@TheCoachDanny Well, keep in mind this is just my perception of it. But for me it was the objectifying . Its very easy to forget there is still an actual human being using the app. I had to remind myself quite often that most people on there weren't trying to get to know me for me.
People can be incredibly cruel on there and the unfortunate thing is that it is often Gay men or DL guys who have a lot of insecurities. I hope you don't believe them!
you don't have control over all the clowns on "dating" sites but you do have control over your reaction to them. Maybe stop giving people that kind of power over you; worked for me...
I understand where you are coming from with that but I approach it with more compassion and empathy. For many of us, we are closeted and DL for a portion of our life and therefore, labeling someone as "weak" without having a full understanding of their situation is a reflection of our own internal issues with it. That's just my opinion!
As someone who has always struggled with weight and body image, but also made a decision to go for a strong ho phase in my early twenties, I have a complicated relationship with Grindr. I've also met some really interesting and amazing people on there... but there are definitely more issues than benefits if you are looking for a healthy, long-term relationship. It really is all about balance.
I agree with you! I believe life is about balance and I have definitely met some cool people on Grindr because I was intentional with my interactions, however, I still stand by my opinion of it not being a good place to find love.
Thank you very much for the valuable video. I am glad that it was said out loud how this app differs from a dating app and how negatively it can affect you if we do not use it properly. While watching I came up with an idea for an episode for you (I do not know if it already exists or if you have thought about it). Another interesting topic is the difference in the number of passive and active people (the latter group is smaller and more desirable to passive people). In my experience I have encountered a lot of rejections and treated very objectively when writing to active people. I noticed over time that I am expected to shave my beard, be shorter, thinner, more shaved, younger, etc. I am currently 30 years old and I notice that there is no longer a place for me on this app as a passive person, so I am trying to build my self-confidence and avoid this app in order to open up to meeting people in a different way in the future. Of course, this is just my experience and I do not want to generalize anything here. If you found this an interesting topic, it would be great to see what you think about it. Regards and good luck with the channel! ❤
0:05sec in, and i can already say with total confidence that Grindr ruined my confidence and any hopes of ever being part of a loving and lasting life partnership.
I'm so sorry that has been your experience. Grindr can absolutely destroy a persons self-confidence. I noticed that a lot of the comments you left were quite negative (outlook on dating, self-perception, etc.) If you ever wanted to discuss those things 1:1 I'd be happy to support you.
@TheCoachDanny it is something that I need, but can't afford. I've needed something like it for years now, but my own Financial situation and my own self-destructive tendencies have made me deny myself this
Thank you so much for this! Your words brought me to tears because I’ve been using Grindr for most of my gay life. Which is more than 2 decades and I’ve experienced everything you said. I almost lost a great man because I couldn’t commit to him. Now I’m a shallow of a person trying to find true self with my partner because I’ve been so used to the transient superficial lifestyle Grindr provides. I had become cold hearted and didn’t notice how bad of a path I was on. Not sure if you speak Spanish but this information would be amazing in Spanish as well.
Wow, thank you so much for sharing this. It takes a lot of courage to reflect on yourself like that, and it’s such a big step toward real change. I’m glad the video resonated with you-it sounds like you’re on a powerful journey of rediscovering yourself and building something meaningful with your partner. That’s huge, and I hope you give yourself credit for the work you’re doing. 🙌 I do speak Spanish, but I need to brush up on it a little bit! I’ll definitely keep that in mind for future content. Thanks for the suggestion, and I’m wishing you all the best on this path!
Yes and thank you for being so sympathetic and understanding with your choice of words. You’re a special type of person that was sent here to help us like an angel. You deserve nothing but the best in life for what you do.❤❤
I agree with you, however, the app itself has created a lot of options that lends itself to more "sexual interactions" opposed to wholesome connection.
I have been using the app for a while now, and I couldn't agree more with all the things you just said!!! I am over it, and I hate myself for going back and not really have the guts and stop using it
It's great you realized the app is no longer serving you, but don't allow yourself to have self-hatred for using it. Many of us have used the App before and regardless of how toxic it can be, it can also lead to great friendships, sometimes relationships, and teach you lessons.
Never been on it. I can't miss what I never had. There is a big difference between being lonely, and being alone. I prefer the latter. I just don't need the attention that I found in the past. Life has never been more peaceful.
I would have been interested in his advice on good alternatives. Other apps that are better or tips on meeting people in person etc. my experience has been that pretty much any dating app for gay men becomes a hookup app anyway.
I hear what you're saying and I think a big part of that is how it's used. The apps are a tool, the people are the ones that decide how to navigate or use that tool. In my opinion, apps like Hinge are geared towards more serious dating. There are also apps like Fever for events going on in your city or surrounding cities!
By the way: it doesn’t matter how attractive you are. I was incredibly popular on that app, but the whole labeling made me feel like shit cause people wanted me to be something I’m not. It’s the apps nature to turn you into something you’re not
@@TheCoachDanny I look way more cute than hot so a ton of people were trying to push me into being submissive (which is synonymous with bottom on that app - in real life it isn't). I'm naturally a very assertive person so I absolutely hated that and it messed with my perception of myself a lot. I typically know who I am and how I present to the world, but when 10 people a day want to take that power from you it starts getting to you
I'm sorry to hear that! Unfortunately, blocking is a tactic that a lot of avoidant individuals use. I can understand why you gave up if you're being blocked all the time, however, might I suggest moving to a platform that is geared towards more intentional dating? Have you tried other dating apps?
@@TheCoachDanny they sometimes harass me they wanna hookup with me when I say no. And when I say no, I get called racist names. For example, I said no to a chubby guy and he called me a sand nigger due to my south Asian heritage.
Oh my gosh! I am so sorry to hear that. Unfortunately, there are a lot of people on hookup apps that have low self-esteem and therefore, they do not handle rejection very well.
@@TheCoachDanny agreed, that comment made to me on Grindr was racist as a brown guy. It was because I wasn't into Chubby guys, which obviously was not a good response, but him calling me the N word was not great either. Thanks for the reply btw
Giving up Grindr was the best decision I ever made. My confidence and mental health improved drastically.
I'm so happy to hear this! What would you say was the "worst" part of using Grindr?
@TheCoachDanny Well, keep in mind this is just my perception of it. But for me it was the objectifying . Its very easy to forget there is still an actual human being using the app.
I had to remind myself quite often that most people on there weren't trying to get to know me for me.
I was called ugly so many times on that platform that I have stopped using it for years.
People can be incredibly cruel on there and the unfortunate thing is that it is often Gay men or DL guys who have a lot of insecurities. I hope you don't believe them!
you don't have control over all the clowns on "dating" sites but you do have control over your reaction to them. Maybe stop giving people that kind of power over you; worked for me...
@@TheCoachDanny DL men are weak men. Avoid!
I understand where you are coming from with that but I approach it with more compassion and empathy. For many of us, we are closeted and DL for a portion of our life and therefore, labeling someone as "weak" without having a full understanding of their situation is a reflection of our own internal issues with it. That's just my opinion!
Me too
I found this at the right time. This was very helpful and impactful for where I am right now in life.
I'm glad you found it helpful!
As someone who has always struggled with weight and body image, but also made a decision to go for a strong ho phase in my early twenties, I have a complicated relationship with Grindr. I've also met some really interesting and amazing people on there... but there are definitely more issues than benefits if you are looking for a healthy, long-term relationship. It really is all about balance.
I agree with you! I believe life is about balance and I have definitely met some cool people on Grindr because I was intentional with my interactions, however, I still stand by my opinion of it not being a good place to find love.
This is Valueble. Thankyou.
You are very welcome!
Thank you very much for the valuable video. I am glad that it was said out loud how this app differs from a dating app and how negatively it can affect you if we do not use it properly. While watching I came up with an idea for an episode for you (I do not know if it already exists or if you have thought about it). Another interesting topic is the difference in the number of passive and active people (the latter group is smaller and more desirable to passive people). In my experience I have encountered a lot of rejections and treated very objectively when writing to active people. I noticed over time that I am expected to shave my beard, be shorter, thinner, more shaved, younger, etc. I am currently 30 years old and I notice that there is no longer a place for me on this app as a passive person, so I am trying to build my self-confidence and avoid this app in order to open up to meeting people in a different way in the future. Of course, this is just my experience and I do not want to generalize anything here. If you found this an interesting topic, it would be great to see what you think about it. Regards and good luck with the channel! ❤
Thank you so much for sharing that! I will definitely create an episode about this.
I'm so glad you made this video!
Glad you enjoyed it!
0:05sec in, and i can already say with total confidence that Grindr ruined my confidence and any hopes of ever being part of a loving and lasting life partnership.
I'm so sorry that has been your experience. Grindr can absolutely destroy a persons self-confidence. I noticed that a lot of the comments you left were quite negative (outlook on dating, self-perception, etc.) If you ever wanted to discuss those things 1:1 I'd be happy to support you.
@TheCoachDanny i appreciate that but I'm in illinois and unfortunately cannot afford even basic therapy or mental Healthcare
@TheCoachDanny it is something that I need, but can't afford. I've needed something like it for years now, but my own Financial situation and my own self-destructive tendencies have made me deny myself this
Thank you so much for this! Your words brought me to tears because I’ve been using Grindr for most of my gay life. Which is more than 2 decades and I’ve experienced everything you said. I almost lost a great man because I couldn’t commit to him. Now I’m a shallow of a person trying to find true self with my partner because I’ve been so used to the transient superficial lifestyle Grindr provides. I had become cold hearted and didn’t notice how bad of a path I was on. Not sure if you speak Spanish but this information would be amazing in Spanish as well.
Wow, thank you so much for sharing this. It takes a lot of courage to reflect on yourself like that, and it’s such a big step toward real change. I’m glad the video resonated with you-it sounds like you’re on a powerful journey of rediscovering yourself and building something meaningful with your partner. That’s huge, and I hope you give yourself credit for the work you’re doing. 🙌
I do speak Spanish, but I need to brush up on it a little bit! I’ll definitely keep that in mind for future content. Thanks for the suggestion, and I’m wishing you all the best on this path!
Yes and thank you for being so sympathetic and understanding with your choice of words. You’re a special type of person that was sent here to help us like an angel. You deserve nothing but the best in life for what you do.❤❤
Thank you so much! That's very kind of you. :)
i belive grindr is what you make it and put out there. i remember ten years ago grindr alot of guy were intrested in dating
I agree with you, however, the app itself has created a lot of options that lends itself to more "sexual interactions" opposed to wholesome connection.
I have been using the app for a while now, and I couldn't agree more with all the things you just said!!!
I am over it, and I hate myself for going back and not really have the guts and stop using it
It's great you realized the app is no longer serving you, but don't allow yourself to have self-hatred for using it. Many of us have used the App before and regardless of how toxic it can be, it can also lead to great friendships, sometimes relationships, and teach you lessons.
Never been on it. I can't miss what I never had. There is a big difference between being lonely, and being alone. I prefer the latter. I just don't need the attention that I found in the past. Life has never been more peaceful.
That seems like a great outlook!
💯. Makes me feel shit
If you wouldn't mind sharing, what about he app or the experience made you feel like shit?
I would have been interested in his advice on good alternatives. Other apps that are better or tips on meeting people in person etc. my experience has been that pretty much any dating app for gay men becomes a hookup app anyway.
I hear what you're saying and I think a big part of that is how it's used. The apps are a tool, the people are the ones that decide how to navigate or use that tool. In my opinion, apps like Hinge are geared towards more serious dating. There are also apps like Fever for events going on in your city or surrounding cities!
By the way: it doesn’t matter how attractive you are. I was incredibly popular on that app, but the whole labeling made me feel like shit cause people wanted me to be something I’m not. It’s the apps nature to turn you into something you’re not
You are absolutely right. If you don't mind me asking, what was your experience with the labeling?
@@TheCoachDanny I look way more cute than hot so a ton of people were trying to push me into being submissive (which is synonymous with bottom on that app - in real life it isn't). I'm naturally a very assertive person so I absolutely hated that and it messed with my perception of myself a lot. I typically know who I am and how I present to the world, but when 10 people a day want to take that power from you it starts getting to you
I mostly get blocked non stop so I just gave up
I'm sorry to hear that! Unfortunately, blocking is a tactic that a lot of avoidant individuals use. I can understand why you gave up if you're being blocked all the time, however, might I suggest moving to a platform that is geared towards more intentional dating? Have you tried other dating apps?
@ I’m taking permanent hiatus from apps and just going to do my own thing
If that's what you feel you need, makes total sense!
I don’t understand why so many gays still use a Grindr as a hookup app, hoping to find true love? 😱
I hear you, but for many people it's the only app available with higher quantity of men based on their geographical location
lol, I listen to this 2x
as many times as you need! ;)
I definitely agree, especially with a lot of chubby and older guys
What would you say the experience is for chubby and older guys?
@@TheCoachDanny they sometimes harass me they wanna hookup with me when I say no. And when I say no, I get called racist names. For example, I said no to a chubby guy and he called me a sand nigger due to my south Asian heritage.
Oh my gosh! I am so sorry to hear that. Unfortunately, there are a lot of people on hookup apps that have low self-esteem and therefore, they do not handle rejection very well.
@@TheCoachDanny agreed, that comment made to me on Grindr was racist as a brown guy. It was because I wasn't into Chubby guys, which obviously was not a good response, but him calling me the N word was not great either. Thanks for the reply btw
Thank YOU for sharing. :)
Grindr is toxic!
I agree, the environment can be quite toxic!