My son told me that if and when I get sick he would not take me to dr appointments or get groceries for me he said he didn't want to feel that he has to do these to inherit what I have. So I waited a year and thought about it then I went to my lawyer and changed my will and left him and his wife nothing. 😅😅pay back now he doesn't have to worry about inheriting what I have
While I understand the hurt and you doing that. I have a question, are you trying to get even and hurt Him from the gravy? If so, that is very sad and you have NO ideal how that will hurt!!?😢😢😢😢
I wasn't perfect, but I was a good mother. My children always came first and got what they wanted. When my two daughters got older they treated me like crap and criticized everything I said. I loved them both but I finally gave up. They don't call or bother with me since they are both living in a different state. I just gave up trying and quit calling them since they don't bother to call me. I know they will say I stopped calling them. It's always my fault and i finally decided to worry about me and just take care of me and be happy for me.
@dolphin19521 - I can relate to your frustration with your children. I have one daughter who’s 44 years old now. We were always close, at least I thought we were. I’m disabled and completely on my own. She won’t even text or call to check on me yet she is upset with me. If I didn’t have a relationship with Jesus I know I wouldn’t have been able to endure the past few decades because I would have completely given up and succumbed to my anguish… it’s been that difficult. If it’s alright with you I’d like to pray for you as well. My name is Lisa and I live in Central Kentucky.
@@dolphin19521 that is so sad . Some children become so hurtful and treat parents shamefully. Please take care of yourself, you are important and know that God sees everything. He knows our tears and heartache. Just look up to him and trust Him always. Thinking of you ♥️♥️
I was watching the movie called "War Room" In the movie she says this: "My joy doesn't come from my husband, or my job or children. My joy comes from the Lord." When I decided to look to God as my source of true joy it changed everything for me. I no longer spend time being sad because my son doesn't call or visit. I trust that God will supply all my needs and he has. God will set the solitary in families. I'm alone but I'm not lonely. I've found a peace that passes all understanding. It all happened when I let go of what I thought should be and embraced what God had for me. God does not disappoint. The best is yet to come!! Thanks for sharing this awesome advice!
Same here. Jesus is the reason I have Joy in my heart. I put all my trust in Him and He never fails. Our children may fail us but Jesus never will. I'm 78. The Joy He puts in my heart is real and better than life itself. I pray He will give all of you peace and joy in your hearts. Don't look to people or others including our children to satisfy our need to be loved. No one loves you more than Jesus. Read your Bible and His perfect peace will comfort your hurting hearts. John 3:16
there are a lot of lonely people near us and far away in our travels…….i love to reach out to them and share God’s love and forgiveness with them…..it has been AMAZING!
I am a lonely 66 yrs old woman, I love my kids so much and gave my life to them but as they're grown now no one remember me when I was very sick I was dying by myself at home but only when I give presents they're happy with me I feel I've been used not loved, the only real love I find comes from jesus my lord and saver, thank you God 😢🙏🙏🙏
I am 78 and fully understand everyone who is hurting. Friends, we are living in the last days and the Bible talks about children disrespecting their parents and love growing cold. Put your faith and trust in God and pray for your lost children because the enemy of God seeks to devour and destroy all God's children. We can be angry and not let that anger make us ill if we give our children to God and release our pain to Jesus. For Jesus is the healer of broken hearts. He is the reason I can exist. His love is perfect and He will see us through the heart ache of our children not respecting us. God bless and put your trust in Jesus because He truly loves you and me. I have a dog and God loves me through her. She can't wait until I wake up each morning with excitement. Get a pet and hang out with God. He never fails. Sending you all some hugs and love. In Jesus name. Give Him a try.
Amen! Exactly what the Bible predicted. 2 Timothy 3:1-5 New International Version 3 But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. 2 People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, 3 without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, 4 treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God- 5 having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with such people.
I was feeling sad, until i read this. My Son was so disrespectful, it hurts. He hasnt called or texted. I will leave it at that. Go on living well, is the best revenge.
My kids still do not phone often, but that's fine with me. After they first moved out on their own I was a little hurt that they did not phone often but then clued in that adult kids can be a bit self-absorbed and forget about other people's feelings. They can be busy with their friends or jobs and if we look at it in a way that they are just clueless that they are hurting us, then it can make sense that they do not contact us often. Some are immature and have not known what it is like to be ignored, so they really just don't get it!
My son didn't speak to wish me Merry Christmas he sent a text instead, which I have ignored. My daughter and her fiance phoned me and sang Merry Christmas and also left it as a recorded message.
@@islandgal500I look back on my life and see I wasn't always there for my mother being busy with young children and a job, but I was never unkind. It was me who she called for on her death bed.
That's what I do now and then when they feel guilty and do reach out, I find I have nothing to talk about and I close the FC onversation. I don't jump to reply anymore. In fact, I am at the point of blocking ft hem for a bit. I would never have bought of hurting my parents the way they have me. It is sad.
@@jenniferrevilla5298 I did that and they changed their phone number and called me. When I got the first call from my son I asked if he was a telemarketer and hung up. He called back and said Mom it's me.
@@jenniferrevilla5298I stand with you dear. I won’t speak to the ingrate I birthed. To call her daughter makes me gag. She not only is disrespectful. She allowed another member of the family to beat me up. I cannot say anymore. I am no longer a mother to a 40-year-old Monster
I can’t voice to my adult daughter when I feel bad because of something she either did or didn’t do. I’m not allowed to FEEL at all, and when I do, she punishes me by first telling me I’m toxic, and then not talking to me. I can’t win for losing.
There are millions of parents estranged from their adult children. Millions ! Read Joshua Coleman's book " Rules of Estrangement: Why Adult Children Cut Ties and How to Handle the Conflict."
This is the 2nd christmas without my son, his wife and my 3 grandchildren. February, it'll be 2 years since I've seen any of them. They live 20 minutes away.😢 it breaks my heart.
We have 2 sons whom we dedicated our lives to raising them, 9 years ago my youngest son he informed us he wanted no contact with us in anyway. I still tried to reach out. But no answer to phone calls no emails nothing. It has been like a death. But the article is exactly what I’m trying to focus on. I’m 78 and finally can focus on my life.
So as a 74 year old disabled vet I am not the only one who suffers from this, LoL? I know it's not funny, but more ironic in a sense. To all of us parents I salute us all for what we have sacrificed for our kids only to cop this nonsense in return.
@brendareed5050 Thanks Brenda. As an Australian major with the small ANZAC detachment in 1982-83 I was attached to the US-funded Multinational Force & Observers (MFO). It is smaller now, but still in place in the Sinai between Egypt and Israel. Google it. Presently, it is commanded by an Australian major general. I was on the Liaison staff. I was often in Israel, the West Bank and Gaza. The Israelis were killing the Palestinians and stealing their land back then. No one believed me when I returned to Australia. We multinational officers on the Liaison staff all went there pro-Israel due to the propaganda we had received over the years. We left despising what the Israelis were doing. I came from a faraway country, Australia. I am not a Jew or a Moslem. This was my impartial eye witness. I have been to over 50 countries and lived and worked in many in my role as an international management consultant. I have never experienced people as ruthless and aggressive as I did in Israel. Cheers. Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
It is sad so many elderly are treated badly by their children. Both my sons gonout of their way to help me. My eldest does my grocery shopping and makes my breakfast., brings my mail and makescsure i have something i can fix for dinner, and before he goes home always asks if there is anything else i need. My youngest also cooks sometimes, he lives with me and is always kind. I did not realize how fortunate i am, though i have always expressed appreciation for everything they do. I feel so blessed and loved. Iwill pray for all of those who have children who dont take care of them when they get old. I am 80. God bless all of you.
You are extremely fortunate. You have kids with conscience. Still, though you are not aware of it, they are going out of their way for you, and on some level this is an intrusion on their lives. If they don’t resent you, you are indeed lucky. If they have their own lives with families , they truly respect and love you, but they are going out of their way. Be grateful as possible. I’m 74 and taking care of 101 year old aunt. I resent how much of my freedom is gone because of my love for her. I do not expect my kids will do the same for me.
I’m 80 and able to take care of myself, thankfully, but one of these days I may not be but I have lovely step children and a daughter and grand children that will see to it that I have whatever I need. I do know how fortunate I am!
I have two kids that don't talk to me! And I'm finding out that many parents are experiencing the same thing! The bible says this will happen in the last days. I Pray that God will intervene. 🙏
My heart goes out to you, Janice ♡♡♡ - the emotional turmoil this causes for a loving mother is beyond comprehension, unless experienced yourself... To me it feels like my heart is being torn out whilst alive & fully aware - And they couldn't care less about the pain they make me go through, for no reason... I fully agree with you that it must be related to love growing cold and people lacking natural affection, as Timothy predicted it for the last days... Nothing left for us to do but to learn how to rise above the pain & soar again, one day, despite the odds, by God's love & grace. Have a blessed holiday, much love in Christ Jesus ♡ MARANATHA, LORD JESUS.
Just stumbled on this and I guess we have a large group of people going through the same problem. My wife passed away just over 5 years ago. We have 3 children and they are approaching their 60's. I am 84 and live by myself. I am happy with where I am in life, but I feel like I have been put on a shelf to live out my life with infrequent contact with my kids. They have their own lives to live and I respect that. I also have grandchildren and great-grandchildren that I rarely see even though they live reasonably close. Seems that the closeness of family that once existed has been replaced by a more distant relationship.
I'm chronically ill. My children don't understand. My faith is everything to me now, and my last years will be used to grow closer to God, so what happens out in the world is of little consequence. Let them be who they will be. We have done our best. I will be at peace in the Lord.
@@smasome I'm sorry you are ill and feel that your children dont understand. Having peace with the Lord is wonderful to hear and I encourage you to hold on tight to that! I believe by letting go of the situation God will move and do what you aren't able to...your children will see The Light for themselves one day, just from the example you set. God Bless you @smasome.
God loaned us these children. To raise and what they do after a certain age that's up to them. But, I myself communicate through calls or text with them . Or we visit each other at times.I'm living my life to the fullest like it's my last day on Earth at age 69. I always make sure they have to communicate with me if coming to visit. Since I'm not sitting around to see if they answer or not. I love my adult children dearly. But,It does work both ways.
@@lornakurien7962 especially sons, girls stay with their parents - sons go to the wife’s family. My son and I were extremely close almost telepathically. His wife does not like me many people don’t like introverted people … I’ve been “misunderstood” all my life ….. never mind used to it now I like my own company and to be honest I p’d far rather be alone. I like me 😁
My 89 year old neighbor s only daughter closed his two bank accounts because he gave her power of attorney and now she hasn't talk to him in a year even blocked his calls . Neighbors has been feeding him , doctors , hospital. And company. So sad he still lives alone
I'm heart broken to learn aging parents are experiencing a high level of disrespect by their grown children. We just moved my momma into a full care senior's facility. We made sure she knew she was supported and loved. We visit her at least 3 times a week. I can't imagine abandoning her while she's so vulnerable. I will be praying for all of you, that you find love and support from good hearted people. Be kind to yourselves and lean on the Lord always 🙏🙏🙏
My daughter only texts when she wants something. She never brings my granddaughters to visit. And she tries to make me feel guilty if I don't go visit them. I have left everything to them in my will. But I plan on taking a second mortgage on my home. And enjoy myself by traveling to beautiful places.
She's emotionally blackmailing you" forcing you to do, what she wants. By with holding your grandchildren. Why, feel guilty about not visiting them. When it's been made abundantly clear, your not wanted. Traveling, sounds great. Enjoy yourself.
My problem with my daughter is “anything I say, she has something to say about it negatively”. If I say the sky is blue, she says it is red. I’ve had to learn to keep away. It hurts, and it’s lonely.
im having the same problem.. they call it narcissistic… its sad because my 3 beautiful grandkids hear her… when my husband her father , passed away, she came over took inventory and when i sold one of Our Classic cars , 1 of 6, she accused me of stealing her childrens legacy. im her mother. it killed me but …. her true colors are obvious. ✝️🙏🏻🕊️
@@VickieHisBelovedMy only daughter of 6..does the negative comments..or gives alternate explanations..as if you can't think for yourself! It is belittling.& yes narcissistic..or just plain 'one upmanship'..
I spent many biblical ceremonies alone. I understand Christmases or Easter is not about me. I'm to celebrate my LORD and God's plan for us to accept Jesus Christ for forgiveness and recieve Eternal life. Spread the Good News and weep for the last, orphans, widows. Help the poor and those who need help with housecleaning or meals. This is pleasing to God.
@ lots of elderly people are alone at Xmas unfortunately They have families but are not included through no fault of their own Lots of children don’t want the responsibility of them and leave it to strangers to step up Sad but true Talking to one today lady aged 89 gets a card that’s it 😞😞😞
Seeing this reminds me that I'm not the only one dealing with the hurt and disconnect. And that I shouldn't blame myself for their decisions, I was a good Mom, but I wasn't perfect. I refuse to give my power away! I will live the life I deserve!
Hi Janice, I used to feel like I was the problem. Put me in terrible depression. I cried my pain to God and asking to show me me my faults and see them thru His eyes. I found I am not a victim mentality bc I realize I wasn't awf.ul enough to have them be so dishonorable. Now my concern is them. Care that they won't need to be rebuked by God. They will correct themselves . I like myself which wasn't so far too long.
Most of my 6 children either live overseas or in other cities. The one who lives with me is psycologically abusive . I try to ask him for little as possible.
My son treats me dreadful. Worse he treats Jesus with contempt and hatred. The last time he was over like a year ago he was bullying my sweet small dog and squeezed my large dogs arm until she cried out. Needless to say I'll never have him over again.
Letting go emotionally doesn’t mean giving up on your children; it means releasing the burden of trying to control their actions or win their approval, freeing yourself to prioritize your well-being and happiness."
I agree. I've wasted so much time on hurt feelings over my children, when there was no need. They only want advice when it suits them, they only want to be available when wanting cash. So I've finally detached a fair bit and I give myself the care and concern that I should. Worrying and anxiety over their problems was dragging me to hell.
I pause to pray for all who are in the chat. May God keep you, protect you, and comfort you. May you live the rest of your elderly years with no regrets, plenty of joy, abundance of good health, peace of mind, and the love of God. Amen.
Let's start our own group, I am upstate NY, we can help each other if only to listen! Sad times after giving up so much so the kids would have a better life than we had only to be treated so poorly! Prayers to everyone!
LOVE this idea. I want to be of service and share all the love within my heart. Lord knows I'm blessed as well, but I rarely see my children or grandkids. It's heartbreaking to be rejected and criticized. I choose to look to God for I know HE cares for me and never fails. Prayer helps so much! It gets so hard during the holidays. I tell myself Trouble doesn't last always. I pray that God shall comfort us ALL and help us to comfort one another. 😂🎉😂 I'm in OKC.
I agree with you. I intend to pass my wealth onto whomever deserves it… which may or may NOT be all of my children. I love them all equally, but they are their own people now and some are more caring toward me than others. I am taking notes😅
@@Mike-v4c5l Hi. That's right. If the adults haven't "got their act together" they'll waste whatever they inherit. Leave it as a trust for the g.c.'s education. Saving seed for next year's crop. Cheers, P.R.
I relate to all this.I had 3 daughters, the eldest who I was close to died a year ago, the youngest is loving to us but the middle one has been rude and disrespectful for many years.I am 74 now and can't take it anymore so have opted out.Sometimes it is the only way to have peace.
Have you seen any videos on how kids can be, depending on their birth order? It is interesting and helped me to understand why my mom was that way. She was always 'secretly' resentful, although she loved her siblings. She was a middle child. When she told me how her name was chosen for her by her parents, so much in my life made sense! Her older sister got the doting on since she was the first child and named after their mother. Last child was a boy (finally since boys are more valued in a lot of cultures) and named after their father. My mom was like 'the spare' and given basically a male name with an 'a' at the end to be accepted as a female name. I had to admit to myself that it was really an ugly name. She hated it so much that she eventually legally changed it by cutting out the letters that made it masculine. I was an only child and it comes with its own set of weirdness. I knew because of my mom's culture that she always preferred that I would have been male. I always did well in everything, was a dutiful daughter, but I was never to be believed because 'what could I know about anything' because I was ONLY a female. The ridiculous thing is that I was trained in research skills, and did that as part of my career, but she never believed any facts I found for her and printed out as proof from trusted sources. What could I know... I was not male! So glad my Dad counteracted the damage she started to do and taught me everything he knew to succeed and be happy! I'll be 74 this year too. I had a girl and a boy 3 years apart and growing up I made it a point to treat each one the same, but there was still bickering between them when it came to everything not being fair... his piece of cake is bigger...bla bla bla. You had to outsmart them all the time (the older one cuts the slices and the younger one gets to pick which piece first). Eventually, they would both bicker about how unfair I was at the same time and favored the other child more, about stupid things. Brain fart finally blew in my mind and I just pointed out that if they both felt I was being unfair and siding with their sibling, then that means I was being perfectly fair to both of them at the same time! That was the LAST time I ever had to deal with that nonsense! Yes, some strategies work.
Hi it's very bad if kids ignore you for no reason to me I left my mom because she is toxic but was never like that before she gossips with her rich daughter about every other child who is poor so I gave her a chance and started talking to her then a period of ignoring her then she came back gave her another she speaks to my rich sis about everything I post on the status which doesn't concern her and I said enough no serious talks from now on I send her money sometimes I greet her but am now wiser
I am ignored by my two sons. We were separated by political beliefs and I didn't support the covid bs nor take the kool-aid. I am happy living alone and in a foreign country. I have a couple of good friends that share my beliefs. I love myself and love my family.
Same here, no covid shot for me. My daughter was a kind thoughtful and loving person until she spent two weeks with her liberal in-laws. She came back so hateful,argumentative & insensitive and still is the same. Even her husband said he came back from deployment and she’s changed, I told him to talk to his parents about that. She thought Biden was the most classy president ever. . . .I never argued with her on that but let time show her and it has. Now she’s depressed and suicidal because Kamala lost and her dog died. If she would just open her heart to Jesus again, she would see the light. I’m praying she will but my granddaughter loves Jesus and that makes me happy. Both of my daughters are disrespecting and do not include me in anything, unless they are at war with each other, then I get along with each of them. So I believe they feed negatively with each other. Neither were raised with abuse, no alcohol, or divorce. But they have misplaced memories, like they said they had bikes but they had scooters, so I’m a terrible mom because I can’t remember they had bikes. My husband said if they had bikes, he would have spent his time picking them up all over the yard but he picked up scooters. I don’t understand these invented memories and if I remember differently, I’m the terrible one.
It is what it is. I'm not going to beg for their love and respect. Disappointed and hurt in how uncaring and worthless I've become to them. I'm irrelevant. 💔😥
It does hurt very deeply but YOU are not irrelevant. Pray & ask forgiveness on their behalf. God loves you with an everlasting love & desires you to speak to him of your sorrows. God bless & strengthen you.❤❤❤
Is anything causing tension? Sure, i was as imperfect as they are. Parents spend many sleepless nights, loads of sickness and giving to them, and doing without. They dont remember any of that. Only the mistakes you made or what bothered them . I'll tell you there was plenty that bothered me about the, but i loved them, and the terrible twos and the teen age tears passed. I grew, too. Its not my fault that they choose to disrespect and not love. The first thing they do when they can't face what they've done or what parents have done or percieved to have done, , no communications not a thing with these selfish people, nope. They pull the grandchildren away from you. I can̈ot explain the hurt, cruel torment this has caused, but i can't keep surviving like this. Over and over again so I chose not to allow them to do it again. I walked away and chose peace. I did forgive them and bless them. At a distance. I just cant do it again.
This is a massive trend... Adult kids going No Contact with parents, WITHOUT fair efforts to table and collaborate to heal connection issues before severing ties. And many will actually cycle back in our lives if they think we can be of use to them, such as if they are struggling financially or with childcare- but then as soon as we fail to meet their expectations or have differences of perspective (as can happen in any relations given different experiences), we are painfully devalued and discarded again! There is no willingness to use the mature soft skills to make an effort to work through to better mutual understandings and ways forward... Even when we are willing to do individual and family therapy. ... Just punitive, immature "Silent Treatment," "ghosting" us, or unfair shaming and blaming us- even with smear campaigns where they tell OTHERS their side but REFUSE to meet with us - even with professional neutral therapeutic supports- to air and repair things... I belong to some online groups for Estranged Parents, whose adult kids have put us through the Narcissistic/ Psychological Abusive cycles of Devaluation and Discard. In one international group, there are 80 THOUSAND members... Other groups are also in the thousands. Many, including professional psychologists and therapists, are noticing this IS a generational trend: • the deficit of soft skills, work ethics, and authentic self-awarenesss; • the preference to default to easy/ false-comfort feel-good addictive avoidant-dismissive "fixes" that don't really fix much; • screen-impacted and social media distorted and filtered degradation of interpersonal relations, including for communication; • sense of unearned entitlement, difficulty having the maturity to set aside unhelpful biases to try to understand others' perspectives, • increased use of Narcissistic traits and tactics, and that adult children who were never abused are using claims akin to such trauma to justify their choices. This last one is a huge injustice to those who have survived child abuse and severe neglect traumas- including from what many in our own generations have lifelong C-PTSD. These younger generations are trending a "Cancel Culture" that is immature and deployed in many aspects of their lives: • work: "Quiet Quitting" • friendships & dating: "ghosting" • online: vicious anonymous "trolling" &/ or cyber-bullying • weaponising or twisting positives or narratives. Now, as many start to parent teens of their own, often with children they weaponised with their own parents, they are now finding themselves in disconnect with THEIR kids- and somehow some are STILL blaming US for THIS too- when THEY cut us out of the picture long ago! This breakdown and devaluation of family and intergenerational connections is an evolutionary tragedy it seems. Ancient and Aboriginal cultures used to revere all ages and stages, with Elders holding a special reservoir of caring and wisdom to all the other generations, as well as connection to heritage, cultural, and familial roots. Strong roots are strong foundations that help us hold together through storms and shifts in life. Like so many, I loved getting to be a parent, and strived to give so much better than I had... I NEVER imagined I could end up hated and unwanted by those I loved and helped most! I looked forward to cheering on life milestones, or being supportive as needed, and to being an involved grandparent. I HAVE done a lot of therapy work and soul-searching... And as a parent, I was constantly seeking learning opportunities to grow and do better then, too. Therapy fields themselves have evolved a lot, and unfortunately, some therapists even ENCOURAGED this No Contact trend over FIRST offering supports to attempt to work things through prior! I do not see how the "trending" unwillingness to invest in authentic healthy growth personally and in key relationships can serve them, or our societies and evolution well... This is another whole type of generational traumas unfolding! I pray to let go and let God, plus, sometimes when the hurt or upset churns. I pray for help to transmute the pain to more uplifting experiences, feelings, and connections. I am slowly rebuilding a life where, this time, I am now no longer willing to invest my energies and resources where authentic WELL-BEING is not MUTUALLY valued. The thing is, most PETS can meet this bar, so I now realise that it IS reasonable for me to expect that from other adults in my life. I no longer hold out hope for reunion in this life, but do know that on a Soul level, their souls and ours will share love that matters- I was not perfect, but I sincerely loved and strived to be a better parent... Our Souls and The Creator know our Truths. I wish you all a gentle holidays and much self-valuing peace and authentic decent connections- especially with your/ our own selves, in valuing of well-being which I know most pets, connecting with Nature, and with the Divine offer us. 🙏💞☯️🌌💜
@sarahcinnamonthriving9563 Thank you for this. Encouragement validation is comforting, but my heart misses them. And, you're correct, I have been allowed back only to have been used and when they're done tossed aside. The funny thing is that although I believe we are to forgive each time, and after the initial shock and hurt, I do . But once allowed into their lives, they do it again and pull their love from me and the children. Here's the ultimate hurt, God said they will reap what they've sown. They will suffer this, and I wouldn't wish this kind of anguish on anyone. But I'm not in charge. I've begged God not to and there's scripture that says we'd be begging God not to discipline or punishment them but He says He is not one to be mocked, what ever you sew you shall reap. They're hurting themselves. And God has said that if you teach a child to do wrong, it would be better for you if a mill stone would be tied around your neck and thrown into the sea. Using the children as weapons to hurt you is bad enough, but teaching them not to speak to you, even the grown ones who have moved out, is without conscience. I hurt for all those who are treated like this but know that this behavior is in the bible. It says that hear the end that children will be disrespectful and unthankful, turning against their parents. So my advice is to lovingly pray for them. God loves you, Jesus died for you, and He'll make everything right.
I grew up with " honor thy mother and father ", "respect your elders", " treat others how you want to be treated", " respect is earned not given", and a few others, im so very appreciative instilling these values when i was young, and keeping them in my heart all these years. ♥️🙏
As I've aged in my late 60's I went to my lawyers and prepared for my time when it comes.i wrote in my will I did not want to go to a home,after seeing how many elders were mistreated.Both my kids 1 son and 1daughter when I told them said yes you will😮 I said oh no I won't I will stay in my home and will hire a live in care giver paying well to be looked after! And that not till the day I die after all bills funeral etc and leaving all my grandkids and great grandkids part of my Will, my 2 children can have what's left over.The thought they both said defying me I'd go to a home I maid sure in my Will I would not! It hurt me to hear them say that😢 I've had a very rough childhood,the loss of my husband and Mother and father and 4 of my siblings.I stood strong! And will continue to stand strong to the day my time comes.Even my funeral arrangements 😊 have been made.I suggest all elders keep this in Mind,we may be old,but we have rights! Never forget that ❤
As a stepfather I'm experiencing this same issue. Already doing some of what your suggesting. Had enough. I'm moving on and letting it go. I'm 81 and I'm gonna enjoy what time I have left.
I am 85. My 2 children ignore me. I live with my unmarried daughter. I am expected to do all the cooking and houdehold chores. No helo from her. I have jowhere else to go. Ky daughter in law has so influenced my son. He is not allowed to get in tough with me. He does contact me now and again on the quiet. I haven't been feeling well for a while now. They just don't care. . I will try and follow the advise from this video. I don't complain to them about my health , they just ignore me. So sorry to read in the comments that this situation affects so many elderly. 😢😢
I am 75 and have stopped letting my children's behaviour affect me. I was a single parent (divorce) and my son when younger put he through the ringer, with drugs, lies and kack of money but i continued to help him and baled him out with money and food and rent many a time(I don't have spare money) but i wanted to help to keep him safe . He is now clean, married with 2 daughters and has a good job. He doesn't want yo hear what I have to say on anything and can be quite aggressive verbally. I put it down to his earlier drug use. Young people of today are not happy with their lot, always wanting more, they should stop and think and consider the homeless on our streets and the war torn countries and should thank God for their own safe lives.
Hi Dorothy. You've been generous to a fault, and consequently taken for granted. Baby birds don't learn to fly until they've accepted they must flap their wings themselves. Some kids don't grow up until their parents are dead: they don't have to. Thanks for your honesty. Cheers, P.R.
Hi Dorothy. You have my sympathy. I don't think kids really grow up until their parents are gone. It's hard to move away from them when they need help, but sometimes it's the best thing we can do. "Give a man a fish, and he'll eat for a day. Teach him how to fish and he'll eat by his own hand for as long as he lives. I put a lot of our problems down to giving them too much unconditional love when they were well beyond the "baby" stage. Cheers, P.R.
@dorothyeaston33 I am going through the same thing. Or I should say went through the same. I told our son, I don't want to hear from him again until he's sober one year. Now he wrote us, that's it. After one year, I don't need you anymore. Ok then! I'm just tired of the constant drama, insults and late night calls when he's drunk or has another incident with the police. Not once, but many times. Now I'm to the point that I use my money for myself and bring joy to me. And I would like to retire one day, not bail my son or his girlfriend out of jail.
I was better than some parents and worse than others. But I'm done beating myself up over it. Life is good and now I try to live it the best way I can. Take care of today and tomorrow will be ok. We have a lot of freedom in our old age. Embrace it and enjoy it.
I’m in the same boat I doated on my kids, put up with their crazy dad and stayed in a very bad marriage only because my mom told me he would do more for my kids if he was in the home, the sacrifices I’m made to ensure they had a good life only to be repaid with them speaking to me crazy and disrespectfully. Im over the hurt but believe karma will repay. Thank u and happy holidays.
There's a God above he doesn't sleep or slumber.. They gonna answer for their sins and one day their children are gonna treat them the same way and see if they gonna like it😢😢it hurts I've been there and I know how it feels.
I haven't seen my two sons in 5 years, I pray for them everyday and wish only happiness for them. I will not curse them with karma because I love them and forgive them....this gives me great peace ❤
My younger sister & I made ourselves financially responsible for our mother at the age of 18 & 19 years old ; after we found our father at home with another woman. We both worked & went to school while taking care of our mother. We didn't get marry because we took care of our mother for 25 years ; until she died. She passed away when we were 43 & 44 years old. We both are working as caretakers. And had seen how old people are left alone not only holidays.But all year long by their relatives. We only have each other. We have nieces & nephews. But seeing how they treat their parents. We really don't expect nothing from them. So even though neither of us have any child ; I understand exactly how you all feel. Until today my sister & I don't regret giving our youth to our mother.
@marieholland8868 When my mother was in hospice care a cousin came from out of town to visit her. And when my cousin was about to exit our house to go back to hers ; she told me : God is going to bless you both for everything you did for my aunt. I answered back : " He already did. God has paid us in advance for taking care of our mother ; making both of us financially independent. God has blessed us very abundantly."
@janicet2101 Amen I told people that when I was a child ; I like to read a lot. I grew up in a small town. Even though my father reward me buying me books. Those books were not enough to satifice my convulsive reading. I did read the bible , I got when I made my 1st communion , several dozen of times. After reading repeatedly all the stories in the bible. I took one commandments very seriously. And that was honor your father & mother.
As my adult children married and started their own families, I was the one they called to babysit, watch and care for their kids and animals when on their vacation, they asked and I always said "YES" ! BOY EAS THAT A MISTAKE.
Both my Mom and Dad have passed . It was my GREAT HONOUR to be able to give back when they gave so much! I lost my Mom when I just started to be one myself 😢. I helped my Dad as much as I could my new daughter was a light 💡 to share . My Dad lived on to 95 and I was there with my three children daily either by phone or physically. What an honour they both gave so much love ❤️ which I am able to pass on to my children ! They have become wonderful adults giving caring and respectful to all! I am blessed however I was fortunate to have wonderful parents to give me a strong foundation! TG❤
My son, in no uncertain terms told me exactly how he feels about me. Which is negative and sad. It has caused me pain. But I have decided to live my life and be happy. You can’t depend on someone else for your happiness. If he comes around great. If not I plan things to do and projects to fill my time. My boundaries are set. He knows it. I won’t be verbally abused anymore.
If you don’t forgive you can’t move on. I’m 65 and live with my 90yo mother. I’m her “caretaker “. As she was for her mother. Her generation believes that children are responsible to care for their aging parents. I’m doing what I have to do. My daughter’s generation is completely different. She is selfish and self centered. I’m not counting on her for anything. I recently had pneumonia and she never called to check in on me. She gets nothing when I pass. Whatever is left goes to my grandsons.
My Sons can’t even talk like adults,,, I was a widowed mom in 1980 they abused me stole from me.. I gave them way too much and did not respect or care enough about me … I honestly don’t miss them I’m Damn happy they’re out of my life !
I was widowed in ¹975 left with my 3 n 5yo daughters. The oldest last seen in 2009 until this past summer when she had an accident that left her paralyzed on her left side n right arm amputated. She caused so much trouble for me in my family. She told me I should have aborted her. Now it's me that feels unconnected and the bond was broken years ago. Now my younger daughter is contemptuous of me. Said she won't be my taxi to visit her sister. She's 40 miles away n ignores me when I visit. I'm 77 and don't see as well these days.
My sons are very aware of me and I know that if I really needed them they would be here for me. I raised my sons to be independent and for them to be happy and find that person who loves them at least 3/4 as much as I. When you get your children to that point where they can use those WINGS you wanted for them then I for one know I succeeded in my parenting. They both have jobs, wife, children, and love God. Let them Fly they will fly back when they can. I gave 200% from the day they were all conceived. And I have peace knowing this. They know too. Gods plan. Always always include God and you will know what you do is the best you can do.
I have 3 stepsons, who stand to inherit everything I have. I rarely hear from them. They know my health is not the greatest, so sometimes I think they're just waiting around for me to kick the bucket. Never thought I'd be in this situation, but here I am.This year things will change on my end.
Give some thought to donating your assets or at least some of them to a good church that helps people including the elderly. God will bless you for it.
Who's suppose to help you when needed, if your children don't much, or can't. It's ok to have strangers help, or go live in a care center, very hurtful. As if we didn't protect them all those years we did.
Reading these comments make me VERY thankful for my siblings. None of us would forsake our parents. Our mother died tragically and suddenly at the age of 52, but she had a good relationship with most of us, and a brother with a personality disorder was at least respectful to her. In the case of our father, he was diagnosed with cancer. This same brother tended to him as he could (taking out garbage, chores around the house, etc.), our other brother sent us money for nursing care, and my sister and I put off job searches when we knew of his diagnosis and took care of him, his house, and his meals, until he died at home. It is incomprehensible to me that adult children would ignore their aging parents who raised them. I wouldn’t have wanted anyone else to care for them, either.
Thanks for your very helpful video being disrespected by my children a son and daughter is very hurtful I never imagined myself in this situation but it’s my painful reality I’m doing my best to cope and get along with living the best life for myself both my children live in another country and I don’t hear from them my sons indeferance and lack of communication has been going on for years because of this I have no contact with my grandchildren I’m in my late 70 tees and it’s looking like they will grow up without knowing me they don’t speak English which causes more problems my daughter does not contact me either I live alone I feel a sense of calm and freedom since I let go of expectations and of hoping or wishing for their love I don’t know what my future is going to be but I’m thinking I’ll make plans independantelly and just get along the best way I can life is short son I have no intention of letting them interfere with my happiness
I have three children ,I only see one . He is my first child .he and his wife and my granddaughter live with us .we get respect and it’s a joy having our granddaughter living with us . We do the school runs , and we know all her friends it’s great ❤
When my children ignored me, I just started my own life without them. Honestly, I feel better without them. There was always tension and disrespect on their part.
If my children ignore me or abandon me in my older years, I won't leave them a dime. I would will it to whoever helped me out. That would be my last life lesson to them .
Hi Cheryl. I strongly disagree. If you're abandoned, you should leave them exactly a dime. But if they show up like vultures at five-to-twelve (in your life), increase that to a dollar fifty. This is an ancient English practice called "cutting them off with a shilling". Cheers, P.R.
Please don't do that! You have to leave them a little bit, as little as $1. But if you say they don't get anything, I believe they get 25%. Happened to me and my brother. He's getting 25%, even though he was supposed to get nothing.
@@margritjones7934 Hi Cheryl and Margrit. Margrit's right. It's called "cutting them off with a shilling". It's usually done by leaving them a substantial but minor amount, say $10,000, but on condition that they do not contest the will. You must fully and truthfully write your reasons IN THE WILL for cutting them off so they hear them from YOUR LAWYER when he reads your will out. List any criminal convictions they have, especially for violence, and any time spent in prison. In a contest your last testament will be read to the court. A guilty child will be embarrassed, and court reporters love publishing scandals. Knowing their dreadful behaviour would be laid bare, chances are they'll take the small money and run. Please run this past your lawyer and get a qualified opinion. The kids will realize the wisdom of (Prov 17:1) "Better is a dry morsel and quietness therewith, than a full house with strife". "For justice to be done, it must be SEEN to be done". If you're partly at fault, that will be laid bare too. Old age is a naturally a lonely time, with too much time to build up resentments about the past. It depends totally on your honesty, nothing else. We do not own our children. As the poet Kahlil Gibran said, "your children are not your own, they are the product of life's longing for itself". I wish you all the best. Cheers, P.R.
"Thank you for this eye-opening video. 🌟 I’ve experienced this myself-when I turned 75, I noticed my children started focusing more on their own lives, and I often felt ignored. At first, it hurt deeply, but I realized staying calm and finding ways to focus on my own happiness made a huge difference. Your advice resonates so much with what I’ve learned over the years. Videos like this remind us that self-respect and inner peace are the key to a fulfilling life, no matter what. ❤👏"
Some will find my thought on the topic callous, but I firmly believe it. Much like myself, my children are separate ppl and we all have to live our own lives. I love my children very much but cannot lose my joy over being disrespected or ignored. It's called living and everyone lives their own way. I cannot force nor be continuously heart broken over theirs' or anyone else 's for that matter, actions. Hopefully the future will change with more positive narratives, but for now, it is what it is.
I agree with his comments. There are so many people that need love and companionship, friendship why get stuck with negativity. Life is to short and make your own happiness. If your children are that shallow it’s there choice to live that way. Do not buy into there problems, get out and live a full life of joy and happiness. It’s our book to write so make it happy.
We chose no kids, I keep in touch w parents that were harmful sometimes because of selfishness. For you loving caring parents out there, I love you and you can be my Mom n Dad😊💙
I have the best daughter, son, daughter in law, son in law, and 3 grandchildren and their spouses. They all there for me and my husband. I am 81 and he is 82 and we are so blessed. Have 3 great grandchildren and another due in May. Life has been good . God has blessed us beyond measure. We have married for 62 and 1/2 years. We are in better health than most older folks and still going strong. Thank you dear Jesus for all your blessings each day. From deep southeast Mississippi. ❤
I've got grandchildren who think i will be leaving them things. No, im leaving everything to my 2 children, then it's up to them if they want to share. The grandchildren don't give a ratsass about us anyway. As soon as each turned 18 we never heard from them again. Only see them if they happen to be at the parents when we are. Kids today have such a sense of entitlement.
There are several FB groups of parents who are estranged from their children. Many of us ended up that way because of painful divorces where the ex drove a wedge between the other parent and their children. Others ended up in this boat when their adult children started seeing therapists who told them to eliminate “toxic” people in their lives. Most of us can recite “toxic” interactions that happened in anger or arguments. That is just part of family. There were many good times, too: vacations, celebrations, attending cultural activities, supporting their activities and interests. Sometimes as parents we “nail” it and sometimes we flub it. That’s when you acknowledge it and apologize. But to completely go “no contact” (therapists’ words for it) is uncalled for, except, obviously, in cases of abuse or actual, serious toxicity. So, no, this is not an issue where we are alone. There are many, many of us wondering what the heck happened to cause this rift.
Agree. I a have a daughter who rents my house from me as I am currently working in another town. She couldn’t afford her apartment and I didn’t want the house empty. we have a rather large yard, and at the time her and her 17 year old son moved in we were paying to have the yard mowed. I told her we would pay for the service, but when summer arrived, he ( the yard care taker) doubled the price. Since I was only charging her half of the house payment, I assumed her son could mow. Boy was that a mistake. Now I am considered a toxic lying parent. She refuses to have anything to do with me, but still lives in my house. I am so over the attitude.
I was not a good father. I spent my entire career working all the overtime I could. I just wasn’t there for my 2 kids. I had no idea at the time how wrong that was. I guess now my son is getting even. He joined the army 15 years ago, and I haven’t seen him since. I don’t even know where he’s stationed. He is now married and has a 5 year old son that I’ve never seen. I’m so hurt, but I guess I deserve this. It’s true, what goes around comes around.
For goodness sake, don’t be that hard on yourself. You did the best you could at the time…none of us are perfect at parenting…it’s a learn as you go on the job! If you would have known better, you would have done better. Be kind to yourself and others…forgive your past failings and know that in the days you have ahead act on new insights and knowledge. It’s your life right now to do the best you can with the days you have left on this glorious earth. Blessings and be kind to yourself.
We did the best we knew and you might have thought that providing financially for your family and making sure they had what they needed was important to you. Think of the alternative father who is lazy and his kids go to bed hungry in a hovel. You did fine and there is not anything you can do (other than talk to your kids about your mindset then) and only if you want to. It does not help to dwell on what we could or should have done years ago.
You did what you had to do to put food on the table and all the niceties they had growing up! If they are not mature enough to see that, it’s their loss. For what’s worth, I was a stay at home mom for 8 years of my son’s life and after which, I had to get a job . Then, I spent every moments in my waking hours with him after my job… still he treats me like dirt now. I just moved myself out of where he lives to another town to start my new life, am looking forward to a new year. I am going to enjoy whatever is left of my time with or without him. If he ever wants me in his life, it is going to be on my terms!🤨
I salute u. At least u admitted ur mistakes. My dad died, never asking us for our forgiveness for the abuse towards us and his wife our mom. 🙏 Btw. I'm going through the same with my adult son. It really hurts. 😢
I think it’s wonderful that you realized your part in the estrangement. I did as well, apologized, and everything is wonderful. I recommend reading Dr. Joseph Coles book ‘Rules of Estrangement.” I believe it could help you a lot. God Bless.
What a beautiful and powerful perspective! It's amazing how turning to God as the source of true joy can bring such peace and clarity. Letting go of expectations and trusting in God's plan can transform how we view our circumstances. It’s inspiring to hear how you’ve found peace and fulfillment, even in moments of solitude. Thank you for sharing this uplifting message-it's a reminder that trust and faith lead to a joy that transcends everything. The best is indeed yet to come!
My son stopoed communicating because he disliked Trump & ASSUMED I voted for him. Began to warm during Biden years, but stopped when Trump elected again. Still has not tried to discuss his or my political position. My other children are somewhat neutral, but remain close to their brother. P.S. I AM NOT A TRUMP FAN.
I have 2 adult sons who have chosen to sever their ties to me and their 3 brothers. But I chose to forgive them 70 x 7 according to the Bible helps me to live my best life because of God's Love. I can forgive because God forgives me. My sons made their choice to not be part of this family. They have to face God some day b/c the commandment to Honor thy father / mother should not be broken. The Bible speaks to families being divided in the Last Days.
I find a few do gooders on here who think us parents should suck up whatever crap is thrown at us. No walk away I say, we are human beings and should be treated well. Do as you would by done by.
My heart, like yours, is broken. My prayer is that God will intervene and bring back your loved one into a loving relationship. He called us to love unconditionally-not just the good times. As long as you have breath, there is hope.❤
It is heartbreaking to be ignored by our children, but I continue to try and make contact with them. I pray they'll let me back in their lives. Never stop loving them. I can't!
I think it is a commentary on our society. I grew up when you respected your parents and your grandparents you made sure that you were available to them and help them if you could. Families counted on each other Our society is also become a throwaway society for older people. I hear so often that retirement homes assisted living and other facilities are just considered waiting rooms for the person to die. Our children and grandchildren have been raised in a world of self-indulgence self-centeredness and selfishness... Even if you tried and even if you were some of the best parents or grandparents. Society especially with social media has had such a horrible effect on our children and grandchildren... They have been so brainwashed and enticed that they don't understand what they've lost.
I think it’s important to remember that they are in the very active years and have a boatload of issues they are dealing with. They could have financial issues, work stress, stress from raising their children in this world , marriage issues , fear for the future or could be dealing with age related health issues themselves. Give them a break. Expect nothing and be encouraging. Build your own life and be available to them should they need a listening ear.
Oh I'm sorry, you mean all the same issues we had to deal with while raising THEM AND taking care of our aging parents. In addition to loved ones that went to war in desert storm. You keep coddling, I hope that works out for you.
How many "give them a break" do you suggest. Of course the majority have been given breaks time and time again from good parents. Despite that, the disrespectful continues. Parents try everything to correct matters and give everything they possibly can. Yet, disregard continues and eventually you have to consider other courses of action just to protect yourself from this diabolical destructive behaviour.
I focus on myself after decades of physical and emotional abuse at the hands of my only child. I tried everything to keep contact but after years of abuse, i only send a short email about once a month letting him know any news about his friends still in the town. He doesnt keep contact with them either. 2 years ago he needed some of my documents so he could apply for a passport. I helped him. He sent an email saying thank you. I havent had one since. I know hes alive and well. He knows it hurts me when he ignores mothers day and Christmas and my birthday. I think he enjoys it. I also suspect that I have grandchildren ive never been told.
Sending notes about what others are doing will be seen as comparing them to him. He doesn’t care how they are or he’d be in touch with them. Everything we do can be taken wrong. Just stop contact . If he’s interested he’ll contact you. It’s difficult but it is part of modern life. They owe us nothing.
I cannot imagine doing this to my parents. I moved to the other side of the world 5 years ago to take care of my mum who has Alzheimers. My dad now has macular degeneration. There is no way I could live so far away from them even though I have two siblings very close to them, one who helps out tremendously. I gave up a lot for them but with no regrets as they gave us so much in return. I here this is a very common occurrence but thank God amongst my family and friends we take care and honour our elderly.
I would want the elderly to come together more and support each other. Depending on our adult children and grandchildren to fulfill our relationship needs is not sustainable or realistic. They have their lives, too. We need to be vulnerable with each other and not project a facade of a perfect family. It’s pride, I think.
It’s okay you have two of you to love ❤️ and care each other do you know some old couples don’t talk to. Each other at that age ? Be happy you have each other
There is a solution for all these problems of children getting alienated or keeping away from you emotionally. All these pain come from too much of attachment towards your children. Of course being parents you will have definitely attachment towards your children. But let this be attachment with detachment. You will not get hurt. Being grown ups they have their own way of looking at things even handling their relationship with their parents. Let's remain cool and as you said let's not lose our self respect and dignity. Let's not bother too much about it because we have our own life to live. So the mantra is attachment with detachment. 👍
Re. Being too busy. Spend money on yourself. Make cash arrangements for your future. .not his etc . Remeber allthe good things. Compliments you get . Put yourself first. We did out bit good luck
I am 77 and my son cut off communication with me over 2 years ago. I don’t even know who he is any more so I don’t miss him. He need encouraged my grandsons to stay in touch with me, so those family ties are gone as well. I was a single mother and did so much for them through the years. But I will not be disrespected or not treated with gratitude. So here we are.
Our joy do not depend on what our children does because time changes everything as we grow older everyone grows old age is not for just one person father grew old mother also grew old the children also grows old the important thing is to use the word of God
I dont hear from my children. They don't recognize my Birthday or Mother's day. I don't see the grandkids unless i seek them out. I think back to giving up my time and even good jobs to take care of them and involve them in all kinds of activities. Sad...but i love and pray for them.❤😢
While I am on good terms with my son, I expect nothing. He skypes with me every Sunday morning. We enjoy our visits. But we live in different states and we rarely see each other. I am 86 and don’t travel. He is 67, has MS and traveling is hard on him. We’ve had our issues over the years, I believe we are in the places we should be. I choose how social I want to be with others. I quilt and sew and it keeps me busy.
No contact for years from family or kids. Turned into the most peaceful and wonderful time in life. No nothing but positive in my life. Freedom is unbelievably the most positive place to be in. Only positive flows into my day. No regret. Never looked back. Life becomes what you loved before all the intrusive behavior. Back to mind thoughts when in my 20s. Life is free, wonderful, guilt free, and more beautiful. Now i have a life, mine, a real life. Never should have waited this long. ❤celebrate every day, best choice ever...❤
Arrangements before Christmas my son wanted me to change when spending money on baking items and baking are time consuming. He knows I go to church every Christmas Eve. I am not going to let my Christmas be upset after all I did tell him I can come another time. He keeps texting or calling wanting me to change. Next year I'm not dragging Christmas presents and bake goods to his place. I don't need to climb up lots of stairs and all. Christmas is our Saviors birth and I like to relax. Oh by the way I said I can come another time... his girlfriends daughter is having surgery Christmas Eve. So I've supposed to change my plans.
@@lornakurien7962isn't living selfishly the crux of this video, probably not the best advice however, if you have a ritual that you live by during the holiday season that you are happy in, continue on with it because your son is well aware of it. You did offer to come another time and that is your best offer.
It helps to know I'm not the only parent dealing with these issues. I've had a lonely walk in this regard. No contact with my since my Mom passed away over 10 years ago. There's a lot of issues and I made some big mistakes so I understand where he's coming from. It's still hard. I hope to reconcile at some point
After being out of the country for two years, I asked my son if my grandsons could come and visit me for a week. I mentioned going to a couple of places that I had taken him to at their ages. He said that “we’d talk about it” which sounded positive. I called him a couple of weeks later and he did not answer my call then or since; it has been almost two years since that conversation and four years since I have seen my grandchildren. I envy everyone who can see their grandchildren. Someday my son and his wife will discover the pain they have caused me.
I gave everything I had to my daughter trusting her she only wanted more but when I couldn't give any more money she dropped me like a unwanted dirt I tried to get in touch at least for Christmas but she blocked me on the phone I have no hatred my mistake my destiny ty Jay from RUclips
Get involved in church, helping others, sometimes others are better to us than our own families. I praise God for my blood brothers and sisters and my church brothers and sisters.
My son told me that if and when I get sick he would not take me to dr appointments or get groceries for me he said he didn't want to feel that he has to do these to inherit what I have. So I waited a year and thought about it then I went to my lawyer and changed my will and left him and his wife nothing. 😅😅pay back now he doesn't have to worry about inheriting what I have
Good for you.
You are not alone.
Excellent..what a cheek he had.I would have done the same.😊
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. Toughlove
While I understand the hurt and you doing that. I have a question, are you trying to get even and hurt Him from the gravy? If so, that is very sad and you have NO ideal how that will hurt!!?😢😢😢😢
I wasn't perfect, but I was a good mother. My children always came first and got what they wanted. When my two daughters got older they treated me like crap and criticized everything I said. I loved them both but I finally gave up. They don't call or bother with me since they are both living in a different state. I just gave up trying and quit calling them since they don't bother to call me. I know they will say I stopped calling them. It's always my fault and i finally decided to worry about me and just take care of me and be happy for me.
@dolphin19521 - I can relate to your frustration with your children. I have one daughter who’s 44 years old now. We were always close, at least I thought we were. I’m disabled and completely on my own. She won’t even text or call to check on me yet she is upset with me. If I didn’t have a relationship with Jesus I know I wouldn’t have been able to endure the past few decades because I would have completely given up and succumbed to my anguish… it’s been that difficult. If it’s alright with you I’d like to pray for you as well. My name is Lisa and I live in Central Kentucky.
All the best to you
I’m sorry to hear that. It must be hard
I know this well! We have Jesus to see us through.❤
@@dolphin19521 that is so sad . Some children become so hurtful and treat parents shamefully. Please take care of yourself, you are important and know that God sees everything. He knows our tears and heartache. Just look up to him and trust Him always. Thinking of you ♥️♥️
My children are so good to me. I thank God daily for them. I am 92 and unhealthy. My son and his wife are doing so much for me. I am blessed.
Yes, you are blessed!
You have a beautiful garden that you nutured and now enjoy because of your care and love as a wonderful mother.❤
@@etheljanefontenot2970 you are truly blessed. So happy for you ❤️❤️
@etheljanefontenot2970 you are very blessed!
@@etheljanefontenot2970 lucky you!
@@hi2ca2fl11 Many a wonderful mother is not so fortunate why are they not blessed???
I was watching the movie called "War Room" In the movie she says this: "My joy doesn't come from my husband, or my job or children. My joy comes from the Lord." When I decided to look to God as my source of true joy it changed everything for me. I no longer spend time being sad because my son doesn't call or visit. I trust that God will supply all my needs and he has. God will set the solitary in families. I'm alone but I'm not lonely. I've found a peace that passes all understanding. It all happened when I let go of what I thought should be and embraced what God had for me. God does not disappoint. The best is yet to come!!
Thanks for sharing this awesome advice!
Same here. Jesus is the reason I have Joy in my heart. I put all my trust in Him and He never fails. Our children may fail us but Jesus never will. I'm 78. The Joy He puts in my heart is real and better than life itself. I pray He will give all of you peace and joy in your hearts. Don't look to people or others including our children to satisfy our need to be loved. No one loves you more than Jesus. Read your Bible and His perfect peace will comfort your hurting hearts. John 3:16
AMEN…..PRAISE GOD!
there are a lot of lonely people near us and far away in our travels…….i love to reach out to them and share God’s love and forgiveness with them…..it has been AMAZING!
Amen!
I am a lonely 66 yrs old woman, I love my kids so much and gave my life to them but as they're grown now no one remember me when I was very sick I was dying by myself at home but only when I give presents they're happy with me I feel I've been used not loved, the only real love I find comes from jesus my lord and saver, thank you God 😢🙏🙏🙏
I am 78 and fully understand everyone who is hurting. Friends, we are living in the last days and the Bible talks about children disrespecting their parents and love growing cold. Put your faith and trust in God and pray for your lost children because the enemy of God seeks to devour and destroy all God's children. We can be angry and not let that anger make us ill if we give our children to God and release our pain to Jesus. For Jesus is the healer of broken hearts. He is the reason I can exist. His love is perfect and He will see us through the heart ache of our children not respecting us. God bless and put your trust in Jesus because He truly loves you and me. I have a dog and God loves me through her. She can't wait until I wake up each morning with excitement. Get a pet and hang out with God. He never fails. Sending you all some hugs and love. In Jesus name. Give Him a try.
Thank you. Beautifully said.
Amen! Exactly what the Bible predicted.
2 Timothy 3:1-5
New International Version
3 But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. 2 People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, 3 without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, 4 treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God- 5 having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with such people.
Amen and Amen
Did you also heed the dictate to not anger your children?
I was feeling sad, until i read this. My Son was so disrespectful, it hurts. He hasnt called or texted. I will leave it at that. Go on living well, is the best revenge.
My kids still do not phone often, but that's fine with me. After they first moved out on their own I was a little hurt that they did not phone often but then clued in that adult kids can be a bit self-absorbed and forget about other people's feelings. They can be busy with their friends or jobs and if we look at it in a way that they are just clueless that they are hurting us, then it can make sense that they do not contact us often. Some are immature and have not known what it is like to be ignored, so they really just don't get it!
If at the end of the day I will put whatever I've worked for I don't care
My son didn't speak to wish me Merry Christmas he sent a text instead, which I have ignored. My daughter and her fiance phoned me and sang Merry Christmas and also left it as a recorded message.
@@islandgal500I look back on my life and see I wasn't
always there for my mother being busy with young children and a job, but I was never unkind. It was me who she called for on her death bed.
Keep on going Lorna... you are not alone... 😊
Wow, thanks Jesus for sending me this. The worst is when they keep the Grands away.
@@parcillalucas3370 isn't it? I miss my grand babies so much
If children are disrespectful, I say you back away and don’t contact them. Let them be the ones stand up for yourself. No one deserves disrespect.
That's what I do now and then when they feel guilty and do reach out, I find I have nothing to talk about and I close the FC onversation. I don't jump to reply anymore. In fact, I am at the point of blocking ft hem for a bit. I would never have bought of hurting my parents the way they have me. It is sad.
@@jenniferrevilla5298 I did that and they changed their phone number and called me. When I got the first call from my son I asked if he was a telemarketer and hung up. He called back and said Mom it's me.
Agreed .... it's all too common these days. Mine are equally left out of my will based on demonstrated behavior's.
It seems very prevalent today!!
@@jenniferrevilla5298I stand with you dear. I won’t speak to the ingrate I birthed. To call her daughter makes me gag. She not only is disrespectful. She allowed another member of the family to beat me up. I cannot say anymore.
I am no longer a mother to a 40-year-old Monster
I didn’t realise there are so many of us. You will all be in my prayers going forward 🙏
I can’t voice to my adult daughter when I feel bad because of something she either did or didn’t do. I’m not allowed to FEEL at all, and when I do, she punishes me by first telling me I’m toxic, and then not talking to me. I can’t win for losing.
@@M.SforzaSame here My daughter has a lot of guilt and takes it out on me I have cancer never hear from her now I’m over it 😢
There are millions of parents estranged from their adult children. Millions ! Read Joshua Coleman's book " Rules of Estrangement: Why Adult Children Cut Ties and How to Handle the Conflict."
@NoelineHobbs
So sorry to hear this.
Neither did I.
I thought it was just happening to us.
This is the 2nd christmas without my son, his wife and my 3 grandchildren. February, it'll be 2 years since I've seen any of them. They live 20 minutes away.😢 it breaks my heart.
I am in the same exact position. I am sorry that you are too. It's very painful.
We have 2 sons whom we dedicated our lives to raising them, 9 years ago my youngest son he informed us he wanted no contact with us in anyway. I still tried to reach out. But no answer to phone calls no emails nothing. It has been like a death. But the article is exactly what I’m trying to focus on. I’m 78 and finally can focus on my life.
Ronniesgirl - same here, except I see my son & his family maybe twice a year and mostly because they want something.
Why?
@@heatherlowe3698. People love you
So as a 74 year old disabled vet I am not the only one who suffers from this, LoL? I know it's not funny, but more ironic in a sense. To all of us parents I salute us all for what we have sacrificed for our kids only to cop this nonsense in return.
Merry Christmas and thank you for serving for our country!
@brendareed5050 Thanks Brenda. As an Australian major with the small ANZAC detachment in 1982-83 I was attached to the US-funded Multinational Force & Observers (MFO). It is smaller now, but still in place in the Sinai between Egypt and Israel. Google it. Presently, it is commanded by an Australian major general. I was on the Liaison staff. I was often in Israel, the West Bank and Gaza. The Israelis were killing the Palestinians and stealing their land back then. No one believed me when I returned to Australia. We multinational officers on the Liaison staff all went there pro-Israel due to the propaganda we had received over the years. We left despising what the Israelis were doing. I came from a faraway country, Australia. I am not a Jew or a Moslem. This was my impartial eye witness. I have been to over 50 countries and lived and worked in many in my role as an international management consultant. I have never experienced people as ruthless and aggressive as I did in Israel. Cheers. Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
A blessed Christmas & much happiness in the coming years,❤❤❤
@@jothompson1903Thank you for your best wishes and the same to you.
❤ no you are not the only one, if I could leave everything to my cats I would😊
It is sad so many elderly are treated badly by their children. Both my sons gonout of their way to help me. My eldest does my grocery shopping and makes my breakfast., brings my mail and makescsure i have something i can fix for dinner, and before he goes home always asks if there is anything else i need. My youngest also cooks sometimes, he lives with me and is always kind. I did not realize how fortunate i am, though i have always expressed appreciation for everything they do. I feel so blessed and loved. Iwill pray for all of those who have children who dont take care of them when they get old. I am 80. God bless all of you.
You are extremely fortunate. You have kids with conscience. Still, though you are not aware of it, they are going out of their way for you, and on some level this is an intrusion on their lives. If they don’t resent you, you are indeed lucky. If they have their own lives with families , they truly respect and love you, but they are going out of their way. Be grateful as possible. I’m 74 and taking care of 101 year old aunt. I resent how much of my freedom is gone because of my love for her. I do not expect my kids will do the same for me.
I’m 80 and able to take care of myself, thankfully, but one of these days I may not be but I have lovely step children and a daughter and grand children that will see to it that I have whatever I need. I do know how fortunate I am!
You are blessed!🙏🏻
Thank you!
❤❤
I have two kids that don't talk to me! And I'm finding out that many parents are experiencing the same thing! The bible says this will happen in the last days. I Pray that God will intervene. 🙏
Same here.
@donnaleveron5711 I'm so sorry, I feel your pain. Just Pray like I do that God will heal these relationships! 🙏 It's all we can do.
My heart goes out to you, Janice ♡♡♡
- the emotional turmoil this causes for a loving mother
is beyond comprehension,
unless experienced yourself...
To me it feels
like my heart is being torn out
whilst alive & fully aware -
And they couldn't care less
about the pain
they make me go through,
for no reason...
I fully agree with you
that it must be related
to love growing cold
and people lacking natural affection,
as Timothy predicted it
for the last days...
Nothing left for us to do
but to learn how to rise above the pain & soar again, one day,
despite the odds,
by God's love & grace.
Have a blessed holiday,
much love in Christ Jesus ♡
MARANATHA, LORD JESUS.
So true
@raffaelaperez6633 Thank you for your concern.💕
Just stumbled on this and I guess we have a large group of people going through the same problem. My wife passed away just over 5 years ago. We have 3 children and they are approaching their 60's. I am 84 and live by myself. I am happy with where I am in life, but I feel like I have been put on a shelf to live out my life with infrequent contact with my kids. They have their own lives to live and I respect that. I also have grandchildren and great-grandchildren that I rarely see even though they live reasonably close. Seems that the closeness of family that once existed has been replaced by a more distant relationship.
And technology.
I'm with you on that @dery. All you say is true. A spare part now. Widow for 8 years. Try to keep channels open. Difficult.
I'm chronically ill. My children don't understand. My faith is everything to me now, and my last years will be used to grow closer to God, so what happens out in the world is of little consequence. Let them be who they will be. We have done our best. I will be at peace in the Lord.
❤
@@smasome I'm sorry you are ill and feel that your children dont understand. Having peace with the Lord is wonderful to hear and I encourage you to hold on tight to that! I believe by letting go of the situation God will move and do what you aren't able to...your children will see The Light for themselves one day, just from the example you set. God Bless you @smasome.
I heard children have been rented to us for a short time, they are not ours to keep. So let them fly away. Go on living like a Queen.
God loaned us these children. To raise and what they do after a certain age that's up to them. But, I myself communicate through calls or text with them . Or we visit each other at times.I'm living my life to the fullest like it's my last day on Earth at age 69. I always make sure they have to communicate with me if coming to visit. Since I'm not sitting around to see if they answer or not. I love my adult children dearly. But,It does work both ways.
What a lovely saying. I’ll remember this.
@@lornakurien7962 especially sons, girls stay with their parents - sons go to the wife’s family. My son and I were extremely close almost telepathically. His wife does not like me many people don’t like introverted people … I’ve been “misunderstood” all my life ….. never mind used to it now I like my own company and to be honest I p’d far rather be alone. I like me 😁
Khalil Gibran : “ your children are not your children, they come through your, not from you “.
@@fredflinstone6601Then why do they look like us, if they aren’t from us. 🤷🏼♀️😊
I am so shocked and saddened at how many seniors are being mistreated by their grown adults. This is such a selfish decision.
@@brendareed5050 don't be shocked. Many of this generation is all about ME!
My 89 year old neighbor s only daughter closed his two bank accounts because he gave her power of attorney and now she hasn't talk to him in a year even blocked his calls . Neighbors has been feeding him , doctors , hospital. And company. So sad he still lives alone
@@teresaluther9416
He should get the law involved!
How dare her!!
@@teresaluther9416 contact medical services for support. Sounds like he needs an advocate, could be you
@@teresaluther9416That is elder abuse: a felony. He needs a lawyer.
I'm heart broken to learn aging parents are experiencing a high level of disrespect by their grown children. We just moved my momma into a full care senior's facility. We made sure she knew she was supported and loved. We visit her at least 3 times a week. I can't imagine abandoning her while she's so vulnerable. I will be praying for all of you, that you find love and support from good hearted people. Be kind to yourselves and lean on the Lord always 🙏🙏🙏
My daughter only texts when she wants something. She never brings my granddaughters to visit. And she tries to make me feel guilty if I don't go visit them. I have left everything to them in my will. But I plan on taking a second mortgage on my home. And enjoy myself by traveling to beautiful places.
Same hrte
My son is the same. I am going to sell out and go overseas. When he wants to borrow money I will be hard to find. 😢
Thinking same idea
love from Australia
What a great idea.
She's emotionally blackmailing you" forcing you to do, what she wants. By with holding your grandchildren. Why, feel guilty about not visiting them. When it's been made abundantly clear, your not wanted. Traveling, sounds great. Enjoy yourself.
My problem with my daughter is “anything I say, she has something to say about it negatively”. If I say the sky is blue, she says it is red. I’ve had to learn to keep away. It hurts, and it’s lonely.
im having the same problem.. they call it narcissistic… its sad because my 3 beautiful grandkids hear her… when my husband her father , passed away, she came over took inventory and when i sold one of Our Classic cars , 1 of 6, she accused me of stealing her childrens legacy. im her mother. it killed me but …. her true colors are obvious. ✝️🙏🏻🕊️
@@VickieHisBelovedsell the rest and move away.
@@VickieHisBelovedMy only daughter of 6..does the negative comments..or gives alternate explanations..as if you can't think for yourself! It is belittling.& yes narcissistic..or just plain 'one upmanship'..
Understood, ignore it!
I try to focus on what we have in common. Ignore the differences and respect boundaries
I speand christmas day on my own now. Fed up of being the token granny and not being spoken too. I like it 🙂
I’m not even invited!
Me either 🙄
I spent many biblical ceremonies alone. I understand Christmases or Easter is not about me. I'm to celebrate my LORD and God's plan for us to accept Jesus Christ for forgiveness and recieve Eternal life. Spread the Good News
and weep for the last, orphans, widows. Help the poor and those who need help with housecleaning or meals. This is pleasing to God.
I am 67; years old and this is the first time I spent Christmas alone. It wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be.
@ lots of elderly people are alone at Xmas unfortunately They have families but are not included through no fault of their own Lots of children don’t want the responsibility of them and leave it to strangers to step up Sad but true Talking to one today lady aged 89 gets a card that’s it 😞😞😞
Seeing this reminds me that I'm not the only one dealing with the hurt and disconnect. And that I shouldn't blame myself for their decisions, I was a good Mom, but I wasn't perfect. I refuse to give my power away! I will live the life I deserve!
Hi Janice, I used to feel like I was the problem. Put me in terrible depression. I cried my pain to God and asking to show me me my faults and see them thru His eyes. I found I am not a victim mentality bc I realize I wasn't awf.ul enough to have them be so dishonorable. Now my concern is them. Care that they won't need to be rebuked by God. They will correct themselves . I like myself which wasn't so far too long.
Most of my 6 children either live overseas or in other cities. The one who lives with me is psycologically abusive . I try to ask him for little as possible.
@cecilysharrock678 I would NEVER allow my children to abuse me. We teach people how to treat us. If you allow it, he will continue!
If he is abusive, you need to send him on his way.
This is such an important topic - aging gracefully often means learning how to maintain inner peace in challenging situations
My son treats me dreadful. Worse he treats Jesus with contempt and hatred. The last time he was over like a year ago he was bullying my sweet small dog and squeezed my large dogs arm until she cried out. Needless to say I'll never have him over again.
Hi. To keep inner peace, never make your first priority people who make you their second priority." Cheers, P.R.
Continue to pray for our children.
@@shairosehaji4538 amen, that's all we can do.
Everyday. Pray for our grandchildren as well. The world is no longer a good place
Yes, we must continue to pray .. God hears our prayer ... never stop praying. May God give you His Peace and Hope ... never give up ❤️✝️❤️
@margaretgray8339 ❤️
@@shairosehaji4538 amen 🙏
Letting go emotionally doesn’t mean giving up on your children; it means releasing the burden of trying to control their actions or win their approval, freeing yourself to prioritize your well-being and happiness."
I agree. I've wasted so much time on hurt feelings over my children, when there was no need. They only want advice when it suits them, they only want to be available when wanting cash. So I've finally detached a fair bit and I give myself the care and concern that I should. Worrying and anxiety over their problems was dragging me to hell.
I pause to pray for all who are in the chat. May God keep you, protect you, and comfort you. May you live the rest of your elderly years with no regrets, plenty of joy, abundance of good health, peace of mind, and the love of God. Amen.
Amen
Thank you!
Amen and God bless you ❤️
Thank you for your kind remark❤
Amen
Let's start our own group, I am upstate NY, we can help each other if only to listen! Sad times after giving up so much so the kids would have a better life than we had only to be treated so poorly! Prayers to everyone!
That is a great idea. I think it would be so theatrical for us. I live in California.
@@janicet2101 let me know if you do....
LOVE this idea. I want to be of service and share all the love within my heart. Lord knows I'm blessed as well, but I rarely see my children or grandkids. It's heartbreaking to be rejected and criticized. I choose to look to God for I know HE cares for me and never fails. Prayer helps so much! It gets so hard during the holidays. I tell myself Trouble doesn't last always. I pray that God shall comfort us ALL and help us to comfort one another. 😂🎉😂 I'm in OKC.
@missmsmrs.7309 I'm on board
@missmsmrs.7309 Amen 🙏
My husband and I have decided to give to the one(s) who care and love us more than others.
I agree with you. I intend to pass my wealth onto whomever deserves it… which may or may NOT be all of my children. I love them all equally, but they are their own people now and some are more caring toward me than others. I am taking notes😅
We do anything for the babies, including leaving our farm in trust. We won't enable the adults.
@@Mike-v4c5l Hi. That's right. If the adults haven't "got their act together" they'll waste whatever they inherit. Leave it as a trust for the g.c.'s education. Saving seed for next year's crop. Cheers, P.R.
I relate to all this.I had 3 daughters, the eldest who I was close to died a year ago, the youngest is loving to us but the middle one has been rude and disrespectful for many years.I am 74 now and can't take it anymore so have opted out.Sometimes it is the only way to have peace.
Have you seen any videos on how kids can be, depending on their birth order? It is interesting and helped me to understand why my mom was that way. She was always 'secretly' resentful, although she loved her siblings. She was a middle child. When she told me how her name was chosen for her by her parents, so much in my life made sense! Her older sister got the doting on since she was the first child and named after their mother. Last child was a boy (finally since boys are more valued in a lot of cultures) and named after their father. My mom was like 'the spare' and given basically a male name with an 'a' at the end to be accepted as a female name. I had to admit to myself that it was really an ugly name. She hated it so much that she eventually legally changed it by cutting out the letters that made it masculine.
I was an only child and it comes with its own set of weirdness. I knew because of my mom's culture that she always preferred that I would have been male. I always did well in everything, was a dutiful daughter, but I was never to be believed because 'what could I know about anything' because I was ONLY a female. The ridiculous thing is that I was trained in research skills, and did that as part of my career, but she never believed any facts I found for her and printed out as proof from trusted sources. What could I know... I was not male! So glad my Dad counteracted the damage she started to do and taught me everything he knew to succeed and be happy!
I'll be 74 this year too.
I had a girl and a boy 3 years apart and growing up I made it a point to treat each one the same, but there was still bickering between them when it came to everything not being fair... his piece of cake is bigger...bla bla bla. You had to outsmart them all the time (the older one cuts the slices and the younger one gets to pick which piece first). Eventually, they would both bicker about how unfair I was at the same time and favored the other child more, about stupid things. Brain fart finally blew in my mind and I just pointed out that if they both felt I was being unfair and siding with their sibling, then that means I was being perfectly fair to both of them at the same time! That was the LAST time I ever had to deal with that nonsense! Yes, some strategies work.
Hi it's very bad if kids ignore you for no reason to me I left my mom because she is toxic but was never like that before she gossips with her rich daughter about every other child who is poor so I gave her a chance and started talking to her then a period of ignoring her then she came back gave her another she speaks to my rich sis about everything I post on the status which doesn't concern her and I said enough no serious talks from now on I send her money sometimes I greet her but am now wiser
Very good point ❤
Same here. God bless us and take care of us ... 🙏
I wish all of us could get together in a big setting and discuss everything! Maybe we could all be friends with each other and help each other❤
There is a Facebook page like this! It has helped me a lot to know I'm not alone.
❤
Good idea I live in Texas!
I've been told there are support groups on Facebook for estranged parents. I haven't been in one yet but am considering it. This is all new to me.
Yes there are some good support groups in FB for parents with estranged kids
I am ignored by my two sons. We were separated by political beliefs and I didn't support the covid bs nor take the kool-aid. I am happy living alone and in a foreign country. I have a couple of good friends that share my beliefs. I love myself and love my family.
Good for you,❤❤
Same here, no covid shot for me. My daughter was a kind thoughtful and loving person until she spent two weeks with her liberal in-laws. She came back so hateful,argumentative & insensitive and still is the same.
Even her husband said he came back from deployment and she’s changed, I told him to talk to his parents about that.
She thought Biden was the most classy president ever. . . .I never argued with her on that but let time show her and it has. Now she’s depressed and suicidal because Kamala lost and her dog died.
If she would just open her heart to Jesus again, she would see the light. I’m praying she will but my granddaughter loves Jesus and that makes me happy.
Both of my daughters are disrespecting and do not include me in anything, unless they are at war with each other, then I get along with each of them. So I believe they feed negatively with each other. Neither were raised with abuse, no alcohol, or divorce.
But they have misplaced memories, like they said they had bikes but they had scooters, so I’m a terrible mom because I can’t remember they had bikes. My husband said if they had bikes, he would have spent his time picking them up all over the yard but he picked up scooters. I don’t understand these invented memories and if I remember differently, I’m the terrible one.
I'm going through this right now. I appreciate this video. Thank you!
It is what it is. I'm not going to beg for their love and respect. Disappointed and hurt in how uncaring and worthless I've become to them. I'm irrelevant. 💔😥
It hurts deeply
No you are not irrelevant
I totally get u. I hv the same situation. It really hurts.
It does hurt very deeply but YOU are not irrelevant. Pray & ask forgiveness on their behalf. God loves you with an everlasting love & desires you to speak to him of your sorrows. God bless & strengthen you.❤❤❤
Nothing or no one God has created is irrelevant. He has a purpose just for you. YOU are the apple of his eye! He said it, and I believe him!
As seniors we need to keep our hearts open and if not our grown children, allow other compatible loves to enter to share life with.
Is anything causing tension? Sure, i was as imperfect as they are. Parents spend many sleepless nights, loads of sickness and giving to them, and doing without. They dont remember any of that. Only the mistakes you made or what bothered them . I'll tell you there was plenty that bothered me about the, but i loved them, and the terrible twos and the teen age tears passed. I grew, too.
Its not my fault that they choose to disrespect and not love. The first thing they do when they can't face what they've done or what parents have done or percieved to have done, , no communications not a thing with these selfish people, nope. They pull the grandchildren away from you.
I can̈ot explain the hurt, cruel torment this has caused, but i can't keep surviving like this. Over and over again so I chose not to allow them to do it again. I walked away and chose peace. I did forgive them and bless them. At a distance. I just cant do it again.
Bless you
Same here. 💔
So true
This is a massive trend...
Adult kids going No Contact with parents, WITHOUT fair efforts to table and collaborate to heal connection issues before severing ties.
And many will actually cycle back in our lives if they think we can be of use to them, such as if they are struggling financially or with childcare- but then as soon as we fail to meet their expectations or have differences of perspective (as can happen in any relations given different experiences), we are painfully devalued and discarded again!
There is no willingness to use the mature soft skills to make an effort to work through to better mutual understandings and ways forward... Even when we are willing to do individual and family therapy.
... Just punitive, immature "Silent Treatment," "ghosting" us, or unfair shaming and blaming us- even with smear campaigns where they tell OTHERS their side but REFUSE to meet with us - even with professional neutral therapeutic supports- to air and repair things...
I belong to some online groups for Estranged Parents, whose adult kids have put us through the Narcissistic/ Psychological Abusive cycles of Devaluation and Discard. In one international group, there are 80 THOUSAND members... Other groups are also in the thousands.
Many, including professional psychologists and therapists, are noticing this IS a generational trend:
• the deficit of soft skills, work ethics, and authentic self-awarenesss;
• the preference to default to easy/ false-comfort feel-good addictive avoidant-dismissive "fixes" that don't really fix much;
• screen-impacted and social media distorted and filtered degradation of interpersonal relations, including for communication;
• sense of unearned entitlement, difficulty having the maturity to set aside unhelpful biases to try to understand others' perspectives,
• increased use of Narcissistic traits and tactics,
and
that adult children who were never abused are using claims akin to such trauma to justify their choices.
This last one is a huge injustice to those who have survived child abuse and severe neglect traumas- including from what many in our own generations have lifelong C-PTSD.
These younger generations are trending a "Cancel Culture" that is immature and deployed in many aspects of their lives:
• work: "Quiet Quitting"
• friendships & dating: "ghosting"
• online: vicious anonymous "trolling" &/ or cyber-bullying
• weaponising or twisting positives or narratives.
Now, as many start to parent teens of their own, often with children they weaponised with their own parents, they are now finding themselves in disconnect with THEIR kids- and somehow some are STILL blaming US for THIS too- when THEY cut us out of the picture long ago!
This breakdown and devaluation of family and intergenerational connections is an evolutionary tragedy it seems. Ancient and Aboriginal cultures used to revere all ages and stages, with Elders holding a special reservoir of caring and wisdom to all the other generations, as well as connection to heritage, cultural, and familial roots. Strong roots are strong foundations that help us hold together through storms and shifts in life.
Like so many, I loved getting to be a parent, and strived to give so much better than I had... I NEVER imagined I could end up hated and unwanted by those I loved and helped most! I looked forward to cheering on life milestones, or being supportive as needed, and to being an involved grandparent.
I HAVE done a lot of therapy work and soul-searching... And as a parent, I was constantly seeking learning opportunities to grow and do better then, too.
Therapy fields themselves have evolved a lot, and unfortunately, some therapists even ENCOURAGED this No Contact trend over FIRST offering supports to attempt to work things through prior!
I do not see how the "trending" unwillingness to invest in authentic healthy growth personally and in key relationships can serve them, or our societies and evolution well... This is another whole type of generational traumas unfolding!
I pray to let go and let God, plus, sometimes when the hurt or upset churns.
I pray for help to transmute the pain to more uplifting experiences, feelings, and connections.
I am slowly rebuilding a life where, this time, I am now no longer willing to invest my energies and resources where authentic WELL-BEING is not MUTUALLY valued.
The thing is, most PETS can meet this bar, so I now realise that it IS reasonable for me to expect that from other adults in my life.
I no longer hold out hope for reunion in this life, but do know that on a Soul level, their souls and ours will share love that matters- I was not perfect, but I sincerely loved and strived to be a better parent... Our Souls and The Creator know our Truths.
I wish you all a gentle holidays and much self-valuing peace and authentic decent connections- especially with your/ our own selves, in valuing of well-being which I know most pets, connecting with Nature, and with the Divine offer us.
🙏💞☯️🌌💜
@sarahcinnamonthriving9563 Thank you for this. Encouragement validation is comforting, but my heart misses them. And, you're correct, I have been allowed back only to have been used and when they're done tossed aside. The funny thing is that although I believe we are to forgive each time, and after the initial shock and hurt, I do . But once allowed into their lives, they do it again and pull their love from me and the children.
Here's the ultimate hurt, God said they will reap what they've sown. They will suffer this, and I wouldn't wish this kind of anguish on anyone. But I'm not in charge. I've begged God not to and there's scripture that says we'd be begging God not to discipline or punishment them but He says He is not one to be mocked, what ever you sew you shall reap.
They're hurting themselves.
And God has said that if you teach a child to do wrong, it would be better for you if a mill stone would be tied around your neck and thrown into the sea.
Using the children as weapons to hurt you is bad enough, but teaching them not to speak to you, even the grown ones who have moved out, is without conscience.
I hurt for all those who are treated like this but know that this behavior is in the bible. It says that hear the end that children will be disrespectful and unthankful, turning against their parents. So my advice is to lovingly pray for them.
God loves you, Jesus died for you, and He'll make everything right.
I grew up with " honor thy mother and father ", "respect your elders", " treat others how you want to be treated", " respect is earned not given", and a few others, im so very appreciative instilling these values when i was young, and keeping them in my heart all these years. ♥️🙏
As I've aged in my late 60's I went to my lawyers and prepared for my time when it comes.i wrote in my will I did not want to go to a home,after seeing how many elders were mistreated.Both my kids 1 son and 1daughter when I told them said yes you will😮 I said oh no I won't I will stay in my home and will hire a live in care giver paying well to be looked after! And that not till the day I die after all bills funeral etc and leaving all my grandkids and great grandkids part of my Will, my 2 children can have what's left over.The thought they both said defying me I'd go to a home I maid sure in my Will I would not! It hurt me to hear them say that😢 I've had a very rough childhood,the loss of my husband and Mother and father and 4 of my siblings.I stood strong! And will continue to stand strong to the day my time comes.Even my funeral arrangements 😊 have been made.I suggest all elders keep this in Mind,we may be old,but we have rights! Never forget that ❤
As a stepfather I'm experiencing this same issue. Already doing some of what your suggesting. Had enough. I'm moving on and letting it go. I'm 81 and I'm gonna enjoy what time I have left.
@jackbriggs7411 God bless you, sir. I know it hurts! 🙏
Go and have some fun, spend all your money on yourself. 🥰🥰
Walk away move on live in peace 🙏❤
I am 85. My 2 children ignore me. I live with my unmarried daughter. I am expected to do all the cooking and houdehold chores. No helo from her. I have jowhere else to go. Ky daughter in law has so influenced my son. He is not allowed to get in tough with me. He does contact me now and again on the quiet. I haven't been feeling well for a while now. They just don't care. . I will try and follow the advise from this video. I don't complain to them about my health , they just ignore me. So sorry to read in the comments that this situation affects so many elderly. 😢😢
Bless you ❤❤
They sure take for granted ☹️
Everyone should help with household chores: do what you comfortably can and leave the rest. Stop cooking for her and just take care of your own needs.
@@Kay.in.FL.HI.SA.JP.OZ.NZ.RIO.. thank you. I have tried, but it doesnt really help much. I feel so guilty , but will keep trying. Bless you 🙏🙏♥️♥️
@@cathybosman1361🙏 💞
I am 75 and have stopped letting my children's behaviour affect me. I was a single parent (divorce) and my son when younger put he through the ringer, with drugs, lies and kack of money but i continued to help him and baled him out with money and food and rent many a time(I don't have spare money) but i wanted to help to keep him safe . He is now clean, married with 2 daughters and has a good job. He doesn't want yo hear what I have to say on anything and can be quite aggressive verbally. I put it down to his earlier drug use. Young people of today are not happy with their lot, always wanting more, they should stop and think and consider the homeless on our streets and the war torn countries and should thank God for their own safe lives.
Ur a good mother 🙏🏼♥️
Some mothers aren’t as kind as they seem to others.
Hi Dorothy. You've been generous to a fault, and consequently taken for granted. Baby birds don't learn to fly until they've accepted they must flap their wings themselves. Some kids don't grow up until their parents are dead: they don't have to. Thanks for your honesty. Cheers, P.R.
Hi Dorothy. You have my sympathy. I don't think kids really grow up until their parents are gone. It's hard to move away from them when they need help, but sometimes it's the best thing we can do. "Give a man a fish, and he'll eat for a day. Teach him how to fish and he'll eat by his own hand for as long as he lives. I put a lot of our problems down to giving them too much unconditional love when they were well beyond the "baby" stage. Cheers, P.R.
@dorothyeaston33 I am going through the same thing. Or I should say went through the same. I told our son, I don't want to hear from him again until he's sober one year. Now he wrote us, that's it. After one year, I don't need you anymore. Ok then! I'm just tired of the constant drama, insults and late night calls when he's drunk or has another incident with the police. Not once, but many times. Now I'm to the point that I use my money for myself and bring joy to me. And I would like to retire one day, not bail my son or his girlfriend out of jail.
I was better than some parents and worse than others. But I'm done beating myself up over it. Life is good and now I try to live it the best way I can. Take care of today and tomorrow will be ok. We have a lot of freedom in our old age. Embrace it and enjoy it.
Going through this presently with my daughter.
Thanks for these awesome tips.
Some of these grown kids are just spoiled Brats! And don't appreciate anything!
Amen❤
yes. Like mine. A barrister, and a real sh*t.
Yep, that is straightforward truth in a lot of cases.
I’m in the same boat I doated on my kids, put up with their crazy dad and stayed in a very bad marriage only because my mom told me he would do more for my kids if he was in the home, the sacrifices I’m made to ensure they had a good life only to be repaid with them speaking to me crazy and disrespectfully. Im over the hurt but believe karma will repay. Thank u and happy holidays.
There's a God above he doesn't sleep or slumber.. They gonna answer for their sins and one day their children are gonna treat them the same way and see if they gonna like it😢😢it hurts I've been there and I know how it feels.
This is exactly my life as well. I’m so heartbroken. I sacrificed so much for my children.
I haven't seen my two sons in 5 years, I pray for them everyday and wish only happiness for them. I will not curse them with karma because I love them and forgive them....this gives me great peace ❤
💜
My younger sister & I made ourselves financially responsible for our mother at the age of 18 & 19 years old ; after we found our father at home with another woman. We both worked & went to school while taking care of our mother. We didn't get marry because we took care of our mother for 25 years ; until she died. She passed away when we were 43 & 44 years old. We both are working as caretakers. And had seen how old people are left alone not only holidays.But all year long by their relatives. We only have each other. We have nieces & nephews. But seeing how they treat their parents. We really don't expect nothing from them. So even though neither of us have any child ; I understand exactly how you all feel. Until today my sister & I don't regret giving our youth to our mother.
You are amazing... truly selfless ❤
@marieholland8868
When my mother was in hospice care a cousin came from out of town to visit her. And when my cousin was about to exit our house to go back to hers ; she told me : God is going to bless you both for everything you did for my aunt. I answered back : " He already did. God has paid us in advance for taking care of our mother ; making both of us financially independent. God has blessed us very abundantly."
It says in the Bible that you will be rewarded for this and that God will make your years long. God Bless you both!
@janicet2101 Amen
I told people that when I was a child ; I like to read a lot. I grew up in a small town. Even though my father reward me buying me books. Those books were not enough to satifice my convulsive reading. I did read the bible , I got when I made my 1st communion , several dozen of times. After reading repeatedly all the stories in the bible. I took one commandments very seriously. And that was honor your father & mother.
if you read this long conversation here, you will understand how blessed and rewarded you are, NOT to have children.
As my adult children married and started their own families, I was the one they called to babysit, watch and care for their kids and animals when on their vacation, they asked and I always said "YES" ! BOY EAS THAT A MISTAKE.
@MissPrissy6688 spending time with your grandkids was no mistake. They will remember the time you spent with them.
Both my Mom and Dad have passed . It was my GREAT HONOUR to be able to give back when they gave so much! I lost my Mom when I just started to be one myself 😢. I helped my Dad as much as I could my new daughter was a light 💡 to share . My Dad lived on to 95 and I was there with my three children daily either by phone or physically. What an honour they both gave so much love ❤️ which I am able to pass on to my children ! They have become wonderful adults giving caring and respectful to all! I am blessed however I was fortunate to have wonderful parents to give me a strong foundation! TG❤
My son, in no uncertain terms told me exactly how he feels about me. Which is negative and sad. It has caused me pain. But I have decided to live my life and be happy. You can’t depend on someone else for your happiness. If he comes around great. If not I plan things to do and projects to fill my time. My boundaries are set. He knows it. I won’t be verbally abused anymore.
Good for you!
Keep praying for him🙏
@ thank you. Faith and prayers are definitely a part of my life. He is always in my prayers.
Someday, when they grow old, they may end up being alone.
Guess what ? Being alone brings freedom !
I have freedom, I've been divorced for 24 years.
@dianekuroda8513 I've been divorced for 24 years, so I have my freedom.
You can count on it because young parents barely interact with their children, they always have some technology in their hands it seems.
If you don’t forgive you can’t move on. I’m 65 and live with my 90yo mother. I’m her “caretaker “. As she was for her mother. Her generation believes that children are responsible to care for their aging parents. I’m doing what I have to do. My daughter’s generation is completely different. She is selfish and self centered. I’m not counting on her for anything. I recently had pneumonia and she never called to check in on me. She gets nothing when I pass. Whatever is left goes to my grandsons.
Jesus makes the difference……you either walk with Him or……..you don’t!!
My Sons can’t even talk like adults,,, I was a widowed mom in 1980 they
abused me stole from me.. I gave them way too much and did not respect or care enough about me … I honestly don’t miss them I’m Damn happy they’re out of my life !
@@SSsmith24 I'm so sorry. Even though we have to move on, it still hurts!
I was widowed in ¹975 left with my 3 n 5yo daughters. The oldest last seen in 2009 until this past summer when she had an accident that left her paralyzed on her left side n right arm amputated.
She caused so much trouble for me in my family. She told me I should have aborted her.
Now it's me that feels unconnected and the bond was broken years ago.
Now my younger daughter is contemptuous of me. Said she won't be my taxi to visit her sister.
She's 40 miles away n ignores me when I visit. I'm 77 and don't see as well these days.
@KateBates22zabu I'm so sorry. Pray that God will intervene in your relationships with your daughter's. 🙏
@@KateBates22zabuMay Jesus & Mother Mary keep you close to their loving hearts. Praying for you & daughters
@@janicet2101 thank you prayers always help🕊💙🕊happy New Year!
My sons are very aware of me and I know that if I really needed them they would be here for me. I raised my sons to be independent and for them to be happy and find that person who loves them at least 3/4 as much as I. When you get your children to that point where they can use those WINGS you wanted for them then I for one know I succeeded in my parenting. They both have jobs, wife, children, and love God. Let them
Fly they will fly back when they can. I gave 200% from
the day they were all conceived. And I have peace knowing this. They know too. Gods plan. Always always include God and you will know what you do is the best you can do.
I have 3 stepsons, who stand to inherit everything I have. I rarely hear from them. They know my health is not the greatest, so sometimes I think they're just waiting around for me to kick the bucket. Never thought I'd be in this situation, but here I am.This year things will change on my end.
Leave everything to a good organization that you know will spend your money wisely.
Go do what you want…spend your money on you.
There are many worthwhile charities to leave it to such as St. Jude.
So not reward bad behavior. Why do WE feel guilty leaving them nothing??
Go on as many cruises as you can, spend the lot, have fun.
Give some thought to donating your assets or at least some of them to a good church that helps people including the elderly. God will bless you for it.
THIS IS VERY NEEDED TO PASS ALONG AT THIS TIME,GOOD VIDEO TOO,THANK YOU JESUS 🙏✝️💝 GODS TIMING IS ALWAYS THE BEST TIMING😇
Who's suppose to help you when needed, if your children don't much, or can't. It's ok to have strangers help, or go live in a care center, very hurtful. As if we didn't protect them all those years we did.
I have a couple of friends, and my church will help if l need it!
Reading these comments make me VERY thankful for my siblings. None of us would forsake our parents. Our mother died tragically and suddenly at the age of 52, but she had a good relationship with most of us, and a brother with a personality disorder was at least respectful to her. In the case of our father, he was diagnosed with cancer. This same brother tended to him as he could (taking out garbage, chores around the house, etc.), our other brother sent us money for nursing care, and my sister and I put off job searches when we knew of his diagnosis and took care of him, his house, and his meals, until he died at home. It is incomprehensible to me that adult children would ignore their aging parents who raised them. I wouldn’t have wanted anyone else to care for them, either.
Thanks for your very helpful video being disrespected by my children a son and daughter is very hurtful I never imagined myself in this situation but it’s my painful reality I’m doing my best to cope and get along with living the best life for myself both my children live in another country and I don’t hear from them my sons indeferance and lack of communication has been going on for years because of this I have no contact with my grandchildren I’m in my late 70 tees and it’s looking like they will grow up without knowing me they don’t speak English which causes more problems my daughter does not contact me either I live alone I feel a sense of calm and freedom since I let go of expectations and of hoping or wishing for their love I don’t know what my future is going to be but I’m thinking I’ll make plans independantelly and just get along the best way I can life is short son I have no intention of letting them interfere with my happiness
I’m in a similar boat and have had to let go of one son completely.
Ignored, narcicism and gaslighting, lies, etc.
Hard to be quiet.
I have three children ,I only see one . He is my first child .he and his wife and my granddaughter live with us .we get respect and it’s a joy having our granddaughter living with us . We do the school runs , and we know all her friends it’s great ❤
Was heartbreaking but I had to stop all contact from one son. But his son, my grandson is so wonderful.
all we can do is pray for the salvation of our lost children
Amen✝️
When my children ignored me, I just started my own life without them. Honestly, I feel better without them. There was always tension and disrespect on their part.
If my children ignore me or abandon me in my older years, I won't leave them a dime. I would will it to whoever helped me out. That would be my last life lesson to them .
Hi Cheryl. I strongly disagree. If you're abandoned, you should leave them exactly a dime. But if they show up like vultures at five-to-twelve (in your life), increase that to a dollar fifty. This is an ancient English practice called "cutting them off with a shilling". Cheers, P.R.
Please don't do that! You have to leave them a little bit, as little as $1. But if you say they don't get anything, I believe they get 25%. Happened to me and my brother. He's getting 25%, even though he was supposed to get nothing.
@@margritjones7934 Hi Cheryl and Margrit. Margrit's right. It's called "cutting them off with a shilling". It's usually done by leaving them a substantial but minor amount, say $10,000, but on condition that they do not contest the will. You must fully and truthfully write your reasons IN THE WILL for cutting them off so they hear them from YOUR LAWYER when he reads your will out. List any criminal convictions they have, especially for violence, and any time spent in prison.
In a contest your last testament will be read to the court. A guilty child will be embarrassed, and court reporters love publishing scandals. Knowing their dreadful behaviour would be laid bare, chances are they'll take the small money and run. Please run this past your lawyer and get a qualified opinion. The kids will realize the wisdom of (Prov 17:1) "Better is a dry morsel and quietness therewith, than a full house with strife".
"For justice to be done, it must be SEEN to be done". If you're partly at fault, that will be laid bare too. Old age is a naturally a lonely time, with too much time to build up resentments about the past. It depends totally on your honesty, nothing else. We do not own our children. As the poet Kahlil Gibran said, "your children are not your own, they are the product of life's longing for itself". I wish you all the best. Cheers, P.R.
"Thank you for this eye-opening video. 🌟 I’ve experienced this myself-when I turned 75, I noticed my children started focusing more on their own lives, and I often felt ignored. At first, it hurt deeply, but I realized staying calm and finding ways to focus on my own happiness made a huge difference. Your advice resonates so much with what I’ve learned over the years. Videos like this remind us that self-respect and inner peace are the key to a fulfilling life, no matter what. ❤👏"
Some will find my thought on the topic callous, but I firmly believe it. Much like myself, my children are separate ppl and we all have to live our own lives. I love my children very much but cannot lose my joy over being disrespected or ignored. It's called living and everyone lives their own way. I cannot force nor be continuously heart broken over theirs' or anyone else 's for that matter, actions. Hopefully the future will change with more positive narratives, but for now, it is what it is.
I agree with his comments. There are so many people that need love and companionship, friendship why get stuck with negativity. Life is to short and make your own happiness. If your children are that shallow it’s there choice to live that way. Do not buy into there problems, get out and live a full life of joy and happiness. It’s our book to write so make it happy.
Praying over in Jesus name amen Jesus
We chose no kids, I keep in touch w parents that were harmful sometimes because of selfishness. For you loving caring parents out there, I love you and you can be my Mom n Dad😊💙
❤❤😊
thank you so much for this especially holidays coming
A Blessed Christmas to you all lovely people
Let's just stay in Prayer and ask God to intervene for us. He does answer prayers, but in his time, so be patient and keep praying! 🙏🙏
I'am blessed my daughter and son are respectful and super kind to me, I can't understand these children.
And I’ve got the best daughter-in-law.
I have the best daughter, son, daughter in law, son in law, and 3 grandchildren and their spouses. They all there for me and my husband. I am 81 and he is 82 and we are so blessed. Have 3 great grandchildren and another due in May. Life has been good . God has blessed us beyond measure. We have married for 62 and 1/2 years. We are in better health than most older folks and still going strong. Thank you dear Jesus for all your blessings each day. From deep southeast Mississippi. ❤
I've got grandchildren who think i will be leaving them things. No, im leaving everything to my 2 children, then it's up to them if they want to share. The grandchildren don't give a ratsass about us anyway. As soon as each turned 18 we never heard from them again. Only see them if they happen to be at the parents when we are.
Kids today have such a sense of entitlement.
I have friends that trwat me better than family..so they have become my family.
There are several FB groups of parents who are estranged from their children. Many of us ended up that way because of painful divorces where the ex drove a wedge between the other parent and their children. Others ended up in this boat when their adult children started seeing therapists who told them to eliminate “toxic” people in their lives. Most of us can recite “toxic” interactions that happened in anger or arguments. That is just part of family. There were many good times, too: vacations, celebrations, attending cultural activities, supporting their activities and interests. Sometimes as parents we “nail” it and sometimes we flub it. That’s when you acknowledge it and apologize. But to completely go “no contact” (therapists’ words for it) is uncalled for, except, obviously, in cases of abuse or actual, serious toxicity. So, no, this is not an issue where we are alone. There are many, many of us wondering what the heck happened to cause this rift.
Well said. It's so confusing.
Agree. I a have a daughter who rents my house from me as I am currently working in another town. She couldn’t afford her apartment and I didn’t want the house empty. we have a rather large yard, and at the time her and her 17 year old son moved in we were paying to have the yard mowed. I told her we would pay for the service, but when summer arrived, he ( the yard care taker) doubled the price. Since I was only charging her half of the house payment, I assumed her son could mow. Boy was that a mistake. Now I am considered a toxic lying parent. She refuses to have anything to do with me, but still lives in my house. I am so over the attitude.
😢💜
I was not a good father. I spent my entire career working all the overtime I could. I just wasn’t there for my 2 kids. I had no idea at the time how wrong that was. I guess now my son is getting even. He joined the army 15 years ago, and I haven’t seen him since. I don’t even know where he’s stationed. He is now married and has a 5 year old son that I’ve never seen. I’m so hurt, but I guess I deserve this. It’s true, what goes around comes around.
For goodness sake, don’t be that hard on yourself. You did the best you could at the time…none of us are perfect at parenting…it’s a learn as you go on the job! If you would have known better, you would have done better. Be kind to yourself and others…forgive your past failings and know that in the days you have ahead act on new insights and knowledge. It’s your life right now to do the best you can with the days you have left on this glorious earth. Blessings and be kind to yourself.
We did the best we knew and you might have thought that providing financially for your family and making sure they had what they needed was important to you. Think of the alternative father who is lazy and his kids go to bed hungry in a hovel. You did fine and there is not anything you can do (other than talk to your kids about your mindset then) and only if you want to. It does not help to dwell on what we could or should have done years ago.
You did what you had to do to put food on the table and all the niceties they had growing up! If they are not mature enough to see that, it’s their loss. For what’s worth, I was a stay at home mom for 8 years of my son’s life and after which, I had to get a job . Then, I spent every moments in my waking hours with him after my job… still he treats me like dirt now. I just moved myself out of where he lives to another town to start my new life, am looking forward to a new year. I am going to enjoy whatever is left of my time with or without him. If he ever wants me in his life, it is going to be on my terms!🤨
I salute u. At least u admitted ur mistakes. My dad died, never asking us for our forgiveness for the
abuse towards us and his wife our mom. 🙏
Btw. I'm going through the same with my adult son.
It really hurts. 😢
I think it’s wonderful that you realized your part in the estrangement. I did as well, apologized, and everything is wonderful. I recommend reading Dr. Joseph Coles book ‘Rules of Estrangement.” I believe it could help you a lot. God Bless.
What a beautiful and powerful perspective! It's amazing how turning to God as the source of true joy can bring such peace and clarity. Letting go of expectations and trusting in God's plan can transform how we view our circumstances. It’s inspiring to hear how you’ve found peace and fulfillment, even in moments of solitude. Thank you for sharing this uplifting message-it's a reminder that trust and faith lead to a joy that transcends everything. The best is indeed yet to come!
Amen! God be praised always. Thank you for the powerful words.
My son stopoed communicating because he disliked Trump & ASSUMED I voted for him. Began to warm during Biden years, but stopped when Trump elected again. Still has not tried to discuss his or my political position. My other children are somewhat neutral, but remain close to their brother.
P.S. I AM NOT A TRUMP FAN.
I have 2 adult sons who have chosen to sever their ties to me and their 3 brothers. But I chose to forgive them 70 x 7 according to the Bible helps me to live my best life because of God's Love. I can forgive because God forgives me. My sons made their choice to not be part of this family. They have to face God some day b/c the commandment to Honor thy father / mother should not be broken. The Bible speaks to families being divided in the Last Days.
Amen!
... No one deserves to suffer under the hands of their children! NO ONE.
I find a few do gooders on here who think us parents should suck up whatever crap is thrown at us. No walk away I say, we are human beings and should be treated well. Do as you would by done by.
I walked away and I’m at peace with myself now.
My heart is so completely broken 💔
I agree...mine too. So sorry...
@dianekuroda8513 I'm so sorry you feel the same. The injustice is killing me
My heart, like yours, is broken. My prayer is that God will intervene and bring back your loved one into a loving relationship. He called us to love unconditionally-not just the good times. As long as you have breath, there is hope.❤
❤😢
It is heartbreaking to be ignored by our children, but I continue to try and make contact with them. I pray they'll let me back in their lives. Never stop loving them. I can't!
I think it is a commentary on our society. I grew up when you respected your parents and your grandparents you made sure that you were available to them and help them if you could. Families counted on each other
Our society is also become a throwaway society for older people. I hear so often that retirement homes assisted living and other facilities are just considered waiting rooms for the person to die. Our children and grandchildren have been raised in a world of self-indulgence self-centeredness and selfishness... Even if you tried and even if you were some of the best parents or grandparents. Society especially with social media has had such a horrible effect on our children and grandchildren... They have been so brainwashed and enticed that they don't understand what they've lost.
Me too! It hurts
😢💜
I think it’s important to remember that they are in the very active years and have a boatload of issues they are dealing with. They could have financial issues, work stress, stress from raising their children in this world , marriage issues , fear for the future or could be dealing with age related health issues themselves. Give them a break. Expect nothing and be encouraging. Build your own life and be available to them should they need a listening ear.
Amen !
A very difficult time in this world. ❤❤❤
Oh I'm sorry, you mean all the same issues we had to deal with while raising THEM AND taking care of our aging parents. In addition to loved ones that went to war in desert storm. You keep coddling, I hope that works out for you.
If they’ve got teenagers, try to be more understanding. I’d hate to be having teenagers nowadays. Just be supportive.
How many "give them a break" do you suggest. Of course the majority have been given breaks time and time again from good parents. Despite that, the disrespectful continues. Parents try everything to correct matters and give everything they possibly can. Yet, disregard continues and eventually you have to consider other courses of action just to protect yourself from this diabolical destructive behaviour.
I focus on myself after decades of physical and emotional abuse at the hands of my only child. I tried everything to keep contact but after years of abuse, i only send a short email about once a month letting him know any news about his friends still in the town. He doesnt keep contact with them either. 2 years ago he needed some of my documents so he could apply for a passport. I helped him. He sent an email saying thank you. I havent had one since. I know hes alive and well. He knows it hurts me when he ignores mothers day and Christmas and my birthday. I think he enjoys it. I also suspect that I have grandchildren ive never been told.
Sending notes about what others are doing will be seen as comparing them to him. He doesn’t care how they are or he’d be in touch with them. Everything we do can be taken wrong. Just stop contact . If he’s interested he’ll contact you. It’s difficult but it is part of modern life. They owe us nothing.
I fully get u. I have the same situation.
Let's stay strong. 🙏
I’m fortunate in that my second son is wonderful.
🔥SHINE, O LORD, THE LIGHT OF THY
COUNTENANCE UPON US
🌹 MOST PRECIOUS BLOOD 🩸 OF
JESUS CHRIST, SAVE US
I cannot imagine doing this to my parents. I moved to the other side of the world 5 years ago to take care of my mum who has Alzheimers. My dad now has macular degeneration. There is no way I could live so far away from them even though I have two siblings very close to them, one who helps out tremendously. I gave up a lot for them but with no regrets as they gave us so much in return. I here this is a very common occurrence but thank God amongst my family and friends we take care and honour our elderly.
I would want the elderly to come together more and support each other. Depending on our adult children and grandchildren to fulfill our relationship needs is not sustainable or realistic. They have their lives, too. We need to be vulnerable with each other and not project a facade of a perfect family. It’s pride, I think.
I'm 52 and my son is 24 studying in far country....I missing him too much but he is treating me and his mom poorly and this is killing me. Sorry ❤
It’s okay you have two of you to love ❤️ and care each other do you know some old couples don’t talk to. Each other at that age ? Be happy you have each other
There is a solution for all these problems of children getting alienated or keeping away from you emotionally. All these pain come from too much of attachment towards your children. Of course being parents you will have definitely attachment towards your children. But let this be attachment with detachment. You will not get hurt. Being grown ups they have their own way of looking at things even handling their relationship with their parents. Let's remain cool and as you said let's not lose our self respect and dignity. Let's not bother too much about it because we have our own life to live. So the mantra is attachment with detachment. 👍
My husband passed at 60 from cancer , be grateful you have each other . Enjoy each day together.
Hold on to your money Go very sparring. And don’t always be available Make your own friends. Hobbies. Been too busy
Re. Being too busy. Spend money on yourself. Make cash arrangements for your future. .not his etc .
Remeber allthe good things. Compliments you get . Put yourself first. We did out bit good luck
I am 77 and my son cut off communication with me over 2 years ago. I don’t even know who he is any more so I don’t miss him. He need encouraged my grandsons to stay in touch with me, so those family ties are gone as well. I was a single mother and did so much for them through the years. But I will not be disrespected or not treated with gratitude. So here we are.
Our joy do not depend on what our children does because time changes everything as we grow older everyone grows old age is not for just one person father grew old mother also grew old the children also grows old the important thing is to use the word of God
I dont hear from my children. They don't recognize my Birthday or Mother's day. I don't see the grandkids unless i seek them out. I think back to giving up my time and even good jobs to take care of them and involve them in all kinds of activities. Sad...but i love and pray for them.❤😢
😢💜
While I am on good terms with my son, I expect nothing. He skypes with me every Sunday morning. We enjoy our visits. But we live in different states and we rarely see each other. I am 86 and don’t travel. He is 67, has MS and traveling is hard on him. We’ve had our issues over the years, I believe we are in the places we should be. I choose how social I want to be with others. I quilt and sew and it keeps me busy.
@judierenfrow8073 I thought this page was about children disrespecting and ignoring their parents?
Eeh in africa old people are tressure we handle them with care !
That is so true. I see it every day. How much African people respect their elders ❤❤
Every country but America treasures and respects the old.
❤❤
No contact for years from family or kids. Turned into the most peaceful and wonderful time in life. No nothing but positive in my life. Freedom is unbelievably the most positive place to be in. Only positive flows into my day. No regret. Never looked back. Life becomes what you loved before all the intrusive behavior. Back to mind thoughts when in my 20s. Life is free, wonderful, guilt free, and more beautiful. Now i have a life, mine, a real life. Never should have waited this long. ❤celebrate every day, best choice ever...❤
It's who comes into your family that ruins it!
Arrangements before Christmas my son wanted me to change when spending money on baking items and baking are time consuming. He knows I go to church every Christmas Eve. I am not going to let my Christmas be upset after all I did tell him I can come another time. He keeps texting or calling wanting me to change. Next year I'm not dragging Christmas presents and bake goods to his place. I don't need to climb up lots of stairs and all. Christmas is our Saviors birth and I like to relax. Oh by the way I said I can come another time... his girlfriends daughter is having surgery Christmas Eve. So I've supposed to change my plans.
Live for yourself, selfishly! You have sacrificed for your children and got ungratefulness. Be happy!
Amen
@@lornakurien7962isn't living selfishly the crux of this video, probably not the best advice however, if you have a ritual that you live by during the holiday season that you are happy in, continue on with it because your son is well aware of it. You did offer to come another time and that is your best offer.
It helps to know I'm not the only parent dealing with these issues. I've had a lonely walk in this regard. No contact with my since my Mom passed away over 10 years ago. There's a lot of issues and I made some big mistakes so I understand where he's coming from. It's still hard. I hope to reconcile at some point
After being out of the country for two years, I asked my son if my grandsons could come and visit me for a week. I mentioned going to a couple of places that I had taken him to at their ages. He said that “we’d talk about it” which sounded positive. I called him a couple of weeks later and he did not answer my call then or since; it has been almost two years since that conversation and four years since I have seen my grandchildren.
I envy everyone who can see their grandchildren. Someday my son and his wife will discover the pain they have caused me.
😢💜
I gave everything I had to my daughter trusting her she only wanted more but when I couldn't give any more money she dropped me like a unwanted dirt I tried to get in touch at least for Christmas but she blocked me on the phone I have no hatred my mistake my destiny ty Jay from RUclips
Same. 😢
Get involved in church, helping others, sometimes others are better to us than our own families. I praise God for my blood brothers and sisters and my church brothers and sisters.