Let’s be honest, homegirl Abbigail going out of her way to cherry pick some research to support her claims isn’t “digging”. Lol. Peer reviewed scholarly sources have left the chat. Feminists aren’t even trying to abolish marriage, we just acknowledge that it is historically patriarchal because it was oppressive to women. I also think it’s strange that she chose to bring up that children from separated parents do worse, because this is a separate issue. That’s when marriage fails, or the father leaves, but we never hear about the men who don’t stay. 🙄
Well, the Marriage was and is No picnic for Men either!!! As a man, your freedom is gone!!! You have to please your wife or feel her wrath, and most men really don’t want discontent in their households. It’s Not pleasant!! Children are another issue!!! Often the woman wants to have more than the man does, and many women dissociate financial circumstances from having more children. If you bring that up as a Husband, there is usually Hell to pay!! And Since, the 70s women have been increasingly running the show in the House!! Whether overtly, or passively, women are the bottom line in household decisions!! Husbands must follow along, or again face her wrath, or have sex withheld until the husbands comply with the edicts!!! I would Not want to get married for all the Rice 🍚 in China 🇨🇳!!! 😳😳 I have always said marriage might be a prison for women according to some, But it is a Death Sentence for Men, as born out by the fact that most wives outlive their husbands by several Decades!!! Marriage is a necessary evil for both sexes in order to keep civilization and society functioning, But it is certainly NO Picnic for either sex, and certainly NOT a desirable thing if one is just truly thinking about themselves and their own happiness regardless of their sex!
My one nitpick, out of many is her bringing up Henry VIII & Anne Boleyn’s marriage. Yes, Henry was obsessed with Anne, but he was also married (for nearly 20yrs) to Catherine of Aragon-which was a political marriage (if anything else) first. Also, she left out that Henry broke from Rome & the Catholic Church to marry Anne, in the end, to just kill her when she couldn’t provide a son. If that’s Abby’s basis of a good marriage, then, that tells me a lot.
Not to mention Anne wasn't even the one who Henry claimed to love the most, that was his next wife, Jane Seymour. Hes even buried next to her. Though let's be honest, it was mostly due to the fact that she was the one who he produced an heir with. But fr tho, Anne and Henry was probably the worst example she could've picked from besides him and Katherine Howard.
It's kinda sad that the only reason I know what you're talking about is because there's a musical about Henry's wives. It's called Six and it's amazing
Sorry Abby, I try to be nice on your channel in spite of our differences, but you got it wrong on many levels here. I'm a medievalist and while I'm not specialised in the history of marriage, I know a thing or two about it. While I think it's a gross generalisation to say that it's a patriarchal institution, it has been for many different cultures in various times in history. The simplest and honest answer to the question "Is marriage patriarchal?" would be: "It's complicated." While loving marriages exist in all time, the idea of marriage of love being the norm is a relatively novel idea in the west. In the middle ages, the two most famous couples of literature are adulterous ones and many defended the idea that true love could only exist between lovers, not husband and wife. And there are many other examples I could list where love came only after the marriage. Whether you agree with this vision of marriage or not is beside the point: it existed and still does in some cultures. Nowadays, and again I'm talking of the West, the norm is to marry who you love. I'm very happy that this is the case. But it was not always the case.
@@elenapederson1862 Thank you. I'd also like to add that ironically Abby's own vision of marriage is far more patriarchal and backwards than what she'd like to admit in this video. She once made an argument for marrying within your own faith. Now if you're a religious person, it makes perfect sense, whatever makes you happy. However, that doesn't suit everyone. I'm an atheist, married to an atheist, but I was raised Catholic. My wife is herself from a mixed culture background: her father is Jewish, her mother a Protestant. Now a hundred years ago, that would have been enough to make my marriage and my in-law's marriage almost impossible. The norm then was not to marry out of love, or at least love was subservient to religious conformity. If love is now the sine qua non motivation for marriage, at least in the West, at least in principle, this is because marriage has changed over the years. It's not that sacred thing that was divinely created. Now we marry who we love. There was a time you had to love who you marry.
Marriage is for people who make too much money and want the tax benefits of marriage lol. So it’s for people who believe in that lifestyle and some Uber rich tiers
People who describe what marriage is, often fail to remember that marriage has existed over thousands of years through countless cultures. There were times and places where women had great opportunity and rights and others where they were treated horribly.
Didn't marriage even begin as some kind of transaction. Like, to make peace with other lands or something. I don't think anyone genuinely really liked the other, it was just political. Or maybe my memory is just wonky lol.
True marriage is patriarchal, as it should be! Women came from a mans rib, the men in society are the leaders and that doesn't discredit women at all because they are far better caretakers than us, man and women are equal but not the same!
My parents marriage was not a good example so I didnt not want to get married, but I have found the one whom my soul desires so after almost 3 years I can clearly say that I cannot wait to marry my best friend
Same i like marriage much more now that i realized i could marry another woman. It seems so much brighter from when i was a kid and saw my parents together. I was like 👀 "thats bleak im not doing that" Glad its legal now
@@TheMsnitish I do have a daughter and I am married. She can absolutely get married if she wants. BUT for one to deny that marriage started out as a patriarchal system is naive at best.
@@crystalcausey2681 ah, origins.. alright. The whole society was patriarchal at that time and that was because technology did not evolve at that time to be able to neutralize the biological advantage men had when it comes to body muscle mass.
In some cases it is, in some cases it isn’t. There are a lot of the factors that go into it: the cultures, the beliefs, etc of the people. If people want to get married, that is their choice, if people don’t want to get married, that is their choice. It is the same with children and so means other things.
Cultures, opinions, ideas change, what doesnt change is the data on how well children do outside and inside wedlock and the stats are solid that marraige greatly produces more stable and succesful children And this has been tested cross cultures and countries So lets not ignore the fact that people "personal choices" about not having stable relationships happen at great sacrifice to the next generation, and when the next generation suffers. Everyone suffers
I honestly feel bad for people out there who think feminists are against marriage and children and femininity etc... its like they've developed an entire personality around a group of people who irl don't match the made up version in their heads. For every feminist that thinks marriage is exploitative there are hundreds who don't, but i guess getting mad at a caricature brings some sort of catharsis :/
Honestly, most of the conservative people I've seen arguing on the internet are arguing into a void. Most feminists aren't against marriage - they just recognise that it has been harmful/oppressive in the past but that doesn't mean they don't acknowledge how it has grown to be something beautiful. Most of the time these people create strawmen of feminist's arguments/points and then tear apart the false position they themselves created. It's just sad. We'll never get anywhere if they don't actually listen to what we're saying.
@@katie-mz6si Exactly. So much of internet politics is getting angry at a theoretical person and believing that everyone who disagrees wit you is that theoretical person.
I know more men than women who don’t want to get married because they “don’t need the government’s permission to have sex.” Please give your thoughts on this.
I really don’t think “feminists”, or how about we just call them “people these days” think that marriage is patriarchal. Practically everyone I know is a liberal and I’ve definitely never heard them discuss or even hint at that. It was, at times, in the past, but not today. You can do whatever you want and form your marriage/family system however you want. Everybody knows that.
Most normal feminists do believe that marriage is an equal thing nowdays. Most marriages are consensual which is great! The only place I’ve seen people say marriage is patriarchal is on tiktok. There’s this crazy woman who says it all the time and gets upset when people say otherwise like “I HAVE MY PHD!! YOU DONT KNOW SHIT”. Like... cool story, but even doctors can be wrong 😅
@@maddiemcnugget1076 "Most marriages are consensual"? The only ones that aren't are probably middle eastern or indian. I have an indian friend who like to point out the benefit of arranged marriages over "love marriages". These days we have to watch the effect of giving young women the power of choice, and overall they are doing abysmally, largely because the culture encourages them to be reckless, to think their feelings are somehow always right. We have more single motherhood, PTSD, depression, divorce, broken families and loneliness in old age than I think has been the case in history.
Is she trolling us the fact that she used Henry the 8th as an example of a loving husband 🤣😂🤣😂 He didn’t “protect” anybody or “support” any of his wives. He killed them for not producing a male heir.
omg same!! I keep reporting her ads in hopes I will one day not see them. But I finally got curious enough to watch one and its as garbage as I thought
@@bluejay316 lol she’s paying RUclips to advertise her, why would RUclips tell her to stop giving them money. You libs need to think more. It would help you a lot.
As an Indian i can say that marriage was never about love in ancient history or even now Arrange marriage still takes place in India... So no abby marriage was never about love in many places..it was all about social relations and stuff..
I am a Neurosurgeon raised by a single parent Physicist mom. I have had a much better childhood than most people would ever hope for(including you the Shapiros)Thank you for demonizing me.
Abby and Ben shapiro's whole shtick is purposefully missing the point on certain issues to make them seem outrageous to their conservative audience ++ then use straw man arguments to completely invalidate any issue brought up by the people they're criticising. For example "some feminists think marriage is sexist so that means we shouldn't listen to anything they have to say ever" there's only one right side and no nuance or substance to anything they say
@@handsomecriminal6942 nah you listen to a buncha exaggerated crap from talking heads and then believe "that's what everyone who i disagree with must believe" and then only listen to the lame commentators like ben shapiro, because you can't think for yourself but want to believe you do ++ only listen to things that don't challenge your already-held beliefs
A marital arrangement in which - Husband is the head of the wife/household. The wife and the children must take the husband's last name. The wife must submit to the husband and can exercise no authority over him. The wife must be a "keeper at home" (which would mean complete financial dependence on the husband so the husband has to provide) - is by definition Patriarchal. Now, whether it's seen as positive/beneficial or negative/disadvantageous depends on individuals. So, women can find this arrangement positive and beneficial but it is still patriarchal (by definition), just like the opposite of this arrangement would be matriarchal.
While I agree that it is possible, I have seen very beautiful examples of either homes where the parents aren't married but are living as husband and wives would, or where the parents are working together as co parents in separate homes providing a wonderful upbringing for their children.... This is the exception sadly not the rule... and to me that says less about the institution of marriage and more about how people do not put their children first.
why do you guys trust men so much? All men are eventually going to cheat or abuse their wife at least with marriage you can hold them more accountable.
Whether the marriage is traditional or not, I think one of the purposes of marriage is also to provide lifelong emotional protection, and I think this goes for both men and women. Men struggle to open up about their feelings, but when they truly love their wife, they show them the side of them that nobody else sees. It’s okay to feel, it’s okay to be vulnerable... I’ve been grieving my grandfather’s loss, and my boyfriend has been incredible with the emotional support that he’s given me. Another example that goes the other way, my boyfriend has been studying a lot for a really hard test that he has in August, and I can tell he’s anxious about it. I always hug him, stare into his eyes and tell him that he can do it - he just has to believe in himself. These little moments are the ones that I consider emotional protection, because it’s linked with intimacy and it’s a very unique, personal bond between two people.
That’s the way I personally view it. People say “ men protecting the woman is patriarchal” but they forget that the woman protects him too when he’s hurting, or when his day was awful at work, etc.
I agree. My husband and I have battled some rough waters together over the past 15 years. But we came through it stronger than ever. We have a deep understanding, trust and love for each other that took years to build. I can't imagine sharing my life with anyone else.
I'm sorry but i dont want my man to be emotionally unstable. I dont want to be his mother i want to be his wife. The children are the ones allowed to be unstable and emotional The parents, especially the husband should be the rock that maintains order and stability.
@@Disneydreamgirl33 I think you’re confusing emotional instability with having emotions. A human being can’t be a “rock” every time. People need someone to talk to and a good partner is often able to provide that. Of course it’s not one sided. Both partners should be able to give emotional support to each other.
Most men know for well and sure how easily replaceable they are should they make even the slightest mistake or show any signs of bad performance. Most girls have instagram and tinder so if he shows the slightest sign of weakness there are trillions of desperate thirsty men eager to replace him.
Don't forget the lyrics from the "Fiddler on the Roof" song "Do you love me?": Tevye: The first time I met you was on our wedding day. I was scared. Golde: I was shy. Tevye: I was nervous. Golde: So was I. Tevye: But my father and my father said we'd learn to love each other. So, now I'm asking, Golde... Tevye: Do you love me? Golde: I'm your wife! Tevye: I know. But do you love me?
I genuinely don't know why anybody wouldn't want to be married eventually. Not to somebody who treats them poorly, but why somebody wouldn't want a partner through life, whether or not you have children. There is something so refreshing about knowing with certainty that you have somebody that is always there to support you, protect you, and care about you more than anybody else.
I will answer from the perspective of person that doesn't really care much about marriage. I don't think marriage gives you safety or certainty, relationships alone between two humans, honesty, mutual understanding, communication is what makes someone feel safe, but even then nothing in life is 100% certain, people change. Just because they are married doesn't mean they won't change or stop loving someone. I see marriage ceremony as nice tradition and if someone likes that and makes them happy they should definitely celebrate it. Marriage alone makes sense for me when it comes to financial and legal stuff, nothing to do with emotions or being in love. I am not religious so it doesn't matter to me in that sense, but again if someone is, then marriage totally makes sense out of religious reasons.
Marriage is honestly a vocation. It’s not for everyone. Not everyone should get married. Not everyone is cut out for it. Some people are meant to be celibate. And that’s totally okay. Catholicism actually teaches this position, and I never knew until recently.
@@ntmn8444 I mean, if you want to be celibate, that is different. I know asexual/aromantic people as well, and obviously that is understandable, but those people are an outlier. I was just speaking about the general population.
I totally have friends who have this exact arrangement in their marriage and they're perfectly happy. It's about the partnership and support, not who plays what role.
I really don’t think you understand what a patriarchy means. Not to mention you’re saying legislation is basically pointless because if we don’t follow it through the law, it’s fine. I genuinely think you view the past as these beautiful time periods with beautiful families and happiness and strength. But you ignore what was going on behind the scenes. You’re describing what the ideal situation (for some) could have been like, but in reality it wasn’t that beautiful and romantic. No one is saying that there was never love with marriage when it started. I wish you would go on someone’s channel and actually talk to someone who disagrees with you and can explain why, you seem very enclosed in your little world. Feminists don’t hate all men. We want equality. Maybe do a little more research on why feminism was created. Also, I love how you were saying something like, “the feminists are preventing you from seeing the truth”. Like girl, we have no control over Google. Maybe it’s because there is actually statistics and proof to back up these claims that feminists make.
I 100% agree with you, why was there very little divorce in the 1930's, well maybe because woman couldn't open a bank account without a husband to co-sign. The pay for woman was significantly less and woman are the primary care givers. There was no government support. Without birth control many families had more than 2 children making it even more difficult to support on a singular woman's income. These things are not hard to look up or acknowledge.
It is proven that Google manipulates search results and will place articles that are more favorable to feminism on top of the search than those that are not in favor.
I was always taught that the first marriage was made by God when he created Adam and Eve. They were the first representation of the concept of marriage. With the creation of humans God simultaneously created the concept of marriage. Marriage is not just a paper but a covenant created by God from the very beginning.
By that logic, married non-Christians aren’t *really* married. It’s a religious institution sometimes, sure, but just as often it’s merely a civil contract.
@@Fearlessly91 I get your point...but the origins and the concept of marriage are found in the bible. Sure...a lot of married people are not christians or religious, but that does not change the concept of marriage, where it originates from and what it is. When you get married you usually declare infront of the law, your family and friends and infront of God that you are stepping into a covenant as a married couple and that you belong togeher. Marriage is in my eyes a beautiful, godly thing! And it is open to everyone...even to people who don't believe in God. The religious part of it is also the reason why a lot of unreligious people or couples dont want to get married at all or they dont want to get married in a church with the traditionel ceremony
Today’s feminists are too much. It’s because of today’s feminist that I changed my political views. Marriage is a beautiful thing! Marriage does not oppress or hurt women. Marrying the wrong partner hurts women.
I respect your opinion, but you need to understand that a lot of women and men marry from the societal pressure and feel the need to marry even though they don't want to. For some people marriage is a wonderful experience but some can't get out of those toxic relationship due to feeling that they will get a lot of hate and backlash from the society. Also divorce being a taboo( it's a taboo). Feminists are not saying that don't ever marry but they are saying to marry when you want to and you think you can handle the responsibilities they and you don't need to marry if you don't want to. Saying that feminism is putting down other people's views while trying to imply that their views are superior is straight up bullshit. Please try to understand what feminism is really about before talking bullshit about it.
@@shreyasingh6150 I said Today’s feminist. I am a woman and would never put another women down but today’s feminist are going to far. I am a mother of two boys and will stand up for men’s rights as well as women. No one should ever marry unless they want to. There are many other ways to make money nowadays then to marry strictly to be supported. I myself I am a divorced woman. I didn’t care what anyone thought when I decided to leave for mine and my boys well being. I have forgiven my ex-husband and we get along well for our boys sake. We were just not meant to be together. He was not the one God chose for me. I chose him myself because I was in love but I was also very young and really didn’t know what love was but I have no hard feelings towards him nor him towards me.
@@Whitericeinmysalad See, I get your point and all but that's clearly from your perspective a lot of unprivileged people don't get the resources and opportunities we have the support to. I live in India and maids usually comes to our house to help with the cooking and stuff and lemme say many of them are victims of domestic violence, they earn to but they can't leave their partners even if they want to and one of the many reasons is societal pressure and the shame and hate people give to women who are divorced ( in my country divorcee is a taboo) and your so called TODAY'S FEMINISTS are trying to say that these women deserve better. I wish you and your family the best but you need to understand that there are people that are not as privileged as some of us and we need to think from their perspective too.
@@shreyasingh6150 Of course those women in the situations you speak of deserve much better. I pray that things change for the better for them. I totally understand believe me. However I disagree with some feminist views especially when it comes to their thoughts on all marriage. Not all marriage is oppressive. Marrying the wrong person and being forced to marry are the only negative things about marriage.
She praises her opinions and how she is a conservative, and yes everyone has different opinions but just seeing how brainwashed someone can be is sad. I’ve read some comments and others arguing about being Liberal or Conservative and it’s sad how that’s just how it is now. But some conservatives are dumb and brainwashed and same with some Liberals. But I hate how every time she talks about marriage it’s about a man and woman, marriage is between anyone.
She’s a homophobic bigot, that’s why. Anyone whose narrative only mentions man and women is backward minded and dangerous towards sexually and gender diverse individuals. Content like this needs to be banned. Think of the innocent children.
I can’t believe women would be so foolish to believe that they’re better off doing motherhood all alone at home, rather than with a loving husband and father of her children! If women really think this, it’s absurd! I know this because I’ve had to raise all my children alone. It would have been infinitely easier with a loving husband/father! Plus, he would have provided for us! Instead, I’ve had to always be the bread-winner at the same time I was raising my children, which is never easy. This should be a no-brainer!! In case you’re wondering, my husband abandoned us; I did not choose this life style.
Your experience is proof that marriage is not a guarantee to protection and a lifelong companion. You had a husband that choose to leave you. Marriage means nothing and is not eternal. To think so is foolish. What’s important is mutual love and respect and choosing to stay together as long as both parties want to.
I’m glad you finally found your audience this is the first video I’ve ever seen of yours where all the comments weren’t trolling and mocking you. Now if only you could stop popping up on my recommended section
@@rachelberrythegleequeen.3221 👀👀👀 The eyes of the law says Same sex marriages are just as REAL as heterosexual ones. 💅 I dont know if this the first you heard of it but thats been in place in the USA since 2016. Oh its real as State income tax.
@@elenapederson1862 whatever keep supporting the alphabets community delusions. You are most likely to get ab. use when in those types of relationships.
@@emmahollow8898 👀👀👀 Statistics where? 🤣 You literally just made that up. The National Coalition Against Dosmestic Violence just stats the 1 in 4 women and 1 in 9 men but notthing about a specific sexuality . I would even hazard a guess that the rates are the same because BREAKING NEWS we are all just humans! Being in a same sex relationship dosen't give you superpowers at the end of the day everyone is just a human and deserve respect. You and I are not so different we both have blood running through our veins. Try to brigde that gap see things as they are. Everyone wants to be loved.
Interesting how you claim that looking at history from a modern lens distorts history, yet then say “I imagine women at the time felt this way”. If the former is true, the latter is also a distorted interpretation of history. Just saying.
I don’t see why you think you must be so rude! I didn’t even get that rude about it, and I have severe dyslexia/dyscalcula. Obviously, you are a leftist troll. Why don’t you go do something productive with your time, such as, if you’re going to watch conservative videos, at least do so with an eye single to actually learning wisdom, rather than seeing how damned negative you can possibly be? At least Classically Abby is a lady, which is a hella lot more than I can say for you!
@@isa5104 It’s because same se X couples often come from abu S iV e and bad environments and/or they tend to have mental issues and they carry those traumas forever without ever addressing them. It’s also because the balance of the feminine and the masculine is not being met and can never be met in same s E x. Imbalances create chaos. Most same se X relationships do not last very long and cheating is a big issue, even bigger than in straights. But it’s all about love is love huh?
I don't necessarily agree with all of your videos or your thoughts but this was on my recommended so I decided to watch it because I was interested in what you had to say and I did not finish the video but I got about halfway through and would definitely say that I agree with you on this (at least from what I've seen so far). I myself am Muslim and there's this huge misconception that Muslim women are treated bad and are the property of their husbands, have no rights, etc. etc. so I wanted to shed light on a few misconceptions for anyone who may be unaware. -In Islam, a woman's money is hers & hers alone whereas a men MUST provide for his wife but a women isn't obligated to financially help her husband -Women have the right to divorce -Women CANNOT be forced into marriage; and just so many other misconceptions out there. that was just a few but I wanted to make it known since modern day feminists and lots of conservatives seem to thing Muslim woman are oppressed and living in misery. In fact, Muslim women aren't even required to do any house work if they don't want to. In the end, marriage truly is a protection for woman. Also, you mentioned polygamy, which is permitted in Islam BUT it was sent down during a time of war because many women were left widowed and children fatherless so this was to protect women & children, not for the gain of men so they could "have fun". In fact, the view is very similar to that of Judaism (when it was permitted) to which men must provide every wife with the same exact levels of affection, finances, etc. and following the revelation of that verse, God actually sends down another verse in which he tells men that this is not within their capabilities and it's best to just marry one- so polygamy was ultimately very time specific due to that specific war which left many women widowed and children fatherless.
Absolutely. This is a point I think Islam makes really well for the woman. Marriage is definitely a protection for the woman, and it is very much still seen this way in many parts of the world.
It is imperative to note that women and marriage are different in Muslim-majority and Muslim-ruled countries than in the United States. And also imperative to note that there are many versions of The Quran, which say different things, and which are followed by Muslims, most of whom do not compare them all, side-by-side-by-side-etc., just as most Christians don’t bother to study Bibles in comparison to each other, and either think it doesn’t matter what version of The Bible anyone reads, or are bothered when someone points out differences between one translation of The Bible versus someone else’s Bible that is obviously missing a LOT of important text.
I've been to a Muslim wedding once in my life. The bride was (is still) a friend of my wife. And that was the textbook definition of a patriarchal marriage. We were shocked. Not that it's exclusive to Muslims: two years later we went to a Jehovah's Witness wedding and that was pretty phallocratic too.
It’s funny you said the same thing and said, you you’ve received nothing, but praise while she’s bashed. I think it’s, because your culture and religion is view as foreign and therefore needs to be respected whereas hers is viewed as more western and out dated. Jewish people, Christians and Muslim have very similar beliefs when it comes to marriage but only Muslim in the US are allowed to say their perspective without shame, much of the time although not always.
I think the issue is that modern western society views women as being a victim and oppressed when actually women have been celebrated and worshipped for being able to give life in many cultures and have had rights before
Wtf! Why does she keep popping up in my feed? I don’t watch her, I don’t know anyone who does. So annoying. And why are all of her videos ads? Who is paying to have this person all over RUclips and why?
I can tell a lot of work went into this video, Abby! I appreciate all of the definitions you presented as well! They were super helpful. I’m not a subscriber, but like everyone else I’ve seen your ads. This is the first video I’ve watched from you. Keep going! It’s nice to listen to perspectives that are not like my own! Insightful even if I’m not sure I 100% agree…
We haven’t. It’s completely the way the world was created for men and women to need each other. People who deny this are usually not the happier group, statistically.
@-pansexualbean- you can think that all you want. Doesn’t make it true that that’s what would make you happiest. There’s a reason men and women coming together to form a family has worked so well for human beings for thousands of years.
We don’t We think it’s oppressive that women feel the need to get married to have a happy life I respect women who choose to get married and I truly love the ideal of two partners committing to each other But there are some lifestyles where people need to realize that there are other options
@@lexihall7383 what if I told you…that you’re right, and it really isn’t for everyone and there are religious institutions out there teaching this exact thing since their inception?
@@ntmn8444 @Lexi Hall i wasn't insinuating that marriage was for everyone. There was no hidden meaning in my comment. I stated what marriage actually was. Oppression is not the presence or lack of someone's feelings/emotions.... it's the subjugation of their rights.
Also, if a man back then got married, and did not like his wife, he didn't want to have sex with his wife- it's not like he lost or he's at a disadvantage. He would just cheat. Go out to the brothels. It happened all the time and it still happens. The man (if he was a bad dude) just gained someone to take advantage of in lots of these marriage contracts from back in the day.
@@handsomecriminal6942 do you the see the number of dislikes right there? Do you think I created all the fake accounts and disliked. Lol. What do you mean by “what’s your problem” 😂
@@handsomecriminal6942 this useless sweetie does nothing but being others down through her content all the time. Why do you think, all of her videos are universally hated, disliked, and mocked.
@@ExMuslimRev11 What makes her "useless” and in which way does she bring others down? Dude her husband is blessed having a woman with such high standards for herself in this day and age.
Darwin has a say here... Marriage is basically the principle of sexual selection enshrined in a religious ceremony. chimpanzees are still chimps because they don't practise pair bonding and sexual selection. So there is nothing patriarchal about it, though there most certainly is something human about it. Does this mean that the feminist ideology which promotes promiscuity, childlessness and gracelessness is anti human? Well yes, though it's more specifically targetted than that. Grace is a fundamental aspect of beauty in both sexes and is enshrined in Christianity. Feminism is basically an antireligion to Christianity.
There are a few factual issues with your argument, but I specifically wanted to comment that religious marriage did not begin with Judaism and the Torah. Religious marriage was not only a part of ancient Greek society, but part of their foundational myths and their pantheon-- divine marriages which are estimated to have been told of since about 300 years before the Torah was written.
I’ve looked through history and find women who are pretty darn powerful. I also find that poorer families the wives were not some pushover. In my marriage/ in my parents marriage/ in most marriages I’ve seen, the wife definitely is equal, and in some areas of family management, have more say. Heck, Sarah got Abraham to doubt God and have a child with her servant.
The thing with these feminists is they completely remove love from every single viewpoint they have. They act like it doesn’t exist and has never existed.
@@mindflayer0319 the real idiot is so ignorant and prideful they assume that someone isn’t educated on a subject just because someone outside of their sphere has something to say that isn’t as easily understood by them.
@@mamajo5867 Ik you think you sound intelligent but you rly aren’t. Feminism at its core isn’t just some spectrum. Feminism is equality. If you’re against women being able to be independent of men then you just hate women.
It’s weird that you said “as a black man” then proceeded to mention your wife is Jewish. Wouldn’t it be better to say she’s white or whatever. Alternatively you could have said you’re Christian and she’s Jewish. Not saying that you are, it was just an example
Women and men married for the money, alliances and power, just as today, but they were open about it. Love grew later. Now they marry because looks and money but deny it. It is all so dishonest.
I sincerely thank you for the content you provide. My daughter and I watch together and have discussions about the content. It is imperative that you and other women like you continue your work for the future generations of women. Thank you.
@@sanjanaappel4543 where did she say that she’s telling her daughter to tolerate abuse? Go write your feminist oppression fanfiction stories somewhere else. You’re delusional. Get help.
@@sanjanaappel4543 Practice what you preach. Your hate and desire to opress others is obvious. "You can fool some people sometimes, but you can't fool all the people all the time."
@@sanjanaappel4543 Read your own comments. You are here to tear down others, not to lift up. To show hate to women and not tolerance and love. You have made yourself clear.
@@sanjanaappel4543 girl, you made you a bunch of things that no one said. No one is telling women to tolerate abusive what is wrong with you? Just say you hate men. I see you deleted your comment where you made you a bunch of stuff that no one said. Perhaps you realized that you sounded a little more insane than usual? Tell me where you got that conservatives don’t respect themselves. You live in world where you can’t fathom that conservative women can be happy. You probably think cardi b is an empowered woman who should be looked up to 😂
Historically, marriage was clearly patriarchal. Duh. But currently in the U.S. at least, it doesnt have to be. It depends on your mindset and if you marry someone who is a functional adult.
I think you’re so sweet and adorable but I’m afraid you’d hate me or think less of me because I’m not married. Do you personally think I’m a bad person because I think girls should be free to choose their path? Because I believe that God wants me to do things that make me happy, as long as I’m not hurting anyone. Am I wrong for thinking this way?
Throughout history, marriage has proven to be the best social framework not just for man, but also for women; it provided them with a responsible and loving husband who also happened to be an economic provider. It is understandable that feminists hate "patriarchy" since most feminists are not capable of finding a good husband to enter into a marriage with. Awesome video, Abby!
After 5 min into the vid she complains about how shows show modern feminist thought in classic and early modern era women, that most of them women would not think of careers and didn’t care for freedom that much, but earlier u Just said marriage isn’t patriarchal, but don’t patriarchal marriages cause women to be restricted?????! Now you are jus contradicting herself
@@halfwaytohomestead6066 My mistake, I meant the Torah. The Tanakh (thank you Aubrey) is the whole Old Testament, whereas the Torah is the first 5 books, Which contains the law and world history before the time of the judges of Israel.
This is great! I believe the great offense and upset is due to content of Character which “poisoned the apple barrel” so to speak regarding marriages. Some famous men were horrible to their wives. And many of us have seen that within our own families where they have been abusive, selfish, dangerous, and nasty. They definitely were not protective, selfless, wise, and good/ prudent men.
We gotta number one victory royale yeah Fortnite we bout’ to get down (get down) 10 kills on the board right now just wiped Tomato Town, my friend just got downed I revived him now we’re heading south bound now we’re in the pleasant park streets look at the map go to the marked sheet Take me to your Xbox to play Fortnite today we can go to Moisty Miers but not to loot lake is really love to, Chug jug with you, we can be pro Fortnite gamers… This was completely off my memory
I think it’s a bit different for men. I see it like this. Using your recipe analogy: if you watched someone baking a cake and they dropped 2 full sticks of butter in the mix, would you let them continue to cook the cake or would you immediately stop and rectify that situation before you continued baking said cake? That’s what we are doing to men we encourage to actively seek a wife without first telling them what makes a good wife and how to be a husband. We are expecting men to bake the cake without even telling them if there’s a recipe, let alone what it is. We need to stop and take a real serious look at the marital contract and how it applies to today and either go back to what it’s intended design was or get rid of it altogether as it relates to government and let the church, whatever church that may be, handle it. That being said, this was cool to watch. Very well presented and well written.
@@angeldream1 no, you're not raising anyone up when you're clearly missing the point of their comment, keep your ideas to yourself and stop playing victim
I loved this video! So interesting and filled with knowledge that’s just hidden away and not talked about. I appreciate all the work you put into researching this topic!
Let’s be honest, homegirl Abbigail going out of her way to cherry pick some research to support her claims isn’t “digging”. Lol. Peer reviewed scholarly sources have left the chat. Feminists aren’t even trying to abolish marriage, we just acknowledge that it is historically patriarchal because it was oppressive to women. I also think it’s strange that she chose to bring up that children from separated parents do worse, because this is a separate issue. That’s when marriage fails, or the father leaves, but we never hear about the men who don’t stay. 🙄
We stan critical thinking!
Well, the Marriage was and is No picnic for Men either!!! As a man, your freedom is gone!!! You have to please your wife or feel her wrath, and most men really don’t want discontent in their households. It’s Not pleasant!! Children are another issue!!! Often the woman wants to have more than the man does, and many women dissociate financial circumstances from having more children. If you bring that up as a Husband, there is usually Hell to pay!! And Since, the 70s women have been increasingly running the show in the House!! Whether overtly, or passively, women are the bottom line in household decisions!! Husbands must follow along, or again face her wrath, or have sex withheld until the husbands comply with the edicts!!! I would Not want to get married for all the Rice 🍚 in China 🇨🇳!!! 😳😳 I have always said marriage might be a prison for women according to some, But it is a Death Sentence for Men, as born out by the fact that most wives outlive their husbands by several Decades!!! Marriage is a necessary evil for both sexes in order to keep civilization and society functioning, But it is certainly NO Picnic for either sex, and certainly NOT a desirable thing if one is just truly thinking about themselves and their own happiness regardless of their sex!
M
O
"Historically" is a bit inaccurate, marriage in still very patriarchal in majority of the world
@Will Holl but overwhelmingly it is the men doing the abusing and society has been geared up to protect male abusive behaviour.
My one nitpick, out of many is her bringing up Henry VIII & Anne Boleyn’s marriage. Yes, Henry was obsessed with Anne, but he was also married (for nearly 20yrs) to Catherine of Aragon-which was a political marriage (if anything else) first. Also, she left out that Henry broke from Rome & the Catholic Church to marry Anne, in the end, to just kill her when she couldn’t provide a son. If that’s Abby’s basis of a good marriage, then, that tells me a lot.
Not to mention Anne wasn't even the one who Henry claimed to love the most, that was his next wife, Jane Seymour. Hes even buried next to her. Though let's be honest, it was mostly due to the fact that she was the one who he produced an heir with. But fr tho, Anne and Henry was probably the worst example she could've picked from besides him and Katherine Howard.
It's kinda sad that the only reason I know what you're talking about is because there's a musical about Henry's wives. It's called Six and it's amazing
@@barbaraw1245 omg I love six!
yeah like he had six wives, they were nearly all political, and he only “loved” them until he realized they wouldn’t produce a male heir. 😀
@@barbaraw1245 I've been eager to see SIX!
Sorry Abby, I try to be nice on your channel in spite of our differences, but you got it wrong on many levels here. I'm a medievalist and while I'm not specialised in the history of marriage, I know a thing or two about it. While I think it's a gross generalisation to say that it's a patriarchal institution, it has been for many different cultures in various times in history. The simplest and honest answer to the question "Is marriage patriarchal?" would be: "It's complicated." While loving marriages exist in all time, the idea of marriage of love being the norm is a relatively novel idea in the west. In the middle ages, the two most famous couples of literature are adulterous ones and many defended the idea that true love could only exist between lovers, not husband and wife. And there are many other examples I could list where love came only after the marriage. Whether you agree with this vision of marriage or not is beside the point: it existed and still does in some cultures. Nowadays, and again I'm talking of the West, the norm is to marry who you love. I'm very happy that this is the case. But it was not always the case.
SAY IT AGAIN FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK! 👏👏👏👏
@@elenapederson1862 Thank you. I'd also like to add that ironically Abby's own vision of marriage is far more patriarchal and backwards than what she'd like to admit in this video. She once made an argument for marrying within your own faith. Now if you're a religious person, it makes perfect sense, whatever makes you happy. However, that doesn't suit everyone. I'm an atheist, married to an atheist, but I was raised Catholic. My wife is herself from a mixed culture background: her father is Jewish, her mother a Protestant. Now a hundred years ago, that would have been enough to make my marriage and my in-law's marriage almost impossible. The norm then was not to marry out of love, or at least love was subservient to religious conformity. If love is now the sine qua non motivation for marriage, at least in the West, at least in principle, this is because marriage has changed over the years. It's not that sacred thing that was divinely created. Now we marry who we love. There was a time you had to love who you marry.
I thoroughly enjoyed reading your comments and I feel that they provided lots of insight, thank you
What are the two literary works you mean?
@@xocoyotl4 Lancelot and Queen Gueneveer and Tristan and Isolt. Both adulterous couples.
Just do what makes you happy, marriage is not for everyone.
Absolutely.
Marriage is for people who make too much money and want the tax benefits of marriage lol.
So it’s for people who believe in that lifestyle and some Uber rich tiers
Marriage is for everyone. It just that some people have been mind controlled into thinking that they are part of the alphabet community.
“Just do what makes you happy” is like saying “love is love” both are ignorant and delusional.
@@emmahollow8898 you are ignorant in saying that something that works for YOU works for everyone. Stop projecting your feelings on to other people.
People who describe what marriage is, often fail to remember that marriage has existed over thousands of years through countless cultures. There were times and places where women had great opportunity and rights and others where they were treated horribly.
or you know they know that and still have an opinion that differs from them
“People who describe civil rights often fail to remember that people in other cultures had rights and still died and had problems in life.”
@@Punkini not really the same is it?
Didn't marriage even begin as some kind of transaction. Like, to make peace with other lands or something. I don't think anyone genuinely really liked the other, it was just political. Or maybe my memory is just wonky lol.
@@yurimessiah not sure how it started but yes, many marriages were political.
Imagine having to advertise for your RUclips videos.
Literally
Exactly
Right
Fr
ikr
RUclips FOR THE LOVE OF GOD PLEASE STOP RECOMMENDING THIS CONSERVATIVE AGENGA TO ME PLEASE
PLEASEEEE! Lol.
I really want to know how much it costs her to reach ME of all people. Like so confused.
Thank you! I can’t even shit watch this garbage.
@@kierrabanks165 it doesn't cost her anything, she's probably backed by conservative lobbying group who pay for all this add space
"Is marriage patriarchal?"
Short answer, not if you're a lesbian!
True marriage is patriarchal, as it should be! Women came from a mans rib, the men in society are the leaders and that doesn't discredit women at all because they are far better caretakers than us, man and women are equal but not the same!
@@conservativetruck8428 anyways....
Period
@@conservativetruck8428 Women didn't come from a man's rib. The man came out of the women's vag*na
@@ishiq009 You're not a christian so obviously you'll push your agenda to get rid of morals
"Research" isn't reading articles written by journalists...it's reading academic peer-reviewed journals and articles. Just so you know.
My parents marriage was not a good example so I didnt not want to get married, but I have found the one whom my soul desires so after almost 3 years I can clearly say that I cannot wait to marry my best friend
Same i like marriage much more now that i realized i could marry another woman. It seems so much brighter from when i was a kid and saw my parents together. I was like 👀 "thats bleak im not doing that" Glad its legal now
I’m very happy for you :)
So beautiful!!! Congratulations 🎉
aww this is sweet. congratulations on finding your life partner and soulmate
@@kerenperez9722 thank you very much :))
Just because women benefited from Marriage in the past DOES NOT mean it wasn't a patriarchal system. She's just breezing over what Patriarchal means.
so, would you suggest your daughter (if you have) to not marry coz it's patriarchal ?
@@TheMsnitish I do have a daughter and I am married. She can absolutely get married if she wants. BUT for one to deny that marriage started out as a patriarchal system is naive at best.
@@crystalcausey2681 ah, origins.. alright. The whole society was patriarchal at that time and that was because technology did not evolve at that time to be able to neutralize the biological advantage men had when it comes to body muscle mass.
I don’t understand how someone can research so much and still be stupid
What are you talking about?
We get it, you hate men
She didn’t actually do research 👀
Go back to ur feminist rallies
@@emmahollow8898 no, it’s a pandemic outside
Marriage, with the right person, for the right reasons, benefits both parties.
In some cases it is, in some cases it isn’t. There are a lot of the factors that go into it: the cultures, the beliefs, etc of the people. If people want to get married, that is their choice, if people don’t want to get married, that is their choice. It is the same with children and so means other things.
Cultures, opinions, ideas change, what doesnt change is the data on how well children do outside and inside wedlock and the stats are solid that marraige greatly produces more stable and succesful children
And this has been tested cross cultures and countries
So lets not ignore the fact that people "personal choices" about not having stable relationships happen at great sacrifice to the next generation, and when the next generation suffers. Everyone suffers
@@Disneydreamgirl33 that was not my point. I see what you are saying though.
Women were literally sold to their husbands…
I mean, you have to take the man's last name. Why's that? Sounds patriarchal to me.
It's not compulsory though.
A strawberry dosen't approve you Abigail.
🤣🤣🤣
I honestly feel bad for people out there who think feminists are against marriage and children and femininity etc... its like they've developed an entire personality around a group of people who irl don't match the made up version in their heads. For every feminist that thinks marriage is exploitative there are hundreds who don't, but i guess getting mad at a caricature brings some sort of catharsis :/
Welcome to modern politics. Things needed to move fast, give out emotions, and be simple, so we threw out all diversity and nuance.
Honestly, most of the conservative people I've seen arguing on the internet are arguing into a void. Most feminists aren't against marriage - they just recognise that it has been harmful/oppressive in the past but that doesn't mean they don't acknowledge how it has grown to be something beautiful. Most of the time these people create strawmen of feminist's arguments/points and then tear apart the false position they themselves created. It's just sad. We'll never get anywhere if they don't actually listen to what we're saying.
@@katie-mz6si Exactly. So much of internet politics is getting angry at a theoretical person and believing that everyone who disagrees wit you is that theoretical person.
I know more men than women who don’t want to get married because they “don’t need the government’s permission to have sex.” Please give your thoughts on this.
Ok..?
There’s nothing inherently wrong with that, they’re not breaking the law or hurting anyone, just lets everyone know they’re idiots.
Typical male 🙄. They just want an excuse to sleep around and not claim their kids.
@@emmahollow8898 Said by a not male
@@emmahollow8898 huh
I really don’t think “feminists”, or how about we just call them “people these days” think that marriage is patriarchal. Practically everyone I know is a liberal and I’ve definitely never heard them discuss or even hint at that. It was, at times, in the past, but not today. You can do whatever you want and form your marriage/family system however you want. Everybody knows that.
Yeah you can do whatever you want, but not everything will be functional.
Most normal feminists do believe that marriage is an equal thing nowdays. Most marriages are consensual which is great!
The only place I’ve seen people say marriage is patriarchal is on tiktok. There’s this crazy woman who says it all the time and gets upset when people say otherwise like “I HAVE MY PHD!! YOU DONT KNOW SHIT”. Like... cool story, but even doctors can be wrong 😅
@@maddiemcnugget1076 "Most marriages are consensual"? The only ones that aren't are probably middle eastern or indian. I have an indian friend who like to point out the benefit of arranged marriages over "love marriages".
These days we have to watch the effect of giving young women the power of choice, and overall they are doing abysmally, largely because the culture encourages them to be reckless, to think their feelings are somehow always right. We have more single motherhood, PTSD, depression, divorce, broken families and loneliness in old age than I think has been the case in history.
Is she trolling us the fact that she used Henry the 8th as an example of a loving husband 🤣😂🤣😂 He didn’t “protect” anybody or “support” any of his wives. He killed them for not producing a male heir.
Based
STOP PUTTING OUT ADS ITS SO ANNOYING
Generally curious how much money you waste on ads…. What I wouldn’t give to have you stop popping up.
omg same!! I keep reporting her ads in hopes I will one day not see them. But I finally got curious enough to watch one and its as garbage as I thought
my hope is that eventually youtube will ban her from ads
@@bluejay316 lol she’s paying RUclips to advertise her, why would RUclips tell her to stop giving them money. You libs need to think more. It would help you a lot.
@@adriana12995 do you... do you not know what hope means?
@@bluejay316 well your hope is stupid cause that’s not gonna happen. Sorry.
As an Indian i can say that marriage was never about love in ancient history or even now
Arrange marriage still takes place in India...
So no abby marriage was never about love in many places..it was all about social relations and stuff..
I am a Neurosurgeon raised by a single parent Physicist mom. I have had a much better childhood than most people would ever hope for(including you the Shapiros)Thank you for demonizing me.
Abby and Ben shapiro's whole shtick is purposefully missing the point on certain issues to make them seem outrageous to their conservative audience ++ then use straw man arguments to completely invalidate any issue brought up by the people they're criticising. For example "some feminists think marriage is sexist so that means we shouldn't listen to anything they have to say ever" there's only one right side and no nuance or substance to anything they say
Indoctrinating us into an us vs them worldview. Keeping us fighting each other. ):
Most modern feminists are insane either way so no point in really listening at this point. I tried many years.
@@handsomecriminal6942 you're literally illustrating the point I made in my comment lol.
@@11mazatl We tried listening to y’all, we really did.
@@handsomecriminal6942 nah you listen to a buncha exaggerated crap from talking heads and then believe "that's what everyone who i disagree with must believe" and then only listen to the lame commentators like ben shapiro, because you can't think for yourself but want to believe you do ++ only listen to things that don't challenge your already-held beliefs
A marital arrangement in which -
Husband is the head of the wife/household.
The wife and the children must take the husband's last name.
The wife must submit to the husband and can exercise no authority over him.
The wife must be a "keeper at home" (which would mean complete financial dependence on the husband so the husband has to provide) -
is by definition Patriarchal. Now, whether it's seen as positive/beneficial or negative/disadvantageous depends on individuals. So, women can find this arrangement positive and beneficial but it is still patriarchal (by definition), just like the opposite of this arrangement would be matriarchal.
Love, support, protection, and parenting etc can still happen beautifully in a relationship without marriage.
Yeah, that's precisely why single motherhood it's plummeting in the Western World...oh, wait.
While I agree that it is possible, I have seen very beautiful examples of either homes where the parents aren't married but are living as husband and wives would, or where the parents are working together as co parents in separate homes providing a wonderful upbringing for their children.... This is the exception sadly not the rule... and to me that says less about the institution of marriage and more about how people do not put their children first.
why do you guys trust men so much? All men are eventually going to cheat or abuse their wife at least with marriage you can hold them more accountable.
@@thamieklybodonmi exactly women trust men way to much when men barely respect women. At least marriage can help hold people accountable.
@@emmahollow8898 so are you saying that women should marry women???
I'm BEGGING YOU, stop with the ads!!!
Whether the marriage is traditional or not, I think one of the purposes of marriage is also to provide lifelong emotional protection, and I think this goes for both men and women. Men struggle to open up about their feelings, but when they truly love their wife, they show them the side of them that nobody else sees. It’s okay to feel, it’s okay to be vulnerable... I’ve been grieving my grandfather’s loss, and my boyfriend has been incredible with the emotional support that he’s given me. Another example that goes the other way, my boyfriend has been studying a lot for a really hard test that he has in August, and I can tell he’s anxious about it. I always hug him, stare into his eyes and tell him that he can do it - he just has to believe in himself. These little moments are the ones that I consider emotional protection, because it’s linked with intimacy and it’s a very unique, personal bond between two people.
That’s the way I personally view it. People say “ men protecting the woman is patriarchal” but they forget that the woman protects him too when he’s hurting, or when his day was awful at work, etc.
I agree. My husband and I have battled some rough waters together over the past 15 years. But we came through it stronger than ever. We have a deep understanding, trust and love for each other that took years to build. I can't imagine sharing my life with anyone else.
I'm sorry but i dont want my man to be emotionally unstable. I dont want to be his mother i want to be his wife.
The children are the ones allowed to be unstable and emotional
The parents, especially the husband should be the rock that maintains order and stability.
@@Disneydreamgirl33 I think you’re confusing emotional instability with having emotions. A human being can’t be a “rock” every time. People need someone to talk to and a good partner is often able to provide that. Of course it’s not one sided. Both partners should be able to give emotional support to each other.
Most men know for well and sure how easily replaceable they are should they make even the slightest mistake or show any signs of bad performance. Most girls have instagram and tinder so if he shows the slightest sign of weakness there are trillions of desperate thirsty men eager to replace him.
WHY DOES SHE KEEP COMING BACK EVEN AFTER I CLICK “DONT RECOMMEND” ON HER ADS
Don't forget the lyrics from the "Fiddler on the Roof" song "Do you love me?":
Tevye: The first time I met you was on our wedding day. I was scared.
Golde: I was shy.
Tevye: I was nervous.
Golde: So was I.
Tevye: But my father and my father said we'd learn to love each other.
So, now I'm asking, Golde...
Tevye: Do you love me?
Golde: I'm your wife!
Tevye: I know. But do you love me?
I genuinely don't know why anybody wouldn't want to be married eventually. Not to somebody who treats them poorly, but why somebody wouldn't want a partner through life, whether or not you have children. There is something so refreshing about knowing with certainty that you have somebody that is always there to support you, protect you, and care about you more than anybody else.
I will answer from the perspective of person that doesn't really care much about marriage.
I don't think marriage gives you safety or certainty, relationships alone between two humans, honesty, mutual understanding, communication is what makes someone feel safe, but even then nothing in life is 100% certain, people change. Just because they are married doesn't mean they won't change or stop loving someone.
I see marriage ceremony as nice tradition and if someone likes that and makes them happy they should definitely celebrate it. Marriage alone makes sense for me when it comes to financial and legal stuff, nothing to do with emotions or being in love.
I am not religious so it doesn't matter to me in that sense, but again if someone is, then marriage totally makes sense out of religious reasons.
Marriage is honestly a vocation. It’s not for everyone. Not everyone should get married. Not everyone is cut out for it. Some people are meant to be celibate. And that’s totally okay. Catholicism actually teaches this position, and I never knew until recently.
@@ntmn8444 I mean, if you want to be celibate, that is different. I know asexual/aromantic people as well, and obviously that is understandable, but those people are an outlier. I was just speaking about the general population.
I'm celibate, but I'm not aromantic or anything. It is just a choice I made.
@@katewexell yes, about the general population, marriage isn’t for everyone. I only gave celibacy as an example.
Wait what if a women wants to get a job and the father wants to take care of the kids? You act as if only the men provide for the family.
I totally have friends who have this exact arrangement in their marriage and they're perfectly happy. It's about the partnership and support, not who plays what role.
That means they are secretly homosexuals who are in the wrong relationship.
@@emmahollow8898 oh my god it’s you again, do you just go around spreading hate like it’s glitter or something? like dude c’mon
@@emmahollow8898 dude shut up
@@kristideeley that’s great, good for you
I really don’t think you understand what a patriarchy means. Not to mention you’re saying legislation is basically pointless because if we don’t follow it through the law, it’s fine.
I genuinely think you view the past as these beautiful time periods with beautiful families and happiness and strength. But you ignore what was going on behind the scenes. You’re describing what the ideal situation (for some) could have been like, but in reality it wasn’t that beautiful and romantic. No one is saying that there was never love with marriage when it started.
I wish you would go on someone’s channel and actually talk to someone who disagrees with you and can explain why, you seem very enclosed in your little world.
Feminists don’t hate all men. We want equality. Maybe do a little more research on why feminism was created.
Also, I love how you were saying something like, “the feminists are preventing you from seeing the truth”. Like girl, we have no control over Google. Maybe it’s because there is actually statistics and proof to back up these claims that feminists make.
I 100% agree with you, why was there very little divorce in the 1930's, well maybe because woman couldn't open a bank account without a husband to co-sign. The pay for woman was significantly less and woman are the primary care givers. There was no government support. Without birth control many families had more than 2 children making it even more difficult to support on a singular woman's income. These things are not hard to look up or acknowledge.
It is proven that Google manipulates search results and will place articles that are more favorable to feminism on top of the search than those that are not in favor.
@@martinasandoval5326 Please cite your source, I would love to read it.
I was always taught that the first marriage was made by God when he created Adam and Eve. They were the first representation of the concept of marriage. With the creation of humans God simultaneously created the concept of marriage. Marriage is not just a paper but a covenant created by God from the very beginning.
By that logic, married non-Christians aren’t *really* married. It’s a religious institution sometimes, sure, but just as often it’s merely a civil contract.
Marriage is a civil contract.
@@fb079 I would say: yes and no! Yes, it is a civil contract but it is also more than that
@@Fearlessly91 I get your point...but the origins and the concept of marriage are found in the bible. Sure...a lot of married people are not christians or religious, but that does not change the concept of marriage, where it originates from and what it is. When you get married you usually declare infront of the law, your family and friends and infront of God that you are stepping into a covenant as a married couple and that you belong togeher. Marriage is in my eyes a beautiful, godly thing! And it is open to everyone...even to people who don't believe in God. The religious part of it is also the reason why a lot of unreligious people or couples dont want to get married at all or they dont want to get married in a church with the traditionel ceremony
Today’s feminists are too much. It’s because of today’s feminist that I changed my political views. Marriage is a beautiful thing! Marriage does not oppress or hurt women. Marrying the wrong partner hurts women.
I respect your opinion, but you need to understand that a lot of women and men marry from the societal pressure and feel the need to marry even though they don't want to. For some people marriage is a wonderful experience but some can't get out of those toxic relationship due to feeling that they will get a lot of hate and backlash from the society. Also divorce being a taboo( it's a taboo). Feminists are not saying that don't ever marry but they are saying to marry when you want to and you think you can handle the responsibilities they and you don't need to marry if you don't want to. Saying that feminism is putting down other people's views while trying to imply that their views are superior is straight up bullshit. Please try to understand what feminism is really about before talking bullshit about it.
@Lucy-White rice in my salad Exactly!!
@@shreyasingh6150 I said Today’s feminist. I am a woman and would never put another women down but today’s feminist are going to far. I am a mother of two boys and will stand up for men’s rights as well as women. No one should ever marry unless they want to. There are many other ways to make money nowadays then to marry strictly to be supported. I myself I am a divorced woman. I didn’t care what anyone thought when I decided to leave for mine and my boys well being. I have forgiven my ex-husband and we get along well for our boys sake. We were just not meant to be together. He was not the one God chose for me. I chose him myself because I was in love but I was also very young and really didn’t know what love was but I have no hard feelings towards him nor him towards me.
@@Whitericeinmysalad See, I get your point and all but that's clearly from your perspective a lot of unprivileged people don't get the resources and opportunities we have the support to. I live in India and maids usually comes to our house to help with the cooking and stuff and lemme say many of them are victims of domestic violence, they earn to but they can't leave their partners even if they want to and one of the many reasons is societal pressure and the shame and hate people give to women who are divorced ( in my country divorcee is a taboo) and your so called TODAY'S FEMINISTS are trying to say that these women deserve better. I wish you and your family the best but you need to understand that there are people that are not as privileged as some of us and we need to think from their perspective too.
@@shreyasingh6150 Of course those women in the situations you speak of deserve much better. I pray that things change for the better for them. I totally understand believe me. However I disagree with some feminist views especially when it comes to their thoughts on all marriage. Not all marriage is oppressive. Marrying the wrong person and being forced to marry are the only negative things about marriage.
She praises her opinions and how she is a conservative, and yes everyone has different opinions but just seeing how brainwashed someone can be is sad. I’ve read some comments and others arguing about being Liberal or Conservative and it’s sad how that’s just how it is now. But some conservatives are dumb and brainwashed and same with some Liberals. But I hate how every time she talks about marriage it’s about a man and woman, marriage is between anyone.
She’s a homophobic bigot, that’s why. Anyone whose narrative only mentions man and women is backward minded and dangerous towards sexually and gender diverse individuals. Content like this needs to be banned. Think of the innocent children.
I can’t believe women would be so foolish to believe that they’re better off doing motherhood all alone at home, rather than with a loving husband and father of her children! If women really think this, it’s absurd! I know this because I’ve had to raise all my children alone. It would have been infinitely easier with a loving husband/father! Plus, he would have provided for us! Instead, I’ve had to always be the bread-winner at the same time I was raising my children, which is never easy. This should be a no-brainer!!
In case you’re wondering, my husband abandoned us; I did not choose this life style.
If it was that hard maybe you just did a shit job, Deborah.
Your experience is proof that marriage is not a guarantee to protection and a lifelong companion. You had a husband that choose to leave you. Marriage means nothing and is not eternal. To think so is foolish. What’s important is mutual love and respect and choosing to stay together as long as both parties want to.
I’m glad you finally found your audience this is the first video I’ve ever seen of yours where all the comments weren’t trolling and mocking you. Now if only you could stop popping up on my recommended section
you had us in the first half ngl
@@actuallyyoureright7041 🤣 make no mistake I am not a classical lady or whatever tf she calls her legion
@@vintageincolor lmao 😂
Abby I feel like you purposefully miss your own points just to be funny
I would love to be married and have a family I don’t think it’s patriarchal at all.
Its not patriarchal at all if it's two women raising a family together 🤔
@@elenapederson1862 i’m talking about real marriage I E the kind between a man and a woman.
@@rachelberrythegleequeen.3221 👀👀👀 The eyes of the law says Same sex marriages are just as REAL as heterosexual ones. 💅 I dont know if this the first you heard of it but thats been in place in the USA since 2016. Oh its real as State income tax.
@@elenapederson1862 whatever keep supporting the alphabets community delusions. You are most likely to get ab. use when in those types of relationships.
@@emmahollow8898 👀👀👀 Statistics where? 🤣 You literally just made that up. The National Coalition Against Dosmestic Violence just stats the 1 in 4 women and 1 in 9 men but notthing about a specific sexuality . I would even hazard a guess that the rates are the same because BREAKING NEWS we are all just humans! Being in a same sex relationship dosen't give you superpowers at the end of the day everyone is just a human and deserve respect. You and I are not so different we both have blood running through our veins. Try to brigde that gap see things as they are. Everyone wants to be loved.
Interesting how you claim that looking at history from a modern lens distorts history, yet then say “I imagine women at the time felt this way”. If the former is true, the latter is also a distorted interpretation of history. Just saying.
I don’t see why you think you must be so rude! I didn’t even get that rude about it, and I have severe dyslexia/dyscalcula. Obviously, you are a leftist troll. Why don’t you go do something productive with your time, such as, if you’re going to watch conservative videos, at least do so with an eye single to actually learning wisdom, rather than seeing how damned negative you can possibly be? At least Classically Abby is a lady, which is a hella lot more than I can say for you!
@@kayceequesadilla I don't see how this comment was rude.
Right!! I thought the same, as if she put herself in their shoes and were there
Question: What’s your opinion on same sex marriage?
🤢🤢🤢
@@emmahollow8898 holy shit emma you’re everywhere
It’s deg E neRat and DoM esTi c vioL enCe is disproportionately higher among them than in regular marriages
@@adriana12995 here’s the bigger question: why is domestic violence disproportionately higher in same sex couples?
@@isa5104
It’s because same se X couples often come from abu S iV e and bad environments and/or they tend to have mental issues and they carry those traumas forever without ever addressing them. It’s also because the balance of the feminine and the masculine is not being met and can never be met in same s E x. Imbalances create chaos.
Most same se X relationships do not last very long and cheating is a big issue, even bigger than in straights. But it’s all about love is love huh?
I can’t express how much I enjoyed this video. This was a thorough and rushing video. I hope you continue to do videos similar to this in the future.
I don't necessarily agree with all of your videos or your thoughts but this was on my recommended so I decided to watch it because I was interested in what you had to say and I did not finish the video but I got about halfway through and would definitely say that I agree with you on this (at least from what I've seen so far). I myself am Muslim and there's this huge misconception that Muslim women are treated bad and are the property of their husbands, have no rights, etc. etc. so I wanted to shed light on a few misconceptions for anyone who may be unaware.
-In Islam, a woman's money is hers & hers alone whereas a men MUST provide for his wife but a women isn't obligated to financially help her husband
-Women have the right to divorce
-Women CANNOT be forced into marriage; and just so many other misconceptions out there. that was just a few but I wanted to make it known since modern day feminists and lots of conservatives seem to thing Muslim woman are oppressed and living in misery. In fact, Muslim women aren't even required to do any house work if they don't want to. In the end, marriage truly is a protection for woman.
Also, you mentioned polygamy, which is permitted in Islam BUT it was sent down during a time of war because many women were left widowed and children fatherless so this was to protect women & children, not for the gain of men so they could "have fun". In fact, the view is very similar to that of Judaism (when it was permitted) to which men must provide every wife with the same exact levels of affection, finances, etc. and following the revelation of that verse, God actually sends down another verse in which he tells men that this is not within their capabilities and it's best to just marry one- so polygamy was ultimately very time specific due to that specific war which left many women widowed and children fatherless.
Absolutely. This is a point I think Islam makes really well for the woman. Marriage is definitely a protection for the woman, and it is very much still seen this way in many parts of the world.
Love this!
It is imperative to note that women and marriage are different in Muslim-majority and Muslim-ruled countries than in the United States. And also imperative to note that there are many versions of The Quran, which say different things, and which are followed by Muslims, most of whom do not compare them all, side-by-side-by-side-etc., just as most Christians don’t bother to study Bibles in comparison to each other, and either think it doesn’t matter what version of The Bible anyone reads, or are bothered when someone points out differences between one translation of The Bible versus someone else’s Bible that is obviously missing a LOT of important text.
I've been to a Muslim wedding once in my life. The bride was (is still) a friend of my wife. And that was the textbook definition of a patriarchal marriage. We were shocked. Not that it's exclusive to Muslims: two years later we went to a Jehovah's Witness wedding and that was pretty phallocratic too.
It’s funny you said the same thing and said, you you’ve received nothing, but praise while she’s bashed. I think it’s, because your culture and religion is view as foreign and therefore needs to be respected whereas hers is viewed as more western and out dated. Jewish people, Christians and Muslim have very similar beliefs when it comes to marriage but only Muslim in the US are allowed to say their perspective without shame, much of the time although not always.
I think the issue is that modern western society views women as being a victim and oppressed when actually women have been celebrated and worshipped for being able to give life in many cultures and have had rights before
I thought I blocked you but you keep showing up
Aww. I’m so sorry. That sucks! She just keeps popping up for me. Lmao.
Wtf! Why does she keep popping up in my feed? I don’t watch her, I don’t know anyone who does. So annoying. And why are all of her videos ads? Who is paying to have this person all over RUclips and why?
I can tell a lot of work went into this video, Abby! I appreciate all of the definitions you presented as well! They were super helpful. I’m not a subscriber, but like everyone else I’ve seen your ads. This is the first video I’ve watched from you. Keep going! It’s nice to listen to perspectives that are not like my own! Insightful even if I’m not sure I 100% agree…
I like ur channel
@@emmahollow8898 thank you ☺️
@@maremarechiqk 😃
Not everyone want to marry
did she say otherwise ?
Thank god we evolved as a society to where women don’t need to be so codependent on a man to seek any source of security or happiness
We haven’t. It’s completely the way the world was created for men and women to need each other. People who deny this are usually not the happier group, statistically.
@@GratiaPrima_ Yeah..I think I’m fine. If I get married it’ll probably be to a girl.
@-pansexualbean- you can think that all you want. Doesn’t make it true that that’s what would make you happiest. There’s a reason men and women coming together to form a family has worked so well for human beings for thousands of years.
@@GratiaPrima_ exactly we as a society formed because of a man and a woman come along for a marriage , nobody can deny that fact
@@GratiaPrima_ what do you mean statistically? I say context definitely matters in this situation
Take a shot every time she mentions feminists
“Relatable” don’t kill me 🤣
I didn't even realize feminists considered marriage oppressive... like what? It's a lifelong commitment between two people.
We don’t
We think it’s oppressive that women feel the need to get married to have a happy life
I respect women who choose to get married and I truly love the ideal of two partners committing to each other
But there are some lifestyles where people need to realize that there are other options
@@lexihall7383 what if I told you…that you’re right, and it really isn’t for everyone and there are religious institutions out there teaching this exact thing since their inception?
@@ntmn8444 @Lexi Hall i wasn't insinuating that marriage was for everyone. There was no hidden meaning in my comment. I stated what marriage actually was. Oppression is not the presence or lack of someone's feelings/emotions.... it's the subjugation of their rights.
That’s not correct. I’m a feminist and I’ve never met a feminist who thinks that.
Also, if a man back then got married, and did not like his wife, he didn't want to have sex with his wife- it's not like he lost or he's at a disadvantage. He would just cheat. Go out to the brothels. It happened all the time and it still happens.
The man (if he was a bad dude) just gained someone to take advantage of in lots of these marriage contracts from back in the day.
this is so tone-deaf.
Ooh ooh, next you should do one about whether producing propaganda is the best way to spend your time
This chick always gets ratioed. More comments and dislikes than the number of likes.
What’s your issue with her, bro? That’s a quality woman right there.
@@handsomecriminal6942 do you the see the number of dislikes right there? Do you think I created all the fake accounts and disliked. Lol. What do you mean by “what’s your problem” 😂
@@handsomecriminal6942 this useless sweetie does nothing but being others down through her content all the time. Why do you think, all of her videos are universally hated, disliked, and mocked.
@@ExMuslimRev11 Just answer my question, son. I did not ask you about the dislikes, I asked you specifically about YOUR POV.
@@ExMuslimRev11 What makes her "useless” and in which way does she bring others down? Dude her husband is blessed having a woman with such high standards for herself in this day and age.
Darwin has a say here... Marriage is basically the principle of sexual selection enshrined in a religious ceremony. chimpanzees are still chimps because they don't practise pair bonding and sexual selection. So there is nothing patriarchal about it, though there most certainly is something human about it. Does this mean that the feminist ideology which promotes promiscuity, childlessness and gracelessness is anti human? Well yes, though it's more specifically targetted than that. Grace is a fundamental aspect of beauty in both sexes and is enshrined in Christianity. Feminism is basically an antireligion to Christianity.
It's an agreement of mutual benefit.
this has to be satire.
NAURRR SOMEONE HELP😭😭 HER VIDEOS ARE COMING BACK AT ME IN THE ADS
There are a few factual issues with your argument, but I specifically wanted to comment that religious marriage did not begin with Judaism and the Torah. Religious marriage was not only a part of ancient Greek society, but part of their foundational myths and their pantheon-- divine marriages which are estimated to have been told of since about 300 years before the Torah was written.
Question for those feminists in the comments who stand with marriage is oppresive: If a lesbian marries another lesbian, is she being oppresive?
I consider myself a traditional feminist and I love your videos do much you are amazing
You must smoke dope or something
@@user-um8ik5mp1x I'm morrmon
@@user-um8ik5mp1x I don't smoke I don't drink sir I am a very religious woman
@@patriofpasta3728 oh, your one of those cultists, ok 👌🏾
I’ve looked through history and find women who are pretty darn powerful. I also find that poorer families the wives were not some pushover. In my marriage/ in my parents marriage/ in most marriages I’ve seen, the wife definitely is equal, and in some areas of family management, have more say.
Heck, Sarah got Abraham to doubt God and have a child with her servant.
The thing with these feminists is they completely remove love from every single viewpoint they have. They act like it doesn’t exist and has never existed.
Feminism is equality you idiot. Nothing about love
@@mindflayer0319 the real idiot is so ignorant and prideful they assume that someone isn’t educated on a subject just because someone outside of their sphere has something to say that isn’t as easily understood by them.
@@mamajo5867 Ik you think you sound intelligent but you rly aren’t. Feminism at its core isn’t just some spectrum. Feminism is equality. If you’re against women being able to be independent of men then you just hate women.
True love can’t exist without equality
That is the modern definition of patriarchal as defined by feminists.
There's at least 20 ads for each video. This is pathetic
As a black man, I recently married a wonderful Jewish woman. We've been watching your videos a bunch! Keep it up Abbey.
It’s weird that you said “as a black man” then proceeded to mention your wife is Jewish. Wouldn’t it be better to say she’s white or whatever. Alternatively you could have said you’re Christian and she’s Jewish. Not saying that you are, it was just an example
@@allegraanegra455 Yeah it’s like saying as a person whose favorite day is Wednesday, I recently married a woman whose favorite food was pizza.
@@allegraanegra455 I'm a Muslim Inshallah 😃 🙏. She's an Israeli Jew... Not white. Jewish women love us black men 😁
Women and men married for the money, alliances and power, just as today, but they were open about it. Love grew later.
Now they marry because looks and money but deny it. It is all so dishonest.
im not trying to be rude but i dont agree with what ur saying
I sincerely thank you for the content you provide. My daughter and I watch together and have discussions about the content. It is imperative that you and other women like you continue your work for the future generations of women. Thank you.
Hate Has No Home Here
@@sanjanaappel4543 where did she say that she’s telling her daughter to tolerate abuse? Go write your feminist oppression fanfiction stories somewhere else. You’re delusional. Get help.
@@sanjanaappel4543 Practice what you preach. Your hate and desire to opress others is obvious. "You can fool some people sometimes, but you can't fool all the people all the time."
@@sanjanaappel4543 Read your own comments. You are here to tear down others, not to lift up. To show hate to women and not tolerance and love. You have made yourself clear.
@@sanjanaappel4543 girl, you made you a bunch of things that no one said. No one is telling women to tolerate abusive what is wrong with you? Just say you hate men. I see you deleted your comment where you made you a bunch of stuff that no one said. Perhaps you realized that you sounded a little more insane than usual? Tell me where you got that conservatives don’t respect themselves. You live in world where you can’t fathom that conservative women can be happy. You probably think cardi b is an empowered woman who should be looked up to 😂
Where did you get that dress/top.... im in love with it!!☺
Reformation - it was a gift!
No because divorce courts favor women.
Absolutely beautifully said, Abby.
Historically, marriage was clearly patriarchal. Duh. But currently in the U.S. at least, it doesnt have to be. It depends on your mindset and if you marry someone who is a functional adult.
I appreciate your voice, Abby! I can hardly believe the trolls that are coming out of the woods here.
I think you’re so sweet and adorable but I’m afraid you’d hate me or think less of me because I’m not married. Do you personally think I’m a bad person because I think girls should be free to choose their path? Because I believe that God wants me to do things that make me happy, as long as I’m not hurting anyone. Am I wrong for thinking this way?
Throughout history, marriage has proven to be the best social framework not just for man, but also for women; it provided them with a responsible and loving husband who also happened to be an economic provider. It is understandable that feminists hate "patriarchy" since most feminists are not capable of finding a good husband to enter into a marriage with.
Awesome video, Abby!
Please get off my page I’m a gay trans atheist leftist
NO I THOUGHT I WAS FREE OF U BUT UR BACK IN RECOMMENDATIONS PLEASE LEAVE I JUST WANT TO WACTH MINECRAFT
After 5 min into the vid she complains about how shows show modern feminist thought in classic and early modern era women, that most of them women would not think of careers and didn’t care for freedom that much, but earlier u Just said marriage isn’t patriarchal, but don’t patriarchal marriages cause women to be restricted?????! Now you are jus contradicting herself
Why do I always get ads for this lady
Modern "practicing" Jew straight up pretends the Torah doesn't exist. I feel like I should be more shocked.
She's admitted she is not fully practicing right now. What is the tenuch? I tried googling but nothing is coming up
@@halfwaytohomestead6066 My mistake, I meant the Torah. The Tanakh (thank you Aubrey) is the whole Old Testament, whereas the Torah is the first 5 books, Which contains the law and world history before the time of the judges of Israel.
Do your videos really have a purpose?
Some marriages be patriarchal and some cant, depends on your partner.
source: trust me sis
Excellent job explaining the topic and stating your opinion.👍🏽🌿💗🦋 I believe two becoming one is a beautiful thing.
Maybe if you weren’t so angry in the whole video…
We must have viewed entirely different videos
The only angry person I found here is you
@@angeldream1 oh you are so mad it's cute.
This is great!
I believe the great offense and upset is due to content of Character which “poisoned the apple barrel” so to speak regarding marriages. Some famous men were horrible to their wives. And many of us have seen that within our own families where they have been abusive, selfish, dangerous, and nasty. They definitely were not protective, selfless, wise, and good/ prudent men.
Stop paying for ads
We gotta number one victory royale yeah Fortnite we bout’ to get down (get down) 10 kills on the board right now just wiped Tomato Town, my friend just got downed I revived him now we’re heading south bound now we’re in the pleasant park streets look at the map go to the marked sheet
Take me to your Xbox to play Fortnite today we can go to Moisty Miers but not to loot lake is really love to, Chug jug with you, we can be pro Fortnite gamers…
This was completely off my memory
As an artist I can say You're one really beautyfull women🦋🦋
Oh thank god the dislike ratio is higher
What an interesting video! Thanks Abby
I think it’s a bit different for men. I see it like this. Using your recipe analogy: if you watched someone baking a cake and they dropped 2 full sticks of butter in the mix, would you let them continue to cook the cake or would you immediately stop and rectify that situation before you continued baking said cake? That’s what we are doing to men we encourage to actively seek a wife without first telling them what makes a good wife and how to be a husband. We are expecting men to bake the cake without even telling them if there’s a recipe, let alone what it is.
We need to stop and take a real serious look at the marital contract and how it applies to today and either go back to what it’s intended design was or get rid of it altogether as it relates to government and let the church, whatever church that may be, handle it.
That being said, this was cool to watch. Very well presented and well written.
I'd love to see a video of tips on how to dress modestly when very curvy♡
I would like to see that as well.
@@angeldream1 Here is how: minding your own business and letting people ask the questions they want.
@@angeldream1 no, you're not raising anyone up when you're clearly missing the point of their comment, keep your ideas to yourself and stop playing victim
We need an in depth video of Abby's curves
@@sparrowwatch6843 She didn’t play the victim once. Shut up.
I loved this video! So interesting and filled with knowledge that’s just hidden away and not talked about. I appreciate all the work you put into researching this topic!