And that would be a very good reason. First things first, he should have NEVER married her. She wants an easy ride and married into it. She wants to be a "stay at home mom". Okay. But I guarantee that with his income, she will be spending HIS money on things like maids or housekeepers and having food delivered while she sits on the couch watching talk shows and whines about how her life just isn't complete. I REALLY hope there was a pre-nup. Because he's gonna need it.
@@justabill5780 I think they're in Canada. I just read an article the other day about how their tribunal court (or whatever they have up there) ruled that an *unmarried* man had to essentially pay his ex _girlfriend_ alimony, because regarddless that they didn't live together, they didn't own a house together, etc., the council still decided they were married because they were acting as a married couple - paperwork or not. Yeah...
@@justabill5780 😂 okay, but after they married, that was no longer just "HIS" money. And they should've had a conversation before they married, obviously.
Well, he has probably been the best thing that happened to my marriage! I'm glad he doesn't turn away callers who have relationship problems mixed into the financial!
Growing up my Dads friend made over $300k back then it was a lot of money. His wife worked full time at a restaurant because she wanted to have her own income. Their daughter went to private school, and at 17 got a job in fast food. The father passed away when the daughter was in her 20’s she started partying and flying to night clubs on helicopters with the money she inherited. The mom still worked as a waitress because she liked people. They lived in a multi-million dollar home. The mom was always level headed. The daughter squandered her inheritance but found rich guys to bail her out. Now she’s 50 and no guys are coming to the rescue and she is completely broke. Humility goes a long way
@@coleautoclark4126 she did this after her father died. father probably made a deal and made her work and once she seen he die and got all the money. quit her job and party.
Yes she is probably a cry baby who creates a lot of nonsense when she stays at home. This is not about money. She needs to work because she will probably be a bad stay at home mom.
@@bookcollection2883 I think you're going off of too little information to accurately use the term "probably." It's possible, but no way to say probable with any certainty. It could possibly be that since he grew up with a mother who worked in the workforce, his view of the mother's role is to do the same. Maybe he feels he'd be taken advantage of if he's the only one earning money. And that could be trust issues on his part or a skewed view of healthy roles in marriage and parenthood. Again, no way to be certain or say what is probable in this case. Many possibilities.
@Intelligent Thanos Obviously you've never taken care of children. You must be single or you don't have any or don't care how your children are raised. I think she made a mistake in marrying this man.
@@dakotalisa3893 That's the thing. There is nothing wrong with that. That is why there is probably something else. If one thing is not a problem, then something else must be.
it's not always cut & dry like that. I never thought i'd want to be a stay at home mom...until I had my child. even being pregnant, I had career goals & aspirations etc. Baby joins us & bam...all out the window. I would LOVE to be a SAHM with all my heart & would have TOTALLY planned differently to set that up had i known i'd feel this way.
I'd wager money there was a discussion and that he was clear how he felt about it before they got married. She was okay with it at the time but now she's changed her mind.
This caller's husband sounds very calculated. He was with her for 7 years prior to marrying her and still wants her to work. I am of the belief that he is concerned that in the event of a divorce he would be required to pay her spousal support/alimony which is usually calculated based on income; and it would be a significant amount given his. She would be a dependent if she does not continue to work so in order to mitigate that risk he is insisting she continues to remain employed. Smart man !!!
It's sad how difficult things have become in the present generation. I was wondering how to utilise some money I had. I used some of it for e-commerce business, but that sank. I'm thinking of how to use what's left to invest, but I don't really know which way to go.
I understand how you feel. It's a little bit difficult to navigate things these days. You don't wanna lose whatever is left. I may suggest that you find a financial advisor who could give you thorough advice on how to go if you want to go the investment route. Also, the fact your business failed doesn't mean you should give up.
That's right. I have tried many failed businesses and it's just a step further. Don't despair. But to add, if you do decide to use a financial advisor, it's best you use someone who understands your special needs and can work with you. I learnt this from experience before finally finding one I can stick with. Now I make six figures from my investments alone, and even more from my businesses.
I agree, but they didn’t have the conversation, so have the conversation now. It is not too late. Maybe she didn’t know she would feel this way until now.
@@christian-gu5oq, Simps gonna Simp... They only have 1 kid. So she really won't be that busy.... If they had 4 or more kids, then sure, that would be a full time job. 1 kid, after getting out of diapers doesn't take that much time to care for.
Andrew Mattox What I said has nothing to do with being a simp. I’m simply looking at it financially and sensibly there is no reason for her to work. Your child’s first few years are the most important. Also, why pay a nanny that really makes her income minimal the guy in this situation isn’t using his brain.
Rod Thompson Plenty of stupid people earn millions. I don’t think he’s stupid he’s not making a financial decision. He just what he wants and some men want that just like some women refuse to not work.
Some people change their minds after the child is born. That happened with my asst boss. She never came back to the company but originally had every plan to do so.
I think she probably didnt and now that she's had a child she doesn't want to miss out. When I had my first child I didnt work for 6 months. Only reason I went back is because I was a single mom. I really hated putting my daughter in daycare and missed time with her
@@ElmoTinker im great now. At that time I moved to FL and was staying with family until I got a job. Moved in with a roommate for a year and then got my own place. Wanted more money so I moved back home to NJ. I co owned a home with family in NJ so I moved back into the house and got a job with the PO 7 months after moving back. Its been almost 7 years, have a second child but making enough to live comfortably and for my kids to have savings
I mean it's a show, not a courtroom and these people remain confidential. Dave is supposed to give advice on the information that he is given if he can't do that, when what's the point.
@@bighands69 one that makes 975 thousand dollars a year which means his children's futures are secure. She does not need to stay home and if he is out there doing the best he can to provide for his children then why shouldn't she? And don't worry about the children needing someone at home because the guy is probably a millionaire which means he can afford taking a few weeks to probably years off to spend time with his kids and the woman is not poor so she can afford it too. The children are fine. She just wants to exploit the husband.
As a married man here is what I would do if I had his income. I would let her stay at home with the kids and 5 years from now I would retire and be at home with her and the kids. With my standard of living I could easily reach FIRE in 5 years making $975,000 a year and that's after taxes.
I wonder if he really doesn’t like his job or feels very vulnerable because of the nature of the work. The money could be here today and gone tomorrow and he’s probably seen it happen.
Everyone thinks that they want to retire until they can. Then they find out how boring it is. It's really about being able to retire not necessarily actually doing it.
Had she told Dave that in addition to the $975K income that they had $10K in debt, Dave would have her continue working, picking up a second job, no more kids and living on rice & beans for a week until that debt was gone.
@@MzEllaful - And he likes to mix his religious beliefs in with finances as well. 👿👿 It's not your money, but gods money, you're just the manager of it. Nonsense!
A wife at home does more than just raise a child. She transfers values and culture, along with the father. This is desperately needed in today’s world.
This is what people CONTINUALLY overlook... one of the pillars of generational wealth is that wife and mother teaching those children the respect of the man and his values that have created the bulk of said wealth, and how to walk in said values. If someone is not home to do that, it does not, and generational wealth TENDS to be destroyed.
@@hymnodyhandsHow True. We need more ladies like this. And we need men who value the women who want to stay home. Restoring the family unit can transform a nation.
@@truebengalsfan This has nothing to do with feminism. Fenimism has always been about protecting women and eliminating situations that could harm women or make them vulnerable. It's when males and scrotes such as yourself, but of a different flavour whom we call "male feminists" co-opted the feminist movement to find new ways to exploit women, have we ended up in situations like this.
Shoot, my wife stays home and I make about $80K. (EDIT for the cheap seats, this is what I prefer - she's raising the kiddos and we live in a low cost of living area, we do really well with $80.)
As a stay at home mom I would like to thank you Dave I really didn't like the idea of staying home with my kids when my husband suggested it I always worked and my parents always made it clear never to dependent on another person but now I can't thank him enough I'm so greatful of having a hardworking husband who not only works for the family but also makes time to play and actually be a part of our lives not just a workaholic!
@@jamaelbaskerville4547 This has nothing to do with feminism. Fenimism has always been about protecting women and eliminating situations that could harm women or make them vulnerable. It's when males and scrotes such as yourself, but of a different flavour whom we call "male feminists" co-opted the feminist movement to find new ways to exploit women, have we ended up in situations like this.
@@jamaelbaskerville4547This makes no sense. Feminism = allowing women to pick the path they’re most happy with. Feminists support stay at home mums because they’re women.
Thank you for this! I wanted to be a stay at home mom as well and felt like a second class citizen and my husband was not on board.....I ended up starting a home daycare.. win win.
This makes no sense and there is stuff she didn’t say. Either he is insane or she is omitting something major. For example my sister in-law had the same problem with her husband. He makes 250k and she was complaining about him making her keep her job. When I asked he told me this. She has a house maid that comes and cleans the house 3 times per week. And she has a nanny that takes care of the baby. When I come home from work I help with the baby so what is she doing during the time am working. The maid cleans the house and the nanny leaves after I come home from work.
There's definitely a lot being left out on this call. As much as I love this show it always annoys me when people call in and presented an obviously biased picture
Casey J she tried to get my wife to help her with the baby when the husband stoped paying for the nanny and later on went back to her actuary job to pay for the nanny. They come from a very rich family and her mom never took care of them. It was the nannies that raised them.
@@lvluptoaverage52 But what was she doing when everyone else was cleaning the house and looking after the children? That's what the husband was complaining about and that's what I want to know now? 🤔
I stayed home with my kids. And my husband's friend said that I was dragging him down and members of his family said the same. But my husband said he wanted me to stay home and raise our children. And I believed our children deserve to be raised by me not a babysitter.
Funny how people ridicule women at home raising their children but don't ridicule someone having a stranger raising their kids. I would never be ok with other people raising my children or even teaching them. What a shame that other people have to do what women have neglected and abandoned to do!
I had a baby sitter for five hours of the day, but my mom and or dad was with me the rest of the day, and she was like a grand mother to me and I'm still friends with her grandkids. But my parents worked together, and both really loved their jobs. Babysitters can work for some, but in this case there's seriously no need for the mom to work! Why hire a babysitter when you can easily afford to have the mother stay home?
Love their answers! Full time motherhood certainly is a worthy job, and possibly the most important investment in another human's life! Mothers are not lower or less than their partners who get a physical paycheck for their life's work. There is great value in being a mother.
Not to mention the wife's time spent at home can save money and is worth something. The husband not having to do so much housework he can work harder, do better at his job. Not paying for childcare, knowing your child is with someone you trust. These things are worth something where the money should be shared
The problem is not financial. I have seen this before. Some men are like “if I have to work, so do you”. I dint care which one works and which one stays home, but if there is ANY way one parent can stay home, and raise your children. They should and they must. No ONE will love or care for your children the way a parent will.
As a man, I don't understand this whatsoever. I would gladly work enough so that my wife, whom I love, can stay home and raise our children. If I don't make enough and am struggling to make ends meet, then that's a different story.
how long do you need to stay home to raise the children? Also if she's just going to be hanging out with a kids all day with no ambition the guy is going to eventually fall out of love with her. Ramsay's wife was a pillar in the community. she stayed active.
He's worried I'll never go back to work....So? Yes that's a man right there! A real husband who has no chance of leaving his wife for all she has and continues to give him. Love that answer.
We really. Really. Need to hear his side. Married for a year? My guess he thinks she will then divorce him and claim she has a zero income and take him for all he is worth. Or he feels like she married him just so she could live off him and he feels like he was used. The reality is: they should have addressed kids and how they will he raised (especially with his income) in pre marriage counseling. My guess is they didn't. And now it comes up a year in and, well the guy makes 1 mil a year how would he not be wondering about this?
@@MicheleNichols2 I know he trusts her now, but people change. The same spouse you talk to before you have kids transforms( especially your wife) after having kids. You're honestly not dealing with the same person spiritually, mentally, and biologically. Marriages are made because you trust the person they are. prenups/ doubts are created for the different person they'll become. If that makes sense
@@MicheleNichols2 true but people change. Again we don't know his side. Considering his income I think fair to say we can't assume she is a complete victim.
I grew up in the 60’s and 70’s and was raised by a single father that worked full time (he had no choice) and was also a college student when I was in high school. I am one year older than my sister and had to take care of her all the time. I saw what other kids had with having a mother that stayed home (the norm back then) and was acutely aware of how different my situation was and how much more responsibilities and chores I had than my friends. For these reasons, I made sure I was in a stable MARRIAGE first and I stayed home to raise our son. Sometimes it pinched a bit living on one salary, but it made my husband into a great businessman and our son grew up with a mother at home. I am a widow now, but I had 40 great years with my husband and he was very responsible and a hard worker. Because of that, he left me not owing a penny to anyone and in good financial shape. I am thankful to him and especially to God.
This. Stable relationship first, THEN kids, with clear prospect of being a SAHM. Their relationship on this call is anything but stable if they are arguing about SAHM with a kid already in tow. That should have been figured out BEFORE marriage!
The man sees it to that’s why he wants her to have her own source of income so she wouldn’t tell the judge she doesn’t have income and make the man pay spousal support or more than needed
I LOVE that Dave acknowledged moms can’t win - they’re guilty if they work in the workplace and they’re guilty if they stay at home. So true, and nice to see a man acknowledging that. Now how do we fix it?!
Stop feeling guilty and go to work and shut your mouth. My mom work for 43 years and still working. She said she never felt guilty leaving her kids to go to work. Not that she doesnt love her kids, her kids mean the world to her and her kids turned out to be just fine. Be professional and stop complaining. The less you complain, the more you work hard. The more productive you will be in your work and family life.
@@secrets.295 This isn't about complaining about working. It is about the no win guilt that comes either way. If we work then we are guilted that we don't spend enough time with our kids, that we chose a job over our kids, that the babysitter and not us raised our kids, etc. However if we don't work we are called lazy and entitled women that sit at home all day, we are stereotyped as not having a life, looked down upon because we don't have a place in the secular world, talked about because we aren't supporting our family (especially if the family is making sacrifices so the mom can stay at home), etc. We are guilted and stereotyped either way. This isn't about working vs not working, it's about the fact that everyone should support whatever the mother's choice is, to work outside the home or be a stay at home mom, because they are equally important.
My wife stays home, but she doesn't feel like she's not doing anything; she thinks she's overworked! She's not totally wrong, she has six kids to raise and homeschool plus a huge house to keep up. But she does a really good job!
Homeschooling 6 children and taking care of meals, the house, etc? That job begins at 6:00am and ends at 10pm, with no vacation or sick leave!! Lol, good for her!!
That sounds more taxing and demanding than most jobs, but she sounds incredible. I couldn't do that by myself, I'd need an aunt or grandma or live-in nanny to help me.
Wth. She is overworked. I’d much rather work a simple predictable 9-5. Hire her a maid or a helper. Also why not send the kids to normal school? If you don’t let her rest she’s gonna leave.
I have been married for 25 years and my wife has not had any job for 17 years and we’re happy it’s not my money it’s Our money. Two children 19 and 17.
A true partnership, right? 🙌 I can't wrap my head around these men and women saying "give the kid to daycare...she will become lazy and obese if she stays home....she will cheat and take your money " our society is falling apart and I don't wonder why.
@@katrina3560 Truly. We're doomed if a woman staying home to raise her children and keep her home is controversial. But the silver lining is that most of these terrible comments are from bitter men, who statically don't make nearly enough money for them to be concerned with this decision. Many are living vicariously through this man's salary to exert their beliefs that the role of a mother is to be devalued and disrespected.
Nothing wrong with that as long as it's a "till death do us apart" type of marriage. I hope you make a lot cause if something happens to you, she'll need some money otherwise the lack of job experience on her part won't look good to employers.
@@katrina3560 Trust me when I tell you that a lot of the women in my generation are the kind of people to expect the man to literally do all the work. I’m talking about expecting the man to pamper her and treat her like a “queen” while she sits back with her only redeeming quality being her looks. Let’s be honest it’s partially because of the way they were raised. You guys are talking about old fashioned values where it’s expected to trust your spouse. It’s difficult to find someone you actually can nowadays. Y’all need to switch up your mindset to account for the now very high divorce rate which has been consistently on the rise since the 80s. I love some old fashioned values, but I think marriage should be a team effort. My generation doesn’t think like yours. My generation barely know what morals are honestly because they were never taught that it was even a factor they should take into account. This creates people who are entitled, lazy, and opportunistic at the expense of others. I just don’t understand why the older generations scrutinize us for how reality sadly is now when y’all are the ones that raised them to be this way. I’m all for accountability, but let’s be honest, how a child is raised greatly impacts how they turn out. Environmental factors do play a role for sure.
Prob doesn't want to be paying alimony later. 😆 I mean its also about what he wants too, maybe he thinks she should work and sacrifice like he does? Such as not getting time with the child as she does? Who knows?
Sounds like maybe he doesn't trust her 100% and that he feels she wants him for the money. That would explain why they waited so long to get married. My wife took off work until our kids were old enough to go to school. I dont see an issue with it since he makes so much money compared to her.
@Brendan unfortunately, marriage can be a lose or a win for anyone depending on who you marry. Many who think as you have just chosen the wrong person or are involved with ppl that don't want to put in the work for a successful marriage. We didn't get enough info, in my opinion, to determine that for this caller.
How sad! My husband has never made more than 40-ish- thousand a year, we had nine kids, but he ALWAYS allowed me to stay home. Now he makes even less. My teens and I have been able to provide childcare for another family, so I am now bringing in some income, but that was an opportunity that came to ME. We did not pursue it. We've lived paycheck to paycheck, but have no debt. I am now using the money for home repairs, and just started a bank account for saving for the future. I'm going to have to scramble, but I do NOT regret staying home. (And, yes- it was hard making ends meet, but my being home was important to us.)
@Dr. Johnny Sins That's f**ed up to assume that. People don't cheat as a result of having spare time, they cheat as a result of being an immoral person.
I know he didn't ask, but she's probably very attractive physically. More than likely he's afraid that if she stays home, she will let herself go and grow obese like so many other women do when they choose to stay home. He is not unreasonable in his thinking.
@@simeoda no because she never explained the full story. there's a reason to it. maybe his income isn't always going to be 950k. maybe if something happens to him and the wife has been out of work for a while, he doesn't want their lifestyle to be affected down the line. if they both can hire a nanny for 50K, they can save a lot for their future. it should be discussed internally and not like this. she seems like she's going behind his back for someone to take her side. i wouldn't be surprised if they end up breaking up lol
@Danbu Hsma full story means she never explained his side fully to why he doesn't want her to stay home because there's a reason to it. oh please i grew up in a 3rd world country, and most people hire house maids to raise their kids. people in the west don't actually hire someone unless they're wealthy. so idk why you say it western society lost its morals. this is a finance show. obviously they're good with money. she should be talking with someone else who can help.
@@JoeOf91 I agree with you, you can hire a house maid to do all the work. I think he doesnt see the value to keep her at home, since he can get any meal he wants at any time, most likely he doesnt want to eat pasta every day or frozen meals. Alos he can pay someone to wash his cloths, So really he doesnt see the benefit on her been at howuse wife because he can afford everything.
@@chiaraippoliti Watch kevin samuels he regularly has women on who make 100,000 - 200,000 They ALL want a man to make 350k+ BECAUSE they want to stop working
Oh man, my coworker and his wife made a deal back when they had their kids that she would go back to work after a certain period of time when their sons were old enough. Well, she never went to back to work and you can hear the resentment in his voice whenever he talks about it because she didn't hold up her end of the deal.
Making him out to be the villain and her the victim without asking for more details is very narrow-minded thinking. I respect your knowledge and wisdom, but there is clearly something much bigger going on here. Perhaps she is the helpless victim and he is the proverbial “Big bad wolf” or perhaps she is leaving some very important details that would completely change your perspective. I very much hate to say this, but feels like it crosses the line into pandering territory. Without asking more in-depth questions that require her to talk about how she’s contributed to this situation completely absolves her of any responsibility. I have yet to see any marriage or relationship of any kind, function when one side (or both) won’t take responsibility for their actions.
The other guy was trying to ask question, but Dave kept cutting him off. Felt like he was promoting his traditional values of a stay at home mom rather than digging into the present situation in any way. Wish we could have heard more from her.
Title is misleading. In marriage there is no "Let" (unless by force but that's abuse) it's a mutual decision that should be discussed and AGREED upon. If both parties can't agree then you don't do it.
@@ebonyburnette4211 Hmmmm I see what you're saying. But "let" is a strong word. People use that word when they don't get their way. Myself included. Sometimes I jokingly blame my wife when I don't get my way. But in reality what I want isn't in the best interest.
@Danbu Hsma the problem is she doesn’t EVER want to go back to work fool. She’s already on leave to take care of the child. Staying home for 5 years and staying home for the rest of your life are 2 completely different things.
I needed to hear what the hosts had to say. Mom guilt is totally a thing, I have degree in Mechanical Engineering and choose to stay home with my children. Sometimes my husband's family seems to look down on me because of it but they are right. Being a mom is a high calling.
Being a stay at home parent is good for a few years depending on how many kids and how old but most kids don’t need that much attention when they go to school etc.
@@ocvegasproperty exactly. The problem is people Start being stay at home and refuse to get back on the work force because they get lazy. Huge gap on resume don't help either
@@queenofdahouse1591 not untrue. But let's say she did change her mind after becoming a mother. Dude makes a mil a year. Well within his rights to wonder if she has changed and just wants to live off him and not work. Regardless of any of that. This is an objectively weird call. She is either leaving out a major piece of the disagreement or he is crazy.
@@queenofdahouse1591 no. an entitled, privileged woman can change her mind at birth. Let's be honest, it's one kid. Not a whole lot of raising going on especially after the kid starts school.
@@queenofdahouse1591Yeah, women have no accountability to live up to anything they agreed to do before marriage. Total double standard. If a man changed his mind and decided not to work full time after the birth of his child, no one would take his side.
Spot on. The costs are so much more than financial. I am grateful that my wife wanted to raise our children (even though I made about $920k less than this guy) when raising our little ones. It meant that we didn't get new furniture or travel to Europe etc. but the benefits of knowing we raised them and the relationship we have with them is beyond anything money could ever buy.
@@BlueDauntless She won't be making 90k anymore if she stays at home plus even if she was making 90k it is still risky once a judge hears stay at home and looks at his 975k salary he is screwed
Raising a child isn’t work? There’s more to life than finances, and they have plenty of that. It’s not about the money. There’s an image in his mind that they have to live up to. Unfortunately, they should have talked about this before they got marrried.
She's contributing to society by staying hometown dedicate her time and soul to raising a good human being, plus whatever other activities she gets involved in in her community. How can people not get this through their heads.
She does contribute, in a job that's 24/7 365 days a year. So you'd rather pay someone to watch your child, then investing in that's child's first five years?
You are so right! I had so much guilt working outside the house and I had my kids attend the daycare; it’s nice she has the choice she should follow her heart. 💕🥰
Canada has terrible divorce \ family laws. Once she establishes herself as a non working SAHM, she'll be able to take him for 600K a year between child support and spousal support.
I would much rather have my children being raised by their mom then some faceless humans at a daycare. I think there is a massive parental deficit in our society and I’m glad that there are women like her or my wife that are going against the grain to change it.
h_hill-mzy yea, I wasn’t aware of that aspect of family law until after five years into our marriage which was 3 years ago. I’m not gonna push my wife into the work force at the expense of our children’s well-being in order to hedge against that.
I think my wife worked for 6 months at the beginning of our 20+ year marriage. Why have someone else raise your kids and maintain your home when the wife can and wants to do so?
@@yamamancha well clearly we disagree. there are plenty of reasons a husband may want his wife to work. I'm sure you could guess at a couple good reasons. Blanket statements usually are worthless without full context.
@@Kevinschart Well, your first "trope" comment and "reasons men would wsnt their wives to work" seem miles apart to me. Of course there's reasons for a wife to work, but the point here is that if you have the means, you're better raising your kids yourself. And this especially true in the first 5-6 years before school. And while kids are in school until 3pm or so, there's something incredibly bonding about being there when they get home and being able to see them off in the morning. Those few hours make a world of difference in childhood development.
@@yamamancha it's a trope at this point. Unfortunately 2 income households are becoming a necessity. Try saving for college and retirement when you make 45k a year. There wasn't enough information shared about either of these people to really understand what's going on. I work at a jewelry company. 80% female employees. Very smart and talented ladies who happen to be good earners. They seem to have raised their kids just fine without staying at home. It's just not the end all be all that people try to make it out to be. It's simply a personal choice.
From experience.....You start dating, then the moment you get married she tells you she want to stay home and don’t want to work anymore, couple years down the line she ask for divorce, takes half of everything and put you on child support.
Raising your child to have morals, discipline, and overall how to be a good person, that is highly valuable. Any rational father would prefer that over the household having 10% more income. (husband making 10x what the wife was)
We have raised 4 children in Toronto quite nicely on about a 10th of your household income for more than 25 years now. I have no regrets about not going back to work full time. When I needed a challenge (volunteering, a little more income, intellectual stimulation, etc) an opportunity could always be found. I loved being able to be with my children growing up. It is not easy but as with all difficult things, worth it. Here's a funny story to inspire you: The Australian columnist, Angela Shanahan, was once introduced at a dinner party by her senior journalist husband to a pompous male twit. Said pompous twit asked her what she did and, when she replied that she was a full-time mother to her nine children, retorted 'Oh, my partner is far too intelligent to waste her life like that.' Quick as a flash, the wonderful Angela riposted 'Well, she didn't show much intelligence in her choice of husband, did she?'
@@leeche87 I was born in Africa. Africans do not have large families because children may die young. They have large families because family and not things are considered riches in their wise, old culture. Children are dying in Africa largely because of corruption.
If she's from Toronto their cost of living scale is on par with like California or New York. So 975k is not ludicrous money like the rest of the country
This is the kind subject that Ramsey can only comment but can’t make a call. It’s up to every couple. And the person we need to convince is not even in the room. This lady should have a good conversation with her husband. There are tones of reasons he may not welling to have a stay at home wife, and it’s not necessarily he is planning for a divorce.
For all the people saying "Her husband just doesn't want her to be a lazy trophy wife" has clearly never raised/taken care of children that much...the full time job that never ends, either you pay someone to take care of your kids or you do it yourself...there is no other options
Or could’ve not had kids in the first place. That’s what I did. I absolutely refuse to pay for someone else’s life And that’s also why I won’t ever get married
@@Gamebreaker08 Why not? The husband works 40 hours a week for a salary. The wife works 40 hours a week looking after the kids, saving the money otherwise used to pay for child care (which could easily add up to the 10s of thousands depending on number of kids). Then when each couple has finished their 40 hours of work, they split household and childcare duties. The children get the best care possible, neither parent is overstressed, win-win for everyone.
point being? Even if she made 1/10 of what he makes, which is still decent income, she would still be entitled to half. Relatively speaking, the difference is negligible. Sounds like he may be trying to be more her daddy than her hubby.
She married him for an easy life and money. She didn't tell him she wanted to be a mooch before hand because he would have told her to pound sand. Classic bait-and-switch maneuver by a woman. Now he will get dragged through the mud because of HER manipulation. This is why men should NEVER get married.
@@kiki11974 : There is NO benefit to getting married if you are a man. There is only risk. Look at it by the numbers: >50% of marriages end in divorce. 80% of divorces are initiated by the wife. 80% of men lose custody of their children in divorce. Almost 50% of men lose almost All contact with their children after divorce, yet are required to pay outrageous amounts in child support and/or alimony. Most men lose their homes in a divorce and must support their former spouse. Even if she is at fault. So why would a man get married?
Thank you Mr. Ramsey for acknowledging a woman's incredible career. Sounds like this dear woman's husband needs to go to the Scriture and find out his duty as provider and protector and acknowledge her place in the marriage as helpmate and teacher of her children.
![GEEK TIMË [OFFICIAL AUDIO]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/ry-6RvkH880/mqdefault.jpg)
![COLOMBIA vs. CHILE [4-0] | RESUMEN | ELIMINATORIAS SUDAMERICANAS | FECHA 10](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/TDjN4W3yy1k/mqdefault.jpg)
Sounds like he doesn’t want her to leave work so if/when they divorce, she cannot claim she was dependent on him. Guarantee you that is the reason.
And that would be a very good reason. First things first, he should have NEVER married her. She wants an easy ride and married into it. She wants to be a "stay at home mom". Okay. But I guarantee that with his income, she will be spending HIS money on things like maids or housekeepers and having food delivered while she sits on the couch watching talk shows and whines about how her life just isn't complete.
I REALLY hope there was a pre-nup. Because he's gonna need it.
@@justabill5780 I think they're in Canada. I just read an article the other day about how their tribunal court (or whatever they have up there) ruled that an *unmarried* man had to essentially pay his ex _girlfriend_ alimony, because regarddless that they didn't live together, they didn't own a house together, etc., the council still decided they were married because they were acting as a married couple - paperwork or not. Yeah...
@@GMNGChristian : Yup. I read about that too. Complete insanity that proves the cards are stacked against men.
@@justabill5780 😂 okay, but after they married, that was no longer just "HIS" money. And they should've had a conversation before they married, obviously.
@@neetrab which returns us to MY point. Men should NOT get married. It's a losing game.
I feel like Dave Ramsey is dealing more with relationship counseling issues than actual financial issues with a lot of his callers
He's literally not qualified to provide counseling, that's why his suggestions are often loaded with gender biases.
Agree they act like he should be a marriage counselor
Well, he has probably been the best thing that happened to my marriage! I'm glad he doesn't turn away callers who have relationship problems mixed into the financial!
Some ppl don’t seem to know the difference
Well, PERSONAL finance... Is precisely that... PERSONAL. It deals more with your personal behaviors than with financial formulas.
Growing up my Dads friend made over $300k back then it was a lot of money. His wife worked full time at a restaurant because she wanted to have her own income. Their daughter went to private school, and at 17 got a job in fast food. The father passed away when the daughter was in her 20’s she started partying and flying to night clubs on helicopters with the money she inherited. The mom still worked as a waitress because she liked people. They lived in a multi-million dollar home. The mom was always level headed. The daughter squandered her inheritance but found rich guys to bail her out. Now she’s 50 and no guys are coming to the rescue and she is completely broke. Humility goes a long way
she was setup to fail.
Jonathan Brandon how do you figure? They still made her work. None of it started until the father passed...
Wouldn’t she get another inheritance once the mother passes as well? But yes she was set up to fail.
Blaine Alanis how was she set up to fail? Doesn’t sound like she was given everything and they made her get a job. Sounds like notes to the story
@@coleautoclark4126 she did this after her father died. father probably made a deal and made her work and once she seen he die and got all the money. quit her job and party.
I do love that Dave Ramsey obviously loves his wife very much. You don’t hear men often speak of their wives so fondly.
So much that it clouds his judgement
@@sellmavYou sound SO bitter 😂
Sometimes abusers put on the biggest show in public
You must not have met a lot of decent husbands, then.
This woman is leaving a lot of details I'm 1000% sure there are more to it
Agree
Of course, she is not going to say why he doesn’t want to do that. 🤔they never ask her about his opinion
Agreed. They only been marry for a year and in a relationship for 7 years. Sounds like he is the boss.
Yes she is probably a cry baby who creates a lot of nonsense when she stays at home. This is not about money. She needs to work because she will probably be a bad stay at home mom.
@@bookcollection2883 I think you're going off of too little information to accurately use the term "probably." It's possible, but no way to say probable with any certainty.
It could possibly be that since he grew up with a mother who worked in the workforce, his view of the mother's role is to do the same. Maybe he feels he'd be taken advantage of if he's the only one earning money. And that could be trust issues on his part or a skewed view of healthy roles in marriage and parenthood. Again, no way to be certain or say what is probable in this case. Many possibilities.
Something tells me we aren't getting the entire story here.
Yes. Things just aren't adding up.🤔
Not necessarily. But the question is: is there something wrong with her staying home with a young child?
@Intelligent Thanos Obviously you've never taken care of children. You must be single or you don't have any or don't care how your children are raised. I think she made a mistake in marrying this man.
He thinks she will have a chad in the house taking his wife to pound town.
@@dakotalisa3893 That's the thing. There is nothing wrong with that. That is why there is probably something else. If one thing is not a problem, then something else must be.
I feel like this is something they should have discussed BEFORE getting married and having children.
it's not always cut & dry like that. I never thought i'd want to be a stay at home mom...until I had my child. even being pregnant, I had career goals & aspirations etc. Baby joins us & bam...all out the window. I would LOVE to be a SAHM with all my heart & would have TOTALLY planned differently to set that up had i known i'd feel this way.
I'm sure they did, but that never matters
I'd wager money there was a discussion and that he was clear how he felt about it before they got married. She was okay with it at the time but now she's changed her mind.
Ive met a few women who have said they would go back to work when they had kids and then quit their jobs after coming back from maternity leave
This caller's husband sounds very calculated. He was with her for 7 years prior to marrying her and still wants her to work. I am of the belief that he is concerned that in the event of a divorce he would be required to pay her spousal support/alimony which is usually calculated based on income; and it would be a significant amount given his. She would be a dependent if she does not continue to work so in order to mitigate that risk he is insisting she continues to remain employed. Smart man !!!
It's sad how difficult things have become in the present generation. I was wondering how to utilise some money I had. I used some of it for e-commerce business, but that sank. I'm thinking of how to use what's left to invest, but I don't really know which way to go.
I understand how you feel. It's a little bit difficult to navigate things these days. You don't wanna lose whatever is left. I may suggest that you find a financial advisor who could give you thorough advice on how to go if you want to go the investment route. Also, the fact your business failed doesn't mean you should give up.
That's right. I have tried many failed businesses and it's just a step further. Don't despair. But to add, if you do decide to use a financial advisor, it's best you use someone who understands your special needs and can work with you. I learnt this from experience before finally finding one I can stick with. Now I make six figures from my investments alone, and even more from my businesses.
Thank you for the advice. When you say financial advisor, are you talking about hedge funds? And how do I get in touch with one?
Rebecca Nassar Dunne is the licensed advisor I use. Just search the name. You’d find necessary details to work with to set up an appointment.
Thanks a lot for this suggestion. I needed this myself, I looked her up, and I have sent her an email. I hope she gets back to me soon.
Something is off about this call
She needs to keep that job because it seems she's going to be a single parent.
Why do you say that lol If she gets divorced she’d get child support and alimony
If she divorces she'll be FINE$$$$$
So true
Not trying to be negative but I agree!
Well said
Conversation should have been had prior to having a kid. But oh well.
Amen
I agree, but they didn’t have the conversation, so have the conversation now. It is not too late. Maybe she didn’t know she would feel this way until now.
@@Chris-tg3qy yup, you don't really know how it will be and how you feel about your kids until you have them.
It's so different after you have children.
Maybe they did have it, but she's back whining about it. She's a princess. AVOID.
Stay at home mom is an honorable and priceless gift to your family.❤❤❤
Let the husband call in and give his side.
Not a side dude earns 10x her income he needs to have some sense your wife spending time with your kids is key
He probably don't want to call in.
@@christian-gu5oq, Simps gonna Simp... They only have 1 kid.
So she really won't be that busy.... If they had 4 or more kids, then sure, that would be a full time job.
1 kid, after getting out of diapers doesn't take that much time to care for.
Andrew Mattox What I said has nothing to do with being a simp. I’m simply looking at it financially and sensibly there is no reason for her to work. Your child’s first few years are the most important. Also, why pay a nanny that really makes her income minimal the guy in this situation isn’t using his brain.
Rod Thompson Plenty of stupid people earn millions. I don’t think he’s stupid he’s not making a financial decision. He just what he wants and some men want that just like some women refuse to not work.
There's more to this story she probably spends 300k a year that's why
Definitely the case.
😂 Savage
Probably not his kid
@@goalie2998 could be the case. Good point
Dave kind of dropped the ball on this one, sure he makes close to 1 million a year but they probably live like they make 2 million a year.........
If she wanted to be a stay at home wife, shouldn't that discussion be held before they got married?
Some people change their minds after the child is born. That happened with my asst boss. She never came back to the company but originally had every plan to do so.
I think she probably didnt and now that she's had a child she doesn't want to miss out. When I had my first child I didnt work for 6 months. Only reason I went back is because I was a single mom. I really hated putting my daughter in daycare and missed time with her
@@chiaraippoliti you're right. circumstances can change
@@michellerichardson3090 oh wow how are you doing now?
@@ElmoTinker im great now. At that time I moved to FL and was staying with family until I got a job. Moved in with a roommate for a year and then got my own place. Wanted more money so I moved back home to NJ. I co owned a home with family in NJ so I moved back into the house and got a job with the PO 7 months after moving back. Its been almost 7 years, have a second child but making enough to live comfortably and for my kids to have savings
Plot twist: he’s secretly having relations with a girl named Porsche.
Very well could be true.
🤣🤣🤣
Lol
I'd get out the Punch-buggie...
😂
Husband doesn’t want to pay alimony if they divorce
Does he avoid paying alimony if she is consistently working ?
@@legalman07 yes
@@legalman07 No.
He makes 10x her income. He’s paying.
@@legalman07 no, but he will have to pay significantly less.
There has to be MUCH MORE to this story then what she is telling. We need to hear her husband’s side of the story. This makes absolutely no sense. 🤔
I bet she can't cook lol
@@airthrowDBT But even if she can’t cook, they have enough money to hire a chef and a maid if they wanted to.
@@Yawn54 then why wouldn't the husband marry the maid?
Sounds like she pinned a baby on him.
Could be he is a narcissitic abusive poo head and just is controlling.
That husband got dragged through the mud without getting the full story.
Yeah
I mean it's a show, not a courtroom and these people remain confidential. Dave is supposed to give advice on the information that he is given if he can't do that, when what's the point.
She would not be complaining about going out to work if it were not true. She clearly is having to go out to work. What sort of a husband is that?
@@bighands69 one that makes 975 thousand dollars a year which means his children's futures are secure. She does not need to stay home and if he is out there doing the best he can to provide for his children then why shouldn't she? And don't worry about the children needing someone at home because the guy is probably a millionaire which means he can afford taking a few weeks to probably years off to spend time with his kids and the woman is not poor so she can afford it too. The children are fine. She just wants to exploit the husband.
She's a shopaholic and probably drinks too much. If she worked before, she should work again. Nothing's wrong with earning your own money.
That brotha has the perfect voice for radio. Like Morgan freeman, James earl jones level.
He’s no longer on the show though & I wonder why....really liked him
@@Mimisams6 he cheated on his wife with a coworker and was fired
@@tyson1357 Oh no 😢
@@tyson1357 is that true?
@@CLINT-THE-GREAT yea I read it somewhere but he also spoke on it in an interview, you would have to look it up tho
Her: “he makes 975”
Ramsey: *confused look* “... what’s that mean?”
Lol I felt the same
Had I not seen the title I would’ve thought 9.75 an hour lol
😂😂😂
@@AlexGray minimum wage in Toronto is 14.25, but ya 9.75 wouldn’t be a livable wage here in Toronto
😂
@@_shubham_s $975 a week would have been the next guess
When Mercedes realizes she is just a Buick, LOL
Ha ha ha! Clever.
Probably a Yugo.
LOL
1970 Buick at that
😅😅😅🤣🤣
I smell a divorce coming, and she'll get her wish and won't be working after that.
I smell 600k in supousal support and child maintenance fee. Lol
And Dave will justify her laziness lol
@@SledgeHammer99 yeah he's a simp.
Scottish Clansman he called her staying home a “career” 🤦🏻♂️
HE SMART BRO PRENUP IS ALREADY THERE
This sounds like they need therapy not financial advise lol
Right
They don't need therapy for him to say "sure you can come home."
As a married man here is what I would do if I had his income. I would let her stay at home with the kids and 5 years from now I would retire and be at home with her and the kids. With my standard of living I could easily reach FIRE in 5 years making $975,000 a year and that's after taxes.
Yes!! I have no kids living at home and I work part-time so I can be the 'betty crocker' I want to be for my husband.
Man no kidding! Some of us work for 20 years just to make the money he makes in 1 😂😂 that would be my game plan too.
Heck I can retire after working one year on that income.
I wonder if he really doesn’t like his job or feels very vulnerable because of the nature of the work. The money could be here today and gone tomorrow and he’s probably seen it happen.
Everyone thinks that they want to retire until they can. Then they find out how boring it is. It's really about being able to retire not necessarily actually doing it.
Had she told Dave that in addition to the $975K income that they had $10K in debt, Dave would have her continue working, picking up a second job, no more kids and living on rice & beans for a week until that debt was gone.
😂😂😂😂
Actually he's very pro family and finance is second to children.
@@MzEllaful - And he likes to mix his religious beliefs in with finances as well. 👿👿 It's not your money, but gods money, you're just the manager of it. Nonsense!
@@tomm8025 If you think it's nonsense then why are you watching him??
@@schues317 Because sometimes nonsense is also entertaining to watch.
Caller: He makes 975?
Dave: what does that mean?
Caller: $9.75 an hour!
That's nothing I make £13.75 lol
😅😅😅😅
$975 a week
Lololollol
It's more honest. I don't believe this show at all.
"If you leave, I'm coming with you."🤣
Lmao that was gold
A wife at home does more than just raise a child. She transfers values and culture, along with the father. This is desperately needed in today’s world.
Amen.
This is what people CONTINUALLY overlook... one of the pillars of generational wealth is that wife and mother teaching those children the respect of the man and his values that have created the bulk of said wealth, and how to walk in said values. If someone is not home to do that, it does not, and generational wealth TENDS to be destroyed.
@@hymnodyhandsHow True. We need more ladies like this. And we need men who value the women who want to stay home. Restoring the family unit can transform a nation.
Absolutely right!! Bring mothers home and the world will change for the better.
Absolutely.
Dave is so right - motherhood is absolutely a HIGH CALLING. I loved how he emphasised the value and utmost worth regarding the role of a mother
Tell feminism that
@@truebengalsfan This has nothing to do with feminism. Fenimism has always been about protecting women and eliminating situations that could harm women or make them vulnerable. It's when males and scrotes such as yourself, but of a different flavour whom we call "male feminists" co-opted the feminist movement to find new ways to exploit women, have we ended up in situations like this.
Shoot, my wife stays home and I make about $80K. (EDIT for the cheap seats, this is what I prefer - she's raising the kiddos and we live in a low cost of living area, we do really well with $80.)
😭😭😭
Exactly. HE should be the one to stay home and raise the kid and she should be the one working to support them.
🙌
😂 That's Just...NORMAL!😁
Good man you’re kids will benefit from it
As a stay at home mom I would like to thank you Dave I really didn't like the idea of staying home with my kids when my husband suggested it I always worked and my parents always made it clear never to dependent on another person but now I can't thank him enough I'm so greatful of having a hardworking husband who not only works for the family but also makes time to play and actually be a part of our lives not just a workaholic!
Rejecting feminism
@@jamaelbaskerville4547 This has nothing to do with feminism. Fenimism has always been about protecting women and eliminating situations that could harm women or make them vulnerable. It's when males and scrotes such as yourself, but of a different flavour whom we call "male feminists" co-opted the feminist movement to find new ways to exploit women, have we ended up in situations like this.
Don’t work you shouldn’t eat! Work work work
@@jamaelbaskerville4547This makes no sense. Feminism = allowing women to pick the path they’re most happy with. Feminists support stay at home mums because they’re women.
@@jamaelbaskerville4547This makes no sense. Feminism = allowing women to pick the path they’re most happy with. They support stay at home mums.
Thank you for this! I wanted to be a stay at home mom as well and felt like a second class citizen and my husband was not on board.....I ended up starting a home daycare.. win win.
This makes no sense and there is stuff she didn’t say. Either he is insane or she is omitting something major. For example my sister in-law had the same problem with her husband. He makes 250k and she was complaining about him making her keep her job. When I asked he told me this.
She has a house maid that comes and cleans the house 3 times per week.
And she has a nanny that takes care of the baby. When I come home from work I help with the baby so what is she doing during the time am working. The maid cleans the house and the nanny leaves after I come home from work.
There's definitely a lot being left out on this call. As much as I love this show it always annoys me when people call in and presented an obviously biased picture
What was your sister in law's response? Lol
Casey J she tried to get my wife to help her with the baby when the husband stoped paying for the nanny and later on went back to her actuary job to pay for the nanny. They come from a very rich family and her mom never took care of them. It was the nannies that raised them.
@@lvluptoaverage52 But what was she doing when everyone else was cleaning the house and looking after the children? That's what the husband was complaining about and that's what I want to know now? 🤔
Casey J lol she has a somewhat famous blog. Takes pictures of clothes she models etc
I stayed home with my kids. And my husband's friend said that I was dragging him down and members of his family said the same. But my husband said he wanted me to stay home and raise our children. And I believed our children deserve to be raised by me not a babysitter.
Was it your choice to stay at home with your kids and your husband agreed to it?
Such love for his family - his wife and children
Funny how people ridicule women at home raising their children but don't ridicule someone having a stranger raising their kids. I would never be ok with other people raising my children or even teaching them. What a shame that other people have to do what women have neglected and abandoned to do!
Did you tell your husband's friend and his family to take a hike? This is nobody's business except yours and your husband's.
I had a baby sitter for five hours of the day, but my mom and or dad was with me the rest of the day, and she was like a grand mother to me and I'm still friends with her grandkids. But my parents worked together, and both really loved their jobs. Babysitters can work for some, but in this case there's seriously no need for the mom to work! Why hire a babysitter when you can easily afford to have the mother stay home?
Love their answers! Full time motherhood certainly is a worthy job, and possibly the most important investment in another human's life! Mothers are not lower or less than their partners who get a physical paycheck for their life's work. There is great value in being a mother.
Yes, it’s the hardest job I ever had in my whole life… and no money, no carrier, no vacations or day off … 24/7
Not to mention the wife's time spent at home can save money and is worth something. The husband not having to do so much housework he can work harder, do better at his job. Not paying for childcare, knowing your child is with someone you trust. These things are worth something where the money should be shared
Agreed. But this woman is getting ready to take it all
It's such a hard job that women view men as lazy when they are stay at home dads
I want to Hear the Husbands side First!!!
As a woman, I agree. There's more to it.
This sounds like a lie. Her name is Mercedes, and her husband makes $975k.
This sounds like truth to me. I live in Orange County. Porsche and Mercedes usually come from money.
That's because it is
fact is stranger than fiction. an age old saying.
@@Upsidedownamericanflag CUZ FICTION HAS TO MAKE SENSE! I love that saying
If he makes 300k a year what’s the difference? None more than enough money to live happy
The problem is not financial. I have seen this before. Some men are like “if I have to work, so do you”. I dint care which one works and which one stays home, but if there is ANY way one parent can stay home, and raise your children. They should and they must. No ONE will love or care for your children the way a parent will.
As a man, I don't understand this whatsoever. I would gladly work enough so that my wife, whom I love, can stay home and raise our children. If I don't make enough and am struggling to make ends meet, then that's a different story.
Fine. Then he should stay at home and take care of the house and kid.
how long do you need to stay home to raise the children? Also if she's just going to be hanging out with a kids all day with no ambition the guy is going to eventually fall out of love with her. Ramsay's wife was a pillar in the community. she stayed active.
They could BOTH stay home and raise their kids if they had any sense
I totally disagree.
He's worried I'll never go back to work....So? Yes that's a man right there! A real husband who has no chance of leaving his wife for all she has and continues to give him. Love that answer.
He's just afraid he'll end up with a lazy trophy wife. But obviously the story goes deeper than that.
Trophy’s aren’t lazy. Require a lot of maintenance.
@@lyric2439 ummm I guess?
@@lyric2439 if by maintance you mean money. Also time at the medispa and plastic surgeons office. Gym, nail and hair, tanning salons, lol.
Why is a woman lazy just because she wants to stay at home & raise their child?
@@ME-xe4sk I never said lazy stay at home mom. I said lazy trophy wife. I think his fear is irrational, and again we don't have all the details.
I like what Dave Ramsey tells his wife about leaving. Just about the best dam thing a man could ever say to his wife!
Jon Bon Jovi has been quoted as saying the same thing!
Dave would have a different opinion if she made 900,000 a year and he wanted to stay home.... he would say dump him and get a real man.
someone should make that call
Seen Dave several times supportive of stay at home dads. He doesn’t care as long as both sides are putting the work in.
No he wouldn't
I've heard him be supportive of dads over the years.
Exactly!
I love what Ramsey says about motherhood.
We really. Really. Need to hear his side.
Married for a year? My guess he thinks she will then divorce him and claim she has a zero income and take him for all he is worth.
Or he feels like she married him just so she could live off him and he feels like he was used.
The reality is: they should have addressed kids and how they will he raised (especially with his income) in pre marriage counseling.
My guess is they didn't. And now it comes up a year in and, well the guy makes 1 mil a year how would he not be wondering about this?
@@MicheleNichols2 I know he trusts her now, but people change. The same spouse you talk to before you have kids transforms( especially your wife) after having kids. You're honestly not dealing with the same person spiritually, mentally, and biologically. Marriages are made because you trust the person they are. prenups/ doubts are created for the different person they'll become. If that makes sense
C
Cc
@@MicheleNichols2 true but people change. Again we don't know his side. Considering his income I think fair to say we can't assume she is a complete victim.
I like your name Cornsnake!
@@mandysimmons2769 haha thanks
My love and appreciate goes out to all moms out there. We love you ❤️❤️❤️
Her name is Mercedes that's a red flag in itself...
Not in Canada with its stronger French influence...
@@hymnodyhands She's in Toronto, not Quebec.... Have you ever been to Toronto?
Mercedes used as a name is more Latin/Spanish. French don’t use it.
😂
lol
I grew up in the 60’s and 70’s and was raised by a single father that worked full time (he had no choice) and was also a college student when I was in high school. I am one year older than my sister and had to take care of her all the time. I saw what other kids had with having a mother that stayed home (the norm back then) and was acutely aware of how different my situation was and how much more responsibilities and chores I had than my friends. For these reasons, I made sure I was in a stable MARRIAGE first and I stayed home to raise our son. Sometimes it pinched a bit living on one salary, but it made my husband into a great businessman and our son grew up with a mother at home. I am a widow now, but I had 40 great years with my husband and he was very responsible and a hard worker. Because of that, he left me not owing a penny to anyone and in good financial shape. I am thankful to him and especially to God.
This. Stable relationship first, THEN kids, with clear prospect of being a SAHM. Their relationship on this call is anything but stable if they are arguing about SAHM with a kid already in tow. That should have been figured out BEFORE marriage!
Ok these humble brags are getting out of hand
Financial Lift celebrate other success
@@robellyosief8820 I mean, I'll celebrate anything if there's cake involved 🎂
@@financiallift6185 bars
Yeah you are right
You're welcome to not click. I love these lol
I see alimony and child support in their future.
The man sees it to that’s why he wants her to have her own source of income so she wouldn’t tell the judge she doesn’t have income and make the man pay spousal support or more than needed
He would pay child support and spousal maintenance regardless of her income.
It’s more beneficial for her to stay than to leave
JenniferPerry1988 says the woman.
Dr. Taurean Walker ????
I LOVE that Dave acknowledged moms can’t win - they’re guilty if they work in the workplace and they’re guilty if they stay at home. So true, and nice to see a man acknowledging that. Now how do we fix it?!
Who's fault is that?
And men get blamed for missing sports, unaware of their children's doctors, teachers, etc. Both sides give something up and make sacrifices
Stop feeling guilty and go to work and shut your mouth. My mom work for 43 years and still working. She said she never felt guilty leaving her kids to go to work. Not that she doesnt love her kids, her kids mean the world to her and her kids turned out to be just fine. Be professional and stop complaining. The less you complain, the more you work hard. The more productive you will be in your work and family life.
@@secrets.295 This isn't about complaining about working. It is about the no win guilt that comes either way. If we work then we are guilted that we don't spend enough time with our kids, that we chose a job over our kids, that the babysitter and not us raised our kids, etc. However if we don't work we are called lazy and entitled women that sit at home all day, we are stereotyped as not having a life, looked down upon because we don't have a place in the secular world, talked about because we aren't supporting our family (especially if the family is making sacrifices so the mom can stay at home), etc. We are guilted and stereotyped either way. This isn't about working vs not working, it's about the fact that everyone should support whatever the mother's choice is, to work outside the home or be a stay at home mom, because they are equally important.
You don't need to fix it, just live the way you want to and stop griping about how people you don't even know (maybe) perceive you.
My wife stays home, but she doesn't feel like she's not doing anything; she thinks she's overworked!
She's not totally wrong, she has six kids to raise and homeschool plus a huge house to keep up.
But she does a really good job!
Homeschooling 6 children and taking care of meals, the house, etc? That job begins at 6:00am and ends at 10pm, with no vacation or sick leave!! Lol, good for her!!
Hope you're fuc helping, they're your kids to and she's not your mum
That sounds more taxing and demanding than most jobs, but she sounds incredible. I couldn't do that by myself, I'd need an aunt or grandma or live-in nanny to help me.
Wth. She is overworked. I’d much rather work a simple predictable 9-5. Hire her a maid or a helper. Also why not send the kids to normal school? If you don’t let her rest she’s gonna leave.
“Not totally wrong” 💀 this lady has 6 full time jobs bruv
I have been married for 25 years and my wife has not had any job for 17 years and we’re happy it’s not my money it’s Our money. Two children 19 and 17.
A true partnership, right? 🙌 I can't wrap my head around these men and women saying "give the kid to daycare...she will become lazy and obese if she stays home....she will cheat and take your money " our society is falling apart and I don't wonder why.
Are they yours?
@@katrina3560 Truly. We're doomed if a woman staying home to raise her children and keep her home is controversial. But the silver lining is that most of these terrible comments are from bitter men, who statically don't make nearly enough money for them to be concerned with this decision. Many are living vicariously through this man's salary to exert their beliefs that the role of a mother is to be devalued and disrespected.
Nothing wrong with that as long as it's a "till death do us apart" type of marriage. I hope you make a lot cause if something happens to you, she'll need some money otherwise the lack of job experience on her part won't look good to employers.
@@katrina3560 Trust me when I tell you that a lot of the women in my generation are the kind of people to expect the man to literally do all the work. I’m talking about expecting the man to pamper her and treat her like a “queen” while she sits back with her only redeeming quality being her looks. Let’s be honest it’s partially because of the way they were raised. You guys are talking about old fashioned values where it’s expected to trust your spouse. It’s difficult to find someone you actually can nowadays. Y’all need to switch up your mindset to account for the now very high divorce rate which has been consistently on the rise since the 80s. I love some old fashioned values, but I think marriage should be a team effort. My generation doesn’t think like yours. My generation barely know what morals are honestly because they were never taught that it was even a factor they should take into account. This creates people who are entitled, lazy, and opportunistic at the expense of others. I just don’t understand why the older generations scrutinize us for how reality sadly is now when y’all are the ones that raised them to be this way. I’m all for accountability, but let’s be honest, how a child is raised greatly impacts how they turn out. Environmental factors do play a role for sure.
There is more to the story.
Haha right Kalsi
What other questions do you think need to be asked?
She is probably the spender in the relationship. And so he is worried she will get bored and spend a bunch of money
@@kingcap9928 Dave is doing great work. It will better, if we get both side of stories.
Prob doesn't want to be paying alimony later. 😆
I mean its also about what he wants too, maybe he thinks she should work and sacrifice like he does? Such as not getting time with the child as she does? Who knows?
Sounds like maybe he doesn't trust her 100% and that he feels she wants him for the money. That would explain why they waited so long to get married. My wife took off work until our kids were old enough to go to school. I dont see an issue with it since he makes so much money compared to her.
Exactly and he has already made the decision to marry her. Therefore, if that is his worry then he has already made a mistake.
But he trusts total strangers to raise his infant? pfftt. Money over his childs safety. He's not some noble victim.
@Brendan unfortunately, marriage can be a lose or a win for anyone depending on who you marry. Many who think as you have just chosen the wrong person or are involved with ppl that don't want to put in the work for a successful marriage. We didn't get enough info, in my opinion, to determine that for this caller.
@Brendan Yep, its ESPECIALLY bad in Canada. She's gonna take him for 600K+ a year by the time this is all over.
I feel like he is telling her that she isn't attractive enough for him....
How sad! My husband has never made more than 40-ish- thousand a year, we had nine kids, but he ALWAYS allowed me to stay home.
Now he makes even less. My teens and I have been able to provide childcare for another family, so I am now bringing in some income, but that was an opportunity that came to ME. We did not pursue it.
We've lived paycheck to paycheck, but have no debt.
I am now using the money for home repairs, and just started a bank account for saving for the future.
I'm going to have to scramble, but I do NOT regret staying home.
(And, yes- it was hard making ends meet, but my being home was important to us.)
❤wonderful
Children are that important.
He's probably worried she'll get bored and cheat.
Thats what happened to my friends, tinder makes it super easy
@Dr. Johnny Sins That's f**ed up to assume that. People don't cheat as a result of having spare time, they cheat as a result of being an immoral person.
No he’s worried she’ll have too much time on her hands bc he is cheating.
I know he didn't ask, but she's probably very attractive physically. More than likely he's afraid that if she stays home, she will let herself go and grow obese like so many other women do when they choose to stay home. He is not unreasonable in his thinking.
Statistically she probably already is.
This woman is up to something it’s too fishy, I don’t trust this lady.
Because she wants to raise her child??
@@simeoda no because she never explained the full story. there's a reason to it. maybe his income isn't always going to be 950k. maybe if something happens to him and the wife has been out of work for a while, he doesn't want their lifestyle to be affected down the line. if they both can hire a nanny for 50K, they can save a lot for their future. it should be discussed internally and not like this. she seems like she's going behind his back for someone to take her side. i wouldn't be surprised if they end up breaking up lol
@Danbu Hsma full story means she never explained his side fully to why he doesn't want her to stay home because there's a reason to it. oh please i grew up in a 3rd world country, and most people hire house maids to raise their kids. people in the west don't actually hire someone unless they're wealthy. so idk why you say it western society lost its morals. this is a finance show. obviously they're good with money. she should be talking with someone else who can help.
@@JoeOf91 I agree with you, you can hire a house maid to do all the work. I think he doesnt see the value to keep her at home, since he can get any meal he wants at any time, most likely he doesnt want to eat pasta every day or frozen meals. Alos he can pay someone to wash his cloths, So really he doesnt see the benefit on her been at howuse wife because he can afford everything.
I noticed he never once asked about how much debt they have lol. He just assumed they were debt free.
@Your President How do you know who’s paying or paid off the debt? She makes 90K/year. That’s good, too!
@@chiaraippoliti Good point. 90 k a year is pretty good. That's a lot.
I also thought about how much debt each one of them brought into the marriage. I.e. is she sitting on six figures worth of student loans.
@@chiaraippoliti Watch kevin samuels he regularly has women on who make 100,000 - 200,000 They ALL want a man to make 350k+ BECAUSE they want to stop working
I feel like he left a lot of questions dangling out there in the wind.
She must have a spending problem because this makes no sense.
He wants the judge to know that she has always had a job.
lol Facts.
Well, instead, he should be providing for his family, This is the problem with men, thinking about divorce already rather than the newborn child
But they live in Canada. His after tax income is 100k.
Lol sad but true... 😭
That’s so true !!!!
@@Meowthatsright I am also a Canadian, but you know this is true... lol
@@Meowthatsright Canada rules except when it doesn’t.
It's not that bad! But still pretty bad... his avg rate is around 50%.
He wants her to work because just in case she leaves, she can’t get his money. He think she wants him for the money.
That was my thought. And why aren't they married? Something going on behind the scenes
Or he is a miser.
Leslie Pressley idk two incomes is better than one but if he can afford it, why not.
She does. She had this plan all along. She calls the shots now.
Jolaade Adebayo perhaps. Can’t rule out all possibilities
I love Dave's responses!
It seems like people call in just to brag about how much they make. None of this makes sense.
I agree. I literally said the same thing.
not how much they make it’s how much he makes.
Totally agree! She feels like she needs to call Dave to figure this out? Give me a freakin break! Complete show off!
0:20 she says "KINDA be a stay at home mom". Yeah, there's something she's not saying.
Yea I think it’s a marriage for money
She "KINDA" wants to receive a $500K annual salary for child support and alimony
She knew all along that she would forever not have to work a job once they had kids 😂😂
She was patient, like a spider. She played the long game.
@@smartcookie3500 lol
Oh man, my coworker and his wife made a deal back when they had their kids that she would go back to work after a certain period of time when their sons were old enough. Well, she never went to back to work and you can hear the resentment in his voice whenever he talks about it because she didn't hold up her end of the deal.
I couldn't let my kid be raised by a nanny. My wife is a full time mom and I wouldn't want it any other way
It's not what you want it's what *she* want.
@@tkdevlop same with her obviously
Making him out to be the villain and her the victim without asking for more details is very narrow-minded thinking. I respect your knowledge and wisdom, but there is clearly something much bigger going on here. Perhaps she is the helpless victim and he is the proverbial “Big bad wolf” or perhaps she is leaving some very important details that would completely change your perspective. I very much hate to say this, but feels like it crosses the line into pandering territory. Without asking more in-depth questions that require her to talk about how she’s contributed to this situation completely absolves her of any responsibility. I have yet to see any marriage or relationship of any kind, function when one side (or both) won’t take responsibility for their actions.
The other guy was trying to ask question, but Dave kept cutting him off. Felt like he was promoting his traditional values of a stay at home mom rather than digging into the present situation in any way. Wish we could have heard more from her.
Title is misleading. In marriage there is no "Let" (unless by force but that's abuse) it's a mutual decision that should be discussed and AGREED upon. If both parties can't agree then you don't do it.
👏
Although, I agree, by your definition the title is correct. He doesn't agree on the matter therefore he won't let her be a stay at home mom.
It's a business partnership as much as it's love and affection. It's also time for people to grow up and get real about the future.
@@ebonyburnette4211 Hmmmm I see what you're saying. But "let" is a strong word. People use that word when they don't get their way. Myself included. Sometimes I jokingly blame my wife when I don't get my way. But in reality what I want isn't in the best interest.
@@AnOriginalRUclipsr Agreed. That goes for any relationship too!
I want to hear the husband's story
I love the Ramsey Show for all the help provided to families and help to keep them together.
He’s playing his cards the right way. Definitely some missing pieces to this puzzle lol
@Danbu Hsma the problem is she doesn’t EVER want to go back to work fool. She’s already on leave to take care of the child. Staying home for 5 years and staying home for the rest of your life are 2 completely different things.
I needed to hear what the hosts had to say. Mom guilt is totally a thing, I have degree in Mechanical Engineering and choose to stay home with my children. Sometimes my husband's family seems to look down on me because of it but they are right. Being a mom is a high calling.
Being a stay at home parent is good for a few years depending on how many kids and how old but most kids don’t need that much attention when they go to school etc.
@@ocvegasproperty exactly. The problem is people Start being stay at home and refuse to get back on the work force because they get lazy. Huge gap on resume don't help either
Ask about her SPENDING HABITS! If she’s careless with HIS money, she needs a job to support her habits.
This is exactly what needed to happen.
His money? They're married and have a kid. It's their money. If you don't want to share don't get married and have children.
Amen
@@eelsify no it's not. There's a limit to that. He's her husband, not her sugar daddy. He should only provide to his kids. Period
@@eelsify his not their money, I love my wife but is my money lol
There’s a spending problem in this relationship , someone is trying to keep it under control.
Exactly
I bet if the husband said this, Dave would tell him to match that income.
Smilybacon yep
Dave is a big proponent of gender roles
I SWEAR
Dave would've told the man he is a deadbeat and needs to provide for his family. Dave is barely a man.
I see him replacing her
He should have asked, did you two discuss this before you were married.
A woman can change her mind after birth. NO ONE knows that until they become a Mother.
@@queenofdahouse1591 not untrue.
But let's say she did change her mind after becoming a mother. Dude makes a mil a year. Well within his rights to wonder if she has changed and just wants to live off him and not work.
Regardless of any of that. This is an objectively weird call. She is either leaving out a major piece of the disagreement or he is crazy.
@@queenofdahouse1591 no. an entitled, privileged woman can change her mind at birth. Let's be honest, it's one kid. Not a whole lot of raising going on especially after the kid starts school.
@@queenofdahouse1591Yeah, women have no accountability to live up to anything they agreed to do before marriage. Total double standard. If a man changed his mind and decided not to work full time after the birth of his child, no one would take his side.
@@carultch Motherhood is about nurturing a child. Fatherhood is about providing for a child. Today’s roles get blurry.
Being a stay at home mom is the most important and best thing I have ever done!
If he saw the costs involved in daycare, not just finances, but actually losing input on how their child is raised, perhaps that might help.
Spot on. The costs are so much more than financial. I am grateful that my wife wanted to raise our children (even though I made about $920k less than this guy) when raising our little ones. It meant that we didn't get new furniture or travel to Europe etc. but the benefits of knowing we raised them and the relationship we have with them is beyond anything money could ever buy.
@Rikki Jo the point is her working wouldn’t be helping him financially all that much. It was a comparison of the scenarios.
He is worried about divorce! If she divorces while staying at home he will be on the hook for alimony spousal support for a long time
@@Dhuxul9She makes $90k…. She can support herself if they divorce. And he should pay child support because that’s HIS child.
@@BlueDauntless She won't be making 90k anymore if she stays at home plus even if she was making 90k it is still risky once a judge hears stay at home and looks at his 975k salary he is screwed
In other words, he thinks she was using him for his money and is now calling her bluff. Why shouldn't she work? Why shouldn't she contribute?
Raising a child isn’t work? There’s more to life than finances, and they have plenty of that. It’s not about the money. There’s an image in his mind that they have to live up to. Unfortunately, they should have talked about this before they got marrried.
She's contributing to society by staying hometown dedicate her time and soul to raising a good human being, plus whatever other activities she gets involved in in her community. How can people not get this through their heads.
She does contribute, in a job that's 24/7 365 days a year. So you'd rather pay someone to watch your child, then investing in that's child's first five years?
@@boxesbinslidsllc Not really. I have a cat. She is a self important princess and might scratch someone's eyes out if I leave her with a babysitter.
"If you leave I'm coming with you."
😂😂😂
You are so right! I had so much guilt working outside the house and I had my kids attend the daycare; it’s nice she has the choice she should follow her heart. 💕🥰
I would like to hear, WHY he doesn't want her to stay home.
Canada has terrible divorce \ family laws. Once she establishes herself as a non working SAHM, she'll be able to take him for 600K a year between child support and spousal support.
@@noname-oe9jy dang! Sign me up!! Just kidding!!
Because its disgusting to be in a relationship with a woman that doesnt work :) It's really not that weird.
Doesn’t want her to be lazy and he’s protecting himself. A kid with a rich man shouldn’t be a golden ticket.
@@ceecee8757 "Just Kidding" No you're not, we all know it ;)
I would much rather have my children being raised by their mom then some faceless humans at a daycare. I think there is a massive parental deficit in our society and I’m glad that there are women like her or my wife that are going against the grain to change it.
yea until they divorce u and take half ur things
h_hill-mzy yea, I wasn’t aware of that aspect of family law until after five years into our marriage which was 3 years ago. I’m not gonna push my wife into the work force at the expense of our children’s well-being in order to hedge against that.
h_hill-mzy everything earned during marriage is joint property.
@@found_my_chapstick190 He also takes half of her things.
Faceless are they an AI?
dude messed up when he got married even more so when her name is mercedes.
Really wish I had guys like these two as father/man examples coming up...
I think my wife worked for 6 months at the beginning of our 20+ year marriage. Why have someone else raise your kids and maintain your home when the wife can and wants to do so?
kids are in school all day...this "raising your kids" trope is not reality.
@@Kevinschart There's so many things I disagree on with that attitude I don't know where to begin.
@@yamamancha well clearly we disagree. there are plenty of reasons a husband may want his wife to work. I'm sure you could guess at a couple good reasons. Blanket statements usually are worthless without full context.
@@Kevinschart Well, your first "trope" comment and "reasons men would wsnt their wives to work" seem miles apart to me.
Of course there's reasons for a wife to work, but the point here is that if you have the means, you're better raising your kids yourself.
And this especially true in the first 5-6 years before school.
And while kids are in school until 3pm or so, there's something incredibly bonding about being there when they get home and being able to see them off in the morning.
Those few hours make a world of difference in childhood development.
@@yamamancha it's a trope at this point. Unfortunately 2 income households are becoming a necessity. Try saving for college and retirement when you make 45k a year. There wasn't enough information shared about either of these people to really understand what's going on. I work at a jewelry company. 80% female employees. Very smart and talented ladies who happen to be good earners. They seem to have raised their kids just fine without staying at home. It's just not the end all be all that people try to make it out to be. It's simply a personal choice.
From experience.....You start dating, then the moment you get married she tells you she want to stay home and don’t want to work anymore, couple years down the line she ask for divorce, takes half of everything and put you on child support.
NOT THE POINT. SHE CAN BECOME A BLOGGER OR RUN AN ONLINE BUSINESS DURRRR FROM HOME
@@iammade7818 Ahh yes a blog that earns 450,000 yearly? It is the point
Raising your child to have morals, discipline, and overall how to be a good person, that is highly valuable. Any rational father would prefer that over the household having 10% more income. (husband making 10x what the wife was)
Exactly
My mother did that working full time and running a small business.
working keeps your mind sharp. nothing's wrong with that
Maybe he’s worried if his wife stays home he will come home to little innocent Mercedes getting railed by Gerald from down the street
I think it was a staged call.
what is getting railed mean?.....oh my...you mean?
@krvnjrcbs
Bruh😂
Geralt would come in the double dutch bus...
Well if that’s the case, he shouldn’t be married to her at all lol. Why is he with a woman he would doubt so much? Ridiculous
We have raised 4 children in Toronto quite nicely on about a 10th of your household income for more than 25 years now. I have no regrets about not going back to work full time. When I needed a challenge (volunteering, a little more income, intellectual stimulation, etc) an opportunity could always be found. I loved being able to be with my children growing up. It is not easy but as with all difficult things, worth it. Here's a funny story to inspire you: The Australian columnist, Angela Shanahan, was once introduced at a dinner party by her senior journalist husband to a pompous male twit. Said pompous twit asked her what she did and, when she replied that she was a full-time mother to her nine children, retorted 'Oh, my partner is far too intelligent to waste her life like that.' Quick as a flash, the wonderful Angela riposted 'Well, she didn't show much intelligence in her choice of husband, did she?'
Nine kids is reasonable only in africa where some of them would die before turning five
@@leeche87 I was born in Africa. Africans do not have large families because children may die young. They have large families because family and not things are considered riches in their wise, old culture. Children are dying in Africa largely because of corruption.
I swear she called just to flex lol
So true
Right... "Mercedes"... Sounds like a stripper name.
Stop flexing, start investing
If she's from Toronto their cost of living scale is on par with like California or New York. So 975k is not ludicrous money like the rest of the country
This is the kind subject that Ramsey can only comment but can’t make a call. It’s up to every couple. And the person we need to convince is not even in the room. This lady should have a good conversation with her husband. There are tones of reasons he may not welling to have a stay at home wife, and it’s not necessarily he is planning for a divorce.
For all the people saying "Her husband just doesn't want her to be a lazy trophy wife" has clearly never raised/taken care of children that much...the full time job that never ends, either you pay someone to take care of your kids or you do it yourself...there is no other options
Or could’ve not had kids in the first place. That’s what I did. I absolutely refuse to pay for someone else’s life
And that’s also why I won’t ever get married
That's fair, but then a lot of women want the husband to take on their duties when they get off work. It doesn't work like that.
It ends when they start school. Why you think "wine moms" is a thing?
@@Gamebreaker08 Why not? The husband works 40 hours a week for a salary. The wife works 40 hours a week looking after the kids, saving the money otherwise used to pay for child care (which could easily add up to the 10s of thousands depending on number of kids). Then when each couple has finished their 40 hours of work, they split household and childcare duties. The children get the best care possible, neither parent is overstressed, win-win for everyone.
It's such a tough job that majority of women view men as lazy if they were stay at home dads
she does not want to work but i'm sure she wants half of the assets when they separate !
you can take that to the bank !
point being? Even if she made 1/10 of what he makes, which is still decent income, she would still be entitled to half. Relatively speaking, the difference is negligible. Sounds like he may be trying to be more her daddy than her hubby.
To Dave’s point raising kids IS hard work.
@Rikki Jo oh rikki jo, there are laws in this country, and I suggest you check em before spouting off your feelings as fact. 😉
That's the reason why most men are not getting married anymore
@@Phyoomz
In other words..... Get a job
This should have been discussed before marriage and before having children!!!!!
Doris Grainger Amen
She married him for an easy life and money. She didn't tell him she wanted to be a mooch before hand because he would have told her to pound sand. Classic bait-and-switch maneuver by a woman. Now he will get dragged through the mud because of HER manipulation.
This is why men should NEVER get married.
Justa Bill There’s nothing wrong with getting married, but people need to be up front about what they want and don’t want.
@@kiki11974 : There is NO benefit to getting married if you are a man. There is only risk. Look at it by the numbers:
>50% of marriages end in divorce.
80% of divorces are initiated by the wife.
80% of men lose custody of their children in divorce.
Almost 50% of men lose almost All contact with their children after divorce, yet are required to pay outrageous amounts in child support and/or alimony.
Most men lose their homes in a divorce and must support their former spouse. Even if she is at fault.
So why would a man get married?
Justa Bill ok I’ll give you that, but that’s where a prenup comes in handy. Kids aside, everyone leaves with what they brought to the table
Thank you Mr. Ramsey for acknowledging a woman's incredible career. Sounds like this dear woman's husband needs to go to the Scriture and find out his duty as provider and protector and acknowledge her place in the marriage as helpmate and teacher of her children.
Yea until yall are crying for equality, and if they divorce he has to pay her a fortune bc that's fair right???