What to do when your boss is jealous of you...?
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- Опубликовано: 8 сен 2024
- Your weekly #Careerdoc tip is about "managing up" - what to do when your boss is kind of jealous of you...because it does happen.
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You must leave before it kills your confidence
Being smarter than your boss is always a problem. It is very important to report to someone smarter than than you or who is smart enough to prosper you
Yup! Right out of The Hatchet Man's Playbook.
It's rarely that simple, though. Your boss may be smarter than you in certain areas, but may have an issue with your superior ability in specific *other* areas. This is increasingly the case these days when reporting structures are not always straightforward in cross-functional teams.
Sometimes it's impossible, companies keep promoting a certain type of people...
Listening to this video is so frustrating to me because I don’t understand WHY individuals who are balanced in their self-esteem and self-confidence have to change their behavior to accommodate someone who has stunted growth in this area? That’s WHY there are so many narcissistic people in our society. We are considering catering to these types of individuals and poor mental health. If a boss is jealous of their direct report than they should not be in a leadership role, plain and simple. A person who takes a leadership role is supposed to appreciate having a strong staff. So, what if one of your direct reports is smarter and communicate better than you. Instead of acting jealous. Why not asked the direct report to mentor you into being a better communicator? The boss may discover new ways of learning by taking courses or webinars to better enhance their personal development growth.
Dennell Lancaster I work under a boss like this and nothing you will do will help. Including your boss in the credit will only open the door to them taking the entire credit for your work and it makes you look useless. It’s better to look for another job
Bc some people are just plain evil. Theyre called Hatchet Men. (If u get the chance, read a piece titled The Hatchet Man's Playbook. It says exactly the same thing.)
Exactly! Well said. This is why the workplace is riddled with narcissists and psychopaths.
Agreed - time for the boss to level up or time for the person to move out - I’m not good at kissing ass. I couldn’t do that - 🙄 time for the boss to grow the F up
AGREED
A real boss is a leader, a true leader never asks those below them to do things they as a boss wouldn’t do.
A true leader shows up for the hard tasks not just the easy ones.
A true leader wants what’s best for the team not just what will benefit the boss.
A true leader will make sure everyone on the team or group is in the same level and that everyone knows their job.
They won’t be threatened by their subordinates asking questions to better understand the overall goals.
Only a weak boss will be threatened by subordinates doing their job too well.
unfortunately not all placed in the role demonstrate and/or comprehend authentic leadership
fantasy land
keep dwelling in your fantasy while you lose your job in reality
it is what it is, not what it should be; take care of you and adapt
This is a very similar situation I’m currently in. This stifles my energy, drive, and ambition.
Agry. I am also in the same situation where I have joined newly to an manager who is not even has job specific qualifications or experience.
Since I am the only qualified and experienced resource company has . He had made sure that all my mails and work only goes to him in one one.
It is very difficult to suffer this and waste your talent . because this one guy has power because management is definitely no visulant enough to notice. Best thing is to not waste time and look for better opportunity and just forget this toxic Experience
@vaishalii, I'm stuck in a job where I put up a lying stupid supervisor who only got his job through nepotism, but what makes u think another job wont be more of same nonsense? Jobs are few & far between for me. I'm 63.
That's what they want
Bosses like that are idiots
It’s not our problem they don’t have confidence in themselves.
Honestly non of us is going to live forever so don’t take crap because you don’t want to leave your comfort zone you need to leave and venture into new things take it as a motivation to move forward to do something else no one say it’s going to be easy but in the end you will enjoy the benefits.
FINALLY someone i 100% agree with
What an incredible video! I’m dealing with such an insecure boss and it’s beyond exhausting. I can’t wait until this job is over with.
Smh
i feel you!!
Just left a job where my boss was jealous and insecure.
Same here
Essentially, you are telling us to be a boss-pleaser. Not an ass-kisser, but a pleaser.
I'm in the same situation. I can't dance around to suit her! She couldn't manage her way out of a wet paperbag. I can't work for someone I have 0 respect for.
This is sad but true. Its how to survive till enough people see them for who they are.
I don't kiss ass or small talk much at work... but I'm helpful friendly and try to do my job as well as I can....
Sometimes people hating on you is an unfortunate reality I've dealt with it plenty of times... I remember being interviewed by a department head and then his boss walked in the room, liked me instantly and told him to hire me...
me and the department head never got along in the two years I worked there... and I know that initial interview was the reason why.... and I didn't do anything wrong
What do you mean that you know that the initial interview was the reason why? I don't kiss ass or make small talk either and people really believe that makes you unapproachable.
@@aprilsnow2296 I think he means that the person who interviewed him was mad that the boss decided to hire him, taking all power from the department guy
Im the same as you I can’t respect her anymore
I lost my job a year ago bc my boss hated me bc I was so good at my job. Another manager hired me back 11 months after my termination by that boss. Now all of a sudden my former manager called my current supervisor and accused me of talking about her, a trainer and said for her to let me know she’s going to her boss. My supervisor already had a run in with her and knows how she is. I’m going to document the incident and pay her no mind but if she comes for me again, I’ll go to HR.
What I find messed up is in this video being told to pretty much kiss the bosses behind. Totally wrong advice. Get Out would be better.
Yo my sentiment exactly!!!!
Absolutely NOT! I don’t condone ass kissing. If your boss dont like you then oh well let them wallow in it. Good mouthing your boss will just give them more power and thats a major no no! Let them
Be jealous and you continue being a great worker, never kiss anyones ass! Youre not the problem its them dont feed their ego
My supervisor talks about me with my coworker. Takes credit for what I did. I’m always friendly but I’m told that she does feel threatened. I like my job, get paid well, but hate the politics.she also blocks my progress at times. Frustrating.
Catch her after work LOL JK
I hate these people who do that. I hate them passionately. I wish they lose jobs and never ever get to work again. So unprofessional and unethical.My manager got jeloaus and took credit for the stuff I did never praised me appropriately. Please if those people can't manage themselves how can they be managers or bosses. How?
@@ahumanjustbeing2466 cash me outsiiih how bout dhet? 😆
No matter how high up on the chain a corporate female is, she usually will always be threatened by a smart, beautiful woman. Add more malice to that scenario if the employee is older than she and looks much younger than the boss. I've been there a handful of times.
So true.
A true leader leads from the front. Bad bosses lead from the back as cowards
So basically you need to suck up to your boss if you are smarter and good mouth him even when doesn’t deserve it.
While many of these points are valid, in the end it's too exhausting to keep putting up with this behavior that never changes (and they never seem to "pull these bosses off the stage" ) especially the bully boss. If you have a difficult job with difficult clients this can be beyond brutal.
Yup...my boss was a bully and absolutely did not respect people. He threatened people with their job everyday if they didn't obey him even if it meant doing the impossible job just to keep him happy ....the harder the work the more they want
Yep, totally agree. Nobody should have to go into the workplace and "manage up" to a grown-up toddler. I saw this video and thought I'd watch it because I've seen/experienced this happen in the past. I guess she's suggesting to "manage up" because sometimes people need to stay in their jobs for whatever reason, but the best thing is that individuals who are cripplied by jealousy or habitually threatened by people's abilities are not put in positions of leadership at all.
I had a job before where my manager wrote me up for buying a cup of coffee to my coworker who had a headache and said it was sexual harassment. Now, at my current job my manager feels intimidated by me. I am so competent in what I am doing I speak 5 languages fluently not poor grammar but fluently almost native. I have many certificates a good educational background and yesterday I was sent home because I sniffed as everyone does (not covid) He's making my life hell. The problem is every job I go to same thing happens to me.
Sounds like you need to keep some of your accomplishments OFF OF YOUR RESUME!
@@culluts2755 Can't agree more.
Lmfaooo
Time to be your Own BOSS
Ummmm no… you leverage your popularity and make lateral, sometimes vertical, and definitely diagonal moves to sidestep small people. You can expend a ton of energy managing upwards, or you can use that energy and find a leader you can get behind.
I’ve threatened management with good ideas just trying help our team. I had no idea what was coming. First I lost a job by being set up for failure by a former manager, after that my new manager at my new job was also threatened by me. This time he forced me to quit on the job even though I was every bodies favorite coworker to work with by far. This time I quit on his ass for not being given a voice. I’ve shared ideas with him he couldn’t deny but he stood me up every meeting
EXACTLY! Been there, done that! Talent is a 1000 times deadlier than mediocrity. (BTW: If you get the chance, check out a piece titled The Hatchet Man's Playbook. It says exactly what you said only in more detail.)
Literally going through this right now 😂
ive blocked people who tried to abuse me otherwise the abuse would have continued
Sounds like a lot of effort to please a jerk I'd rather get another job
Oh no. I’m not hiding my life under a bushel so that my incompetent boss looks better. I’m in the process of advancing my career elsewhere.
So she has to play into the Narcissist behavior? Good mouthing or not the boss has deep underlined issues that’s far beyond your client. If the boss feels incompetent or inadequate in her own right there’s nothing your client can do to change that. You’re offering temporary fixes.
I ultimately have to agree. While there are things that individuals can do to avoid triggering someone else's insecurities, the more important thing is to stop and consider whether this is really a viable situation in the long run. An insecure boss is unlikely to ever really support their subordinate's growth, so why would that individual invest additional time and energy into this relationship? They may need to manage the situation for the moment while they plan their transition. Ultimately, it is in no one's best interest to embolden poor attitudes and behaviors on the part of managers by becoming even more understanding and loyal as employees. At some point they need to realize that their negative attitudes and ways of behaving toward their subordinates will cost them, and that might lead to change.
These bosses are toxic and should be fired. The best thing to do is leave and go somewhere else. Life is too short to put up with this BS.
I have recently started experiencing this the last month and a half with my boss. She was friendly with me gave me good advice and protective of me with the bad employee in the office who would lie about me and what I did and said to customers coming in. Now she's very cold to me and standoffish. I've tried talking to her and she will not tell me what has happened. She now gets in my face about mistakes I make and listens in on my phone conversations with people calling in and comes and stands nearby listening to what I say to p coming in. When I'm on the phone talking to someone, she starts yelling at me from her office wanting to know what they want. I do know she feels threatened by me due to 1 person in the office feeding her lies that I'm after her job. She also makes a comment about when other departments transfers calls directly to me instead of the whole office so anyone can pick it up. I've tried num6 ti es to tell her that I'm not after her job and I'd be stupid if I was. Through the last month I have learned she's very domineering and also paranoid. It's a shame because she is so smart with 17 years as a court clerk and a master clerk at that.
Though this video is four years old, the reality of these circumstance remain true. Anyone going through this I bless you to become a bigger person and handle these unfortunate circumstances accordingly and professionally. Stay calm, report your problem to Human Resources see what actions are best to take the next steps in your career advancement or job security. If you have to confront your boss with a reasonable approach without holding a grudge, let them know how it made you feel and how you intended to work on the relationship with your coworkers. If the issue persist and corrective action is not being taken unfortunately and stressfully but professionally the best course of action is to find another job. Good luck all and wish me luck or blessings much love
At least in my case, these ideas are almost impossible to digest. If a subordinate like me happens to be higher in age/experience/Trainings/knowledge and has never showed a gesture which would threaten him or feel insecure. And despite absorbing all the undue stress, humiliation done to me by my boss over a period of 7 years constantly and giving my boss all due and undue respect, appreciate his position, helped him out support him whenever required, tried to build trust always, and still his boss stabbed me in my back when I was in need of support from Company through my boss while I was caught in COVID’s uncertain loop. And he builds up a theory in office and HR that probably Employee is not coming back to work and lying that he is COVID positive. While it was a baseless allegation. I have handled the the humiliation for 7 years snd didn’t react but this has broken my Heart.
Please leave, you are working with a toxic person this behaviour from this person will chip away at your self esteem and confidence. Its not worth it.
Why even work under those conditions, period!! I'd have to go elsewhere 😊
Good advise, i agree if your boss is only insecure about hes job. But i dont agree totally: you have sick people in power spots at jobs who are very envious even on a personal level that dont have anything to do with the job. At this point i wont care if i get Fired, i will not deam my light so a insecure jealous idiot feels better about hes or her self. I will not have it.
If you're smart as you think you are then you better learn how to assess situations quickly enough in order to see things comming, once they are here it's generally too late, make sure you're equipped with a parachute all the time. Peace.
So my question is do we crack tha eggshells before or when we get to work. The eggshells we got to walk on.
I wish that I could get a lawyer to defend me against her.😔 I never know what im walking into from day to day at times. The things that you are discussing within this video, I've been through all of these things, even building her up.
Ive been here
Bullied targeted n harassed n isolated....
They've done it before too...
It's pretty scary
U never forget it
I tried this and they still stabbed me on the back.
Being smarter than the boss is a problem emotionally and can cause simple mistakes especially when a boss trying to sit you up on probation... my boss created ways to sit me up to get fire playing email games and lying.. it’s nothing a person can do, you give good points
This is so pathetic. I am facing the same situation right now.
I’m hearing “ass kiss your bad boss’s ass and stay in a toxic environment” these tactics don’t work.
Translation: 1. Walk on eggshells 2. Kiss the bosses ass 3. Stay in a toxic work environment with your female boss
I did all this ans my boss is still jealous, because i have a house and striving in my personal life. I have a pure heart and will help anyone and i remember telling her i bought a house and she was green with envy. Now i need a reference she says yes she will but never answered or respond to the background check email or calls. Why? Because it was a hire level employment and more meaningful. Why help me to be more better than u...
Ughh... I totally relate to this. My photography/art professors would remark how talented I am. I sold a million dollars worth of art before I was 30. And graduated with multiple degrees in the arts with honors. And at my current job, I am one of the top selling photographers. But, some skills that I learned on the job were "erased" so I am not scheduled, Like skills that I learned before, were erased off my skills charts. People who had similar or less credentials than me and have been at the company for less time get more hours and career opportunities. I even was demoted/paycut after graduating college too. But this is an eye opener. Thanks. My partner says it's bullshit, and that I am crazy for thinking that way. But why else would managers demote me or have skills erased from my credentials? Is it because I am horrible? No. But for the longest time, that is what I thought. And after creating the sales report, I realized it's because of jealousy. Oh, and I have ADHD. Diagnosed when I was 7. My managers have no clue how many times I flunked out of school or that I excell in the things that I love because of hyperfocus or that I have to work 5 times harder to produce the same results as a normal person. They don't know this about me, but still put me down by not providing the same opportunities to me as others
So in short, the employee has to manage the manager's emotions in addition to their workload?
I would never dumb down to a toxic boss. EVER
I think you’re right. This works. But I don’t think it’s worth it. This is enabling and it will continue to get worse.
So, I have to suck up to them meanwhile killing my self esteem and self respect? When they look good that doesn't reflect on me at all because he makes sure his team is out of sight. He already takes credit for our best work anyway.
I would love to one day become a manager so i can be that change within the corporate world. But employees and employees need to care enough to give me a chance!
She needs to leave. Stop playing footsy with a manager who needs his ass stimulated and a pat on his back for all your credit.
You’re less of a threat, but your boss is moving on with their career.
Thaks for this meesage! I´ve seen so much videos and non of them have a real talk about this problem. I have this issue along 3 diferent jobs. Now I have personal goals to achive and I want to work on my own business. This video help me to understand what's going on.
A boss should not be threatened by an employee or be jealous but instead he should be thankful...
It only happened when there's a secret behind those jealousy that he is afraid to be known... To be honest I have discovered lots of secrets from governments and private companies... I'm so sad about it and it terribly breaks my heart thinking that why there are some individuals born with no compassion towards people however there's nothing I could do about it because I'm a simple poor woman who only want peace and happiness even if there are few individuals who deprived me from happiness...that word of jealousy applies...but jealous of what.... jealous of something which is only a word of understanding on how they do business... public reputation insecurity is the most scariest thing for individuals who have hidden illegal activities but it's actually their normal mindsets because it's their instinct to defend future possibilities of public embarrassment or scandal... Me as a person, it's not my business to mind what other people do because I only mind myself...it's their lives and who am I to judge them, in this life we only have two choices it's either to the left or to the right. But in my opinion it's nice to sleep at night with total peace.
"Pera nalang ang kulang , mayaman na ako!" OMG
While I was working at a restaurant, two corporate executives paid a visit. The head executive warmly greeted all the managers and acknowledged me as well. Their friendly and inclusive demeanor towards me, despite my non-managerial position, left a lasting positive impression. Eventually, I resigned from that job due to the boss's bullying behavior, constant yelling, and excessive scrutiny. It became unbearable, so I made the decision to leave. Good riddance.
You’re the best. Thank you for being you- your voice is so relaxing.
I just realized this might be what I'm actually dealing with.
huh? You seem like a boss who may be threatened by your employee.
If a worker is a kick-ass employee and a manager has a problem with that,
it's not the employee- it's the insecure idiot manager. I would advise you to just
start looking for another job that may fit your true qualities and leave that job.
Then your former idiot boss will then realize how much you meant to the company
after your presence.
This woman reveals an ugly, but necessary truth.
1 of the 48 Laws of Power is “Don’t outshine the master”. I’m not a big fan but honestly it’s the way to go if you’re not your own boss.
But if you’ve ever managed an employee who has a bad attitude or just plain ungrateful, & self-absorbed, I wouldn’t want to be their boss either. So be careful not to be boastful. I’m managing a person who thinks she “should be” my boss lol very delusional.
I don’t have time for this. I’m not his psychologist. He better grow some balls
My manager put me in a higher position about a year ago, I took over the sales. When the owner of the company and the customers started excluding him from the emails, boy was I in trouble! He never helps me with my projects, never discusses drawings which the engineer has to make, but is always calling to the owner of the company and leaves the room, so I don't hear him when he is bad mouthing me. He always tries to sabotage me and I cannot wrap my head around this.. It's your company, not mine! Have some dignity and at least do your job!
..in the millionth "meeting" he organized to talk some issues at the company (that was just an exuse,he wanted to try to gives notes to me indirectly because HE CAN'T CONFRONT me like a man)... leaning backwards in my chair i bashed his ass in front of 34 people that work with us, calling him an incompetent leader, shortsighted,unfit for leadership, walking contradiction,to name a few,signed my resignation and wished everyone good luck and left.
I guess some Times it's better to just LEAVE.
What do you do if your female boss is jealous of male attention doctors give you? And female boss lies an says you didn’t turn in work that you know you did? I’ve been working at doctors office only 7 months.
Keep track of everything you turn in, have someone sign off on it so she cant lie and you have proof. Give her your work face to face and have her sign off on it and make copies of everything she signs off on. Her being jealous is just her insecurities and shes ignorant dont pay her any mind and most certainly don’t kiss her ass.
Arquavian thank you by God’s help I’m gonna man the fort an stay as long as the good Lord allows me. Thanks for your encouragement.🙏
Basically you have to take the boss's crap and feed her ego at same...but! It won't change a thing.
Thank you for the great insight madam
I work in the Home Improvement Field My Boss is so jealous of me no one likes him and he’s a bully it’s so sad he’s threatened by everyone to be honest!! He needs to get a life I don’t kiss ass I’ll remain calm but definitely documenting everything before I take legal action!!!!
You don’t have to ever to be kind to someone that isn’t kind to you. Managing up is a dumb way of saying find a better way to kiss your bosses ass😂 so they like you again.
It's a difficult topic to cover. Thank you for covering this. I think it will help other women in your clients position.
Thanks for this, I think I have a jealous superior, who needs to take my praktice exam in medicine. Everytime I made an appointment with her, it was cancelled. Now I wrote her again, and she still did not respond. All the time others go before me... I have a challenge here..
Would you give the same advice to a woman who's new husband is jealous of her? I see an unstable relationship being toxic very quickly. I see it becoming abusive.
The boss feel like u gone take their job,so they feel like u are a threat….🧐
no matter how much I tried to good mouth my boss it did not work I am still a threat
If I was supposed to be "managing up" then the stupid NHS / local authority client should have been paying us contractors MANAGING up daily rates. We were not there to babysit people's egos.
Good luck to the National Homicide Service uk
I completely disagree with your you conclusion that your client should "suck up" to a sick, incompetent narcissistic ass hole boss.
You clients best move is to start looking for another job immediately. You client should keep her boss completely unaware that she is looking for another job. Your client might need to resign from her from her job immediately. If you client decides to remain in a position with and ass hole boss she will regret her decision.
Your strategy is in someway correct. But it shouldn't be so. If you prosper in this way, psychologically you're 'damaged' because what you are basically doing is stepping on yourself and that's never good for the soul. Also, it doesn't help improve a systemic change in the management constellation. I hope you're client is satisfied and I hope she's not too pretty either....
Good advise. Thank you.
Good stuff. Thank you. What is correct way to complain about this situation?
AND if that doesn't work? She's horrible.
I am struggling... f
For a long time i have built that relation with my business leader and setup myself as a go to person as my prior boss relied on me a lot. Now my new manager has literally cut me off all possible meeting interactions, emails which are addressed to me are replied by him. Its a nightmare.. Has anyone gone through this, please suggest what can be done about this situation
Sounds like you're being made irrelevant. Iv had that happen to me also
One good option too is to quit and open up your own business if you have to give credit to your boss for your own brilliancy. If that is out of the equation, another option is to get a new job where you are happier.
I have won salesperson of the month for 6 months straight, and my Bosses hate that, through stumbling blocks on my deals. Moreover, the other salesman and women are hating and smiling ain’t the same time. What do I do?
Thanks for sharing 🌳
Thank you I will contact you soon
Sounds like my Ex Boss. Thank you for this video helped me with closure. PS. I love the way you say Boss :).
I like your idea😊
Great advice
sounds so familiar!
This is essentially the “kiss the ring” approach. All it does is to inflate the current boss’s sense of ego and arrogance. It does nothing to solve the employees problem.
The real solution is to continue what the employee was doing before. It’s not her fault that her boss lacks competence and ability. The employee is also insulated from termination. The boss is not a king and the business partners value this employee immensely. If she is terminated, they will start asking questions.
This is very outdated advice in this video. Career rock stars do not tolerate management that gets in their way.
i declare, sonia joy proteau to have been taking advantage, it s hilarious
Terrible advice! I recommend calling them out on their behavior each time, followed by an email. It shuts them down each time when you call it out and show you are seeing what they are doing. Don't cower
I am stunned at this horrible advice this woman has given in this video. It's terrible advice and extremely harmful to the subordinate. I don't think she has good intent in this video. I'm not being mean but I believe this is retired woman who was the mean narcissistic insecure boss in her career. I chose to go to work covered in the Lord's protection. I pray for anyone who is experiencing this. Please take it to the Lord, read the Bible it is something there that will help you.
it s pure jealousy, wash your hair lol it s hilarioua