Not quite everything, not all women are golddigging whores and not all guys are cheaters, me and my fiancee are prime examples of the term "exceptions to the rules"
Eddie Murphy didnt tolerate thots and his back then. No man should now. Dont even bother with females, they rarely give a shit about you or your struggles.
For the person who is reading this message, know that God loves you and that he wants you to be saved and happy, nothing in this world like money, fun or popularity can fill the emptiness in your heart, but only his son Jesus who died for you can fill you, you who might not know about him, he knows you more than yourself, you who turned your back to him, he is still waiting for you with his arms open to receive you again, you who fought against him and had done things that are unforgivable in your eyes, he will always see you as his son and he already paid the price for all your sins, even if the world doesn’t forgive you, all that you need is God and everything will be alright, so trust God and only God, no one else, repent from your sins and never go back to them, and the most important thing is that you accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and savior with your voice and your heart, when you do all these things, pray to God and read the Bible(Christian Bible not a Catholic since the Catholic one might’ve changed the word of God to something that it is not God’s word but men’s, so read a christian Bible) so that you get to know God, and when you pray ask God to guide you so that you always walk in his righteousness and that he gives you strength so you don’t fall to sin, and don’t just say I am a Christian and never read your bible or end up not praying, build a relationship with God, read the Bible, fast and pray and be his son not only in words but also in your actions, please listen to this message, today God has showed you grace, to you who might be depressed, empty, are being hated or hates, or maybe you don’t receive genuine love, even you who enjoys or is comfortable with his current life, whoever you who is reading this is, know that God is calling you to give you a future and a hope, in this life and in the eternal life, trust him because he loves you so much that you can’t even understand it, and the time is short, after this message you might day or Jesus might return, so be ready and follow him, for today he stretched his hand to you because he loves you and cares for you, and he doesn’t want you to go to hell, so please go to him, I promise you that it will be the best decision you will do in your entire existence and that God will free you from anything that hurts you, take the love and hope the Lord is giving you and be free, for the best future for your life is in his hands, please make the right choice, for today God has stretched his hand to you who he loves so much that he even died for knowing all the bad things you have done, that is how much love he has and will always have for you, and please if you have a way to contact the people on this video please send them this message, it might not seem like it but some people really need hope and God can change or save someone’s life and give hope to the hopeless by you just sending them this message, thank you for reading, God Bless you always❤️
@@quintinbanks5036 And, in many women's and, even worse, court's mind, her putting her 70 dollars with his 300 million entitles her to at least half of the 300 million because she "contributed".
So I did the math.. 10 years = 8,650 days, which is 87,600 hours total. If you hired an escort for $100 an hour in 10 years it'll be $8,760,000. This is no where near $150 million.
That's the terrifying thing about it. This was decades ago when we didn't have the internet to spread social diseases like modern feminism which makes everything it touches worse. Nowadays? I can only imagine...
+Sgt Baker He never did "Homophobic" comedy. He did comedy about gays, just like he did comedy about blacks, whites, asian and italians. Whats the matter, he can pick on every race and subject but if he does one about gays, he's a homophobe? This is why no one takes you gays seriously. lol!!
You can immediately tell who's a Millennial and born in the middle to late 1980's. They only refer to Dave Chappelle as the token Black "legend". They're lazy....don't research.... and jump on the "popular" trend. Anyone born before 1980 knows Eddie Murphy and his friend Michael Jackson RULED the 1980's. But, more importantly: THEY WERE PIONEERS. They created opportunities for Black entertainers which were previously non-existent. And before Eddie, it was Richard Pryor. I'm so glad I experienced this era, IN REAL TIME.
@@domarq I think Pryor gets overhyped, he’s still a top 10 comedian of all time, but there’s others ahead of him. For black comedians I think Chapelle comes first, then Eddie second, then probably Cosby. Then Pryor, Patrice O’Neal, and Chris Rock.
The older I get the more I am thinking it to be a miracle that any 25 year old man can have this degree of insight. I am 60 now but could easily have fell into the traps he talks about when I was still in my 50's. Great comedians are also life coaches without even trying.
Paul McCartney was worth 600mil at the time and only paid her 24 mil...he pretty much won, since he can make that money back within the year. He either had great lawyers or the judge was a Beatles fan...or both.
Amen...that's why any man that gets me to say I Do gotta sign a prenup...that you don't trust me lyrics will not work with me...marriage and money don't mix...you got yours, I got mine and what we build together is ours...period. ..
Prenups can be beneficial to women too. "What's mine's mine; what's yours' yours; includes assets and liabilities." Contracts, including prenups, are supposed to benefit both parties.
Lmaoo the fact that there’s men that spend their time on the internet trying to bash a woman they never met, is more of a problem than me laughing and agreeing with a joke. 😂
We're at the point where marriage offers no tangible benefits for men at all. I'd love to hear someone explain to me what actual benefits men get out of the arrangement.
this is by far one of the most legendary Bits ever... the amount of truth in this is amazing and it really shines a light on how in 30 years not much has changed. Gold Digging whores are still a problem.
I believe what Eddie makes a great commedian is the fact that everything he says is connected from the beginning to the end the whole story every word every sentence is connected is like listening to a novel all the events are connected he doesen't jumps from one subject to another he does not change the subject he starts with one character and leads him through the whole process the narrative the characters the plot he does not jumps to conclusions to fast its a long joke as long as a book it is funny and as time goes by it is getting funnier untill he gets to the end and shits explode from being funny and that's what makes him so great at telling jokes.
Lol, when he mimicked the women saying she deserved that money, his gestures and voice was so funny! He is the best Mimic whether it’s everyday people or celebrities. Lol “I contributed 70 dollars to your 300 million, and now we have 300 million 70 dollars, cause I want to contribute. Lol! And he just makes voices up. So funny.
It's a very simple thing to ask of a partner yet I've met a lot of men who get offended when I tell them I only date guys with a job. I actually had to break up with my last boyfriend because he expected me to support him financially, wtf. People are too sensitive nowadays.
Eddie mentioned he thinks it's fair for the wife to get half if the couple built their fortune together during the marriage. Which was the case with Amazon. Both of them created the company and built it up to be what it is now. She was like an early shareholder so she rightfully earned the money she got in the divorce settlement.
@@dunnotck1 I agree. She didn't just jump on board once Amazon was a tycoon. His ex was with him since before the beginning and helped him start it. Pretty sure she was Amazon's first official employee as Jeff's accountant/bookkeeper.
Paul's ex never took half. Paul pretty much won the case, since he was worth 600mil at the time and the bitch took 24 mil. She probably used that to pay the lawyers and obviously it got taxed, so I doubt she even had over 10mil in the bank.
THEY JUST GOT ANOTHER ONE! Blake Griffin reportedly ordered to pay $258K a month in child support . Women are on here telling men, "Just don't marry the wrong one". But money and emotions will make ANY woman the "wrong" one.
And he just married another one! Obviously, he's the wrong one who can't get marriage right with multiple women. They say that the 3rd one's the charm. She's his 3rd (4th?). He's her 2nd. When a man finds a wife, he has found a treasure! For she is the gift of God to bring him joy and pleasure. But the one who divorces a good woman loses what is good from his house. To choose an adulteress is both stupid and ungodly. - Proverbs 18:22 TPT JESUS: “Your ancestors have been taught, ‘Never commit adultery.’ However, I say to you, if you look with lust in your eyes at the body of a woman who is not your wife, you’ve already committed adultery in your heart. If your right eye seduces you to fall into sin, then go blind in your right eye! For you’re better off losing sight in one eye than to have your whole body thrown into hell. And if your right hand entices you to sin, let it go limp and useless! For you’re better off losing a part of your body than to have it all thrown into hell. “It has been said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife must give her legal divorce papers.’ However, I say to you, if anyone divorces his wife for any reason, except for infidelity, he causes her to commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.” (Matthew 5:27-32 TPT)
I'm a woman , a feminist, and I agree 100% that in the case of a breakup each party should keep what they had going into the relationship. Also in 90% of cases alimony is insulting and ridiculous. Just wanted to throw it out there that not all, or even most, women are gold diggers. If you're only meeting these ridiculous women, rather than venting your male rage on the Internet, change what you look for in a woman.
He's spot on. The more I hear from American men about the state of affairs there re: marriage, money, alimony, divorce and child support the more shocked I am that anybody there gets married at all. You blokes in The States get absolutely shafted, it's unbelievable. I don't think most people have the foggiest idea what your legal system and divorce courts are like.
I'm convinced he was talking about Charlotte Lewis, his co-star from The Golden Child. She was 19 when the movie was filmed and they did date briefly. And yeah, she was absolutely gorgeous.
let say that her job was to be his wife .... lets skip the job description and look straight into the payment. there is 365 days in a year. number of days in 10 year are 3650 days. 150 million was taken as a compensation for the break up .... $150 million divided by 3650 days = (equals) $41 thousands a day!!!!! let put this into perspective: $41 thousand a day is about $1700 an hour. O.o is it worth it?!
That's outrageous enough but you're not even accounting for the non-monetary benefits he paid for and she enjoyed in the mean time (housing, transportation, you name it) yet. Add that on top of it.
High end escorts take 1000 or 1500 a night. That's fulfilling ALL your fantasies every day of the week for 10 years while doing cocaine and drinking the best liquor in town.
+Im a Fox starting your own family doesn't mean marriage. You don't need to get the law and the state involved in your relationship. You forfeit many rights when you get married, as a man. Don't even do it for tax purposes. What does that tell you, the fact that being married affects your taxes? That it's a business. You don't mix money with "love. Marriage should belong strictly to homosexuals, I don't even know why straight men do it because the institution of marriage was designed to fuck a man in the ass.
PermanentHigh That's what I was thinking. I don't want a bunch of people I don't know dealing with my personal affairs. No contract but will most likely say we are married.
+Im a Fox If you walk around saying you're married or you call the girl your wife and you live together, to the state you're pretty much married. it's called common law marriage. Your best bet is to watch your mouth and have the girl you live with pay rent. Even if you give her back the money somehow. But with legal documentation that she's a tenant, you won't get fucked by the state.
That truly depicts what happened to him. And she was all about beauty etc so he should've known better. Too bad she got a big chunk in the end. Really not fair. Fucked up system.
The funny thing is like he didn't marry the mother of his 2 children and possibly the best women in his life for years. I don't know why they broke up, but Vanessa Paradie(?) even defended him, while the whole thing with Amber Heard was going on. I don't think he will ever marry again, after the whole fuck up
The Bezos's situation is exactly what he explains at 1:53 - Bezos did not marry his wife when he already was a billionaire. They in fact started and built Amazon together, so she rightfully deserved half of the company.
This is not comedy, this is the best lesson of life you can get! I followed his "advice" and never got married so i never ever payed a dime to my ex girlfriends.
I love the way he does the man saying "Okay...". That was like me with my ex. Everytime she ragged me out about something I would be like "Okay...lets do it your way"
It's a fucking disgrace, and the worst thing is, feminists have convinced the world that this is fair. It amazes me that a LOT more women don't get murdered when they pull this shit.
John I mean seriously, how much does it make to make a greedy money grabbing woman just disappear? I'm not saying the woman didn't deserve to be tossed a bone for being with him. A million seems like an unbelievably generous gesture, maybe even ten. But 4.5 BILLION for what? In what POSSIBLE UNIVERSE can she have provided the support to justify that? He could have had a high class prostitute, a maid, a business manager, a chauffeur, a personal therapist a chef, AND a nanny on 24 hour stand by for life and still got major change out of five million, so this woman did what?
Why don't these guys get pre-nups? Or is this a settlement after a pre-nup? I hear about those too but don't understand the legality of it all. Sounds like these women are nothing more than high priced prostitutes - but the man is to blame for part of it if he doesn't protect himself legally before the marriage. I'm a woman and if I was wealthy there is no way in hell I would marry without protecting myself. I have a friend who has to pay her ex husband alimony.
If I was gonna get married and my wife made me sign a prenub, I'd sign it. I don't have much but I'm not gonna marry into wealth. I would expect that same principle from any woman I'd date.
Used to watch this as a kid and felt horrible, fast forward 20+ years and it’s comedy gold. You won’t ever understand this until you witness or go through it. Classic.
When divorced, are debts shared just like money earned? If a spouse had debt of 300 million, will the other spouse fight for his/her right to have a share in debt.. No..because she had no part if making this debt, right? Why justice can't be neutral.
@@benharris8078 because divorced people and lawyers know the answer but want him to find out for himself. 😉 #sinnerstax "Didn’t the Lord make you one with your wife? In body and spirit you are his. And what does he want? Godly children from your union. So guard your heart; remain loyal to the wife of your youth. “For I hate divorce!” says the Lord , the God of Israel. “To divorce your wife is to overwhelm her with cruelty, ” says the Lord of Heaven’s Armies. “So guard your heart; do not be unfaithful to your wife.” (Malachi 2:15-16 NLT) Don’t be misled-you cannot mock the justice of God. You will always harvest what you plant. Those who live only to satisfy their own sinful nature will harvest decay and death from that sinful nature. But those who live to please the Spirit will harvest everlasting life from the Spirit. So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up. Therefore, whenever we have the opportunity, we should do good to everyone-especially to those in the family of faith. - Galatians 6:7-10 NLT
He's 100% accurate about everything.
Not quite everything, not all women are golddigging whores and not all guys are cheaters, me and my fiancee are prime examples of the term "exceptions to the rules"
Eddie Murphy didnt tolerate thots and his back then. No man should now. Dont even bother with females, they rarely give a shit about you or your struggles.
@@jillvalentinefan77 hello pal its the 21st century things are,differnt now
@@briankelly9347Sorry dude but in the 21st century we have thot patrols
@@briankelly9347 You cant bullshit Saddam. I'm the king of deception.
Murphy's shit is timeless. Still funny.
Been watching for 10 years and I love it more now
Will like him for all time 😂💕😉
For the person who is reading this message, know that God loves you and that he wants you to be saved and happy, nothing in this world like money, fun or popularity can fill the emptiness in your heart, but only his son Jesus who died for you can fill you, you who might not know about him, he knows you more than yourself, you who turned your back to him, he is still waiting for you with his arms open to receive you again, you who fought against him and had done things that are unforgivable in your eyes, he will always see you as his son and he already paid the price for all your sins, even if the world doesn’t forgive you, all that you need is God and everything will be alright, so trust God and only God, no one else, repent from your sins and never go back to them, and the most important thing is that you accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and savior with your voice and your heart, when you do all these things, pray to God and read the Bible(Christian Bible not a Catholic since the Catholic one might’ve changed the word of God to something that it is not God’s word but men’s, so read a christian Bible) so that you get to know God, and when you pray ask God to guide you so that you always walk in his righteousness and that he gives you strength so you don’t fall to sin, and don’t just say I am a Christian and never read your bible or end up not praying, build a relationship with God, read the Bible, fast and pray and be his son not only in words but also in your actions, please listen to this message, today God has showed you grace, to you who might be depressed, empty, are being hated or hates, or maybe you don’t receive genuine love, even you who enjoys or is comfortable with his current life, whoever you who is reading this is, know that God is calling you to give you a future and a hope, in this life and in the eternal life, trust him because he loves you so much that you can’t even understand it, and the time is short, after this message you might day or Jesus might return, so be ready and follow him, for today he stretched his hand to you because he loves you and cares for you, and he doesn’t want you to go to hell, so please go to him, I promise you that it will be the best decision you will do in your entire existence and that God will free you from anything that hurts you, take the love and hope the Lord is giving you and be free, for the best future for your life is in his hands, please make the right choice, for today God has stretched his hand to you who he loves so much that he even died for knowing all the bad things you have done, that is how much love he has and will always have for you, and please if you have a way to contact the people on this video please send them this message, it might not seem like it but some people really need hope and God can change or save someone’s life and give hope to the hopeless by you just sending them this message, thank you for reading, God Bless you always❤️
T I M E L E S S ‼️‼️‼️
👍🏽‼️
“Ends are meetin like a muthafucka..” 😂😂
😅😅😅
LMAO best part
"Michael Jordan's ex wife never hit one jump shot!" - Bill Burr
+diypictures "The bitch never hit a lay-up in her life" if we're being precice
Ahh I knew it was something like that. Maybe it was Kobe's wife he was referring to about the jump shot.
+diypictures it was Kobe
Don't forget Hogan and his gold digger ex.
"Tigers Wife, 250 Million Dollars!!! Shes a Babysitter! With a Quarter of a Billion Fucking Dollars"
'I made $70, put that with the rest'.....lol
pam b now we have $300 million,$70 dollars because i want to do my share No... HAHAHA...
Quintin Banks ....lol
Half
@@quintinbanks5036 And, in many women's and, even worse, court's mind, her putting her 70 dollars with his 300 million entitles her to at least half of the 300 million because she "contributed".
So I did the math.. 10 years = 8,650 days, which is 87,600 hours total. If you hired an escort for $100 an hour in 10 years it'll be $8,760,000. This is no where near $150 million.
This was the 80s. Not a goddamned thing has changed in 30+ years. If anything, it's gotten worse.
That's the terrifying thing about it. This was decades ago when we didn't have the internet to spread social diseases like modern feminism which makes everything it touches worse. Nowadays? I can only imagine...
in this set he just said every man cheats...that's hasn't changed in 30 years.
Yeah this has definitely gotten worse, nowadays it's most of a guys money if not leaving a guy pretty much homeless
That shit just happens in America, more commonly in California...no wonder it's filled with whores.
where i live divorce for men is like saying hi to your freind you tell her "your Divorced" her brother comes to pick her up end of story
It's fun to shut your eyes and imagine Donkey doing the stand up
+Justin Credible The fuckin Donkey from Shrek...nigga....Get with the program!
From shrek!
except donkey was Eddie Murphy, look it up
Dragon wants half Donkey's money
LOL! She'll take half Donkey's shit!
#1 rule every damn man on the face of the earth forgets. " No puzzy is worth $150,000,000 dollars." Spoken like a higher consciousness.
🤣😂…now we have 300 Million and $70 dollars. Such a classic to this day…I’m just glad I was around to appreciate his stand up in real time. 👏👏👏👏
And so far Eddie has avoided the "HALF!!!" monster. He is one of the few celebrities to do so.
Indeed
+Sgt Baker He never did "Homophobic" comedy. He did comedy about gays, just like he did comedy about blacks, whites, asian and italians. Whats the matter, he can pick on every race and subject but if he does one about gays, he's a homophobe? This is why no one takes you gays seriously. lol!!
Beatig Swartz you remind me of Onision
shows how much u know! Eddie Murphy's been caught out by a bitches more than once I think he has a standard support payment that gives out lol
note2owns he didn’t when he was going with scary spice
"I start having nightmares, I be waking up in the middle of the night like this, 'HALF!'"
I lost it.
This should be a must see, at every bachelor party all over the world.
By then it's too late
%1000 correct!
@@idwtbam was just gonna say that. More like this should be seen before every time you start the damn relationship.
It should be studied my lawyers
@@idwtbam The hell it is
I remember Mutumbo asked a girl he was going to marry to sign a prenup and she said no and he said ok then bye! Mutumbo the legend.
😄
Rip #Mutumbo
"Now we have 300000000 and 70 dollars" That made me laugh so hard!!!
🤣🤣🤣
The face he made just made it that much better too!!! 😂😂😂😂
No one will ever be a better stand-up than Eddie.
Dave chappelle is buddy.
@@youngbloodnba Chappell is good, but Eddie was waaaay ahead of his time!!
@@missmew3499 cut from the same cloth. Dave is the evolution.
You can immediately tell who's a Millennial and born in the middle to late 1980's. They only refer to Dave Chappelle as the token Black "legend". They're lazy....don't research.... and jump on the "popular" trend. Anyone born before 1980 knows Eddie Murphy and his friend Michael Jackson RULED the 1980's. But, more importantly: THEY WERE PIONEERS. They created opportunities for Black entertainers which were previously non-existent. And before Eddie, it was Richard Pryor. I'm so glad I experienced this era, IN REAL TIME.
@@domarq I think Pryor gets overhyped, he’s still a top 10 comedian of all time, but there’s others ahead of him.
For black comedians I think Chapelle comes first, then Eddie second, then probably Cosby. Then Pryor, Patrice O’Neal, and Chris Rock.
I am getting a prenup when i get married, ain’t no one taking half my $30.
Shit that's actually funny lol
I think getting a prenup costs about $31 nowadays
Now that's funny, I don't care who you are!
Now that made me laugh hard.
Burnt myself!
Is 30 all you have left after the wedding expenses?
You had me burst in laughter. You good
1:40 the way that crowd cheered is the most wholesome thing
All I can do is imagine men all over the world waking up in the middle of the night screaming “HALF!” in their native language.
'here Johnny I made $70 put that with the rest' LMAO!!!
Can't believe I secretly watched this behind my parents couch when I was 7. The first comedian I saw.
Sheer genius. Laughing my ass SO hard, and I've watched this since 08. God dammit Eddie we NEED you back!
This is still funny in 2019 lol 😂😂
Fire! But sad thing you'd never see this show in December of 2019
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
This is funnier to me now after growing up since I can relate to most of it now haha. GENIUS
The older I get the more I am thinking it to be a miracle that any 25 year old man can have this degree of insight.
I am 60 now but could easily have fell into the traps he talks about when I was still in my 50's. Great comedians are also life coaches without even trying.
I love 80's Eddie Murphy!!!
The BEST version. Genius
best standup of all time.
I bet Paul McCartney listened to this on a loop for a while...
Of course he did. Paul McCartney, had more than 1 billion reasons to do so.
What's with him? If I may ask. :)
her wife took a big chunk of his money
Whilst crying into a prosthetic leg.
Paul McCartney was worth 600mil at the time and only paid her 24 mil...he pretty much won, since he can make that money back within the year. He either had great lawyers or the judge was a Beatles fan...or both.
$300,000,070.oo
LMAO
lol!!!!
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Yep
Amen...that's why any man that gets me to say I Do gotta sign a prenup...that you don't trust me lyrics will not work with me...marriage and money don't mix...you got yours, I got mine and what we build together is ours...period. ..
Prenups can be beneficial to women too. "What's mine's mine; what's yours' yours; includes assets and liabilities." Contracts, including prenups, are supposed to benefit both parties.
I agree. The assets acquired during the marriage should be split in half, but what each individual had before the marriage stays theirs.
“Now we have 300 million and 70 dollars”
That’s definitely me 😭
You’re part of the problem dumb bitch
@@OwenNovakChildofGod aight take it down a notch there papi
@@88omair no he's right tf
shut up dumb feminazi this is why y’all still fighting for your rights
Lmaoo the fact that there’s men that spend their time on the internet trying to bash a woman they never met, is more of a problem than me laughing and agreeing with a joke. 😂
He said this in the 80s and people are still falling for it now lmao.
Marriage is useless.
Marriage is very useful for women.
We're at the point where marriage offers no tangible benefits for men at all. I'd love to hear someone explain to me what actual benefits men get out of the arrangement.
@@TheStapleGunKid thank Obama for making it worse and feminism for starting this bullshit.
So true marriage is useless
Yeah but Eddie has been married and is currently engaged to be married.
In the 80s this was hilarious! Today it's scary af.
It's scary that some people still haven't learned from it.
@@omegamale7880 one of the best comments i've ever read...because it's true and wise.
Now i know why eddy is a legend.
Now you know
@@dappa311 i am too young to know him when he do his stand ups.
this is by far one of the most legendary Bits ever... the amount of truth in this is amazing and it really shines a light on how in 30 years not much has changed. Gold Digging whores are still a problem.
Not gonna lie THATS TOO MUCH.. Not fair if you ain't worked for it.. Its not yours
THAT'S THE FUCKIN TRUTH
L.M.I.C UK not true in some cases baby girl.
@@MrGamerman001 That's every, bitch. Not just white.
@@MrGamerman001 Yeah, what J saav said: All the bitches, ALL the time.
@@jsaav4599 true dat. Fuckin true dat.
Among the truest words ever spoken.
I sure do wish that he'd do stand-up from time to time again. He was one of he best.
I wish he did more stand up, love his work
Eddie, the best ever stand up comedian!
4:57 Norbit is born
TheChrxnic 5:16 ya meant
Best damn stand up special, Hands down
5:55..."HALF!!!!!" LMFAO!!!!!
This is not comedy.. this is education 😄😄😄
This is the funniest realest standup ever imo...he ain't trying too hard, everything he says is relatable, and true. Perfection if it existed
I believe what Eddie makes a great commedian is the fact that everything he says is connected from the beginning to the end the whole story every word every sentence is connected is like listening to a novel all the events are connected he doesen't jumps from one subject to another he does not change the subject he starts with one character and leads him through the whole process the narrative the characters the plot he does not jumps to conclusions to fast its a long joke as long as a book it is funny and as time goes by it is getting funnier untill he gets to the end and shits explode from being funny and that's what makes him so great at telling jokes.
5:47-5:49 LOL! That facial expression was priceless!
Lol, when he mimicked the women saying she deserved that money, his gestures and voice was so funny! He is the best Mimic whether it’s everyday people or celebrities. Lol “I contributed 70 dollars to your 300 million, and now we have 300 million 70 dollars, cause I want to contribute. Lol! And he just makes voices up. So funny.
Half! (with the Johnny Carson expression) - Eddie Murphy's Raw is still good 31 years later. MGTOW!
I'm female and I agree with what he says. All I ask is that a guy treat me right, be a good lover and have a job. I have a job, he should too.
"Gotta have a J O B if you wanna be with me." Eddie talks about that too.
- "What's going on?"
- "The rent, muthafrakka!"
@@bhutchin1996 felt like i was in the 80s when he said that line lol!!!!
Hamstergirl71 if only most women thought the way you do, divorce rates would be lower
Hamstergirl
Please let me have your number
It's a very simple thing to ask of a partner yet I've met a lot of men who get offended when I tell them I only date guys with a job. I actually had to break up with my last boyfriend because he expected me to support him financially, wtf. People are too sensitive nowadays.
150 million dollars would be a bargain for Jeff Bezos.
Eddie mentioned he thinks it's fair for the wife to get half if the couple built their fortune together during the marriage. Which was the case with Amazon. Both of them created the company and built it up to be what it is now. She was like an early shareholder so she rightfully earned the money she got in the divorce settlement.
@@dunnotck1 I agree. She didn't just jump on board once Amazon was a tycoon. His ex was with him since before the beginning and helped him start it. Pretty sure she was Amazon's first official employee as Jeff's accountant/bookkeeper.
@@steez5769 He admitted she worked for nothing or free a while too.
Bezos is cool but he still looks like a big toe.
@@stevepatrickjarvis he also runs a shady business.
Paul McCartney. Tiger woods.
+Kings mario A lot more than that...lmao!
Paul's ex never took half. Paul pretty much won the case, since he was worth 600mil at the time and the bitch took 24 mil. She probably used that to pay the lawyers and obviously it got taxed, so I doubt she even had over 10mil in the bank.
David Harrison that's still too much
and Sir Paul McCartney the biggest dunce of the lot....
4:43- hahahahaha, Eddie killing it.
"I start having nightmares waking up in the middle of the night like HALF!...oh"
THEY JUST GOT ANOTHER ONE! Blake Griffin reportedly ordered to pay $258K a month in child support .
Women are on here telling men, "Just don't marry the wrong one". But money and emotions will make ANY woman the "wrong" one.
+1000
And he just married another one! Obviously, he's the wrong one who can't get marriage right with multiple women. They say that the 3rd one's the charm. She's his 3rd (4th?). He's her 2nd.
When a man finds a wife, he has found a treasure! For she is the gift of God to bring him joy and pleasure. But the one who divorces a good woman loses what is good from his house. To choose an adulteress is both stupid and ungodly.
- Proverbs 18:22 TPT
JESUS: “Your ancestors have been taught, ‘Never commit adultery.’ However, I say to you, if you look with lust in your eyes at the body of a woman who is not your wife, you’ve already committed adultery in your heart. If your right eye seduces you to fall into sin, then go blind in your right eye! For you’re better off losing sight in one eye than to have your whole body thrown into hell. And if your right hand entices you to sin, let it go limp and useless! For you’re better off losing a part of your body than to have it all thrown into hell. “It has been said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife must give her legal divorce papers.’ However, I say to you, if anyone divorces his wife for any reason, except for infidelity, he causes her to commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.”
(Matthew 5:27-32 TPT)
DAMN TRUE !!!!
Sage advice from the legendary Eddie murphy👊🙌👍😎👏👏
Foolishness for fools.
I'm a woman , a feminist, and I agree 100% that in the case of a breakup each party should keep what they had going into the relationship. Also in 90% of cases alimony is insulting and ridiculous. Just wanted to throw it out there that not all, or even most, women are gold diggers. If you're only meeting these ridiculous women, rather than venting your male rage on the Internet, change what you look for in a woman.
Doesn't matter what type of woman you meet, she could be great at first. But most women are easily influenced. And change when they get mad.
This was my teaching tool when I was growing and that shot helped and I have the things I want without stress from a women
Hahahahaha this will never get old....still funny to this day, and still true to this day
He's spot on. The more I hear from American men about the state of affairs there re: marriage, money, alimony, divorce and child support the more shocked I am that anybody there gets married at all. You blokes in The States get absolutely shafted, it's unbelievable. I don't think most people have the foggiest idea what your legal system and divorce courts are like.
I'm convinced he was talking about Charlotte Lewis, his co-star from The Golden Child. She was 19 when the movie was filmed and they did date briefly. And yeah, she was absolutely gorgeous.
"was"
Who??? I'd probably know her if she had half his money
Ooh good catch!
Nope. His fiance was Lisa Figuroa.
The ends are meetin like a muthafucka 😂
Mark Zuckerberg just got married someone should post this on his wall
Half of 40 Billion dollars is still 20 billion. Definitely would not be hurting.
note2owns Flawed logic.
half of 10 is 5 but imagine how much a kid would be angry if you took that from him.
They have together since college
They built it together
let say that her job was to be his wife .... lets skip the job description and look straight into the payment.
there is 365 days in a year. number of days in 10 year are 3650 days.
150 million was taken as a compensation for the break up .... $150 million divided by 3650 days = (equals) $41 thousands a day!!!!!
let put this into perspective:
$41 thousand a day is about $1700 an hour. O.o
is it worth it?!
That's outrageous enough but you're not even accounting for the non-monetary benefits he paid for and she enjoyed in the mean time (housing, transportation, you name it) yet. Add that on top of it.
High end escorts take 1000 or 1500 a night. That's fulfilling ALL your fantasies every day of the week for 10 years while doing cocaine and drinking the best liquor in town.
FUCK NO is't not worth it no matter how you divide it, she should not get a damn penny......end of
FUCK NO
Shiiiet carson got burned
Best stand-up ever. Genius.
This aged very well!! 35 years and counting. He told no lies tho
Timeless classic!!
So true I love this clip👍🏻
"Take all the money you can and shit" hahaha always makes me laugh, he speaks the truth!
😂😂😂
I love his impersonation of a woman 😂
Never gets old 😂, especially when he starts talking really fast
@@88omair "she earned it"
😂😂😂
I sometimes have nightmares now picturing my future wife say HALF! Shits that's scary.
You don't HAVE to get married. If you want to avoid all the bullshit just don't get married, it's the logical and safe thing to do.
PermanentHigh I know. I don't feel any pressure to get married. But I always wanted to start my own family.
+Im a Fox starting your own family doesn't mean marriage. You don't need to get the law and the state involved in your relationship. You forfeit many rights when you get married, as a man. Don't even do it for tax purposes. What does that tell you, the fact that being married affects your taxes? That it's a business. You don't mix money with "love.
Marriage should belong strictly to homosexuals, I don't even know why straight men do it because the institution of marriage was designed to fuck a man in the ass.
PermanentHigh That's what I was thinking. I don't want a bunch of people I don't know dealing with my personal affairs. No contract but will most likely say we are married.
+Im a Fox If you walk around saying you're married or you call the girl your wife and you live together, to the state you're pretty much married. it's called common law marriage.
Your best bet is to watch your mouth and have the girl you live with pay rent. Even if you give her back the money somehow. But with legal documentation that she's a tenant, you won't get fucked by the state.
Johnny Depp brought me here.
yeah that gold digger destroyed him1 she knew he was millionaire before marring him ....
That truly depicts what happened to him. And she was all about beauty etc so he should've known better. Too bad she got a big chunk in the end. Really not fair. Fucked up system.
he tweeted this?
In his case he deserved it...
The funny thing is like he didn't marry the mother of his 2 children and possibly the best women in his life for years. I don't know why they broke up, but Vanessa Paradie(?) even defended him, while the whole thing with Amber Heard was going on.
I don't think he will ever marry again, after the whole fuck up
4:40 killedddd me 😂😂😂😂 that hand and step back "FirSt OF aLl"
"Did you know you could take his money did you know that?" So good
I can’t help but notice that he predicted his future here.
"And sparks shot out the woman's ass!" 😂
Ive got nightmares wakes up middle of the night Im like "HALF" xD priceless
This is why I don't want to get married. The idea of a woman getting half of my students loan, payday loan and wonga debt keeps me up at night.
No, woman would want to marry you to begin with.
Get married in Cameroon. There, you can choose to share or not to share your money with your wife.
Not getting married because of financial issues? Damn white are wiping themselves out of history xDDD
No woman with actual morals would take half of your money because that's just wrong.
@@Wis_Dom I'm actually married to a very good woman so thank you 👍
I watch this in 2024 and that show is still the funniest I've ever watched.
Best comedian that ever lived.
Jeff Bezos is watching this video right now... laughing and crying at the same time
The Bezos's situation is exactly what he explains at 1:53 - Bezos did not marry his wife when he already was a billionaire. They in fact started and built Amazon together, so she rightfully deserved half of the company.
This is not comedy, this is the best lesson of life you can get! I followed his "advice" and never got married so i never ever
payed a dime to my ex girlfriends.
In the 80's I laughed hard at this -- no one made me laugh as hard until Chris Rock came along.
I love the way he does the man saying "Okay...". That was like me with my ex. Everytime she ragged me out about something I would be like "Okay...lets do it your way"
came here cause of Dmitry Rybolovlev's ex-wife getting 4.5 BILLION for doing NOTHING
It's a fucking disgrace, and the worst thing is, feminists have convinced the world that this is fair. It amazes me that a LOT more women don't get murdered when they pull this shit.
Watched this skit, then heard the news about that divorce, and I can picture the woman saying: "HALF! I'LL TAKE HALF HIS SHIT!"
Mat Broomfield Indeed. I would have taken 100 million and hired a good hit man.
John I mean seriously, how much does it make to make a greedy money grabbing woman just disappear? I'm not saying the woman didn't deserve to be tossed a bone for being with him. A million seems like an unbelievably generous gesture, maybe even ten. But 4.5 BILLION for what? In what POSSIBLE UNIVERSE can she have provided the support to justify that? He could have had a high class prostitute, a maid, a business manager, a chauffeur, a personal therapist a chef, AND a nanny on 24 hour stand by for life and still got major change out of five million, so this woman did what?
Why don't these guys get pre-nups? Or is this a settlement after a pre-nup? I hear about those too but don't understand the legality of it all. Sounds like these women are nothing more than high priced prostitutes - but the man is to blame for part of it if he doesn't protect himself legally before the marriage. I'm a woman and if I was wealthy there is no way in hell I would marry without protecting myself. I have a friend who has to pay her ex husband alimony.
2022 , ain’t a god damn thing changed..
We used to watch this as kids and laugh so hard. Today too much PC has ruined art. Eddie i want to talk to you!!!!!!! HALF!!!!
If u are super rich, u should not marry or think 100times before doing it
so true.. all women care about is money
@@allenfelty5640...Women want many more things not just a lot of money.
No think 300,000,000 times before doing it....
90 women saw this and didnt like the truth
Classic comedy........but also great relationship advice! Heed it, young men and old.
His facial expressions drive the point home.
HALF!!!
🤣🤣🤣
"here Johnny I made $70, put that with the rest"
If I was gonna get married and my wife made me sign a prenub, I'd sign it. I don't have much but I'm not gonna marry into wealth. I would expect that same principle from any woman I'd date.
"With 300 million, ends are meetin' like a mfer" lol
Used to watch this as a kid and felt horrible, fast forward 20+ years and it’s comedy gold. You won’t ever understand this until you witness or go through it.
Classic.
And 30 years later, this is more true than ever.
When divorced, are debts shared just like money earned?
If a spouse had debt of 300 million, will the other spouse fight for his/her right to have a share in debt.. No..because she had no part if making this debt, right?
Why justice can't be neutral.
no body has responded in 8 years
@@benharris8078 because divorced people and lawyers know the answer but want him to find out for himself. 😉 #sinnerstax
"Didn’t the Lord make you one with your wife? In body and spirit you are his. And what does he want? Godly children from your union. So guard your heart; remain loyal to the wife of your youth. “For I hate divorce!” says the Lord , the God of Israel. “To divorce your wife is to overwhelm her with cruelty, ” says the Lord of Heaven’s Armies. “So guard your heart; do not be unfaithful to your wife.”
(Malachi 2:15-16 NLT)
Don’t be misled-you cannot mock the justice of God. You will always harvest what you plant. Those who live only to satisfy their own sinful nature will harvest decay and death from that sinful nature. But those who live to please the Spirit will harvest everlasting life from the Spirit. So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up. Therefore, whenever we have the opportunity, we should do good to everyone-especially to those in the family of faith.
- Galatians 6:7-10 NLT
Richard Pryor and George Cain opened the doors for Eddie Murphy and Dave, Chapelle never let that be forgotten
This was the 80s. And men still get got.
The child support for Mel B’s child alone costs him 35,000 a month-and he didn’t even marry her 😩
ftw he got married and she took half his shit XD
Should have listened to your own advice.
And then like a dummy she lost 7 million by con man
MANEEEEEEEEEEE I read online a Russian billionaire and his wife got a divorce and he had to give her half of that. SHIT CRAZYYYYYYYYYYYYYY.