I’m 75;and came of age in the late 60’s. I read Betty Friedan and Gloria Steinem and they worked for women to have equal opportunities and pushed for them to have equal partnerships in marriage. My ex-husband helped me to establish credit in my own name as this was not always easy. Now it’s like the right wants us to go backwards to the 50’s.
It's not even the real 50s they want to degrade us to, they're chasing the hyper-PC, ultra-sanitized, literal-censor approved facade of 1950s fake TV family
People like Lauren Southern made their whole career off wanting the Trad wife life, and then ran away from it as soon as they got in and saw what it was really like
Most women who are conservative talking heads report problems with sexism and misogyny from their peers at work but can’t figure out the math on that one
So I have been a house wife because it made financial sense for me to stay home and raise my kids while they are little, it’s harder than any paid job I ever had. What these girls are being conned with is the idea of playing house. It’s not all decorating and dinner parties. This trad wife trend is scary. Also it’s giving housewives a bad name.
The tradwife lifestyle currently is fantasy and fetish, none of which showcase the physical and emptional tutmoil of every little detail of maintaining a household and managing the stress of living. You are the actual role model, not those grifters.
I raised children and worked part-time simultaneously. I had to be full-time in both arenas. Was a single mom. Priority was my children. Keeping a job was hard but I couldn't survive otherwise and I wouldn't be able to retire. I would be fired from age and infirmity and homeless by now.
I feel like your views are narrow minded and put women in boxes with labels. I’m 67 and still work full time, but I took several years away from the work force to raise my kids. My husband traveled for work and was gone 5 days out of the week for 7 years. I didn’t want them to be stuck in child care and then me be too exhausted to enjoy those precious evening hours. I enjoyed those years with them and being involved with school activities. When they grew older and I was ready I resumed my career. I wouldn’t trade those years with them for the world. And I had 2 children, not 10! Be careful and don’t limit women the way the far right does!
@@cindychurch335 that's great that you were able to accomplish all those responsibilities and have things work out for the best. I know it wasn't easy or perfect but it was a success. I have the idea that's not the norm for women now. Women are not Cinderella or Beauty like in Disney where we marry a prince who takes care of us and our families the rest of our lives in high style. Even if the economy supported it, I can't see most men wanting to go along with that dreamboat. Half marriages end in divorce and many are out for themselves, cheat, and just don't care. Unfortunately it seems the reality.
Women: are you lonely? Try a traditional role. You’ll be home alone 12 hrs a day but after that you’ll have company while serving him the rest the day.
You'll be home 24 hours a day, actually, except for alloted shopping. 12 of those hours will be spent in the kitchen. The other 12 will be spent raising the brood and massaging your kings feet.
I almost got sucked in because I was exhausted with work and no longer wanted to work. Being a trad wife sounded like a way out. But the flip side is having a man control your finances thus controlling your life. That doesn’t solve your problems.
This is such an important aspect that doesn't get enough discussion. Being a traditional housewife means not being alienated from the fruits of your labor. All of your work directly benefits you and your loved ones, making your family's life richer in what you value, which is a lot more appealing than making your employer richer and more powerful with every day you labor in a job.
@@wyleecoyotee4252 Sure, you might get richer, but if you're a mom then chances are you're barely breaking even between working full-time and paying for full-time child care. There's a tendency on the left to only focus on how tradwives can be exploited by their husbands and left with nothing, but let's be real, you're also going to be exploited and left with nothing in most jobs! I just think leftist commentary is really failing to acknowledge these aspects and how worker's rights are women's rights. I also never see it acknowledged that even if your marriage is rock solid, there is still the real risk of the sole bread-winner becoming disabled, being diagnosed with a serious illness, or dying, which can put the family into debt, aka LESS THAN ZERO and no way out if the trad wife has no education or work history when things get bad.
You can be a stay at home parent without being in a psycho cult. Some people just like taking an active role in raising their children. I'd love to home school my kid if i could afford it
@@Laurasaurus5 Unless a traditional wife has financial assets in her own name, it's a bad idea. Life isn't predictable anything could happen to him, he could leave, get sick or die, then what.
This won't last long because as soon as the trad wives reach the old age of 30-35 they'll be ditched for the cute 19-21 year old some former trad wives are already talking about being dumped for the younger ladies.
There is Canadian RUclipsr who had this happen and now posts about it and how being a young trader with no work history or college degree has set her up for failure as a newly single mom. If she didn’t have RUclips, she’d have nothing. For every RUclips celeb, there are thousands with no backup.
@@Danielle-zq7kbthe RUclips celebs also are No tradwives But tradwife-performers who are actually businesswomen, so they promote something they are Not.
I remember that era back in the day. I was an employment interviewer for a couple of companies that hired a lot of clerk typists, file clerks, etc. entry level stuff. I had a lot of no longer young women apply who were dumped by their husbands because they’d found a new model. I remember one very pretty forty-something woman whose ex husband was a pilot for United and she had lived a very upscale life until he left her for a young stewardess. Of course, would she really be happy working for us at minimum wage? No, who would? Truth is, though, I preferred to hire new high school graduates so we didn’t have to mess with absences due to child care problems and were a better blend, looked better and were happier… it sounds terrible, I know, but it worked for the companies to have a younger crew, turnover was no problem because applicants were a dime a dozen back then; no shortage., and HR recruiters are just glorified pimps anyway.
@@sandarahcatmom9897Jeez, I really hope someone sued your company for discrimination and won. Or was that before those kinds of protections? This is the kind of thing these people want to send us back to.
@@Danielle-zq7kb I used to help single parents and homemakers gain a career and you can imagine how many Conservative women, once on the outs (often with a lawyer husband--I later became an attorney) realised just how tiny that safety net was--the one they complained about as serving the non-deserving--and how they didn't qualify because their ex-husbands were providing so very little they still had too much money to qualify. It's always the way. These women cling to youth to keep their privilege, crap on other women, and then are in for a shock if their husbands get the upper hand in the divorce that he brings about. No wonder women are leaving in record numbers once they can support themselves.
If conservatives want a trad lifestyle then why constantly attack things that HELP people have those lifestyles? Worker protections, lower working hours with no loss of pay, living wages, no fault divorce, right to abortion (which is family planning) are all things that benefit people who want that life AND for those who don’t
All those things forget one KEY aspect of the traditional (1950s American) lifestyle.... The man must be in control of all things. Without a literal patriarchy, it's not a traditional (1950s American) lifestyle.
@@PyrrhicPaxactually the woman was in charge of the home expenses. Men made the money and gave the money to their wives to balance their checkbooks and budget for the house. We also had a lot more social programs and taxing of wealth back then too but those specific 1950’s values tend to get overlooked by conservatives, wonder why 🤔
@alexj-t2331 In some households sure. In many more women had no control over the money or their husband had the right to override any monetary decision she made whenever he felt like it
@@alexj-t2331 turning someone into your accountant doesn't mean they have authority over your money. The accountant must still defer to the accountee. The woman may have been ALLOWED to MANAGE home expenses but she wasn't in charge of them. It was common for wives to be physically disciplined for frivolous spending of their husbands earnings.
@@tigerlilly9038 right, in Texas they are holding girls down while they attempt to impregnate them. You might not like their stances but exaggerating doesn't do anything but paint you as crazy
Every aspect of Trad wife and Trad girlfriend is control. Please teach you daughters to be strong, smart, confident self-reliant adults. Politics and finances matter!
And mostly Self Reliant !! I am 70 and was raised with brothers and sisters. My mother was a traditional homemaker - and awesome at it - because my parents could afford to do that. And as a female youngest child I was still raised to be strong and confident and self reliant. That worked out well in that I married and had several children and intended to be a homemaker. Life did not turn out that way and I was able to raise my family alone ❤
Most of us, (women), grow so much between the ages of 20 and 40. Having strict gender roles and a partner who has no interest in evolving with you is a system that will, inevitably, fail.
They think trad wives will give us back those things, because women in the workplace lined up historically with the beginning of wage stagnation. But, it also lined up with the end of unions...driven by bigots refusing to be in a union with poc and women. I'm hopeful the progressive all-inclusive unionization movement today will give us back those things, if it's allowed to grow and flourish over the next decade.
No deal there either. Fine for the guys, but I'm not going back. I have my own retirement to think about same as you. I am not livestock, whatever inflation is doing. .
But if these influencers are supposed to be "Tradwives" then why are they working at all even on social media? That is taking time away from their family, right?
Because their misogynistic partners know cute women doing anything in a ditzy way, with a lil cleavage, will draw in pervs who will donate when asked or flirted with a bit. It's why most OnlyFans girls learn 4Chan lingo, that's the customers who are desperate enough to watch a live stream 24/7 and donate when asked. (Don't attack the messenger, I've spent most nights since 2016 in Trumpy bars learning about them and flipping who I could away from MAGA.)
Weird how alt right don't promote being a stay at home dad, but instead push women to do it. How you can tell its just sexism at play instead of just family values.
@@alexj-t2331, by, “proper go up pace,” I presume that you mean, “proper grow-up pace,” right? Not all people should be part of a nuclear family, and not all women “belong in the kitchen.” I don’t want to have the responsibility of a “traditional” man, if it means upholding cruel views.
@@GlennKurusuline go up as in the companies that these breadwinners work for seeing them as another cog in the machine, an expendable resource, in other words they must constantly make more profit for their bosses and shareholders and be alienated from the true value of their work and at the expense of their rights type of line go up
@@alexj-t2331 it's more basic than that. Can't have the women interact with men who might make their husband's look like little boys. I have a thing for married MAGA women who are unhappy, and fyi they're all unhappy.
@@alexj-t2331 no, they can't have their wives possibly meet a better man and regret her current hubby who doesn't try. If they don't leave the house, where would they meet the other guy?
As a guy I love making things and doing stuff like taking 5 hour to make gum. I’m seen as a “renaissance” man for this. It is crazy to me that people don’t see the weird double standard where I’m eclectic and cool for spending time doing that versus women like this are told yeah that’s what you women do. The extreme side being trad wives. This is why feminism is just human rights I get irritated the cookies I make for my kids are always credited to my wife . But also in reverse the shaming my wife’s got when at work I mentioned doing g my laundry and they were so angry she didn’t do it for me. Ugh I give up hopefully that makes sense in not making sense haha
Your co-workers and wider society are having such visceral reactions to you doing your family laundry because they're reading all these deeper messages into it that they don't like. For you and your wife you're just living life, doing the household tasks that you genuinely enjoy and are strong at. For you that's baking & stuff. THEY are seeing: why doesn't she play her role like she's supposed to? Why doesn't she know her place? Does she ... *control* you? You know you're meant to control *her* right? Why are you even doing demeaning womens work? You know that damages your masculinity right? That may sound harsh but after years of tip-toeing gently and giving such people the benefit of the doubt; when you dig deep that's truly what is at the core of their disastisfaction. They may not even realise it themselves in such clear terms, but probe them further with the right questioning and that's the answer you'll arrive at.
It sounds like the people around you/your wife, are locked into very specific ideas of what men do vs what women do. In truth, I'd probably assume that your wife baked the cookies too; but simply because I've not seen many guys baking! (Except on TV of course, where male cooks are more the norm.) In religious mindsets, it's called 'complementarianism'. The idea that men and women don't do the same things, but that their roles 'complement' each other; that the man is head of household and have jobs, and women take care of the house and raise the kids. Which is a very handy way of not only controlling people psychologically as to what is and isn't 'proper' for their gender role, but also keeps people trapped in a defined box without the option to explore doing things they might like or be interested in, and keeping them from becoming more authentic, rounded people.
I recommend that any women who are considering the tradwife lifestyle read The Feminine Mystique by Betty Friedan. This book came out in 1963 and exposed the unhappiness of traditional housewives. Modern women who want to be stay at home moms need to know what they are getting into before they do.
ime, the trick is to have a partner and not a cult boss... open honesty and the pulling of one's own weight around the house can alleviate some of the overwhelming stressors.
I can't imagine that this trend would last longer than a single generation. Once women remember that trad wife usually means being completely controlled and giving up everything to 'serve' a man, who in no way is guaranteed to be either kind, or competent to make good decisions about their own lives, let alone yours as well.But that won't stop them, because that's how it works.
It's called marriage. You obey your husband because it's worth it to you to make him happy. It makes sense in other ways, but, you just have to feel them out. If you can't do that, you don't want a marriage, you want a legally binding contract to take advantage of a man, which is a sorry excuse for the concept of marriage. Men kind of don't want to be miserable. Unless, of course, you missed the large numbers of men who refuse to date or marry, because they won't get a woman's submission, which basically crack to them.
Non of this Trad wife stuff is traditional. I remember the marriages of people born in the early 1900’s, and they wouldn’t know what on earth people are talking about. People on here are saying it gives men “complete financial control” and men can “do whatever” with a woman’s life. They’re counting any money he earns as his money alone, and that’s not legally how marriage worked. It was the abusive ones that gave scraps for housekeeping money. I’ve even heard on another channel a “husband” directly tell his wife to shut up, which is shocking. I think these little boys the Trad wives are married to are followers of Andrew Tate, and are not mature enough to be married yet as they’re making up fairy tales about traditional marriages that can’t stand up to the reality of life in joint harness raising children.
Julia Ebner covered tradwives in her book Going Dark. A bit missed out in this discussion is their 'counselling' practices where 'counsellors' gaslight women by insisting they are doing something wrong. It doesn't matter if their husband is angry , abusive, violent, whatever , it is always the woman's 'fault'. Julia Ebner, despite being under cover and not a tradwife had to leave the channel as she found it so coercive she was beginning to doubt herself. Beware, these are seriously nasty people.
Well Julia Ebner's experience on being 'conselled' within tradwives' was women policing women on the woman always being wrong. The coercion was powerful enough to force her to step away from her undercover investigation in to tradwives. When women coerce each other into accepting abuse it becomes an extremely regressive and toxic environment.
That is so horrible. Is it like with cults that they are no legal steps to do since you kind of agreed to be abused at the beginning? We need to find laws against that. That is truly lifedestroying
Don't forget the fact that she is actually a "boss babe". She does her own hiring and her workers come out against her when she fires them. Apparently she's really hard to work with and she underpays her workers and hires mostly black people while having guests like nick fuentes on People also forget that even if they are married and have kids these are not your typical "trad wives" they run whole business and produce, hire their staff and these channels make millions of dollars. they fit the modern day stereotype of the feminist boss babe more any of us do.
Isn’t this always the case? All these conservative women telling women to be more traditional… I want to scream “you’re not! Feminism has helped YOU out!” And these trad wives I’ve seen online? All in early 20s, and most NOKids! lol. And making biscuits from scratch… I mean, come on. I know that is very for the camera, but even if you do stay home (there are and always have been stay at home moms- totally valid), we have modern appliances for a reason. I KNOW there are *way* more *us* vs *them* but in the USA, with the red states getting religion into schools, parents taking kids out of public schools to go to religious private schools, etc… it is a little freaky. It’s like women- wake up! Do not fall for this! Ever! Yes, life is hard- it was way harder before feminism. Don’t let this fool you. But the Right has done such a good job talking to men. 🤷♀️.
@@MarkMark-xj9dy biscuits from scratch doesn't mean you don't use modern appliances 🙄😂 you're using the term "from scratch" incorrectly. It has to do with the ingredients
BTW, there is a difference between being a home maker/housewife and being a TRAD wife. they are two distinct things with some overlap. this guest is not talking about being a housewife only. there's nothing wrong with raising your own kid and baking bread from scratch! lmao
False. Ask any capitalist, and they will tell you it's immoral for an able body woman to not have her labor exploited by a corporation. Low birth rates mean that women and undocumented people need to work to make sure that we keep up endless production because capitalism requires it.
@@icebergrose8955 That's certainly a risk, but it's by no means a certainly. Relationships that are built on mutual trust and respect survive, ones that aren't, don't. Who's working and who's staying home does not have much to do with that.
If we look historically: the working class woman has always worked hard and long days. When the "tradwife" first became fashionable in the 17th century it is when the meddle class of merchants start to make some real money. Having a wife at home that didn't work started become a status symbol of success. This is the origin of the "tradwife". Nothing more than what a Mercedes SL 500 is today.
Trad wife is nothing more that a last ditch effort of late stage capitalism. Flaunting a single income home living in comfort while many cannot make it in multiple incomes. Very much pushed by the religion- the first MLM corporation.
For real. Like it was genuinely all over for the christian cults when durring desegragation times they decided they were more loyal to white supremacy than they were to their deity. The white flight to try and flee people of color moving into the neighborhoods really was the nail in the coffin. Because really, racisim is primarily a tool used by the wealthy and powerful as a union busting and voter suppression tactic. So of course once the billionaires found out how convenient these racist stooges could be, they were never going to let them go again. And billionaires have more than enough resources from their functionally bottomless pockets to spend on propaganda to lead their sheep and feed into any bigotries they have that don't have to do with a prejudice against the wealthy. Exploiting their blind faith to turn these people into a constant wrench in the gears of progress and accountability.
Same as in the1950s.I came from a blue collar family. We struggled. We sometimes ate the food necessities given by the government, butter, flour, sugar, cheese. We ate only popcorn or spam, just a short period of time. My mom would wear slacks, comfy shoes as she did daily chores, not a dress ,stockings and heels like Donna Reed or mrs. Brady. There were more people who couldn't live the American dream than could.
If you think of old-fashioned rural American life, BOTH Parents "stayed home", didn't they? Where's the push for "tradhusbands"? Isnt working for another man unmanly to them?
When you sit back you realise it’s just some kind of weird modern adult entertainment trad wife cosplay. Instead of saying their blonde and wearing skimpy clothes, it’s the Sunday best and a roast in the oven, same angle different hat.
@@loorthedarkelf8353 Men right? You're going to blame this on men? Women have no agency whatsoever, huh? If thats true, maybe TradWife is the way to go.
@@dannyb2783i can feel the bitterness oozing from this comment. Who hurt you? Yes, traditionally the enforcers of traditional lifestyles have been wealthy men in positions of power, i mean look at who is encouraging "going back to core family values", rich older men in suits with beer guts.
I have a conservative, Bible thumping cousin who told me how he believes women need to obey their husband. His current wife is like 10 years older than him. I have no idea how she bought into that situation.
*Desperation, perhaps? Some men and women alike are so desperate for someone of the opposite sex in their lives that they'll just settle for whatever. You get what you settle for.*
look no further than Betty Broderick. She did everything for husband, raise their children until the day the husband traded her in for a younger woman. It drove her insane to the point of murder
I just dont understand why men are lining up for this. As a man, i dont want to be a workhorse for anyone. I want a balanced life, a life that i am at peace with. The capitalistic form of dating and relationships and other contexts is in direct confrontation to the man and the value of "being". So when people tell men "to just be" they don't know how to do that and how to be at peace within themselves. Theres always something else to chase or conqure or discipline yourself. Its very destructive way to live that preaches you have to be miserable in order to provide for your family or just survive on very little which the data is showing is becoming increasingly harder to do. More men need to become against this stuff.
They think they want to be Don Draper, with the glam and beautiful SAHM, the home and kids. They leave out the part where Betty the wife was miserable and bored, and where Don medicated his own misery with alcohol, cigarettes and sleeping with women who did not look or feel as miserable as Betty. Or the fact that Don was a workaholic who avoided being home. They also leave out the part where Joan was so desperate to be a wife and SAHM that she marries her rapist, and realizes that she loves her work. Even Mad Men was showing the reality of trad families back then.
That’s fine at the beginning of a long-term relationship. But one of the reasons why the marriage vows include in sickness and health, rich and poor, is that often each partner in the relationship will become more needy or less capable and the other might have to become a full-time carer or step in to become the main breadwinner.
@@AtheistEvebut you’re still not trapping someone into a marriage out of necessity. He’s saying he would much rather have someone there in their own volition. When someone is there on their own volition, they are there through sickness and health because they WANT to be there. Not because they HAVE to be.
@@Sarah-re7cg Want and need are much more interchangeable within married relationships. Some people actually want to be needed or need to be wanted. There’s a lot more ebb and flow over the years. And we should understand that if we take a vow to accept that contract. Of course, if the OP simply wants to move from one “want” relationship to another as soon as the person becomes reliant or has needs, that’s fine for them. Might become a bit superficial and, who’s to say that the OP might not have some needs of their own.
My mom married in 1978 because she wanted this life And she had it - didn’t have to work and had me one year later My father was very abusive, cheated on her, and used her as an emotional punching bag She told me she can’t leave him because she’s bound to him financially Now he’s 70 and they rely on his pension plan He struts his stuff all over the beach and calls all his widowed neighbors his “girlfriends” ~~ I decided at a young age I did NOT want this for myself Got myself educated, got my masters and learned a second language Now I work for the government When I’m in my 60s I’m planning to retire and live off my own pension plan I’ll strut my stuff on the beach and get a boyfriend lol I’m kidding about the last two points But hey - why not??
I grew up feeling like marriage was a trap and I didn’t want to be trapped. I got an education and just never felt the need to be married. I chose not to have children but raised children that came with longer term relationships. My profession also had me working with many children as well as adults - that pulled some mothering parts of me. I do not regret my choices. I don’t feel trapped. 😂
This phenomenon reminds me of the women who fall in love with and marry people in prison for life. A lot of people are attracted to psychopathy like conservatism or a serial killer.
Not a bad comparison. Personally I find it interesting we don't talk about how our society is trying to create sociopaths to be business leaders, but a lot of people can't be that cold so they break in the middle with psychopaths who lose control easier like a child throwing a tantrum. I read a study a decade or so ago that mentions a vast majority of corporate boards would be diagnosed as sociopathic(whatever the valid diagnosis is, I'm not in the field). They're cold, calculated, dismissive, goal focused, and power hungry aka CEOs for any Fortune 500 company. We're so capitalistic that we bred and taught our kids to be little monsters for money, and they learned if they're rich enough they don't have to see poverty again because they'll never go to those parts of town.
Well quite. At root, the Far Right is about propping up neoliberalism ...... which is the reason both parents are working all the hours God sends just to survive.
Yeah, this idea mainly serves to legitimize dudes with money abusing women. And indirectly promotes mysoginistic ideas for the average couple. It's similar to how some working people see themselves as temporarily embarrased millionares and justify the exploitative practices of some companies
@@fighttheevilrobots3417 of course you exist, it's just that it's not very common. And nothing wrong with being a stay at home mom or dad either, it's the idealization and reasoning conservatives use that's wrong
@@nekoiza4190 I’ve read online of women whose husbands make $50k say they make it work which is nuts to me because they also have several children. Imo, this lifestyle is so risky that it’s not worth it unless the man makes a lot of money and he puts you on assets, his retirement plan, and gives you a legitimate allowance that is for your personal use away from paying bills.
I recently left corporate America to be a stay at home mom with my two kids (2 and 5). I totally fit the description of what you said a tradwife is, except that I'm extremely liberal. I was born and raised in West LA, and I'm a lifetime Democrat and atheist. I used to be a Product Management Director at a major corporation. It nearly killed me to raise my two kids while working 9-10 hours a day at my high stress corporate job. That was like having two jobs, and working 16 hours a day every day. I gained weight, my cholesterol went up and I was exhausted all the time. Then I got laid off in January and have decided to just stay home with the kids. My life is 1000x better. My cholesterol went down 50 points. My hair started growing back. I feel like I de-aged 10 years. I lived the feminist girl boss mommy dream and it was frankly awful. I just want to have this time with my children. Something is wrong when only the top 1% of income earners can make the choice I did. I don't think it's fair to vilify all stay at home moms who just want to focus on creating domestic value. That should be a legitimate choice for women without all the stigma attached to it.
You are a SAHM. Not a trad-wife. Trad-wife is a lifestyle that is rooted in religion and conservatism. You cannot be liberal and be a trad-wife, but you can be a SAHM. The reason why trad-wives have stigma is because women are often abandoned by their husbands for someone younger , and they and their kids are left homeless and poor. The stigma exists for a reasons.
I was a big law firm attorney and made your same choice after my 2nd child was born. I recognize the privilege it is to be a SAHM. My spouse and I made sacrifices to make it happen, but I would NEVER judge another couple's choice - either to work or not. It's none of my business, and no one knows another's financial/emotional burdens.
I am an outspoken feminist liberal who is politically active and not religious, and I am not working while I care for kid and elderly father… and I like baking bread, knitting, sewing, etc. I’m not doing it to influence anybody or appeal to men… these women give women a bad name. Ugh. Don’t ruin my hobbies!
It's one thing for a woman to stay home to raise children and practice home arts at her choice, but it's tragic for teen girls to be raised with no other prospects. In the '60s many teen girls were discouraged from careers of their choice or were led to believe they had less to offer. Making them feel they must be submissive is a crime.
I didn’t work for a couple of years. Some of that was maternity leave then I got a redundancy so I had extra $$ to stay home longer. I enjoyed that time with my children as I had a baby and my other daughter was starting school. I had company of other mothers and was able to be involved in my daughters first year of school. In saying that there is no way I could keep being a SAHM. As my youngest was ready for day care I was ready to get back to work. Not just for contributing to household finances but also my own mental health. Lucky I keep working as my husband ended up with a gambling addict and we split when my youngest was 11. I was able to refinance the house a start again.
Because Pearl just hates women. That’s what keeps her on the outskirts because even red pill men want women, they just want to demean them. And the trad/christian arm of the movement pretends that oppressing women is for their own good. So Pearl clashes with the whole trad side. And the guys like to hear her bash women but at the end of the day they still want women so Pearl is left out.
I worked with plenty of ex-trad wives, who had been cheated on by their trad husbands, who left them for their trad girlfriends, thus abandoning their trad families. It wasn’t pretty watching these totally unprepared women try to support their children. They were bitter, yet didn’t fault the trad background they’d come from.
What I find particularly pernicious is that trad-wife influencers _don't_ actually live that life. Or if they _really_ do, they do so by choice. Which is unlike how countless women are forced into subservient roles in the real world.
"For the history of the 20th Century, you can take the word Fascism and replace it with Catholic Right Wing and you don't have to change a thing." - Christopher Hitchens (On Fascism and Religion)
Coming from a ultra right religious home, i know my mother adopted these right wing ideas because she needed to show that she was such a saint, like we say in Colombia, show that "she doesn't brake a plate".They have done some bad stuff or they are currentlty doing something they can be punished for so they go all the way in judgment and pointing fingers. My mother was so lazy, she didn't want to work or even clean the house, she was the worst mother, but she needed to have and have babies so she could always be this eternal lady who suffers and needed help.
Back in the late 70s early 80s when I was a young married woman I had what I learned would be the only child I would ever be able to conceive. I put all my energy and focus on the baby and my husband, believing I'd be a SAHM after his birth. He was premature and had tons of issues, nearly dying several times in his first year, including his first night. My husband made plenty of money to support us without a second income and I was perfectly happy and content taking care of the baby and the house and my marriage. Unfortunately my husband insisted I go back to work when the sickly baby was only 6 weeks old. My job at the time wasn't even a career, I was a cashier in a supermarket. He literally forced me to go back to work which in turn drove me to pursuing a better education and career and ultimately we were divorced. Later I'd hear the far right blaming "women's lib" for ruining society. If he hadn't forced me to work a menial job I wouldn't have obtained a graduate degree and raised my son alone. Now he's old and bitter and still blaming me.
Please do an episode on how the private school voucher system in America is leaching public funds from public schools. How are public schools funded? What makes one public school more successful than another? How has public school quality been impacted by the private school vouchers being used to send normally abled children to religious private schools? Wasn't the voucher system meant to fund tuition for kids with special needs and children who live in areas without public schools?
I was thinking about the trad wife or traditional wife and how and why that terminology came about. The "traditional" wife came about because women had no rights. Women could not vote. Women could not own a business. Women were treated as third class citizens. Women had no say in politics. Women were told to shut up and listen. Women could not hold a conversation around a dinner table. Women were not allowed to have a bank account. Women could not own a home. In order for women to do anything out of the ordinary they had to get written permission from their husbands. The only place that women were allowed to be is in a house, in a kitchen, raising babies. That's all they were good for. So all these descriptions I have made here describe the "traditional woman". This term is dishonest. Whoever assigned the description of a women as a traditional woman is simply covering up the fact that they had no rights and someone was trying to make themselves feel good about how they treated women in the past. Try any of this stuff nowadays with a woman and as the saying goes... F.A.A.F.O.
This topic is culturally facinating to me. See, I became a military spouse in 2011, and the Tradwife culture is so strong It Is Assumed that is the life you will live. Hell, in 2011 the Family Readiness Group still called itself The Wives' Club. Every event the FRG sponsored assumed - You are a woman - You have children - You are desperate for human contact unburdened by your children Which, granted, I'm sure is great for the moms in the group-- BUT THAT DOESN'T COVER EVERYONE AND ALIENATES THOSE WITHOUT KIDS WHO ARE ALSO DESPERATE FOR COMMUNITY. If you're married to a career service member, you will move every 3 years or only see your spouse when they take leave. Most young folk choose the move, cutting them off from friends and family and making the FRG their only surefire social space where some basic respect for their existance will be maintained. I am not a woman. I was born with a vulva, I did grow breasts, but when people engage me As A Woman the assumptions they make about me Are Wrong, and I get to spend that conversation correcting those assumptions and tanking personal attacks in the process. "Where are your kids?" Is the first question I get asked in these spaces. Not "Do you have kids?" But "Where are they?" When I was young and nieve I told them the same thing I told my parents: "I have no interest in birthing or rearing children, and the sounds young children make are actively distressing to me to the point of both physical and psychological pain. Raising a child Would Be Torture For Me." Of course, like my parents, they never let me finish speaking. They interrupt me at I Have No Interest and try to persuade me. I have a low tolorance for persuasion when the person attempting it has failed to hear me. Much like my school career, my time with the FRG is tense and full of interpersonal moments that made it clear I would not be welcome unless I conformed to expectations. So I withdrew. Seeing the things that so many tried and failed to force upon me spilling over into the main stream is equal parts distressing and validating.
My mom went to one FRG meeting when I was deployed (Guard). She said "They are a bunch of catastrophisers! They'd sit around and think of all the ways you were going to be killed.". She didn't participate after that.
Pearl, who grew up in a 10 bedroom house with a Daddy who supported her until she decided making money eroding women's rights (she says nothing about her Mom) is Way Over the Hill as 15 year olds are what men really want, according to Pearl.
How are these women being tradwives if they spend their time doing programs on the internet. Running a business from home is still being in business. They are spending a lot of their time not being a tradwife. It is a misnomer. Just because you are at working at home doesn't mean you are traditional. The trend is often moving towards working at home overall for the workforce. How can women put themselves down like this.
Traditionalist ideas have some pie-in-the-sky idea that if they stay home like June Cleaver did then husbands would automatically be able to get that high paying job, pay all the bills, fund vacations, and come home on schedule to take over the housekeeping and child rearing so wife could go out for a much needed break. No divorce because he is so concerned about wife's and children's well-being. Sure.
Men often don’t know and don’t care about cost of living. They think that $20 should cover two weeks of steak dinners for family of four, and after two weeks he will ask for change. You should’ve left something, right?
@@vg7985Huh? What are you even talking about, myself and every man I know are acutely aware of the cost of groceries, rent/mortgage etc. - it sounds like you’re talking about 14 year old boys, not men.
@@yellowblanka6058 just personal experience. Father gives his daughter $2 to go to movies and “ get popcorn too”. Father pays $50/ month child support and complains how he pays for his wife’s and kids lavish lifestyle. Husband demands party for 20 people and gives $40. Yeah, it’s real.
Any company that uses the word PATRIOT or LIBERTY or FREEDOM is a company I try to avoid. For example: Patriot Gold? No Thanks. Patriot flag company? At least that makes sense.
Agreed. I just saw a neighbor of one of my clients hire "patriot contracting". Red white and blue wrap on the truck. No visible maga gear, but still, no thanks. I don't trust anyone who needs to project their supposed love for country that much.
I recently watched a video about the trad wife movement and there was a particular video of a woman making ice cream for her husband being analysed. This was my first experience of viewing these videos, even though I have actually heard about them before, and I was surprised how overtly sexualised she was being. She spoke in a hushed, breathy tone, her hand movements were slow and alluring, the video kept showing her looking wistfully at what she was doing … she was clearly doing it all on purpose. I guessed pretty quickly that she was playing to the men who watch her videos. How does that fit exactly with a “traditional” wife ethos??
The breathy voice is known as the “fundy baby” voice, and all of these read-wives are basically making pron for conservatives. Their comment sections are full of men complaining that their wives don’t do stuff like this, praising the lady for catering to her man like a woman should, etc. When in reality the lady is a content creator who makes similar or more than her husband, and once the camera is off she isn’t catering anything. She has a nanny, maid, etc. who work for her.
The breathy voice is known as the “fundy baby” voice, and all of these read-wives are basically making pron for conservatives. Their comment sections are full of men complaining that their wives don’t do stuff like this, praising the lady for catering to her man like a woman should, etc. When in reality the lady is a content creator who makes similar or more than her husband, and once the camera is off she isn’t catering anything. She has a nanny, maid, etc. who work for her.
The breathy voice is known as the “fundy baby” voice, and all of these read-wives are basically making pron for conservatives. Their comment sections are full of men complaining that their wives don’t do stuff like this, praising the lady for catering to her man like a woman should, etc. When in reality the lady is a content creator who makes similar or more than her husband, and once the camera is off she isn’t catering anything. She has a nanny, maid, etc. who work for her.
This always being about choice and consent, when there is a way out things rarely get too bad. This is why even if someone wants to be a housewife, she should have a backup plan so if the situation gets bad she can leave and still have a decent life. Even good partners can get sick or die. The worst part is that extends to the rest of life, such as homelessness being using as a threat to keeep people in horrible jobs.
Year 10: My body is unacceptable to him from having so many kids. Year 15: after he left me for a younger model, I'm in dire poverty with no place to live.
I am a feminist but was a stay-at-home mom in the 90s. There was an emphasis on making things from scratch and glorifying family activities. It was not as extreme as tradwifery and it did not demonize other options.
Nearly every tradwife narrative ends the same way: “…And then I discovered I wasn’t young and beautiful anymore, and my husband strayed (or died), and he had hidden (or spent) all the money, and I have no job or life skills except baking yeast bread…” Surprise! Nevertheless, I AM curious to know how the successful tradwife RUclipsr deals with having an income many times higher than her husband. Does she lovingly place it all into his manly hands?
If you want to be a housewife, be one, if you want to be a professional woman, be one. You CAN be whatever you choose, it's not up to men to choose who we are or what we are. We are all perfectly capable of making our own decisions. We can raise children, run a household, run a business, run for office, be the Vice President, or be President and run a country. To each her own, and we can do all these things while being pregnant, if some men think that they can keep us down, well it's too late, the gene is out of the bottle.
This is not new. Goebbels (who was "chronically online" in the sense that he was obsessed with ranting on the radio and moviemaking) began several of his speeches with "German women, German men," talking to the housewives of Germany first and foremost. Making and canning sauerkraut all day from the limited supplies they could get at the produce stores, etc. There is nothing original or innovative about this subculture.
Well I’m a stay home wife and I’m as liberal as you can be. My husband has a good job and I didn’t want to leave my kids to be raised by other people as I came from a home where my mom had to work all of the time. I wanted to be home with my family because it was what I always wanted when I was a child. I’m all for people doing whatever the heck they choose to do. I support the lgbtq community. I think you can be a so called traditional wife and still be open minded. I am.
This isn’t the main issue. It’s about what happens if your marriage ends if something happens to your husband. Do you have anything in your name? Did your husband set up financial measures in place for you? Or do you have nothing which will affect you and your kid’s quality of life. This is the main argument that people make against trad-wives and what makes it such a dangerous lifestyle for women and their children.
There is a difference between being a "trad wife" and an SAHM who cannot afford childcare, who is burnt out from her career, and has independent wealth and/,or partner who makes plenty of money. You are a liberal SAHM with resources and this, choices
For those of you not familiar with it there were two Gamergates: The Quinspiracy and the Literally Who movement. The Alt Right that helped elect Trump was born from the Literally Who movement and their focus on Men's Rights to be Men. The Quinspiracy was deeply transphobic from the start and it is the Alt Right born from them that is currently in power in the GOP.
I'm skeptical of anyone telling and trying to force others how to live in a society of freedom. Live your own life and keep your nose out of other's lives. It's a full-time job.
Right?! Who cares if someone’s a serial killer or pedo!?! Mind your business! That’s the thing, people are wayyy too into peoples lives, i don’t think we should even know how much politicians make! We need to mind our damn business. We should never question our bosses lavish luxury purchases, as it’s their money, and WE NEED TO MIND OUR OWN BUSINESS! We should never look into peoples pasts when they apply for a job, because we need to mind our business. I could go onnnn and onn… avg IQ in the US is 97 and people like you are a constant reminder
About five or six years ago, I started seeing ladies showing up wearing head coverings, and I at first was like oh that’s kind of cool, that’s how it was when my great grandmother went to church as a kid, and then I saw them with like 10 kids in town and I was like wow that’s kind of amazing like a young mom already has like five or six or seven or eight kids that’s kind of crazy and Then the whole thing was happening with the children being separated from their families at the borders, and our priest was trying to talk about that and how heartbreaking it was and he got active boos From the congregation and I was like holy shit I gotta get out of here. These people are nuts.
22:55 That hit home. I was raised Mormon. It feels really benevolent and good until you break away from it and learn that it's really just like Mike Johnson on a large scale. They've got a nasty history with the John Birch Society that I didn't even learn about until >30 years of living as one, and only then because by that time I had realized that hating myself for being human was just making life miserable. It also came as a shock to me that they were so anti-communist given the things they preach about helping everyone etc, but after the initial shock things started making some sense...and I started finding out more. Mormonism is insidious. I get that all religions tend to be, but still.
Does the trad wife movement push women to have a lot of kids? If it does and these women are 'red-pilled', I wonder if there's an intersection between having lots of kids and the 'great replacement theory, esp in the more religious and christian nationalist arenas. Really informative show. Thanks.
I wish TMR had on guests that talked about how misogynistic video game communities continue to be. It’s horrible, these kids build echo chambers that genuinely hate women,. It’s so dangerous
That's true. Video games don't really have anything to do with it, it's just incel shutins who have too much free time and too little human interaction. I blame their parents.. They need social skills and to spend time outside with friends, male and female
If you think just using the word "female" is "right wing" coded...you need to see mental health doctor. The word itself is not remotely political in any way possibly conceivable to the sound mind.
@@PyrrhicPax It is outside a medical context I've noticed the people who say it tend to have weird/shitty views. It's like if women started saying males constantly instead of men/guys etc.
I just read an essay on the Heritage Foundation’s website called “PaPa Pete’s Patriarchy.” The author reminisces about the good old days of his family’s patriarch. He bemoans the devaluing of patriarchs which, he says, has led to men feeling their participation in the family is not valued. He says, “[…] restoring patriarchy, and piety, is central to the conservative project.”
Many women would be ok being "trad wives" if they had their own wealth and resources, so divorce or being cheated on is not the end of the world, because they do not depend on a man for money. They also would be ok if men were "trad husbands" in the financial sense -they all made plenty of money- and most importantly, if life was more affordable (in the 1950s if you were white, you could have a cheap good house which cost less than your car). That is why I believe that most trad wives online are just doing costume play
So, I'm intrigued. Given that the audience for tradwives is mostly men and given that the vast majority of online men lack the ability to put in the effort and the social networking skills to actually acquire a tradwife, is the goal to keep men in a state of perpetual dissatisfaction, resentment, paranoia and anger?
Yes. Once they get fed up enough to want to lash out violently they become even more useful for the alt right, they might join a militia or something worse
She also did this on the back of a non-feminin degree. The milk-snatcher went to Oxford. Thatcher studied chemistry at Somerville College, Oxford, and worked briefly as a research chemist before becoming a barrister.
These people are scared that they are loosing their status in society - so others way of thinking, living and being is a threat to them. They are scared of being insignificant. But women have worth in so many ways, they are capable of so many things and don't have to reduce themselves to just being housewives and mothers to live meaningful lives. If your only ambition in live is to be a wife and mother that is fine, but it often comes at a price. You're financial dependant on your husband, you get very little credit for what you're doing, unpaid and unappreciated housework, you dont earn a pension or rank up numbers of years spent on the job market, so you are able to advance and get a better pay check. And if he divorce you for a younger model, unless you've got a special agreement, he has paid all the bills - the house, the car,etc. and you end up with nothing.
Yes, men Ive been around talk about the wild west as if they would love to be there. For them happiness lies in the past. They would rather go backwards than forwards.
Someone said that the only “tradwife” advocates you see online are young woman (in their 20s). I wonder where the 30s, 40s and 50 year old tradwives are? Oh yes, their trad husbands left them for a younger woman and the tradwife glory has washed off. Tradwivism looks appealing only to young women who live in lalaland thinking a man will take care of them forever without him being controlling and abusive. They learn quickly once they have a child, turn 30, put on weight or he cheats on them. eg Lauren Southern
For a chilling movie on the subject of the alt right and INCELs see the film " Don't Worry Darling " The film shows what these men and women think the role of women ought to be and it appears to be a appears to be a false nostalgic view of the 1950s .
I have always told my daughter that the reason why women are stuck where we are at ( not being treated as equals and getting paid less for the same job Etc) it's because of women that you have described. It is absolutely infuriating
I feel like creators like Nara Smith have caught strays from the anti trad wife backlash. It’s fair to criticize trad wife lifestyle, especially when they are political, but there are so many folks out there just enjoying life making content about stuff they love like cooking. As a leftist I’m glad when people have the space to pursue their passions. It’s not that weird to make bread and garden to be honest. Feels a bit racist when a bunch of white women go after Nara Smith.
Her content is not reality. She makes income from the personna she's putting out. A normal woman, married with no income of her own, is not leading the "pretty" life she's living. It's trad wife soft porn. I find all those type videos eye-rolling. It's so phony.
18:37 Pearl isn’t married, nor has had any long romantic relationship in her life according to her youth friend, j aubrey has a great vid on her grifting experience
In the end being a Stepford wife seems like so much more work than choosing your own path. You are choosing a career, but one as a servant where your needs come last and you don’t get paid 😅
I play a decent amount of video games and it's still bizarre to me hearing gamergate even referenced as a thing. It always felt so contrived and pathetic that I couldn't tell if it was a joke or not for the longest time. Such a sad attempt to paint themselves as aggrieved over the least consequential shit.
To the point that _"It's about ethics in video game journalism!"_ is a literal joke on par with _"I had the biggest inauguration crowd of all time! PERIOD!!! STOP LAUGHING!"_
What's the difference between just believing women are people and some are really smart and driven, and the "girl boss" feminism? What makes one ok and the other bad?
My mom has been married for 42 years and its has been a lot of misery. Adulterous husband, a husband who has a child out of wedlock, and now my father had a stroke and is currently angry all the time. He imagines things that are not real and that everyone is out to get him. That don't sound like 42 years of happiness to me If my Mother did not have a side job when we were teenagers I am convinced she would have lost her mind. Women need to do things outside of the family to benefit the family. The stay at home mom thing does not work in 21st century
"men lose their jobs, they quit their jobs, they get hurt, they get sick, they die, they leave, they become cruel. you have to have the skills to pay the bills." a man is NOT a plan!
I’m 75;and came of age in the late 60’s. I read Betty Friedan and Gloria Steinem and they worked for women to have equal opportunities and pushed for them to have equal partnerships in marriage. My ex-husband helped me to establish credit in my own name as this was not always easy. Now it’s like the right wants us to go backwards to the 50’s.
I keep thinking of “Self in 1958” (by Anne Sexton) as describing oppression that the right want. It’s dark.
@@ecoRfan I haven’t read that one. I’ll look for it.
@@nancybryant4325 it’s really only a short poem, but says all I need to know about the oppression with “trad” norms.
It's not even the real 50s they want to degrade us to, they're chasing the hyper-PC, ultra-sanitized, literal-censor approved facade of 1950s fake TV family
It's revenge of the incels and divorced dads/Pick Mes/Boy moms whos boys abuse their girlfriends.
People like Lauren Southern made their whole career off wanting the Trad wife life, and then ran away from it as soon as they got in and saw what it was really like
Most women who are conservative talking heads report problems with sexism and misogyny from their peers at work but can’t figure out the math on that one
Lauren Southern, also known as the Canadian Serena Joy...
Gee I wonder why! What could go wrong with people who don't even respect you as a human being.
False. She made her career talking about immigration. She never really embraced or promoted being a trad wife
@@alexj-t2331 I think you are just lying
So I have been a house wife because it made financial sense for me to stay home and raise my kids while they are little, it’s harder than any paid job I ever had. What these girls are being conned with is the idea of playing house. It’s not all decorating and dinner parties. This trad wife trend is scary. Also it’s giving housewives a bad name.
The tradwife lifestyle currently is fantasy and fetish, none of which showcase the physical and emptional tutmoil of every little detail of maintaining a household and managing the stress of living. You are the actual role model, not those grifters.
I raised children and worked part-time simultaneously. I had to be full-time in both arenas. Was a single mom. Priority was my children. Keeping a job was hard but I couldn't survive otherwise and I wouldn't be able to retire. I would be fired from age and infirmity and homeless by now.
@@rosieE121 hero
(i mean heroine, lol it's just a weird word)
I feel like your views are narrow minded and put women in boxes with labels. I’m 67 and still work full time, but I took several years away from the work force to raise my kids. My husband traveled for work and was gone 5 days out of the week for 7 years. I didn’t want them to be stuck in child care and then me be too exhausted to enjoy those precious evening hours. I enjoyed those years with them and being involved with school activities. When they grew older and I was ready I resumed my career. I wouldn’t trade those years with them for the world. And I had 2 children, not 10! Be careful and don’t limit women the way the far right does!
@@cindychurch335 that's great that you were able to accomplish all those responsibilities and have things work out for the best. I know it wasn't easy or perfect but it was a success. I have the idea that's not the norm for women now. Women are not Cinderella or Beauty like in Disney where we marry a prince who takes care of us and our families the rest of our lives in high style. Even if the economy supported it, I can't see most men wanting to go along with that dreamboat.
Half marriages end in divorce and many are out for themselves, cheat, and just don't care. Unfortunately it seems the reality.
Women: are you lonely? Try a traditional role. You’ll be home alone 12 hrs a day but after that you’ll have company while serving him the rest the day.
Can't trad-wives have pets? If so I'm game 🐕🐈🦜🦎
You'll be home 24 hours a day, actually, except for alloted shopping. 12 of those hours will be spent in the kitchen. The other 12 will be spent raising the brood and massaging your kings feet.
Your leaving out the part about the whole domestic violence (by someone whose had one to many highball's) for over cooking the casserole
🥸
Why do women have a culture of being shopaholics? Because grocery shopping used to be basically the only time of day they were let out of the house.
My lady ❤ it and doesn’t mind
I almost got sucked in because I was exhausted with work and no longer wanted to work. Being a trad wife sounded like a way out. But the flip side is having a man control your finances thus controlling your life. That doesn’t solve your problems.
This is such an important aspect that doesn't get enough discussion. Being a traditional housewife means not being alienated from the fruits of your labor. All of your work directly benefits you and your loved ones, making your family's life richer in what you value, which is a lot more appealing than making your employer richer and more powerful with every day you labor in a job.
@@Laurasaurus5
When you work, you get richer too and are in charge of your own destiny.
@@wyleecoyotee4252 Sure, you might get richer, but if you're a mom then chances are you're barely breaking even between working full-time and paying for full-time child care. There's a tendency on the left to only focus on how tradwives can be exploited by their husbands and left with nothing, but let's be real, you're also going to be exploited and left with nothing in most jobs! I just think leftist commentary is really failing to acknowledge these aspects and how worker's rights are women's rights. I also never see it acknowledged that even if your marriage is rock solid, there is still the real risk of the sole bread-winner becoming disabled, being diagnosed with a serious illness, or dying, which can put the family into debt, aka LESS THAN ZERO and no way out if the trad wife has no education or work history when things get bad.
You can be a stay at home parent without being in a psycho cult.
Some people just like taking an active role in raising their children. I'd love to home school my kid if i could afford it
@@Laurasaurus5 Unless a traditional wife has financial assets in her own name, it's a bad idea. Life isn't predictable anything could happen to him, he could leave, get sick or die, then what.
This won't last long because as soon as the trad wives reach the old age of 30-35 they'll be ditched for the cute 19-21 year old some former trad wives are already talking about being dumped for the younger ladies.
There is Canadian RUclipsr who had this happen and now posts about it and how being a young trader with no work history or college degree has set her up for failure as a newly single mom. If she didn’t have RUclips, she’d have nothing. For every RUclips celeb, there are thousands with no backup.
@@Danielle-zq7kbthe RUclips celebs also are No tradwives But tradwife-performers who are actually businesswomen, so they promote something they are Not.
I remember that era back in the day. I was an employment interviewer for a couple of companies that hired a lot of clerk typists, file clerks, etc. entry level stuff. I had a lot of no longer young women apply who were dumped by their husbands because they’d found a new model. I remember one very pretty forty-something woman whose ex husband was a pilot for United and she had lived a very upscale life until he left her for a young stewardess. Of course, would she really be happy working for us at minimum wage? No, who would? Truth is, though, I preferred to hire new high school graduates so we didn’t have to mess with absences due to child care problems and were a better blend, looked better and were happier… it sounds terrible, I know, but it worked for the companies to have a younger crew, turnover was no problem because applicants were a dime a dozen back then; no shortage., and HR recruiters are just glorified pimps anyway.
@@sandarahcatmom9897Jeez, I really hope someone sued your company for discrimination and won. Or was that before those kinds of protections? This is the kind of thing these people want to send us back to.
@@Danielle-zq7kb I used to help single parents and homemakers gain a career and you can imagine how many Conservative women, once on the outs (often with a lawyer husband--I later became an attorney) realised just how tiny that safety net was--the one they complained about as serving the non-deserving--and how they didn't qualify because their ex-husbands were providing so very little they still had too much money to qualify. It's always the way. These women cling to youth to keep their privilege, crap on other women, and then are in for a shock if their husbands get the upper hand in the divorce that he brings about. No wonder women are leaving in record numbers once they can support themselves.
If conservatives want a trad lifestyle then why constantly attack things that HELP people have those lifestyles? Worker protections, lower working hours with no loss of pay, living wages, no fault divorce, right to abortion (which is family planning) are all things that benefit people who want that life AND for those who don’t
All those things forget one KEY aspect of the traditional (1950s American) lifestyle.... The man must be in control of all things. Without a literal patriarchy, it's not a traditional (1950s American) lifestyle.
@@PyrrhicPaxactually the woman was in charge of the home expenses. Men made the money and gave the money to their wives to balance their checkbooks and budget for the house. We also had a lot more social programs and taxing of wealth back then too but those specific 1950’s values tend to get overlooked by conservatives, wonder why 🤔
@@alexj-t2331👆
@alexj-t2331 In some households sure. In many more women had no control over the money or their husband had the right to override any monetary decision she made whenever he felt like it
@@alexj-t2331 turning someone into your accountant doesn't mean they have authority over your money. The accountant must still defer to the accountee. The woman may have been ALLOWED to MANAGE home expenses but she wasn't in charge of them. It was common for wives to be physically disciplined for frivolous spending of their husbands earnings.
The Handmaid's Tale was supposed to be a warning not an instruction manual.
It's more of an absurd comedy than anything else
@@craighalpin896 well not in Texas..
@@tigerlilly9038 right, in Texas they are holding girls down while they attempt to impregnate them. You might not like their stances but exaggerating doesn't do anything but paint you as crazy
Brilliant comment! And pithy!
Hear Hear !!!!!!
Every aspect of Trad wife and Trad girlfriend is control. Please teach you daughters to be strong, smart, confident self-reliant adults. Politics and finances matter!
And mostly Self Reliant !! I am 70 and was raised with brothers and sisters. My mother was a traditional homemaker - and awesome at it - because my parents could afford to do that. And as a female youngest child I was still raised to be strong and confident and self reliant. That worked out well in that I married and had several children and intended to be a homemaker. Life did not turn out that way and I was able to raise my family alone ❤
Most of us, (women), grow so much between the ages of 20 and 40. Having strict gender roles and a partner who has no interest in evolving with you is a system that will, inevitably, fail.
These people are so similar to the Fundamentalist Muslims they are Terrified of.
I Wish I could like this 1000 times.
EXACTLY.
American Taliban
@@donkeywhistler I almost said that. They'd fucking LOVE Islam, if it only had more cheesy music, pork sausages and white people involved.
Thank you
You want trad wives? Give us back our wage to inflation ratio, retirement and pensions. Try doing that first, then we'll talk. No? Ok then
They think trad wives will give us back those things, because women in the workplace lined up historically with the beginning of wage stagnation. But, it also lined up with the end of unions...driven by bigots refusing to be in a union with poc and women. I'm hopeful the progressive all-inclusive unionization movement today will give us back those things, if it's allowed to grow and flourish over the next decade.
No deal there either. Fine for the guys, but I'm not going back. I have my own retirement to think about same as you. I am not livestock, whatever inflation is doing. .
Alt-Reich thought The Handmaid's Tale was an instructional video
“Wow this softcore has a phenomenal backstory”
Awesome comment!!!!
Thanks for the plans. I’ll look into it.
Truuue
@@spanqueluv9erno it was an awesome comment, you calm down!
But if these influencers are supposed to be "Tradwives" then why are they working at all even on social media? That is taking time away from their family, right?
funny how the logic works, right? :D
"Do as I say, not as I do."
Lmao being a social media influencer isn't a job, it's a hobby.
Because their misogynistic partners know cute women doing anything in a ditzy way, with a lil cleavage, will draw in pervs who will donate when asked or flirted with a bit.
It's why most OnlyFans girls learn 4Chan lingo, that's the customers who are desperate enough to watch a live stream 24/7 and donate when asked.
(Don't attack the messenger, I've spent most nights since 2016 in Trumpy bars learning about them and flipping who I could away from MAGA.)
Phyllis Schlafly told women to stay home and obey while she went to law school. She helped get Reagan elected.
Weird how alt right don't promote being a stay at home dad, but instead push women to do it. How you can tell its just sexism at play instead of just family values.
Can’t have the men be too attached to their kids or they won’t keep working at a proper line go up pace
@@alexj-t2331, by, “proper go up pace,” I presume that you mean, “proper grow-up pace,” right?
Not all people should be part of a nuclear family, and not all women “belong in the kitchen.” I don’t want to have the responsibility of a “traditional” man, if it means upholding cruel views.
@@GlennKurusuline go up as in the companies that these breadwinners work for seeing them as another cog in the machine, an expendable resource, in other words they must constantly make more profit for their bosses and shareholders and be alienated from the true value of their work and at the expense of their rights type of line go up
@@alexj-t2331 it's more basic than that. Can't have the women interact with men who might make their husband's look like little boys.
I have a thing for married MAGA women who are unhappy, and fyi they're all unhappy.
@@alexj-t2331 no, they can't have their wives possibly meet a better man and regret her current hubby who doesn't try. If they don't leave the house, where would they meet the other guy?
As a guy I love making things and doing stuff like taking 5 hour to make gum. I’m seen as a “renaissance” man for this. It is crazy to me that people don’t see the weird double standard where I’m eclectic and cool for spending time doing that versus women like this are told yeah that’s what you women do. The extreme side being trad wives. This is why feminism is just human rights I get irritated the cookies I make for my kids are always credited to my wife . But also in reverse the shaming my wife’s got when at work I mentioned doing g my laundry and they were so angry she didn’t do it for me. Ugh I give up hopefully that makes sense in not making sense haha
I genuinely suspect they can't work the washer and dryer and think it requires special training and not... a button.
Your co-workers and wider society are having such visceral reactions to you doing your family laundry because they're reading all these deeper messages into it that they don't like. For you and your wife you're just living life, doing the household tasks that you genuinely enjoy and are strong at. For you that's baking & stuff.
THEY are seeing: why doesn't she play her role like she's supposed to? Why doesn't she know her place? Does she ... *control* you? You know you're meant to control *her* right? Why are you even doing demeaning womens work? You know that damages your masculinity right?
That may sound harsh but after years of tip-toeing gently and giving such people the benefit of the doubt; when you dig deep that's truly what is at the core of their disastisfaction. They may not even realise it themselves in such clear terms, but probe them further with the right questioning and that's the answer you'll arrive at.
Make gum?
It sounds like the people around you/your wife, are locked into very specific ideas of what men do vs what women do. In truth, I'd probably assume that your wife baked the cookies too; but simply because I've not seen many guys baking! (Except on TV of course, where male cooks are more the norm.)
In religious mindsets, it's called 'complementarianism'. The idea that men and women don't do the same things, but that their roles 'complement' each other; that the man is head of household and have jobs, and women take care of the house and raise the kids. Which is a very handy way of not only controlling people psychologically as to what is and isn't 'proper' for their gender role, but also keeps people trapped in a defined box without the option to explore doing things they might like or be interested in, and keeping them from becoming more authentic, rounded people.
I recommend that any women who are considering the tradwife lifestyle read The Feminine Mystique by Betty Friedan. This book came out in 1963 and exposed the unhappiness of traditional housewives. Modern women who want to be stay at home moms need to know what they are getting into before they do.
We are not in 1963 is 2024 and this is war against nuclear family
ime, the trick is to have a partner and not a cult boss... open honesty and the pulling of one's own weight around the house can alleviate some of the overwhelming stressors.
I can't imagine that this trend would last longer than a single generation. Once women remember that trad wife usually means being completely controlled and giving up everything to 'serve' a man, who in no way is guaranteed to be either kind, or competent to make good decisions about their own lives, let alone yours as well.But that won't stop them, because that's how it works.
It's called marriage. You obey your husband because it's worth it to you to make him happy. It makes sense in other ways, but, you just have to feel them out. If you can't do that, you don't want a marriage, you want a legally binding contract to take advantage of a man, which is a sorry excuse for the concept of marriage.
Men kind of don't want to be miserable. Unless, of course, you missed the large numbers of men who refuse to date or marry, because they won't get a woman's submission, which basically crack to them.
@@HawkRauster-pg5yc- Incel ?????
Non of this Trad wife stuff is traditional. I remember the marriages of people born in the early 1900’s, and they wouldn’t know what on earth people are talking about. People on here are saying it gives men “complete financial control” and men can “do whatever” with a woman’s life. They’re counting any money he earns as his money alone, and that’s not legally how marriage worked. It was the abusive ones that gave scraps for housekeeping money. I’ve even heard on another channel a “husband” directly tell his wife to shut up, which is shocking. I think these little boys the Trad wives are married to are followers of Andrew Tate, and are not mature enough to be married yet as they’re making up fairy tales about traditional marriages that can’t stand up to the reality of life in joint harness raising children.
Julia Ebner covered tradwives in her book Going Dark. A bit missed out in this discussion is their 'counselling' practices where 'counsellors' gaslight women by insisting they are doing something wrong. It doesn't matter if their husband is angry , abusive, violent, whatever , it is always the woman's 'fault'. Julia Ebner, despite being under cover and not a tradwife had to leave the channel as she found it so coercive she was beginning to doubt herself. Beware, these are seriously nasty people.
Men can never be wrong, they can only be wronged.
Well Julia Ebner's experience on being 'conselled' within tradwives' was women policing women on the woman always being wrong.
The coercion was powerful enough to force her to step away from her undercover investigation in to tradwives.
When women coerce each other into accepting abuse it becomes an extremely regressive and toxic environment.
That is so horrible. Is it like with cults that they are no legal steps to do since you kind of agreed to be abused at the beginning?
We need to find laws against that. That is truly lifedestroying
That's also the way 'counseling' works for women when they're in high-control patriarchal religions.
Pearl is the nearly 30 yo single woman with no kids she constantly rails against. She’s projecting her own self hatred.
Who is Pearl
Don't forget the fact that she is actually a "boss babe". She does her own hiring and her workers come out against her when she fires them. Apparently she's really hard to work with and she underpays her workers and hires mostly black people while having guests like nick fuentes on People also forget that even if they are married and have kids these are not your typical "trad wives" they run whole business and produce, hire their staff and these channels make millions of dollars. they fit the modern day stereotype of the feminist boss babe more any of us do.
Isn’t this always the case? All these conservative women telling women to be more traditional… I want to scream “you’re not! Feminism has helped YOU out!”
And these trad wives I’ve seen online? All in early 20s, and most NOKids! lol. And making biscuits from scratch… I mean, come on. I know that is very for the camera, but even if you do stay home (there are and always have been stay at home moms- totally valid), we have modern appliances for a reason.
I KNOW there are *way* more *us* vs *them* but in the USA, with the red states getting religion into schools, parents taking kids out of public schools to go to religious private schools, etc… it is a little freaky.
It’s like women- wake up! Do not fall for this! Ever! Yes, life is hard- it was way harder before feminism. Don’t let this fool you.
But the Right has done such a good job talking to men. 🤷♀️.
@@MarkMark-xj9dy biscuits from scratch doesn't mean you don't use modern appliances 🙄😂 you're using the term "from scratch" incorrectly. It has to do with the ingredients
Pearl is a Russian psyop
BTW, there is a difference between being a home maker/housewife and being a TRAD wife.
they are two distinct things with some overlap. this guest is not talking about being a housewife only. there's nothing wrong with raising your own kid and baking bread from scratch! lmao
False. Ask any capitalist, and they will tell you it's immoral for an able body woman to not have her labor exploited by a corporation. Low birth rates mean that women and undocumented people need to work to make sure that we keep up endless production because capitalism requires it.
So much of anti-feminist bs is rubes being so brainrotten they don't understand how freedom works.
Until the marriage breaks down and the wife is left in poverty with no work skills.
@@icebergrose8955 That's certainly a risk, but it's by no means a certainly. Relationships that are built on mutual trust and respect survive, ones that aren't, don't. Who's working and who's staying home does not have much to do with that.
@@nealrobinson5665 I see your point. If it works for couples great but it's not a risk I'm prepared to take, I won't let my daughter take it either.
If we look historically: the working class woman has always worked hard and long days. When the "tradwife" first became fashionable in the 17th century it is when the meddle class of merchants start to make some real money. Having a wife at home that didn't work started become a status symbol of success. This is the origin of the "tradwife". Nothing more than what a Mercedes SL 500 is today.
Trad wife is nothing more that a last ditch effort of late stage capitalism. Flaunting a single income home living in comfort while many cannot make it in multiple incomes. Very much pushed by the religion- the first MLM corporation.
Whatever you need to tell yourself.
@@remnantoftheeye5580 , You were talking to yourself apparently...
Such pathetic displays of projection.
"Religion-the first MLM corporation " I' stealing that. It's so spot on.
For real. Like it was genuinely all over for the christian cults when durring desegragation times they decided they were more loyal to white supremacy than they were to their deity. The white flight to try and flee people of color moving into the neighborhoods really was the nail in the coffin.
Because really, racisim is primarily a tool used by the wealthy and powerful as a union busting and voter suppression tactic. So of course once the billionaires found out how convenient these racist stooges could be, they were never going to let them go again. And billionaires have more than enough resources from their functionally bottomless pockets to spend on propaganda to lead their sheep and feed into any bigotries they have that don't have to do with a prejudice against the wealthy.
Exploiting their blind faith to turn these people into a constant wrench in the gears of progress and accountability.
Same as in the1950s.I came from a blue collar family. We struggled. We sometimes ate the food necessities given by the government, butter, flour, sugar, cheese. We ate only popcorn or spam, just a short period of time. My mom would wear slacks, comfy shoes as she did daily chores, not a dress ,stockings and heels like Donna Reed or mrs. Brady. There were more people who couldn't live the American dream than could.
If you think of old-fashioned rural American life, BOTH Parents "stayed home", didn't they? Where's the push for "tradhusbands"?
Isnt working for another man unmanly to them?
When you sit back you realise it’s just some kind of weird modern adult entertainment trad wife cosplay.
Instead of saying their blonde and wearing skimpy clothes, it’s the Sunday best and a roast in the oven, same angle different hat.
I wonder who encouraged those two images for women, and the idea that they are binary choices.
Good gravy, I imagine the list is pretty long for that one.
@@loorthedarkelf8353 Madonna/Wh0re Complex
@@loorthedarkelf8353 Men right? You're going to blame this on men? Women have no agency whatsoever, huh? If thats true, maybe TradWife is the way to go.
@@dannyb2783i can feel the bitterness oozing from this comment. Who hurt you? Yes, traditionally the enforcers of traditional lifestyles have been wealthy men in positions of power, i mean look at who is encouraging "going back to core family values", rich older men in suits with beer guts.
I have a conservative, Bible thumping cousin who told me how he believes women need to obey their husband. His current wife is like 10 years older than him. I have no idea how she bought into that situation.
Senile dementia? Traumatic Brain Injury?
*Desperation, perhaps? Some men and women alike are so desperate for someone of the opposite sex in their lives that they'll just settle for whatever. You get what you settle for.*
Desperation
She fell into the fear trap
More stuff like this, please, TMR. There is a huge lack of understanding of how insidious the movement can be.
Sadly these women will eventually find out when their husband trades them in for a younger woman.
look no further than Betty Broderick. She did everything for husband, raise their children until the day the husband traded her in for a younger woman. It drove her insane to the point of murder
Then they’ll graduate to the “traditional” role of the “kept” wife traded in for a newer model….the neighborhood lush.
They end up as the raging Karens
@@beaniesonna3052now it all makes sense😂
I just dont understand why men are lining up for this. As a man, i dont want to be a workhorse for anyone. I want a balanced life, a life that i am at peace with. The capitalistic form of dating and relationships and other contexts is in direct confrontation to the man and the value of "being". So when people tell men "to just be" they don't know how to do that and how to be at peace within themselves. Theres always something else to chase or conqure or discipline yourself. Its very destructive way to live that preaches you have to be miserable in order to provide for your family or just survive on very little which the data is showing is becoming increasingly harder to do. More men need to become against this stuff.
They think they want to be Don Draper, with the glam and beautiful SAHM, the home and kids. They leave out the part where Betty the wife was miserable and bored, and where Don medicated his own misery with alcohol, cigarettes and sleeping with women who did not look or feel as miserable as Betty. Or the fact that Don was a workaholic who avoided being home. They also leave out the part where Joan was so desperate to be a wife and SAHM that she marries her rapist, and realizes that she loves her work. Even Mad Men was showing the reality of trad families back then.
As a man I would much rather have a woman want me than need me. To me that means everyone is happy.
That’s fine at the beginning of a long-term relationship. But one of the reasons why the marriage vows include in sickness and health, rich and poor, is that often each partner in the relationship will become more needy or less capable and the other might have to become a full-time carer or step in to become the main breadwinner.
@@AtheistEvebut you’re still not trapping someone into a marriage out of necessity. He’s saying he would much rather have someone there in their own volition. When someone is there on their own volition, they are there through sickness and health because they WANT to be there. Not because they HAVE to be.
@@Sarah-re7cg Want and need are much more interchangeable within married relationships. Some people actually want to be needed or need to be wanted. There’s a lot more ebb and flow over the years. And we should understand that if we take a vow to accept that contract.
Of course, if the OP simply wants to move from one “want” relationship to another as soon as the person becomes reliant or has needs, that’s fine for them. Might become a bit superficial and, who’s to say that the OP might not have some needs of their own.
My mom married in 1978 because she wanted this life
And she had it - didn’t have to work and had me one year later
My father was very abusive, cheated on her, and used her as an emotional punching bag
She told me she can’t leave him because she’s bound to him financially
Now he’s 70 and they rely on his pension plan
He struts his stuff all over the beach and calls all his widowed neighbors his “girlfriends”
~~
I decided at a young age I did NOT want this for myself
Got myself educated, got my masters and learned a second language
Now I work for the government
When I’m in my 60s I’m planning to retire and live off my own pension plan
I’ll strut my stuff on the beach and get a boyfriend
lol I’m kidding about the last two points
But hey - why not??
I grew up feeling like marriage was a trap and I didn’t want to be trapped. I got an education and just never felt the need to be married. I chose not to have children but raised children that came with longer term relationships. My profession also had me working with many children as well as adults - that pulled some mothering parts of me. I do not regret my choices. I don’t feel trapped. 😂
And yes - have fun with boyfriends - just make sure they aren’t using you 😂
Same
This phenomenon reminds me of the women who fall in love with and marry people in prison for life. A lot of people are attracted to psychopathy like conservatism or a serial killer.
Not a bad comparison.
Personally I find it interesting we don't talk about how our society is trying to create sociopaths to be business leaders, but a lot of people can't be that cold so they break in the middle with psychopaths who lose control easier like a child throwing a tantrum. I read a study a decade or so ago that mentions a vast majority of corporate boards would be diagnosed as sociopathic(whatever the valid diagnosis is, I'm not in the field). They're cold, calculated, dismissive, goal focused, and power hungry aka CEOs for any Fortune 500 company. We're so capitalistic that we bred and taught our kids to be little monsters for money, and they learned if they're rich enough they don't have to see poverty again because they'll never go to those parts of town.
Ouch!
@@Pickn4Goldso true.
I see couples complaining they don't have enough money to make ends meet. I don't see couples where women can afford to stay at home.
Well quite. At root, the Far Right is about propping up neoliberalism ...... which is the reason both parents are working all the hours God sends just to survive.
Yeah, this idea mainly serves to legitimize dudes with money abusing women. And indirectly promotes mysoginistic ideas for the average couple. It's similar to how some working people see themselves as temporarily embarrased millionares and justify the exploitative practices of some companies
Hey. I'm a leftist and I'm also a stay at home mom. I was an educator for 15 years. We exist.
@@fighttheevilrobots3417 of course you exist, it's just that it's not very common. And nothing wrong with being a stay at home mom or dad either, it's the idealization and reasoning conservatives use that's wrong
@@nekoiza4190 I’ve read online of women whose husbands make $50k say they make it work which is nuts to me because they also have several children. Imo, this lifestyle is so risky that it’s not worth it unless the man makes a lot of money and he puts you on assets, his retirement plan, and gives you a legitimate allowance that is for your personal use away from paying bills.
I recently left corporate America to be a stay at home mom with my two kids (2 and 5). I totally fit the description of what you said a tradwife is, except that I'm extremely liberal. I was born and raised in West LA, and I'm a lifetime Democrat and atheist. I used to be a Product Management Director at a major corporation. It nearly killed me to raise my two kids while working 9-10 hours a day at my high stress corporate job. That was like having two jobs, and working 16 hours a day every day. I gained weight, my cholesterol went up and I was exhausted all the time. Then I got laid off in January and have decided to just stay home with the kids. My life is 1000x better. My cholesterol went down 50 points. My hair started growing back. I feel like I de-aged 10 years. I lived the feminist girl boss mommy dream and it was frankly awful. I just want to have this time with my children. Something is wrong when only the top 1% of income earners can make the choice I did. I don't think it's fair to vilify all stay at home moms who just want to focus on creating domestic value. That should be a legitimate choice for women without all the stigma attached to it.
You are a SAHM. Not a trad-wife. Trad-wife is a lifestyle that is rooted in religion and conservatism. You cannot be liberal and be a trad-wife, but you can be a SAHM. The reason why trad-wives have stigma is because women are often abandoned by their husbands for someone younger , and they and their kids are left homeless and poor. The stigma exists for a reasons.
The "feminist girl boss momy dream" is to have control of our lives, to not have to choose between family and career, and definitely NOT be exploited
Exactly. Should be a choice. Not dogma
I was a big law firm attorney and made your same choice after my 2nd child was born. I recognize the privilege it is to be a SAHM. My spouse and I made sacrifices to make it happen, but I would NEVER judge another couple's choice - either to work or not. It's none of my business, and no one knows another's financial/emotional burdens.
They also failed to realize majority of the people doesn't make enough money to support the kind of lifestyle they depicted in that movement.
Yea it's all very "ascetic" driven, it's an image of a dream of a nolstagic notion. It's not real it's a fantasy.
I am an outspoken feminist liberal who is politically active and not religious, and I am not working while I care for kid and elderly father… and I like baking bread, knitting, sewing, etc. I’m not doing it to influence anybody or appeal to men… these women give women a bad name. Ugh. Don’t ruin my hobbies!
It's one thing for a woman to stay home to raise children and practice home arts at her choice, but it's tragic for teen girls to be raised with no other prospects. In the '60s many teen girls were discouraged from careers of their choice or were led to believe they had less to offer. Making them feel they must be submissive is a crime.
I didn’t work for a couple of years. Some of that was maternity leave then I got a redundancy so I had extra $$ to stay home longer. I enjoyed that time with my children as I had a baby and my other daughter was starting school. I had company of other mothers and was able to be involved in my daughters first year of school. In saying that there is no way I could keep being a SAHM. As my youngest was ready for day care I was ready to get back to work. Not just for contributing to household finances but also my own mental health. Lucky I keep working as my husband ended up with a gambling addict and we split when my youngest was 11. I was able to refinance the house a start again.
It will be interesting 20 years from now when the children of these tradwives start speaking out about their experience being raised by them
Because Pearl just hates women. That’s what keeps her on the outskirts because even red pill men want women, they just want to demean them. And the trad/christian arm of the movement pretends that oppressing women is for their own good. So Pearl clashes with the whole trad side. And the guys like to hear her bash women but at the end of the day they still want women so Pearl is left out.
Pearl is such a joke! Even the right points out the fact that she enjoys pretending to be an expert on relationships yet can’t get a man of her own.
Yeah, but men don't like Pearl. She is biggest Pick me I have ever seen and there are no interested takers. 😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣
The "Pick Me" that no man will pick, lol.
Pearl's entire shtick is such a self-own.
That's because she is a grotesque freak in all aspects.
@@DannyWilliamH who is pearl?
I worked with plenty of ex-trad wives, who had been cheated on by their trad husbands, who left them for their trad girlfriends, thus abandoning their trad families. It wasn’t pretty watching these totally unprepared women try to support their children. They were bitter, yet didn’t fault the trad background they’d come from.
Ms. Vigeland: thank you for this. I am 72 and learn a lot about current culture from your shows.
Pearl isn't married. She also publicly laments no longer being a virgin.
She also speaks when she believes that women should get no opinions
Does that make her a "brazen hussy", or a "filthy slattern"? There's a lot of terminology to learn...
So sad. I'm glad i don't have that kind of guilt in my life
Pearl needs to get back in the kitchen.
How does her head Not explode with so much cognitive dissonance@@alexj-t2331
What I find particularly pernicious is that trad-wife influencers _don't_ actually live that life. Or if they _really_ do, they do so by choice. Which is unlike how countless women are forced into subservient roles in the real world.
Its just a con. Problem are the conned tradwives or mostly Girls who get pregnant and are still children in their heads
"For the history of the 20th Century, you can take the word Fascism and replace it with Catholic Right Wing and you don't have to change a thing."
- Christopher Hitchens (On Fascism and Religion)
He was wrong. He meant Protestant.
People have gotta stop quoting Hitchens on religion.
@@Jd-808 Once he stops being correct about organized religion I'm sure the quotes will stop.
Protestant and Catholic.
@@JenniferRusso5 Fundamentalist leaning Catholics and Protestants
Coming from a ultra right religious home, i know my mother adopted these right wing ideas because she needed to show that she was such a saint, like we say in Colombia, show that "she doesn't brake a plate".They have done some bad stuff or they are currentlty doing something they can be punished for so they go all the way in judgment and pointing fingers. My mother was so lazy, she didn't want to work or even clean the house, she was the worst mother, but she needed to have and have babies so she could always be this eternal lady who suffers and needed help.
Usually the most sanctimonious people are in reality the worst people. It’s all projection.
Back in the late 70s early 80s when I was a young married woman I had what I learned would be the only child I would ever be able to conceive. I put all my energy and focus on the baby and my husband, believing I'd be a SAHM after his birth. He was premature and had tons of issues, nearly dying several times in his first year, including his first night. My husband made plenty of money to support us without a second income and I was perfectly happy and content taking care of the baby and the house and my marriage. Unfortunately my husband insisted I go back to work when the sickly baby was only 6 weeks old. My job at the time wasn't even a career, I was a cashier in a supermarket. He literally forced me to go back to work which in turn drove me to pursuing a better education and career and ultimately we were divorced. Later I'd hear the far right blaming "women's lib" for ruining society. If he hadn't forced me to work a menial job I wouldn't have obtained a graduate degree and raised my son alone. Now he's old and bitter and still blaming me.
So they’re telling other women to be quiet? What if their husband told them to stop being an influencer?
Please do an episode on how the private school voucher system in America is leaching public funds from public schools. How are public schools funded? What makes one public school more successful than another?
How has public school quality been impacted by the private school vouchers being used to send normally abled children to religious private schools? Wasn't the voucher system meant to fund tuition for kids with special needs and children who live in areas without public schools?
I was thinking about the trad wife or traditional wife and how and why that terminology came about. The "traditional" wife came about because women had no rights. Women could not vote. Women could not own a business. Women were treated as third class citizens. Women had no say in politics. Women were told to shut up and listen. Women could not hold a conversation around a dinner table. Women were not allowed to have a bank account. Women could not own a home. In order for women to do anything out of the ordinary they had to get written permission from their husbands. The only place that women were allowed to be is in a house, in a kitchen, raising babies. That's all they were good for. So all these descriptions I have made here describe the "traditional woman". This term is dishonest. Whoever assigned the description of a women as a traditional woman is simply covering up the fact that they had no rights and someone was trying to make themselves feel good about how they treated women in the past. Try any of this stuff nowadays with a woman and as the saying goes... F.A.A.F.O.
This topic is culturally facinating to me.
See, I became a military spouse in 2011, and the Tradwife culture is so strong It Is Assumed that is the life you will live. Hell, in 2011 the Family Readiness Group still called itself The Wives' Club. Every event the FRG sponsored assumed
- You are a woman
- You have children
- You are desperate for human contact unburdened by your children
Which, granted, I'm sure is great for the moms in the group-- BUT THAT DOESN'T COVER EVERYONE AND ALIENATES THOSE WITHOUT KIDS WHO ARE ALSO DESPERATE FOR COMMUNITY.
If you're married to a career service member, you will move every 3 years or only see your spouse when they take leave. Most young folk choose the move, cutting them off from friends and family and making the FRG their only surefire social space where some basic respect for their existance will be maintained.
I am not a woman. I was born with a vulva, I did grow breasts, but when people engage me As A Woman the assumptions they make about me Are Wrong, and I get to spend that conversation correcting those assumptions and tanking personal attacks in the process.
"Where are your kids?" Is the first question I get asked in these spaces. Not "Do you have kids?" But "Where are they?"
When I was young and nieve I told them the same thing I told my parents: "I have no interest in birthing or rearing children, and the sounds young children make are actively distressing to me to the point of both physical and psychological pain. Raising a child Would Be Torture For Me."
Of course, like my parents, they never let me finish speaking. They interrupt me at I Have No Interest and try to persuade me.
I have a low tolorance for persuasion when the person attempting it has failed to hear me.
Much like my school career, my time with the FRG is tense and full of interpersonal moments that made it clear I would not be welcome unless I conformed to expectations. So I withdrew.
Seeing the things that so many tried and failed to force upon me spilling over into the main stream is equal parts distressing and validating.
My mom went to one FRG meeting when I was deployed (Guard). She said "They are a bunch of catastrophisers! They'd sit around and think of all the ways you were going to be killed.". She didn't participate after that.
Pearl, who grew up in a 10 bedroom house with a Daddy who supported her until she decided making money eroding women's rights (she says nothing about her Mom) is Way Over the Hill as 15 year olds are what men really want, according to Pearl.
That’s cuz her mom works, and has advocated for women’s rights at the UN or some organization like that.
How are these women being tradwives if they spend their time doing programs on the internet. Running a business from home is still being in business. They are spending a lot of their time not being a tradwife. It is a misnomer. Just because you are at working at home doesn't mean you are traditional. The trend is often moving towards working at home overall for the workforce. How can women put themselves down like this.
Traditionalist ideas have some pie-in-the-sky idea that if they stay home like June Cleaver did then husbands would automatically be able to get that high paying job, pay all the bills, fund vacations, and come home on schedule to take over the housekeeping and child rearing so wife could go out for a much needed break. No divorce because he is so concerned about wife's and children's well-being. Sure.
Really enjoyed this conversation. Made my housework go by ever much faster while my ever lovin' wife is off making the bacon.
With who?
😂😂😂
Online trad wife influencers create affluence porn. One must be quite well off to make bread from scratch daily and live on one income.
Men often don’t know and don’t care about cost of living. They think that $20 should cover two weeks of steak dinners for family of four, and after two weeks he will ask for change. You should’ve left something, right?
@@vg7985 What a ridiculous comment.
@@vg7985Huh? What are you even talking about, myself and every man I know are acutely aware of the cost of groceries, rent/mortgage etc. - it sounds like you’re talking about 14 year old boys, not men.
@@yellowblanka6058 just personal experience. Father gives his daughter $2 to go to movies and “ get popcorn too”. Father pays $50/ month child support and complains how he pays for his wife’s and kids lavish lifestyle. Husband demands party for 20 people and gives $40. Yeah, it’s real.
$20 for two weeks of steak? Take my money and get the store lady.
Any company that uses the word PATRIOT or LIBERTY or FREEDOM is a company I try to avoid.
For example: Patriot Gold? No Thanks. Patriot flag company? At least that makes sense.
Agreed.
Agreed. I just saw a neighbor of one of my clients hire "patriot contracting". Red white and blue wrap on the truck. No visible maga gear, but still, no thanks. I don't trust anyone who needs to project their supposed love for country that much.
Also, TRUTH.
Garunteed bullshit.
6:05 problem with the "traditional family" is that women and children are trapped in very abusive households. I know. I grew up in one.
I recently watched a video about the trad wife movement and there was a particular video of a woman making ice cream for her husband being analysed. This was my first experience of viewing these videos, even though I have actually heard about them before, and I was surprised how overtly sexualised she was being. She spoke in a hushed, breathy tone, her hand movements were slow and alluring, the video kept showing her looking wistfully at what she was doing … she was clearly doing it all on purpose. I guessed pretty quickly that she was playing to the men who watch her videos. How does that fit exactly with a “traditional” wife ethos??
The breathy voice is known as the “fundy baby” voice, and all of these read-wives are basically making pron for conservatives. Their comment sections are full of men complaining that their wives don’t do stuff like this, praising the lady for catering to her man like a woman should, etc. When in reality the lady is a content creator who makes similar or more than her husband, and once the camera is off she isn’t catering anything. She has a nanny, maid, etc. who work for her.
The breathy voice is known as the “fundy baby” voice, and all of these read-wives are basically making pron for conservatives. Their comment sections are full of men complaining that their wives don’t do stuff like this, praising the lady for catering to her man like a woman should, etc. When in reality the lady is a content creator who makes similar or more than her husband, and once the camera is off she isn’t catering anything. She has a nanny, maid, etc. who work for her.
The breathy voice is known as the “fundy baby” voice, and all of these read-wives are basically making pron for conservatives. Their comment sections are full of men complaining that their wives don’t do stuff like this, praising the lady for catering to her man like a woman should, etc. When in reality the lady is a content creator who makes similar or more than her husband, and once the camera is off she isn’t catering anything. She has a nanny, maid, etc. who work for her.
It fits perfectly, the tradwife is also a sexobject, a cookobject, achildbearingvehicle, a housecleaningmachine. The less human the better
This always being about choice and consent, when there is a way out things rarely get too bad. This is why even if someone wants to be a housewife, she should have a backup plan so if the situation gets bad she can leave and still have a decent life. Even good partners can get sick or die. The worst part is that extends to the rest of life, such as homelessness being using as a threat to keeep people in horrible jobs.
Year 1: "OMG you guys! Being a tradwife is so fun and trendy!"
Year 5: "Wait a minute. My husband is just abusive"
Year 10: My body is unacceptable to him from having so many kids.
Year 15: after he left me for a younger model, I'm in dire poverty with no place to live.
Year 16: "The is all THE LEFT™'S fault!"
@@outtahere156 Year 20: on Tik Tok. “I was a trad-wife and it ruined my life. Please don’t do what I did”.
I am a feminist but was a stay-at-home mom in the 90s. There was an emphasis on making things from scratch and glorifying family activities. It was not as extreme as tradwifery and it did not demonize other options.
Nearly every tradwife narrative ends the same way: “…And then I discovered I wasn’t young and beautiful anymore, and my husband strayed (or died), and he had hidden (or spent) all the money, and I have no job or life skills except baking yeast bread…” Surprise! Nevertheless, I AM curious to know how the successful tradwife RUclipsr deals with having an income many times higher than her husband. Does she lovingly place it all into his manly hands?
If you want to be a housewife, be one, if you want to be a professional woman, be one. You CAN be whatever you choose, it's not up to men to choose who we are or what we are. We are all perfectly capable of making our own decisions. We can raise children, run a household, run a business, run for office, be the Vice President, or be President and run a country. To each her own, and we can do all these things while being pregnant, if some men think that they can keep us down, well it's too late, the gene is out of the bottle.
This whole scene is Narc Central.
This is not new. Goebbels (who was "chronically online" in the sense that he was obsessed with ranting on the radio and moviemaking) began several of his speeches with "German women, German men," talking to the housewives of Germany first and foremost. Making and canning sauerkraut all day from the limited supplies they could get at the produce stores, etc. There is nothing original or innovative about this subculture.
Well I’m a stay home wife and I’m as liberal as you can be. My husband has a good job and I didn’t want to leave my kids to be raised by other people as I came from a home where my mom had to work all of the time. I wanted to be home with my family because it was what I always wanted when I was a child. I’m all for people doing whatever the heck they choose to do. I support the lgbtq community. I think you can be a so called traditional wife and still be open minded. I am.
This isn’t the main issue. It’s about what happens if your marriage ends if something happens to your husband. Do you have anything in your name? Did your husband set up financial measures in place for you? Or do you have nothing which will affect you and your kid’s quality of life. This is the main argument that people make against trad-wives and what makes it such a dangerous lifestyle for women and their children.
There is a difference between being a "trad wife" and an SAHM who cannot afford childcare, who is burnt out from her career, and has independent wealth and/,or partner who makes plenty of money. You are a liberal SAHM with resources and this, choices
Be a tradwife, with a traditional platform traditionally earning hundreds of thousands of traditional independent income. Traditionally.
Anyone being convinced to put themselves in chains is just the saddest thing to me. This is grooming
Yeah, go be a wage slave for some boss for 55k a year instead. Very liberating.
For those of you not familiar with it there were two Gamergates: The Quinspiracy and the Literally Who movement. The Alt Right that helped elect Trump was born from the Literally Who movement and their focus on Men's Rights to be Men. The Quinspiracy was deeply transphobic from the start and it is the Alt Right born from them that is currently in power in the GOP.
I'm skeptical of anyone telling and trying to force others how to live in a society of freedom. Live your own life and keep your nose out of other's lives. It's a full-time job.
Right?! Who cares if someone’s a serial killer or pedo!?! Mind your business! That’s the thing, people are wayyy too into peoples lives, i don’t think we should even know how much politicians make! We need to mind our damn business. We should never question our bosses lavish luxury purchases, as it’s their money, and WE NEED TO MIND OUR OWN BUSINESS! We should never look into peoples pasts when they apply for a job, because we need to mind our business.
I could go onnnn and onn… avg IQ in the US is 97 and people like you are a constant reminder
Oh the horrors of traditional wives. Imagine taking care of your kids that you made!
Left is best.
and sexy!
Except on election day, obviously 😉 When the election comes, the Majority Report will tell you to vote for the corporate centrist zionist Biden😉
About five or six years ago, I started seeing ladies showing up wearing head coverings, and I at first was like oh that’s kind of cool, that’s how it was when my great grandmother went to church as a kid, and then I saw them with like 10 kids in town and I was like wow that’s kind of amazing like a young mom already has like five or six or seven or eight kids that’s kind of crazy and Then the whole thing was happening with the children being separated from their families at the borders, and our priest was trying to talk about that and how heartbreaking it was and he got active boos From the congregation and I was like holy shit I gotta get out of here. These people are nuts.
22:55 That hit home. I was raised Mormon. It feels really benevolent and good until you break away from it and learn that it's really just like Mike Johnson on a large scale. They've got a nasty history with the John Birch Society that I didn't even learn about until >30 years of living as one, and only then because by that time I had realized that hating myself for being human was just making life miserable. It also came as a shock to me that they were so anti-communist given the things they preach about helping everyone etc, but after the initial shock things started making some sense...and I started finding out more. Mormonism is insidious. I get that all religions tend to be, but still.
Does the trad wife movement push women to have a lot of kids? If it does and these women are 'red-pilled', I wonder if there's an intersection between having lots of kids and the 'great replacement theory, esp in the more religious and christian nationalist arenas. Really informative show. Thanks.
Trad wife has become part of the Permaculture scene in some circles as well
I had to jump out of this ….her use of the word “like” every few seconds was too much.
I wish TMR had on guests that talked about how misogynistic video game communities continue to be. It’s horrible, these kids build echo chambers that genuinely hate women,. It’s so dangerous
That's true. Video games don't really have anything to do with it, it's just incel shutins who have too much free time and too little human interaction.
I blame their parents.. They need social skills and to spend time outside with friends, male and female
Not all gaming communities. I'm a gamer, and the idea of tradwives kinda makes me sick.
I think my brain can't help it anymore, but the minute someone says 'female', it brings immediate redpill/rightwing flavor.
If you think just using the word "female" is "right wing" coded...you need to see mental health doctor. The word itself is not remotely political in any way possibly conceivable to the sound mind.
Ferengi from Star Trek...
Female is the biological sex assigned at birth, it’s a scientific term.
@@PyrrhicPax It is outside a medical context I've noticed the people who say it tend to have weird/shitty views. It's like if women started saying males constantly instead of men/guys etc.
@@PyrrhicPax Meh... depends on the social context. It comes across as very incel-ish these days.
I just read an essay on the Heritage Foundation’s website called “PaPa Pete’s Patriarchy.” The author reminisces about the good old days of his family’s patriarch. He bemoans the devaluing of patriarchs which, he says, has led to men feeling their participation in the family is not valued. He says, “[…] restoring patriarchy, and piety, is central to the conservative project.”
Hannah Alonzo did a great video recently breaking down how fake and performative a lot of the trad wife influencers are.
Many women would be ok being "trad wives" if they had their own wealth and resources, so divorce or being cheated on is not the end of the world, because they do not depend on a man for money. They also would be ok if men were "trad husbands" in the financial sense -they all made plenty of money- and most importantly, if life was more affordable (in the 1950s if you were white, you could have a cheap good house which cost less than your car). That is why I believe that most trad wives online are just doing costume play
Ask the women of Afghanistan how they like the Trad Wife Life.
So, I'm intrigued. Given that the audience for tradwives is mostly men and given that the vast majority of online men lack the ability to put in the effort and the social networking skills to actually acquire a tradwife, is the goal to keep men in a state of perpetual dissatisfaction, resentment, paranoia and anger?
Yes. Once they get fed up enough to want to lash out violently they become even more useful for the alt right, they might join a militia or something worse
Famously Margaret Thatcher used to cook supper for her favourites every week and whip them into shape. She was also anti-feminist.
She also did this on the back of a non-feminin degree. The milk-snatcher went to Oxford.
Thatcher studied chemistry at Somerville College, Oxford, and worked briefly as a research chemist before becoming a barrister.
These people are scared that they are loosing their status in society - so others way of thinking, living and being is a threat to them. They are scared of being insignificant. But women have worth in so many ways, they are capable of so many things and don't have to reduce themselves to just being housewives and mothers to live meaningful lives. If your only ambition in live is to be a wife and mother that is fine, but it often comes at a price. You're financial dependant on your husband, you get very little credit for what you're doing, unpaid and unappreciated housework, you dont earn a pension or rank up numbers of years spent on the job market, so you are able to advance and get a better pay check. And if he divorce you for a younger model, unless you've got a special agreement, he has paid all the bills - the house, the car,etc. and you end up with nothing.
They want the country to time travel back to the 1950s??
I don’t know 🤷♂️, my grandmother was very happy
1850's.
Yes, men Ive been around talk about the wild west as if they would love to be there. For them happiness lies in the past. They would rather go backwards than forwards.
More like the 1800’s. 😅
Someone said that the only “tradwife” advocates you see online are young woman (in their 20s). I wonder where the 30s, 40s and 50 year old tradwives are?
Oh yes, their trad husbands left them for a younger woman and the tradwife glory has washed off.
Tradwivism looks appealing only to young women who live in lalaland thinking a man will take care of them forever without him being controlling and abusive.
They learn quickly once they have a child, turn 30, put on weight or he cheats on them. eg Lauren Southern
For a chilling movie on the subject of the alt right and INCELs see the film " Don't Worry Darling " The film shows what these men and women think the role of women ought to be and it appears to be a appears to be a false nostalgic view of the 1950s .
I have always told my daughter that the reason why women are stuck where we are at ( not being treated as equals and getting paid less for the same job Etc) it's because of women that you have described. It is absolutely infuriating
I feel like creators like Nara Smith have caught strays from the anti trad wife backlash. It’s fair to criticize trad wife lifestyle, especially when they are political, but there are so many folks out there just enjoying life making content about stuff they love like cooking. As a leftist I’m glad when people have the space to pursue their passions. It’s not that weird to make bread and garden to be honest. Feels a bit racist when a bunch of white women go after Nara Smith.
She's actually cool and is a model. She got bad eczema, and I think that is the reason she made her own food.
Her content is not reality. She makes income from the personna she's putting out. A normal woman, married with no income of her own, is not leading the "pretty" life she's living. It's trad wife soft porn. I find all those type videos eye-rolling. It's so phony.
You seriously think what?
Dr Leidig was an amazingly insightful guest! Thought this was a great segment!
18:37 Pearl isn’t married, nor has had any long romantic relationship in her life according to her youth friend, j aubrey has a great vid on her grifting experience
Sad that some women would rather be Stepford Wives than have the will and drive to go there own way.
In the end being a Stepford wife seems like so much more work than choosing your own path. You are choosing a career, but one as a servant where your needs come last and you don’t get paid 😅
I play a decent amount of video games and it's still bizarre to me hearing gamergate even referenced as a thing. It always felt so contrived and pathetic that I couldn't tell if it was a joke or not for the longest time. Such a sad attempt to paint themselves as aggrieved over the least consequential shit.
To the point that _"It's about ethics in video game journalism!"_ is a literal joke on par with _"I had the biggest inauguration crowd of all time! PERIOD!!! STOP LAUGHING!"_
Gamergate oh yeah … wasn’t Brianna Wu also a part of it, who has now become a horrible ultrazionist?
What's the difference between just believing women are people and some are really smart and driven, and the "girl boss" feminism? What makes one ok and the other bad?
My mom has been married for 42 years and its has been a lot of misery. Adulterous husband, a husband who has a child out of wedlock, and now my father had a stroke and is currently angry all the time. He imagines things that are not real and that everyone is out to get him.
That don't sound like 42 years of happiness to me
If my Mother did not have a side job when we were teenagers I am convinced she would have lost her mind. Women need to do things outside of the family to benefit the family. The stay at home mom thing does not work in 21st century
@@spanqueluv9er I know what the issue is. Your lack of understanding is the only thing that is apparent here
"men lose their jobs, they quit their jobs, they get hurt, they get sick, they die, they leave, they become cruel. you have to have the skills to pay the bills."
a man is NOT a plan!
Why do so many people now say "woman" when they mean "women?"
perhaps they are saying "women" but pronouncing it "wooo-men" instead of "wi-men"? that's all i can come up with.
My daughter pointed this out to me and it is a real thing 😮
Maybe it's easier for certain people to think of women as product prototypes instead of whole human beings with their own thoughts and desires.
Because not everyone has perfect pronunciation and you are reading too hard into things?
@@abracadaverous Because their brains can’t process past the “need” for permanent caregivers/cheerleaders with benefits.
something seriously wrong with a society if grown up men desperately need mothers.
As a man I 1000x agree with you!