I became the executor of my Great Aunt's estate. OMG. What a pain. I still have family that won't talk to me several years later. They simply did not understand that it wasn't MY money. Some of it went to relatives BY LAW that hadn't visited her in decades. Closer family to her threw a fit and blamed me for following the LAW. Unreal how they wanted me to commit fraud with hundreds of thousands of dollars. They'd say things like NO ONE will find out cause they didn't come around to visit. I was like SORRY not taking that chance and going to prison for ya!
While studying for a Bachelor in Legal Studies, I read a court case where two sister's inherited nearly a million dollars... the estate was divided between the two sister's with one receiving one penny more then the other... they spent the entire inheritance fighting over that one penny - and in the end neither got anything!!! STUPID!!!
I was in the same boat ... 19 years ago ... still hard thinking about it ... even though I tried to somewhat smooth things out with my own portion, later, ... bitter folk will be bitter folk
Great advice - thank you! I am not a wealthy person, but am comfortable. As a single person who never had children (I never hear from neices/nephew - even though I was great to them when they were quite young) it is my intention to blow through every penny I have. My pensions cover monthly general expenses - I will not be made homeless. I am planning some wonderful trips - and always have a blast at the local race track. Cheers to all!
you were "good to the kids when they were quite young".. if you know ANYTHING about kids in general you would understand that kids do not have the brain capacity to "remember" how great you were to them when they were young. Do you remember who was in your life when you were little? IF you had stayed in their lives and stayed great to them or had a good relationship with the parents who knowingly talked about you to the kids as they grew up ..... maybe, but the way you stated it does not seem like that is the case. Sounds like you expected too much from little children.
@@0111vramj jaimie, you make such grand assumptions here, and I don't have the patience or energy to completely respond to your thoughts. I will make just two points, however. I was blessed with some lovely and wonderful adults (some blood related, others not) in my life as a child. (I come from a physically/mentally abusive home life). I never forgot a single one of those "angels" who came to my rescue - a few of them are still "here" and we happily meet up when we can. Secondly, I have never done anything for anyone with an expectation for "reward." It just felt a bit sad when my nieces/nephew could not pick up a phone (for the last many years) to wish their Old Uncle a happy birthday. I hope this clears things up. Cheers and best wishes!
As a paralegal in practice specializing in Estate Law, another suggestion for someone preparing a Will is to not include jewelry/furnishings/etc. as a specific bequest. First off, after your death,the executor must have the jewelry/item appraised. The evaluation of those items subjects the will to further probate, prolonging the settlement of the estate. Also, we have seen where the particular piece left to a beneficiary has long since been lost or gone missing. Now the beneficiary wants another replacement item, but Sis already took it from the house, etc! We suggest that a separate signed and notarized letter for the executor be placed in an envelope with the Will outlining who gets what jewelry or furniture/painting etc. Better yet, just gift it to your loved one while you’re still alive and you can take pleasure in seeing them enjoy it.
If the furniture/jewelry isn't part of the will then the furniture/jewelry would go through intestacy, correct? That would take-up even more time than having it go through will probate. I'm not sure this advice is correct. Edit: After doing a little more research, I have to say that this comment is patently incorrect. Specific bequests are not appraised. And, even if they were, failing to include jewelry and furnishings in a will would force those items through the intestacy process - creating a lot of work and uncertainty for the executor. I don't mean to be rude, but I don't want folks to make this kind of mistake when making their will.
Most people will not do this. My 87 year old father won't. He says it is to be left to his 4 daughters. This is going to cause so many fights for years to come.
@@angeliquenova7440 Yes, and there is no better way to show, the affection you have for a person than to give that person something that you really want them to have, before the real war starts,
If I have anything left after working my butt off my entire life I will leave some to my kids but the rest of it will go to a guy rescuing/feeding street dogs in Thailand. He's an Irish guy with a heart of gold. His name is Niall Harbison and he's an amazing person. He's found purpose and meaning in his life and I'll support his endeavors.
1. Funeral Arrangements 2. Organ donation 3. Designation of your IRA account 4. Life Support decision 5. Trust Assets 6. Assets in an LLC 7. Reasons why you left that bequest 8. Life Insurance & Annuities all have beneficiaries when bought
My daughter, Laura, died in 2019. She was 32 years old and had battled various medical woes since age four. One thing that kept her going was her desire to donate her body after death so researchers can learn how to help people like her. So we donated her organs and then sent her body to a research lab. Laura made her wishes very clear and repeated often. Make sure your family knows! 💕🐝🇺🇸
@@geoffpriestley7001 Heaven knows your organs aren’t needed there. I believe you leave your corporal body behind. But If you think it gets resurrected and if there’s an all powerful being, then they certainly can reconstruct you! Personally , I wouldn’t want to drag this old body around forever! I’ll be happy to take on a new form of being or energy with a new purpose.
I don't want to burst anyone bubble. I also are an organ donor. But I also worked in hospital. Not every organ in your body is usable. In another body. It depend on if you had cancer, or chemo or like me a medications that change your blood. I have watched donations be denied for various reasons. But the other side is, donated organs that can't be used for transplant can be used for research! We need research to help end some of these diseases! Any thing we do when we donate helps! Organs are needed for everything! From eyes,ears,nose mouth or internal organs! I have no latge colon and only 17cc of small bowel. My next step will be transplant. I know they can't use most of my organs because I also had breast cancer. But I also know my organs will help others! Grace was a Saint!
I'm so very sorry for your loss. My daughter Kim was struck by a nasty kidney disease at age 13. After a medical horror show lasting almost six years, involving dialysis, endless operations and nasty medications she received a kidney from a deceased donor. This transplant in Feb2020 changed her life and *gave* her a new life! She's now at uni and through this amazing gift and heroic people like your Laura can live the life previously denied to her. I thank you and Laura from the bottom of my heart, you're amazing.
My Mom took care of everything before she passed away. She signed over her property to me. She signed over her home to my brother. We divided any money that was left after she passed. She had her burial all arranged. Her Will was all done. She told me many many times what she wanted done. Some of it was not in writing. It was easy. Hope to make it easy on my sons.
For anyone who wants to know: DNR, burial arrangements, all of your end of life decisions, can be a living will (like he said) OR what's also known as an Advanced Directive. You can literally download your state's Advanced Directive form from most state websites, fill it out, and have it notarized. Very easy, and will save everyone a lot of headaches.
Good to know. I want to be able to donate my organs but ONLY to people who have chosen NEVER to put Pfizer poison in their bodies. Thanks for pointing out the right form.
@@integr8er66 You don't have to distribute anything. When it's notarized you can request that a copy be kept on file with the secretary of state (at least in CA, other states might be different) and the only other person that needs to have a copy is your next of kin or the person you designate as such in the advanced directive (sometimes referred to executor of the estate, but that term might be specific to living wills).
@@Amarianee What you just said IS distributing it. The point is it must be known that you have one, and their needs to be more than one that are the same in order to be sure it hasn't been altered. My state, and I think most don't keep your records for you, you need to do it yourself, but if you live in a nanny state, let your nanny do it for you, that is still distributing it, but still if no one knows it exists it will be a problem, and the state isn't going to even know you are in the hospital, so they aren't going to rush in with it, only your next of kin will. With a living will it is all about having it quickly when you are in the hospital, getting a copy from the state in 4-6 weeks won't help
I appreciate people like yourself who selflessly offer their expertise as a service to others because you genuinely want to help them avoid problems they probably don't even know exist. If the world was filled more with humans of your caliber and less with the money-grubbers and power mongers I might want to live to be 100 years old. You just pushed me up to 85. Thank you, sir.
My Grandmother had a ledger that she kept of all my Grandfathers jewelry and personal effects after he passed. As she gave items away to family she had them sign the ledger, along with herself and a witness and a description of the item(s) and the date given. After my grandmother passed, one of her sons tried to go after all the family members to get all the items back. I had received my grandfathers wedding band and a few other keep sakes, in the end he got nothing but to this date I still shake my head when I think of it, that was was 26 years ago.
I was the executor of my best friend's estate. The woman he was seeing (whom he left nearly everything he had) did not want to pay for his cremation, internment, his services, or his obituary. It was a very sad sad state of affairs. Eventually she could not refute paying for his cremation and internment - but she did not want him to have a service or an obituary. He lives on in the hearts of his friends - but there is no documented trail of his life and there was no coming together to celebrate the amazing man he was and the life he led. You would think an executor could go ahead with these things but be it know that unless you document what you want to happen in your will or trust, the main heir will have more power than the executor regarding how money is spent. An executor can not spend money on anything not specifically documented. And, in our case when my friend said he "wished" for something to happen, this woman's attorney said that a "wish" is not the same thing as a declaration and thus wishes do not need to be honored. She won this point.
What stopped his friends having a wake, writing an obituary etc for themselves. It is only on the memories of those who personalky knew us, for goid or bad, thst will remember us. After they die we are just a name on a gravestone if we have one. I've told my son a cardboard box and a hole on the ground is fine by me. I will be dead anyway.
Was there a will? The first provision typically states that asset distribution occurs after debts and burial/disposition expenses are paid. I would presume this is codified in state law. Thus, the executor (named in a will or appointed) would have authority to pay funeral expenses.
Helena, he was cremated - which I paid for - the trust was not funded ( his error ) - and she did not want to pay for the cremation or other debts which resulted in a 2+ year legal battle
Kamera Shy. The trust was not funded and the only assets included were property which was going to her - she hired more than one lawyer to block sale of the properties so we were at an impasse settled only after a 2+ year court battle. Some people do not care what the law says, they just want it how they want it and if they have the resources they will persist.
@@roseelley4470 wow, Rose, she sounds like someone that really cared about him. That’s just greed at its worst. At least he had you, and it sounds like that was a big plus for him. Thanks for what you did for him. It really means something to me that you went out of your way to be there for him when he really needed it!
My dear husband died very suddenly (3 weeks to the day following Achilles’ tendon repair surgery) in 14 minutes 7 years ago. 4 days before he died he saw a bill board about cremation. He said “honey, when I go, take me there. Do not spend 25,000 on a funeral”. So, when he died it was a very simple process, and very cheap too. We also had wills, which was a blessing, as this marriage was a second one for both of us. He had told me of personal monies he wanted me to give his adult children, which I have honoured. Death of a spouse can really take its toll on you, and it will take quite some time to get your feet under you. Be patient and don’t forget to breathe! 😉
@@gailremp8389 It’s like a wedding. A wedding can cost let’s say $50 at the courthouse with no dinner, flowers etc or can cost anywhere up to a million dollars depending what your means of affluence are. Same with funerals. Perhaps these people only know more extravagant means of memorials and that’s where their standards come from. Or it was a typo and the 2 was meant to be a dollar sign. Regardless, her point is one that should be heeded as people make their end of life decisions. Or rather SHOULD make their end of life decisions. Coz if you don’t make those decisions before hand, someone else will make them for you after.
@@emandem3088 Exactly I think she missed the point! The person making the statement was actually giving a suggestion of what not to do! When my mom was in her twilight years she was living in a three-story brownstone, I told her to give the house to one of her kids as she had 7, as two had preceded her in death & because she didn’t have a Will & my dad had already passed on, well she didn’t follow my advice & so what happen when she passed, one of my sisters decided that she was going to live in the house, but not take ownership, so I immediately saw what was going to happen after that, so I called them together, two of my siblings were in another state, so they couldn’t be at the meeting & I told them afterwards what we discussed & I simply stated to them that without a Will neither of us own this property & I said to them if anyone of you want to own this property, then it’s a simple matter of filling a claim in probate court to have the deed put in your name & that if you decided to do that I would waive any rights as an heir to the property, because I want nothing to do with it! I explain to them that real estate is a liability & it’s only an asset depending on its condition & the neighborhood it’s located in & this property is located in an area considered to be a particularly depressed neighborhood & I didn’t want anything to do with that monstrosity, because houses in my opinion are money pits & I have no interest in putting my money into something that I cannot get a reasonable return on it! So I told them I wanted nothing to do with this property & that you’re on your own, serenata, I’m out of here!
I was the executor of my brother's estate. He had life insurance from several sources, his business banking, his union chapter, his personal checking, etc. Problem was that he named the recipient when he got the policies and had the habit of naming his girlfriend at the time. And he never changed the beneficiaries. As a result, I had to track down an ex-wife and three ex girlfriends from the past 25 years to tell them they had money coming. It was hilarious. Each one said "I knew I was the one!" True story.
My husband's first wife (whose name he never could remember) gets part of his Social Security as a survivor. She probably wondered where the heck that first check came from. I think they were married for a year when he was 20 (50 years ago).
Your videos are brilliant. I work so hard to get my friends to get their paperwork in order and get their trusts in order. They just avoid it. It’s like they don’t want to think about it! I am 63 years old and we are not getting any younger. Thank you so much for your brilliant content. You also speak quickly but clearly and you are a very interesting speaker. That helps to absorb the information. Much more! Thank you!
@@susieq8044 thank you for your reply. It makes me very sad watching different people in my family display their character. I’ve seen the grand children and nieces and nephews act, greedy, and have expectations of money from me. Unfortunately, they are going to have a big surprise, when something eventually does happen to me. I don’t believe in rewarding people who have no moral compass!
I realize listening to this that we were lucky to have a really good estate lawyer when my in laws died. She was also the trustee for my disabled brother in law. Before her we had a law professor do their wills and he really messed up, by not paying enough attention. A big name does not guarantee a good result. But now she has retired, it’s time to redo our wills and I’m hesitating about who to hire. My sons unfortunately do not get along and my biggest goal is to be sure their limited relationship is not further damaged. Life is complicated but it seems that death is even more complicated.
@ConvincedQuaker Thats a very very reasonable conclusion. I never ever thought about it. as for life insurance policies I don't get how someone had 3 ex-s get them. Wouldnt he have to remove one name and put another. Or did he just keep taking out other policies. If he did then he/she clearly knew what they were doing and even though they were exes actually deserved it.
This, is not something that I, A). Want to dwell on, … B). Need to do on a yearly basis, … And I have no living relatives within as close as 75 miles close to me, and She, & her husband, are my wife’s sister, & spouse, … one daughter is an RN, in San Diego, Ca, and the younger one lives in Lake County, In. And runs a Dr.s office, … other than some of my deceased wife’s family, in Ky, and her 2nd cousin, that none of us ever met, (Hank Williams junior, et al, ), … I have no other family readily handy, … my Mom’s family, we’re pretty much from the North Carolina, Washington DC area, and are scattered across the globe, … as GrandDad Rash, who had made his home in DC, being one of the WW1 vets that took part in the Bonus Army occupation on the WhiteHouse Lawn, … passed on about 4 years before I was born, in Hammond, In., after being conceived in SanDiego, Ca., … being sickly from being subjected to gasses obtained in the trenches, … Over There!!!
A RRIF in Canada beneficiaries can only be spouse or dependent children under 18. There are also small unknown life insurance policies. Also Canada Savings Bonds do not have beneficery.
You must be cautious on jointly and singularly. Singularly only means small decisions. Jointly means both people have to meet at the bank and that may not be appropriate. Name only one person.
@Diane Lawrence I feel the same way as you do. Can't say I want my only child to get one thing . Far to self centered never tried to help me in anyway after making sure she had everything possible growing up. Will not even pick up tbe phone to call me. Have two grandchildren that are grown now and I don't even know them . Just Sad
The medical and burial instructions in a separate document makes total sense: For me, I realize my heirs may not know what to do, So I leave instructions how to go about it, and how to go about using my will. Yes, special sentiments could be addressed personally in a card, what a wonderful gift to those who receive it. A a gift that will last a lifetime. Amen.
1.) Funeral wishes (being cremated) 2.) Organ donation 3.) Who gets retirement account 4.) Life support machine decision (Take ne off the machine) 5.) Stock (Wallstreet, not chicken or beef) 6.) Assets in an LLC Donate the LLC instead..breaK APART AND RECREATE IF NEEDED 7.) Reasons why you are giving something...the laundry list of feelings 8.) Life insurance and annuities I saved you 11:30 - time to read this of your life. Your welcome.
Great info, being born in the fifties this all sounds very familiar. After the crash of 07-08 my wife and I decided to sell our farm in Wisconsin and move to FL to help her parents. My father-in-law was hit from behind at a very high rate of speed by a guy texting about 9 months after we got there. We spent the next 8 years helping him and my mother-in-law out, and had to do just what you were saying about the will and other orders like DNR. I learned that if you aren't very involved in you loved ones care they can be mistreated by our medical establishment, the caretakers were hit and miss and the really good ones were angels. It was like a blur to me now looking back but I journaled a lot of it and am grateful the Lord gave us so much time with a very brave man. Blessings
There's no better experience than taking care of the people that once took care of us no matter what went down during our lifetimes. That includes your wedding day and the birth of your children. It fills you with joy and you know you are grown up when you take care of your dying parents.
God bless his soul. May he rest in peace. May perpetual light shine upon him. May his soul and the souls of the faithful departed through the Mercy of God rest in peace, Amen.
Amazing isn't it? How wonderful those times are when you're caring for someone who cared for you it really makes you grow. I feel bad for the people who avoid taking care of their frail and elderly relatives they don't know what they missed
Re: Organ donation. Make sure you know about the agency who runs the organ donation program in your jurisdiction. Some are very much about the profit, and will SELL your body parts to labs, and nothing goes to someone who actually needs it. In my locality - there was a huge scandal about this several years back.
I remember a donated body's bones were sold, unbeknownst to the family, and caused deceased's diseases to be passed on to recipients. The fam was clear their Dad wanted his remains donated to *Science*-- not for use by other patients. Can't remember how many were affected.
Coming from a family with many first responders, we talked rather openly to one another about our wishes. Many get a formal medical wishes document to take that kind of decision off their hands, I always saw it as my last gift. I am also a registered donor and have a DNR card. All reasons coming from those people who did serve as a first responder in some way. The tragic and unexpected can happen, having medical wishes ready helps. Again we talked openly about our wishes so it never really crossed my mind that as the last man standing I don’t have the prepared paperwork that would step in and prevent loved ones from feeling like they made a mistake. I’m open with those close to me but I now know I need to add that to my wishes paperwork. Even those who love you can make a mistake, they’re devastated. I’m certainly not going to risk doing that to those I love. Thanks for the advice. 💯
This is WHY you need a Will. Nobody need wonder if they're getting it right. Courts will probate it (and charge you accordingly) if it's not in writing and regustered/notarized exactly what you own, how much $$ and WHERE all of it is! Nice to feel you can trust those around you, but nail it down so your wishes are followed.
1. Your Funeral Arrangements 2. Organ Donation 3. IRA Designation 4. Life Support Machine Decisions 5. Trust determines where Trust Assets go 6. LLC Assets 7. Reasons why you left a bequest 8. LIfe Insurance and Annuities
One thing that he didn’t mention is that when you go to the ER or the funeral home, they want someone to sign. This signature in the ER case, is not for care, as if it’s an emergency the hospital HAS to treat the person. Your signature indicates who is responsible for the bill, and if the person dies, whomever signed is who’ll be getting the bill. Same at the funeral home. Once they draw everything up, they’ll want whomever to sign off on it. Conversely whomever signs off on it is who’s responsible for the bill, so be careful!
This is so funny. When I worked in the ER I took care of a very good 80+yo retired music teacher. She was wonderful and sharp as a tack. She insisted on signing a DO NOT RESUSCITATE order. I asked her if she was sure,yes she said. Well on the elevator ride up to the ICU,she coded. I didn't think of her last wish,I immediately started CPR,shocked her and turned her over to the ICU staff. She lived,the next day I went to visit her,she took my hands into hers and thanked me repeatedly for not honoring her DNR request. Lol What a great lady!
My mother in law was in her 70s and signed one of those in the hospital and her level of care declined noticeably. It’s as if they put her out on an ice burg to float away. Maybe it was just that hospital but why take the chance?
@@winebox @ it’s just like signing an organ donor card, as soon as they see it in the ER they won’t try to save you, they will only keep you ALIVE to harvest your organs. Many doctors won’t sign them, I saw that a few years ago on an special they did on organ donors.
When you are the last one left, make sure all beneficiary forms are updated. ALSO make sure your bank accounts are POD, Payable On Death. Other financial accounts can be setup TOD, Transfer On Death. For real estate deeds, make sure the wording says WITH RIGHT OF SURVIVORSHIP when you add someone. DO IT NOW!
Do you have any idea how to add someone to the deed for your mortgage? I still have mortgage payments but in Florida they give you the "Warranty Deed" in your closing paperwork. I want to add my brother to it and be sure it gets recorded properly. Thank you.
@@gypsygirl9 You need to see an attorney, he should be added with "right of survivorship". because he is your brother and not your son there may be tax implications. Ask the attorney, the county tax clerk and or your accountant. It would be a quit claim deed they would submit.
There are some States that do not recognize holographic wills. Other states require you to register and file your Will/Trust with the County Probate Court as soon as you have it written. Others REQUIRE you to hire a Lawyer even if you have full understanding (and a Nolo Press book!) of how it all works. It would be so much more fun if we had uniformity in ALL States of how it all must be done.
It was less than 2 years ago that my wife as trustee had to familiarize herself with her Mom's Living Trust. She needed my help but it was my first time and Wow! I was impressed. So I do appreciate what you are doing here.
Good advice. Being of sound mind and body I've spent the lot. Have a laugh on the bank after you've gone. Eddie Stobart a well known successful haulage company director in UK left a debt of £100,000. The bank were happy to lend to such a famous rich guy. Mistaken belief in appearances, rich company, not so rich guy.
You are so right bad things come out of a sealed locked closet An here's where the fist fighting begins No one comes when you ask for help nobody calls either But just as soon as they here they passed away Oh there on your door step telling you what belongs to them or I was promised this When my mother passed away I'm ready cause the Sylvester Claws are coming out
@@sharoncrawford3042 and you won't be there to see them squabbling over it, along with all the other relatives you didn't know you had and the ones you haven't seen for 30 years.
I lost my husband 4 years ago. I just retired from teaching this year. I had not redone my beneficiaries for my retirement account, life insurance, annuity, etc. since my husband's passing. Fortunately, that was part of the process for submitting my retirement paperwork. I had to take him off as beneficiary. So, remember if there are life changes, this needs to be completed. Thanks for the additional tips!
Sorry for your loss & you are correct! The same goes for any life change...I was divorced & we shared custody so I wasn’t really worried about changing things until both kids were no longer minors. Then he & I both had to go back over things several times.
Some provision for simultaneous death should be included. If you are both killed in a roadway smash or a train or plane crash, it will smooth things out.
@@Bobrogers99 Also laws, both statutes passed by the legislature and court rulings, change. This is a reason why a will should be at least vetted if not prepared by an estate lawyer. If you have property in other states a separate addendum for each state (or foreign country) should be attached to the primary will.
I agree with you 100%. And that's how I do mine. Since I use trust, trust is the only one who carries who gets who? Burial wishes, it's written on the separate page of paper, with details on it, and it is part of the trust, and it is copy of it is submitted to all the trustes, and beneficiaries. So they all know upon upon my depath since they have a copy of it and they know what to do immediately upon my death.
I am scheduled to meet an attorney next week about setting up a final will. Watching this video I know now what to narrow it down to and not waste time. Thanks so much for the wonderful information!
Thank you so much for being on RUclips and educating. there's so much that I never knew that I need to know. You really inspired me to study to educate myself and my children.
Thank you so much for your help. I am a 70 year old widow, just planning my will. Opened 1 IRA for @ of my 3 children, & 7 small accounts for @ of my grandchildren. Not much for any of them, but this way they know I care. This information is so helpful.
@Karl with a K Karl, it would if just one is left out. Really, let’s say a person has 5 grandchildren and gives 4 of them a cookie. If that 5th grandchild is left out, it hurts. Just like this thoughtful woman who wants each grandchild and each child to have something upon her demise.
Good info! When I wrote my will, I was told to not put in ANYTHING that would need to be implemented BEFORE the will was read. So, I have a "Living Will", my medical POA in case I'm not able to make my own medical decision, my DNR request, my donor request, my life insurance paperwork, my funeral/cremation requests, and so on. My sister and brother each have their own parts of it, sister the will, brother the POA. I was able to do this with a pre-packaged free will preparation package, but I got a lot of advice from others with experience as I did it. I may at some point go to a lawyer to get it made all pretty, but my estate, as such, is pretty much nothing and my only concern it keeping it out of probate.
Might be worthwhile to ask County Probate Court CLERK, if your detailed attention to all these details is enough. They might just say to file a copy in the Court (small fee, maybe?) and save hiring a lawyer for a consultation. OTOH, if you can find a reliable lawyer, hire him! But it sounds like you've got your ducks in a row!👍
When Mom died, ten years after Dad, we five children had our own private auction of the private property left behind. In other words, if you really did want that grandfather clock you had to outbid the others. We didn't have to pony up the cash, only deducted it from the final 1/5 share of the estate. Was actually a lot of fun teasing each other about how junky that old Lexus really is. Two of us bought out the other three on the homestead real estate too. That took more than just a day though. Good memories yet, and it's been 21 years.
Well, I feel I was short changed in my late mothers will. When my parents bought their home, I lent them 25% of the then value of the property (but no written agreement), it was known to the family I owned 25% of the property. When my mum passed away, my sister was executor. Basically after the property was sold all expenses paid for funeral etc. All 8 grand children were to receive 'x' amount each, the balance to be shared equally between remaining children. There were only two remaining children alive - myself & my sister who was the executor. The money was split in half even though my sister knew I owned 25% of the property. **I feel when the property was sold, the fair thing to do should have been 25% of the property sale given to myself before any expenses were paid, then 'x' amount each to the 8 grandchildren, then the balance split equally between myself & sister. 😊. But, I didn't point that out.
Friend of a friend did the same. They were wealthy with many antiques. An auction was held. If anyone wanted anything they had to bid on it. No fights with that process.
My kid sister had a thing about how she thought she owned everything mom left simply because she was nine years younger, the accidental child. Anyway, the days before and after mom died she rummaged around the house and took everything she wanted, leaving the rest for a junky estate sale, with no thought to the desires of the other three children. She was packing up stuff, including a nice old 50s antique glass and brass candy dish, and I took it away from her, because I had bought that for mom at the Mott's Five and Dime store on the corner. It was a gift for mom's birthday one year when I was about ten, using my carefully hoarded coins from doing odd jobs around the neighborhood. Damn greedy sis - she also tried to get the expensive Singer stainless steel pinking shears I had bought for Mom. They cost over four bucks, and in 1962 that was huge - the profit from a whole day's work outdoors in neighbor's yards. Many years later she was made executor of dads will, and screwed me badly, but that's another story.
@@ammoalamo6485 I’m sorry. That sucks. I was so proud of my two sons when my ex died. They were both so kind to each other and really fair. It was heartwarming.
Be clear on your will. And don't be cruel. Be fair. But me, I will be giving money to my kids while they are alive to watch their lives be changed, hopefully for the better, and not watch them struggle. I hate how people wait til they are gone to do this. If you've got it, and have more than enough to live on and are frugal, I would let mine have it and help them.
My parents created a living trust and put the real estate holdings in the trust. Later they sold the property but didn’t update the trust. Dad just assumed everything was automatic. When he passed his assets were in the form of mutual funds with beneficiaries and funds were equally distributed to the heirs, everything worked out with some extra paperwork involved. Lesson: keep the living trust up to date.
These are good tips. I had to make the organ donation request for my husband when he was on life support. He was a very giving man and 2 people can see today because of that.
I felt a certain amount of self-satisfaction that all of these either didn't apply to me or I was already aware of them. But I was an executor to my dad's estate 15 years ago, so I had a leg up. (He was smart or fortunate enough not to have made any serious errors or omissions, so it wasn't too bad).
This is a good checklist for the questions lawyers need to ask when making a will for a client. I ran into some of these when I was practicing law, and asked the client about IRAs, life insurance and trusts. And quite a few people wanted to put their funeral arrangements in the will. Another thing that people need to know is: don't put your will in a safe deposit box at the bank, unless someone else has access to the box! And if you are changing your will, let the people who are concerned know about it. Since this is Texas, I would suggest a family BBQ and start the fire with the old will, and then tell your executor where you put your new will.
The topic of giving particular items is very informative for me. My grandfather passed away, my father was the named executor, and the will designated specific items for us. Unfortunately, his 3rd wife had already started giving those items away to her boyfriend-on-the-side (she was much younger than my grandfather) without our knowledge, so most such items are lost to us forever. I wondered about the legality of it, but see now that since it occurred during the brief time he was in nursing care, the will was too late. He could have easily given those items to us when he visited him last, and then he could have enjoyed the personal experience of gifting them. For instance, he has souvenirs from WWII that are now in the possession of some stranger, but he could have handed it to kids/grandkids and had personal enjoyment and interaction. Likewise, he had stated he would give a certain amount of $ to each great-grandchild for college, but it wasn't in the will. He could have given a lesser amount while alive and seen some results and thank-yous. My in-laws were very successful, owning 6 rental houses and valuable stock/bonds/etc. They met with a financial planner and established a trust. They also decided to gift a uniform amount each year to the kids while they were alive, observing rules about tax limits on gifts, etc. They did not specify disbursement of specific items - such as the jewelry collection, etc - but the family worked it out amicably and then sold the rest. Of course - it didn't go perfectly, but it never does and people need to behave maturely. Even with the trust and a detailed will, it took 2 years to dissolve everything and disburse it. NOTE - In our case, when the holdings were divided up from the trust, certain people did get certain houses and certain IRAs. But I believe all of that was in the trust instructions as well as instructions to the executors (the oldest two siblings). For the most part, people knew well ahead of time what they were getting, and that avoids many issues. Just remember - You are supposed to value the memories, not covet their belongings. And if you failed to get something, technically the deceased failed to handle it and there is not much you can or should do after the fact.
i agree on the should with the one exception that this video brought to lite. When someone was listed as the beneficary decades ago and a more update will had it listed otherwise. Clearly the will should be supreme as a) most believe that that is what is used (most aren't lawyers) and b) its more update. I can totally tottally tottaly see people list x-spouses or girl friends when they open ira's and not even realize the impact. thats very dishartening.
If you have a lot of assets and you care about what happens to them after you die, work with an estate attorney. We did that and I review our will annually.
Never ever leave property to a charity! They need money and will sell cheaply to get it. Leave proceeds of sale instead so that the executor can maximise your gift.
How in the world did you know I'm making out my will? I sat down with him, the lawyer, just long enough to find out what I needed in paperwork to get to him and he has everything now but we haven't gone any farther yet so you have arrived right on time Dear Sir, I'm so thankful for your advice it will help me out so much God bless.
It's called a Health Directive in many states instead of Living Will - we carry a copy with us when we go in for surgery, etc. hospitals will make copies and keep in your account
Notary in Québec, Canada here. I tell people funeral arrangements are not a necessity in a will (because the will is usually opened weeks after the funeral), but can offer a good opportunity for a a conversation with family and help avoid or settle disputes. We have several jurisprudence where the court has relied on the dispositions in the will concerning funeral arrangements to guide its decisions and it usually favours what the deceased wanted.
Never give a living will to a hospital or doctor for their records. They always asked and I always refused. When they called me to say that my mother in law was totally unresponsive so I brought them the will, then I walked into the hospital room and said "Mom what happened? You were supposed to come home today!" She yelled out "I know!" I can't tell you the fight I had to go through to get her treatment instead of hospice. She lived a very productive life for several years by the way.
Oh thank heavens. They only need the portion that applies to what I call the “what if.” My expression of informed consent. They get it if I go under the knife, and G forbid.
@@TatianaGlare-jy4iv the wife has a job as a FT mother to THEIR children and a FT home manager. She and her husband work as a team. And I believe they both get 'free' sex and smile a lot. You sound like a man hater but there's mostly good men out there. If women dont want to be housewives and busy mothers they should not be giving free sex and having babies and getting married. They should better nanage their lives by staying single and childless and building a nice retirement for themselves and a pet perhaps.
@@TatianaGlare-jy4iv That's a lot of work in the home and make sure the family is fed ,clothed and live in a nice clean home. If the mom get paid, she will get $240,000 a year. Now a days , she should get a bonus. God bless momma in the house. She probably needs a vacation or 2 every so often, go for coffee or lunch with friends. I salute u parents that stay home and take care of the family.
I’m so happy I saw this tonight. I’m getting mine done this week. I point blank asked my son what I have that he wants….photos. No antiques, heirlooms. So, I’ll have to find someone that may want them. Otherwise, after I’m dead, I won’t care then. We are also getting all of our funeral arrangements done now, and giving all the kids the info.
THANK YOU!!!!! That you are giving this urgently important information so freely is amazing! I wanted to ask a question of a lawyer who was doing a book signing; and she rudely retorted "why do you think I charge $145 an hour?" Needless to say I did not buy her book, nor employ her services.
Agree with everything you say. Most people at least wait until after mourning period before checking the Will. Furthermore people generally will most of their estate to family. People should reward people that were good to them when they were alive. We all know where there is a Will - there are relatives. They all appear out of the wood work when money is involved
You forgot one thing. The person who will get most of the money regardless how it is written are the lawyers, when the fight starts and drags on until there is no money left.
All good points. Communication is key. I have prearranged my funeral and my children are aware of this, my will and living will,organ donation etc. I’m just hoping it’s a long way off!
The Finest explanation and explanation of differences in terms of WILL / Living Will and Trusts and. LLC / and Life Insurance and other things like (Beneficiaries on the original forms) Supercede Will Requests and funeral arrangments should be separated. My comment may be muddled and a mess but your explanation was five Gold Star explanation. You Must be a very good Lawyer. Cudos.
all of your videos have helped me. My husband is already deceased, of covid, and we didn't have anything written up. I had no idea what i am supposed to do now. Definitely do no have money for a lawyer, and want to do my own will. I really appreciate all your help
The towns always busy simpleton would fight, to be the official cross bearer at funerals, to lead the procession. We was told (in jest, of course): "You must be the one to carry the cross at my funeral when I die" To which he replied: "You will have to give me at least a weeks notice!"
Great information! Two general comments on wills, consider not making a close family member, the executor. My husband was his Mom's, and it was very difficult for him emotionally. Second, make a will even if you think you don't need one. My parents kept saying that since I was an only child, they didn't need one. I think part of it was superstition, not the expense! When Mom died, it took over two years to clear the estate and get the house's title in my name. Mostly because the attorney went on a three month sabbatical, and I had to start over with someone else. Folks, just do it.
I don't know about other states but I have been an Executor in Texas. Two things I learned that helped me were: 1. The will stipulated that I was an INDEPENDENT Executor so I did not have to get approval from the court for every transaction. 2. The will stipulated that I was a NO BOND Executor and was not required to post a bond. (Be sure you trust your executor fully!)
Wherever you live if you have family and maybe even friends, the vultures will be on the gatepost before you are cold. Tell your nearest and dearest to keep them at arms length. I could tell you a horrendous tale of family members charging into a bereaved widow's home (her husband died less than three hours before) and breaking into his workshop, garden sheds, cabinets and searching drawers on the excuse of 'looking for his birth certificate'. Took away valuables, cash, personal items, tools and even sold his ladders.
@@davidk3729 Absolutely, I have SEEN the same, people turn really nasty when they think there's something in it for them, or things to TAKE without permission.. Fortunately I have only a few relatives who are nice and trustworthy, but nevertheless I have photo catalogued all my modest possessions, tools etc, and am making wills stating who will receive what.
@@davidk3729 you are sadly correct. I grew up with my Grandparents more than my parents. Thanks mostly to my Mom's bad habits. I caregave for both Grandparents and became P.O.A. for their autistic son who always lived at home with them. Now, thanks to a poorly written will, my Mom is forcing the sale of the family home, and reveling in putting my Uncle out of the home he RIGHTFULLY deserved to live in, as it was my Grandparents wish for him to live there but they failed to see to it that he had a lifetime estate in the house. Now he is having serious health issues created by the stress of being put out of his home. It is a tragedy of epic proportions.
@@davidk3729 When a cousin of mine died, the “friends” who were gathered around her at the last all started just grabbing things, telling her sister that M had promised this or that to them. I mean *right* after she died! Literally under her own sister’s nose.
When my father had a massive stroke. The hospital wanted to have his donor card. We hesitated and finally they said they couldn't use organs that came from a patient on pain killers. A doctor had given my father a directive for pain killers even while he was in a coma. They decided that they couldn't use the organs because of this. My thoughts (and I was very vocal) were if my father needed pain killers at the end of his life, give it to him. Why should he have to die in agony. They were planning on stopping the pain killers once we gave them the card. I refused to do that. I felt he needed his organs until God called him home. They could have what was left when he was done with them. They wanted the card before they even explained what had happened to him! It was nuts. We finally explained that they were no longer to be bugged for the card, stop asking. My father passed away in about 9-10 days. They used his corneas. Investigate how they will care for you if it looks like you are dieing before you sign a card. They may withhold treatment if you need it at the end.
Sorry for your loss Thank you for sharing this- didn't know this! Of course want loved ones to be comfortable- pain killers. Hadn't thought about pain killer usage & donor Thanks
so you prevented anyone living from using your father's organs, so that a coma patient, who cannot feel pain, could receive useless pain medicine. I wonder if that's what your father would have wanted. I don't know why people are congratulating you for your attitude.
@@veryimportantperson3657 , It is not true that people in a coma don’t feel pain. The brain is simply not able to respond to the pain by directing reactions of the body.
This snapshot is so useful. Thank you for this. I've been working in Aged Care and specifically in the field of Dementia Care. I've also worked in Emergency Departments, ICU's and with Palliative Care Units / Teams. Hence I have often been involved in many of these discussions with partners, carers, family members etc. and am very much aware of all the things that can right as well as those that 'go seriously pear shaped' ! Managing this stuff around present or encroaching CI [ Cognitive Impairment] is also very fraught. This holds true for ALL types of CI, From Brain Injury to Intellectual Disabilities and Serious Psychiatric Impairments as well. # Plus - Increasingly we are seeing brain injuries that present differently to any classic type of dementia arising from long term (and often poly) -substance abuse and are often harder to diagnose. This can make it difficult for the person to convey their end of life wishes and their families to understand and honor these. Clinicians are also increasingly concerned about the emergence of similar complex and initially subtle cumulative brain injury impacts (In addition to the respiratory impacts ) of a whole bunch of unregulated - often imported -toxic substances introduced to the body / brain - via the massive rise and variety in Vaping products. [* Note: This is not my area of expertise and clearly more Evidence based research is needed here - which I gather is now emerging. ] These issues are now, predictably, becoming evident in much younger age groups, where typically most people have not considered Wills nor any other types of Directives. In the field of Dementia; Early Diagnosis is critically important - so that people are able to express their wishes and end of life directives whilst they are, not only able to participate in such important decisions, but are also judged legally to be still Mentally Competent. Nb. I'm viewing this from Australia and so laws here are somewhat - but no too much - different. Also some legislative differences exist between various Australian States and Territories. Here there are varying terms for end of life decisions and these go beyond NFR [ Not For Resuscitation ] instructions. For example; someone may designate a person to hold their Medical Power of Attorney [ MPofA ] when they have a diagnosis that means they are likely to be unable to communicate their wishes - long before they reach an end of life /palliative care stage. (I assume something similar of some similar name - exists in the USA ) An MPofA documents your wishes under various potential circumstances and gives the person the legal authority to convey your wishes on your behalf - about things like; Care Decisions - Medication Decisions - Pain Management - etc. A MPofA can also include your NFR instructions and detail under what circumstances you wish these to apply. People with advancing neuro-degenerative conditions or with a Stroke history or high neuro- impairment risk profile might need to consider whether they wish to make or update a Will as early as possible and might also choose to create a MPofA as a communication safety net which has legal weight. This may be particularly important where there are adult children who may hold very differing views of what 'proper care' for you consists of. [ Note: A MPof A is NOT an EPofA [ an Enduring Power of Attorney] - which applies only to financial decisions on your behalf - however both Powers of Attorney ONLY come into force when a person has lost mental / communicative competence. {By this I don't mean loss of speech. There are plenty of ways people can be assisted to convey their wishes when they retain mental competence - without the use of speech. ) Whether called; A Living Will or an End of Life Directive &/ or a Medical Power of Attorney[ as above ] you can check on-line which is used in your State and usually can download the Forms for Free + many Public Hospitals will also supply. Make sure they are done, signed and witnessed correctly. If there is complexity or uncertainty, or likely familial / beneficiary disputes; try to obtain legal advice. [ Your local Community Legal Advice / Aid Service / Free Phone Advice Line - may be able to direct you to free advice - also COTA [ Council of The Aged ] (or USA equivalent) and Alzheimer's Association counselors are also a font of local knowledge and referral pathways. Make sure your Next of Kin or other relevant person knows these exist and where they 'live'. Lodge a copy with your GP and ensure a copy is added to your electronic My Health Record (or equivalent) and in the Alerts Section in your local Hospital Patient Record - if you have one. Nb. If you don't have an Electronic Health Record, and you have a / or various health conditions and /or are on regular medications, or have any allergies etc.- you can download various fairly simple My Health Record type blank sample formats on-line and create your own personal copy. These can then be kept accessible anytime on / from your mobile phone. (This can be enormously helpful for example if you needed to call an ambulance. The Paramedics would then have instant snapshot of your health status and any mediation regime you may be on. This information can be 'life critical') Carry a Reference Card indicating that you have a Living Will or NOR Directive in your wallet - with your Drivers Licence - just as you would keep an organ Donation Card. (It's not much use your lawyer only having a copy - or your GP having a copy of this when they hear about your admission via a discharge summary from the hospital the day after you passed away - if then.) Yes - it's tempting to 'have a spit' at people - who probably thoroughly deserve it ! - in your nominations for distribution of your assets. But Beware! Such 'spit's' - when done in the context of 'Query: Mental Competency' - can be used / misused as grounds for a dispute. Also - be aware that ( In Australia) I believe a Divorce doesn't necessarily preclude a former spouse - including a former De Facto spouse - from making a claim on your estate. In some States, neither does a re-marriage. In such cases (which are now extremely common) the best legal advice I heard was to also nominate in your Will whom you DO NOT wish to benefit from your estate. Whilst a significant dispute might still be successful - I understand that in most cases this additional clarity in your intentions is honored by the courts. {# Nb. This last advice is a little dated - so if this requires any correction - please do so} Hope all that is useful ! Cheers from here.
My mother had a living will. She was dying of colon cancer. It was obvious she didn't have long to live. I went to see her and she was getting a 2nd blood transfusion to "make her more comfortable". We learned living wills have many layers like an onion. She never said she didn't want transfusions.
My mother at 94 was found lying with her arms stretched out across her walker hours after she collapsed from a mild heart attack in her room in a retirement home . She was still breathing, though, so she was rushed by ambulance to a nearby ER. She was quickly revived by an ER resident who put warm blankets around her and warm water in her bladder to end the hypothermia. I imagine the paramedics would have put warm blankets around her as well before she reached the ER. The nerves in her arms that were draped over the handles of the walker never really worked again--she could use one hand partially, couldn't push her walker and stayed in a wheelchair. The ER physician kept saying to my sister who arrived on the scene a short time after my mother arrived there, "This is not a resuscitation." How do we right clearly that if we cannot be returned to a fairly independent existence, we don't want to be revived whether we are breathing or not. Now, I suppose we have MAID (medical assitance in dying)so, maybe, that can be invoked if a person wants to die and doesn't want to live in the care of paid staff and family members.
One of the greatest benefits to my knowledge on life/estate/will planning is working with people who are close to retirement. They've passed on so much info that I never would have thought of before and one of the biggest was mentioned here as well- be careful about designated beneficiaries! So many people remarry and don't change their will, or make no will at all and everything is left to the wrong people.
I think most people think that it's LAST WILL AND TESTAMONT will overrule whatever you have done before. Atty's should explain this more when you are making a will. That's why we go to an attorney.
Paul, great content in this video. I can't tell you how many clients I serve that fall into some of the mistakes that you mention. Thanks for the video!
So really, the LAST WILL and Testament is NOT really the LAST word. The Living Will, Trust, IRA/401K beneficiary designee , LLC documents and life insurance beneficiary form is the last word.
Listen to what the guy is saying. The Will is usually the last word on your own assets (your "estate"). But insurance policies with a designated beneficiary, trusts, LLCs etc are NOT part of your estate, and follow their own rules. Jointly owned bank accounts and property ("real estate") may also be treated as "trusts" and not be disposable simply in a Will. (This depends on the exact jurisdiction, too). Any confusion is all good fun for the surviving family, of course.
Yup. My ex had our sons names on his bank accounts. They simply walked in with the death certificate and the money was theirs. No probate. I have done this with my properties. My State has a revocable life estate, so property goes to them without going through probate. I have the right to sell without their consent.
Me too. I have removed both of my daughters (and only children)from my will due to toxic behavior, just like their Narcissistic mother. Since I got divorced from her 12 yrs. ago, there has been zero contact, thought I tried for many years.
Thank you Mr. Rabalais for your thoughtful kindness in providing these videos. My gratitude for your service to others will not soon be forgotten. May the blessings of Providence be ever flowing to you.
I became the executor of my Great Aunt's estate. OMG. What a pain. I still have family that won't talk to me several years later. They simply did not understand that it wasn't MY money. Some of it went to relatives BY LAW that hadn't visited her in decades. Closer family to her threw a fit and blamed me for following the LAW. Unreal how they wanted me to commit fraud with hundreds of thousands of dollars. They'd say things like NO ONE will find out cause they didn't come around to visit. I was like SORRY not taking that chance and going to prison for ya!
I think you are better off without them. You are right, and they are wrong.
It's a mental problem when a relative die and you feel entitled to have your name all over the will.
My family had the same problem
While studying for a Bachelor in Legal Studies, I read a court case where two sister's inherited nearly a million dollars... the estate was divided between the two sister's with one receiving one penny more then the other... they spent the entire inheritance fighting over that one penny - and in the end neither got anything!!! STUPID!!!
I was in the same boat ... 19 years ago ... still hard thinking about it ... even though I tried to somewhat smooth things out with my own portion, later, ... bitter folk will be bitter folk
Great advice - thank you! I am not a wealthy person, but am comfortable. As a single person who never had children (I never hear from neices/nephew - even though I was great to them when they were quite young) it is my intention to blow through every penny I have. My pensions cover monthly general expenses - I will not be made homeless. I am planning some wonderful trips - and always have a blast at the local race track. Cheers to all!
Same here
Empty. So it was all for nothing.
@@OvertonWindex
fun in life is nothing? 🤦
you were "good to the kids when they were quite young".. if you know ANYTHING about kids in general you would understand that kids do not have the brain capacity to "remember" how great you were to them when they were young. Do you remember who was in your life when you were little? IF you had stayed in their lives and stayed great to them or had a good relationship with the parents who knowingly talked about you to the kids as they grew up ..... maybe, but the way you stated it does not seem like that is the case. Sounds like you expected too much from little children.
@@0111vramj jaimie, you make such grand assumptions here, and I don't have the patience or energy to completely respond to your thoughts. I will make just two points, however. I was blessed with some lovely and wonderful adults (some blood related, others not) in my life as a child. (I come from a physically/mentally abusive home life). I never forgot a single one of those "angels" who came to my rescue - a few of them are still "here" and we happily meet up when we can. Secondly, I have never done anything for anyone with an expectation for "reward." It just felt a bit sad when my nieces/nephew could not pick up a phone (for the last many years) to wish their Old Uncle a happy birthday. I hope this clears things up. Cheers and best wishes!
As a paralegal in practice specializing in Estate Law, another suggestion for someone preparing a Will is to not include jewelry/furnishings/etc. as a specific bequest. First off, after your death,the executor must have the jewelry/item appraised. The evaluation of those items subjects the will to further probate, prolonging the settlement of the estate. Also, we have seen where the particular piece left to a beneficiary has long since been lost or gone missing. Now the beneficiary wants another replacement item, but Sis already took it from the house, etc! We suggest that a separate signed and notarized letter for the executor be placed in an envelope with the Will outlining who gets what jewelry or furniture/painting etc. Better yet, just gift it to your loved one while you’re still alive and you can take pleasure in seeing them enjoy it.
If the furniture/jewelry isn't part of the will then the furniture/jewelry would go through intestacy, correct? That would take-up even more time than having it go through will probate. I'm not sure this advice is correct.
Edit: After doing a little more research, I have to say that this comment is patently incorrect. Specific bequests are not appraised. And, even if they were, failing to include jewelry and furnishings in a will would force those items through the intestacy process - creating a lot of work and uncertainty for the executor. I don't mean to be rude, but I don't want folks to make this kind of mistake when making their will.
I agree, the smart thing to do is give away to special people who you want to give jewelry, paintings etc. Before you pass
Not if you are still wearing the jewellery as I do
Most people will not do this. My 87 year old father won't. He says it is to be left to his 4 daughters. This is going to cause so many fights for years to come.
@@angeliquenova7440 Yes, and there is no better way to show, the affection you have for a person than to give that person something that you really want them to have, before the real war starts,
If I have anything left after working my butt off my entire life I will leave some to my kids but the rest of it will go to a guy rescuing/feeding street dogs in Thailand. He's an Irish guy with a heart of gold. His name is Niall Harbison and he's an amazing person. He's found purpose and meaning in his life and I'll support his endeavors.
1. Funeral Arrangements
2. Organ donation
3. Designation of your IRA account
4. Life Support decision
5. Trust Assets
6. Assets in an LLC
7. Reasons why you left that bequest
8. Life Insurance & Annuities all have beneficiaries when bought
@Kendrick Louie No, Nobody cares. Now you know.
@Kendrick Louie and that has what to do, with this subject...
@@philipbuckley759 they're bot accounts, not real people :)
Make sure family knows where your will and trust is located, and name of attorney. You can prepay your cremation or funeral arrangements.
@@cocosurgerow excellent, thank you!
My daughter, Laura, died in 2019. She was 32 years old and had battled various medical woes since age four. One thing that kept her going was her desire to donate her body after death so researchers can learn how to help people like her. So we donated her organs and then sent her body to a research lab. Laura made her wishes very clear and repeated often. Make sure your family knows! 💕🐝🇺🇸
Everbody should be an organ donor unless they opt out for religious reasons
@@geoffpriestley7001 Heaven knows your organs aren’t needed there. I believe you leave your corporal body behind. But If you think it gets resurrected and if there’s an all powerful being, then they certainly can reconstruct you! Personally , I wouldn’t want to drag this old body around forever! I’ll be happy to take on a new form of being or energy with a new purpose.
I don't want to burst anyone bubble. I also are an organ donor. But I also worked in hospital. Not every organ in your body is usable. In another body. It depend on if you had cancer, or chemo or like me a medications that change your blood. I have watched donations be denied for various reasons. But the other side is, donated organs that can't be used for transplant can be used for research! We need research to help end some of these diseases! Any thing we do when we donate helps! Organs are needed for everything! From eyes,ears,nose mouth or internal organs! I have no latge colon and only 17cc of small bowel. My next step will be transplant. I know they can't use most of my organs because I also had breast cancer. But I also know my organs will help others! Grace was a Saint!
@@LindaPerry_337 every body should be a doner unless theres a physical reason
I'm so very sorry for your loss. My daughter Kim was struck by a nasty kidney disease at age 13. After a medical horror show lasting almost six years, involving dialysis, endless operations and nasty medications she received a kidney from a deceased donor. This transplant in Feb2020 changed her life and *gave* her a new life! She's now at uni and through this amazing gift and heroic people like your Laura can live the life previously denied to her. I thank you and Laura from the bottom of my heart, you're amazing.
My Mom took care of everything before she passed away. She signed over her property to me. She signed over her home to my brother. We divided any money that was left after she passed. She had her burial all arranged. Her Will was all done. She told me many many times what she wanted done. Some of it was not in writing. It was easy. Hope to make it easy on my sons.
For anyone who wants to know: DNR, burial arrangements, all of your end of life decisions, can be a living will (like he said) OR what's also known as an Advanced Directive. You can literally download your state's Advanced Directive form from most state websites, fill it out, and have it notarized. Very easy, and will save everyone a lot of headaches.
Good to know. I want to be able to donate my organs but ONLY to people who have chosen NEVER to put Pfizer poison in their bodies. Thanks for pointing out the right form.
I did this for/with my mother, and it gave the family great peace of mind to know what she wanted when she ultimately was in a coma.
But you must distribute the document, if you put it in your safe deposit box and nowhere else it will do no good
@@integr8er66 You don't have to distribute anything. When it's notarized you can request that a copy be kept on file with the secretary of state (at least in CA, other states might be different) and the only other person that needs to have a copy is your next of kin or the person you designate as such in the advanced directive (sometimes referred to executor of the estate, but that term might be specific to living wills).
@@Amarianee What you just said IS distributing it. The point is it must be known that you have one, and their needs to be more than one that are the same in order to be sure it hasn't been altered. My state, and I think most don't keep your records for you, you need to do it yourself, but if you live in a nanny state, let your nanny do it for you, that is still distributing it, but still if no one knows it exists it will be a problem, and the state isn't going to even know you are in the hospital, so they aren't going to rush in with it, only your next of kin will. With a living will it is all about having it quickly when you are in the hospital, getting a copy from the state in 4-6 weeks won't help
My dogs get everything . They treated me better anyway .
Dogs arent people..whoever has the dogs when you pass will get your shit
JC you can leave your money for your dogs in a will,smart ass
@@jayc4715 not if you place your dogs with a sanctuary.
@@sharonbarton1888 the sanctuary's owner will get your $
@@kathleenkeane4364 How do dogs spend money?
I appreciate people like yourself who selflessly offer their expertise as a service to others because you genuinely want to help them avoid problems they probably don't even know exist. If the world was filled more with humans of your caliber and less with the money-grubbers and power mongers I might want to live to be 100 years old. You just pushed me up to 85. Thank you, sir.
Yes, many thanks!
Very true. Just loved the way you expressed your appreciation ❤️
@@TravelingMissD Big SHIT
++++qq+++
Me too. Thank you Sir.
My Grandmother had a ledger that she kept of all my Grandfathers jewelry and personal effects after he passed. As she gave items away to family she had them sign the ledger, along with herself and a witness and a description of the item(s) and the date given. After my grandmother passed, one of her sons tried to go after all the family members to get all the items back. I had received my grandfathers wedding band and a few other keep sakes, in the end he got nothing but to this date I still shake my head when I think of it, that was was 26 years ago.
Always a greedy one seems. She was smart lady
@@annawofford559
Smart, and *prescient*
I was the executor of my best friend's estate. The woman he was seeing (whom he left nearly everything he had) did not want to pay for his cremation, internment, his services, or his obituary. It was a very sad sad state of affairs. Eventually she could not refute paying for his cremation and internment - but she did not want him to have a service or an obituary. He lives on in the hearts of his friends - but there is no documented trail of his life and there was no coming together to celebrate the amazing man he was and the life he led. You would think an executor could go ahead with these things but be it know that unless you document what you want to happen in your will or trust, the main heir will have more power than the executor regarding how money is spent. An executor can not spend money on anything not specifically documented. And, in our case when my friend said he "wished" for something to happen, this woman's attorney said that a "wish" is not the same thing as a declaration and thus wishes do not need to be honored. She won this point.
What stopped his friends having a wake, writing an obituary etc for themselves. It is only on the memories of those who personalky knew us, for goid or bad, thst will remember us. After they die we are just a name on a gravestone if we have one. I've told my son a cardboard box and a hole on the ground is fine by me. I will be dead anyway.
Was there a will? The first provision typically states that asset distribution occurs after debts and burial/disposition expenses are paid. I would presume this is codified in state law. Thus, the executor (named in a will or appointed) would have authority to pay funeral expenses.
Helena, he was cremated - which I paid for - the trust was not funded ( his error ) - and she did not want to pay for the cremation or other debts which resulted in a 2+ year legal battle
Kamera Shy. The trust was not funded and the only assets included were property which was going to her - she hired more than one lawyer to block sale of the properties so we were at an impasse settled only after a 2+ year court battle. Some people do not care what the law says, they just want it how they want it and if they have the resources they will persist.
@@roseelley4470 wow, Rose, she sounds like someone that really cared about him. That’s just greed at its worst. At least he had you, and it sounds like that was a big plus for him. Thanks for what you did for him. It really means something to me that you went out of your way to be there for him when he really needed it!
My dear husband died very suddenly (3 weeks to the day following Achilles’ tendon repair surgery) in 14 minutes 7 years ago. 4 days before he died he saw a bill board about cremation. He said “honey, when I go, take me there. Do not spend 25,000 on a funeral”. So, when he died it was a very simple process, and very cheap too. We also had wills, which was a blessing, as this marriage was a second one for both of us. He had told me of personal monies he wanted me to give his adult children, which I have honoured. Death of a spouse can really take its toll on you, and it will take quite some time to get your feet under you. Be patient and don’t forget to breathe! 😉
I funeral does not cost $25,000. Thank you...
@@gailremp8389 It’s like a wedding. A wedding can cost let’s say $50 at the courthouse with no dinner, flowers etc or can cost anywhere up to a million dollars depending what your means of affluence are. Same with funerals. Perhaps these people only know more extravagant means of memorials and that’s where their standards come from. Or it was a typo and the 2 was meant to be a dollar sign. Regardless, her point is one that should be heeded as people make their end of life decisions. Or rather SHOULD make their end of life decisions. Coz if you don’t make those decisions before hand, someone else will make them for you after.
@@gailremp8389 You’re right & neither does marriage, but that hasn’t stop people from spending $25,000 or more to celebrate their marriage!
@@theodorehaskins3756 whew. True. Scary, isn't it?
@@emandem3088 Exactly I think she missed the point! The person making the statement was actually giving a suggestion of what not to do! When my mom was in her twilight years she was living in a three-story brownstone, I told her to give the house to one of her kids as she had 7, as two had preceded her in death & because she didn’t have a Will & my dad had already passed on, well she didn’t follow my advice & so what happen when she passed, one of my sisters decided that she was going to live in the house, but not take ownership, so I immediately saw what was going to happen after that, so I called them together, two of my siblings were in another state, so they couldn’t be at the meeting & I told them afterwards what we discussed & I simply stated to them that without a Will neither of us own this property & I said to them if anyone of you want to own this property, then it’s a simple matter of filling a claim in probate court to have the deed put in your name & that if you decided to do that I would waive any rights as an heir to the property, because I want nothing to do with it! I explain to them that real estate is a liability & it’s only an asset depending on its condition & the neighborhood it’s located in & this property is located in an area considered to be a particularly depressed neighborhood & I didn’t want anything to do with that monstrosity, because houses in my opinion are money pits & I have no interest in putting my money into something that I cannot get a reasonable return on it! So I told them I wanted nothing to do with this property & that you’re on your own, serenata, I’m out of here!
I was the executor of my brother's estate. He had life insurance from several sources, his business banking, his union chapter, his personal checking, etc. Problem was that he named the recipient when he got the policies and had the habit of naming his girlfriend at the time. And he never changed the beneficiaries. As a result, I had to track down an ex-wife and three ex girlfriends from the past 25 years to tell them they had money coming. It was hilarious. Each one said "I knew I was the one!" True story.
🤣
😄😁🤣👍
Similar thing with my dad. His third wife - long since an ex-wife - got his insurance and pensions.
My husband's first wife (whose name he never could remember) gets part of his Social Security as a survivor. She probably wondered where the heck that first check came from. I think they were married for a year when he was 20 (50 years ago).
Ya its a complete ___fest, you really got to take care of this, worst case scenario is the state will seize all your asset's, not a pleasant thought.
Your videos are brilliant. I work so hard to get my friends to get their paperwork in order and get their trusts in order. They just avoid it. It’s like they don’t want to think about it! I am 63 years old and we are not getting any younger. Thank you so much for your brilliant content. You also speak quickly but clearly and you are a very interesting speaker. That helps to absorb the information. Much more! Thank you!
@@susieq8044 thank you for your reply. It makes me very sad watching different people in my family display their character. I’ve seen the grand children and nieces and nephews act, greedy, and have expectations of money from me. Unfortunately, they are going to have a big surprise, when something eventually does happen to me. I don’t believe in rewarding people who have no moral compass!
I realize listening to this that we were lucky to have a really good estate lawyer when my in laws died. She was also the trustee for my disabled brother in law. Before her we had a law professor do their wills and he really messed up, by not paying enough attention. A big name does not guarantee a good result. But now she has retired, it’s time to redo our wills and I’m hesitating about who to hire. My sons unfortunately do not get along and my biggest goal is to be sure their limited relationship is not further damaged. Life is complicated but it seems that death is even more complicated.
The key takeaway is to annually review and update the beneficiaries on all accounts and policies. 🤷🏻♀️
And, to put a will in place for all the rest.
@ConvincedQuaker Thats a very very reasonable conclusion. I never ever thought about it. as for life insurance policies I don't get how someone had 3 ex-s get them. Wouldnt he have to remove one name and put another. Or did he just keep taking out other policies. If he did then he/she clearly knew what they were doing and even though they were exes actually deserved it.
This, is not something that I,
A). Want to dwell on, … B). Need to do on a yearly basis, … And I have no living relatives within as close as 75 miles close to me, and She, & her husband, are my wife’s sister, & spouse, … one daughter is an RN, in San Diego, Ca, and the younger one lives in Lake County, In. And runs a Dr.s office, … other than some of my deceased wife’s family, in Ky, and her 2nd cousin, that none of us ever met, (Hank Williams junior, et al, ), … I have no other family readily handy, … my Mom’s family, we’re pretty much from the North Carolina, Washington DC area, and are scattered across the globe, … as GrandDad Rash, who had made his home in DC, being one of the WW1 vets that took part in the Bonus Army occupation on the WhiteHouse Lawn, … passed on about 4 years before I was born, in Hammond, In., after being conceived in SanDiego, Ca., … being sickly from being subjected to gasses obtained in the trenches, … Over There!!!
A RRIF in Canada beneficiaries can only be spouse or dependent children under 18. There are also small unknown life insurance policies. Also Canada Savings Bonds do not have beneficery.
You must be cautious on jointly and singularly. Singularly only means small decisions. Jointly means both people have to meet at the bank and that may not be appropriate. Name only one person.
Sold everything. Spent our money having fun. No will, no probate, no court, no hearing. Still having fun with family
I don't blame you my farther told me, get it the way I did tough love
Government going to take all the money from your kids anyways….
@@vincentnichols402 q
@Diane Lawrence I feel the same way
as you do. Can't say I want my only child
to get one thing . Far to self centered
never tried to help me in anyway after
making sure she had everything possible growing up. Will not even pick
up tbe phone to call me. Have two
grandchildren that are grown now and
I don't even know them . Just Sad
Don't make treasures in this world. Is writing in the bible, God instructions.
Here in CA, that "living will" instruction is actually called an "advance directive."
Called the same here, power of attorney is also used in the same breath
The medical and burial instructions in a separate document makes total sense: For me, I realize my heirs may not know what to do, So I leave instructions how to go about it, and how to go about using my will. Yes, special sentiments could be addressed personally in a card, what a wonderful gift to those who receive it. A a gift that will last a lifetime. Amen.
@@user-fk5zw2wq5m Some states can help pay for cremation. For myself, my bills die with me.
1.) Funeral wishes (being cremated)
2.) Organ donation
3.) Who gets retirement account
4.) Life support machine decision (Take ne off the machine)
5.) Stock (Wallstreet, not chicken or beef)
6.) Assets in an LLC Donate the LLC instead..breaK APART AND RECREATE IF NEEDED
7.) Reasons why you are giving something...the laundry list of feelings
8.) Life insurance and annuities
I saved you 11:30 - time to read this of your life.
Your welcome.
How kind. Thankyou
Thank you.
😂 lol
hysterical. Best comment!
I have zero & I'm 66.
Oh well kids.
What does someone do that has that mind set?
❤
Great info, being born in the fifties this all sounds very familiar. After the crash of 07-08 my wife and I decided to sell our farm in Wisconsin and move to FL to help her parents. My father-in-law was hit from behind at a very high rate of speed by a guy texting about 9 months after we got there. We spent the next 8 years helping him and my mother-in-law out, and had to do just what you were saying about the will and other orders like DNR. I learned that if you aren't very involved in you loved ones care they can be mistreated by our medical establishment, the caretakers were hit and miss and the really good ones were angels. It was like a blur to me now looking back but I journaled a lot of it and am grateful the Lord gave us so much time with a very brave man. Blessings
God bless you Mark
There's no better experience than taking care of the people that once took care of us no matter what went down during our lifetimes.
That includes your wedding day and the birth of your children.
It fills you with joy and you know you are grown up when you take care of your dying parents.
God bless his soul. May he rest in peace. May perpetual light shine upon him. May his soul and the souls of the faithful departed through the Mercy of God rest in peace, Amen.
Amazing isn't it? How wonderful those times are when you're caring for someone who cared for you it really makes you grow. I feel bad for the people who avoid taking care of their frail and elderly relatives they don't know what they missed
Kindness is often rewarded with a sense contentment with oneself. Good Samaritan!
Re: Organ donation. Make sure you know about the agency who runs the organ donation program in your jurisdiction. Some are very much about the profit, and will SELL your body parts to labs, and nothing goes to someone who actually needs it. In my locality - there was a huge scandal about this several years back.
Wow🥺thank You so much for making all of us aware of this 😥 possible outcome.
I remember a donated body's bones were sold, unbeknownst to the family, and caused deceased's diseases to be passed on to recipients. The fam was clear their Dad wanted his remains donated to *Science*-- not for use by other patients. Can't remember how many were affected.
Coming from a family with many first responders, we talked rather openly to one another about our wishes. Many get a formal medical wishes document to take that kind of decision off their hands, I always saw it as my last gift. I am also a registered donor and have a DNR card. All reasons coming from those people who did serve as a first responder in some way. The tragic and unexpected can happen, having medical wishes ready helps. Again we talked openly about our wishes so it never really crossed my mind that as the last man standing I don’t have the prepared paperwork that would step in and prevent loved ones from feeling like they made a mistake. I’m open with those close to me but I now know I need to add that to my wishes paperwork. Even those who love you can make a mistake, they’re devastated. I’m certainly not going to risk doing that to those I love. Thanks for the advice. 💯
This is WHY you need a Will. Nobody need wonder if they're getting it right. Courts will probate it (and charge you accordingly) if it's not in writing and regustered/notarized exactly what you own, how much $$ and WHERE all of it is! Nice to feel you can trust those around you, but nail it down so your wishes are followed.
1. Your Funeral Arrangements 2. Organ Donation 3. IRA Designation 4. Life Support Machine Decisions 5. Trust determines where Trust Assets go 6. LLC Assets 7. Reasons why you left a bequest 8. LIfe Insurance and Annuities
Thank you!
Yes !! Thank You.
Thank you
Thnx
thank you, much better than listening to this guy
One thing that he didn’t mention is that when you go to the ER or the funeral home, they want someone to sign. This signature in the ER case, is not for care, as if it’s an emergency the hospital HAS to treat the person. Your signature indicates who is responsible for the bill, and if the person dies, whomever signed is who’ll be getting the bill. Same at the funeral home. Once they draw everything up, they’ll want whomever to sign off on it. Conversely whomever signs off on it is who’s responsible for the bill, so be careful!
This is great to know! Thank you.
Att. Ben Dover has relatives working everywhere.
Great advice. One missing item. REMINDER TO REVIEW AND UPDATE E ERYTHING AT LEAST ONCE A YEAR. Especially if you're getting up in age.
This is so funny. When I worked in the ER I took care of a very good 80+yo retired music teacher. She was wonderful and sharp as a tack. She insisted on signing a DO NOT RESUSCITATE order. I asked her if she was sure,yes she said. Well on the elevator ride up to the ICU,she coded. I didn't think of her last wish,I immediately started CPR,shocked her and turned her over to the ICU staff. She lived,the next day I went to visit her,she took my hands into hers and thanked me repeatedly for not honoring her DNR request. Lol
What a great lady!
My mother in law was in her 70s and signed one of those in the hospital and her level of care declined noticeably. It’s as if they put her out on an ice burg to float away. Maybe it was just that hospital but why take the chance?
Excellent point, thank you!
@@winebox Another excellent point, thank you!
She didn’t mean it to be acted on right away!
@@winebox @ it’s just like signing an organ donor card, as soon as they see it in the ER they won’t try to save you, they will only keep you ALIVE to harvest your organs. Many doctors won’t sign them, I saw that a few years ago on an special they did on organ donors.
When you are the last one left, make sure all beneficiary forms are updated. ALSO make sure your bank accounts are POD, Payable On Death. Other financial accounts can be setup TOD, Transfer On Death. For real estate deeds, make sure the wording says WITH RIGHT OF SURVIVORSHIP when you add someone. DO IT NOW!
Excellent advice.
Do you have any idea how to add someone to the deed for your mortgage? I still have mortgage payments but in Florida they give you the "Warranty Deed" in your closing paperwork. I want to add my brother to it and be sure it gets recorded properly. Thank you.
@@gypsygirl9 You need to see an attorney, he should be added with "right of survivorship". because he is your brother and not your son there may be tax implications. Ask the attorney, the county tax clerk and or your accountant. It would be a quit claim deed they would submit.
Thank you so much for this piece of information. I will definitely be calling the bank Monday morning, and a few other places!
Bravo !! Best advice ever!
I learned a lot in a timely manner. I’m 83 and most of my estate is an annuity and I was going to put it in a holographic will. Thanks much!
Hope you have many years of good health ahead of you yet! But, yes, consulting with a professional is a good idea.
There are some States that do not recognize holographic wills. Other states require you to register and file your Will/Trust with the County Probate Court as soon as you have it written. Others REQUIRE you to hire a Lawyer even if you have full understanding (and a Nolo Press book!) of how it all works. It would be so much more fun if we had uniformity in ALL States of how it all must be done.
It was less than 2 years ago that my wife as trustee had to familiarize herself with her Mom's Living Trust. She needed my help but it was my first time and Wow! I was impressed. So I do appreciate what you are doing here.
When you die all the vultures circle. Spend it all or make damn sure only those you want to leave anything to get it
Good advice. Being of sound mind and body I've spent the lot.
Have a laugh on the bank after you've gone. Eddie Stobart a well known successful haulage company director in UK left a debt of £100,000. The bank were happy to lend to such a famous rich guy. Mistaken belief in appearances, rich company, not so rich guy.
I like bluntness. You said it well.
You are so right bad things come out of a sealed locked closet
An here's where the fist fighting begins
No one comes when you ask for help nobody calls either
But just as soon as they here they passed away Oh there on your door step telling you what belongs to them or I was promised this
When my mother passed away I'm ready cause the Sylvester Claws are coming out
We only have 1 child and if we go, she gets anything we have. If she doesnt outlive us, its divided between her 3 children. Simple.
@@sharoncrawford3042 and you won't be there to see them squabbling over it, along with all the other relatives you didn't know you had and the ones you haven't seen for 30 years.
I lost my husband 4 years ago. I just retired from teaching this year. I had not redone my beneficiaries for my retirement account, life insurance, annuity, etc. since my husband's passing. Fortunately, that was part of the process for submitting my retirement paperwork. I had to take him off as beneficiary. So, remember if there are life changes, this needs to be completed. Thanks for the additional tips!
Hello Melissa 😊
It's also wise to update your Will periodically. Priorities change, as well as your financial circumstances.
Sorry for your loss & you are correct! The same goes for any life change...I was divorced & we shared custody so I wasn’t really worried about changing things until both kids were no longer minors. Then he & I both had to go back over things several times.
Some provision for simultaneous death should be included. If you are both killed in a roadway smash or a train or plane crash, it will smooth things out.
@@Bobrogers99 Also laws, both statutes passed by the legislature and court rulings, change. This is a reason why a will should be at least vetted if not prepared by an estate lawyer. If you have property in other states a separate addendum for each state (or foreign country) should be attached to the primary will.
Paul you truly are a blessing Thank you kindly for taking the time of day to share.
I agree with you 100%. And that's how I do mine. Since I use trust, trust is the only one who carries who gets who? Burial wishes, it's written on the separate page of paper, with details on it, and it is part of the trust, and it is copy of it is submitted to all the trustes, and beneficiaries. So they all know upon upon my depath since they have a copy of it and they know what to do immediately upon my death.
Well done, sir, from this old retired lawyer who has trampled the grapes of wrath in and about Probate Court for some decades. I
Your the guy i don't want my kids to see lol✌🏽
C'mon man , without them you'd have had to get a proper job.
"Trampled the grapes of wrath in Probate Court" 😀😆😅🤣😂
I am scheduled to meet an attorney next week about setting up a final will. Watching this video I know now what to narrow it down to and not waste time. Thanks so much for the wonderful information!
I live in a great place with a do nothing President and don’t care governor !
Love this.
So many "oh of course" moments.
Things that are logical when said out loud, but until someone says them, you may not think about them.
Thank you so much for being on RUclips and educating. there's so much that I never knew that I need to know. You really inspired me to study to educate myself and my children.
Thank you so much for your help. I am a 70 year old widow, just planning my will. Opened 1 IRA for @ of my 3 children, & 7 small accounts for @ of my grandchildren. Not much for any of them, but this way they know I care. This information is so helpful.
@Karl with a K Karl, it would if just one is left out. Really, let’s say a person has 5 grandchildren and gives 4 of them a cookie. If that 5th grandchild is left out, it hurts. Just like this thoughtful woman who wants each grandchild and each child to have something upon her demise.
“It’s a mess when it’s messy”, says an attorney-at-law. He’s seen it all and he’s out of words! I have no choice now, but to listen to his advice!
My husband & I just did our wills. Listening to you & having been a Secretary at a Law Firm, we did it correctly. Thank you for your expert advice!!
Good info! When I wrote my will, I was told to not put in ANYTHING that would need to be implemented BEFORE the will was read. So, I have a "Living Will", my medical POA in case I'm not able to make my own medical decision, my DNR request, my donor request, my life insurance paperwork, my funeral/cremation requests, and so on. My sister and brother each have their own parts of it, sister the will, brother the POA. I was able to do this with a pre-packaged free will preparation package, but I got a lot of advice from others with experience as I did it. I may at some point go to a lawyer to get it made all pretty, but my estate, as such, is pretty much nothing and my only concern it keeping it out of probate.
Might be worthwhile to ask County Probate Court CLERK, if your detailed attention to all these details is enough. They might just say to file a copy in the Court (small fee, maybe?) and save hiring a lawyer for a consultation. OTOH, if you can find a reliable lawyer, hire him! But it sounds like you've got your ducks in a row!👍
When Mom died, ten years after Dad, we five children had our own private auction of the private property left behind. In other words, if you really did want that grandfather clock you had to outbid the others. We didn't have to pony up the cash, only deducted it from the final 1/5 share of the estate. Was actually a lot of fun teasing each other about how junky that old Lexus really is. Two of us bought out the other three on the homestead real estate too. That took more than just a day though. Good memories yet, and it's been 21 years.
I read about that technique in a mathematics paper. Always struck me as a great way to do it.
Well, I feel I was short changed in my late mothers will.
When my parents bought their home, I lent them 25% of the then value of the property (but no written agreement), it was known to the family I owned 25% of the property.
When my mum passed away, my sister was executor.
Basically after the property was sold all expenses paid for funeral etc. All 8 grand children were to receive 'x' amount each, the balance to be shared equally between remaining children. There were only two remaining children alive - myself & my sister who was the executor. The money was split in half even though my sister knew I owned 25% of the property.
**I feel when the property was sold, the fair thing to do should have been 25% of the property sale given to myself before any expenses were paid, then 'x' amount each to the 8 grandchildren, then the balance split equally between myself & sister. 😊. But, I didn't point that out.
Friend of a friend did the same. They were wealthy with many antiques. An auction was held. If anyone wanted anything they had to bid on it. No fights with that process.
My kid sister had a thing about how she thought she owned everything mom left simply because she was nine years younger, the accidental child. Anyway, the days before and after mom died she rummaged around the house and took everything she wanted, leaving the rest for a junky estate sale, with no thought to the desires of the other three children. She was packing up stuff, including a nice old 50s antique glass and brass candy dish, and I took it away from her, because I had bought that for mom at the Mott's Five and Dime store on the corner. It was a gift for mom's birthday one year when I was about ten, using my carefully hoarded coins from doing odd jobs around the neighborhood. Damn greedy sis - she also tried to get the expensive Singer stainless steel pinking shears I had bought for Mom. They cost over four bucks, and in 1962 that was huge - the profit from a whole day's work outdoors in neighbor's yards. Many years later she was made executor of dads will, and screwed me badly, but that's another story.
@@ammoalamo6485 I’m sorry. That sucks. I was so proud of my two sons when my ex died. They were both so kind to each other and really fair. It was heartwarming.
Be clear on your will. And don't be cruel. Be fair. But me, I will be giving money to my kids while they are alive to watch their lives be changed, hopefully for the better, and not watch them struggle. I hate how people wait til they are gone to do this. If you've got it, and have more than enough to live on and are frugal, I would let mine have it and help them.
I couldn't agree more!
My parents created a living trust and put the real estate holdings in the trust. Later they sold the property but didn’t update the trust. Dad just assumed everything was automatic. When he passed his assets were in the form of mutual funds with beneficiaries and funds were equally distributed to the heirs, everything worked out with some extra paperwork involved. Lesson: keep the living trust up to date.
These are good tips. I had to make the organ donation request for my husband when he was on life support. He was a very giving man and 2 people can see today because of that.
I felt a certain amount of self-satisfaction that all of these either didn't apply to me or I was already aware of them. But I was an executor to my dad's estate 15 years ago, so I had a leg up. (He was smart or fortunate enough not to have made any serious errors or omissions, so it wasn't too bad).
God bless his soul and God bless you!
This is a good checklist for the questions lawyers need to ask when making a will for a client. I ran into some of these when I was practicing law, and asked the client about IRAs, life insurance and trusts. And quite a few people wanted to put their funeral arrangements in the will. Another thing that people need to know is: don't put your will in a safe deposit box at the bank, unless someone else has access to the box! And if you are changing your will, let the people who are concerned know about it. Since this is Texas, I would suggest a family BBQ and start the fire with the old will, and then tell your executor where you put your new will.
LOL, Tex!!! 😂
He isn't wrong though, most big family decisions and announcements happen at the family BBQ. A lot of family fights also start there lol
TEXAS, Baby! 🥳
I second that advice 😁👍🏼
I read executor as executioner 😭
😂😂😂
This was so informative. Everyone needs to watch this and take notes! I'm going through probate now and it's a nightmare.
The topic of giving particular items is very informative for me. My grandfather passed away, my father was the named executor, and the will designated specific items for us. Unfortunately, his 3rd wife had already started giving those items away to her boyfriend-on-the-side (she was much younger than my grandfather) without our knowledge, so most such items are lost to us forever. I wondered about the legality of it, but see now that since it occurred during the brief time he was in nursing care, the will was too late.
He could have easily given those items to us when he visited him last, and then he could have enjoyed the personal experience of gifting them. For instance, he has souvenirs from WWII that are now in the possession of some stranger, but he could have handed it to kids/grandkids and had personal enjoyment and interaction. Likewise, he had stated he would give a certain amount of $ to each great-grandchild for college, but it wasn't in the will. He could have given a lesser amount while alive and seen some results and thank-yous.
My in-laws were very successful, owning 6 rental houses and valuable stock/bonds/etc. They met with a financial planner and established a trust. They also decided to gift a uniform amount each year to the kids while they were alive, observing rules about tax limits on gifts, etc. They did not specify disbursement of specific items - such as the jewelry collection, etc - but the family worked it out amicably and then sold the rest. Of course - it didn't go perfectly, but it never does and people need to behave maturely. Even with the trust and a detailed will, it took 2 years to dissolve everything and disburse it.
NOTE - In our case, when the holdings were divided up from the trust, certain people did get certain houses and certain IRAs. But I believe all of that was in the trust instructions as well as instructions to the executors (the oldest two siblings). For the most part, people knew well ahead of time what they were getting, and that avoids many issues.
Just remember - You are supposed to value the memories, not covet their belongings.
And if you failed to get something, technically the deceased failed to handle it and there is not much you can or should do after the fact.
i agree on the should with the one exception that this video brought to lite. When someone was listed as the beneficary decades ago and a more update will had it listed otherwise. Clearly the will should be supreme as a) most believe that that is what is used (most aren't lawyers) and b) its more update. I can totally tottally tottaly see people list x-spouses or girl friends when they open ira's and not even realize the impact. thats very dishartening.
Very kind of you to give expert advise to people who don't even know they need it.I hope everyone sees this.
If you have a lot of assets and you care about what happens to them after you die, work with an estate attorney. We did that and I review our will annually.
Never ever leave property to a charity! They need money and will sell cheaply to get it. Leave proceeds of sale instead so that the executor can maximise your gift.
Thank you for this information
Thank you for your helpful, professional, clear & concise advise & recommendations on "Will No-Nos".
How in the world did you know I'm making out my will? I sat down with him, the lawyer, just long enough to find out what I needed in paperwork to get to him and he has everything now but we haven't gone any farther yet so you have arrived right on time Dear Sir, I'm so thankful for your advice it will help me out so much God bless.
It's called a Health Directive in many states instead of Living Will - we carry a copy with us when we go in for surgery, etc. hospitals will make copies and keep in your account
Thanks for this, we've finally decided that at 74 & 75 y.o. it's time to get serious about a will. Your info is just what we needed!
Notary in Québec, Canada here. I tell people funeral arrangements are not a necessity in a will (because the will is usually opened weeks after the funeral), but can offer a good opportunity for a a conversation with family and help avoid or settle disputes. We have several jurisprudence where the court has relied on the dispositions in the will concerning funeral arrangements to guide its decisions and it usually favours what the deceased wanted.
Never give a living will to a hospital or doctor for their records. They always asked and I always refused. When they called me to say that my mother in law was totally unresponsive so I brought them the will, then I walked into the hospital room and said "Mom what happened? You were supposed to come home today!" She yelled out "I know!" I can't tell you the fight I had to go through to get her treatment instead of hospice. She lived a very productive life for several years by the way.
Oh thank heavens.
They only need the portion that applies to what I call the “what if.”
My expression of informed consent.
They get it if I go under the knife, and G forbid.
The National Right To Life Committee offers "Will-To-Live" forms custom designed for each US state and territory.
@@algrayson8965 I didn't know that! I need to look into that!
It seems living frugally on a small income, and being a minimalist is a blessing.
And when the SHTF, you will be able to cope and manage much better than everyone else because you've experienced it before and know what to do.
@@toreckman8899 your wife worked at home raising your children, cleaning, cooking, taking care of everybody and sex for free, that is huge job.
@@TatianaGlare-jy4iv did you say sex for free? There is no such thing.
@@TatianaGlare-jy4iv the wife has a job as a FT mother to THEIR children and a FT home manager. She and her husband work as a team. And I believe they both get 'free' sex and smile a lot. You sound like a man hater but there's mostly good men out there. If women dont want to be housewives and busy mothers they should not be giving free sex and having babies and getting married. They should better nanage their lives by staying single and childless and building a nice retirement for themselves and a pet perhaps.
@@TatianaGlare-jy4iv
That's a lot of work in the home and make sure the family is fed ,clothed and live in a nice clean
home. If the mom get paid, she will get $240,000 a year. Now a days , she should get a bonus.
God bless momma in the house. She probably needs a vacation or 2 every so often, go for coffee
or lunch with friends. I salute u parents that stay home and take care of the family.
I’m so happy I saw this tonight. I’m getting mine done this week. I point blank asked my son what I have that he wants….photos. No antiques, heirlooms. So, I’ll have to find someone that may want them. Otherwise, after I’m dead, I won’t care then. We are also getting all of our funeral arrangements done now, and giving all the kids the info.
THANK YOU!!!!! That you are giving this urgently important information so freely is amazing!
I wanted to ask a question of a lawyer who was doing a book signing; and she rudely retorted "why do you think I charge $145 an hour?" Needless to say I did not buy her book, nor employ her services.
Gifts are best given with a warm hand.
. . . and are thereafter handled more responsibly. I like your adage.
Agree with everything you say. Most people at least wait until after mourning period before checking the Will. Furthermore people generally will most of their estate to family. People should reward people that were good to them when they were alive. We all know where there is a Will - there are relatives. They all appear out of the wood work when money is involved
Thank you for taking the time to make and share this clear, concise presentation. I found it to very helpful.
Thank you for being so kind to share this.
You forgot one thing. The person who will get most of the money regardless how it is written are the lawyers, when the fight starts and drags on until there is no money left.
Whose fault is the fight ?
All good points. Communication is key. I have prearranged my funeral and my children are aware of this, my will and living will,organ donation etc. I’m just hoping it’s a long way off!
Me too. Stay safe and healthy.
The Finest explanation and explanation of differences in terms of WILL / Living Will and Trusts and. LLC / and Life Insurance and other things like (Beneficiaries on the original forms) Supercede Will Requests and funeral arrangments should be separated. My comment may be muddled and a mess but your explanation was five Gold Star explanation. You Must be a very good Lawyer. Cudos.
Thank you very much. My husband and i having talking about this . You have given us great points.
all of your videos have helped me. My husband is already deceased, of covid, and we didn't have anything written up. I had no idea what i am supposed to do now. Definitely do no have money for a lawyer, and want to do my own will. I really appreciate all your help
I had to laugh when he said "It's not a good idea to pass away...". I'd have to agree.
The towns always busy simpleton would fight, to be the official cross bearer at funerals, to lead the procession.
We was told (in jest, of course):
"You must be the one to carry the cross at my funeral when I die"
To which he replied:
"You will have to give me at least a weeks notice!"
Great information! Two general comments on wills, consider not making a close family member, the executor. My husband was his Mom's, and it was very difficult for him emotionally.
Second, make a will even if you think you don't need one. My parents kept saying that since I was an only child, they didn't need one. I think part of it was superstition, not the expense! When Mom died, it took over two years to clear the estate and get the house's title in my name. Mostly because the attorney went on a three month sabbatical, and I had to start over with someone else. Folks, just do it.
Thanks you for sharing all of this information.
I don't know about other states but I have been an Executor in Texas. Two things I learned that helped me were:
1. The will stipulated that I was an INDEPENDENT Executor so I did not have to get approval from the court for every transaction.
2. The will stipulated that I was a NO BOND Executor and was not required to post a bond. (Be sure you trust your executor fully!)
I'm glad you differentiated between a living will which includes DNR or machines to keep you breathing versus a regular written will and testament
Thank you for confirming all.
Thank you paul, I finally got my last will wrote up correctly and now I'm dead and as happy as can be.
Thank you. It’s not a topic I gave much thought about until I saw this comprehensive video.
I'm watching this in UK where the laws are somewhat different. But this is very clear & helpful nonetheless, Thank you.
Hhhhhhhhhhhh
Wherever you live if you have family and maybe even friends, the vultures will be on the gatepost before you are cold. Tell your nearest and dearest to keep them at arms length. I could tell you a horrendous tale of family members charging into a bereaved widow's home (her husband died less than three hours before) and breaking into his workshop, garden sheds, cabinets and searching drawers on the excuse of 'looking for his birth certificate'. Took away valuables, cash, personal items, tools and even sold his ladders.
@@davidk3729 Absolutely, I have SEEN the same, people turn really nasty when they think there's something in it for them, or things to TAKE without permission.. Fortunately I have only a few relatives who are nice and trustworthy, but nevertheless I have photo catalogued all my modest possessions, tools etc, and am making wills stating who will receive what.
@@davidk3729 you are sadly correct. I grew up with my Grandparents more than my parents. Thanks mostly to my Mom's bad habits.
I caregave for both Grandparents and became P.O.A. for their autistic son who always lived at home with them. Now, thanks to a poorly written will, my Mom is forcing the sale of the family home, and reveling in putting my Uncle out of the home he RIGHTFULLY deserved to live in, as it was my Grandparents wish for him to live there but they failed to see to it that he had a lifetime estate in the house.
Now he is having serious health issues created by the stress of being put out of his home.
It is a tragedy of epic proportions.
@@davidk3729 When a cousin of mine died, the “friends” who were gathered around her at the last all started just grabbing things, telling her sister that M had promised this or that to them.
I mean *right* after she died! Literally under her own sister’s nose.
He did wills and trust for me. Great work and he is worth every red cent I paid him. Great guy.
Excellent! Glad I’ve done everything you mentioned! Thank you for the information!
When my father had a massive stroke. The hospital wanted to have his donor card. We hesitated and finally they said they couldn't use organs that came from a patient on pain killers. A doctor had given my father a directive for pain killers even while he was in a coma. They decided that they couldn't use the organs because of this. My thoughts (and I was very vocal) were if my father needed pain killers at the end of his life, give it to him. Why should he have to die in agony. They were planning on stopping the pain killers once we gave them the card. I refused to do that. I felt he needed his organs until God called him home. They could have what was left when he was done with them. They wanted the card before they even explained what had happened to him! It was nuts. We finally explained that they were no longer to be bugged for the card, stop asking. My father passed away in about 9-10 days. They used his corneas. Investigate how they will care for you if it looks like you are dieing before you sign a card. They may withhold treatment if you need it at the end.
My brother was a surgeon , that has died sadly, gave me the advice on being careful about being a donor.
Sorry for your loss
Thank you for sharing this- didn't know this! Of course want loved ones to be comfortable- pain killers. Hadn't thought about pain killer usage & donor Thanks
I am sorry for your loss. Thanks for sharing this important information.
so you prevented anyone living from using your father's organs, so that a coma patient, who cannot feel pain, could receive useless pain medicine. I wonder if that's what your father would have wanted. I don't know why people are congratulating you for your attitude.
@@veryimportantperson3657 , It is not true that people in a coma don’t feel pain. The brain is simply not able to respond to the pain by directing reactions of the body.
This snapshot is so useful. Thank you for this.
I've been working in Aged Care and specifically in the field of Dementia Care. I've also worked in Emergency Departments, ICU's and with Palliative Care Units / Teams. Hence I have often been involved in many of these discussions with partners, carers, family members etc. and am very much aware of all the things that can right as well as those that 'go seriously pear shaped' !
Managing this stuff around present or encroaching CI [ Cognitive Impairment] is also very fraught.
This holds true for ALL types of CI, From Brain Injury to Intellectual Disabilities and Serious Psychiatric Impairments as well.
# Plus - Increasingly we are seeing brain injuries that present differently to any classic type of dementia arising from long term (and often poly) -substance abuse and are often harder to diagnose. This can make it difficult for the person to convey their end of life wishes and their families to understand and honor these.
Clinicians are also increasingly concerned about the emergence of similar complex and initially subtle cumulative brain injury impacts (In addition to the respiratory impacts ) of a whole bunch of unregulated - often imported -toxic substances introduced to the body / brain - via the massive rise and variety in Vaping products. [* Note: This is not my area of expertise and clearly more Evidence based research is needed here - which I gather is now emerging. ]
These issues are now, predictably, becoming evident in much younger age groups, where typically most people have not considered Wills nor any other types of Directives.
In the field of Dementia; Early Diagnosis is critically important - so that people are able to express their wishes and end of life directives whilst they are, not only able to participate in such important decisions, but are also judged legally to be still Mentally Competent.
Nb. I'm viewing this from Australia and so laws here are somewhat - but no too much - different. Also some legislative differences exist between various Australian States and Territories.
Here there are varying terms for end of life decisions and these go beyond NFR [ Not For Resuscitation ] instructions.
For example; someone may designate a person to hold their Medical Power of Attorney [ MPofA ] when they have a diagnosis that means they are likely to be unable to communicate their wishes - long before they reach an end of life /palliative care stage. (I assume something similar of some similar name - exists in the USA ) An MPofA documents your wishes under various potential circumstances and gives the person the legal authority to convey your wishes on your behalf - about things like; Care Decisions - Medication Decisions - Pain Management - etc.
A MPofA can also include your NFR instructions and detail under what circumstances you wish these to apply.
People with advancing neuro-degenerative conditions or with a Stroke history or high neuro- impairment risk profile might need to consider whether they wish to make or update a Will as early as possible and might also choose to create a MPofA as a communication safety net which has legal weight. This may be particularly important where there are adult children who may hold very differing views of what 'proper care' for you consists of.
[ Note: A MPof A is NOT an EPofA [ an Enduring Power of Attorney] - which applies only to financial decisions on your behalf - however both Powers of Attorney ONLY come into force when a person has lost mental / communicative competence. {By this I don't mean loss of speech. There are plenty of ways people can be assisted to convey their wishes when they retain mental competence - without the use of speech. )
Whether called; A Living Will or an End of Life Directive &/ or a Medical Power of Attorney[ as above ] you can check on-line which is used in your State and usually can download the Forms for Free + many Public Hospitals will also supply. Make sure they are done, signed and witnessed correctly. If there is complexity or uncertainty, or likely familial / beneficiary disputes; try to obtain legal advice.
[ Your local Community Legal Advice / Aid Service / Free Phone Advice Line - may be able to direct you to free advice - also COTA [ Council of The Aged ] (or USA equivalent) and Alzheimer's Association counselors are also a font of local knowledge and referral pathways.
Make sure your Next of Kin or other relevant person knows these exist and where they 'live'.
Lodge a copy with your GP and ensure a copy is added to your electronic My Health Record (or equivalent) and in the Alerts Section in your local Hospital Patient Record - if you have one.
Nb. If you don't have an Electronic Health Record, and you have a / or various health conditions and /or are on regular medications, or have any allergies etc.- you can download various fairly simple My Health Record type blank sample formats on-line and create your own personal copy. These can then be kept accessible anytime on / from your mobile phone. (This can be enormously helpful for example if you needed to call an ambulance. The Paramedics would then have instant snapshot of your health status and any mediation regime you may be on. This information can be 'life critical')
Carry a Reference Card indicating that you have a Living Will or NOR Directive in your wallet - with your Drivers Licence - just as you would keep an organ Donation Card. (It's not much use your lawyer only having a copy - or your GP having a copy of this when they hear about your admission via a discharge summary from the hospital the day after you passed away - if then.)
Yes - it's tempting to 'have a spit' at people - who probably thoroughly deserve it ! - in your nominations for distribution of your assets. But Beware! Such 'spit's' - when done in the context of 'Query: Mental Competency' - can be used / misused as grounds for a dispute.
Also - be aware that ( In Australia) I believe a Divorce doesn't necessarily preclude a former spouse - including a former De Facto spouse - from making a claim on your estate. In some States, neither does a re-marriage. In such cases (which are now extremely common) the best legal advice I heard was to also nominate in your Will whom you DO NOT wish to benefit from your estate. Whilst a significant dispute might still be successful - I understand that in most cases this additional clarity in your intentions is honored by the courts.
{# Nb. This last advice is a little dated - so if this requires any correction - please do so}
Hope all that is useful !
Cheers from here.
Thank you for your guidance in this particular matter.
Thank you all your info is insightful!!
My mother had a living will. She was dying of colon cancer. It was obvious she didn't have long to live. I went to see her and she was getting a 2nd blood transfusion to "make her more comfortable". We learned living wills have many layers like an onion. She never said she didn't want transfusions.
Hello how are you doing 👋👋👋☺️
Wow🫤 good to know.
But if she is still able to speak - she can demand to not have a transfusion. If she cannot speak - make her more comfortable with increased morphine.
My mother at 94 was found lying with her arms stretched out across her walker hours after she collapsed from a mild heart attack in her room in a retirement home . She was still breathing, though, so she was rushed by ambulance to a nearby ER. She was quickly revived by an ER resident who put warm blankets around her and warm water in her bladder to end the hypothermia. I imagine the paramedics would have put warm blankets around her as well before she reached the ER. The nerves in her arms that were draped over the handles of the walker never really worked again--she could use one hand partially, couldn't push her walker and stayed in a wheelchair. The ER physician kept saying to my sister who arrived on the scene a short time after my mother arrived there, "This is not a resuscitation." How do we right clearly that if we cannot be returned to a fairly independent existence, we don't want to be revived whether we are breathing or not. Now, I suppose we have MAID (medical assitance in dying)so, maybe, that can be invoked if a person wants to die and doesn't want to live in the care of paid staff and family members.
You have no idea how much you have helped me here. Feel like I owe you some dough 😔 Guess I will simply Like and Subscribe. You're a Peach!
One of the greatest benefits to my knowledge on life/estate/will planning is working with people who are close to retirement. They've passed on so much info that I never would have thought of before and one of the biggest was mentioned here as well- be careful about designated beneficiaries! So many people remarry and don't change their will, or make no will at all and everything is left to the wrong people.
I think most people think that it's LAST WILL AND TESTAMONT will overrule whatever you have done before. Atty's should explain this more when you are making a will. That's why we go to an attorney.
Paul, great content in this video. I can't tell you how many clients I serve that fall into some of the mistakes that you mention. Thanks for the video!
So really, the LAST WILL and Testament is NOT really the LAST word. The Living Will, Trust, IRA/401K beneficiary designee , LLC documents and life insurance beneficiary form is the last word.
"Service" is the last word.
As in Internal Revenue Service.
They come before the will is read.
Listen to what the guy is saying. The Will is usually the last word on your own assets (your "estate"). But insurance policies with a designated beneficiary, trusts, LLCs etc are NOT part of your estate, and follow their own rules. Jointly owned bank accounts and property ("real estate") may also be treated as "trusts" and not be disposable simply in a Will. (This depends on the exact jurisdiction, too). Any confusion is all good fun for the surviving family, of course.
@@chrisnash6094
LOL! One word, .......
SARCASM!
Yup. My ex had our sons names on his bank accounts. They simply walked in with the death certificate and the money was theirs. No probate. I have done this with my properties. My State has a revocable life estate, so property goes to them without going through probate. I have the right to sell without their consent.
Bless you Sie for things out time too bless us all with your knowledge ! 🙏
Thsnks. Glad to see I have avoided all these pitfalls...
I've changed my will over 3 times already because people come and people go..💰⚰💰⚰💰⚰💰⚰
Ha ha ha....you made my day! Long may you keep changing your will sir!
Me too
Hahahaaaaa
As I have done also...children can be disloyal and I don't reward "disloyalty".
Me too. I have removed both of my daughters (and only children)from my will due to toxic behavior, just like their Narcissistic mother. Since I got divorced from her 12 yrs. ago, there has been zero contact, thought I tried for many years.
My mom did her will...made 3 copies for each kid and we got it while she was alive and well. It was great!
That's all fine and good for a functional Family, not good for a dysfunctional one.
Thank you, many points made I never thought about.
You saved me a lot of " oh dear" in my will.
Incredibly helpful, informative and funny too a bit. Thank you!!❤
Thank you Mr. Rabalais for your thoughtful kindness in providing these videos. My gratitude for your service to others will not soon be forgotten. May the blessings of Providence be ever flowing to you.
@Hello there, how are you doing this blessed day?