People criticize a woman for not leaving but they don't realize how broken you are to have the strength to leave as feel enough to leave and be able to provide for your kids. You always hope the narcissist will improve. He then promises and gets better but then go at it again
It is very hard to leave. I was there. You are doing it to save your yourself and children. Like Doctor Clarke stated if we stay with our abusers our children will become abusers or marry abusers. Our health will deteriorate, and most likely you will die before your abuser. God or the Creator wants us to live in peace and harmony. Make a plan to leave and plan your future with family or friend support. Going back to school if you don't have a college degree. There are a lots of jobs in the government too. Lastly therapy is vital in our healing.
I am in this situation. It is hard and scary. But never before I felt Gods presence in my live this strong! He helps step by step. One day at a time. You have to surrender yourself and your kids to Him. He provides for the reightious one. Romans 8:28 “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.” This is my guideline during this hard time. 🙏🙌
@@miriam9775 God is there if we talk to him. One day my ex narcissist was so disgusting mean and sarcastic for no reason. It is true narcissist really hate you. I prayed to God and said God you have jokes. Get this clown out my life. Three weeks later my ex left. We were together over twenty years. Since he left my health approved and everything else. Take a chance and break free from your narcissist. Life is precious and too short.
Any time a video ends with a prayer, it makes my heart happy. Thank you for that!! I've left after over fifty years and am doing well, thanks to hearing that it's not me and I'm NOT crazy as my narc has said for many, many years. God bless you.
I wish this information was available to me 38 years ago. I knew I live with physical abuse but I first heard about a narcissist about 6 months ago…WOW this was 100% my life. I believe true he’ll and then I spent 10 years after a prolonged divorce mourning and wondering how he could so easily let me and out 4 children go and now at 69 years of age I finally understand. I always say better late than never to learn! Thank you for your work! I can tell you without hesitation your children do suffer and turn on you. Mine go back and forth
All absolutely true! I feel so thankful for these clear words. I come out of a horrible 34 years marriage. He insisted on this new affair/girl friend, his porn addiction s were horrible, his silent treatment got worse and worse. Finally, one evening I threw a bug into the sink and said to him: enough is enough, your book title. My health issues disappeared the day he moved out, almost two years ago. I am sooo glad to be able to deepen my relationship with my Lord. And yes, the pastor did NOT get it.
that is me after 40 years and the financial abuse he is very big in the church the church supported him against me and i became the narcissist in their eyes a narcissist does not change
I’ve separated twice from my alcoholic husband. He’s in rehab right now. I have zero desire to ever go back. I want out for good so badly but I am waiting on the Lord to give me the green light. It gives me a lot of anxiety but I know I have to walk through the process and wait.
So sorry you and your kids have been through those horrible times and days. I felt God it's gave you the green lights put your husband in the Rehab I believe God it's tell you to leave. Praying God's protection for you and your kids🙏 praying God will sending you all the hleps, Finance, Job, strength and encouragement! In Jesus name Amen. I knew this video was 2 yrs ago, I hope you and your kids already left that abusive and toxic home and already having a new life!
Been putting up with it for 22 years! You are spot on about his abusive behavior! Found out 2yrs ago he was paying prostitutes and escorts before we were married, and porn addict. He has slept with my cousin, my best friend, our babysitter, transvestites when we were on vacation. He lived 2 lives and he's one way in public and another behind closed doors, and I always told him he was a fake! On top of that he was living a double life, emotionally abusive and turned my kids against me! He still shows no empathy, no remorse, no repentance! I don't hardly talk to him, and when he starts tormenting me, I don't say a word and just walk away, while he's still raging ranting and raving!!! Starting to get stronger about leaving him! He doesn't take any accountability or responsibility for his actions and tries to blame me!! It's hilarious!!!
I went through a painful divorce years ago that led - over time to a civil relationship with my ex years later. I was grateful that God healed us both before she died a few months ago. This book would help me to talk to others going through similar circumstances.
I gave too many chances, thru alcoholism and sobriety (where i realized something was really wrong when it didnt get better in his sobriety) and am left now trying to rebuild myself from close to nothing emotionally, mentally and even lost my thumb and have metal in my body now. I wish I'd seen this sooner, however everything happens in good time and I'm so thankful for you 🙏
Tina Turner got sick and tired of being sick and tired there is no excuse for anyone staying in a abuse Tina left with nothing me my self is 74 and Jesus Christ is helping me to love myself i been in 3 toxic relationship do to me chosing the wrong person Jesus Christ is healing me from physical and mental abuse sign Cynthia Smith
IM 52 and I have been with him since I was 16, 3 children, and I'm out. He did all this, silent treatment for weeks, 10 to be exact once, he has been cheating my son now is abusive physically towards me just like his Dad. Thanks for this video, I am healing now. Knowing there are so many people out there who are going through what I did makes me so sad, but you need to get out ASAP.
The goal posts keep moving. I kept trying then 30 years down the line enough was enough I thought it's make or break. His addiction is the great outdoors. Nothing else matters. I injured my arm and he'd already made arrangements to go out walking ,I was told to drive myself to hospital, a25 minute drive each way through city traffic with both good arms( I couldn't lift my injured arm)
They are out to destroy your soul! I am a 38 yr narcissistic abusive marriage to an almost 71 yr old husband who gets worse and worse as he ages. The daily insults keep coming unless he plays Mr Nice for a day maybe but of course for not long. He totally denies that he has any anger etc. He is definitely a religious narcissist who has our church members and pastor totally fooled! A definite wolf in sheep’s clothing 😢. Yes I am emotionally wiped out and feeling hopeless even though I am a Believer in Jesus Christ with at times suicidal thoughts in the back of my mind due to feelings hopeless with his emotional and verbal abuse and twisting Biblical scriptures. 😢
💕 Firstly, please call 988 if you have suicidal thoughts and they will help you. Secondly, when I have negative thoughts that can seriously damage me, I pray / silently say “I reject that thought in the name of Jesus.” and it goes away. If it’s not healthy or helpful to me and my loved ones, I reject that stuff in the name of Jesus left and right! You deserve to have peace. Just because you think something or you have accepted something the abuser said as truth doesn’t mean it’s actually correct. You CAN fight back and not just passively accept that bull crud. Don’t believe the LIES of the enemy because they will not help you live the life Christ has intended for you! 💕
Wow ur situation sounds exactly like mine, just difference is we r in our late 30s and 15 yrs together. 10 yrs medicated for depression, thinking reason was childhood traumas, when cause was in my house. I will pray for u sister, thank you for sharing this...
I am doing whatever I want to do, as long as it is biblical. The world needs more of such people desperately! Who just let lead them only by God and not by people. Thank you for your content,
So true I live with a covert narc after twenty seven yrs he discard me and yes the kids is on his side I am alone I always feel sad I can't find myself I need the help and strength to leave
My wife was emotionally abused by her father when he got drunk . I'm very aware that if I want a glass of wine I cannot drink it in front of her. When I think she's ok, she's not.
Been there and share with people my own experience to help them get out of abusive relationships. Can you please post this up to 34:36? I wish to post this on my personal FB with just the main topic. I hope to open others eyes and then offer my assistance as a pastor. And especially his book. This book is needed for victims and pastors. I was not handled well by leadership. They need more training. Thank you for this.
I REALLY APPRECIATE DAVID CLARKE but I would like to add something to what he is sharing. Remember that GOD does NOT always put two people together! The people themselves fall for one another for a number of reasons: an escape from home, immaturity, easily deceived, codependent, needy, a helper, a fixer, abused already before marriage, sexual attraction, physical attraction, financial attraction, loves the spouse & later on finds out she has been duped, when it seems to be much later on, etc. So of course they're going to end up w/ a mess! A REAL MARRIAGE IS SACRED, NOT A FALSE ONE or a ONE SIDED ONE! Yes, God hates divorce but He showed me many years ago that HE HATES all the SINS that were committed against the victim spouse which He knows will cause much bruising, mental anguish, emotional pain, loss of identity, confusion, exhaustion, desperation, PTSD, etc! But the majority of counselors/therapists don't deal w/ that part! But thankfully, David Clarke does! In Mal. 2:15-16-God is rebuking the man for putting away his wife for her fornication & the context is b/c of the continuation of the seed of the man. And throughout the bible there are many places where all these sins are listed that the NARC, ABUSER, are guilty of...in the MARRIAGE! SO YES, THE POOR SPOUSE HAS TO ESCAPE W/ GOD'S BLESSING! God has not called us to HAVE a MARTYR COMPLEX/SYNDROME! HE HAS CALLED US TO THE TRUTH, TO BE LIVING FOR HIM, NOT AN ABUSER, & to serve Him w/ love & freedom!
I think u have saved my life today and put my path with Christ .I been severely emotional 😭 abuse mentally he even starts all the argument says go fuck my dead mother etc agitation if I talk walking on eggshells na Cant do nothing right he went to jail today 6 months I need to move
On my wedding day after the wedding breakfast where my new husband gave a great speach & when shortly after we got into our car (to drive away on our honeymoon,) Before he started the motor he leaned over to me & with his angry red face & vicious words he threatened me saying " if you step out of line just once or even think about it i will come down on you like a ton of bricks, you will wonder what the hell happened to you...What do you think of a male who threatens that to a woman he just married ?? From Brenda
YES. Forgiveness is turning over the incident to God. He exchanges the wound/trama/pain for peace/calm/relief. He heals you and metes out His justice the offender on your behalf.
Forgive but don't forget. If you have to go no contact with your entire family to keep your sanity, do it. Even if it's for a season, it's healing to get a break from the drama and really seek God during that time. I hope you realize your worth. You don't deserve to be abused. God bless you.
What about retaliation also? I just started watching this video I hope you did talk about it here. EDIT. By retaliation, I mean, he takes what belongs to me to throw it away in the trash. Or to ruin it.
People criticize a woman for not leaving but they don't realize how broken you are to have the strength to leave as feel enough to leave and be able to provide for your kids. You always hope the narcissist will improve. He then promises and gets better but then go at it again
It is very hard to leave. I was there. You are doing it to save your yourself and children. Like Doctor Clarke stated if we stay with our abusers our children will become abusers or marry abusers. Our health will deteriorate, and most likely you will die before your abuser. God or the Creator wants us to live in peace and harmony. Make a plan to leave and plan your future with family or friend support. Going back to school if you don't have a college degree. There are a lots of jobs in the government too. Lastly therapy is vital in our healing.
The worst part is the financial abuse!
I am in this situation. It is hard and scary. But never before I felt Gods presence in my live this strong! He helps step by step. One day at a time. You have to surrender yourself and your kids to Him. He provides for the reightious one. Romans 8:28 “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.” This is my guideline during this hard time. 🙏🙌
@@miriam9775 God is there if we talk to him. One day my ex narcissist was so disgusting mean and sarcastic for no reason. It is true narcissist really hate you. I prayed to God and said God you have jokes. Get this clown out my life. Three weeks later my ex left. We were together over twenty years. Since he left my health approved and everything else. Take a chance and break free from your narcissist. Life is precious and too short.
You said it EXACTLY🙋😕
Any time a video ends with a prayer, it makes my heart happy. Thank you for that!! I've left after over fifty years and am doing well, thanks to hearing that it's not me and I'm NOT crazy as my narc has said for many, many years. God bless you.
I wish this information was available to me 38 years ago. I knew I live with physical abuse but I first heard about a narcissist about 6 months ago…WOW this was 100% my life. I believe true he’ll and then I spent 10 years after a prolonged divorce mourning and wondering how he could so easily let me and out 4 children go and now at 69 years of age I finally understand. I always say better late than never to learn! Thank you for your work! I can tell you without hesitation your children do suffer and turn on you. Mine go back and forth
All absolutely true! I feel so thankful for these clear words. I come out of a horrible 34 years marriage. He insisted on this new affair/girl friend, his porn addiction s were horrible, his silent treatment got worse and worse. Finally, one evening I threw a bug into the sink and said to him: enough is enough, your book title. My health issues disappeared the day he moved out, almost two years ago. I am sooo glad to be able to deepen my relationship with my Lord. And yes, the pastor did NOT get it.
I am a victim of a narcissistic husband. I stumble into your videos today and you are just the messenger sent by God
Not enough Christian counselors have training in narcissism
Christian an non Christian either unfortunately.
Yes.
that is me after 40 years and the financial abuse
he is very big in the church
the church supported him against me and i became the narcissist in their eyes
a narcissist does not change
Thank you Dr Clarke for opening my eyes. This had been me.for the past 29years and today I made a decision to stop entertaining this abuse.
I’ve separated twice from my alcoholic husband. He’s in rehab right now. I have zero desire to ever go back. I want out for good so badly but I am waiting on the Lord to give me the green light. It gives me a lot of anxiety but I know I have to walk through the process and wait.
So sorry you and your kids have been through those horrible times and days.
I felt God it's gave you the green lights put your husband in the Rehab I believe God it's tell you to leave. Praying God's protection for you and your kids🙏 praying God will sending you all the hleps, Finance, Job, strength and encouragement!
In Jesus name Amen.
I knew this video was 2 yrs ago, I hope you and your kids already left that abusive and toxic home and already having a new life!
alcoholics are abusive, horrible to live with
Been putting up with it for 22 years! You are spot on about his abusive behavior! Found out 2yrs ago he was paying prostitutes and escorts before we were married, and porn addict. He has slept with my cousin, my best friend, our babysitter, transvestites when we were on vacation. He lived 2 lives and he's one way in public and another behind closed doors, and I always told him he was a fake! On top of that he was living a double life, emotionally abusive and turned my kids against me! He still shows no empathy, no remorse, no repentance! I don't hardly talk to him, and when he starts tormenting me, I don't say a word and just walk away, while he's still raging ranting and raving!!! Starting to get stronger about leaving him! He doesn't take any accountability or responsibility for his actions and tries to blame me!! It's hilarious!!!
Please leave and get spiritually delivered …so many demons unleashed in your life by this person.
I went through a painful divorce years ago that led - over time to a civil relationship with my ex years later. I was grateful that God healed us both before she died a few months ago. This book would help me to talk to others going through similar circumstances.
I gave too many chances, thru alcoholism and sobriety (where i realized something was really wrong when it didnt get better in his sobriety) and am left now trying to rebuild myself from close to nothing emotionally, mentally and even lost my thumb and have metal in my body now. I wish I'd seen this sooner, however everything happens in good time and I'm so thankful for you 🙏
Tina Turner got sick and tired of being sick and tired there is no excuse for anyone staying in a abuse Tina left with nothing me my self is 74 and Jesus Christ is helping me to love myself i been in 3 toxic relationship do to me chosing the wrong person Jesus Christ is healing me from physical and mental abuse sign Cynthia Smith
How did you lose your thumb and get metal into your body?
IM 52 and I have been with him since I was 16, 3 children, and I'm out. He did all this, silent treatment for weeks, 10 to be exact once, he has been cheating my son now is abusive physically towards me just like his Dad. Thanks for this video, I am healing now. Knowing there are so many people out there who are going through what I did makes me so sad, but you need to get out ASAP.
I'm praying for God to show me the way out
The goal posts keep moving. I kept trying then 30 years down the line enough was enough I thought it's make or break. His addiction is the great outdoors. Nothing else matters. I injured my arm and he'd already made arrangements to go out walking ,I was told to drive myself to hospital, a25 minute drive each way through city traffic with both good arms( I couldn't lift my injured arm)
Narcs WILL NOT care for you when sick / injured. I broke my foot and drove myself to the clinic for a doctors note
This happens between siblings, parent & child too….I’ve gone through both and healing for past 8+ yrs
They are out to destroy your soul! I am a 38 yr narcissistic abusive marriage to an almost 71 yr old husband who gets worse and worse as he ages. The daily insults keep coming unless he plays Mr Nice for a day maybe but of course for not long. He totally denies that he has any anger etc. He is definitely a religious narcissist who has our church members and pastor totally fooled! A definite wolf in sheep’s clothing 😢. Yes I am emotionally wiped out and feeling hopeless even though I am a Believer in Jesus Christ with at times suicidal thoughts in the back of my mind due to feelings hopeless with his emotional and verbal abuse and twisting Biblical scriptures. 😢
ruclips.net/video/liCfTipBKeg/видео.html
Me too. My narc is 73. He's a pretend Christian
💕
Firstly, please call 988 if you have suicidal thoughts and they will help you.
Secondly, when I have negative thoughts that can seriously damage me,
I pray / silently say “I reject that thought in the name of Jesus.” and it goes away.
If it’s not healthy or helpful to me and my loved ones, I reject that stuff in the name of Jesus left and right!
You deserve to have peace.
Just because you think something or you have accepted something the abuser said as truth doesn’t mean it’s actually correct.
You CAN fight back and not just passively accept that bull crud.
Don’t believe the LIES of the enemy because they will not help you live the life Christ has intended for you! 💕
Wow ur situation sounds exactly like mine, just difference is we r in our late 30s and 15 yrs together. 10 yrs medicated for depression, thinking reason was childhood traumas, when cause was in my house. I will pray for u sister, thank you for sharing this...
I would like this book. I cried hearing this
I love that you’re going to do what God is calling you to do Dr Clarke, inspite of what the g@vernment says!
I am doing whatever I want to do, as long as it is biblical. The world needs more of such people desperately! Who just let lead them only by God and not by people. Thank you for your content,
Praise God for you both. Thank you Dr. Clarke.
So true I live with a covert narc after twenty seven yrs he discard me and yes the kids is on his side I am alone I always feel sad I can't find myself I need the help and strength to leave
Thank you for your words - and your pray.
I believe I found your podcast for a reason
My wife was emotionally abused by her father when he got drunk . I'm very aware that if I want a glass of wine I cannot drink it in front of her. When I think she's ok, she's not.
Every thing you said is SO TRUE🥺
Thanks Andy Miller & Dr. Clarke!
I received my book today!!
Is like he was just describing my relationship wow
I wish mine would have went silent! But instead I’m the one that went silent so that I didn’t feed into his mess!
same
My narc husband turned all three of my children against me. I don't know my grandchildren.
😢
Same story with me also. John 10:10, John 14:6 (AV1611KJB).
Been there and share with people my own experience to help them get out of abusive relationships. Can you please post this up to 34:36? I wish to post this on my personal FB with just the main topic. I hope to open others eyes and then offer my assistance as a pastor. And especially his book. This book is needed for victims and pastors. I was not handled well by leadership. They need more training. Thank you for this.
I REALLY APPRECIATE DAVID CLARKE but I would like to add something to what he is sharing. Remember that GOD does NOT always put two people together! The people themselves fall for one another for a number of reasons: an escape from home, immaturity, easily deceived, codependent, needy, a helper, a fixer, abused already before marriage, sexual attraction, physical attraction, financial attraction, loves the spouse & later on finds out she has been duped, when it seems to be much later on, etc. So of course they're going to end up w/ a mess! A REAL MARRIAGE IS SACRED, NOT A FALSE ONE or a ONE SIDED ONE! Yes, God hates divorce but He showed me many years ago that HE HATES all the SINS that were committed against the victim spouse which He knows will cause much bruising, mental anguish, emotional pain, loss of identity, confusion, exhaustion, desperation, PTSD, etc! But the majority of counselors/therapists don't deal w/ that part! But thankfully, David Clarke does! In Mal. 2:15-16-God is rebuking the man for putting away his wife for her fornication & the context is b/c of the continuation of the seed of the man. And throughout the bible there are many places where all these sins are listed that the NARC, ABUSER, are guilty of...in the MARRIAGE! SO YES, THE POOR SPOUSE HAS TO ESCAPE W/ GOD'S BLESSING! God has not called us to HAVE a MARTYR COMPLEX/SYNDROME! HE HAS CALLED US TO THE TRUTH, TO BE LIVING FOR HIM, NOT AN ABUSER, & to serve Him w/ love & freedom!
Church does not understand,makes it worse!yes GOD loves them to! But you can’t live with a narc!
I would love to see an interview of Dr. Clarke with Emerson Eggrich. The later's book is fuel to a narc man in a "christian" marriage.
I think u have saved my life today and put my path with Christ .I been severely emotional 😭 abuse mentally he even starts all the argument says go fuck my dead mother etc agitation if I talk walking on eggshells na
Cant do nothing right he went to jail today 6 months I need to move
Go go go! Do NOT make contact after you leave!!
Please update us! Did you move on? Just said a prayer for you
Love Dr. Clarke. ✌🏼
On my wedding day after the wedding breakfast where my new husband gave a great speach & when shortly after we got into our car (to drive away on our honeymoon,) Before he started the motor he leaned over to me & with his angry red face & vicious words he threatened me saying " if you step out of line just once or even think about it i will come down on you like a ton of bricks, you will wonder what the hell happened to you...What do you think of a male who threatens that to a woman he just married ??
From Brenda
I am curious how common it is for a person with narcissistic traits to claim that their formal spouse was the one that had the traits.
I’m not aware I’m in a marriage or relationship at all.
❤I LOOKED UP SILENT TREATMENT, A BAMMM!!! RABBIT HOLE I GO 😢
How do i find the right lawyer?
Love you ❤
What about if both your parents treated you this way? Am I required to forgive!
YES. Forgiveness is turning over the incident to God. He exchanges the wound/trama/pain for peace/calm/relief. He heals you and metes out His justice the offender on your behalf.
When you forgive, it does not mean things have to go back to the way things were. It could mean permanent separation. But you stillforgive.
Forgive but don't forget. If you have to go no contact with your entire family to keep your sanity, do it. Even if it's for a season, it's healing to get a break from the drama and really seek God during that time. I hope you realize your worth. You don't deserve to be abused. God bless you.
@ Oh, NO! Very bad advice!
❤❤ I ONLY WANT TO LOVE SOMEONE ❤️
Love God with all your heart, soul, and mind. Then, love yourself. You do this and you'll be whole enough for the right relationship. ❤
Thankfully Dr Clarke now tells women to divorce and leave.
What about retaliation also?
I just started watching this video I hope you did talk about it here.
EDIT. By retaliation, I mean, he takes what belongs to me to throw it away in the trash. Or to ruin it.
He, he, he, he. Turned me off straight away! Always say he or she , so you don’t lose half the listeners.
i thought david e clarke was he ceo of chester community charter school #khloesaidit
💯
Forgive or go to hell, isn't that the teaching?
אני רוצה לקנות את הספר הזה, איך אפשר דרך האינטרנט?
Amazon
😢
FUCKING SICK 😢