How to Begin Again | Beverly Willett | TEDxSavannah
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 3 июл 2016
- When life falls apart, humans often resist the natural law of change and grasp even tighter to the past. Sometimes the key to beginning again requires bold, radical action, maybe even a complete 180.
Beverly Willett is a former NYC entertainment attorney who got in her car at midlife, left the Big Apple, and drove south to begin, again. She lives in Savannah and has just completed a memoir. She has written for dozens of the top national newspapers and magazines, including The New York Times, Newsweek, The Washington Post, Salon, The Daily Beast, The Huffington Post, Woman’s Day, Family Circle, All You, Prevention, South and Savannah Magazine. She has spoken nationally on radio, co-founded the Coalition for Divorce Reform, and serves on the board of the Chatham-Savannah Authority for the Homeless. She has two daughters.
This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at ted.com/tedx
I am in the 'terrified' stage of my change. I know it's what I need but I'm scared of failing. Your talk has given me the courage to accept that whatever comes, I'll be ok. Thank you!
I literally just had this talk with my best friend -- and we reminded each other that whatever happens we can still be okay. And you will be. I'm glad you found something useful in the talk for yourself. My best to you!
Good luck to you. I'm sure it's now all looking different.....
Starting over after having eight pistols pointed at me nearly two years ago (long story), and my beloved brother committing suicide last year. Life is beautiful, you just have to truly believe in the power of change when everything seems to be falling apart. I send the best vibes to anyone reading this. Have a blessed day peeps! ✌️
👍 THANKS for sharing . God bless 🙏
Best wishes and success to you......
Thank you ❤️❤️ more life
So sorry for your loss. Keep up the good Spirit!
@@tonynewman597 Thank you very much!! 🙏🏿
Such a beautiful honest talk. Straight from the heart. I have read "when the student is ready, the teacher appears," and this talk reinforced that.
I'd forgotten that quote -- true. Thank you Silvia.
We are kindred spirits. Life challenged me in a very different way, but transformed me from a very confident, assertive businesswoman to a puddle of primordial stew that I had no idea how to resurrect. I remember going to a counselor and saying, "I want things back the way they were!" And he said, "Things will never be the way they were." That was a seminal moment in my life. What I didn't know is that I was resisting the inevitable: change. Once I released myself from that bondage, I was free. I can't say that I had all of the answers, but it gave me the courage to live life without all of the answers. I loved your talk. You get it. Thank you.
Hello I am interested in you
The fewer items that you own, the fewer items that own you.
I saved this video because I know I will be revisiting it a few more times.
Married for almost 25 years... left Puerto Rico and moved to N.C... starting over was the most difficult move I have ever made in my life. I have let go and removed myself from the stage of "fixing" cause it never got fixed. May God bless and guide all those who are going through this.
Amen... thank you! So far so good... thanks be to God
So many of us try and be endless fixers. Glad you were able to get through and start a new life!
it has been very difficult financially and now I am dating... I never expected it to be fun at my age. I'm loving to be in total control on who I choose. God bless you Beverly
Best wishes to you from someone else new to NC.
please don't discourage okay, how are you doing
I'm currently obsessed with the idea of leaving my life behind and doing what this brave woman did. It sure resonated with me when she said that when you leave your lifelong home, you had better leave it quickly. So true! I cannot imagine leaving my life in a slow, organized fashion. It would have to be really quick, like ripping off a band-aid.
MBaxter22 I wish you well! I think the key to my finally being able to do that is because I'd done all the prep work leading up to it -- and then it became easy and inevitable and so clear that that was the next (and wise) thing to do.
This is leaving me in tears. Can someone help me start over. I feel so tired in my body. Married to an unsupportive man at 18, had 3kids. Endured 18 years of dry marriage. All feel apart because I aspire education n a life of my own. I put my school via a degree n now feeling stuck starting life all over n alone. I believe I deserve love n some one needs my love.
Sometimes we all need a good cry. I understand that feeling of being bone tired. Loving yourself first will help you find the courage inside to start over. My best to you.
Set goals and achieve them, this will give you confidence. Look at your former relationship, maybe your X had been slowly dismantling your confidence and putting you down. This must be worked through. I am successful because I never married. Embrace being single. Single women are happier than married women. Get a therapist.
Stay positive... try setting some professional and personal goals... and keep moving on...... time heals everything.. have faith.
The person needing your LOVE is YOU❤🙏
I totally feel you right now. I have never loved myself though and don’t feel capable of it. I’m not even sure I understand fully what that means
Starting over many times from a laundry list of things of many events. Some people never experience the gravity of even a handful of the trauma, while others can totally relate. I think ive started over so many times, that NOT starting over would feel foreign. But i dont like to lose or give up. Its not over til its over. Fall down seven times, get up eight -so its said.
This is spectacular, beautiful, breath-taking - I'm shocked there are only 6300 views.
Everyone needs to see this.
See and hear Beverly Willett.
Love these TEDTalks, have yet to see/hear a bad one.
Beverly Willett has us from the jump - what courage, brilliance and heart.
Thanks Beverly, needed this today.
Thank you Randy. It wasn't easy, but giving this talk was one of the best -- and most challenging things -- I've done. It helped crystallize, too, so many of my thoughts about my experience. I appreciate your comments.
She has a really soft and calming voice. God bless her.
Ah, nobody ever told me that. Thank you. God bless you too.
Yeah... We thank God for everything in life even in bad condition
Thank you Beverly, these are insights that you've gained from pain, experience and hope.
They sure are. But at least something positive came out of them!
i watched this video over and over again...
this enlightened my cluttered life so much
+8801302024130 i want to talk to you
Most people run from pain. That comfort zone is like living dormant.
You got it.
What an amazingly delightful and powerful message. Thank you Beverly Willett. You inspire me so much!
Thank you for this. I really needed this today! Oh the fear of change and to become unattached is a hard process to break through but you made it make total sense and reachable 🙏
XO So happy to help and connect
Hello how are you
relationship is just about practice
Always need a reminder of the importance of letting go and it would be delightful to sit in the rafters with you. Congratulations.
Likewise!
We are attached to things in a profound way. I am happy that you were the one who made the choice of breaking from the toxic parts of the past, and i'm happy that you kept the healthy parts, the cards and love notes you received from your children over the years.
I wasn't as lucky when the things I held dear for decades were tossed out by somebody who wasn't even relevant to my life. I am now dealing with my loss by detaching beauty and meaning from every memory which was there in the relics of my past.
I didn't have the choice of ridding myself from them, so when the past left unexpectedly, beauty and meaning became toxic and torturous and I found no other way but severing the emotional ties with them as quick as possible, and I am still in the process.
We need to keep mobilizing our skills of survival no matter what,whether to counter the bad effects of an unexpected change, or to embrace the good effects when change is invited.
Thank you for sharing your experience for it helped me, in this brief moment, to find a narrative to describe mine.
Wow!! You truly hit home with me & my situation. Have you ever considered doing a TED talk?
Sorry to hear about your losses. I hope & pray you are in a better place now.
How does this have so few views, likes and comments? This was a fantastic TED talk!
You are SO kind! Thank you. Please share if you have the time and thanks again.
+8801302024130 i want to talk to you
I wish you found your happiness without the pain, but understand that pain is sometimes necessary, although it is nearly impossible to believe while in its midst, for change. Your message, by God’s grace, was inspirational not only because I too am ending a 30 year marriage, but we are the same age. My age was, and is the thing that scared me most about accepting all of this. Then, glory to God, I remembered it’s never been my x or my youth that supported me, it’s always been God. I made the mistake of depending on a man instead of his Creator. God bless your journey, guide you to Him, and keep peace and happiness in your life and heart.
Yes, age is a scary thing when you contemplate starting all over again! I detail my journey in greater detail in my recently released memoir, "Disassembly Required," in case you're interested in learning more. Suffering is often, if not always, the pathway. I can already tell you're going to do great although it will be hard and heartbreaking at times. I'm excited for you and my prayers are with you.
@@beverlywillett9142 Thank you.
A wonderful message of hope and healing...
Yes you're right...and i agree with you👍
WOW!!! This speaks to my current state ive learned from this season in my life its ok to sit and regroup but you have to get up and move forward..Change is good. I really needed to hear this I am grateful Beverly Willett
Janice, I'm so glad you found this useful. Enjoy the stillness.
Thank you Beverly
Very inspirational...thankyou for sharing😘
I love this. Thank you so much. You are simply beautiful my friend
Thanks so much Abby! I appreciate it.
Oh man, what a timely talk. I’m packing right now and leaving my 19 year marriage (not by choice). I’m leaving a nice house and job and moving 1800 miles to a less than perfect city and neighborhood. Everything I thought was predicable and solid is now liquid. I’m floating in liquid to an unknown future. I will change....and I will make it!
Good luck to you!
I've left an 11 year relationship (also not by choice) because of my desire to work in another country and make something of myself. I've applied and am waiting to hear back! I can't move out yet due to finances but when the time comes you best believe I'll be leaving.
@@almt1486 Good luck to you also! Believe in yourself! I’m gonna check up on you!
@@bro7269 I will try, thank you! I hope everything works out for you too. ☺️
@Wahfreak How are you? "floating in liquid to an unknown future" -- what a wild way to describe it. You're so brave! I'm rooting for you!
@@almt1486 Wow! Hoping you heard back with good news. Brave time to take this leap overseas. I'm rooting for you too!
Thank you!
Such a beautiful speech I absolutely adore this and I needed this!!!
Best ted talk ever
WOW! Thank you! I can't even express how much this one video helped me! Thank you!
You're so welcome.
All girls and women must understand that termination of marriage can occur any time in life due to various causes like sickness, accidents and betrayal due to bad behavior of one of the partner. No want to lead life of denial, insecurity and due to external interference.
A smart and wise and mega-heart woman. You're beautiful, Beverly...
Cheers David. Thank you - - very kind you are.
Thank you for your insightful words,i needed to hear this as im also going through a scary phase of change.
Thank you! And best of luck!
Wow. She touched on governmental policy! If only governmens and people do what she said, change our frame of reference then we can come up with new solutions that will kill all the isms this world is experiencing. Great talk lady! Good luck with everything!
She really tells it like it is, loss paralyzes, we prolong our own suffering and inertia, we cling to the old life bits. Freeing yourself is hard but necessary. House for sale! Finding the deep, real me. Leap to some place warmer.
It took me a long time to process and put it all in motion. Appreciate your thoughts and insights Kathleen!
Very encouraging and timely. Thank you
Thank you. You're welcome.
I needed this right now. Thank you!
You're say welcome @Ana Lockett. I hope you're doing well!
Fantastic and inspiring 😊
Loved this 💕 Brilliant 💜
Needed this!!
Thanks Katie. My best to you!
Thank you
You're most welcome David. Thank you for watching.
Twow I love this talk thank you
Thank YOU Sef!
SUPER!!!!! I was so inspired!!!!!
Thank you so much. You are inspiring too! I always had my nose in a book in second grade too! By the way my first book is coming out in July based on the journey in my Tedx Talk that you were inspired by. I'd be honored to be interviewed by you when it comes out!
Very empowering!
So glad you found it helpful. Cheers.
Powerful!
Thanks!
Amazingly inspirational
Thank you for that needed to listen to this....
Thanks so much Ranaadel. I'd hoped it would find people who would find it helpful. Cheers and best wishes.
right to the heart
You're welcome. Thank you.
+8801302024130 i want to talk to you
Hello how are you doing hope you are fine
How are you doing can will talk in private
I lost 60,000$ most money I ever had last week. Starting over again. No strength right now, but no other choice other than to keep going.
You will. Gather your strength first. Hoping you're well.
Wow just wow!
Thanks Diane. There's more in my recent memoir "Disassembly Required" if you're interested.
@@beverlywillett9142 absolutely!
U r a brave lady. I m still going through tremendous pain from inside. I have cut ties from my ill treating husband but my two sons r with my hysband who has poisoned their mind against me. They dont talk to me, dont even bother to reply my message. How to convey them that their father was wrong in abusing me mentally , physically and emotionally . How to tell them their mother is not wrong and they r seeing only the side which is spoken to them by their father . My husband completely ruined me not only he has kept the children but also financially .
Harpreet, my heart breaks for you. Even now I have moments of pain, 18 years later. These roots are deep. I often sat in the place of emotional pain where you are sitting. Control what you can. Sometimes you can't tell people things, you can only show them. Reveal to them a strong, healed, vibrant you; take one step at a time. You are not ruined. It is hard slow work, but you are stronger and braver than you know.
Your ex sounds like a narcissist. They are horrible people; educate yourself. Lisa A. Romano is my favorite life coach. She is on RUclips. Watch and learn how to overcome narcissistic abuse and family dysfunction. It’s NOT your fault!
Good luck and blessings to you. 🙏
3:18 ‘what is urn on the stoop’ meaning?
Thank you 🙏 👏 💕
You are most welcome! :)
I know of a man who helped me bring back my ex back he can also help you just as he did mine, he does a perfect work I'm assuring you, you gonna testify❤️❤️
He was the one who helped me restore back my ex 3 days ago without delay 🌹🌹
Whtsapp him"**
±2349068420048⏭⏭💕💕
Welcome sweetheart
my whole life I thought all is well as long as my kids are well, 1 kid died and I did not have a plan b
Ali, I'm so sorry. Most of us don't have a plan B at the ready.
The American Dream is now made in another country.
3:40...hold on....thinking it WILL KEEP US SAFE......💔😥.....the natural law of change...ALL THINGS CHANGE!!
6:40******
7:09*******
How long does it take for the crying all day long and not having energy to leave my bed take? I’m so devastated after 14 years of marriage and my husband left me for someone else. we have 4 kids
I know it will always hurt but I would like to get to the point that I can semi function again
I understand how you feel and I'm also in the same condition😭😭
Yes leap very important
So true!
+Beverly Willett Love and aloha!
Hello how are you doing I am interested in you here is my number +237679830125
yeah, how are you doing,please can will talk in private
They should allow assisted death if there is no help for you no support no family no close friends isolation for my whole life.
I am embarrassed to be alive. I mean my wntire being. I was raised on toxic shame. Now 60 years old and the world is moving towards totalitarianism among other thing. I am alone and I have no rope to grab.
I literally do not remember how hope "feels" and honestly Im too afraid to even try.
Beleive me I have tried it all . Live in a rural area and work an odd shift. I am so beaten down that there is very little life force left to interview for a job or move. I am also filled with fear... constantly.
Divorcing my hubby after one year. Its not worth it
There´s no need for the scream of the audience at the end.
I think they were just applauding. But hope you found something useful. Best.
waste of time again
I know of a man who helped me bring back my ex back he can also help you just as he did mine, he does a perfect work I'm assuring you, you gonna testify❤️❤️
He was the one who helped me restore back my ex 3 days ago without delay 🌹🌹
Whtsapp him"**
±2349068420048⏭⏭💕💕
That belt though.... nah girl ! 🤦♀️
They asked me to wear it so they'd have something to attach the mic to. But I hoped you found something helpful in the talk!
Beverly Willett very elegant reply
Why did he leave you? Did you try to rake him over the coals? It takes 2.
It takes two to make it work. But one can have the ability to tear it all down.
Thank you
You bet Lisa! Thank you!
Hello how are you doing I am interested in you here is my number +237679830125
how are you doing,please can will talk in private