Understanding Your Love Languages | Knowing How you NEED to be LOVED
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- Опубликовано: 3 фев 2020
- #mentalhealth #stephanielyncoaching #narcissisticabuse #emotionalabuse #selflove
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Thank you for your love and support!
Stephanie
www.StephanieLynLifeCoaching.com
We assume others show love the same way we do, and if they don't, we worry it's not there
Gurudra - Emotional Health & Peace I was succinct, couldn't go into every way he did not act lovingly.
Very true!
This is true, but to be honest you can tell when someone values you. They don't have to mirror your actions and traits. But you can pick up on how much someone cares or doesn't.
Jason Roberts Absolutely! Respect is one of top indicates.
True
Sometimes it only becomes important when you aren’t getting it. Actually that happens alot. If you are with someone who gives you time but no affection, then affection becomes the next thing you look for in a relationship. And you think that time isnt so important. It only becomes important when you dont have that anymore.
Stephanie you’re the only woman or man who makes these types of videos that truly got it through 😀 I appreciate you and your work so much!!! 💛
Copycat Thehitmanheart it’s doesn’t hurt that shes also smoking hot!
My ex wife could care less that i did the grocery shopping, cooking. Took care of the vehicles, washed her car filled it with gas so she could leave for work a little later. These are things i love to do. Good stuff Stephanie
maybe that's not how she would have loved to be loved. i hope you have found love by now
I have yet to encounter a person as well spoken as you, Stephanie. You have the gift of teaching and are on the way to becoming a virtuoso in that way. Your head and your heart are so wonderfully in balance in the way you express yourself. I am simply aghast at times. I feel when you speak that every word is perfect in the sentence and structure of the idea you present. It's kind of like what has been said of Mozart in his talent to hear, create and deliver musical themes. As a deeply spiritual person I would say this ability you have to communicate is often referred to as an "anointing" because we believe the ideas and words are God inspired and kind of prophetic. Really happy I found you and am referring you to all my friends. -Zep
Gifts, affirmations, quality time, acts of service and touch .
My love language are mix of all 5
You need a Podcast channel, I'd love to hear your talks on the go!
Thank you Stephanie I'm so grateful for your time and channel.
Greetings from Dallas Texas 💓
Stephanie, missed seeing you on this video,but good to hear your words of wisdom. I read this book, and found it very interesting. The love language that i most need a partner to give me is words of affirmation,followed by physical touch. The top two love languages i give a partner are physical touch, and acts of service. Words of affirmation, giving gifts and finally quality time follow in that order. Thanks for covering this topic. Take care, and thank you for this great service you are providing for your viewers through your videos.
Love this one... so important...never even gave this a thought before. Thank You!
This has took so much weight off my shoulders. This is exactly what I’m thinking, this is going to help my communication with my partner. Thankyou so much
I love being held and cuddled
I have heard of the 5 love languages but never heard the entire thing. Very interesting!!
great video!!
Quality time and physical touch. ❤❤
Words of affirmation is nice too but those other two are dominant. I want more than what I’m getting but I’m patient.
My love language is giving words of affirmation and giving gifts. My husband’s is acts of service. I think thats where the disconnect is. My love has grown cold because he rarely has anything good to say about anything I have given him so far. Its either, this is too expensive, you should have just saved the money, or this doesnt fit me well, stop giving me clothes I’d rather buy them myself. Whenever I compliment him, he either gets embarassed and become quiet, or he would ask me if I needed something that’s why am complimenting him. He was also very verbally abusive over the years. Its only now when my love balance has gone depleted that he has managed to change himself a bit, but I cant help but feel its too late, as the damage has been done beyond repair.
I love you. Great job
I didn’t know my love language until I realized I was craving something that I wasn’t getting.
Great one 🔥. Agree!
Very helpful thank u x
Thank you✨🙏
THANK YOU! 🙏🏼
Timely video, with rich lessons
You just made me realise that none of it I was receiving! I was always fighting for a little bit of it 😢
1.Compliments
2.Acts of service(seeing they are struggling andremoving the load)
3.Quality Time(making 1 on 1 time, intimate conversation)
4. Giving/receiving gifts.
(The thought put into it based on what they like)
5. Physical touch
I want all of these but I definitely want physical touch.(And that does include sex for me) but really it's just in general. When I don't get this I am not happy in the relationship especially if I'm not "receiving" affection.
It a good idea to think of the things you have liked or didn't get. It's good to tell people when you know what you want.
How do you know if the things you think is your love language.. aren't just your codependency or trauma bounds making u think a certain thing is your love language how can you separate the two
Exactly!
Slot of e times your love language are the things that #1 were given to you. What I mean by that is they are apart of your program. Also they could be the things you never received and now crave.
Hey, there are a few ways to find out, I discuss them here ruclips.net/video/OgWIRLCDs6c/видео.html plus love languages can change over time depending on the season of the person's life.
Hi Stephanie🌷🐞🕊️Lynn!!
I love your channel and your insights; you are awesome--but in the 1990's, a book came out called "The 5 Love Languages". My (then) fiance wanted to go through the book together for fun. Things were going just fine with us, and then I started hearing all about how I wasn't meeting her love languages, how I needed to change, blah blah blah. It killed all the romance instantly and turned her into a self-absorbed, self-entitled woman. So indeed (admittedly), I'm really jaded about this book and its application, especially in today's climate (not to mention how things were in the 80's and 90's).
Lol.....yeah this could open a can of worms for some people. It is sort of like that old saying...be careful what you wish for.
I once was at a dinner party in the 90s and the hosting couple decided everyone should play a game after dinner....it was like a truth or dare sort of game. I dont remember the exact name. Lol I figured it would end in disaster AND it did. The hosting couple got in a fight during the game bc the husband was honest about a previous female he had been with😱 that the wife had no knowledge of...yikes!
The fun ended abruptly and we left😬
Sometimes...too much knowledge...kills the relationship.
That couple ended up divorcing 😬
Maybe the problems were already there and it wasn’t going to keep going smoothly with or without the book. The book just brought underlying problems up a few years quicker(which is a blessing because it forces the couple to be honest). Whether you work it out from there or not will show the strength of commitment of the couple and the humility of the individual.
@@RN-mn3jn LOL that's hillariuos!
@@blueseptember2174 Very true
@@RN-mn3jn not about the divorce, but the party situation.
I agree the love languages are important thank you for the reminder, reinforcement and insight. (Yr 39 continuous marriage here).
An observation, not a criticism. I enjoy your video content much more than the audio-only. It must be the eye contact? Which Love Language is that? LOL Thanks again.
This is how my test came out.
7 acts of service
7 Physical touch
7 quality time
7 words of affirmation
2 receiving gifts
Mine is quality time
Thirty years ago i was dating a young lady for a year and i made up a big packed lunch on a beautiful sunny day and delivered it with the offer of visiting some beautiful lakes...and dinner later with a film at the flicks.
She looked at the food and said.."NAAAAH...i'd rather play Super Mario...put the kettle on will you.".... a direct order from her, in hindsight..
...if only i'd known then what i know now.....and i'd have got into my car, gone to the lakes myself and eaten ALL of the packed lunch....then gone off to a strip-show. I would have been shown more respect there. For the record, she went on to have 4 children with three different fathers and a variety of different boyfriends since...latest one could as well be her Dad in the looks department....two fathers were big into drugs. Lucky escape eh.
Betting she is still playing Super Mario.
Love your videos. My new youtube gal pal lol
Great video thank you! I have one question: do we speak the same love language we require from someone? For example if my love language is quality time meaning I require quality time is that the same love I also speak with aka give to my partner subconsciously?
Generally yes, people tend to give love the same way they need to receive love. That being said, it is essential in a relationship that each person gives love in the way that the other person needs to recieve it. So, for example, let's say the husband's love language is physical touch, and the wife's love language is words of affirmation. In that case, it is important for the wife to love the husband in his love language (that is, by giving him physical touch), and the husband to love the wife in her love language (by giving her words of affirmation).
Being left alone seems like the best language.
What might an emotional abuser/narcissist love language results look like?
Steph are you the most beautiful woman on the planet geez I could not be counselled by you would kick me for stumbling over myself.. geez such radiant beauty wow
My love language is words of affirmation. I find is causing me a lot of problems. I’m very hurt by criticism and take to heart. I find it’s very easy for people to manipulate me with flattery. Just hurts me so much because I feel so loved but they didn’t mean anything they said. Just feel like this love is not sustainable for me and I try to go more by actions but it just doesn’t do it for me. What’s the solution to this???
You lack self love and boundaries . Self love lacking ppl always look for external validations . They simply don't know to draw boundaries with others so they come above you and judge you . You allow them to own your space because you lack boundaries . Work on these 2 things . Then explore your love language .
I just love looking at you 🙃
I do 3 of the love languages. Is it possible to do multiple?
Do NpD's have love languages? I don't recall my ex having any of these languages
Mine is gifts because for me it shows the person was thinking of me on their own time/proves they care(a litmus test of sorts). Can you tell I have trust issues?
Also, when I say gifts, I literally mean like an anniversary gift and that it. He knew that(I told him) and still hasnt gotten me one 7 years later(passive aggressive covert narcissist).
Have you tried reverse psychology and pretended like you didn’t want any gifts? Pretend u don’t want anything at all and maybe they’ll do the opposite just to even prove you wrong 😂
I wonder how my ex-narc could be married for 20 years before she met me. I had enough of this terrible emotional abuse already after 4 years (even this was too long) and just ended it 18 days ago. How can this be? Either he was saying yes & amen to everything she said and did or she wasn`t so narcissistic at that time and got worse now???
Everyone’s pain threshold is different some people are willing to put up with abuse a lot longer than others. A lot of it has to do with your own journey and where you are compared to their last partner.
How would you know if someone is a narcissist when they are also a alcoholic??
Javier Martinez Watch the Utubes. I just split with a narcissist alcoholic. I now understand
About 1% of the population actually meets the diagnosis criteria for Narcissistic Personality Disorder, but everyone online has been with a “narcissist.” The truth is we all display some narcissism at times - it’s part of being human - but only a professional can label someone a true narcissist and chances are your significant other isn’t a true narcissist.
Justine Simone tell
Me more! Im in a similar situation
Justine Simone
Who do i watch?
RUclips the narcissist in my life
I was with my narcissistic wife for 15 years, then finally discarded. She would say some terrible things to me. Yet to my frustration I find myself still loving her. Also how do you get over sexual jealousy, the thought of her with someone else. I know I'm better off without her but still have this continual desire to be with her. Is that what co dependant is? I mean she would do her thing I would do mine, she would go away on holidays with kids for a month without me, that never bothered me. I just always loved her very much but she made it hard, especially in the long discard phase 7 yrs in the making.
Jason Roberts going without your kids for a month is strange.
@@blueseptember2174 I have work commitments. But I love my kids and her at the time. So I wished only to see them happy and enjoying life. Is that strange??
Jason Roberts you want to see them happy but WITH you right? Just clarifying.
My love language is quality time and iv been in long distance relationship with my fiance for four years now but we only met once so the only thing left is being on the phone or texting for a while it was okey for me but with time we already talked about everything and it's a monotonous things and what's making it worse is that he spends the time he has energy with his friends and family so I feel like I'm left with the left over time . We call when hes driving home when I can barely hear him or hes doing groceries or doing something else so I never feel like I'm a priority for him while he says that I'm the most important thing in his life . I crave attention so much and he doesnt seem to really realise how miserable it's making me feel . And it feels like enjoys being with others more then me which makes it so much worse . I feel punished by needing quality time and not having it for four years but I cant let go for some reason :( Its just making me so sad
Sending you much love and blessings hun xx
Sounds like you need to put some time into doing things that you love, make youself happy and fill that void with self-love. We all deserve to be happy hun x
Well......I got my ex wife’s love language wrong.
I have been in my marriage since I was 15 and I am now 52 so I feel it is too late to teach an old dog new tricks. He is already set in his ways and won’t change.
Mine are quality time & physical touch. I seem to attract people who value words of affirmation & that is definitely the one I’m the worst at giving people, I like to give small personal gifts instead.
Also a man can write so many love letters in honeymoon period if its in his love languages however sometimes this isn’t sustainable. In 10 years tje love letters go to zero.
This doesn’t take long term marriage into consideration