horse and life path 47/11. I have been through monumental hell with this man....i take it to mean that my marriage with this libra is not only toxic asf, but doomed to fail? Is that what y'all are saying?
I'm really struggling with my physical and emotional health after 25 years with my narc. When I look back on who I was, I I just can't believe that I've allowed myself to sink to the level I have. I've been doing the NARP programme since last year and though I know I still have a way to go, it has helped me to identify exactly what I am dealing with and I'm slowly turning my life around. The changes in me have also helped my son enormously and I'm so grateful for that. 🙏❤
Sarah L I’ve only been with my narc for 10 years and he’s nearly destroyed me.. I can’t imagine how you’ve survived 25 years with a narc. I really hope you’re ok.. I’m glad you’re able to get help. I don’t even know where to go to get help. I feel trapped.
@@debraanchante3661 Oh, I'm so sorry Debra. ❤ It was such a gradual decline for me and because of my childhool issues, I saw his arrogance as attractive for a number of years (Yes, I know that sounds crazy and it makes me feel quite ill writing that now!). I think they all vary and some can love bomb, devalue and discard quicker than others. Mine was very slow and I am also to blame as I did not want to comprehend what was right under my nose. I believe we can get through and be better than before if we face the truth and heal our old wounds. Then we'll never be a magnet to them again. I've found the NARP programme an amazing source of knowledge, support and comfort. If I ever feel that niggling sense of doubt or loss of confidence, I either find one of Mels videos or release it with one of her healings on the programme. I have set my heart on getting out and thriving. Hugest hugs to you honey. You can do this. There is so much support out there. ❤❤❤❤❤
Butterfly Luv is it not your religion? I’m trapped because of my own religion.. I’m working with my minister to be able to divorce my narc and continue to be a member in good standing. I will not let him take my faith away from me.. but if it wasn’t my beliefs I’d leave him so fast.. why can’t you leave? I’m not being judgmental, I’m truly interested. People have told me to get a new religion., they don’t realize that I love my church.. I was raised in it and my dad was a minister. My narc came into my church in his 50’.. he doesn’t live a faith-filled life as he led me to believe he did. I’m not giving up my church but I’m working on getting exposed for the fraud that he is.
We can't prevent the pain but we can control the suffering. Just know a narcissit will never find happiness. They are like a cancer that try to attach themselves to whoever exposes themselves to them. They live a life of desperation looking from one source to the other. It is sad but also very destructive to people that tried to love them. Remember its not you. It didnt matter what you did or what you didnt do in the relationship. No matter what it's never enough for a narcissist. I was programmed when a child to find a great woman and get married. Now I know I dont NEED someone in my life. I continue to grow in loving myself. Once you can do that everything else will fall in place. And you will feel a freedom that you never knew.
Yes! So do I. Had to look in the mirror and admit to myself that I had ignored my gut or pretty damning evidence against them for far too long. NEVER AGAIN!
It's really lucky if you get abandoned by some of these types!!! It's not in the narcissist's best interest to open your eyes. You're the only one who can save yourself!
Nora Charles Just yesterday (after watching Mel's vids and reading her blog on narcissism) I moved from asking forgiveness to forgiving myself for being so naive and gullible. It was very liberating. Praise God! Thank you, Jesus! 😇🙏❤️
I have been dealing with obsessive non stop thoughts. I feel a bit of relief just knowing it isn't just me. I sent one of your links to my therapist so she can check out your program of recovery and healing. Thank you
I saw this guy’s dark side once for ten minutes a year and a half ago and I am still trying to fully process it. Cannot even imagine what those of you who had to live with this went through. GOD BLESS!!
I was married to a narcissist for 8 years but with him 10yrs before I married him. I didn’t want to marry him but I hurt myself at work and he took advantage of my situation with pain meds and he talked me into going to Elko Nevada I hadn’t been there I started drinking and next thing I knew he had me in a chapel that are everywhere, I started crying when I said I do. Manipulating me while I was taking pain medicine and drinking they’re sick and wrong men and people.
I stopped believing in the "Person I have been waiting for all my life"..."THE PERSON meant for me"..."The one that was the right one for me for all my life!"!! *All gone...Those illusions and fantasies I lived in most of my life and kept searching for the majority of my existence.* No different than my Narc Foo who promised me ALL THAT and I never knew it once but GAVE the OPPOSITE! Searching for love all my life...and never found it! I found me though...and some good people. That is enough for me! TYSM, Melanie!
I can’t believe this channel doesn’t have more subscribers. It’s always like that when the info is REAL. Thank you for sharing; my life has been changed.
He never supported my goals He disempowered me and abused my children, his step children! I am now pretty much unemployable I have no family, at all I feel dead at this point
You're coming back to life. I don't talk to my family of origin anymore except for my parents. You can pick your friends but you can't pick your family and you can get your needs met that way. I consider all you commenters brothers and sisters from another mother and it helps me immensely. You're all pulling me out of hell. Thank you so much!
I think this is the clearest elucidation of your view that I've heard. Great work, and POWERFUL PERSPECTIVE. And even more, powerful healing system. Thanks for helping me to free myself Melanie. Love you and your work.
I have watched countless videos, read countless books, and articles on narcissism and healing from narcissistic abuse. I feel like I know (mentally) all that I could possibly know about narcissism, and everything I read or watched was just rehashing all that I learned. Nothing clicked with me as far as a path to healing from parents and in-laws with NPD that I struggle daily. I didn’t understand why I kept encountering and befriending people with many of the same narcissistic traits I dealt with from my family all my life. Your message holds truths I wasn’t prepared to face until this morning. Thank you, I will be saving this video to watch again when I need to. Since I can’t go no contact with some of the toxic people in my life, I will need this gentle reminder that I am empowered with all the knowledge, tools and self awareness now, to keep healthy, watertight boundaries while maintaining my self worth, well being and positive outlook on life. Thanks again, and Bright Faery Blessings!
You are such a wonderful friend to all narc abuse survivors. You give us a feeling that we are not alone and that you are leading us the way from darkness to light. I have been doing NARP for 3 years and it is a life saver. I doubt there is any better way to heal from this. Thank you for saving lives.
Hi Edna thank you for your beautiful words. I'm so pleased the NARP www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp has helped you so much!! You are so welcome and thank you for being such an inspiration xoxox
You are truly brilliant and gentle. Not only your understanding of how narcissistic abuse works but your whole approach to seeing how and why we get hooked. This is the hardest part, to build the whole inner self, to unhook ourselves. The hook is so insidious that it is sewn into our very existence. Especially as a child of a narcissistic abusing parent. Or in some cases, two of them.
Try dealing with a narc mother who has a cast of minions as a support group to try and destroy you. They are good at portraying themselves as weak and helpless to gain favoritism from everyone and paint you as the crazy bad person.
Message me nismo fury. I have A 9 years situation Fri. Hell re narc mother and flying monkeys. Too pls message me here we need to talk medical abusers. Too narcassist ic system
I've been watching your videos for several months now and some days I feel as though they are literally saving my life. Everything you describe is so spot on that it becomes impossible to deny. That said, I clearly have so much more to learn and so much healing to do because still today, this man can bring me to emotional depths I never knew existed with a single conversation. My situation is further complicated because we have a child together and so when I stand strong, limit contact as much as possible, resist his attempts to pull me back into the cycle, then he resolves to use our daughter to hurt me. I then feel the need to try to appease him or reason with him to protect her. Of course that's never the result. 100% of the time, the result is him bringing me to my knees emotionally and leaves me feeling worthless, hopeless, and like I'm losing my sanity. I often find myself asking "why do I keep allowing him to do this to me?". This video gave a great start to answering that question.
What an insightful analysis! It IS a wonderful, beautiful feeling to know our worth and value and to be blessed with the discernment that we gained through going through this lesson. Our homework assignments relate to this experience and one of them is resisting the temptation to continue to see ourselves as victims. Feeling victimized is like licking your wounds- it feels soothing somehow. But the next step after healing is realizing that the wound is now healed and like a broken bone that has mended, is now stronger than it was before. We can rejoice because we have reached a new level in our development and in a way, the narcissist actually assisted in that healing by being the vehicle through which we would learn. We have much love yet still to offer those who are worthy and we no longer cast our pearls before swine❤️
So beautifully, eloquently and articulately put Melanie, thank you. Profound and sobering truths, seeing the real person after removing gaslighting sugar coated pink sunglasses. Much love from London 🙏❤️
So beautifully articulated! The other side of this journey makes the journey worth it - a healed integrated self reliant and dependable self! The best part of when you can apologise to yourself for the shit you accepted in the past because you didn’t know better to protect yourself in the best possible way! Ps. Just think how horrible it feel to be a narcissist! How they break you is their permanent state of being when they don’t have anyone to mess with. Tortured souls…
I lucked out...only 6 months and I was just beside myself with anxiety. The amazing blessing of this was that I was able to finally recognize this pattern and am diligently working to heal and do the work to never allow this again. It's still hard, but so thankful than I'm growing and healing. Thank you for all of your amazing information, education and love ❤️❤️
I turn inward to meet my true self that is valuable, lovable and worthy, just because I am. Love for myself with humility and gratitude. Thanks, Melanie.
A powerful video. Really claiming our own part in the relationship , our co-dependency and lack of self love, and forgetting about the narc's ever taking any responsibility isn't easy. My narc was in my life from day one and helped to give me the very insecurities that I now I have to claim as my own. But in so doing, we have the chance to now know our infinite worth and to thrive.
Im turning inwards to become my own true savior now! Thank you narcissist for your gift, ripping all the old crusty scabs off all the old, festering, childhood wounds. Thank Melanie for your message of truth, hope, and healing!
Perfect description at the beginning. That's EXACTLY how it feels. ....I am now completely crippled by my narcissist family and have developed multiple autoimmune diseases so that I can't wk and can't leave. Perfect for them, a scapegoat forever 😭
Thank you Melanie. My healing is going so much faster an easier because of these great videos you share with us. I was a in a relationship with a narc woman 11 years older than me. Everything you say about this type of people is sadly true. It is so relieving to now why they act like they do and what was the real reason they came into our life. The truth will set us free.
I'm still married to mine. But he will never hurt me the same way again. I am turning inward to become my own savior with God's help. Thank you Beautiful!!
Whoa...you are clarifying things so much for me right now...I can't get rid of my brother...we just went through my elderly mother's passing, and 'family' stuff...my brother has called nearly every day since...I let it go 4 days when he didn't call...I didnt want to call him. He's brutal. He really is. He called, fifth day. He says things about people I find unnecessary and even really offensive, but the worst part is he's waiting for me to fail, so he can lord it over me for the rest of our lives. He's gotta be the 'hero'. And he's really nicie-nicie now but I KNOW him and I KNOW how empty and soul-less he is. It has been hurting me inside bc he's waiting. I hate when he uses the N-word so he makes sure to do it all he can...it's like he's testing me, expecting one day I'll join in. It's like they want to take the things that are important to you and see if you'll sell yourself out. Now I know that's part of testing boundaries. But my real question is, why can't I just accept what he is and talk to him anyway, just dont let it bother me. Like it won't happen THIS time. Now I know: bc he WILL do it again...he always does....and for me emo pain is way worse than physical pain. He knows those vulnerabilities. He's wanted to destroy me since we were tiny kids. It really isnt any different now. I have to accept that. I want to focus on me but I always give myself 2 excuses: he's my only family & I dont wanna hurt his feelings, and I'm pushin' 60 with no one...although I do have 4 dearly loved feline family members. I'm full of plans for my future and I'm moving in that direction but there's always a sinking feeling that 'my brother is waiting for me to fail'....it travels in to how I feel about myself. He's a piece of work. I have cut off from him before. I think I'm just desperate to feel like now that my mother's gone he must realise he ought to be compassionate & supportive but I know that's fantasy. I can feel it. He even talks about my sister but I know he means me. It's me...I know it is...there is some thing I have not yet reached within myself. It breaks me down just to listen to the crap that comes out of his mouth. I've gotten so I can see red flags & act on them...and have. My brother knows I'll block calls so he backs off a lot, agrees, appears to have suddenly become a reasonable person. He knows I feel alone and vulnerable living out of state & have been divorced just long enough to feel grateful for that divorce. I'm too old to put up with anyone's bs. For some reason I keep putting up with my brother. Going to have to listen to this a few times. I know it's connected to the way I feel about myself. I gotta wake tf up. (I stopped & wrote down that mantra💜)
I didn't know anything about narcissism. So I am learning. I am a recovering person who sees this learning as an extension of my 12 step program. I want to change to have a better life. I am the one responsible for that change if I am going to have a healthier life. I am in therapy with a gifted woman who is pointing out my 'cracks' lovingly. I am grateful to be actively engaged in self improvement.
@@Crowgirl05 you will do this, you will get out. Just keep watching the videos, do some reaching out. Think in terms of this is life or death. If the desire to get the fk out then just do it, make a way. You can. Us humans are remarkable resilient creatures.
@@Crowgirl05 I felt that way too. Whatever you do, just keep reaching out(you people that understand. These vile people have one motive, to covertly destroy another without making it look like there is no evidence that they are the cause. Write a list of things that will get u unstuck. Short term and long term.
It's been several months since I went no contact with several individuals. My emotional failing was they were long term friends and members of my extended family and we were going to do mutually supportive endeavors. They kept taking and demanding and nothing good was coming back to me. I now feel the complete disconnect and have no desire to have any further contact. But they haven't grasped that concept and keep sending out feelers to try to reconnect. I'm glad I have such unpleasant memories of our interactions. Detachment, going inward and healing myself was my only path to salvation. Amen.
Hi Melanie its only been 7 weeks no contact with my narc boyfriend he nearly destroyed me it is so hard but after finding your videos they have been helping so much take care
Encouraging someone who has always been the parent to be the parent is not really of service. I can hear compassion in your voice, and that is part of why your “only” message is so maddening and hurtful. As adults, we did survive. The tools to we honed from nothing no longer serve us. The mandate to pick ourselves up by our own bootstraps, even if delivered by silk is still cruel, and frankly just more of the message we’ve always gotten from patronizing counseling. Meanwhile the narcissist continues laughing this off.
My narc is my youngest daughter. She punished me and my other children until we detached from her over a month and a half ago. We are struggling with PTSD and also codependency. Your videos have helped me so much!!!
Thanks as always Melanie for your wonderful work on this subject! I starting watching you a few months ago and today I literally feel like a new person. So grateful to you! 🙏💜😘
Thank you so very much for all your videos! Since I started your video and stumble with one of them where you talked about your narcissistic experience and you said that you can too can heal and get your life back. Since then, I started to realised that it was a narcissistic abused. I then started to take actions. It wasnt easy in the beginning because first it was relatives 2nd I felt that I was deeply bonded to them. It helps a lot when I started to take the journey within and there everythings falls into places. I am a halfway away farther from that black hole. You helped me a lot through your videos. Its true that knowledge is power. Im still ripping off the shells that the narcissists put on me but I felt so much better now, I still continue my journey to my over all healing. I am just cocern about my behaviour sometimes that my children see. I have traumas that really surprised me. Its deep seated trauma since I was 5 yrs old when my narcistics relative drowning me over and over again. I wanted to heal from to stop that old pattern. Begin a new life with my children and living normal. Your my angel and my mentor! Love and blessings
Hi Philipa, Im so pleased you are wnting to heal for you and your children, and that you are getting to the bottom of it. Are you working with NARP www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp ? it has the ability to take your healing journey to an unprecedented and much more powerful level. Much love to you and your children Philipa xoxox
I am turning inward to become my own true savior now: 17:18 Trying to reason with a narc is like repeating the same thing over and over, expecting a different result=insanity!
I moved 1 year ago to get away from narcs. It's my daughter and her long term boyfriend. They tried to make me go crazy, stroke me out. Poisoned me, gave me mersa intentionally etc...My grown son is living there now. Narcs are still getting mail there. My son made him mad by telling him he's cancelling their mail there. Well...now our mail is missing on and off. My check was gone last month. I guess I'll get some cameras. He's so sneaky. I don't know if it will do any good. He out and out told me, he would destroy my home, and I would never catch him. Every day...something would be torn up. He summons demons. I've seen him posessed. I'm worried for my son.
Hello Melanie Tonia Evans. I were told today that no matter where I go/relocate that I’m still going to have the problem from my abusive spouse and family members that are Jehovah’s Witnesses. When I were attending the Kingdom Hall years ago, an elder of their congregation stated while giving a talk based on scriptural experiences chuckled while saying, “The only way out of this is suicide.” I still lives with my abuser and have anyway out.
Butterfly Luv you can get out. There is always a way, I suggest getting support from a domestic abuse support organisation. Even if it’s not physical abuse the mere fact that you feel you cannot escape shows you are in crisis. Please stay strong. Watch these videos. Do the free 16 day course that Melanie offers. But PLEASE know that you can get out of this. Where are you based? Can you please contact domestic abuse support and begin your journey to escape and heal. Sending love 💓
SoulBeuaty this may help blog.melanietoniaevans.com/how-to-set-boundaries-with-a-narcissist-if-you-cant-go-no-contact/ . Also, have you come into my free masterclass www.melanietoniaevans.com/masterclass because this is the essential training to be able to anchor into and deliver boundaries powerfully, with any toxic person in your life. I hope this helps xoxox
Both my stepdad and sister are textbook narcissists. NOTHING is ever good enough for them, it's their way or the highway, and once I have nothing to offer, I am of no value to them. The most disturbing trait amongst the both of them however is the complete void of empathy and sheer inability to truly care about me the way I do for them. It is now my goal to remove the both of them out of my life COMPLETELY.
30 years ago before I knew what this was I escaped my abuser with my young children. These many years later I’m heartbroken in the biggest way to find out my daughter is also a covert narcissist and I realize I let her abuse me because I couldn’t let go. She meant so much to me. She really dropped her mask right after I got attached to my brand new granddaughter. Triangulation and many lies later. I’m in more pain then ever after she texted like a black widow spider that she never loved me and was only pretending, and that I was a stupid fool for believing it. Doing NARP, lesson learned the hard way. I can see it so clearly now, I didn’t want to believe in all the evil. She has all the cards (my in laws think I’m a monster) and will destroy her new boyfriend and their baby which is hard to swallow. I also went to a shop that helped me pick out a crystal bracelet to help me with the horrible nightmares that I wear at night. My family thought I was crazy the first time this happened with my ex. But they are narcissistic also so of course they loved to persecute me who had always been the scapegoat. The way I see it now, if I can survive this heartbreak I’ll be strong enough to survive anything. Losing a lost “love” is completely different then giving birth to a child who is incapable of loving you. When I realized all my little inside jokes and things I treasured meant nothing/were nothing I thought I was going to die. And that everything I did to protect her from her narcissist dad meant zero to her and she actually punished me over the years because of doing what was right. I was frozen the time she said, dad could die and it wouldn’t mean anything to me. I corrected her thinking she was trying to get a rise out of me. I didn’t want to believe I could give birth to someone who is without a soul and who thinks the same way about me and everyone else. No wonder I’ve been getting sicker and sicker the longer I stayed around her. Source please protect my granddaughter and her father who know nothing of what she is. Unfortunately only sorrow awaits.
I really wish there was more focus on the biochemical and nutritional needs of those who have suffered narcissistic abuse. That's what I thought this was going to be about. Not more behavioral information that most of us know already. This kind of abuse severally depletes the endocrine and nervous system. People can get extremely ill or lose their mental balance completely. There is nutrition that you can and must have to rebuild yourself. Can someone please talk about that! Can we talk about Vitamin B, magnesium deficiencies? Blood pressure control? Insulin resistance? Obesity? It's all related to the depleted state that your body is left in after this kind of repeated trauma. Some people can't heal because they lack the physiological state to make it possible. It's literally like the bible says of trying to put new wine into old depleted wine sacks. It won't hold or not for long. If you don't hear anything else, hear this...if you don't get away from these people and get into the business of healing you, you're life is on the line. LITERALLY. Self care is not selfish, it is an absolute, essential MUST.
Hun I agree with you, I'm not a health professional or practitioner but I agree Self-care alongside deep inner healing is very important and we can research to understand how best to support our systems. Love and blessings xoxox
@@MelanieToniaEvans, they literally go hand in hand. You can’t have one without the other. I just feel practitioners of all disciplines need to do their due diligence and highlight the absolute necessity of healing on all levels. It’s a disservice to do otherwise. To hold the expectation that people should heal when they literally physically are not able because they are in most cases immune compromised. It’s like expecting blind people to physically see.
You may find nutritional support from a gentleman called The Medical Medium. Because yes to fresh fruits and vegetables as the mainstay of our nutrition. I’m 65 years, have been on a quest for health and authenticity since 15 years of age. So many layers to healing…..but listening to our true self is empowering and healing. Thank you Melanie
Amazing, everything you said it clicks! Thank you! I really appreciate your kindness to help us to understand what we go through with narcissism abuse. Do we ever get cured? My heart and my soul are often broken with the memories that never leave me. Am l going to feel broken for ever? Thank you with great generosity deep from my heart. I have to say a prayer for you this evening. I understand a lot after watching you tonight. Sending you kindness❤.
How can you ever trust anyone again after narc abuse? Lying narcs are my magnet in life. Whether it’s family, friends, co-workers. It’s accompanied by crazy making. I’ve cut everyone out and look like the crazy one.
Hun, I'd love you to check out my inner transformational resources. My free 16 day course is a great place to start: www.youcanthriveprogram.com/freecourse Love and blessings xoxox
check your 7th,11 house Planet ruler where its in .If its in 6,8,12,2 house in birth chart then dont expect you'll find good people around you.
rohith reddy June. Mercury? Probably explains it.
@@kchild71 check you birth chart that suppose 7th house lord is mercury and is in 6,8,12 or 2 i would suggest you to be careful with relationships and people and even with 11th house lord.Even planets in 7th house isnt considered good
@@rohithreddy75 i don't really know how to properly read mine. All i know is that i am a Double Sag with Aquarius rising and i believe a stellium in Sag? Like i have the sun, moon, Mars, Mercury and soneting ekse in Sag. I also have Pluto in libra in my 7th house. What's weird is that my husband of 25 years is a Libra, born year of the snake. I am a horse and life path 47/11. I have been through monumental hell with this man....i take it to mean that my marriage with this libra is not only toxic asf, but doomed to fail? Is that what y'all are saying?
I'm really struggling with my physical and emotional health after 25 years with my narc. When I look back on who I was, I I just can't believe that I've allowed myself to sink to the level I have. I've been doing the NARP programme since last year and though I know I still have a way to go, it has helped me to identify exactly what I am dealing with and I'm slowly turning my life around. The changes in me have also helped my son enormously and I'm so grateful for that. 🙏❤
Sarah L I’ve only been with my narc for 10 years and he’s nearly destroyed me.. I can’t imagine how you’ve survived 25 years with a narc. I really hope you’re ok.. I’m glad you’re able to get help. I don’t even know where to go to get help. I feel trapped.
I am entrapped, because of my spouse religion.
@@debraanchante3661 Oh, I'm so sorry Debra. ❤ It was such a gradual decline for me and because of my childhool issues, I saw his arrogance as attractive for a number of years (Yes, I know that sounds crazy and it makes me feel quite ill writing that now!). I think they all vary and some can love bomb, devalue and discard quicker than others. Mine was very slow and I am also to blame as I did not want to comprehend what was right under my nose. I believe we can get through and be better than before if we face the truth and heal our old wounds. Then we'll never be a magnet to them again. I've found the NARP programme an amazing source of knowledge, support and comfort. If I ever feel that niggling sense of doubt or loss of confidence, I either find one of Mels videos or release it with one of her healings on the programme. I have set my heart on getting out and thriving. Hugest hugs to you honey. You can do this. There is so much support out there. ❤❤❤❤❤
Butterfly Luv is it not your religion? I’m trapped because of my own religion.. I’m working with my minister to be able to divorce my narc and continue to be a member in good standing. I will not let him take my faith away from me.. but if it wasn’t my beliefs I’d leave him so fast.. why can’t you leave? I’m not being judgmental, I’m truly interested. People have told me to get a new religion., they don’t realize that I love my church.. I was raised in it and my dad was a minister. My narc came into my church in his 50’.. he doesn’t live a faith-filled life as he led me to believe he did. I’m not giving up my church but I’m working on getting exposed for the fraud that he is.
We can't prevent the pain but we can control the suffering. Just know a narcissit will never find happiness. They are like a cancer that try to attach themselves to whoever exposes themselves to them. They live a life of desperation looking from one source to the other. It is sad but also very destructive to people that tried to love them. Remember its not you. It didnt matter what you did or what you didnt do in the relationship. No matter what it's never enough for a narcissist. I was programmed when a child to find a great woman and get married. Now I know I dont NEED someone in my life. I continue to grow in loving myself. Once you can do that everything else will fall in place. And you will feel a freedom that you never knew.
I take full responsibility that’s why I know this will NEVER happen to me again!!! Ever!!!
Yes! So do I. Had to look in the mirror and admit to myself that I had ignored my gut or pretty damning evidence against them for far too long. NEVER AGAIN!
I'm turning inwards to be my own true savior
You are turning inwards to be your own true savior now; I am doing the work also. Success
@@newtimesnow Congrats, warrior!
I'm turning inwards to be my own true savior. 😷
It's really lucky if you get abandoned by some of these types!!! It's not in the narcissist's best interest to open your eyes. You're the only one who can save yourself!
It has taken me 3 yrs to begin to feel normal again. My nervous system was completely broken down.
Im inviting The Holy Spirit in ♥️ Lord Jesus Christ, thank you for helping me. I am responsible for myself!!!!! ❤
@@sailingaeolus
I agree. They are.
Nora Charles
Just yesterday (after watching Mel's vids and reading her blog on narcissism) I moved from asking forgiveness to forgiving myself for being so naive and gullible. It was very liberating. Praise God! Thank you, Jesus! 😇🙏❤️
I have been dealing with obsessive non stop thoughts. I feel a bit of relief just knowing it isn't just me. I sent one of your links to my therapist so she can check out your program of recovery and healing. Thank you
I saw this guy’s dark side once for ten minutes a year and a half ago and I am still trying to fully process it. Cannot even imagine what those of you who had to live with this went through. GOD BLESS!!
I was married to a narcissist for 8 years but with him 10yrs before I married him. I didn’t want to marry him but I hurt myself at work and he took advantage of my situation with pain meds and he talked me into going to Elko Nevada I hadn’t been there I started drinking and next thing I knew he had me in a chapel that are everywhere, I started crying when I said I do. Manipulating me while I was taking pain medicine and drinking they’re sick and wrong men and people.
My situation had many similar elements... Thank goodness Melanie has made this information available for us to begin our journey to heal from this.
Ohh ,slave to subtell words
I stopped believing in the "Person I have been waiting for all my life"..."THE PERSON meant for me"..."The one that was the right one for me for all my life!"!! *All gone...Those illusions and fantasies I lived in most of my life and kept searching for the majority of my existence.* No different than my Narc Foo who promised me ALL THAT and I never knew it once but GAVE the OPPOSITE! Searching for love all my life...and never found it! I found me though...and some good people. That is enough for me! TYSM, Melanie!
Ohh, luv yo self firs,rest will come Anna go
I can’t believe this channel doesn’t have more subscribers. It’s always like that when the info is REAL. Thank you for sharing; my life has been changed.
He never supported my goals
He disempowered me and abused my children, his step children!
I am now pretty much unemployable
I have no family, at all
I feel dead at this point
You're coming back to life. I don't talk to my family of origin anymore except for my parents. You can pick your friends but you can't pick your family and you can get your needs met that way. I consider all you commenters brothers and sisters from another mother and it helps me immensely. You're all pulling me out of hell. Thank you so much!
I think this is the clearest elucidation of your view that I've heard. Great work, and POWERFUL PERSPECTIVE. And even more, powerful healing system. Thanks for helping me to free myself Melanie. Love you and your work.
I have watched countless videos, read countless books, and articles on narcissism and healing from narcissistic abuse. I feel like I know (mentally) all that I could possibly know about narcissism, and everything I read or watched was just rehashing all that I learned. Nothing clicked with me as far as a path to healing from parents and in-laws with NPD that I struggle daily. I didn’t understand why I kept encountering and befriending people with many of the same narcissistic traits I dealt with from my family all my life. Your message holds truths I wasn’t prepared to face until this morning. Thank you, I will be saving this video to watch again when I need to. Since I can’t go no contact with some of the toxic people in my life, I will need this gentle reminder that I am empowered with all the knowledge, tools and self awareness now, to keep healthy, watertight boundaries while maintaining my self worth, well being and positive outlook on life. Thanks again, and Bright Faery Blessings!
You are such a wonderful friend to all narc abuse survivors. You give us a feeling that we are not alone and that you are leading us the way from darkness to light. I have been doing NARP for 3 years and it is a life saver. I doubt there is any better way to heal from this. Thank you for saving lives.
Hi Edna thank you for your beautiful words. I'm so pleased the NARP www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp has helped you so much!! You are so welcome and thank you for being such an inspiration xoxox
You are truly brilliant and gentle. Not only your understanding of how narcissistic abuse works but your whole approach to seeing how and why we get hooked. This is the hardest part, to build the whole inner self, to unhook ourselves. The hook is so insidious that it is sewn into our very existence. Especially as a child of a narcissistic abusing parent. Or in some cases, two of them.
I don't care anymore about any narcissist. I took my power back and dumped her on the curb... peace
I stay away from people question everything .i am getting better at saying no .its my life no one else is gonna run it !!!
Try dealing with a narc mother who has a cast of minions as a support group to try and destroy you. They are good at portraying themselves as weak and helpless to gain favoritism from everyone and paint you as the crazy bad person.
i have a narc mom and i can totally relate to your pain dear
Scapegoat here, if you can go no contact do.
They are cowards,they always attack in a group or two,like bullies.
Reptilian Demons!
True dat. I live with and care for my 81 yr old narc mother! God help me!
Message me nismo fury. I have A 9 years situation Fri. Hell re narc mother and flying monkeys. Too pls message me here we need to talk medical abusers. Too narcassist ic system
Pls pm me. Nismo. My mom too 9.5 year situation now. Again. Pls msg me I waiti ng to expose them all to psychologist
I've been watching your videos for several months now and some days I feel as though they are literally saving my life. Everything you describe is so spot on that it becomes impossible to deny. That said, I clearly have so much more to learn and so much healing to do because still today, this man can bring me to emotional depths I never knew existed with a single conversation. My situation is further complicated because we have a child together and so when I stand strong, limit contact as much as possible, resist his attempts to pull me back into the cycle, then he resolves to use our daughter to hurt me. I then feel the need to try to appease him or reason with him to protect her. Of course that's never the result. 100% of the time, the result is him bringing me to my knees emotionally and leaves me feeling worthless, hopeless, and like I'm losing my sanity. I often find myself asking "why do I keep allowing him to do this to me?". This video gave a great start to answering that question.
What an insightful analysis! It IS a wonderful, beautiful feeling to know our worth and value and to be blessed with the discernment that we gained through going through this lesson. Our homework assignments relate to this experience and one of them is resisting the temptation to continue to see ourselves as victims. Feeling victimized is like licking your wounds- it feels soothing somehow. But the next step after healing is realizing that the wound is now healed and like a broken bone that has mended, is now stronger than it was before. We can rejoice because we have reached a new level in our development and in a way, the narcissist actually assisted in that healing by being the vehicle through which we would learn. We have much love yet still to offer those who are worthy and we no longer cast our pearls before swine❤️
Love your hair like that Melanie! Thanks for another comforting video. Xx
Ohhh, whirlybird, wind nesting,on tippi top
💩👈😆
@ 😷👈😆
💯👏👏👏
So beautifully, eloquently and articulately put Melanie, thank you. Profound and sobering truths, seeing the real person after removing gaslighting sugar coated pink sunglasses. Much love from London 🙏❤️
So beautifully articulated! The other side of this journey makes the journey worth it - a healed integrated self reliant and dependable self! The best part of when you can apologise to yourself for the shit you accepted in the past because you didn’t know better to protect yourself in the best possible way!
Ps. Just think how horrible it feel to be a narcissist! How they break you is their permanent state of being when they don’t have anyone to mess with. Tortured souls…
I lucked out...only 6 months and I was just beside myself with anxiety. The amazing blessing of this was that I was able to finally recognize this pattern and am diligently working to heal and do the work to never allow this again. It's still hard, but so thankful than I'm growing and healing. Thank you for all of your amazing information, education and love ❤️❤️
Iou
Real Talk! Narcs are demons! Blessings to all Happy new Years. Stand bold and be safe as well.
I turn inward to meet my true self that is valuable, lovable and worthy, just because I am. Love for myself with humility and gratitude. Thanks, Melanie.
I'm turning inward to become my own true saviour ❣
A powerful video. Really claiming our own part in the relationship , our co-dependency and lack of self love, and forgetting about the narc's ever taking any responsibility isn't easy. My narc was in my life from day one and helped to give me the very insecurities that I now I have to claim as my own. But in so doing, we have the chance to now know our infinite worth and to thrive.
You are the best Melanie , From the inside creating the outside , love , always.
Im turning inwards to become my own true savior now! Thank you narcissist for your gift, ripping all the old crusty scabs off all the old, festering, childhood wounds. Thank Melanie for your message of truth, hope, and healing!
Perfect description at the beginning. That's EXACTLY how it feels.
....I am now completely crippled by my narcissist family and have developed multiple autoimmune diseases so that I can't wk and can't leave. Perfect for them, a scapegoat forever 😭
I’m turning inwards to become my own savior now And forever more! Love You Melanie!
I’m turning inwards to become my own true savior.
You speak the truth Melanie
And with all your wisdom there is positive hope
Blessing to you
Thank you Melanie. My healing is going so much faster an easier because of these great videos you share with us. I was a in a relationship with a narc woman 11 years older than me. Everything you say about this type of people is sadly true. It is so relieving to now why they act like they do and what was the real reason they came into our life. The truth will set us free.
I’m turning inwards to become my own true savior!
turn to Jesus Christ instead. He will give you power to fight the jezebell spirit . its a spiritual war. God bless you
@@HarryBarry97 hear, see, no,goooo
I'm still married to mine. But he will never hurt me the same way again. I am turning inward to become my own savior with God's help. Thank you Beautiful!!
Im turning inwards to become my own true savior, now! XXX
I’m turning inwards to become my own true saviour now 🏅
Claire Benjamin- London
Whoa...you are clarifying things so much for me right now...I can't get rid of my brother...we just went through my elderly mother's passing, and 'family' stuff...my brother has called nearly every day since...I let it go 4 days when he didn't call...I didnt want to call him. He's brutal. He really is.
He called, fifth day.
He says things about people I find unnecessary and even really offensive, but the worst part is he's waiting for me to fail, so he can lord it over me for the rest of our lives.
He's gotta be the 'hero'.
And he's really nicie-nicie now but I KNOW him and I KNOW how empty and soul-less he is.
It has been hurting me inside bc he's waiting.
I hate when he uses the N-word so he makes sure to do it all he can...it's like he's testing me, expecting one day I'll join in.
It's like they want to take the things that are important to you and see if you'll sell yourself out.
Now I know that's part of testing boundaries.
But my real question is, why can't I just accept what he is and talk to him anyway, just dont let it bother me.
Like it won't happen THIS time.
Now I know: bc he WILL do it again...he always does....and for me emo pain is way worse than physical pain.
He knows those vulnerabilities.
He's wanted to destroy me since we were tiny kids.
It really isnt any different now.
I have to accept that.
I want to focus on me but
I always give myself 2 excuses: he's my only family & I dont wanna hurt his feelings, and I'm pushin' 60 with no one...although I do have 4 dearly loved feline family members.
I'm full of plans for my future and I'm moving in that direction but there's always a sinking feeling that 'my brother is waiting for me to fail'....it travels in to how I feel about myself.
He's a piece of work.
I have cut off from him before.
I think I'm just desperate to feel like now that my mother's gone he must realise he ought to be compassionate & supportive but I know that's fantasy.
I can feel it.
He even talks about my sister but I know he means me.
It's me...I know it is...there is some thing I have not yet reached within myself.
It breaks me down just to listen to the crap that comes out of his mouth.
I've gotten so I can see red flags & act on them...and have.
My brother knows I'll block calls so he backs off a lot, agrees, appears to have suddenly become a reasonable person.
He knows I feel alone and vulnerable living out of state & have been divorced just long enough to feel grateful for that divorce.
I'm too old to put up with anyone's bs. For some reason I keep putting up with my brother.
Going to have to listen to this a few times.
I know it's connected to the way I feel about myself.
I gotta wake tf up.
(I stopped & wrote down that mantra💜)
This instant coffe love effect is not a conscious emphatic choice so building real genuine relations is worth gold!
I didn't know anything about narcissism. So I am learning. I am a recovering person who sees this learning as an extension of my 12 step program. I want to change to have a better life. I am the one responsible for that change if I am going to have a healthier life. I am in therapy with a gifted woman who is pointing out my 'cracks' lovingly. I am grateful to be actively engaged in self improvement.
I’m turning inwards to become my own true savior now. Thank you Melanie for all you do!!
Thank you Melanie. I'm struggling right now, you are such a strong woman. I admire you so much. I have so much healing to do.
Crimson Fire I’m also struggling to get out. I keep going back and it’s killing me
@@Crowgirl05 I've been out for almost 3 yrs. Get into therapy and a DV support group. Just saw his new book pic w new supply. Just hurts
@@Crowgirl05 you will do this, you will get out. Just keep watching the videos, do some reaching out. Think in terms of this is life or death. If the desire to get the fk out then just do it, make a way. You can. Us humans are remarkable resilient creatures.
Crimson Fire thank you. I feel so stuck.
@@Crowgirl05 I felt that way too. Whatever you do, just keep reaching out(you people that understand. These vile people have one motive, to covertly destroy another without making it look like there is no evidence that they are the cause. Write a list of things that will get u unstuck. Short term and long term.
On point! This was me....Exactly. I’m turning inward to become my own savior. 💜🙏🏼✨
I am turning inward to become my own personal savior and healer.
It's been several months since I went no contact with several individuals. My emotional failing was they were long term friends and members of my extended family and we were going to do mutually supportive endeavors. They kept taking and demanding and nothing good was coming back to me.
I now feel the complete disconnect and have no desire to have any further contact. But they haven't grasped that concept and keep sending out feelers to try to reconnect. I'm glad I have such unpleasant memories of our interactions. Detachment, going inward and healing myself was my only path to salvation. Amen.
Absolutely on point. This is exactly the experience. Thank you for explaining it so well.
Hi Melanie its only been 7 weeks no contact with my narc boyfriend he nearly destroyed me it is so hard but after finding your videos they have been helping so much take care
Encouraging someone who has always been the parent to be the parent is not really of service. I can hear compassion in your voice, and that is part of why your “only” message is so maddening and hurtful. As adults, we did survive. The tools to we honed from nothing no longer serve us. The mandate to pick ourselves up by our own bootstraps, even if delivered by silk is still cruel, and frankly just more of the message we’ve always gotten from patronizing counseling. Meanwhile the narcissist continues laughing this off.
I’m turning onwards to become my own true savior. NOW ✨
I'm turning inwards to become my own true saviour now 🙏 🙌
I'm turning inward to become my own true savior! 💙🙌🦋 After 23 years, it's time to let the light back in! ✨️🪽
I'm turning inwards to become my own savior of all my wounds and heal.
I’m turning inwards to become my own true savior now. 🦋🦋🦋
Thank you, Melanie.
yes indeed, "...do not look outside yourself for your leader." --Hopi Elders' Prophecy, June 8, 2000
I’m turning inwards and learning to love myself.
My narc is my youngest daughter. She punished me and my other children until we detached from her over a month and a half ago. We are struggling with PTSD and also codependency. Your videos have helped me so much!!!
I'm turning inwards to be my own true savior!
I am turning inwards to become My true saviour now. 🙏🙏🙏
Thank You Melanie 🙏🙏🙏💞💕💕
I'm turning inwards to become my own true savior right now.
Love this Melanie, thank you!! I'm turning inward, and becoming my own savior NOW!!!!!!! YOU ARE AWESOME MELANIE TONIA EVANS!!!!!!
Turning inwards and becoming my True saviour now!
I am turning inwards to become my own true savior, Now.
Thanks as always Melanie for your wonderful work on this subject! I starting watching you a few months ago and today I literally feel like a new person. So grateful to you! 🙏💜😘
I am going to become my true savior
No one else , self love and boundaries
Amen
Aww I SO love this sweetheart. Love and blessings xoxox
Very helpful . Helped me to understand that I'm in a relationship with a narc. The Signs you shared are all true. Thank you. More power. God. Bless.
Thank you so very much for all your videos! Since I started your video and stumble with one of them where you talked about your narcissistic experience and you said that you can too can heal and get your life back. Since then, I started to realised that it was a narcissistic abused. I then started to take actions. It wasnt easy in the beginning because first it was relatives 2nd I felt that I was deeply bonded to them. It helps a lot when I started to take the journey within and there everythings falls into places. I am a halfway away farther from that black hole. You helped me a lot through your videos. Its true that knowledge is power. Im still ripping off the shells that the narcissists put on me but I felt so much better now, I still continue my journey to my over all healing. I am just cocern about my behaviour sometimes that my children see. I have traumas that really surprised me. Its deep seated trauma since I was 5 yrs old when my narcistics relative drowning me over and over again. I wanted to heal from to stop that old pattern. Begin a new life with my children and living normal. Your my angel and my mentor! Love and blessings
Hi Philipa, Im so pleased you are wnting to heal for you and your children, and that you are getting to the bottom of it. Are you working with NARP www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp ? it has the ability to take your healing journey to an unprecedented and much more powerful level. Much love to you and your children Philipa xoxox
@@MelanieToniaEvans thanks so much. I am considering working with narp.
I'm turning inwards to become my own true saviour NOW
Im turning inwards to become my own true saviour
Im turning inwards to become my own true savor now by grace & through Christ.
I’m turning inwards to become my true savior now!
I'm turning inward to be my own true savior🦋
I am turning inward to become my own true savior now: 17:18 Trying to reason with a narc is like repeating the same thing over and over, expecting a different result=insanity!
I am da vine, u da branch,wit out me ,u nuttin ,Anna nutti
You surely explained exactly how I was feeling in my marriage! Thank you
I’m turning inwards to become my own true savior!!!
That bit about how they create that chemical connection- that is so true.
I'm turning inwards to become my own true savior now!!
Amen ❤❤❤
I'm turning inward to become MY OWN TRUE SAVIOUR NOW! AMEN
I moved 1 year ago to get away from narcs. It's my daughter and her long term boyfriend. They tried to make me go crazy, stroke me out. Poisoned me, gave me mersa intentionally etc...My grown son is living there now. Narcs are still getting mail there. My son made him mad by telling him he's cancelling their mail there. Well...now our mail is missing on and off. My check was gone last month. I guess I'll get some cameras. He's so sneaky. I don't know if it will do any good. He out and out told me, he would destroy my home, and I would never catch him. Every day...something would be torn up. He summons demons. I've seen him posessed. I'm worried for my son.
Narcs are known to destroy your property because they don't have much...a little clothes, a little car...not much more.
I'm turning inwards to become my own savior!!!
“They can’t abuse just anybody” ...thank you
I'm turning inwards to become my true savior, now. :*
Amazing. Right on.
Excellent! Thank you so much!
Hello Melanie Tonia Evans. I were told today that no matter where I go/relocate that I’m still going to have the problem from my abusive spouse and family members that are Jehovah’s Witnesses. When I were attending the Kingdom Hall years ago, an elder of their congregation stated while giving a talk based on scriptural experiences chuckled while saying, “The only way out of this is suicide.” I still lives with my abuser and have anyway out.
Butterfly Luv you can get out. There is always a way, I suggest getting support from a domestic abuse support organisation. Even if it’s not physical abuse the mere fact that you feel you cannot escape shows you are in crisis. Please stay strong. Watch these videos. Do the free 16 day course that Melanie offers. But PLEASE know that you can get out of this. Where are you based? Can you please contact domestic abuse support and begin your journey to escape and heal. Sending love 💓
Do you have videos on setting boundaries with Narc, family, friends? I need this so much
SoulBeuaty this may help blog.melanietoniaevans.com/how-to-set-boundaries-with-a-narcissist-if-you-cant-go-no-contact/ . Also, have you come into my free masterclass www.melanietoniaevans.com/masterclass because this is the essential training to be able to anchor into and deliver boundaries powerfully, with any toxic person in your life. I hope this helps xoxox
Melanie Tonia Evans thank you so much
I am turning inwards to become my own true saviour now
Both my stepdad and sister are textbook narcissists. NOTHING is ever good enough for them, it's their way or the highway, and once I have nothing to offer, I am of no value to them. The most disturbing trait amongst the both of them however is the complete void of empathy and sheer inability to truly care about me the way I do for them. It is now my goal to remove the both of them out of my life COMPLETELY.
I'm turning inward to become my own true savior now!
30 years ago before I knew what this was I escaped my abuser with my young children. These many years later I’m heartbroken in the biggest way to find out my daughter is also a covert narcissist and I realize I let her abuse me because I couldn’t let go. She meant so much to me. She really dropped her mask right after I got attached to my brand new granddaughter. Triangulation and many lies later. I’m in more pain then ever after she texted like a black widow spider that she never loved me and was only pretending, and that I was a stupid fool for believing it. Doing NARP, lesson learned the hard way. I can see it so clearly now, I didn’t want to believe in all the evil. She has all the cards (my in laws think I’m a monster) and will destroy her new boyfriend and their baby which is hard to swallow. I also went to a shop that helped me pick out a crystal bracelet to help me with the horrible nightmares that I wear at night. My family thought I was crazy the first time this happened with my ex. But they are narcissistic also so of course they loved to persecute me who had always been the scapegoat. The way I see it now, if I can survive this heartbreak I’ll be strong enough to survive anything. Losing a lost “love” is completely different then giving birth to a child who is incapable of loving you. When I realized all my little inside jokes and things I treasured meant nothing/were nothing I thought I was going to die. And that everything I did to protect her from her narcissist dad meant zero to her and she actually punished me over the years because of doing what was right. I was frozen the time she said, dad could die and it wouldn’t mean anything to me. I corrected her thinking she was trying to get a rise out of me. I didn’t want to believe I could give birth to someone who is without a soul and who thinks the same way about me and everyone else. No wonder I’ve been getting sicker and sicker the longer I stayed around her. Source please protect my granddaughter and her father who know nothing of what she is. Unfortunately only sorrow awaits.
I will become my own savor!
Thank you!
I'm turning inwards to become my own true saviour, now.
I really wish there was more focus on the biochemical and nutritional needs of those who have suffered narcissistic abuse. That's what I thought this was going to be about. Not more behavioral information that most of us know already. This kind of abuse severally depletes the endocrine and nervous system. People can get extremely ill or lose their mental balance completely. There is nutrition that you can and must have to rebuild yourself. Can someone please talk about that! Can we talk about Vitamin B, magnesium deficiencies? Blood pressure control? Insulin resistance? Obesity? It's all related to the depleted state that your body is left in after this kind of repeated trauma. Some people can't heal because they lack the physiological state to make it possible. It's literally like the bible says of trying to put new wine into old depleted wine sacks. It won't hold or not for long.
If you don't hear anything else, hear this...if you don't get away from these people and get into the business of healing you, you're life is on the line. LITERALLY. Self care is not selfish, it is an absolute, essential MUST.
Hun I agree with you, I'm not a health professional or practitioner but I agree Self-care alongside deep inner healing is very important and we can research to understand how best to support our systems. Love and blessings xoxox
@@MelanieToniaEvans, they literally go hand in hand. You can’t have one without the other. I just feel practitioners of all disciplines need to do their due diligence and highlight the absolute necessity of healing on all levels. It’s a disservice to do otherwise. To hold the expectation that people should heal when they literally physically are not able because they are in most cases immune compromised. It’s like expecting blind people to physically see.
You may find nutritional support from a gentleman called The Medical Medium. Because yes to fresh fruits and vegetables as the mainstay of our nutrition.
I’m 65 years, have been on a quest for health and authenticity since 15 years of age. So many layers to healing…..but listening to our true self is empowering and healing. Thank you Melanie
I'm turning inwards to become my own true saviour ❤️
Amazing, everything you said it clicks!
Thank you! I really appreciate your kindness to help us to understand what we go through with narcissism abuse. Do we ever get cured? My heart and my soul are often broken with the memories that never leave me. Am l going to feel broken for ever?
Thank you with great generosity deep from my heart. I have to say a prayer for you this evening. I understand a lot after watching you tonight. Sending you kindness❤.
I am turning inwards to become my own true saviour
I am turning inward, to become my own true savior, now. ❤