How To Keep Your Sons-In-Law and Daughters-In-Law Out of Your Estate
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- Опубликовано: 1 май 2018
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It's common for parents to want to keep their sons-in-law and daughters-in law out of their estate, for a variety of reasons. Common reasons include the fact that the in-law spends too much money; the in-law has their own kids; the in-law will inherit from their own parents and grandparents; some parents want to keep everything in the "bloodlines" because they inherited from parents and grandparents; others just don't like their in-laws; and others fear that their children will get divorced in the future and lose their inheritance.
Parents have several options when establishing an estate legal program. One option is simply leave the inheritance to the child - outright. Some parents reason that an inheritance is the separate property of the child so that should take care of it. However, inheritances that children receive are often, either intentionally or unintentionally, commingled with community property causing the inheritance to lose its separate property status.
A second option parents have is to leave their child's inheritance to a trust for the benefit of the child. If the parents name the child as the trustee, the child's spouse could exert influence over the child and force the child to take excessive distributions from the trust. But some parents tell me, "Let's leave it to a trust for our child and name our child as the trustee. If our child screws it up, so be it. We did what we could do to try to protect him without taking away his access to his inheritance."
A third option is to leave your child's inheritance to a trust, but name a 3rd party as the trustee of the trust - in essence restricting your child's access to his or her inheritance. By restricting your child's access to the trust, your are restricting your child's spouse from influencing your child to access the trust. You may even wish to name your child's children as the principal beneficiaries of the trust so that when your child later passes away, remaining trust assets would stay in the bloodlines benefiting your grandchildren. Your child's withdrawal or distribution rights become key components to this program.
There are many factors that play into how you leave an inheritance to your children. You must factor in the community property law, the Trust Code, laws which state that fruits of separate property are community property, family law, marriage contract law, and laws allowing spouses to sign a Declaration reserving the fruits of separate property as separate property.
This post is for informational purposes only and does not provide legal advice. Please do not act or refrain from acting based on anything you read on this site. Using this site or communicating with Rabalais Estate Planning, LLC, through this site does not form an attorney/client relationship.
Paul Rabalais
Estate Planning Attorney
www.RabalaisEstatePlanning.com
Phone: (225) 329-2450 
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2 points. 1) I worked in a bank for 30yrs and, boy, regularly saw shocking arguments when there's money involved! 2) My Grandmother got remarried at the age of 75 (after being a widow for 25yrs!) and, unfortunately, her new found happiness lasted only 3 months when her new hubby died from a heart attack. She inherited the property that she had only just moved into, together with all his other monies and worldly goods. Apart from grieving, of course, his two children were upset that everything went to my Grandmother. This proves that you need to put something in place and not hang around! (NB my Grandmother was a reasonable woman and passed everything over to her new hubby's family as she felt that only fair thing to do -BUT most people aren't like that - unfortunately!)
Your grandmother is a class act.
I would think that it’s the decent thing to do.
You are right most people are not like that.
The salt of the earth type of Grandmother.
Your grandmother was a fair woman. Good for her.
Those are good strategies. I have two children, one married with children and the other single. I chose to exclude my two grandchildren from inheriting money. I left them some personal effects that I specifically listed but not money. Who knows if my son will someday have children and if he does and his children don't inherit then that would be unfair. All the money is divided between my two children. If they decide to give some of that to their children or spouse that is their decision.
A fool and his money is soon parted. Bottom line is that 75% of people blow any money that they didn't earn.
Fool and his money are out welcomed everywhere!
In Canada, inheritances and income collected are not considered joint assets and are exempt when separating assets because of divorce. Never use personal inheritance to pay down household debt or a mortgage. That money would then be considered
a communal asset and subject to a 50/50 split.
hi nice meeting you again
LOL I HAVE AN NOW EX- BROTHER AND SISTER IN LAW BOTH TRY TO STEAL 10 ACRES OF FARM LAND I LIVE ON!! GOOD ADVICE!!!
wow. tha audacity
That's totally ridiculous! They have no ties to your acreages. They shouldn't have any legal rights.
Yes indeed !
Both of my husband’s brothers, his mother and my husband died before their dad… it’s a good thing I was in the will. I took care of my father in law for the last year of his life.
Another excellent discussion. You do a fantastic job of explaining in a way that is easily understood. Thank you.
Just came across your channel today and have already watched several episodes. Very good information. Thank you!
Thank god for your video! I am struggling with this conundrum at present!
Hahaha
Great video. This advice is even more important for residents of states that are not community property states.
We are going to make sure our daughter is protected even though she says she isn't getting married. we are living on property we inherited from my father in law and when my husband dies I know that I will live on our farm until I dieI had a good relationship with my father in law and my husband and I have a stable marriage. The farm is security that my husband wants me to have and we want our daughter to have.I enjoy your videos , they have a wealth of information.
Hello Mr Rabalais just a note to say how grateful I am for you taking the time to teach us about the law and how to prepare for our departures and protect our family at the same time.I understand you very well ,your videos are very precise and clear, occasionally I miss to understand but not because of you let me make that clear.I do thank you from the bottom of my heart💖and may the Lord keep you well to continue to help us .From Hialeah Gardens ,Luz🙏👍👏🙌💖🙏
Good topic . I was told in laws don’t count by an attorney that specializes in wills & trusts ect .besides I wouldn’t never sign nothing with other family members . Except My mom or aunt . It’s always best to get with a attorney that does wills & estates . & get sound advice . Every state has its own laws .
My husband died before his mother. When she passed away his portion of her estate went to his 4 living children and me (20% each). She was very gracious to leave me a share of what would otherwise belonged to my husband.
You had an exceptional mother-in-law. Mine was a racist interloper.
Amber is going to be really pissed off.
Not if she doesn't know it exists ;)
Doesn't matter. She has no say and no recourse.
😂🤣😂😂🤣
Oh too bad 😜
My son is 20, and I’ve already had that conversation with him and my lawyer. With divorce as high as it is, it’s not in his odds that he’ll stay married to his first wife. Having said that, you have to protect what you and your family have created and what you want to pass on as a legacy. Prenups are a must, unless, everyone including the extended family is broke.
Lots to think about. Thank you for sharing!
Now I understand better why our attorney was surprised that we made sure our son in law was next in line, after our daughter, in our will. We love our son in law. He’s a good and honest person who I know will take care of our grandkids. I trust him with my life. So, even if my daughter were not survive us- highly unlikely- I know he would do exactly what we want. We got lucky when he married our daughter.
Heard storys like this and the in law turnt! U 4gotten people do change,cheat, murder their spouse..never never put your trust man😮
Thank you for sharing your insights. This is very helpful.
Thank you Mr. Rabalais for this very vital information. Many people of means regardless of background are worried about this issue world-wide!!!
Awesome channel! Thanks for providing great information.
I think when deciding on preparing our wills, we shouldn't let our emotions get the best of us. If you really want to rest in perfect peace after you night have departed, be firm, be definite and be straight forward in terms of who gets what and how. I think the last option which is the Trustee Fund with a third party being included is the best. You can only leave what you have.
Thank you this is good information 👍 for me especially.
Great info. Thanks for sharing!
Thank you so much for this & helping so many! 🙏
Thank you for your mini refresher course. Studying some of laws in LA., and your parishes made studies in college very interesting 🤔! ❤️✊🇺🇸😜
Hi nice meeting you I was in touch with you before I lost your contact
My mom made her daughter in law to handle everything when she died. To this day I have nothing of my mom's of which I told my mom that she would do this because she hates me. My dad died first and he would have rolled over in his grave if he knew what my mom did. I basically got kicked to the curb. My mom was horrible to do this and I feel as if she hated me.
Excellent presentation! I saw my attorney and amended my will using the Trust approach and designated 3rd party Trustee.
Hello my name is José and I have to say I really enjoy your videos . Thanks
I REALLY enjoy your videos. Thank you Sir....
I enjoy that you enjoy!😉
@@americasestateplanninglawy1946
Question: What if the surviving spouse has signed a prenup that she gets nothing including inheritance and the house was only under his name and the parent of deceased spouse files probate trying to get everything? Is there any way the surviving spouse can still get something despite signing the prenup. I’d truly appreciate a response
All your videos are very informative!!! Thank you for sharing all your knowledge 🙏
So nice of you
Great info here! Thank you.
I have 1 child. If she out lives us, she gets everything. If not, it goes to our grandchildren. Simple. Once we are gone it is what it is.
Once I am dead my kids can do whatever they want with it. They have been taught to manage their money and be smart.
You can send your children to the most advanced education and teach them all that’s good. But being delusional when it comes to money is not safe EVER. I have 2 other sisters 1 brother, always got along. Parents die and let me tell you , you don’t even know these people anymore! Never did I think in a million years that they totally changed when it came to the money etc.
And did you educate your son and daughter in law too?
@@robertbrowne4049 yes!
The point of the video is not about the children, but about the in-laws.
hi nice meeting you
Felix ends up dead the day after the inheritance.
Again. Thank you very much for the information.
Where there's a will there is a relative.
That is so true. Vultures.
@@anaksunamoon8618 Mother told me once that people worry about other peoples money more than they ever do about their own Anak.
@WALKABOUT
Good one!
But did you know that a will *INITIATES PROBATE* ????
LoL!!! :)
My sister in law is working very hard to separate my siblings from each other because my mom is quite well off. She wants it all. How can i stop her besides digging a hole for her ??
Great advice - my girlfriend list her whole inheritance due to ex spending like a drunken sailor - she helped spend it too and quickly, over a million gone in 10 years! Her parents would be rolling in their graves, squandered so foolishly and arrogantly
Hello Lee😊
Sadly more common than one would think. Unfortunately many do not view themselves as stewards of the inheritance.
Hi nice meeting you
I just came across this video and we are soon to update a previous will. Our oldest son asked us if we would leave his wife his share of our estate if he passed away. We were surprised at the request because we thought that our son’s will should provide for his wife and we wanted our son’s share of our estate to go to his children, our grandchildren. To complicate matters one of our son’s children is handicapped and is well taken care of by the wife. Our other two son’s have no children, but one with a wife. It’s a sticky situation and my feeling is that my best solutions in Pennsylvania is to put names of heirs in the will with a percentage for each. Some are in a financially good position and some are not. It’s no simple solution.
Thank you. Good advice.
My father slowly developed dementia. He had 3 daughters. Each living in different states. Before the dementia really started to take over 2014. My older sister flew to TN and they along with atty did last will and testament. Before all this happened my mother and father were married and had a pretty nice home. My sister was interior decorator and her husband was a contractor for building homes. Anyway, after my father left they went to TN and did updates on home. The house sold for almost 1/2 million. Daddy (he thought) was buying a nice condo. He was receiving over 3,000.00 a month for retirement. His dementia got worse so they did his last will and testament in 2013. In 2020 (Feb) he had a severe brain hemorrhage. He had 24 he care at his condo. He passed away 5 days later. So my older sister (who was executior read his last will and testament. I was to receive 1/2 of his earnings from his estate. But somehow my sister's husband was now the owner. My father did not know. He had dementia. So where did the 1/2 million dollars go. And why was father paying for his condo each month and HOA etc. He filed bankruptcy so no credit card. He used cash. When I went to stay with him for 3 months until he got 24 he care which was not out of his pocket. His retired job paid for it and all new stuff. He just had about 1,000 I. His checking acct. He received each month almost 3,000. Where was the money? My sister said he never paid one bill there. I have legal pads upon legal pads where he wrote down his budget for each month including mortgage. His funeral was over 30,000. Which the Union gave ,her 12,000.00 for funeral. Is it actually legal to have a parent with dementia to sign over his property and he does not know this. He kept asking where is all his money. So the estate is in my brother laws name. Which my father said I was to receive 1/2. But did not get. It was almost Two hundred thousand. Probate never informed me or my other sister because the property was in our brother n laws name.
A factor to consider is: how easy is it, under your state's laws, to get at the other party's inheritance in a divorce? States differ quite a bit on the standards for that. If it's difficult for those assets to be transmuted to marital property, less need to restrict the funds.
Oh mine! ABSOLUTELY! not in general but the majority are sharks. There are some very sad stories out there after the son/daughter in law sucks up everything like a vacuum cleaner, and the beneficiary ends up poor and lives on the streets and sleep under the bridge.
Thank you for your insight.
In Calif there is another issue if the benificary dies intestate while the money in held in trust the spouse is entitled to 1/3 of his inheritence.
Spouse's are not entitled to a families inheritance. It was never intended to be that way. Each spouse has a set of parents .Therefore a spouse should not get another spouse's inheritance.
"Was never intended..." by who? Who made the rules for what wills were intended to do?
Inlaws are members of a family. Plus, often in a marriage, spouses treat their property as shared between them.
I have joined with my wife to create a new family. She will inherit from me and I will inherit from her. We both pass it on to our children. If you plan to do otherwise, you should not even marry as you do not want to join with them.
Actually, it was specifically intended to be that way, which is why keeping things separate in a marriage is difficult and not the default.
When they married I valued them both equally and am giving as much as I can to them now. Better than a nursing home or hospital taking it all later. I have very little anyway.
It happens. Brother was the executor of our parents estate, then he died before all was executed, his wife received more than his siblings. Plan on an executor dying before all is completed.
Great info.
What about community property states where the bad son in law will try to grab from other children do you want irrevocable or revocable trust?
So blessed that all three of my children are with spouses that are welcome to half of whatever I leave each of my kids.
I consider them my own children and if the worst ever happens in their relationships, I wouldn’t have hard feelings about them getting half.
If the child gets it, it is SURE their family will. NATURAL.
Really smart idea, will do that
Back in France my mother used to warn me that at death inheritance disputes were brought in by the in-laws “les rapportés “
Thank you very much for sharing your valuable knowledge much appreciated.
I have to get my will written up water tight as my ex wife & three disrespectful son's will be going for a Lion's share that'a for sure, when in fact I won't even give them a mention in my will let alone anything else..
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Good Information!! :)
I completely agree as a lawyer I refuse to include "in-laws" as a beneficiary in a Will. I refuse to do that Will!
As a lawyer you are required to follow the instructions of clients to the letter. -Good luck keeping your practice going!
Dude is not a lawyer. LOL.
What about Family Limited Partnerships?
Wow ... Thanks. I've had those exact concerns about my children. Now I just need to accumulate something to leave them...???
Is there a way to set up conditions on how money from the trust can be used?
April May get a shrink, idiot.
My mom tried leaving me out of inheritance because she told everyone that I got mine when my husband’s parents were killed in a car accident. I told her that it was his inheritance not mine because he was their son. My mom was a not so nice person. I still got my share of the estate due to my dad’s will.
You and I had the same mother. My mom cut me out of her will because I had a very good job. My sister made more $ than me, but ......she got it all. Sis was the “favorite”.
I guess mom passed before dad?
@@mchapman132 I thought I was the only one like that.
@@kathleenkeane4364 - no, you’re not alone. I’ve come to learn many people had dysfunctional parents. You have my sympathy. Stay safe.
@@mchapman132 ✨🎆✨
I find this all fascinating, even though my parents and myself are of more modest means. No major inheritance going on for anybody. My husband and do have decent life insurance to provide for our children if something should happen to us, but no generational wealth. I'm kinda glad, though. More money, more problems. We get by with G-d's help, and my siblings and I have agreed not squabble over what little we eventually inherit.
Some good info.
I was not contacted during my father’s probate and succession. I am in New Jersey now, but in a few weeks will be in Louisiana. I plan to go to the clerks office where the succession was done to get copies of everything that was filed. What can be done if everything is not as it should be. In the will that I have, my father left me his disposeable portion. My father passed in 2014, but significant debt was owed to the irs, so my mother never opened a probate.
Uncontested wills can be "" closed "
Can my child decide to buy a house using the monies in the trust but buy the house via the trust itself so in case of divorce, the house is not considered to be shared properties? Take it further, can the trust buy the property, have it rented to the couple as a way demonstrating its not a common property?
My husband's father died. His brother, the executor, secretly moved money from the trust to a joint bank account with the name of their dying mother, their eldest brother and his wife listed on the joint account - minus my husband. Bottom line: the executor did not follow the trust, the conniving thieves lied and then proudly stole my husband's inheritance at a time we need it most.
This happens all the time. Similar situation happened to my husband. We knew his family was gonna screw us and they did. Sad to lose family over money.
That’s why there are courts and lawyers.
@@raybod1775 usually the lawyers wind up making money and you get little to nothing.the lawyers made the rules and set up the system
@@raybod1775 Lawyers wind up becoming defacto beneficiaries of the estate.
So sorry you got stabbed in the back and through the heart by greedy, selfish, criminally unethical in-laws.
Nice video.
Good advice about not putting this off and getting it taken care of now. We just did this and went with a trust so we could also protect our grandchildren's inheritance. Glad it's all settled.
We did this also. Too protect our daughter and grandaughters
Hello Diana😊
I plan to pay for my daughter college and give some money to start her life. I will use the rest to enjoy my life - I might do some travelling :)
You're totally missing the point of the video.
I’m married and if I die, I would like to leave my half to my grandchildren. Or would it be best to leave it to my married son, in a trust with him signing a declaration.
really interesting
Why is your Closed Captioning auto-generated in Dutch? 🤔
I would go to you for estates if I lived in that state
Felix' parents leaving to Felix' children (parent's grandchildren) possibly by Trust would be great protection against Amber's children ending up with the inheritance?
My great uncle had no children, wife pss away before him and left to his niece and she left it to her 2 oldest and 1 put other siblings on mom will before she passed away and her lawyer had added her grand kids even the ones that was not born before she passed away how can this be legal? So is a person will sound proof that those on a will will receive what was left to them? or making sure your not leaving those you do not know only what you decide to leave for inheritance and how do you find out what you have inherent in someone will if you know they left one.? And can you refuse an inheritance if someone left an will but you or an the inherent doesn't want it what can they do to not accept the inheritance from a will?
Can it be to keep out the brother-in-law, but not the sister-in-law?
Please can we have English captions?
My mother has set up a trust with my sister and brother and myself as trustees. I have been married for 32 years and our relationship is strong so i dont have a worry about divorce at this point. But , I also know that any relationship can turn sour. I thought that anything that you had prior to the marriage would still be considered yours in a divorce but, anything accumulated during the marriage would be subject to being divided up in a divorce. So my question is, even if the inheritance is in a trust that it comes just to me but comes while I am married, doesn't anything that either partner receives during the marriage become party of that union/community property? I live just one state above you in AR btw.
Don't comingle that money.
It stays yours until you co-mingle it with your spouse, then it's fair game. You should keep the funds in the trust or establish a new trust, and separate account (you only) and never mix it with your other "marriage" account. I would even caution withdrawing money or transferring money for household/husband use, in some cases they can argue that then your inheritance has been used and intended to be shared.
In a community property state, one spouse gets a nickel, both of them have the nickel.
Thats right. Im doing my dads estate now. Its small. But like I told my husband, whats mine is yours too. He dont care or need it. But it all goes in one pot.
@@sharoncrawford3042
I live in a community property state, what I earn is shared with my wife. What she earns is shared with me.
I've seen couples operate their finances separately and it leads to resentment.
The law cannot make anyone act with care, compassion, and self control.
I see from Rabalais that estate planning can be a Gargantuan task.
Thank you.
Noted👍🏼
Hello Sharon 😊
What if Felix married Amber in NON-Community property state but then move to a community Property State? is the LAW based on WHICH State? or Where they live?
What about separate accounts?
Does the 3rd party trustee take an income from the trust?
… Don’t commingle the inheritance.....been there, done that ......it worked.
Great topic, however should get to the "how to" part more quickly.
How do you protect your children if you have 3 children and dividing it up 3 ways. How do you protect the other children from in laws, or married children’s wives/husband from influencing the, and cheating the other children out of their inheritance ?
You protect your children by leaving all required documentation signed with your specific desires and instructions. Yes, inheritance can be equally divided among three children. Include instructions regarding division if one of your children does not survive you: a) do you want to leave everything to the other two, or b) do you want to leave to the children of the deceased. Your choice.
I had an interesting thing happen...😁😁 I am divorced 20 years. My in laws or ex in laws and I have still been very close. Spending holidays and living close. Taking them to Dr appt. etc...one day they called me from their attorney office and put me on speaker for us all. They asked to confirm my address and birthdate. Wanted to know if I remember their daughters date of death years ago. They wanted my cell number confirmed. That was it! I have seen them since but never wanted to ask WHATS UP...Lol! Anybody have idea??? 😁 They are alive and well in another state but their attorney is here local to me. Thanks 😁🇺🇸😁🇺🇸
I would ask them what that phone call from the lawyer's office was all about.
what about naming amber in the will to recieve ONLY one us dollar??? wouldnt that exclude amber from touching the rest?
Don't count on it. Unless the will is executed in a state in which an heir or potential heir risks forfeiting an inheritance when contesting a will, Amber might be able to drag things out in court until the legitimate heirs become fewer in number, even if she gets little or nothing as a result. A more effective way of excluding Amber would be to keep all assets not POD, TOD or jointly owned in a trust; wills are public documents, trusts are not, so Amber would never be entitled to know what was in the trust, much less demand to get what was in it.
@@buyerbware25 trusts can be sued then the court rules of discovery can be used to see all.
@@richardcranium5839 Are you implying that someone can sue a trust without the plaintiff knowing the names of the trustees or the name of the trust?
Is there a way to do this with a car?
We live in Texas(community property) and our son-in-law is a narcassistic, controlling, manipulative tyrant, so I watched this video. Is there some way we can totally restrict our inheritance in such a way that our son-in-law has to be dead before our daughter(if still alive at the time of his death) and/or grandchildren inherit our worldly goods? Thanks for your reply
My aunt and uncle did that in Wisconsin and it worked. They despised their son's wife (and with good reason). It all depends on the law of your particular State so consult an attorney. You can get referrals from your State's bar organization and get approximate fees. It's always worth it if you have something to leave and have strong feelings where it ends up.
My Great Grandfather's trust allowed only blood members of the family to inherit. Once our great-grandmother died in 1996, (our great-grandfather died in 1979), the trust was distributed. This was in Indiana. My grandfather (his son) died and my grandmother who married him got nothing in her eighties by then and it passed to my father. My brother and I are blood relatives but I doubt there will be much left to pass on as our mother comingled the funds and used much of the money.
How much was in the trust? Did it initially grow nicely? What were the funds used for normally? With the stock market up it may have very well grown in value?
@@MrBrian987987 It was a large sum of money and I doubt it was invested in the stock market. My great-grandfather was born in 1884. He was a very successful businessman, however conservative. The trust divided the funds among quite a few people by then. The funds were not used for anything except accumulation or for business interests at the time.
I thought there should be a word or phrase that ring-fences the son/daughters inheritance but excludes their sharing it, without resorting to a new Trust
Will you comment on utilizing a Trust Protector? We have specified a Trust Protector for the purpose of avoiding the Trust proceeds falling into the son-in-law's hands in the event of divorce.
In my will, I'm going to leave you all of my shirts so you can have more than one - or at least more than one color. 😁
Hi please check spelling with closed caption plus it very sloppy. thank you
Hello Richard 😊
I only have one kid, so she gets everything.
All good in theory???
Honestly it’s up the your kid but if he passes away it usually goes to the wife and kids if he has any.I don’t see the problem sharing of they will be together for the rest of their life’s.marriage is sharing money and working together as well not just love it sounds like you don’t want her to get anything
In the end, if my sister in law outlives my brother, she will recieve control of half of my family's farm. It will go to her nephew due to they not having children of their own. Her nephew has special needs. My children are worried and rightfully so, my brother has no legal will.
A good way to get made is to allow an inlaw to have access to a will.
7. All of the above