7-Refusing to date you, plays online all night 8-He knows you do not have an Ankle reflex anymore, and your spinal bones grind together when you walk but he still tells you to Jog all the time. 9-He wont hang out because he doesnt like your body 10-He is only happy with you when you leave him.
Went through this because I my first ever relationship ended, and I didn’t realize how obsessed I was until after the breakup. Definitely learned my lesson
Unfortunately I was the one who had to learn to distinguish between obsession and caring. Then got a dose of it in a future relationship. Just need to accept that our partner is, and forever will be, an entity separate from ourselves. Enjoy the time together, maintain healthy hobbies and activities that sustain it, but don't stress worrying about an end date to those activities or we'll be the architect of their conclusion.
I'm afraid of this being me. So I tend to pull away when I'm afraid of getting too close or when I think I may hurt the other person. Love was really rare when I was growing up. I'm afraid of losing it. But I desperately crave it
Same! It's hard to know what to do. But I try to keep it in perspective: real love lets that person be free and be their best selves, not under pressure. That is how I feel around my special someone, and I hope they feel the same way around me.
i'd like to date people like this. i dont know. im pretty obsessive but crave love and comfort from another. i want to date someone whos more confident than me,,
I completely understand most people in the beginning of a relationship, go through an infatuation phase with there partner but after that rush wheres's down, the relationship, might start to become more boring also because you're in your first part of the relationship or just in the first relationship in general, you might be more clingy to your partner, which is another sign of unhealthy/obsessive love because you have not experienced enough relationships to set healthy boundaries with your partner
I figured it out on my own that I have this towards my partner and I actively try to not have it. But man is it hard. I'm getting there slowly but surely, thank goodness. This video confirmed my fears about myself and confirmed one thing I need to keep working on.
Sometimes I fear this is me because I've had the same crush for years but I know personally what's it like to be controlled so I don't really care to control them because that's not what someone does when they really like them. Glad to know that I'm not hurting them though.
@@SharpBalisong I suppose we can call ourselves that. We don't talk really and I feel like we're both trying to react on how we believe the other one sees us. Like entirely based on assumptions but as of now we're both doing our own thing
I love my girlfriend but shes checked off pretty much all the boxes and even she knows shes very obsessive. Her obsession has gone as far as her overdosing because our relationship was pretty rocky at that point in time. she even openly admitted that she would kill herself if we broke up and not in a joking matter either. shes even gone as far as telling me basically that she wants me all to her self and she doesn't want anyone else to talk to me or be friends with me. I talk to her about eight hours a day until 1 or 2 am even then sometimes she doesn't let me sleep and if I do she gets mad at me. I just don't know what to do I want to make it work I really love this girl. (we've been together for almost 5 months now) (theirs a lot more to write about but this is all I have for now)
I had the exact thing happen to me, although we were dating, not in a relationship. And then one day it switched. She became distant, cold, and would hang out with other guys while still claming to love me. That messed me up pretty bad
Just wanted to tell you you arent resposible for another person's emotions or actions(even if they are your gf) and to ask you to take care of your health, mental and physical. You deserve to be comfortable in your relationship and to have healthy boundaries.
Pretty much right after I commented this my girlfriend asked me if I would be ok with having a camera watch me 24/7 and being tracked wherever I went and audio recording me 24/7. To which I responded with I think you need to dial it down a little bit. I understand you want to see me and hear me but after a certain extent it becomes weird I honestly feel like your more of a stalker than my girlfriend right now. I know how you are but this is just a complete violation of privacy if I were going to do this. I just feel like I have to tell you this because if I don't things will only get worse and you will become more obsessed. I'm not mad at you i just want you to change for the better of this relationship and just for yourself as well. I'll be with you every step of the way. I know you mean well but its gotten to the point that I have to tell you its not ok to even be thinking about doing this. I love you (her name).
@@AkayRoblox im not sure how old you guys are, or how long you've been dating, but if she's able, she definitely needs therapy. I was in a relationship with someone for 3 years where we would be literally 24/7 in a skype call everyday before and after school, even when sleeping, with cameras on. and while part of me was glad that someone actually loved me that much to want to be around me all the time, it massively hindered me trying to find my own identity or even how to socialize with other people. It was like we ended up fusing into one person. it got to a point where i wasn't able to spend time with my family without them there. Stuff like this can slowly escalate to the point where you're completely co-dependent.
I always try to share my thoughts and feelings with my girlfriend, she's my best friend. Always ask her what she's doing (not really always, but like, once in a while) in a way of getting something to talk about. I think I'm scared of the end of the honeymoon phase though. Actually, I think it already ended for her, but for me it comes and goes. We've been together for nine months, but till now things are doing great. If you got here thank you for your time and patience.
My girlfriend and I have been on a relationship for seven months now. We see each other everyday as we live close by and we both enjoy being a bit too sweet to each other. She went on vacation with her family three weeks ago and the second week she was out I had a really bad time. I want her to enjoy the trip and I understand we both have our family plans and obligations but I just couldn’t help to feel really bad. In a way I had been looking forward to spending the Holiday Season with my girlfriend and more because this is my time off from work, and I had stuff planned and suddenly it all faded away. We chat a lot and last week sometimes I’d get angry for no reason or extremely sad. I’m wondering if maybe it is obsessive love. And again, I believe I understand that there has to be space and the logics of it but my insides hurt. This week has been better, I am enjoying my time alone and doing stuff, sometimes I get sad or frustrated. Thanks for the video
That is a really good thought provoking question. What you do in any relationship, whether romantic or as friends, is far more meaningful then what is going on in the theater of your head so it is good to separate the two and find self-affirming avenues to ease the troubled mind. It may seem impossible at first but can be a great benefit if you build that interdependence and find a good balance. After a long time building that rapport with multiple people I've found that it can quickly get annoying when either grief or lust/love is the only subject brought up in casual/text conversations or is the only thing keeping the relationship going. Love is the reason relationships start but only provides enough fuel to launch the relationship. It isn't enough to keep a relationship going, you also need communication and a solid foundation of trust. But does this mean love is pointless? Not at all. Think of love as sweet foods, great for a quick burst of energy but unhealthy if overindulged on. They give more strength and meaning to healthy relationships if done in intervals and without expectation. The best thing that can be done if you have things you want to get off your chest is to create a judgement-free neutral space for you and your partner to communicate feelings. Sadly not everyone does this and those unheard emotions can build up over time so a relationship therapist should be consulted in the event that they are putting your emotional needs on a shelf. I know this because my parents had marriage counseling and have been together for 43 years through many stages of their lives. Even when times were difficult they always found time to talk about their physical/emotional needs and forgive each other.
It’s probably withdrawal symptoms from the oxytocin, dopamine and serotonin cocktail you were regularly getting from being around your partner. Your second week apart was likely when your hormones stabilized. It’s good that you are aware of a need for a little time and space apart.
Thank you for this video! And for the many others. I kinda knew that there is a problem with me, but it was lingering just under conscious level and destructing my life. Thanks to you guys I figured that I am a quitter and I also do this obsessive love thing. Omg and all is coming from the attachement style I developed by my childhood trauma. I am working on myself. Progress, not perfection. I wish you all strenght who is going through difficulties directly or via your partner. We are not alone!
This is my joint account with my dear wife .My wife reads everything posted here.We are parents to two grown up kids. We are managing everything together. We are possessive and moving together in our journey in both good and bad days. Yeah these studies are good for psychological balance in various stages of life. Happy new year to you all .Stay happy,blessed and safe.
Nothing speaks more about BPD than holding a person at high value one day, followed by the rapid devaluation of that person. It sucks and has kept me single for 14 years, which i absolutely love BUT it confuses people how such an intelligent and good lookin fellow doesn't have a gf. Sometimes I explain it but most of the time I just have to make up something more normal so they will understand better and that's the part that sucks.
And then there was the BPD comment. Thanks for making me feel even worse for wanted to feel loved yet I don't want them to be feeling like they are the cause of my anger when my BPD gets out of hand. Just another sign that I should not persue a relationship again
Actively want and persue specialist therapy on BPD and you have a 90% chance of remission if you keep working at it and are aware of your behavior/mood swings. I'd be as daring as to say you have to learn to run, without a leg. Build the prostatic (therapy and new behavior) and keep practicing with it until you can run a race. Untreated, BPD sadly is either the cause of you going down, the other, or both. And the younger you are, the more time it will take. Either find someone really stable/mature and trust them, more so if they dealt with it before. But never try to overrule them, or one-up them in the relationship until you are in remission. Otherwise... Take your time with the other person, stop having one-night stands and don't engage in friends with benefits situation(ships) unless you have up on stable relationships.
Thank you so much for posting this! This really hit home for me because I was in a relationship this year where I was “love-bombed.” After watching this video, it proved me right that the love from my partner at the time was definitely obsessive. I feel so lucky that my instincts were telling me that the love was not healthy and was able to excuse myself from the situation (permanently 😉). Thankfully, I’ve built such immense respect for myself over the years and I feel proud of myself for standing my ground to this day!
@@Richiehawk It wasn’t my first actually. I gave him a few chances to improve himself first. But then I walked away because I couldn’t trust him to improve.
1:08 Holy Jesus. I never felt so related to one of your points as this one. I love my father, but i also fear him when he's angry or displeased with others like my mother or my sister, and even my brother. No wonder why every time i fell in love i tended to be obsessed with that person, and no wonder why no relationship has ever worked for me. I deserve to be alone after all cuz i'm a bad person :) Your videos have helped me a lot on things i needed to understand about myself, but this is the most eye-opening of all for me. you guys (& gals) nailed it in the head with this one. Thank you for helping me this year. I hope i can change for the better in 2023 (or die trying).
Thank you for all you do, Psych2go! These videos are always enjoyable and informative. I think I can come off as obsessive, since I oftenly talk highly about others. That's mainly because I see special qualities in people I dream to have, myself. I've done some self-reflection and I can see that I hate myself... a lot. I see why I get left behind and why nobody takes me seriously. I am writing a lot of notes so I can remember what to do and what not to do. I just can't stand being trash, forgettable, boring, and depressed, any longer.
Yep, I married that person after 3 years of dating and a year of engagement. She left me a month into our marriage(Sept 2017). (You don't have to, but you can see all about it on my channel, i try to motivate and use my experiences with trauma to be of any help possible)
Yah I messed up my first relationship from, overthinking, and clingy by text. Now theres a guy I lreally like and he likes me back too. And I dont want to mess this one and dont wanna repeat the same mistake.
Most these are relatable to my best friend and I. She thinks she’s an exception to my personal boundaries. Wants to hang out almost everyday on the hour. And invites herself to my plans even if she doesn’t know my other friends. I remember telling a buddy that my best friend wanted to tag along and she spoke up saying that she was really looking forward to our plans together and she didn’t really know my best friend. Which I understood. But my best friend took personal. She didn’t say it outright, but it was clear that it was bothered her and she didn’t want me to be friends with that person.
I was love bombed quite recently. I was three dates in with a girl and she told me she wanted to get married within a year. Even though we are both closer to our 30s right now, I was not ready to get married in a year.
Kevin , i had a similar experience. love bombed massively and so quick maybe just after few times of dating he did wedding propsed to me. i felt werid, and my anxious to him was right. he became mood swinger and exploit.
I really appreciate what you do with the channel, hardly ever clickbaity titles or thumbnails and that's what eventually I'll hover to since there's so much of this clickbait stuff, thank you Psych2Go 🥰
Oh yeah, I’ve been here before. Really liked this person, always felt like I needed to do more to impress her and put effort in to show that I care. But that really did nothing and she eventually ghosted me and told the hard truth because I technically pushed her into that. And eventually realized that I was nothing but a big simp and embarrassed and possibly her as well. But at least I learned something out that and am moving forward and she’s found someone that she loves very much and I’m just happy for her instead of being a big cry baby and wishing she’s mine and apparently she’s doesn’t hate me like I thought she did because she wrote in my yearbook that “my future is bright” and I thanked her for that
As have I. Twelve years ago, I met someone while in college and we became very close friends. After my codependent, toxic and abusive marriage ended, I was in the middle of an emotional maelstrom and realizing I was in love with my friend. It took months for me to finally articulate this to her, but the signs of obsessive behavior that I'd fought with since childhood had begun to manifest again. Not only was I rejected, I was also ghosted after we met up again a few years later and attempted to reconcile. It took until 2020 for me to be able to finally get therapy that was effective in helping me start to untie those emotional triggers and another two years to get on a medication that works with my genetic and brain chemistry. Sadly though, it's changed nothing as far as allowing me to reconnect with her and the pain, grief, anger, regret and shame for not being able to control it (and not for lack of trying, either) is something I have to live with in exchange for losing someone who meant the world to me because of that.
I try to control how much sweetness I give to my crush because I don't want to seem creepy or clingy... Or obsessive lol. I don't know if texting your friend every day is too much or not but I try to like not text my friend too much.
this was really helpful :) I am always scared I may fall into these things due to my childhood and mental issues so this video helps me be aware of my behavior and me and my boyfriend can discuss and walk through it together :)
@@Psych2go Absolutely, I had a toxic narcissistic relationship and family members, so I am now forcing myself to recognize early signs of unhealthy friendships or love. It’s so normalized to me to see trauma bonds as authentic.
I spot Love Bombing, ignoring responsibilities and intense emotions really often. Thanks to videos like these when I realize it, I take a quick pause and calm down. I have childhood trauma and even with therapy I am still struggling for many years. I have fearful avoidant attachment style.
Just recently had this experience. It was very strange. First date they were very love bomb. They showered me with gifts, used the phrase "being in love" with new often, staring for an uncomfortable amount of time into my eyes while sitting on my lap. What I noticed was a clear lack of respect for my boundaries. They wanted me to stay over to which I declined and said I didn't stay the night on first dates. Besides I literally lived only five minutes away anyway. Not like I couldn't pop back over anytime. But they were still insistent and showed frustration or even dismissal of me when I won't budge. It ended up being me staying very late until they fell asleep and I snuck out. They texted with me the next morning I explained myself and we ended up agreeing to a second date. I had accidentally tickled them while hugging and i mentioned I hated being tickled myself so I apologized. That in mind, while watching a movie they hopped into my lap and began to just stare into my eyes. I have Asperger's so this is incredibly awkward for me. I start to get uncomfortable and begin to fidget. They lean in for a kiss and move to my neck which begins to tickle. I jolt and say it tickled and they continued while holding me down. I start to panic and attempt to buck them off and they're laughing while tickling me and they said they liked seeing me squirm. I managed to get them off of me and said I didn't like that at all and they gave me an annoyed expression as if I ruined the mood or something. More things that are probably inappropriate but relevant happen and I end up sneaking out again. The next morning they texted and I said it was too much for me especially on a second date. They responded they do think they are too much. And that was that. I asked if that's seriously all they were going to say and they responded "I don't know what to tell you I was just being myself" and that was it. No apology or even interest in attempting to salvage anything. They were supposedly madly in love with me and then within hours couldn't care less
I really really really wish the disclaimer in the Intro of this video; about the honeymoon phase: was present in all of your other obsession type videos that point out 'red flags' like this. I also really need to be told not to worry overly too much or change who I am right now to be the perfect being or something in accordance with your videos.
I needed this, yesterday I was in the same room with a person whom I believed I was over crushing on him like it's been 7years and 2 years since I started writing song my first one and 100th are bout the same person like 30 songs are only bout him! Idk but I feel safe when he's around and catching up on him made me alive again! Well I've never been in a relationship but one side obsession disguised as love IS HARMFUL!
Man, I honestly think this is a big reason for my constant "need" for relationships and also why they tend to break up really quick. Every time I meet someone who has some sort of romantic feeling towards me, I immediately start to get attached and obsess about them in the exact same ways that this video demonstrated, which then leads to my SO getting turned off by me and also calling me "toxic" or "manipulative" at times. It really sucks, because it's such a difficult thing to work on, especially by myself, so I pretty much have no choice but to get some help for this. I also recommend anyone reading this, who can relate to me, to do the same thing, because I know how debilitating these obsessions can be at times.
1:14 this actually explains why I would hit my friends when they would annoy me, I was physically punished for being uncooperative and I only stopped doing that whenever I stopped getting hit
What I get out of the first one is that I am so doomed. My father did suicide when I was 12. I am 38 now but still have obsessive behavior. The bond with my mother is also not so good. Worsened the last decade a lot. I react emotionally all the time and am a HSP male who gets friendzoned all the time. Well that's my life. Too hard to find someone without getting obsessive and scaring them away. Happens like all the time.
I broke up with my boyfriend a while ago because it felt obsessive, and now watching this video it def was, he was constantly love bombing and would avoid doing his work to be with me and he would be trying to take me on dates all the time, he was a huge love bomber
Idk if i have love bombing, I think that giving gifts is just my love language (and touch, but that's not important), but I have a issue, i don't think he likes me back- I think he has his special person already.. but i want to confess to him anyways because I just want to get this off my chest, how do I do it? Just talk to him on the side? I don't know 😅
i feel like i tick most of the box in the video, I have been obsess with a crush of mine and now that she slowly starting to avoid be i feel angry and sad most of the time. my relationship with my parents is that I love them at the same time I fear being judged by them being worthless. I need to reflect myself more on this and work towards improving myself. Its not easy and it oftens led me to bad sleeping pattern, sometimes ignoring my work responsibility and even often have suicidal thoughts when my crush did not respond to me or in the way I wanted to. I feel like I dont deserve love from others.
I'm currently in a 3 years relationship with someone who has all these tendencies, and more. It's hard, because I do love him, but I'm not sure I can make it another 3.
I worry this might be me. But when I watch the recent “Falling in Love without realizing it” video, I relate to that video a lot, too. It’s so hard to be self aware. I hope I’m not like this :(
I think that you worry about being to obsessed and that you don't want to be like that is a great sing that you are doing great and you can always ask your partner Don't worry your doing great
Yeah I “might” be a love bomber…😙😬 It’s because I’m a people pleaser who overthinks. And it doesn’t help that my 2nd love language is physical touch.🙃😭 I feel like if I don’t make gifts, tell ppl how much I care for them, or just touch them (high fives, long hugs, hand shakes) if feels like they don’t like me anymore- or they never did. I had some friend issues back then…😅
So i've tried to but never understood. what is it that makes lovebombing a bad thing? Isnt showering your loved ones how much they mean to you by words or actions a good thing?
It's just sad realizing I opened this video because I wana check if I am the person who is obsessive and yeah the 6 signs fit my self. And now I'm thinking about is it too late to fix everything? To make my partner feel comfortable and secure around me? I mean, both of us have our own internal issues and we need to work for it together. But, can we? Idk. I wanna save everything. I wanna save my relationship. But I know the first thing I have to do is saving myself. But how?
I don't blame a partner for childhood trauma giving them obsessive traits though! That can't be their fault especially if they've never identified that there was something unhealthy just yet.
This was my ex-bf , he was constantly telling me that i should go to bed, what i should eat. Who i should be friends with, and he stopped eating, sleeping drinking or doing anything to keep his body working when i wasnt talking to him. The first time i genuinely felt threatened and panicked aswell as scared, he was drunk and told me he hated me talking to my male friends, feeling threatened over me speaking my first language (german) while he couldnt understand me which i got it was annoying however that thing stuck to me, it wasnt healthy at all he was obsessed with the idea of keeping me. I ended the relationship and he just constantly told me how selfishni was for ending it and how he didnt know why the time he was drunk could have ended our relationship. Im happy being out of it, i did truly love him but he was hurting himself. Thanks for reading it to the end(♡)
BPD is a trauma response; the effect of childhood abuse, usually, that could cause a chemical imbalance in the brain. Mood disorders are more commonly caused by chemical imbalances than personality disorders which are formed in childhood.
so I get how this is bad, but also just a little thought about the micromanaging" bit maybe helping with when they eat and their money and always talking to them and knowing where they are at all times could also be seen as making sure they are safe and always taken care of. I mean doesn't everyone want to keep the person they love safe, happy, and taken care of.
0:43 1. childhood trauma
1:36 2. micromanaging
2:26 3. love bombing
3:18 4. ignoring responsibilities
4:04 5. intense emotions
4:43 6. other mental illnesses
Ty
Mvp
I'm in process of trying to clean break from someone who has All 6 of these points.
7-Refusing to date you, plays online all night
8-He knows you do not have an Ankle reflex anymore, and your spinal bones grind together when you walk but he still tells you to Jog all the time.
9-He wont hang out because he doesnt like your body
10-He is only happy with you when you leave him.
He fucks around all night online.
The way we all thought of that one person
It’s the last day of the year…and we’re all being called out like this 😭
I thought of myself lol
I was right...
@@RoseyCandor swear😭
Yes and no lol
@@RoseyCandor frr😭
Went through this because I my first ever relationship ended, and I didn’t realize how obsessed I was until after the breakup. Definitely learned my lesson
same.
Same here
me too.
Same here
Same
Unfortunately I was the one who had to learn to distinguish between obsession and caring. Then got a dose of it in a future relationship.
Just need to accept that our partner is, and forever will be, an entity separate from ourselves. Enjoy the time together, maintain healthy hobbies and activities that sustain it, but don't stress worrying about an end date to those activities or we'll be the architect of their conclusion.
I'm afraid of this being me. So I tend to pull away when I'm afraid of getting too close or when I think I may hurt the other person. Love was really rare when I was growing up. I'm afraid of losing it. But I desperately crave it
Same 😩 I know this all too well it's rough out here 😭
Same! It's hard to know what to do. But I try to keep it in perspective: real love lets that person be free and be their best selves, not under pressure. That is how I feel around my special someone, and I hope they feel the same way around me.
i'd like to date people like this. i dont know. im pretty obsessive but crave love and comfort from another. i want to date someone whos more confident than me,,
Timestamps
1). Childhood trauma 0:42
2). Micromanaging 1:36
3). Love bombing 2:26
4). Ignoring responsibilities 3:18
5). Intense emotions 4:03
6). Other mental illnesses 4:42
Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. 💙💙💙💙💙💙💙
I completely understand most people in the beginning of a relationship, go through an infatuation phase with there partner but after that rush wheres's down, the relationship, might start to become more boring also because you're in your first part of the relationship or just in the first relationship in general, you might be more clingy to your partner, which is another sign of unhealthy/obsessive love because you have not experienced enough relationships to set healthy boundaries with your partner
I figured it out on my own that I have this towards my partner and I actively try to not have it. But man is it hard. I'm getting there slowly but surely, thank goodness. This video confirmed my fears about myself and confirmed one thing I need to keep working on.
I feel ya.
same
Thanks! This helped me step back a little to make sure I wasn’t being too obsessive. I wasn’t being too obsessive.
Sometimes I fear this is me because I've had the same crush for years but I know personally what's it like to be controlled so I don't really care to control them because that's not what someone does when they really like them. Glad to know that I'm not hurting them though.
Years? Have you told them yet?
@@SharpBalisong mid of 2022, yes I did.
@@hades2659 What happened after? Still sounds like friends at least.
@@SharpBalisong I suppose we can call ourselves that. We don't talk really and I feel like we're both trying to react on how we believe the other one sees us. Like entirely based on assumptions but as of now we're both doing our own thing
@@hades2659 That’s unfortunate. :(
I love my girlfriend but shes checked off pretty much all the boxes and even she knows shes very obsessive. Her obsession has gone as far as her overdosing because our relationship was pretty rocky at that point in time. she even openly admitted that she would kill herself if we broke up and not in a joking matter either. shes even gone as far as telling me basically that she wants me all to her self and she doesn't want anyone else to talk to me or be friends with me. I talk to her about eight hours a day until 1 or 2 am even then sometimes she doesn't let me sleep and if I do she gets mad at me. I just don't know what to do I want to make it work I really love this girl. (we've been together for almost 5 months now) (theirs a lot more to write about but this is all I have for now)
I had the exact thing happen to me, although we were dating, not in a relationship. And then one day it switched. She became distant, cold, and would hang out with other guys while still claming to love me. That messed me up pretty bad
Just wanted to tell you you arent resposible for another person's emotions or actions(even if they are your gf) and to ask you to take care of your health, mental and physical. You deserve to be comfortable in your relationship and to have healthy boundaries.
Runnnn!!!
Pretty much right after I commented this my girlfriend asked me if I would be ok with having a camera watch me 24/7 and being tracked wherever I went and audio recording me 24/7. To which I responded with I think you need to dial it down a little bit. I understand you want to see me and hear me but after a certain extent it becomes weird I honestly feel like your more of a stalker than my girlfriend right now. I know how you are but this is just a complete violation of privacy if I were going to do this. I just feel like I have to tell you this because if I don't things will only get worse and you will become more obsessed. I'm not mad at you i just want you to change for the better of this relationship and just for yourself as well. I'll be with you every step of the way. I know you mean well but its gotten to the point that I have to tell you its not ok to even be thinking about doing this. I love you (her name).
@@AkayRoblox im not sure how old you guys are, or how long you've been dating, but if she's able, she definitely needs therapy.
I was in a relationship with someone for 3 years where we would be literally 24/7 in a skype call everyday before and after school, even when sleeping, with cameras on. and while part of me was glad that someone actually loved me that much to want to be around me all the time, it massively hindered me trying to find my own identity or even how to socialize with other people. It was like we ended up fusing into one person. it got to a point where i wasn't able to spend time with my family without them there.
Stuff like this can slowly escalate to the point where you're completely co-dependent.
I always try to share my thoughts and feelings with my girlfriend, she's my best friend. Always ask her what she's doing (not really always, but like, once in a while) in a way of getting something to talk about. I think I'm scared of the end of the honeymoon phase though. Actually, I think it already ended for her, but for me it comes and goes. We've been together for nine months, but till now things are doing great. If you got here thank you for your time and patience.
My girlfriend and I have been on a relationship for seven months now. We see each other everyday as we live close by and we both enjoy being a bit too sweet to each other. She went on vacation with her family three weeks ago and the second week she was out I had a really bad time. I want her to enjoy the trip and I understand we both have our family plans and obligations but I just couldn’t help to feel really bad. In a way I had been looking forward to spending the Holiday Season with my girlfriend and more because this is my time off from work, and I had stuff planned and suddenly it all faded away. We chat a lot and last week sometimes I’d get angry for no reason or extremely sad. I’m wondering if maybe it is obsessive love. And again, I believe I understand that there has to be space and the logics of it but my insides hurt. This week has been better, I am enjoying my time alone and doing stuff, sometimes I get sad or frustrated. Thanks for the video
Its great u understand, just be patient and continue doing the things u love, and all the best to ur relationship getting better :D
That is a really good thought provoking question. What you do in any relationship, whether romantic or as friends, is far more meaningful then what is going on in the theater of your head so it is good to separate the two and find self-affirming avenues to ease the troubled mind. It may seem impossible at first but can be a great benefit if you build that interdependence and find a good balance.
After a long time building that rapport with multiple people I've found that it can quickly get annoying when either grief or lust/love is the only subject brought up in casual/text conversations or is the only thing keeping the relationship going. Love is the reason relationships start but only provides enough fuel to launch the relationship. It isn't enough to keep a relationship going, you also need communication and a solid foundation of trust. But does this mean love is pointless? Not at all. Think of love as sweet foods, great for a quick burst of energy but unhealthy if overindulged on. They give more strength and meaning to healthy relationships if done in intervals and without expectation.
The best thing that can be done if you have things you want to get off your chest is to create a judgement-free neutral space for you and your partner to communicate feelings. Sadly not everyone does this and those unheard emotions can build up over time so a relationship therapist should be consulted in the event that they are putting your emotional needs on a shelf. I know this because my parents had marriage counseling and have been together for 43 years through many stages of their lives. Even when times were difficult they always found time to talk about their physical/emotional needs and forgive each other.
It’s probably withdrawal symptoms from the oxytocin, dopamine and serotonin cocktail you were regularly getting from being around your partner. Your second week apart was likely when your hormones stabilized. It’s good that you are aware of a need for a little time and space apart.
Thank you for this video! And for the many others. I kinda knew that there is a problem with me, but it was lingering just under conscious level and destructing my life. Thanks to you guys I figured that I am a quitter and I also do this obsessive love thing. Omg and all is coming from the attachement style I developed by my childhood trauma. I am working on myself. Progress, not perfection. I wish you all strenght who is going through difficulties directly or via your partner. We are not alone!
I watched this video to find out whether I'm an obsessive lover, without ever having been in a relationship.
This is my joint account with my dear wife .My wife reads everything posted here.We are parents to two grown up kids. We are managing everything together. We are possessive and moving together in our journey in both good and bad days. Yeah these studies are good for psychological balance in various stages of life. Happy new year to you all .Stay happy,blessed and safe.
I love that my aunt Dr. Dryden-Edwards was mentioned here. It's touching to realize her work helped so many
can we just all appreciate how calming her voice is?
Nothing speaks more about BPD than holding a person at high value one day, followed by the rapid devaluation of that person. It sucks and has kept me single for 14 years, which i absolutely love BUT it confuses people how such an intelligent and good lookin fellow doesn't have a gf. Sometimes I explain it but most of the time I just have to make up something more normal so they will understand better and that's the part that sucks.
And then there was the BPD comment. Thanks for making me feel even worse for wanted to feel loved yet I don't want them to be feeling like they are the cause of my anger when my BPD gets out of hand. Just another sign that I should not persue a relationship again
I have BPD, and think we should not be in a relationship to prevent abuse. Nobody deserves to be abused.
Actively want and persue specialist therapy on BPD and you have a 90% chance of remission if you keep working at it and are aware of your behavior/mood swings. I'd be as daring as to say you have to learn to run, without a leg. Build the prostatic (therapy and new behavior) and keep practicing with it until you can run a race. Untreated, BPD sadly is either the cause of you going down, the other, or both. And the younger you are, the more time it will take. Either find someone really stable/mature and trust them, more so if they dealt with it before. But never try to overrule them, or one-up them in the relationship until you are in remission.
Otherwise... Take your time with the other person, stop having one-night stands and don't engage in friends with benefits situation(ships) unless you have up on stable relationships.
Thank you so much for posting this! This really hit home for me because I was in a relationship this year where I was “love-bombed.” After watching this video, it proved me right that the love from my partner at the time was definitely obsessive. I feel so lucky that my instincts were telling me that the love was not healthy and was able to excuse myself from the situation (permanently 😉). Thankfully, I’ve built such immense respect for myself over the years and I feel proud of myself for standing my ground to this day!
Wow!... That sounds amazing 🤩
I hope you feel better and happier now..
Btw; you walked away or you had to fix the relationship??
I wondered what happened
@@Richiehawk I thought walking away was the best option
@@KkRocks sometimes that's not the first or best choice to make..
But if that makes you feel better then it's okay 👍
@@Richiehawk It wasn’t my first actually. I gave him a few chances to improve himself first. But then I walked away because I couldn’t trust him to improve.
1:08 Holy Jesus. I never felt so related to one of your points as this one. I love my father, but i also fear him when he's angry or displeased with others like my mother or my sister, and even my brother. No wonder why every time i fell in love i tended to be obsessed with that person, and no wonder why no relationship has ever worked for me. I deserve to be alone after all cuz i'm a bad person :)
Your videos have helped me a lot on things i needed to understand about myself, but this is the most eye-opening of all for me. you guys (& gals) nailed it in the head with this one.
Thank you for helping me this year. I hope i can change for the better in 2023 (or die trying).
yea i have the same experience with my mother ;-;
It’s just so crazy to me that Psych2Go makes the exact life advice I needed
Crazier when you think it’s not happening to you but realize that it is 🥺💔
Yea I notice in myself I'm also obsessieve. It's so hard to step away when you like someone and want to be with them like all the time.
i relate so hard
me to
Could you please do a video on how to reconnect with someone you haven't talked to in ages?
Thank you for all you do, Psych2go! These videos are always enjoyable and informative. I think I can come off as obsessive, since I oftenly talk highly about others. That's mainly because I see special qualities in people I dream to have, myself.
I've done some self-reflection and I can see that I hate myself... a lot. I see why I get left behind and why nobody takes me seriously. I am writing a lot of notes so I can remember what to do and what not to do. I just can't stand being trash, forgettable, boring, and depressed, any longer.
agreed
"Have you ever been in a relationshi-" no.
But all seriousness thank you for making these videos and making it entertaining to watch
I wish everyone a happy new year 2023 ❤☺️
Same to you
Different time line😭
Yep, I married that person after 3 years of dating and a year of engagement. She left me a month into our marriage(Sept 2017). (You don't have to, but you can see all about it on my channel, i try to motivate and use my experiences with trauma to be of any help possible)
Yah I messed up my first relationship from, overthinking, and clingy by text.
Now theres a guy I lreally like and he likes me back too. And I dont want to mess this one and dont wanna repeat the same mistake.
Most these are relatable to my best friend and I. She thinks she’s an exception to my personal boundaries. Wants to hang out almost everyday on the hour. And invites herself to my plans even if she doesn’t know my other friends. I remember telling a buddy that my best friend wanted to tag along and she spoke up saying that she was really looking forward to our plans together and she didn’t really know my best friend. Which I understood. But my best friend took personal. She didn’t say it outright, but it was clear that it was bothered her and she didn’t want me to be friends with that person.
**hides away with shame**
I was love bombed quite recently. I was three dates in with a girl and she told me she wanted to get married within a year. Even though we are both closer to our 30s right now, I was not ready to get married in a year.
Kevin , i had a similar experience. love bombed massively and so quick maybe just after few times of dating he did wedding propsed to me. i felt werid, and my anxious to him was right. he became mood swinger and exploit.
Going through this now with a girl I can't be with. I know it's happening but I can't fight it.
We all are here because we’re scared we’re too much for our lovers
I really appreciate what you do with the channel, hardly ever clickbaity titles or thumbnails and that's what eventually I'll hover to since there's so much of this clickbait stuff, thank you Psych2Go 🥰
Could you do a video on narcolepsy vs depression? They're two very similar disorders that have a lot of overlap.
Oh yeah, I’ve been here before. Really liked this person, always felt like I needed to do more to impress her and put effort in to show that I care. But that really did nothing and she eventually ghosted me and told the hard truth because I technically pushed her into that. And eventually realized that I was nothing but a big simp and embarrassed and possibly her as well. But at least I learned something out that and am moving forward and she’s found someone that she loves very much and I’m just happy for her instead of being a big cry baby and wishing she’s mine and apparently she’s doesn’t hate me like I thought she did because she wrote in my yearbook that “my future is bright” and I thanked her for that
As have I. Twelve years ago, I met someone while in college and we became very close friends. After my codependent, toxic and abusive marriage ended, I was in the middle of an emotional maelstrom and realizing I was in love with my friend. It took months for me to finally articulate this to her, but the signs of obsessive behavior that I'd fought with since childhood had begun to manifest again.
Not only was I rejected, I was also ghosted after we met up again a few years later and attempted to reconcile. It took until 2020 for me to be able to finally get therapy that was effective in helping me start to untie those emotional triggers and another two years to get on a medication that works with my genetic and brain chemistry.
Sadly though, it's changed nothing as far as allowing me to reconnect with her and the pain, grief, anger, regret and shame for not being able to control it (and not for lack of trying, either) is something I have to live with in exchange for losing someone who meant the world to me because of that.
I try to control how much sweetness I give to my crush because I don't want to seem creepy or clingy... Or obsessive lol. I don't know if texting your friend every day is too much or not but I try to like not text my friend too much.
The fact yesterday i broke up and i cant get him out of my head and this video pops up.... I LOVE YALL
this was really helpful :) I am always scared I may fall into these things due to my childhood and mental issues so this video helps me be aware of my behavior and me and my boyfriend can discuss and walk through it together :)
Happy New Year, Psych 2 Go Team 💥🧡🥳🎊🎉 Thanks for all you contribute to help others! It's so useful these days.
Our pleasure! Did you relate to this video?
@@Psych2go Absolutely, I had a toxic narcissistic relationship and family members, so I am now forcing myself to recognize early signs of unhealthy friendships or love. It’s so normalized to me to see trauma bonds as authentic.
My best friend hasn't contacted me since June because of her new bf. These kind of videos always make me think of her...
Can you do one on experiencing limmerence vs falling in love?
I could’ve sworn that this video has already been made like 10 times under different titles
I wouldn’t say this type of video but yeah
I know little about love, but these signs represent obsessive love very well.
I spot Love Bombing, ignoring responsibilities and intense emotions really often. Thanks to videos like these when I realize it, I take a quick pause and calm down.
I have childhood trauma and even with therapy I am still struggling for many years. I have fearful avoidant attachment style.
Just recently had this experience. It was very strange. First date they were very love bomb. They showered me with gifts, used the phrase "being in love" with new often, staring for an uncomfortable amount of time into my eyes while sitting on my lap. What I noticed was a clear lack of respect for my boundaries. They wanted me to stay over to which I declined and said I didn't stay the night on first dates. Besides I literally lived only five minutes away anyway. Not like I couldn't pop back over anytime. But they were still insistent and showed frustration or even dismissal of me when I won't budge. It ended up being me staying very late until they fell asleep and I snuck out. They texted with me the next morning I explained myself and we ended up agreeing to a second date. I had accidentally tickled them while hugging and i mentioned I hated being tickled myself so I apologized. That in mind, while watching a movie they hopped into my lap and began to just stare into my eyes. I have Asperger's so this is incredibly awkward for me. I start to get uncomfortable and begin to fidget. They lean in for a kiss and move to my neck which begins to tickle. I jolt and say it tickled and they continued while holding me down. I start to panic and attempt to buck them off and they're laughing while tickling me and they said they liked seeing me squirm. I managed to get them off of me and said I didn't like that at all and they gave me an annoyed expression as if I ruined the mood or something. More things that are probably inappropriate but relevant happen and I end up sneaking out again. The next morning they texted and I said it was too much for me especially on a second date. They responded they do think they are too much. And that was that. I asked if that's seriously all they were going to say and they responded "I don't know what to tell you I was just being myself" and that was it. No apology or even interest in attempting to salvage anything. They were supposedly madly in love with me and then within hours couldn't care less
I really really really wish the disclaimer in the Intro of this video; about the honeymoon phase: was present in all of your other obsession type videos that point out 'red flags' like this. I also really need to be told not to worry overly too much or change who I am right now to be the perfect being or something in accordance with your videos.
I had a friend do this to me, and now I sometimes over compliment my friends because I am worried I'll turn into her
My narcissistic mother has signs number 1, 4, and 6.
I needed this, yesterday I was in the same room with a person whom I believed I was over crushing on him like it's been 7years and 2 years since I started writing song my first one and 100th are bout the same person like 30 songs are only bout him! Idk but I feel safe when he's around and catching up on him made me alive again! Well I've never been in a relationship but one side obsession disguised as love IS HARMFUL!
Physch2Go: Have you ever been in a relationship-
Me: No.
Man, I honestly think this is a big reason for my constant "need" for relationships and also why they tend to break up really quick. Every time I meet someone who has some sort of romantic feeling towards me, I immediately start to get attached and obsess about them in the exact same ways that this video demonstrated, which then leads to my SO getting turned off by me and also calling me "toxic" or "manipulative" at times. It really sucks, because it's such a difficult thing to work on, especially by myself, so I pretty much have no choice but to get some help for this. I also recommend anyone reading this, who can relate to me, to do the same thing, because I know how debilitating these obsessions can be at times.
commenting so i remember to come back to watch this
It's still hard for me to tell if I'm obsessive or want to be treated right
The way I was like I’m THE danger
Why do you always put out the exact topics that are lingering in my mind this very moment?
Cool I actually got here as soon as the video came out
To be honest I have never heard of obsessive love disorder that much to be honest.😅😓
What do you do when you find yourself in a relationship like this?
1:14 this actually explains why I would hit my friends when they would annoy me, I was physically punished for being uncooperative and I only stopped doing that whenever I stopped getting hit
Thank you! This is very interesting!
hey! relationship knowledge i wont be able to ever use in my life! my favorite!
I have to sleep at some point phych2 go but you keep walking me up with these amazing videos
I’m here so early Mariah Carey doesn’t know what she wants for Christmas
What I get out of the first one is that I am so doomed. My father did suicide when I was 12. I am 38 now but still have obsessive behavior. The bond with my mother is also not so good. Worsened the last decade a lot. I react emotionally all the time and am a HSP male who gets friendzoned all the time. Well that's my life. Too hard to find someone without getting obsessive and scaring them away. Happens like all the time.
What happened to just being an insecure person without something else to blame for it?
What a fantastic video tto finish 2022 keep up the good work
this channel doing gods work fr
I broke up with my boyfriend a while ago because it felt obsessive, and now watching this video it def was, he was constantly love bombing and would avoid doing his work to be with me and he would be trying to take me on dates all the time, he was a huge love bomber
Damn the animation is lit ✨✨
Well I will be sharing this in my therapy group went we meet back. Found it very informative and I'm sure my group members will too
I needed this video 6 months ago
Tysm!
Idk if i have love bombing, I think that giving gifts is just my love language (and touch, but that's not important), but I have a issue, i don't think he likes me back- I think he has his special person already.. but i want to confess to him anyways because I just want to get this off my chest, how do I do it? Just talk to him on the side? I don't know 😅
i feel like i tick most of the box in the video, I have been obsess with a crush of mine and now that she slowly starting to avoid be i feel angry and sad most of the time. my relationship with my parents is that I love them at the same time I fear being judged by them being worthless. I need to reflect myself more on this and work towards improving myself. Its not easy and it oftens led me to bad sleeping pattern, sometimes ignoring my work responsibility and even often have suicidal thoughts when my crush did not respond to me or in the way I wanted to. I feel like I dont deserve love from others.
4:45 GOTTA CATCH EM ALL!!!
So early phsyc hasn’t had time to go
Thanks for this, I will try to keep this in mind, in about like... 5 years. (I am 14 for now this year)
I could watch these videos for hours just listening to this voice
I'm currently in a 3 years relationship with someone who has all these tendencies, and more.
It's hard, because I do love him, but I'm not sure I can make it another 3.
The way i sae myself in this really enlightened me of the reason we broke up
I feel like this is a sign…
I worry this might be me. But when I watch the recent “Falling in Love without realizing it” video, I relate to that video a lot, too. It’s so hard to be self aware. I hope I’m not like this :(
I think that you worry about being to obsessed and that you don't want to be like that is a great sing that you are doing great and you can always ask your partner
Don't worry your doing great
Thanks for sharing! How many signs did you relate to in this one?
ROAAAR, RAOOAR, ROOOOOAR
*THANKS FOR MENTIONING ME, CHEWBACCA*
Yeah I “might” be a love bomber…😙😬
It’s because I’m a people pleaser who overthinks. And it doesn’t help that my 2nd love language is physical touch.🙃😭 I feel like if I don’t make gifts, tell ppl how much I care for them, or just touch them (high fives, long hugs, hand shakes) if feels like they don’t like me anymore- or they never did. I had some friend issues back then…😅
So i've tried to but never understood. what is it that makes lovebombing a bad thing? Isnt showering your loved ones how much they mean to you by words or actions a good thing?
I already have a feeling when this thing pops in my screen, it means that it has something to do with me
And i was right..
if we’re both obsessive it works
I like the sense of humour here:
"5 signs you blah blah blah...." on the first point's mini P2G screen 😹
It's just sad realizing I opened this video because I wana check if I am the person who is obsessive and yeah the 6 signs fit my self. And now I'm thinking about is it too late to fix everything? To make my partner feel comfortable and secure around me? I mean, both of us have our own internal issues and we need to work for it together. But, can we? Idk. I wanna save everything. I wanna save my relationship. But I know the first thing I have to do is saving myself. But how?
I don't blame a partner for childhood trauma giving them obsessive traits though! That can't be their fault especially if they've never identified that there was something unhealthy just yet.
Not in a relationship, but I have a feeling what is upon my future.
This was my ex-bf , he was constantly telling me that i should go to bed, what i should eat. Who i should be friends with, and he stopped eating, sleeping drinking or doing anything to keep his body working when i wasnt talking to him. The first time i genuinely felt threatened and panicked aswell as scared, he was drunk and told me he hated me talking to my male friends, feeling threatened over me speaking my first language (german) while he couldnt understand me which i got it was annoying however that thing stuck to me, it wasnt healthy at all he was obsessed with the idea of keeping me. I ended the relationship and he just constantly told me how selfishni was for ending it and how he didnt know why the time he was drunk could have ended our relationship. Im happy being out of it, i did truly love him but he was hurting himself. Thanks for reading it to the end(♡)
Thank you, I am just trying live life and have fun and explore and this is helpful right now
Glad it was helpful! Did you relate to any of these signs?
This was very helpful
The way I needed to watch this and it just popped up
BPD is a trauma response; the effect of childhood abuse, usually, that could cause a chemical imbalance in the brain. Mood disorders are more commonly caused by chemical imbalances than personality disorders which are formed in childhood.
42. Your videos has helped me alot. Thank you.🙏🏻
so I get how this is bad, but also just a little thought about the micromanaging" bit maybe helping with when they eat and their money and always talking to them and knowing where they are at all times could also be seen as making sure they are safe and always taken care of. I mean doesn't everyone want to keep the person they love safe, happy, and taken care of.