About 20 years ago my sister had no living will. She had a heat stroke and ended up in a coma after being found unconscious in her home. While my sister was in the hospital doctors told me she had no chance and should be taken off of life support. My brother and I were next of kin so we were told we could make the decision to have her taken off life support. I hesitated and said to at least give her a week or two. the doctor insisted she would be in what he called ventilator land and it would be very sad. About a week later my sister regained consciousness and the only thing she suffered was a drop foot. My sister told me she was meaning to have a living will drawn up and never got around to it. If my sister did have that living will she told me the way she wanted it written she'd have been taken off of life support. I'm not against the idea of a living will and they might be important but I just wanted to share that story.
Your story definitely supports the opinion that it is best not to have a Livng Will. I am very happy for you and your Sister that she survived after having gone into a coma! God bless you for keeping her alive so she could make a recovery and come out of the coma! We have had so many errors made by doctors in my family that I no longer put much trust in them.
@@jeanninegodwin2285 I would suggest getting a second legal opinion first, based on what you actually want and what your concerns are. This is a summary of what I call _canned_ legal work, typical forms and language, not a living will or "healthcare directive" that is done right.
About ten years back my sister came out of a coma after three months. My family was kind enough to keep her going until she recovered. She is still living. -) Thank you for the video and your kindness to explain it in layman terms.
Correct, Sarath. It depends on the circumstance. You can also do a living will valid only for a specific circumstance and not for outside that circumstance, like a high risk surgery, but you came thru so now you dont want that DNR to apply. Age and quality of life make a difference too
@@sophiesmith5922 Yes, I can't speak for every state, but I know in mine living wills are not "all or nothing" and you can leave detailed instructions that cover a variety of scenarios.
My friends husband survived and is doing very well because his wife refused doctors strong suggestions to take him off respirator. He had hanta virus and struggled until diagnosed, he is not an old man, he is working and contributing to society.
As an Oncology RN, I’ve seen a plethora of scenarios: *One pt. w/ a pacemaker (set at 30/min) was artificially being kept alive for 3 weeks. His skin & ears were necrotic & falling off. This deeply traumatized the family. The doctor never told the family that it could have been turned off 3 weeks earlier. *One dying patient-who had loved ones at her bedside-were extremely traumatized by the Donor Company plucking her eyeballs out while she was still alive. *Make sure to sign a DNR well beforehand if you have terminal cancer, especially if you’re elderly. It’s sadistic to have a Code Blue team crack all of your ribs which causes excruciating pain. *Always make sure that you have a suction machine & suction supplies & never allow a doctor to D/C the NG Tube and/or suction machine if you’re dying. One patient began gushing dark liquid stool out of both nares (nose) & then her mouth because the doctor had discontinued the nasogastric tube & the suction machine. Her son was in the room when this was happening, & it’s unconscionably criminal for any doctor to do this. *Never agree to be placed on doses of Morphine that are going to cause you to slip into a coma until & unless you have seen your loved ones to be able to say goodbye to them. *If you decide to go on a Morphine drip, have the Pain Management Team do this during the DAY shift. One night shift doctor at the hospital discontinued ALL of the patient’s pain meds & placed him on an unconscionably insufficient dose of Morphine & the patient was in excruciating pain. That doctor was covering for the entire hospital & was completely unqualified & ignorant about pain management. He caused the patient atrociously needless suffering. *Hospice has been known to give a patient Morphine 25 mg (sublingual) which caused their immediate death. If someone is on an IV, they start you out on Morphine 5 mg/hour. Never allow Hospice to just “expediently get rid of your loved one”. *Never place anyone in charge who obstructs you from saying your goodbyes and exchange forgivenesses with everyone that you need to. Leave this earth with a clean slate & a clear conscience. It’s not only the patient to be concerned with, it’s everyone that needs closure. *Never judge for another if they can “take it” to be called to a dying person’s bedside. One wife & son weren’t going to call the patient’s daughter because she had MS (Multiple Sclerosis). But I told them to include her. She was the one who ended up the strongest of all of them. If they had excluded her, it would have caused life-long damage. Grieve all together. Don’t let someone else end up as the caboose in the death process. It causes profound harm. *Never allow the hospital or Skilled Nursing facility to use HIPAA laws to block your loved ones from visiting or guarding over you. HIPAA is notorious for causing elder abuse because they block your loved ones from saving your life-especially in cases of narcotic overdoses. It might not be an RN who is giving you narcotics, but a CNA who is not qualified to do proper medical assessments. *Most Skilled Nursing Facilities do not have the same high caliber RNs as the specialty RNs in hospitals. *Never allow a hospital to just transfer you to a Skilled Nursing Facility that your loved ones haven’t personally checked out beforehand. *Even in cases of blatant Elder Abuse by a hospital or a Skilled Nursing Facility (SNF) where the District Attorney is involved, the District Attorney is criminal for not bringing justice to your loved one. They criminally protect Skilled Nursing Facility corporations instead. *Always have an attorney to protect your legal rights & sign this well-beforehand. *If you are dying, never think of using your death to punish someone. It causes you to have a horrible death. Don’t do it.
A lot of what you said is hard to understand. I have a science degree and I can't follow your discussion. I can only imagine how hard it is for others to follow. Doctors and nurses have their own language. Health care providers need to speak the language of the non medical people, so that we can learn to protect ourselves from medical malpractice. The only thing I learned from this discussion is to not trust doctors and nurses or hospital personnel for that matter. Thanks for the info. I will research it on my own.
Agree with all your remarks, you obviously know what you're talking about. It's so helpful to those who have no concept of medical procedures in a hospital or care facility.
A living will applies to everyone except a husband or wife. My wife had to undergo brain surgery to stabilize 4 intact aneurysms to prevent them from bursting. She signed a "living will" prior to those 3 seperate surgeries. She came through those like a champ. During her recovery in the ICU she 4 days later had her small intestine burst inside her body and I was called at 2 am in the morning as to whether I her husband would allow them the perform life saving surgery to remove a large portion of her small intestine. It would involve placing a breathing/feeding tube and other life support for her to have any chance of survival. I made the call to over ride that living will. Even though she never regained consionousness from the bowel surgery. I feel I made the right decision, giving her one last shot at life. It was a damned if you do, damned if you don't decision, but in my heart and under the circumstances I was given, I feel good about the decision I made.
Thank you Jenny Wren. One thing I have learned over over the last 5 months. How very important family is and how little of importance the myriad of "friends" a person has after a lifetime. Family will always be there for you through thick or thin, friends, even if they give condolences, it's usually hollow in nature. Of the hundreds of supposed friends my wife and I knew in life, not even one stepped up to offer any kind of emotional support what's so ever.
@@thebusterdog6358 You are so fortunate to have family who care. I am caring for my husband who is chronically sick, just the two of us now, his family were never close, and they never phone. That's life I'm afraid. He laughs when I say maybe we should put ourselves up for adoption! 🙏 for your future.
I would have been angry if my husband would have ignored my wishes like that. Intestines surgery involves having to wear a bag hanging outside the body to collect feces for the rest of her life. Did you think whether you would have been willing to change this bag several times a day for the rest of her life? Absolutely a No for me.
I tap the right hand side of the video and the video advances 10 seconds for each tap. It’s sort of a fast forward feature. Some channels do their ads for exactly 2 minutes on every one of their videos. I tap 19 quick taps and voila, the meat of the coconut appears.
My father had a Living Will. It was contingent on his quality of life, not necessarily that he would survive. He didn’t want any heroic measures, not even hydration, if there wasn’t a chance of good quality of life. I’m grateful he did this, because I may have not been able to.
My Mother had a brain tumor removed. As it grew back little by little (inoperable a second time) she would have spells where she was out of her head. We would take her to ER & after a few days of treatment she would come back fine. We knew it was eventually going to take her but she came back each time in good shape. One of our trips to the ER a doctor covering for her doctor ask me how many times was I going to do this. I looked him square in the face and told him that as long as she comes back walking and talking, I will continue to bring her! He made me so angry. I told him that yesterday she was walking and talking and fixed her own lunch and as long as she comes back with some quality of life that is what I will do. If she had a living will they would have let her die! So, be very careful about putting your life in the hands of doctors. She wasn’t their Mother! And you can bet your bootie they would keep bringing their own Mother back. They see so much suffering and such that they get complacent about dying. I don’t want to lay in a bed with tubes & respirators but I want my children to make damn sure that there is no other way. I’m a Christian and I’m not afraid of dying. I just want to stay with my family as long as my health will let me.
You mean if she had a _bad_ living will. I have no idea why it is assumed that a living will means that family is taken out of the decision-making process. Mine does exactly the opposite, specifying the two people in my family who are best qualified, both professionally and from relationship with me (in my view, of course), to make such a final decision once two doctors have made the determination. It informs the hospital and staff of who they must deal with, and general expectations for when recovery is no longer a reasonable expectation in those two family members' judgments, not just the doctors'. Mine combines standard living will language -- a "healthcare directive" -- with a durable power of attorney for healthcare. What it _does_ do is specify that I don't want indefinite artificial life support and takes other potential decision-makers, both inside and outside of my family, out of that loop and off the hook for what is decided--which is exactly where I want them. I don't think this is a great summary of _good_ legal work. This might be a good summary of a canned form, canned language or provisions, etc.
Sorry to hear about your mother and I hope you were able to get something in place that worked for your situation. The problem with some of the "Ready Made" forms available in each state- they are a One Size Fits Most. Most, not All.
I also had an experience like this. There are some very unethical doctors like this pushing people to make a decision when other docs feel there are still options. The lack of continuity of care with docs being a couple of days on and a couple of days off is bad in this regard. The day after, her othe doc came back and wanted to know why I had decided to let her go and I told him it was because of what the other doc said, and I could tell by the look on his face that it had happened before and he wasn't happy about it--not with me, but with the other doc.
Thank you for clarifying “Living Will” and what it means. All you hear today is, “you need a living will” but they never tell you WHY. This details the meanings of it. It helps me to make an informed decision. I’m saving all of your videos about the wills, power of attorneys, trusts, executor, etc. I need to go through them one at a time without losing track of them or need to refer back to them, and to share with my husband. We are in our 70’s, and our need to get this taken care of, has slapped us in the face. We do not live forever, and we are not going to get out of this alive. This will make it easier for us to get done what we want and need to be handled.
You are in your seventies and don't already have these documents and are still going to think about it? There is no time. You can no longer do it or shouldn't when you are senile. I'm around same age and have had all documents for 40 years.
Living wills are one of the most important gifts you can give your loved ones. My 34 sister had cancer and had a living will and ended up in a coma we were so grateful to know exactly what what she wanted.
Just wanted to add that I would give all of my legal work to this guy if he were in my state because hes clearly a caring person and will provide you with needed quality information. Thank you thank you thank you so much for these videos keep up the good work
I'm very pleased that I came across this video today. Last time I went to the hospital they put unreasonable pressure on me to sign a living will. The more they pressured me, the more certain I was that I did not want to sign it. They said we will crush your chest trying to revive you, do you want that? It was awful, but I did not sign it and you have explained it to me enough so that I know I was right to refuse. The hospitals around here pressure people each time they go to the hospital. Something about that doesn't seem right to me. Thank you.
Good for you. Speaking for my area (Midwest US), we’ve never felt any pressure prior to a surgery, procedure. They simply have asked if we have a POA or living will and we respond. That’s it.
I think there are doctors who think of money or freeing up a bed more then the patient so if they are pressuring that organization probably had a motive. I used to have a family doctor that I know I could trust with such things but she retired. I now have my executor and there is a document with my wishes to guide her or to review with my kids at the time.
@@youngtimer964 That's what they are ethically supposed to do. If you have questions or thoughts you want to discuss to assist you in your decisions (or lack of decisions) then it is wise to ask to speak with the social worker. Social workers usually do not pressure people to sign forms and they can help clarify any confusion.
@@ambilaevus7607 An ‘executor’ is the person who handles your estate after you have died. The person who handles your medical decisions if you’re not able is called a ‘Health Care Power of Attorney’ or HCPOA. Be sure that you have a HCPOA in addition to your POA that handles your financial affairs, and a Will for your estate after you have died.
I have a very bitter experience 17 years ago fell into the " miracleous" recovery experience of my spouse. It was a 2 weeks comatose period of brain hemorrhage, during that time a young physician was so eager to pull the plug he went so far as saying they have the authority to pull the plug if the patient was homeless (poor homeless souls)! On top of the gut wrenching worry, 24 hours vigilance and numerous insurance feedbacks, I had to fight this God figure! Thank God we didn't have that piece of legal document literally signing one's life away and eventually the real God is finally on our side! We live in a culture of worshipping authority while surrendering our own inborn power to listen to our intuition. It was a small victory but a giant wake up call for me! Thanks for your advice to the public.
It's more important to make sure you have selected someone who know what you want in no uncertain terms. My parents selected different children to make decisions for them based on which one of us understood their wants the most. It wasnt a drama thing. We all knew who and why for both of them. No dilemmas. The danger is not talking about what you want.
Thank you because you literally broke it down for anyone who’s not a lawyer. Great content and I appreciate your service and thank you for not charging us. You are such a blessing 🌻🙏🏻🌻
I have a "Power of Attorney for Health Care" that puts my designated person (family member or someone else) in charge for all medical decisions when I am not able to make that decision. It also includes a secondary person if the primary person is unavailable. I would never put a doctor in charge for making that decision. I have seen way too many times where a doctor will choose to do many unnecessary tests on the person after they have no chance of survival because the hospital makes money from all those tests through Medicare. Let the dead die in peace.
@@maretvilla1531 It may boil down to money, but a strong probability is that it is fear of malpractice litigation. They order the test because they don't want some lawyer alleging malpractice because good medical practice dictates test "X" if patient presents "Y" but the doctor didn't order test "X", ergo malpractice. So the doctor orders test "X" as a matter of self-defense against malpractice lawsuits.
@@tomveatch2994 Yep. I've read about that also: fear of litigation because America is the ultimate land of lawsuits. But I think there are some who are really taking advantage.
I will try my best to die at home so as not to involve lawyers or doctors. I can’t afford to make them any richer than they are already. They’re supposed to not let people suffer instead of just watching them slowly suffer while their bank accounts grow. Maybe I will get run over by a vehicle and die on the spot, I hear human body parts sell for good money!
Unfortunately, many family members are incapable of making a decision. They will keep someone alive at all cost no matter how poor the quality of life.
After having the responsibility of carry out my older brothers wishes and removing life-support when the time came... I wanted to make sure that no other family members had to live with this... I made arrangements to ensure my wishes were observed.
As a medical person, my one advice would be if you have a large family, get a Living Will, especially if you are fifty or older. I have seen families torn apart on trying to decide "What" you would have wanted and if all the family members don't agree, you can be kept alive, almost forever. There truly are worse things than death. We're all going to die, it's just a fact. Let your family members know your wishes and assign one person. Choose wisely, If "You" decide before hand, then that "burden" isn't placed on the family. I'm sure the laws are slightly different for each State. My state lets you choose a spokesperson in writing to make your wishes, if you are unable to make this decision. I love listening to your legal advice, especially about Estate Wills. Thanks so much for your time.
My mother in law had a living will because she was put on palliative care. It enabled her to feel reassured that the medical professionals would honour her preferences for palliative care and how things were going to end and who could help her when she was not mentally capable. I was sadly that person and was there when she died and I was able to ensure she wasn’t poked and prodded or when her heart stopped they wouldn’t try to resuscitate her. They just ensured that she wasn’t dehydrated which was a fear for her. She had bowel ischaemia, an enlarged heart and secondary breast cancer which had also spread to the lungs and was 86. She was in constant pain except when she was drugged up with morphine. As soon as the doctor at the hospital said that she was dying it was as if she heard him and she died. I saw the heart monitor slow right down and then stop. I was able to say goodbye to her and be with her throughout. I still miss her very much. Sometimes it’s a good idea.
Those decisions, Amaya, are usually made bc of insurance, financial situations, burden to family or primary caretaker, even numbers of beds available, priorities of triage, etc. And when loved ones are very ill or dying, the families are so stressed that the staff pressures them ( kindly) to let the person go, and that may be the final decision, whereas, under other circumstances they would have chosen differently. If you don't decide firmly, you may have other ppl making your decisions based on their beliefs, wh may be ok if it eases your mind.
Thank you for your comments. I'm a big fan of Living Wills, BUT I very much appreciate the points you make. It's good for a person to be fully informed.
Be informed! Excellent video asking viewers to reflect on four ideas before jumping on the living will bandwagon and signing away, as if our life is lived checking boxes. Most relevant to me is the warning that a living will takes choice away from family and gives a directive to medical professionals, who themselves are making an evaluative decision. Do I want a stranger ending all hope right now, or would I rather give family some time to listen and think and then pull the plug? Well, for others, it depends on who their family is and whether they're able to think lovingly and rationally in a tough moment.
I was an ICU nurse. I have a living will. I know the tests they have to do to decide you are in a vegetative state. I absolutely know that the doctors do not want to pull the plug when there is any chance of life. I have informed my family of my decisions also. Everyone is on board with my wishes.
Have you considered that food and water may be withdrawn, or have you decided not to have food and water withdrawn? I've known of many people who have come out of a coma or vegetative state fully functional despite the doctors having stated they were brain dead or would never recover.
@@57thorns I am in my mid 50's and have read many books and articles over the years including books on this subject. The last time I read a book on someone who had been in a coma and recovered from it was 6 months ago. I've also known others who have recovered from being in long comas and have known many people who know of similar stories. Being a Catholic and attending Sunday Mass each week and being associated with several organizations who pray together for special intentions I have always been aware of prayers requested for those who are ill and some have been in comas. I don't know what reason you have for being suspicious of my comment. Why are you concerned?
@@Tim85-y2q I am a Catholic. The Catholic Church states that no person in medical care may be deprived of food or water which is needed to sustain their life regardless of what a doctor has determined. Often doctors have been terribly wrong in determining the brain function of an injured or ill and presumably unresponsive person. I know of a case where someone had been in a coma and woke up after which she told her family she had heard the discussion on whether or not she was brain dead and should she receive food and water to keep her alive! She was in a coma and was able to hear everything being discussed around her! Deprivation of food and water leads to a very painful death! The medical profession today does not always explain the complete reality of these tragic decisions!
🙏My mama and I have spoken over year's, what our wishes have always been/are. She has never gotten written up and we finally got "Power of Health" It is so important for the whole family to know your wishes. The rest of my family never knew my mama's wishes. It was a HUGE SURPRISE to them. Papers need to be drawn up.🙏 I just happen to be trying to figure out the difference with WILLS and Trusts. Thank you, so much for your time and informative videos. God Bless
I love this guy, hes so informative. stuff that people really need to know. When you get a so called free consultation with an attorney for this stuff they don't want to give you the time of day until you're slapping down the dollar.How are you Supposed to Trust That you have the right attorney For the job without asking them questions & spending a little time with them to get a sense of who they are so you can decide if they are the right attorney for your needs
What is the difference between: A) Will B) Living Will C) Trust D) Revocable Trust E) Estate Planner F) Probate G) Last will and testament I trying to find out which one I need, maybe you can make a video on these.
A Will is a legal document which states the disbursement of your estate to whom and in what proportions. Living will is an expression of what you want to happen if you cannot speak for yourself, in the event that your medical condition is hopeless. A trust is a type of METHOD of disbursement for your estate. A Revocable trust is a trust that comes with conditions that must be met for the heir to receive his disbursement.' An estate planner is basically an expert to help you plan for you heirs to keep as much of their inheritance as possible, and to give other advice. Probate is a court proceeding during which the will is executed, and anyone who feels they have a legal claim to any of the estate who ISN'T in the will can be heard. Creditors, for example. A will is simply a legal document which states how and to whom you want your assets dispersed in the event of your death. Also, people frequently leave instructions in their will as to how they want their remains to be disposed and that sort of thing. Which of these you need depends on your family and financial situation. This is a good reason to consult an Estate Planner.
@@lesterjeffries2467 If you have a will you won't avoid probate but the judge disburse your estate according to your written instructions in the will. If you have a revocable trust, you will avoid probate and attorney fees (which is not the case with a will).
When the family will not let someone die, it is so hard on the health care workers. My daughter sometimes has patients that code a number of times and she has to perform cpr repeatedly to save them, only to have to do it again the next day. I am much more concerned about being kept alive way too long by our advanced medical system.
Me, too. I hope that I'm allowed to die with some dignity. I don't ask for every second no matter what; I don't want people to remember me that way. When it's time to go, I just want to say Goodnight, Gracie.
Thanks! I agree with this, and believe that it is possible to die with dignity on or off machines because they can add to my misery but nobody will give or take my dignity. Being medically dependant happens to most people in nearing end of life. For example, children with long term or permanent swallowing problems may never be taken off tube feeding, yet their quality of life is still fairly good. They may have a trach tube that they talk and breathe through depending on the diagnosis, and that too can sometimes be reversible. There's no way to assume that I would be in a permanent loss or vegetative state if those life extending interventions are used. I prefer home health care over a facility as soon as my needs permit. So I appreciate my family's input. They know my strong feelings, and at what point I'm opposed to heavy interventions. Also some doctors seem to feel that after 75-85 years, a person doesn't deserve much more than comfort care. Keep them away from me!
A living will, like any other legal document, is something that needs to be revisited on a regular basis. As he said, science and technology change. Sometimes rapidly. Sometimes slowly. Either way, periodically check up, and/or change, your living will.
Every time my spouse and I go to the doctor - the question is asked about do we have a living will. It may be a mandatory Medicare questions... I'm not sure. I prefer my health care proxy to follow pre-discussed options... so I keep saying no ... Appreciated this video because it is exactly how we personally feel.
Assuming your POA will put their emotions aside and abide by your wishes. That's why I've got a living will. No waiting for "miracles" or "God's healing touch."
@@jim.h Exactly, I am going through planning for myself and thought the enduring power of attorney covered my healthcare. Power of attorney can not give medical directions, only financial. That is what the advanced care planning documentation is for and ideally done while you are well and adjusted as your health changes. Getting in the right track.
It is a good idea to leave your HCPOA guidelines based on the lists included in a living will. That can be helpful. Keep in touch with them and talk to them about your wishes once in awhile.
I'm an ICU RN and I've seen every horror story that comes with not having a Living Well (also known as an Advance Directive or Directive to Physician). The video did a good job of explaining when a Living Will is not for you. If you do want a Living Will make sure your guardian is the person who will honor your wishes. That is not necessarily you closest relative. They need to be strong enough to stand firm if others have questions. TALK about your Living Will! Tell everyone involved: spouse, children, parents, sibling, the local dog catcher, what your wishes are and who will be your guardians. Be clear, open, loving. The families who say "Daddy told us what he wanted and that's what we're gonna do." have one less issue to deal with at this difficult time. Your family will remember you telling them what you want and can be proud of doing it; if you do get a Living Will seeing your wishes in writing will also help your family. Everybody have a good day!
Two points: First, talk to your family about your wishes. When Oregon passed their living-will law, my mom got a copy and filled it out but forgot to sign it. Luckily she had discussed it with me and I knew what she wanted and why. When the time came, I was able to carry out her wishes. (It hurt like hell but I'm at peace with it.) Second, my living only comes into effect if my wife is dead, otherwise it is my wife's choice. Being in our 70s, we do an annual update of "move'n on" plans.
@@Pytre1 Yes. My first sentence says "The following instructions will only be followed if my wife is incapable of making health care choices for me." Check your local laws to make sure you get things right. Our living wills were written at the same time as our regular wills.
There is so much pressure these days to sign living wills. Thanks for providing valuable insights into why they may actually _not_ be appropriate for everyone in every circumstance.
I was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer. The hospital handed me the Living Will form when we entered treatment. My husband was very negative about it so I opted to have my daughter make the life/death decision for me. After my surgery, I went 2 weeks with no nutritio and was getting very weak. If I had signed that paper they would not have fed me intravenously, but they did feed me and I began to get better. That was in 2017. My dear friend got sick. She wasn't eating and they had her sign on upon entering the hospital. Her daughter begged them to tryfeeding her but the living will wouldn't let them try...she died.. I'm definitely not for them at all.
I disagree. I think they can add new diagnoses as your health deteriorates and they will still make money. Hospitals want a Living Will so they are protected from being sued if you die, not so they make money.
You are very very cynical. As a retired physician, there ARE some of us who care about our patients and their families more than any financial gain that might result from certain care decisions.
It depends. It has to be medically necessary. Otherwise they move you to a "long term care" facility. Or if you are expected to recover, to rehab. They are not concerned about the money as much as the available beds. Its the insurance companies that make these rules, not hospitals
When you have been noted as DNR most of the time this decision negates a "living will" . The living will is letting doctor know who is in charge of the decisions already made by the "patient".
Thank you for making such great helpful videos, we are recently retired and have gone though the process of taking care of the estate and our health directives, it can be really confusing. As far as living well, we do not have one instead we have medical POA on each other with one of our sons as an alternate in the case neither of us can speak for ourselves, this seem like a much better option. I live in PA and our medical POA give some wiggle room to your POA as to how to apply you wishes. I had medical POA for my father who lived to be 94 mostly in good health, near his end I was able to be involved with his care and was able to help him makes is end of life decisions along with his doctors. Funny though in the end he told the doctors to buzz off, he was ready to go...
My father wanted nutrition and hydration in his living will but his medical power of attorney had the nursing home give him an overdose of morphine to end his life because she found it too much of a burden to keep up being his estate executor...esp. when there was money to be had. My father's pupils were tiny dots and he begged me to help him but it was not to be because grandchildren talked him out of his money. The grandchildren (medical power of attorney) had cleaned his room of all personal affects over a week before he died and he knew his hours were limited on this earth. The medical community cannot be sued for an overdose of pain medication because this topic was decided by the US Supreme Court years ago...and they say there is no euthanasia in the USA. Hogwash!
My father died in September and the nursing home automatically began to give him morphine. I was his guardian and stepped up and let them know that it was not okay unless he was in pain. He lived comfortably for a week without pain. They just wanted to hasten the death. My sisters and I were happy with his transition. He went very peacefully.
Our bachelor wealthy uncle who was a part of our family, passed unprepared and sudden. Four years in court battling our rights to inheritance, us vs. state. His sister, my MIL, immediately started working on her own will, seeing the disaster we were going through. Thank goodness she did. We lost her last year. No trouble with the estate etc. My husband did his, and I am working on mine, for our kids.
I think you putting this type of information and your other videos that you’ve done out there for people to hear and listen, and play it over if we need to, to understand all the stuff is phenomenal thank you for doing this.
My mother had a Living Will and informed me of what she wanted. This was fortunate because when it was needed after a series of strokes we could not find it and it wasn’t registered anywhere. Christmas Eve she had a final stroke which took the last of my mother and left a shell. I prayed for a miracle for four months then had to make the decision to take her off food and water. She passed four days later. As I stood outside the Nursing home I felt a little breeze dance around me and go along it’s way. I think it was my mother telling me she was happy and free. I live in Oregon. I will exercise my right to die if conscious, and have a Living will, no family, only dear ones who know my desires.
I’ve been in the hospital several times during my life and they’ve never asked me if I had a living will. My mom passed away after a long illness and I decided I should have one. I signed the papers. Last year I contracted coronavirus and I was hospitalized. I was so scared and extremely ill, but I needed to research the treatments they told me I ‘must’ authorize if I wanted to survive it. I quickly realized that I may die and probably would not survive the ill effects of the treatment, so I decided not to take it making the doctors seriously angry to my surprise. After I refused treatment, they took me back to my room and they asked me if I had a living will. This terrified me! I told them I didn’t want the living will and I put it in writing sending copies of my desire to vacate the will to a couple of friends. Just something to think about… the end could come a lot sooner than you think. Thank you for the video.
We are in our sixties now, but In our forties when we did our estate planning my husband signed a living will. I refused even though my attorney looked at me like I was crazy. Our daughter is a nurse and she will be making the final call for now. I have spoken to her and she knows exactly when I would want to be “unplugged”. Maybe in my 80’s I’ll sign one.
I have 4 siblings our darling Mums health was declining and she decided no further treatment. We had a lot of conversations about this and as her epa financial lifestyle and medical I knew exactly what she wanted. But I was one of 5. I discussed with mum that she tell the others so when the time came, there would be no confusion and or arguments and that they would know I would be speaking for her. When that sad day came I spoke for her and then had to tell my siblings when they got to the hospital. Thankfully she had wonderful staff looking after her and she passed peacefully. Nearly 5 years on and I miss her every day ❤
I know it's been three years since this was published, but I want to say thank you, anyway. God can take care of the delivery. Outstanding analysis of the real life consequences of the document. I am very grateful.
Great advice as was the simple legal Will video you put out. They really helped me out as I’ve already told everyone what’s happening and now I can put it in a letter and have it witnessed and notarized. One less thing to deal with.
Decide how you want to be treated at your end of life. Do not be afraid of the decision and do not leave it up to an already distraught friend or family member. They will thank you for it.
I agree with you wholeheartedly. The last time I was in the hospital they peer pressure me so much to sign one I did not! And also wanted me to sign a “do not resuscitate” , order I did not. I’m only 70 years old. I live alone I am very active. Nobody assist me. I believe The only reason they wanted me to do that is because I have an aneurysm. They kept telling me you have lived a long life. Signed the papers!
I don't consider 70 a long life. It's a blessing to get to be 70, but I wouldn't say a long life. What the medical team told you was bad advice at the least, and cruel at most.
If you want the doc to pull the plug, a living will is the only way to make it happen. Plus it doesn’t force your family to have to make such a decision.
I don't want my husband or daughter to feel the guilt associated with pulling the plug. I opt for the medical professionals to make that decision. I also don't want them lingering on for a hopeless case. If it comes to that, I want them to have closure. But this is a good video to understand the gravity of the decision.
I was/am the trustee of dad's Revocable Living Trust. It was set up with a knowledgeable attorney. I and my brothers were as one. Any difficult decisions had to have a mutual agreement. Three votes, three yesses. The will was expressed there, plus separate documents that jived with the RLT. With competent advice, minor issues were handled. I and my brothers were as one. The RLT was a great help for us. This RLT was set up nicely. It was smooth for us. Our thanks to Ms. Wade.
Trusts are to dictate distribution of assets. Doesn't have anything to do with medical decisions in a Designation of Health Surrogate or in a Living Will stating you do not want to be kept artificially alive.
This is what I Love about your videos ... You Educate, not brow beat information, on a normal persons level. Thanks Again for All you do EYL Chris from Chicago ❤
This video gave me another point of view from which to look at things. I am glad I watched. Thanks for such valuable information and insight. Nowadays, folks' organs are being removed without family members of the deceased patient knowing. When it comes to 2 doctors making such an end of life decision, I can see where a living will could contribute to a case of conflicting interest because there is more financial gain from a dead person than a living one.
My doctor’s office gave me the paperwork to sign on the very first visit....I found that a tad weird since it was my first visit.....but filled it out like a good little sheep. I have a lot of respect for what you do so I am really listening to this. Thank you! Maybe I should have taken the time to discuss with my loved ones first.....
Mickey, You can redo whatever paper work you did on your first visit. But, it would be wise for you to ask to review the papers you did at that time. It is not customary for a medical office to have you do any kind of living will, DNR, etc on a first visit. It is not a law that you even do one of these forms. You need to take charge and undo what has been done if you believe that is not what you would want done at the end of your life. If you did do a "Do Not Resuscitate" (DNR) you can also redo that directive, or not even do one at this time. Educate yourself and take charge so your family does not have to make these decisions during a time of stress. The "latest" form you do voids previous ones you have done. I am a retired social worker and have assisted many people in doing their forms, if they decide to do a form. Be smart!
A doctor who fought with me about every medical decision one day stormed out of the room and handed me a living will form. It didn't take long to imagine collapsing there, and she and her staff standing over me watching me die. I had said okay. I'll bring the signed form back at the next visit. So she checked off "has a living will" in my chart. I had a fit in visit shortly after that to tell her I did not intend to sign a living will, and watched her put that in my electronic record, right below my name, address and birth date. She claimed that the corporation she worked in had requested their doctors to give all their patients a chance to sign yes, or document that the patient does not have a living will, in big letters. She eventually excused me from being her patient.
Thank you for this video explaining the living will. I got a living will a few years ago for the purpose of making sure my children would get my assets but after listening to your video I went back to read mine and sure enough, I signed where doctors would have control if I can't make decisions and no nutrition or water! That is not what I want, is there a way I can change that?
durable power of attorney. with some one you trust implicitly, does not have to be spouse or kids. doctors don't know everything. they have been wrong.
the only problem with a durable power of attorney. at the moment of death, the power of attorney is no longer valid. learned that lesson when my mom passes.
@@sharonallen9802 In a Living Will, you designate Power of Attorney for Health Care. Their ONLY function is to make medical decisions *if you are unable to. Once you die, that power is no longer needed nor is it applicable in other areas. Completely different than a Power of Attorney.
@@sharonallen9802 Durable POA deals with financial issues only, not health/medical issues. The reason it ends at death is because that’s when the person designated as the executor of the estate in the Will takes over.
Agreed. If my partner had the original intent written in a living will, he would not have enjoyed an additional 5 yrs of life. But a patient advocate that can make hard decisions at the time is where the burden lies.
A living will takes the guilt off your love ones. The most important form is to designate a good healthcare surrogate. I have been a nurse for over 40 years in florida.
Thank you for taking on this potentially controversial subject. Your video informs me as intended and gives me the opportunity to inform my family and loved ones on the subject and my wishes. I’m in the long procrastinated effort of estate planning and finding other videos of yours equally compelling.
Thank you for the info but I do have a living will, #1 I don’t want my Children burdened with the decision of when to pull the plug, and #2 I don’t want to stay on life support and eat up my Children’s inheritance. At 65 years of age, I’m so tired I could go to ‘rest’ at any time, I’m good! 😉
At 65 you should not be tired all the time. 65 is too young to through in the towel. You should be out there going places, seeing people and enjoying yourself. I'm 87 and tired, but I'm not ready to throw in the towel. 65 is still a "young chicken"!
When I made decisions for my mother as she died in 1999, I became convinced that a living will was not a good thing. I had her medical power of attourney. We had spoken about her final wishes and I ignored them. She said she would always want to be on a ventilator, but neither of us imagined what the end of her life would be. As I contemplated a DNR for her a friend who was a hospice nurse told me I was not prolonging her life; I was prolonging her death. I won't go into the medical details, which were grusome, but it was clear she was not going to recover. Thanks for confirming what I have believed for over 24 years.
I already have a living will and persons for health power of attorney. I read some comments from others who refuse to do so for reasons I disagree with. It's not about what I want for you, not about what doctors want for you, not about what nurses want for you, not about what family wants for you it's about what you want for you. Want it, get it. Want to refuse it, refuse it.
BIngo ! I have zero trust now and I am part of that establishment, well I was, until I got fired for refusing the jabs. Sheep......have replaced intelligent humanity !
I'm very fortunate in that I have an orthopedic surgeon as a son and medical executor. He knows my personal wishes and we've talked about specifics in medical conditions. And he knows how to separate the mom/son Relationship to do what needs to be done.
Not true. Living wills can come in to play for people who are in some kind of vegetative state, or unable to make decisions like in Alzheimer’s disease. The patient must be declared incompetent by 2 physicians before the living will can be implemented. When properly executed, a living will and/or a durable POA can make the end of life go much more smoothly. And the key is to make sure whoever you have designated to be your “voice” know exactly what you want done. You should be communicating and updating with your designated person at least yearly.
Very informative. Thank you so much! I noticed here lately when I just made an appointment for a mammogram, the scheduler asked me did I have a living will! When asked that question I usually just say yes just to move on with it. Otherwise you go through "their" explanation of why you need one, what is in one, etc.!
Very nicely presented devil’s advocate discussion on the topic. Got some really good ‘hmmmmm’ moments out of it, it’s like having a winged rosy cheeked Paul on your shoulder whispering in your ear lol. Thanks as always Paul.
I LOVE YOUR VIDEOS❤️❤️❤️ It's like God sent them right when I need them! I've only watched a few, but watched those over & over💛. Can hardly wait to see more. Thank you ,& God Bless You 🙏❤️✝️🇺🇸.....from Tuscaloosa Alabama ❤️
I am a nurse. Believe this man. You don't want to have a stranger making decisions about your end of life. The people who love you may need a day or so to discuss and to make informed decisions if you trust them. The medical professionals need to do their part in keeping you comfortable and saving your organs in case you need them or your family donates then (donation needs to be discussed while you are well!)
The harvest team is fairly aggressive towards the confused families of these ICU, brain dead patients. ; especially the young guys who wrecked their bikes. They are the best, available organ donors we ever get. It is a hard job to get families to agree if their DL did not mention organ donation. Very painful for these poor grieving people but they are trying to do , the best they can guess......It is the gift that keeps on giving. In the West, we harvest but it is questionable in the East, as organs are seen having molecular consciousness. That would explain the change in the likes and dislikes people experience after they get a heart transplant. They are different.....
Lots to consider...thank you for putting this info forth...also makes me consider how a Living Will might impact an at-home hospice situation...great video.
My dad didn’t have a living will. I was his medical and financial power of attorney. I knew what he wanted, followed it, and he died peacefully in his sleep. I’m grateful he didn’t have a living will.
Just now seeing this video. Thank you for making me sit here and really think about what I've signed. Insurance companies dictate much of what goes on in all hospitals, and I do feel that that kind of decision would be made too quickly by the doctors. I've heard about and read many, many stories where in just a few days someone recovered after having doctors proclaim they're too far gone.
Hi, I just wanted to say that I do understand and agree that you should be sure you understand what yor signing be informed of all the aspects of the Living will before signing.I have been asked by the hospital if I have one quite a few times and I kept putting it off now I'm glad I did after watching this video.
Your family will keep you hanging on for a long time, even though they know that there's not going to be any recovery. What a terrible way to end your life.
Lots of people in deep comas have reported they were often aware and could hear, but they couldn't move or speak and yet had no brain activity or very low activity if it is measured at all. It is the cruelest thing to do if you let them die from thirst and hunger and they were aware of it. My son is a doctor and knows my wishes. If after a certain time I'm not going to make it, first monitor my brain and make sure I'm not here and turn off lifesaving machines, but in no case is he to starve me to death.
Thank you for this VERY INFORMATIVE VIDEO. My doctor highly recommended I sign a Living Will. After viewing this video, it spells out the ramifications of signing this document, which was never explained to me. If ever I am in a position of being very ill with no hope of recovery, I trust my family to make that decision.
All legal documents concerning end of life issues should be reviewed at least annually. Life is fluid, and many changes usually occur after ducoments are prepared but before they are implemented. Documents don’t change when there is a need for change though, unless we change them.
hey paul, correct me if I'm wrong as I often am, but doesn't the HCPOA give veto power to trump the living will? I explain that: while you don't want family members to have to pull the plug (putting a monster under their beds), you want to give them the power to trump the decisions you've made.
My nephew was on life support and the Dr' said there was no hope of him recovering and we were going to take him off life support and let him go. (There was no brain activity at all) So we were waiting for the last family member to arrive to say goodbye. Then, all the sudden, the Dr's wanted a consultation with us. It turned out that they had given him too much of a medicine and that it paralyzed his brain or something like that. When they discovered the error, they gave him something to counteract it and he woke up. He lived a few years after that and was bright and attentive, still able to enjoy life. My clinic is occasionally giving me the forms to fill out and I just won't do it. I told my kids to give me a couple weeks ....I may change that to 4 weeks. I just don't trust the idea of signing that and letting Dr's decide if I live or die. They do make mistakes as in the case of my nephew. They are only human and yeah, I would worry about someone with better insurance needing my bed or as one person suggested the testing they do on people, that doesn't sound good. Or someone needing a heart or liver or? Too much crime and yes, it is in our medical world also unfortunately.
I don't know why this came up in my feed, but I have always felt this way. I have never signed a living will because I want an actual human who cares about me to make an informed decision regarding that issue.
I think a better title for this video would have been, “make sure you understand the ramifications of your decision prior to signing.” I and only I have the right to decide what’s going to happen to me in those circumstances; not my spouse, or my children. That’s the whole point of a living will !!
I feel like this advice is about filling out pro-forma living wills. Our office has sort of 'standard' living wills, but it's important to talk through the intentions of the testator when filling it out. I've had to draft one where the client was insistent that she should NOT be terminated under any circumstances, because the doctors are always wrong and she had to be given every chance to recover. I had to warn her that this wasn't legally enforceable if it got to the courts (i.e. the hospital can't be forced to keep someone on life support indefinitely), but that we can make it clear to the family every effort should be made to keep her alive. Our forms have (1) the appointment of the deciding party, (2) the directives - this is what you WILL do, no matter what my family says, and then (3) the guidelines for the deciding party to use to make decisions.
I want the doctors to keep me alive by any means necessary. I want to keep my family members the heck away from me. I want them to have absolutely NO right to make ANY decision in regards to me. Can a living will make sure that happens?
Excellent video. I am a chaplain in the hospital and see this all the time. Living Will: The document speaks for you. HCPOA your agents speak for you if you cant. I have not seen, however, where the doctors will read the living will and say we are taking grandma off life support because her living will says so. Family will be consulted. No MD wants to be that rigid. Just my experience.
The ONLY reason to have a living will is to force THE conversation with friends and/or family. This is no reason to have that conversation with your lawyer--unless (s)he is a close member of your family.
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About 20 years ago my sister had no living will. She had a heat stroke and ended up in a coma after being found unconscious in her home. While my sister was in the hospital doctors told me she had no chance and should be taken off of life support. My brother and I were next of kin so we were told we could make the decision to have her taken off life support. I hesitated and said to at least give her a week or two. the doctor insisted she would be in what he called ventilator land and it would be very sad. About a week later my sister regained consciousness and the only thing she suffered was a drop foot. My sister told me she was meaning to have a living will drawn up and never got around to it. If my sister did have that living will she told me the way she wanted it written she'd have been taken off of life support. I'm not against the idea of a living will and they might be important but I just wanted to share that story.
Your story definitely supports the opinion that it is best not to have a Livng Will. I am very happy for you and your Sister that she survived after having gone into a coma! God bless you for keeping her alive so she could make a recovery and come out of the coma! We have had so many errors made by doctors in my family that I no longer put much trust in them.
@@jeanninegodwin2285 I would suggest getting a second legal opinion first, based on what you actually want and what your concerns are. This is a summary of what I call _canned_ legal work, typical forms and language, not a living will or "healthcare directive" that is done right.
@@ReflectedMiles My conclusion is based on legal advise from a trusted family lawyer.
Sure, but people might not want to take that chance and that's their prerogative.
@@ReflectedMiles Very true.
About ten years back my sister came out of a coma after three months. My family was kind enough to keep her going until she recovered. She is still living. -) Thank you for the video and your kindness to explain it in layman terms.
Correct, Sarath. It depends on the circumstance. You can also do a living will valid only for a specific circumstance and not for outside that circumstance, like a high risk surgery, but you came thru so now you dont want that DNR to apply. Age and quality of life make a difference too
@@sophiesmith5922 Yes, I can't speak for every state, but I know in mine living wills are not "all or nothing" and you can leave detailed instructions that cover a variety of scenarios.
My friends husband survived and is doing very well because his wife refused doctors strong suggestions to take him off respirator. He had hanta virus and struggled until diagnosed, he is not an old man, he is working and contributing to society.
As an Oncology RN, I’ve seen a plethora of scenarios:
*One pt. w/ a pacemaker (set at 30/min) was artificially being kept alive for 3 weeks. His skin & ears were necrotic & falling off. This deeply traumatized the family. The doctor never told the family that it could have been turned off 3 weeks earlier.
*One dying patient-who had loved ones at her bedside-were extremely traumatized by the Donor Company plucking her eyeballs out while she was still alive.
*Make sure to sign a DNR well beforehand if you have terminal
cancer, especially if you’re elderly. It’s sadistic to have a Code Blue team crack all of your ribs which causes excruciating pain.
*Always make sure that you have a suction machine & suction supplies & never allow a doctor to D/C the NG Tube and/or suction machine if you’re dying.
One patient began gushing dark liquid stool out of both nares (nose) & then her mouth because the doctor had discontinued the nasogastric tube & the suction machine. Her son was in the room when this was happening, & it’s unconscionably criminal for any doctor to do this.
*Never agree to be placed on doses of Morphine that are going to cause you to slip into a coma until & unless you have seen your loved ones to be able to say goodbye to them.
*If you decide to go on a Morphine drip, have the Pain Management Team do this during the DAY shift. One night shift doctor at the hospital discontinued ALL of the patient’s pain meds & placed him on an unconscionably insufficient dose of Morphine & the patient was in excruciating pain. That doctor was covering for the entire hospital & was completely unqualified & ignorant about pain management. He caused the patient atrociously needless suffering.
*Hospice has been known to give a patient Morphine 25 mg (sublingual) which caused their immediate death. If someone is on an IV, they start you out on Morphine 5 mg/hour. Never allow Hospice to just “expediently get rid of your loved one”.
*Never place anyone in charge who obstructs you from saying your goodbyes and exchange forgivenesses with everyone that you need to. Leave this earth with a clean slate & a clear conscience. It’s not only the patient to be concerned with, it’s everyone that needs closure.
*Never judge for another if they can “take it” to be called to a dying person’s bedside. One wife & son weren’t going to call the patient’s daughter because she had MS (Multiple Sclerosis). But I told them to include her. She was the one who ended up the strongest of all of them. If they had excluded her, it would have caused life-long damage. Grieve all together. Don’t let someone else end up as the caboose in the death process. It causes profound harm.
*Never allow the hospital or Skilled Nursing facility to use HIPAA laws to block your loved ones from visiting or guarding over you. HIPAA is notorious for causing elder abuse because they block your loved ones from saving your life-especially in cases of narcotic overdoses. It might not be an RN who is giving you narcotics, but a CNA who is not qualified to do proper medical assessments.
*Most Skilled Nursing Facilities do not have the same high caliber RNs as the specialty RNs in hospitals.
*Never allow a hospital to just transfer you to a Skilled Nursing Facility that your loved ones haven’t personally checked out beforehand.
*Even in cases of blatant Elder Abuse by a hospital or a Skilled Nursing Facility (SNF) where the District Attorney is involved, the District Attorney is criminal for not bringing justice to your loved one. They criminally protect Skilled Nursing Facility corporations instead.
*Always have an attorney to protect your legal rights & sign this well-beforehand.
*If you are dying, never think of using your death to punish someone. It causes you to have a horrible death. Don’t do it.
Thank you for this, these examples show what happens when you let someone other than your own close family members make decisions regarding you.
A lot of what you said is hard to understand. I have a science degree and I can't follow your discussion. I can only imagine how hard it is for others to follow. Doctors and nurses have their own language. Health care providers need to speak the language of the non medical people, so that we can learn to protect ourselves from medical malpractice. The only thing I learned from this discussion is to not trust doctors and nurses or hospital personnel for that matter. Thanks for the info. I will research it on my own.
That is an incredible amount of info....priceless.
Thankyou so much❤️❤️❤️❤️💋💋💋💋
Thank you for putting so much time and thought into your advice. I am certain this will be helpful to countless people as well as appreciated.
Agree with all your remarks, you obviously know what you're talking about. It's so helpful to those who have no concept of medical procedures in a hospital or care facility.
A living will applies to everyone except a husband or wife. My wife had to undergo brain surgery to stabilize 4 intact aneurysms to prevent them from bursting. She signed a "living will" prior to those 3 seperate surgeries. She came through those like a champ. During her recovery in the ICU she 4 days later had her small intestine burst inside her body and I was called at 2 am in the morning as to whether I her husband would allow them the perform life saving surgery to remove a large portion of her small intestine. It would involve placing a breathing/feeding tube and other life support for her to have any chance of survival. I made the call to over ride that living will. Even though she never regained consionousness from the bowel surgery. I feel I made the right decision, giving her one last shot at life. It was a damned if you do, damned if you don't decision, but in my heart and under the circumstances I was given, I feel good about the decision I made.
@ The Busterdog. You were so right. I wish you well for the future.
Thank you Jenny Wren. One thing I have learned over over the last 5 months. How very important family is and how little of importance the myriad of "friends" a person has after a lifetime. Family will always be there for you through thick or thin, friends, even if they give condolences, it's usually hollow in nature. Of the hundreds of supposed friends my wife and I knew in life, not even one stepped up to offer any kind of emotional support what's so ever.
@@thebusterdog6358 You are so fortunate to have family who care. I am caring for my husband who is chronically sick, just the two of us now, his family were never close, and they never phone. That's life I'm afraid. He laughs when I say maybe we should put ourselves up for adoption! 🙏 for your future.
I would have been angry if my husband would have ignored my wishes like that. Intestines surgery involves having to wear a bag hanging outside the body to collect feces for the rest of her life. Did you think whether you would have been willing to change this bag several times a day for the rest of her life? Absolutely a No for me.
Bless you.
It's such a relief to find a presenter who doesn't start with a long brand introduction video and then take forever to start with the good stuff.
Are you kidding? It took him 4 minutes to get to the first reason.
@@QuakerLady ya, but only to describe background, not an advertisement
I tap the right hand side of the video and the video advances 10 seconds for each tap. It’s sort of a fast forward feature. Some channels do their ads for exactly 2 minutes on every one of their videos. I tap 19 quick taps and voila, the meat of the coconut appears.
So true!!!
My father had a Living Will. It was contingent on his quality of life, not necessarily that he would survive. He didn’t want any heroic measures, not even hydration, if there wasn’t a chance of good quality of life. I’m grateful he did this, because I may have not been able to.
Your father was obviously a very kind and thoughtful man ❤
My Mother had a brain tumor removed. As it grew back little by little (inoperable a second time) she would have spells where she was out of her head. We would take her to ER & after a few days of treatment she would come back fine. We knew it was eventually going to take her but she came back each time in good shape. One of our trips to the ER a doctor covering for her doctor ask me how many times was I going to do this. I looked him square in the face and told him that as long as she comes back walking and talking, I will continue to bring her! He made me so angry. I told him that yesterday she was walking and talking and fixed her own lunch and as long as she comes back with some quality of life that is what I will do. If she had a living will they would have let her die! So, be very careful about putting your life in the hands of doctors. She wasn’t their Mother! And you can bet your bootie they would keep bringing their own Mother back. They see so much suffering and such that they get complacent about dying. I don’t want to lay in a bed with tubes & respirators but I want my children to make damn sure that there is no other way. I’m a Christian and I’m not afraid of dying. I just want to stay with my family as long as my health will let me.
You mean if she had a _bad_ living will. I have no idea why it is assumed that a living will means that family is taken out of the decision-making process. Mine does exactly the opposite, specifying the two people in my family who are best qualified, both professionally and from relationship with me (in my view, of course), to make such a final decision once two doctors have made the determination. It informs the hospital and staff of who they must deal with, and general expectations for when recovery is no longer a reasonable expectation in those two family members' judgments, not just the doctors'. Mine combines standard living will language -- a "healthcare directive" -- with a durable power of attorney for healthcare. What it _does_ do is specify that I don't want indefinite artificial life support and takes other potential decision-makers, both inside and outside of my family, out of that loop and off the hook for what is decided--which is exactly where I want them. I don't think this is a great summary of _good_ legal work. This might be a good summary of a canned form, canned language or provisions, etc.
Sorry to hear about your mother and I hope you were able to get something in place that worked for your situation. The problem with some of the "Ready Made" forms available in each state- they are a One Size Fits Most. Most, not All.
@@ReflectedMiles : Thank you!
I also had an experience like this. There are some very unethical doctors like this pushing people to make a decision when other docs feel there are still options. The lack of continuity of care with docs being a couple of days on and a couple of days off is bad in this regard. The day after, her othe doc came back and wanted to know why I had decided to let her go and I told him it was because of what the other doc said, and I could tell by the look on his face that it had happened before and he wasn't happy about it--not with me, but with the other doc.
when doctors started killing babies they lost all my respect and trust
Thank you for clarifying “Living Will” and what it means. All you hear today is, “you need a living will” but they never tell you WHY. This details the meanings of it. It helps me to make an informed decision.
I’m saving all of your videos about the wills, power of attorneys, trusts, executor, etc. I need to go through them one at a time without losing track of them or need to refer back to them, and to share with my husband. We are in our 70’s, and our need to get this taken care of, has slapped us in the face. We do not live forever, and we are not going to get out of this alive. This will make it easier for us to get done what we want and need to be handled.
You are in your seventies and don't already have these documents and are still going to think about it? There is no time. You can no longer do it or shouldn't when you are senile. I'm around same age and have had all documents for 40 years.
Living wills are one of the most important gifts you can give your loved ones. My 34 sister had cancer and had a living will and ended up in a coma we were so grateful to know exactly what what she wanted.
That is so wonderful. Awful time, but at least you knew what to do.
@@charleBerglund find some one to give it to. Someone that aligns with your values, I guess that’s what I would do
@@charleBerglund ignorance is curable, but stupidity is not.
Exactly! I’m filling out one now. No longterm ventilator and brain dead.
You are right. Don't want the decision on my childern.
Just wanted to add that I would give all of my legal work to this guy if he were in my state because hes clearly a caring person and will provide you with needed quality information. Thank you thank you thank you so much for these videos keep up the good work
Agreed!
Me, too!!
Me too.
Yep, me too
Agree!
I'm very pleased that I came across this video today. Last time I went to the hospital they put unreasonable pressure on me to sign a living will. The more they pressured me, the more certain I was that I did not want to sign it. They said we will crush your chest trying to revive you, do you want that? It was awful, but I did not sign it and you have explained it to me enough so that I know I was right to refuse. The hospitals around here pressure people each time they go to the hospital. Something about that doesn't seem right to me. Thank you.
Good for you. Speaking for my area (Midwest US), we’ve never felt any pressure prior to a surgery, procedure. They simply have asked if we have a POA or living will and we respond. That’s it.
Same experience
I think there are doctors who think of money or freeing up a bed more then the patient so if they are pressuring that organization probably had a motive.
I used to have a family doctor that I know I could trust with such things but she retired. I now have my executor and there is a document with my wishes to guide her or to review with my kids at the time.
@@youngtimer964 That's what they are ethically supposed to do. If you have questions or thoughts you want to discuss to assist you in your decisions (or lack of decisions) then it is wise to ask to speak with the social worker. Social workers usually do not pressure people to sign forms and they can help clarify any confusion.
@@ambilaevus7607 An ‘executor’ is the person who handles your estate after you have died. The person who handles your medical decisions if you’re not able is called a ‘Health Care Power of Attorney’ or HCPOA. Be sure that you have a HCPOA in addition to your POA that handles your financial affairs, and a Will for your estate after you have died.
I have a very bitter experience 17 years ago fell into the " miracleous" recovery experience of my spouse. It was a 2 weeks comatose period of brain hemorrhage, during that time a young physician was so eager to pull the plug he went so far as saying they have the authority to pull the plug if the patient was homeless (poor homeless souls)! On top of the gut wrenching worry, 24 hours vigilance and numerous insurance feedbacks, I had to fight this God figure! Thank God we didn't have that piece of legal document literally signing one's life away and eventually the real God is finally on our side! We live in a culture of worshipping authority while surrendering our own inborn power to listen to our intuition. It was a small victory but a giant wake up call for me! Thanks for your advice to the public.
It's more important to make sure you have selected someone who know what you want in no uncertain terms. My parents selected different children to make decisions for them based on which one of us understood their wants the most. It wasnt a drama thing. We all knew who and why for both of them. No dilemmas. The danger is not talking about what you want.
Thank you because you literally broke it down for anyone who’s not a lawyer. Great content and I appreciate your service and thank you for not charging us. You are such a blessing 🌻🙏🏻🌻
Thank you for the very useful information in preparing and making necessary decisions.
I have a "Power of Attorney for Health Care" that puts my designated person (family member or someone else) in charge for all medical decisions when I am not able to make that decision. It also includes a secondary person if the primary person is unavailable. I would never put a doctor in charge for making that decision. I have seen way too many times where a doctor will choose to do many unnecessary tests on the person after they have no chance of survival because the hospital makes money from all those tests through Medicare. Let the dead die in peace.
True. Doctors are good in doing that. As many as unnecessary tests as they could think of. It all boils down to money.
@@maretvilla1531 It may boil down to money, but a strong probability is that it is fear of malpractice litigation. They order the test because they don't want some lawyer alleging malpractice because good medical practice dictates test "X" if patient presents "Y" but the doctor didn't order test "X", ergo malpractice. So the doctor orders test "X" as a matter of self-defense against malpractice lawsuits.
@@tomveatch2994 Yep. I've read about that also: fear of litigation because America is the ultimate land of lawsuits. But I think there are some who are really taking advantage.
Thank You for your insight.
I will try my best to die at home so as not to involve lawyers or doctors. I can’t afford to make them any richer than they are already. They’re supposed to not let people suffer instead of just watching them slowly suffer while their bank accounts grow. Maybe I will get run over by a vehicle and die on the spot, I hear human body parts sell for good money!
Unfortunately, many family members are incapable of making a decision. They will keep someone alive at all cost no matter how poor the quality of life.
Yes, that's true. My brother-in-law is such a person. I would hate to have him in charge of me after what he did when his father was dying.
Not in my case. The moment my heirs pull the plug on me, they will become rich!
After having the responsibility of carry out my older brothers wishes and removing life-support when the time came... I wanted to make sure that no other family members had to live with this... I made arrangements to ensure my wishes were observed.
The sister from California, flies in, knowing nothing about anything, and wants to save Dad.
As a medical person, my one advice would be if you have a large family, get a Living Will, especially if you are fifty or older. I have seen families torn apart on trying to decide "What" you would have wanted and if all the family members don't agree, you can be kept alive, almost forever. There truly are worse things than death. We're all going to die, it's just a fact. Let your family members know your wishes and assign one person. Choose wisely, If "You" decide before hand, then that "burden" isn't placed on the family. I'm sure the laws are slightly different for each State. My state lets you choose a spokesperson in writing to make your wishes, if you are unable to make this decision.
I love listening to your legal advice, especially about Estate Wills. Thanks so much for your time.
Why aren't you telling them the real decision has to do w factors other than choice?
@@grandmalovesmebest I don’t understand your question?
😊
My mother in law had a living will because she was put on palliative care. It enabled her to feel reassured that the medical professionals would honour her preferences for palliative care and how things were going to end and who could help her when she was not mentally capable. I was sadly that person and was there when she died and I was able to ensure she wasn’t poked and prodded or when her heart stopped they wouldn’t try to resuscitate her. They just ensured that she wasn’t dehydrated which was a fear for her. She had bowel ischaemia, an enlarged heart and secondary breast cancer which had also spread to the lungs and was 86. She was in constant pain except when she was drugged up with morphine. As soon as the doctor at the hospital said that she was dying it was as if she heard him and she died. I saw the heart monitor slow right down and then stop. I was able to say goodbye to her and be with her throughout. I still miss her very much. Sometimes it’s a good idea.
Those decisions, Amaya, are usually made bc of insurance, financial situations, burden to family or primary caretaker, even numbers of beds available, priorities of triage, etc. And when loved ones are very ill or dying, the families are so stressed that the staff pressures them ( kindly) to let the person go, and that may be the final decision, whereas, under other circumstances they would have chosen differently. If you don't decide firmly, you may have other ppl making your decisions based on their beliefs, wh may be ok if it eases your mind.
What a sweet story. There are so many horror stories about mothers in law it is a real treat to hear about someone who had a very close bond with MIL.
Thank you for your comments. I'm a big fan of Living Wills, BUT I very much appreciate the points you make. It's good for a person to be fully informed.
Thanks for this video. You made me realize that what I want was a “Medical Power of Attorney”. 😊
Be informed! Excellent video asking viewers to reflect on four ideas before jumping on the living will bandwagon and signing away, as if our life is lived checking boxes. Most relevant to me is the warning that a living will takes choice away from family and gives a directive to medical professionals, who themselves are making an evaluative decision. Do I want a stranger ending all hope right now, or would I rather give family some time to listen and think and then pull the plug? Well, for others, it depends on who their family is and whether they're able to think lovingly and rationally in a tough moment.
We had a living will for my parents. One of the best decisions we made. I would suggest most families do it.
Actually this information gives me the idea that a living Will is the correct thing for me to do. Being an older single person. Again Thank You.
Yup. Exactly what I was going to post. Thank you.
I was an ICU nurse. I have a living will. I know the tests they have to do to decide you are in a vegetative state. I absolutely know that the doctors do not want to pull the plug when there is any chance of life. I have informed my family of my decisions also. Everyone is on board with my wishes.
Have you considered that food and water may be withdrawn, or have you decided not to have food and water withdrawn? I've known of many people who have come out of a coma or vegetative state fully functional despite the doctors having stated they were brain dead or would never recover.
@@jeanninegodwin2285 Some people are ok with that though. It's a serious decision and not one to be taken lightly, but it is a personal one.
@@jeanninegodwin2285 That sounds very suspicious. "known of many people".
@@57thorns I am in my mid 50's and have read many books and articles over the years including books on this subject. The last time I read a book on someone who had been in a coma and recovered from it was 6 months ago. I've also known others who have recovered from being in long comas and have known many people who know of similar stories. Being a Catholic and attending Sunday Mass each week and being associated with several organizations who pray together for special intentions I have always been aware of prayers requested for those who are ill and some have been in comas. I don't know what reason you have for being suspicious of my comment. Why are you concerned?
@@Tim85-y2q I am a Catholic. The Catholic Church states that no person in medical care may be deprived of food or water which is needed to sustain their life regardless of what a doctor has determined. Often doctors have been terribly wrong in determining the brain function of an injured or ill and presumably unresponsive person. I know of a case where someone had been in a coma and woke up after which she told her family she had heard the discussion on whether or not she was brain dead and should she receive food and water to keep her alive! She was in a coma and was able to hear everything being discussed around her! Deprivation of food and water leads to a very painful death! The medical profession today does not always explain the complete reality of these tragic decisions!
🙏My mama and I have spoken over year's, what our wishes have always been/are. She has never gotten written up and we finally got "Power of Health" It is so important for the whole family to know your wishes. The rest of my family never knew my mama's wishes. It was a HUGE SURPRISE to them. Papers need to be drawn up.🙏 I just happen to be trying to figure out the difference with WILLS and Trusts. Thank you, so much for your time and informative videos. God Bless
I love this guy, hes so informative. stuff that people really need to know. When you get a so called free consultation with an attorney for this stuff they don't want to give you the time of day until you're slapping down the dollar.How are you Supposed to Trust That you have the right attorney
For the job without asking them questions & spending a little time with them to get a sense of who they are so you can decide if they are the right attorney for your needs
Exactly right! Thanks to this Gentleman, I'm much better informed!
What is the difference between:
A) Will
B) Living Will
C) Trust
D) Revocable Trust
E) Estate Planner
F) Probate
G) Last will and testament
I trying to find out which one I need, maybe you can make a video on these.
A Will is a legal document which states the disbursement of your estate to whom and in what proportions.
Living will is an expression of what you want to happen if you cannot speak for yourself, in the event that your medical condition is hopeless.
A trust is a type of METHOD of disbursement for your estate.
A Revocable trust is a trust that comes with conditions that must be met for the heir to receive his disbursement.'
An estate planner is basically an expert to help you plan for you heirs to keep as much of their inheritance as possible, and to give other advice.
Probate is a court proceeding during which the will is executed, and anyone who feels they have a legal claim to any of the estate who ISN'T in the will can be heard. Creditors, for example.
A will is simply a legal document which states how and to whom you want your assets dispersed in the event of your death. Also, people frequently leave instructions in their will as to how they want their remains to be disposed and that sort of thing.
Which of these you need depends on your family and financial situation. This is a good reason to consult an Estate Planner.
@@efandmk3382 Thank you!
@@lesterjeffries2467 If you have a will you won't avoid probate but the judge disburse your estate according to your written instructions in the will.
If you have a revocable trust, you will avoid probate and attorney fees (which is not the case with a will).
@@efandmk3382 That was very kind of you!
@@_S.R._ Thanks!
When the family will not let someone die, it is so hard on the health care workers. My daughter sometimes has patients that code a number of times and she has to perform cpr repeatedly to save them, only to have to do it again the next day.
I am much more concerned about being kept alive way too long by our advanced medical system.
Me, too. I hope that I'm allowed to die with some dignity. I don't ask for every second no matter what; I don't want people to remember me that way. When it's time to go, I just want to say Goodnight, Gracie.
Thanks! I agree with this, and believe that it is possible to die with dignity on or off machines because they can add to my misery but nobody will give or take my dignity. Being medically dependant happens to most people in nearing end of life. For example, children with long term or permanent swallowing problems may never be taken off tube feeding, yet their quality of life is still fairly good. They may have a trach tube that they talk and breathe through depending on the diagnosis, and that too can sometimes be reversible. There's no way to assume that I would be in a permanent loss or vegetative state if those life extending interventions are used. I prefer home health care over a facility as soon as my needs permit. So I appreciate my family's input. They know my strong feelings, and at what point I'm opposed to heavy interventions. Also some doctors seem to feel that after 75-85 years, a person doesn't deserve much more than comfort care. Keep them away from me!
@@charleBerglund this comment is off the subject
But look at all the money you'll make for them THE LONGER YOU STAY "ALIVE".
@@charleBerglund doctors can put people in nursing homes. happens all the time. its nicer to stay home as long as possible
A living will, like any other legal document, is something that needs to be revisited on a regular basis.
As he said, science and technology change.
Sometimes rapidly.
Sometimes slowly.
Either way, periodically check up, and/or change, your living will.
…..and all other end of life documentation as well. For most of us, life is in flux from beginning to end. Definitely sage advice.
Every time my spouse and I go to the doctor - the question is asked about do we have a living will. It may be a mandatory Medicare questions... I'm not sure. I prefer my health care proxy to follow pre-discussed options... so I keep saying no ... Appreciated this video because it is exactly how we personally feel.
Excellent video. My wife and I destroyed our living wills. We kept our health care powers of attorney, however.
Assuming your POA will put their emotions aside and abide by your wishes. That's why I've got a living will. No waiting for "miracles" or "God's healing touch."
@@jim.h Exactly, I am going through planning for myself and thought the enduring power of attorney covered my healthcare.
Power of attorney can not give medical directions, only financial. That is what the advanced care planning documentation is for and ideally done while you are well and adjusted as your health changes. Getting in the right track.
It is a good idea to leave your HCPOA guidelines based on the lists included in a living will. That can be helpful. Keep in touch with them and talk to them about your wishes once in awhile.
@@shawnaford5540 The poster did say ‘healthcare POA’ which is the one who can make medical decisions until death.
@@zuzuspetals9281 might just be terminology depending on the provincial laws? Definitely check your local laws.
I'm an ICU RN and I've seen every horror story that comes with not having a Living Well (also known as an Advance Directive or Directive to Physician).
The video did a good job of explaining when a Living Will is not for you.
If you do want a Living Will make sure your guardian is the person who will honor your wishes. That is not necessarily you closest relative. They need to be strong enough to stand firm if others have questions.
TALK about your Living Will! Tell everyone involved: spouse, children, parents, sibling, the local dog catcher, what your wishes are and who will be your guardians. Be clear, open, loving. The families who say "Daddy told us what he wanted and that's what we're gonna do." have one less issue to deal with at this difficult time. Your family will remember you telling them what you want and can be proud of doing it; if you do get a Living Will seeing your wishes in writing will also help your family.
Everybody have a good day!
Two points: First, talk to your family about your wishes. When Oregon passed their living-will law, my mom got a copy and filled it out but forgot to sign it. Luckily she had discussed it with me and I knew what she wanted and why. When the time came, I was able to carry out her wishes. (It hurt like hell but I'm at peace with it.) Second, my living only comes into effect if my wife is dead, otherwise it is my wife's choice. Being in our 70s, we do an annual update of "move'n on" plans.
How were you able to specify that your living will is secondary to your spouse's wishes? I want to do something like that as well.
@@Pytre1 Yes. My first sentence says "The following instructions will only be followed if my wife is incapable of making health care choices for me." Check your local laws to make sure you get things right. Our living wills were written at the same time as our regular wills.
There is so much pressure these days to sign living wills. Thanks for providing valuable insights into why they may actually _not_ be appropriate for everyone in every circumstance.
I was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer. The hospital handed me the Living Will form when we entered treatment. My husband was very negative about it so I opted to have my daughter make the life/death decision for me. After my surgery, I went 2 weeks with no nutritio and was getting very weak. If I had signed that paper they would not have fed me intravenously, but they did feed me and I began to get better. That was in 2017. My dear friend got sick. She wasn't eating and they had her sign on upon entering the hospital. Her daughter begged them to tryfeeding her but the living will wouldn't let them try...she died.. I'm definitely not for them at all.
Cessation of life support is based on no hope.
Hospitals get paid a set amount of money per admission. They don’t want you to stay longer than the average stay for that diagnosis. Follow the money.
Been that way since 1982 when DRG’s (diagnostic related groupings) came into being.
I disagree. I think they can add new diagnoses as your health deteriorates and they will still make money.
Hospitals want a Living Will so they are protected from being sued if you die, not so they make money.
You are very very cynical. As a retired physician, there ARE some of us who care about our patients and their families more than any financial gain that might result from certain care decisions.
It depends. It has to be medically necessary. Otherwise they move you to a "long term care" facility. Or if you are expected to recover, to rehab. They are not concerned about the money as much as the available beds. Its the insurance companies that make these rules, not hospitals
When you have been noted as DNR most of the time this decision negates a "living will" . The living will is letting doctor know who is in charge of the decisions already made by the "patient".
I’m an attorney in Arizona. I mention these types of concerns in all of my consultations. Living wills can be useful, but you have to use them right.
Thank you for making such great helpful videos, we are recently retired and have gone though the process of taking care of the estate and our health directives, it can be really confusing. As far as living well, we do not have one instead we have medical POA on each other with one of our sons as an alternate in the case neither of us can speak for ourselves, this seem like a much better option. I live in PA and our medical POA give some wiggle room to your POA as to how to apply you wishes. I had medical POA for my father who lived to be 94 mostly in good health, near his end I was able to be involved with his care and was able to help him makes is end of life decisions along with his doctors. Funny though in the end he told the doctors to buzz off, he was ready to go...
My father wanted nutrition and hydration in his living will but his medical power of attorney had the nursing home give him an overdose of morphine to end his life because she found it too much of a burden to keep up being his estate executor...esp. when there was money to be had. My father's pupils were tiny dots and he begged me to help him but it was not to be because grandchildren talked him out of his money. The grandchildren (medical power of attorney) had cleaned his room of all personal affects over a week before he died and he knew his hours were limited on this earth. The medical community cannot be sued for an overdose of pain medication because this topic was decided by the US Supreme Court years ago...and they say there is no euthanasia in the USA. Hogwash!
My father died in September and the nursing home automatically began to give him morphine. I was his guardian and stepped up and let them know that it was not okay unless he was in pain. He lived comfortably for a week without pain. They just wanted to hasten the death. My sisters and I were happy with his transition. He went very peacefully.
That happened to my sister too..the doctor made the decision and 2 nurses carried it out.
@@patriciagrisham7935 so sorry to hear that.
I would personally prefer that method rather than spend another month in a hospital.
horrid
Our bachelor wealthy uncle who was a part of our family, passed unprepared and sudden. Four years in court battling our rights to inheritance, us vs. state. His sister, my MIL, immediately started working on her own will, seeing the disaster we were going through. Thank goodness she did. We lost her last year. No trouble with the estate etc. My husband did his, and I am working on mine, for our kids.
I think you putting this type of information and your other videos that you’ve done out there for people to hear and listen, and play it over if we need to, to understand all the stuff is phenomenal thank you for doing this.
The title "Living Will" raises some confusion. It is better to adopt the increasingly used title of "Future Intention".
My mother had a Living Will and informed me of what she wanted. This was fortunate because when it was needed after a series of strokes we could not find it and it wasn’t registered anywhere. Christmas Eve she had a final stroke which took the last of my mother and left a shell. I prayed for a miracle for four months then had to make the decision to take her off food and water. She passed four days later. As I stood outside the Nursing home I felt a little breeze dance around me and go along it’s way. I think it was my mother telling me she was happy and free.
I live in Oregon. I will exercise my right to die if conscious, and have a Living will, no family, only dear ones who know my desires.
I’ve been in the hospital several times during my life and they’ve never asked me if I had a living will.
My mom passed away after a long illness and I decided I should have one. I signed the papers.
Last year I contracted coronavirus and I was hospitalized. I was so scared and extremely ill, but I needed to research the treatments they told me I ‘must’ authorize if I wanted to survive it. I quickly realized that I may die and probably would not survive the ill effects of the treatment, so I decided not to take it making the doctors seriously angry to my surprise.
After I refused treatment, they took me back to my room and they asked me if I had a living will.
This terrified me! I told them I didn’t want the living will and I put it in writing sending copies of my desire to vacate the will to a couple of friends.
Just something to think about… the end could come a lot sooner than you think.
Thank you for the video.
We are in our sixties now, but In our forties when we did our estate planning my husband signed a living will. I refused even though my attorney looked at me like I was crazy. Our daughter is a nurse and she will be making the final call for now. I have spoken to her and she knows exactly when I would want to be “unplugged”. Maybe in my 80’s I’ll sign one.
put me on your will baby!
I have 4 siblings our darling Mums health was declining and she decided no further treatment. We had a lot of conversations about this and as her epa financial lifestyle and medical I knew exactly what she wanted. But I was one of 5. I discussed with mum that she tell the others so when the time came, there would be no confusion and or arguments and that they would know I would be speaking for her. When that sad day came I spoke for her and then had to tell my siblings when they got to the hospital. Thankfully she had wonderful staff looking after her and she passed peacefully. Nearly 5 years on and I miss her every day ❤
Better make her Power of Attorney for Health Care if others are involved
I know it's been three years since this was published, but I want to say thank you, anyway. God can take care of the delivery. Outstanding analysis of the real life consequences of the document. I am very grateful.
Great advice as was the simple legal Will video you put out. They really helped me out as I’ve already told everyone what’s happening and now I can put it in a letter and have it witnessed and notarized. One less thing to deal with.
Excellent information to consider. I just changed my mind about signing a Living Will. I'll stick with the healthcare POA.
nice job on accenting the "be informed" aspect......it's something far too few people stop to do before making decisions
Decide how you want to be treated at your end of life. Do not be afraid of the decision and do not leave it up to an already distraught friend or family member. They will thank you for it.
I appreciate you sharing your time and talent. (TX) Thanks
I agree with you wholeheartedly. The last time I was in the hospital they peer pressure me so much to sign one I did not! And also wanted me to sign a “do not resuscitate” , order I did not. I’m only 70 years old. I live alone I am very active. Nobody assist me. I believe The only reason they wanted me to do that is because I have an aneurysm. They kept telling me you have lived a long life. Signed the papers!
I don't consider 70 a long life. It's a blessing to get to be
70, but I wouldn't say a long life. What the medical team
told you was bad advice at the least, and cruel at most.
If you keep your BP low, you can live with an aneurysm ; but you certainly would be on a "watch list".........
If you want the doc to pull the plug, a living will is the only way to make it happen. Plus it doesn’t force your family to have to make such a decision.
In dealing with my husbands recent passing, I am forever thankful for educating me on “ portability”.
I don't want my husband or daughter to feel the guilt associated with pulling the plug. I opt for the medical professionals to make that decision. I also don't want them lingering on for a hopeless case. If it comes to that, I want them to have closure. But this is a good video to understand the gravity of the decision.
The best way is to never agree to go on a vent. That way no one has to pull the plug.
I was/am the trustee of dad's Revocable Living Trust. It was set up with a knowledgeable
attorney. I and my brothers were as one. Any difficult decisions had to have a mutual agreement. Three votes, three yesses. The will was expressed there, plus separate documents that jived with the RLT.
With competent advice, minor issues were handled. I and my brothers were as one.
The RLT was a great help for us. This RLT was set up nicely. It was smooth for us.
Our thanks to Ms. Wade.
Trusts are to dictate distribution of assets. Doesn't have anything to do with medical decisions in a Designation of Health Surrogate or in a Living Will stating you do not want to be kept artificially alive.
This is what I Love about your videos ... You Educate, not brow beat information, on a normal persons level.
Thanks Again for All you do
EYL Chris from Chicago ❤
This video gave me another point of view from which to look at things. I am glad I watched. Thanks for such valuable information and insight. Nowadays, folks' organs are being removed without family members of the deceased patient knowing. When it comes to 2 doctors making such an end of life decision, I can see where a living will could contribute to a case of conflicting interest because there is more financial gain from a dead person than a living one.
My doctor’s office gave me the paperwork to sign on the very first visit....I found that a tad weird since it was my first visit.....but filled it out like a good little sheep. I have a lot of respect for what you do so I am really listening to this. Thank you! Maybe I should have taken the time to discuss with my loved ones first.....
Mickey, You can redo whatever paper work you did on your first visit. But, it would be wise for you to ask to review the papers you did at that time. It is not customary for a medical office to have you do any kind of living will, DNR, etc on a first visit. It is not a law that you even do one of these forms. You need to take charge and undo what has been done if you believe that is not what you would want done at the end of your life. If you did do a "Do Not Resuscitate" (DNR) you can also redo that directive, or not even do one at this time. Educate yourself and take charge so your family does not have to make these decisions during a time of stress. The "latest" form you do voids previous ones you have done. I am a retired social worker and have assisted many people in doing their forms, if they decide to do a form. Be smart!
Always discus it with love ones. Why wouldn't you?
A doctor who fought with me about every medical decision one day stormed out of the room and handed me a living will form. It didn't take long to imagine collapsing there, and she and her staff standing over me watching me die. I had said okay. I'll bring the signed form back at the next visit. So she checked off "has a living will" in my chart. I had a fit in visit shortly after that to tell her I did not intend to sign a living will, and watched her put that in my electronic record, right below my name, address and birth date. She claimed that the corporation she worked in had requested their doctors to give all their patients a chance to sign yes, or document that the patient does not have a living will, in big letters. She eventually excused me from being her patient.
Thank you for this video explaining the living will. I got a living will a few years ago for the purpose of making sure my children would get my assets but after listening to your video I went back to read mine and sure enough, I signed where doctors would have control if I can't make decisions and no nutrition or water! That is not what I want, is there a way I can change that?
durable power of attorney. with some one you trust implicitly, does not have to be spouse or kids. doctors don't know everything. they have been wrong.
the only problem with a durable power of attorney. at the moment of death, the power of attorney is no longer valid. learned that lesson when my mom passes.
@@sharonallen9802 In a Living Will, you designate Power of Attorney for Health Care. Their ONLY function is to make medical decisions *if you are unable to. Once you die, that power is no longer needed nor is it applicable in other areas. Completely different than a Power of Attorney.
@@sharonallen9802 Durable POA deals with financial issues only, not health/medical issues. The reason it ends at death is because that’s when the person designated as the executor of the estate in the Will takes over.
Agreed. If my partner had the original intent written in a living will, he would not have enjoyed an additional 5 yrs of life.
But a patient advocate that can make hard decisions at the time is where the burden lies.
A living will takes the guilt off your love ones. The most important form is to designate a good healthcare surrogate. I have been a nurse for over 40 years in florida.
Thank you for taking on this potentially controversial subject. Your video informs me as intended and gives me the opportunity to inform my family and loved ones on the subject and my wishes. I’m in the long procrastinated effort of estate planning and finding other videos of yours equally compelling.
Thank you for the info but I do have a living will, #1 I don’t want my Children burdened with the decision of when to pull the plug, and #2 I don’t want to stay on life support and eat up my Children’s inheritance. At 65 years of age, I’m so tired I could go to ‘rest’ at any time, I’m good! 😉
At 65 you should not be tired all the time. 65 is too young to through in the towel. You should be out there going places, seeing people and enjoying yourself. I'm 87 and tired, but I'm not ready to throw in the towel. 65 is still a "young chicken"!
When I made decisions for my mother as she died in 1999, I became convinced that a living will was not a good thing. I had her medical power of attourney. We had spoken about her final wishes and I ignored them. She said she would always want to be on a ventilator, but neither of us imagined what the end of her life would be. As I contemplated a DNR for her a friend who was a hospice nurse told me I was not prolonging her life; I was prolonging her death. I won't go into the medical details, which were grusome, but it was clear she was not going to recover. Thanks for confirming what I have believed for over 24 years.
Very thoughtful and meaningful presentation as are all of your daily videos.
Thanks DM 😎
@@americasestateplanninglawy1946 You needn't thank your wife Rebalais. Just a kiss on the lips and carnations are traditional.
I already have a living will and persons for health power of attorney. I read some comments from others who refuse to do so for reasons I disagree with. It's not about what I want for you, not about what doctors want for you, not about what nurses want for you, not about what family wants for you it's about what you want for you. Want it, get it. Want to refuse it, refuse it.
Unfortunately, I do not trust the medical profession on the same level as I did pre-pandemic. And I am a medical professional.
Agree do not have no trust
BIngo ! I have zero trust now and I am part of that establishment, well I was, until I got fired for refusing the jabs. Sheep......have replaced intelligent humanity !
Thank You, setting up papers with my mom now, sheds new life on the matter.
I am in indiana, and was once a cna. This is a topic of great importance. So glad you are covering it. Thank you
I'm very fortunate in that I have an orthopedic surgeon as a son and medical executor. He knows my personal wishes and we've talked about specifics in medical conditions. And he knows how to separate the mom/son Relationship to do what needs to be done.
power of attorney for health care, is crucial. Living will is for someone on their death bed.
Good comment MS! 👍
Informed & Appreciated
Not true. Living wills can come in to play for people who are in some kind of vegetative state, or unable to make decisions like in Alzheimer’s disease. The patient must be declared incompetent by 2 physicians before the living will can be implemented.
When properly executed, a living will and/or a durable POA can make the end of life go much more smoothly.
And the key is to make sure whoever you have designated to be your “voice” know exactly what you want done. You should be communicating and updating with your designated person at least yearly.
Very informative. Thank you so much! I noticed here lately when I just made an appointment for a mammogram, the scheduler asked me did I have a living will! When asked that question I usually just say yes just to move on with it. Otherwise you go through "their" explanation of why you need one, what is in one, etc.!
Very nicely presented devil’s advocate discussion on the topic. Got some really good ‘hmmmmm’ moments out of it, it’s like having a winged rosy cheeked Paul on your shoulder whispering in your ear lol.
Thanks as always Paul.
Lol 😊
I LOVE YOUR VIDEOS❤️❤️❤️
It's like God sent them right when I need them! I've only watched a few, but watched those over & over💛. Can hardly wait to see more. Thank you ,& God Bless You 🙏❤️✝️🇺🇸.....from Tuscaloosa Alabama ❤️
I am a nurse. Believe this man. You don't want to have a stranger making decisions about your end of life. The people who love you may need a day or so to discuss and to make informed decisions if you trust them. The medical professionals need to do their part in keeping you comfortable and saving your organs in case you need them or your family donates then (donation needs to be discussed while you are well!)
The harvest team is fairly aggressive towards the confused families of these ICU, brain dead patients. ; especially the young guys who wrecked their bikes. They are the best, available organ donors we ever get. It is a hard job to get families to agree if their DL did not mention organ donation. Very painful for these poor grieving people but they are trying to do , the best they can guess......It is the gift that keeps on giving. In the West, we harvest but it is questionable in the East, as organs are seen having molecular consciousness. That would explain the change in the likes and dislikes people experience after they get a heart transplant. They are different.....
Lots to consider...thank you for putting this info forth...also makes me consider how a Living Will might impact an at-home hospice situation...great video.
Thanks for the comments MS 👍
My dad didn’t have a living will. I was his medical and financial power of attorney. I knew what he wanted, followed it, and he died peacefully in his sleep. I’m grateful he didn’t have a living will.
Just now seeing this video. Thank you for making me sit here and really think about what I've signed. Insurance companies dictate much of what goes on in all hospitals, and I do feel that that kind of decision would be made too quickly by the doctors. I've heard about and read many, many stories where in just a few days someone recovered after having doctors proclaim they're too far gone.
And how about “MANY MANY” MORE stories that you HAVEN’T heard about when the doctors are correct………
Hi, I just wanted to say that I do understand and agree that you should be sure you understand what yor signing be informed of all the aspects of the Living will before signing.I have been asked by the hospital if I have one quite a few times and I kept putting it off now I'm glad I did after watching this video.
Thank you for the thought provoking info. I will tear mine up. I want my kids to take their time to decide for me, not some doctors l don't know.
Your family will keep you hanging on for a long time, even though they know that there's not going to be any recovery. What a terrible way to end your life.
Do both, and make family and doctor follow through.
Absolutely fabulous articulation! You made it real, you made it clear, and it came from the heart. Thank you so much!
Lots of people in deep comas have reported they were often aware and could hear, but they couldn't move or speak and yet had no brain activity or very low activity if it is measured at all. It is the cruelest thing to do if you let them die from thirst and hunger and they were aware of it. My son is a doctor and knows my wishes. If after a certain time I'm not going to make it, first monitor my brain and make sure I'm not here and turn off lifesaving machines, but in no case is he to starve me to death.
Great info ! I will reconsider my living will. Thanks
I gotta hand it to you sir. This video discussion was like "walking a tightrope". And think you negotiated through it pretty well.
Thank you for sharing and clarifying. What an eye opener. You are awesome for caring.
IF I AM DYING AND KNOW IT THERE IS NO HOSPITAL HOLDING ME I AM LEAVING AND WILL GO WHERE I PLEASE AND DIE IN PEACE.
Same
@@traveler320ak7 ex’s. B. A
What if you have a stroke and lose your mobility?
Thank you for this VERY INFORMATIVE VIDEO. My doctor highly recommended I sign a Living Will. After viewing this video, it spells out the ramifications of signing this document, which was never explained to me. If ever I am in a position of being very ill with no hope of recovery, I trust my family to make that decision.
Is there a difference between a living will and an Advanced Directive?
All legal documents concerning end of life issues should be reviewed at least annually. Life is fluid, and many changes usually occur after ducoments are prepared but before they are implemented. Documents don’t change when there is a need for change though, unless we change them.
I can barely decide if I should mow the lawn today or not, let alone decide if I should have a living will.
Truth !
hey paul, correct me if I'm wrong as I often am, but doesn't the HCPOA give veto power to trump the living will? I explain that: while you don't want family members to have to pull the plug (putting a monster under their beds), you want to give them the power to trump the decisions you've made.
My nephew was on life support and the Dr' said there was no hope of him recovering and we were going to take him off life support and let him go. (There was no brain activity at all) So we were waiting for the last family member to arrive to say goodbye. Then, all the sudden, the Dr's wanted a consultation with us. It turned out that they had given him too much of a medicine and that it paralyzed his brain or something like that. When they discovered the error, they gave him something to counteract it and he woke up. He lived a few years after that and was bright and attentive, still able to enjoy life. My clinic is occasionally giving me the forms to fill out and I just won't do it. I told my kids to give me a couple weeks ....I may change that to 4 weeks. I just don't trust the idea of signing that and letting Dr's decide if I live or die. They do make mistakes as in the case of my nephew. They are only human and yeah, I would worry about someone with better insurance needing my bed or as one person suggested the testing they do on people, that doesn't sound good. Or someone needing a heart or liver or? Too much crime and yes, it is in our medical world also unfortunately.
That's a good lesson. Its how I feel.
True.. especially if there is a push to harvest your organ. And in some cases, brain dead diagnosis did turn out fase.
I don't know why this came up in my feed, but I have always felt this way. I have never signed a living will because I want an actual human who cares about me to make an informed decision regarding that issue.
So put that in a a fitting.
I think a better title for this video would have been, “make sure you understand the ramifications of your decision prior to signing.” I and only I have the right to decide what’s going to happen to me in those circumstances; not my spouse, or my children. That’s the whole point of a living will !!
I feel like this advice is about filling out pro-forma living wills. Our office has sort of 'standard' living wills, but it's important to talk through the intentions of the testator when filling it out. I've had to draft one where the client was insistent that she should NOT be terminated under any circumstances, because the doctors are always wrong and she had to be given every chance to recover. I had to warn her that this wasn't legally enforceable if it got to the courts (i.e. the hospital can't be forced to keep someone on life support indefinitely), but that we can make it clear to the family every effort should be made to keep her alive.
Our forms have (1) the appointment of the deciding party, (2) the directives - this is what you WILL do, no matter what my family says, and then (3) the guidelines for the deciding party to use to make decisions.
I want the doctors to keep me alive by any means necessary. I want to keep my family members the heck away from me. I want them to have absolutely NO right to make ANY decision in regards to me. Can a living will make sure that happens?
Excellent video. I am a chaplain in the hospital and see this all the time. Living Will: The document speaks for you. HCPOA your agents speak for you if you cant. I have not seen, however, where the doctors will read the living will and say we are taking grandma off life support because her living will says so. Family will be consulted. No MD wants to be that rigid. Just my experience.
The ONLY reason to have a living will is to force THE conversation with friends and/or family. This is no reason to have that conversation with your lawyer--unless (s)he is a close member of your family.