I feel like a lot of people now days are like " I should get married because society tells me to." rather than " I want to get married because I love this person and want to build a life."
I've heard they're pretty bad and are getting worse. I live and work here and I can tell you that many Korean men don't even mention condoms when it comes to sex. Therefore, things like herpes and gonorrhea are pretty common here, unfortunately...
I’ve finally decided to do it. I was scared of possible backlash for the longest time but there are enough Korean people speaking out about every topic and people aren’t trying to just pain Korea as all positive anymore so I felt safe enough to share these aspects of Korea also. No place is perfect~ but it’s important to discuss all aspects of life I think. Not just positive ❤❤ thanks for watching
@@MrsMeganMoon (I wrote the same comment here) I'm writing a comment again because there's a statistical error problem you cited. In the 2007 report on the sex industry structure and prostitution by the Ministry of Gender Equality and Family, statistics show that 'about 50% of Korean men have experience in prostitution', but the approval of the statistics was canceled by Statistics Korea Notice No. 2010-263 due to the decrease in representativeness and the lack of objectivity of the survey method. This is because, in the investigation, he made a mistake of 'populating persons who are likely to be involved in businesses in eight industries that are likely to mediate sex trade'. Furthermore, problems were raised in the reliability of the sample design and survey method. This is because the population of statistics was set as those related to businesses in eight industries with a high possibility of mediating prostitution, such as entertainment bars and massages. The 2016 survey was also withdrawn for the same reason. In the case of the 2013 report, the presentation was delayed for eight months after the study was completed due to the issue of reliability within the Ministry of Gender Equality and Family, and then the survey was published with 'national unapproved statistics'. In 2017, at the 2nd Statistical Correcting Contest hosted by the National Statistical Office, a public offering work criticizing the problem of the prostitution survey report was awarded. For the same reason, the 2016 Prostitution Survey released by the Ministry of Gender Equality and Family in 2017 was also classified as 'national unapproved statistics'. True, these false statistics from the Ministry of Gender Equality and Family put the number of men who bought sex between 168.84 million and 93.95 million annually. For your information, Korea has a population of 50 million. In addition, the approval was revoked in the end, and the survey also put prostitutes at 270,000. Both sides are abhorrent by the findings, which exclude them from state-approved statistics due to reliability issues. Again, it is rather hard to understand that in a country where there are about 50 million men and women in total, there are 93.95 million men engaged in prostitution a year. So there are no reliable statistics on Korean men's prostitution, just like women's. Common Internet statistics such as "half Korean men engage in prostitution" are just discredited, exaggerated and distorted misstatistics. As are numerous distorted and exaggerated rumors and statistics about Korea (And this comment used a translator, so the sentence might be weird. Please understand)
@@elekow7998Yes. In fact, whenever I see so many exaggerated and distorted statistics about Korea circulating on the internet, I sigh, but I've almost given up. No matter how much I explain the truth to people who hate Korea. False is a one-line sentence, but most people just give up because it takes 1000 times more effort to correct it. Anyway, thank you for the good comments.
@@haejeegwon9774Unfortunately, most people prefer provocative sentences to the truth. And Korea is a more feminist country than people think. Korean feminism was one of the pillars of the labor movement/democratization movement of the 20th century, and has taken over all sectors of society by the 21st century. For your information, Korea's current women's absolute rights index, undp gii 2019, ranks seventh in the world and first in Asia. Korea also has one of the largest number of women's organizations relative to the population. This is why women's issues are always mainstream in Korea. The irony is that the higher the women's rights and the more feminist countries, the more seriously women's issues are treated, causing the misconception that they are seriously misogynistic. In the case of North Korea, no one can talk about the problem, so no women's issues are known. And in the case of Sweden, it was once the world's second-largest rape rate. Ironically, Korean feminism is also more extreme than people think. Most people in modern times give their absolute support to feminism, but at least Korean feminism has numerous problems. The Korean Ministry of Gender Equality, for example, has made numerous such statistical errors and manipulations, but few media outlets point it out. Even after searching for news articles about these false statistics, most still cite these false statistics as they are. This is because official opposition to feminism in Korea is a very dangerous attempt.
@@haejeegwon9774Unfortunately, most people prefer provocative sentences to the truth. And Korea is a more feminist country than people think. Korean feminism was one of the pillars of the labor movement/democratization movement of the 20th century, and has taken over all sectors of society by the 21st century. For your information, Korea's current women's absolute rights index, undp gii 2019, ranks seventh in the world and first in Asia. Korea also has one of the largest number of women's organizations relative to the population. This is why women's issues are always mainstream in Korea. The irony is that the higher the women's rights and the more feminist countries, the more seriously women's issues are treated, causing the misconception that they are seriously misogynistic. In the case of North Korea, no one can talk about the problem, so no women's issues are known. And in the case of Sweden, it was once the world's second-largest r*pe rate.. Ironically, Korean feminism is also more extreme than people think. Most people in modern times give their absolute support to feminism, but at least Korean feminism has numerous problems. The Korean Ministry of Gender Equality, for example, has made numerous such statistical errors and manipulations, but few media outlets point it out. Even after searching for news articles about these false statistics, most still cite these false statistics as they are. bcz It's a very dangerous attempt to formally raise a problem with a feminist in Korea And for the same reason, people here won't like my opinion :)
At the end of the day, ladies, never lower your standards for anyone and do not ever tolerate disrespect. Better to be solo and supporting yourself than be with someone that's weighing you down
The documentary "Save My Seoul" is pretty good. It talks about how "prost..ion" was 25% of the GNP after the war. Women literally were part of Korea's recovery.
My grandmother would always tell us. If you want a happy marriage move as far away as you can from both of the families. This way nobody meddles in your issues
Done it, we literally changed countries together, and i can confirm that it's absolutely valid. Those who love and support us call and visit often, the other ones just stay in their corner of the world.
That might be best for some, especially if they have toxic family members. But, for parents, it’s really vital to have a village who is able to help out with watching the kids sometimes. So for people wanting to have children, I think that being near family is very important and should be prioritized, if it’s healthy and not toxic, of course.
@@rachelsbeadssThis is also a bad message because a lot of people end up in toxic marriages and feel they have no way out. Alienating family just exacerbates this.
@rachelsbeadss Maybe mothers in law from certain countries need to understand that they need to make themselves likable to their children's family, not the other way around. Yet, many mothers in law purposely act as toxic and unlikable as possible against their child's partner. Then she wonders: why don't they come to visit me more often?. Why doesn't he/ she seem happy when I come to visit?. I mean: if you are rude and toxic against somebody, don't be surprised when later on that person don't want to see you or have you around anymore!
As a Korean American, these videos about marriage are so soothing for me. I have made a lot of decisions in my life with my parents in mind, but I feel like I've "stepped out" with my choice of fiancé. They've been warmer towards him lately, but the desire to appease my parents can feel overwhelming at times. They're not even that bad compared to other Korean parents, but I can still feel the subtleties in their judgement!! I love my fiancé and my parents so much. Thank you for articulating this dynamic so well. It really is comforting.
This is very sad to hear. There is so much to be gained in a strong marriage, such a bond that nothing can compare to. I wish that for couples and hope this horrible trend reverses.
I got news for you. "Accessibility" is easy anywhere. I don't buy that as the reason. I live in Silicon Valley, home of youtube, google, and full of highly paid engineers and I can get "it" anytime I want - ESPECIALLY if I'm willing to pay for it. But I do NOT because I love my wife. If you love and respect your spouse, regardless of their profession, you will not step out.
Right~ it’s the lack of love in the marriages and accessibility. Even if people wanted to cheat they can’t if there isn’t anyone who they could meet and seduce. Or if they have to go woo a woman~ not saying that just having it around tempts men. But the fact that the marriage sucks and they can go get it anytime. is what allows it. I’m sure there are people who would want to cheat but couldn’t if there wasn’t any accessible women. If that makes sense~
You’re so smart to grow up with your audience. Talking about the culture as someone who sees the whole thing from your POV and loves it for what it really is feels like such a gift. Thanks
I wish the older generation would acknowledge how poor their quality of relationships were and encourage the youth to change instead of pushing them into the same cycle they suffered through.
@@jiminswriter4209 I watched a couple of videos of people asking random strangers if sleeping with prostitute is cheating and they say it's not. Including women.
It's in a lot of asian cultures. I think part of the reason is old cultural practices. Concubines were common well into the 1900s, and even after it was made illegal, the rich still 'unofficially' practiced it in many areas. Marriage was rarely based on love, but rather good matches and family connections. Romance was for concubines (for men, anyways).
@@lindsiria I know Japan because I’ve been living here for 28 years, and I’ve experienced it myself where previous relationships with Japanese women. I no longer have those expectations that it’ll never happen so I will not feel that pain ever again.
8:41 Okay now I am fascinated about the Bacchus/Elderly poverty issue. Wondering how that interplays with the tenacious hold the previous generation's mothers have on their sons...if they fear the husband will step out, they have no income, and must hold onto a son who could take care of them... ETA: oooh I am going to find that movie! Thanks for the tip
The older I get the more I realize how cheating is always “easier” than being faithful.I’m speaking in general, not necessarily me. Especially when you’re a married person. It’s easy to doubt your choice in person who you are married to when an argument comes up, and you come across someone who seems “better”. For married people like me, trust your choice. Especially if the person your with is a good person. It’s always easy to start back at year 1. It’s harder to keep going till year 50+. Let’s make being HAPPILY MARRIED a goal for everyone to want to choose, and not one that seems like “idk if I made the right choice”❤.
@@panidaj641 Yeah.. I thought of that perspective too. Hence why I had placed quotation around easier. It is HARD to CONCEAL cheating, but the choice of the act is not a hard one to commit. Especially when there's actually a LOT of easy temptations around you. As Megan said in S.Korea a LOT of P-R ostitution lol. Is one temptation of many that they have. So I guess what I meant by my comment is, and I guess I could revise it, but I'll just explain here lol. What I meant by it is, remaining faithful and loyal is a hard morale to honor. Especially in times of disagreement with your significant other. You'd probably counter with "it just means you didn't love your S.O. as much as you thought'. (Which in S.Korea it seems like love isn't even a factor in their choice, smh.) You wouldn't be wrong to say so either, but keep in mind, love relations is the same as any other relation you have in life. People grow and change. Especially when a LOT of new factors is added into the equation. Like children. You 10yrs from now with children, wouldn't be the same you that your spouse fell in love with 10yrs prior. That's how people fall out of love. Of course by then you'd be too far into the marriage to want to end it, but you want to "try a different version of your life". The 'what if's'. Then miraculously you meet someone who can fill those 'what ifs'. You get what I'm saying? Once upon a time infidelity use to be illegal in monogamous marriage countries for that purpose alone. The 'what if's urges. So yes. The act of cheating is hard, for those who still care for their spouse but just got tired of the daily life with them. It's not hard for those who just don't care, but don't want to lose the luxury of having their spouse. (which is another story on its own. smh.) However, it's not hard to choose to cheat. Especially the more time you spend with 1 person, and the older the both of you grow.
Now with me having added more details into my comment... I want to wrap it up by saying THAT IS THE POINT OF WHY I SAY TRUST IN YOUR CHOICE. In the comment. Remind yourself of why you choose to love who you love. Even if she isn't the same gentle girl she was 20yrs back. She's now the strong, confident woman, who eases you in times of stress. The reasons can change. Thats what life is. Just don't hold those reasons as the SOLE purpose of the marriage. Adapt to your marriage as time adapts to you. I'm not saying to remain in a loveless marriage if you are in one that has many other sucker points. I'm just saying stress options before deciding to cheat or divorce, because as I stated in my comment above. It's always easier to cheat and start at year 1 with someone new, but it's harder and a HECK OF A LOT MORE WORTH IT to build, grow, and CHANGE for the good of BOTH OF YOU with the same person all the way to year 50+.
@@tUiDo4 Can’t agree with anything you said. Sorry. Cheating is easier than being faithful? Especially when you’re a married person? It’s easy to doubt marrying someone when you argue? You might come across someone better? Trust your choice, especially if your person is good? Make “ Happily Married” a goal for every one? Sorry again, none of this makes sense or is logical or coherent. Fact, people evolve experientially, couples can and do grow apart even as they cohabitate, like two strangers living in the same house, people are subject to their physical chemically driven actions, urges that can be beyond their control. In my opinion, it’s far better to stay out of other peoples lives. Just let people be. That’s the least harmful thing to do.
@@MoonstoneStarChaser I guess my whole message just goes over your head then. No worries. To each their own then😊 If you wish to disagree more. I will not respond, but you are more than welcome to.
Hi Megan, I really enjoy your talking videos. It is very apparent that you do a lot of research. I was impressed by how non-judgmental you've been in sharing the information. It's very heart centered and leads me to believe you really care about people. Much appreciated. I look forward to more of your videos.
i think communication is always key. but it's sometimes hard to open up. this video showed me once more how important it is. to be vulnerable is actually the most brave and strong thing you can do. i think it's important to always remind ourselves of that and the next generation as well
Enmeshed families are a disaster zone for intimate relationships. Period. You are such a mature, sound minded woman. Mista Moon is an extremely fortunate man ! Same for your kiddos ;-) ❤
I am from the Caribbean, where we coined the term punani. When you said punani purchasing it took me out. I screamed so loud. LOL I live in China and the story is very, very similar.
Moved to Korea in 2001 and married in 2004. My wife is Korean. We are very happy and very much in love 20 years later. I’ve never cheated and I would be very, very surprised if she has.
Maybe its a good thing that marriage in Korea has decreased - its better to be alone then with someone your parents picked for you. When will these Korean parents stop all the insanity and when will the children tell them NO! Thanks for another great video.
no. marriage in korea needs to be reorganized. decreasing marriage just causes another problem. Families and new life do not stop being created because marriage decreases. Emotional hurt, physical harm, and sex do not stop because marriage decreases. now all of these things will increase without punishment by law. is that what you want? Motherless and fatherless children and heartbroken singles soothing themselves with sex? People aren't staying alone. Weren't you listening? They're ruining themselves either way. They need the hope of Christ and to learn to live by His law.
Loooove these videos. I think it would be interesting to see a video on alcohol use in Korea. I lived in Korea for one year, and the alcohol use was a big culture shock to me! I also heard stories that drunk driving is tolerated by many people not because they believe in it but because they are afraid to tell someone older than them what to do. So if someone older than them is about to drive after a night of drinking, they feel it’s inappropriate to tell them not to. Culture is such a strong influence.
South Korea has a strong Confucian heritage, emphasizing loyalty and familial duty. However, this can create pressure within relationships, leading some individuals to seek validation or connection outside of their primary relationships.
My child is the greatest gift I have in my life. Total transparency here - I wasn’t prepared for how much conflict I’d have with my MIL . The father of my child and I have a biracial daughter. Cultural conflicts and how to resolve them , were constant stress. If everyone isn’t on the same page, it feels like you’re pushing a car with triangle wheels up a hill. Getting now where with too much effort wasted 😮💨.. stay strong Megan 💪🏼
@@reneev4643 it saddens me that I can’t give you a solid answer to your question. Cuz I certainly didn’t do things the right way. Hindsight 20/20 any advice I give you, would be what I should’ve taken myself. I want to give u the hugest virtual hug for reaching out, because I believe that is one of the most important things you can do for yourself as a parent . One thing I just wanted to share with you, when I get confused , “ I ask myself if I were a child again, is what’s happening, unsafe for me, is it toxic, and will it be a pain that I will carry for a lifetime?” If you see yourself as the child again, it might clarify how you should handle the situation. You sound like an amazing parent ☺️.. I’ll keep u in my thoughts 🙏🏼
Ahh yeah it can be hard. But I was just super strict about it. 😂😂 no wiggle room. Maybe they think I’m stubborn but I stopped caring. Maybe they even talk crap about me but I stopped caring. Since my job as a mom is to raise the kids according to what I think is best. I made it clear that I was raising based on what I believed.
As someone who has been watching you a longgg time (probably even before you met Mr. Moon) I love your talking/podcast style videos the mostttt! Keep em coming
imagine some of these older women were probably forced into the sex trade during the war as young girls and are acting out resulting trauma. its so sad
Loving these deep dives into Korean culture, very eye opening. I do hope you cover poverty within the elderly community in South Korea. I've been seeing Aiden Kim on Insta trying to help people with donations and it's heartbreaking.
Completely unrelated (I promise I'm watching the video 😂) I love watching your style evolve! Always happy to get your notifications, even when life is crazy.
You preached a word about the couple “golden time” at 15:00-16:00. It reminds me of the Bible verse in Genesis 2:24 that says “a man shall leave his father and his mother and shall cleave unto his wife and they shall become one flesh.” You cannot leave and cleave when your mom thinks you’re her man and not her son. The son now husband has to set the boundary with his parents that his highest priority is now his wife. I’m glad to hear Mr Moon has done that for you. I’m enjoying this new transition of yours. It helps your babies have a private childhood while you still discuss things of importance. I love how you make Korean culture digestible without being judgmental and cite your references. Thank you.
You always put a lot of effort into researching topics from an objective cultural and historical lens makes your videos so engaging. Great job Megan, please keep them coming!
These stories tell me a lot about how special your parents-in-law must be. Especially when I think about your MIL - I know you have a pretty close relationship with her, and she seems to grateful to have you as her daughter.
As a Korean American who has lived in Seoul for 19 yrs, I can vouch for much of what you found. Very impressive! Your research, your explanations of Kor terms, your touch of humor (boo boo LOL), and you are an amazing communicator! How did you record without a teleprompter?
This is very interesting. I learned a lot from you. Living in Korea for nearly 4 years and still struggling with the language. It’s not easy. But I am learning it for my kids and my husband. Thank you for this information.
Wow, this video was so fun to watch I was genuinely surprised it was over! Thank you for this and your level headed perspective on such a sensitive topic! 💜
Getting the real scoop vs idealized naive K-drama fantasies is invaluable. Thank you SO much!!! I send everyone to your channel just to get a dose of reality.
It makes me laugh when people call Korean men “polite” and “shy” sexually. Let me tell ya, if you marry one… these men are not shy in the bedroom 😭 the fact most of the Korean men I know can name off LISTS!!! of Japanese and Russian porn stars. LISTS.
@@dshyon you completely missed the f'in point. Not every man is seen or explained in such an innocent/pure light like Korean men, while in reality they're not (according to og comment). That's the main point, many other men aren't infantilized or romanticized as much as korean men are.
@@nandi_m04 I missed the point....she's all over this thread talking about all men because of her experiences. What in the fuck are you even reading? You just pick bits and pieces of words to read to suit your narrative?
Why specifically Russian and Japanese? I'm a Korean man and neither are my type. Also stop stereotyping, that's most men for you. We do it less then most men from other races. Trust me
@@nandi_m04 Who sees Korean men in an innocent/pure light? Kpop stans and koreaboos who know nothing but kpop idols and korean actors? Seems like it. I didn't miss the point, the example she used was terrible lol. Korean men have been villified online for like the past 2 years all of a sudden they're viewed in an innocent light? Doesn't make sense.
I remember reading this article about sex and marriage in Korea and men were talking about how when women became mothers they no longer see them as sexual beings. They’re the mother of their kids. Not their wives in that sense anymore.
@@rachelchibi07But the father’s are also called the same thing. Sarah’s dad. It’s not about women not having an identity anymore. I personally find it endearing on both ends.
Is the whole madonna vs whore complex ans men clearly have issues with that... Like for them mothers are this asexual things that deserve respect, which MAKES MY POINT MORE VALID, this men have issues accepting sex as something you do with someone than rather Do to someone , aka women enjoy sex thats why they did it with you .... Very misogynistic in nature, as is sex is nasty ans something you do to disgusting girls (aka the whores ) I also have read how men start ro have less hardcore sex with their gf once they are inlove ....the issue is men and how they see sex
Yep it's decriminalized, and the corporate culture promotes cheating as well as nightlife. You also have the marriage culture and the perspective native Koreans have towards marriage. In the Korean mindset traditionally speaking marriage is more than just about a love affair and happily ever after, it's about family health and wealth or lack thereof, and inheritance, and appearance of children and unity of family and ultimate success and hapiness of family. So there are still many couples that still get married to people their parents expect them to marry, or are in fixed marriages, and just go along to get along. And after work raising kids, moving them through classes putting up with a husband's corporate partying, a wife's duties for holidays and family obligations people wind up becoming strangers and becoming more bonded with the people they are in proximity with.
I believe Korea Japan and china believe payment for protrude is not cheating . But that is wrong any sexual relations outside of the marriage bed is cheating. Marriage is already hard being married to someone u love. So imagine being married to someone that u are not in love with but it is just a marriage of convenience not good.
Oh no sweety, they dont see it as cheating if mwn do it ... I saw an interview of men saying almost laughing and all giggle saying going to the soap bars wasnt cheating and the. The intervewer after making sure they werr all chill and open mind asked them... So if you gf go to a host club and oay sex for rhe handsome you g hots you are ok with it since is not cheating...OH BOY THE WAY THEY FACES CHANGE ans suddendly girls doing it is not the same since women chetaing is worse cuz involved feelings not like men that is just sexual ....yeah sure dude...they are just sexist, thats it
This is interesting Meghan. Last video you said sometimes sons feel the need to cater to their mother 's emotions because their husbands were taking care of their own mothers. That immediately felt like a hamster wheel that everyone needed to get off of because it involved a couple of generations who were all suffering. This new video is almost a follow up video with an inevitable conclusion. I am hoping with you that this changes for the better. A good marriage counselor is really a good idea as they have tools people need. I had a friend once whose husband made sure they saw a marriage counselor twice a year. He just assumed that he would need tools to successful in his marriage. One of the things that the counselor suggested was that he (specifically) arrange a weekend babysitters included where all his wife had to do was pack her own things and leave. He had done everything else. Reservations made. Trip was paid for. She said that this was the single most loving thing he did because he seemed to know when she needed a rest.....it's the small things sometimes that matter...❤❤❤❤
Hey Megan, I love that you’re continuing these deep dives! You mentioned지식인사이드, are there any other Korean psychology or social issues youtube/tv shows you recommend?
I'm so thankful for videos like this because of the idealized lifestyle that us westerners view a lot of Asiatic countries. The US has its problems, but I'm so thankful there are actual laws on the books that prevent bosses from pressuring me to go to "massage parlors".
You nailed it! Non disrespectable and understanding of the social norm. Mr Moon (hubby) should be very proud of you! A beautiful, articulate, understandng woman as a partner and mother of his children.
This was actually really interesting. I feel like you opened a window and shed light on a section of Korean culture that never would have occurred to me.
Thank you, Megan, for these videos. I wish more influencers talked about the country they live in to help.us understand it from their point of view. Thanks megs
Those videos are really fantastic. :) You are a great speaker and I appreciate the research you put into them, especially since a lot of studies are probably in Korean and not that accessable to non-Korean speakers/readers even if they were trying to do their own research.
I don't agree, I'd prefer to know that my spouse chooses not to cheat out of love and respect rather than out of fear of being punished. It infantilizes people. Can't coerce people into being decent. We have to grow and educate ourselves and never settle for less than we deserve
in Muslims and Arab countries cheating considered to be the worst sin ever, %50 of the time if it is a woman it will cost her her life and for a man it will cost him his reputation.
Thank you for your insights on emotional and relational health. Couples making each other the priority so that they can be healthy for their children is extremely counterintuitive, especially in Korea. Also didn't know about the 3 year bonding phase for new marriages. Both me and my wife work in Seoul, and I lost my job in July and it was extremely difficult for me, since up to that point were only married for a few months (great timing!) However, we spend every night together and I have energy to take care of her and love her well on weekends. So even though it's a bit of a financial strain, it's been a super important time for us. We move back to the US in January and I will be the one working but thank God it'll be a more balanced work schedule and she'll be able to take a rest for however long she wants Subscribed! Also, great Korean -I'm so envious I couldn't pick up the language I tried so hard haha
I have been LOVING this series. I've lived here in Korea for almost 4 years now and have observed A LOT of what you talk about and it's so fascinating to get a more indepth explanation for some things I've noticed. I don't have a close relationship with any Koreans, other than a few coworkers, but like you said the idea of what i had about Korea before i came versus now...DIFFERENT 😅. We know there are an abundance of couples here and just observing, as you've mentioned you can see the lack of communication or intimacy. So many couples will be out on dates and not even talking or acknowledging each other's presence. They'll just be sitting in silence, both on their phones, maybe exchanging a word or two every now and then. From the little bit some Korean coworkers have told me, you can see the superficial way relationships are here but i do think many wish it could be different. You've talked about it here and in the first video about basically the loveless marriages. Besides the superficial nature in which they approach relationships, you still see A LOT of people just get married because of pregnancy. How many times, even in recent years, have we heard celebrities announce marriages and babies at the same time. I've had coworkers tell me, i had a baby and got married right afterwards. You've talked about the mom's who latch onto their kids for emotional support or end up blaming the child for their marital issues because they're only in the marriage due to the kids. I wish Korea didn't still have such a huge stigma on single parenting or co-parenting where people feel pressured to marry(especially somebody they don't love or sometimes really know) just because the woman is pregnant. I read a statistic a while back because of the numerous articles about the failing birth rate, that Korea needed to change their mindset on single parenting and offering resources so people don't feel marginalized. It stated that in Korea, babies are still born to like 98%married couples which is WELL above the average for most countries. So the idea is loveless or sexless marriages don't shock me when you have people who married for other reasons BUT those.
Again, thank you so much for the information and not just speculation or gossip. And I like how you end on a positive note: there's no condoning or sugar coating, but it's not hopeless either.
One topic I’m interested in is how Korean couples avoid pregnancy so well? In America teen pregnancy is a lot higher. I myself was very allergic to hormonal birth control and got pregnant at 19 as a result. Why and how is teen pregnancy so low in Korea at least compared to America?
@@lilmamagc so abstinence? In America when you speak on teaching abstinence our society throws a fit and instead pushes toxic synthetic hormones on teens that don’t even work.
Kids lack free time. Also bc education dictates your entire life, most kids probably feel it isn’t worth it. Also birth control even in the form of condoms isn’t a taboo subject nor a symbol of male weakness or whatever like in the US.
Teen pregnancies do happen but the stigma is HUGE! Abortion is also a quiet option (though it needs a man's approval) so I'm guessing there's a lot of unreported statistics on that. On the other hand, it's a hyper competitive society so most people are having first sexual experiences in their early to mid 20's as opposed to how low it skews in America because more emphasis is placed on education. Many people also live with their parents so in order to have these experiences, you have to go to a motel (a love motel) and that kind of adds up in costs that alot of younger people may not afford if they're in a commited relationship. But in essence, pre-marital pregnancy is a Big NO, so many couples have shot gun weddings to cover up the shame which again means lower statistics recorded. The rest would just be basic contraception.
i've been watching you since 2016 and if there is one thing i absolutely love about you and your content it's the genuineness and spontaneity that you have. keep it coming! ❤️
I read a lot of korean manhwa/manhua, and I never understood the weekend only sex. It's really weird to me. Last year, my partner and I worked nights two months straight, 60-72 hours a week/ 12 hour shifts, as nuclear operators. Which is very physical and mentally challenging. We made our 4th child during that time period. We have been together for 17 years.
Wow this video made my stomach hurt 😢 they say the truth may hurt for a moment but a lie hurts forever. Why cant people just be honest with each other. Once, I was talking to a man and at work another man wanted a relationship with me (told everyone and always found me and flirted and tried to give gifts). I was tempted for some unspoken reason like a weird felt chemistry. It was difficult to do this but as soon as I realized the temptation I called my man and admitted what was happening at work and apologized for even being tempted by another man. Just telling the truth alone broke the spell. But also the man I was talking to got dressed in his finest outfits and always picked me up from work after that while staring down the other man like back off. The whole thing felt wholesome and natural human weakness and not a sneaky disgusting thing like lying and cheating.
That is so sad this is a very thorough and well put video! Thank you for that! I love learning about other cultures, even the sad parts. I really hope things continue to get better for everyone! I started really noticing these sadder side of the culture when a lot of the K-pop stars were self-illuminating. It just really made me sad because in a mental health is solo priority and these poor young people are under a lot of stress and need understanding more now than ever!
Edit: I was trying to say the poor young K-pop stars are self-eliminating, and that it's just really sad because mental health isn't taken seriously or that so many are made to feel like they're just being weak or complaining or that they need to suck it up.
Was married to a korean man for 5 years. I caught him cheating (writing to women and buy them dinner so on) a few times he didnt even seem guilty about it and would blame me for going through his phonr, because I made the problem. If I didnt look there would not be a problem he said. I stayed cause I loved him.. Eventually when he got denied to stay in sweden he admitted to sleeping with other women and left me. He found a new girl from england (new victim) he really wanna leave korea lol. And honestly him leaving me is the best thing that happened. Because I learned to love myself and never tolerate that again. Korean men are very misogynistic. Don't believie in kdramas. Its not like that at all!!!
People have been asking on social media so I’m telling you here. my Korean Skincare deal will be back on sale from November 4th~
84? Wow ! Women are still having sex appeal at this age! How liberating! I want to do that job
I feel like a lot of people now days are like " I should get married because society tells me to." rather than " I want to get married because I love this person and want to build a life."
It's every where not just Korea!
That's been happening for many generations, all over the world.
its actually the exact opposite a lot of women especially western women dont want marriage or kids at all.
it's always been like that honestly, especially in the 90s and 2000s, which is why so many millennial and gen z people's parents are divorced.
@@제니-b9hA lot of Korean women don't want marriage either. Just look at the birthrates continuing to go down.
It would be interesting to know the STD/STI rates in Korea , especially with all this cheating.
I've heard they're pretty bad and are getting worse. I live and work here and I can tell you that many Korean men don't even mention condoms when it comes to sex. Therefore, things like herpes and gonorrhea are pretty common here, unfortunately...
It’s super high. The men don’t give a crap
@@Taecoconut Yeah, sadly, that's so true
I dont think they have sex/std education. Correct me if im wrong
@@1040baa sex education is mandatory in SK
Honestly, thank you Meghan for doing these deep dives into Korean culture
I’ve finally decided to do it. I was scared of possible backlash for the longest time but there are enough Korean people speaking out about every topic and people aren’t trying to just pain Korea as all positive anymore so I felt safe enough to share these aspects of Korea also. No place is perfect~ but it’s important to discuss all aspects of life I think. Not just positive ❤❤ thanks for watching
@@MrsMeganMoon (I wrote the same comment here) I'm writing a comment again because there's a statistical error problem you cited. In the 2007 report on the sex industry structure and prostitution by the Ministry of Gender Equality and Family, statistics show that 'about 50% of Korean men have experience in prostitution', but the approval of the statistics was canceled by Statistics Korea Notice No. 2010-263 due to the decrease in representativeness and the lack of objectivity of the survey method. This is because, in the investigation, he made a mistake of 'populating persons who are likely to be involved in businesses in eight industries that are likely to mediate sex trade'. Furthermore, problems were raised in the reliability of the sample design and survey method. This is because the population of statistics was set as those related to businesses in eight industries with a high possibility of mediating prostitution, such as entertainment bars and massages. The 2016 survey was also withdrawn for the same reason. In the case of the 2013 report, the presentation was delayed for eight months after the study was completed due to the issue of reliability within the Ministry of Gender Equality and Family, and then the survey was published with 'national unapproved statistics'. In 2017, at the 2nd Statistical Correcting Contest hosted by the National Statistical Office, a public offering work criticizing the problem of the prostitution survey report was awarded. For the same reason, the 2016 Prostitution Survey released by the Ministry of Gender Equality and Family in 2017 was also classified as 'national unapproved statistics'. True, these false statistics from the Ministry of Gender Equality and Family put the number of men who bought sex between 168.84 million and 93.95 million annually. For your information, Korea has a population of 50 million. In addition, the approval was revoked in the end, and the survey also put prostitutes at 270,000. Both sides are abhorrent by the findings, which exclude them from state-approved statistics due to reliability issues. Again, it is rather hard to understand that in a country where there are about 50 million men and women in total, there are 93.95 million men engaged in prostitution a year.
So there are no reliable statistics on Korean men's prostitution, just like women's. Common Internet statistics such as "half Korean men engage in prostitution" are just discredited, exaggerated and distorted misstatistics. As are numerous distorted and exaggerated rumors and statistics about Korea
(And this comment used a translator, so the sentence might be weird. Please understand)
@@elekow7998Yes. In fact, whenever I see so many exaggerated and distorted statistics about Korea circulating on the internet, I sigh, but I've almost given up. No matter how much I explain the truth to people who hate Korea. False is a one-line sentence, but most people just give up because it takes 1000 times more effort to correct it.
Anyway, thank you for the good comments.
@@haejeegwon9774Unfortunately, most people prefer provocative sentences to the truth. And Korea is a more feminist country than people think. Korean feminism was one of the pillars of the labor movement/democratization movement of the 20th century, and has taken over all sectors of society by the 21st century. For your information, Korea's current women's absolute rights index, undp gii 2019, ranks seventh in the world and first in Asia. Korea also has one of the largest number of women's organizations relative to the population. This is why women's issues are always mainstream in Korea. The irony is that the higher the women's rights and the more feminist countries, the more seriously women's issues are treated, causing the misconception that they are seriously misogynistic. In the case of North Korea, no one can talk about the problem, so no women's issues are known. And in the case of Sweden, it was once the world's second-largest rape rate. Ironically, Korean feminism is also more extreme than people think. Most people in modern times give their absolute support to feminism, but at least Korean feminism has numerous problems. The Korean Ministry of Gender Equality, for example, has made numerous such statistical errors and manipulations, but few media outlets point it out. Even after searching for news articles about these false statistics, most still cite these false statistics as they are. This is because official opposition to feminism in Korea is a very dangerous attempt.
@@haejeegwon9774Unfortunately, most people prefer provocative sentences to the truth. And Korea is a more feminist country than people think. Korean feminism was one of the pillars of the labor movement/democratization movement of the 20th century, and has taken over all sectors of society by the 21st century. For your information, Korea's current women's absolute rights index, undp gii 2019, ranks seventh in the world and first in Asia. Korea also has one of the largest number of women's organizations relative to the population. This is why women's issues are always mainstream in Korea. The irony is that the higher the women's rights and the more feminist countries, the more seriously women's issues are treated, causing the misconception that they are seriously misogynistic. In the case of North Korea, no one can talk about the problem, so no women's issues are known. And in the case of Sweden, it was once the world's second-largest r*pe rate..
Ironically, Korean feminism is also more extreme than people think. Most people in modern times give their absolute support to feminism, but at least Korean feminism has numerous problems. The Korean Ministry of Gender Equality, for example, has made numerous such statistical errors and manipulations, but few media outlets point it out. Even after searching for news articles about these false statistics, most still cite these false statistics as they are. bcz It's a very dangerous attempt to formally raise a problem with a feminist in Korea
And for the same reason, people here won't like my opinion :)
At the end of the day, ladies, never lower your standards for anyone and do not ever tolerate disrespect. Better to be solo and supporting yourself than be with someone that's weighing you down
Have fun with your cats lmaooo
Same for men woman cheat as well. Goes both ways.
@@InquisitionFrenBased
@@InquisitionFreni love cats!
@@InquisitionFren Have fun being jealous of cats lmao
The documentary "Save My Seoul" is pretty good. It talks about how "prost..ion" was 25% of the GNP after the war. Women literally were part of Korea's recovery.
Oh wow. I should take a look at that
@@MrsMeganMoon
The whole documentary was good. That was just one issue that was addressed. Two guys went around with hidden cameras. Good film.
@@tessw9744 - Holy Moly!
I watched that on Amazon prime. Interesting. I think it says as much as 80 percent of guys sees a prostitute.
those women were trafficked and forced into that age most were underage girls
My grandmother would always tell us. If you want a happy marriage move as far away as you can from both of the families. This way nobody meddles in your issues
Absolutely correct....I agree.
Don't let your mother in law come over 😂😂😂😂😂
Done it, we literally changed countries together, and i can confirm that it's absolutely valid.
Those who love and support us call and visit often, the other ones just stay in their corner of the world.
That might be best for some, especially if they have toxic family members. But, for parents, it’s really vital to have a village who is able to help out with watching the kids sometimes. So for people wanting to have children, I think that being near family is very important and should be prioritized, if it’s healthy and not toxic, of course.
@@rachelsbeadssThis is also a bad message because a lot of people end up in toxic marriages and feel they have no way out. Alienating family just exacerbates this.
@rachelsbeadss Maybe mothers in law from certain countries need to understand that they need to make themselves likable to their children's family, not the other way around.
Yet, many mothers in law purposely act as toxic and unlikable as possible against their child's partner.
Then she wonders: why don't they come to visit me more often?. Why doesn't he/ she seem happy when I come to visit?.
I mean: if you are rude and toxic against somebody, don't be surprised when later on that person don't want to see you or have you around anymore!
When a country focuses purely on material and financial focus, why would they care about true relationships?
Bingo
Sounds very much like the United States
Sounds very much like the United States
Megan is such a good speaker and it's so satisfying how she explains things.
As a Korean American, these videos about marriage are so soothing for me. I have made a lot of decisions in my life with my parents in mind, but I feel like I've "stepped out" with my choice of fiancé. They've been warmer towards him lately, but the desire to appease my parents can feel overwhelming at times. They're not even that bad compared to other Korean parents, but I can still feel the subtleties in their judgement!! I love my fiancé and my parents so much. Thank you for articulating this dynamic so well. It really is comforting.
This is very sad to hear. There is so much to be gained in a strong marriage, such a bond that nothing can compare to. I wish that for couples and hope this horrible trend reverses.
I got news for you. "Accessibility" is easy anywhere. I don't buy that as the reason. I live in Silicon Valley, home of youtube, google, and full of highly paid engineers and I can get "it" anytime I want - ESPECIALLY if I'm willing to pay for it. But I do NOT because I love my wife. If you love and respect your spouse, regardless of their profession, you will not step out.
Right~ it’s the lack of love in the marriages and accessibility. Even if people wanted to cheat they can’t if there isn’t anyone who they could meet and seduce. Or if they have to go woo a woman~ not saying that just having it around tempts men. But the fact that the marriage sucks and they can go get it anytime. is what allows it. I’m sure there are people who would want to cheat but couldn’t if there wasn’t any accessible women. If that makes sense~
That's you. Not the entire population of korea
They shut down the blocks though.
@@Matt-jc2mlthey just said "I don't buy it" not that they were a country. lol what?
@@Reverse_Cat_Cowgirl just because he doesn't cheat for those reasons, doesn't mean the entire country of korea does the same
The P-R ostitution took me out 😂😂
I hear that RUclips can demonetize sometimes if you use too many of those scandalous type words 😂😂
I was like what does Puerto Rico have to do with it 🤣
You’re so smart to grow up with your audience. Talking about the culture as someone who sees the whole thing from your POV and loves it for what it really is feels like such a gift. Thanks
I wish the older generation would acknowledge how poor their quality of relationships were and encourage the youth to change instead of pushing them into the same cycle they suffered through.
It’s the same in Japan Mrs. Moon. Cheating is part of the culture here.
Cheating is not part of the culture, Korean or Japanese.
@@jiminswriter4209
You definitely don’t know anything about the Japanese Jimi.
@@jiminswriter4209 I watched a couple of videos of people asking random strangers if sleeping with prostitute is cheating and they say it's not. Including women.
It's in a lot of asian cultures. I think part of the reason is old cultural practices. Concubines were common well into the 1900s, and even after it was made illegal, the rich still 'unofficially' practiced it in many areas. Marriage was rarely based on love, but rather good matches and family connections. Romance was for concubines (for men, anyways).
@@lindsiria
I know Japan because I’ve been living here for 28 years, and I’ve experienced it myself where previous relationships with Japanese women. I no longer have those expectations that it’ll never happen so I will not feel that pain ever again.
8:41 Okay now I am fascinated about the Bacchus/Elderly poverty issue. Wondering how that interplays with the tenacious hold the previous generation's mothers have on their sons...if they fear the husband will step out, they have no income, and must hold onto a son who could take care of them... ETA: oooh I am going to find that movie! Thanks for the tip
The older I get the more I realize how cheating is always “easier” than being faithful.I’m speaking in general, not necessarily me. Especially when you’re a married person. It’s easy to doubt your choice in person who you are married to when an argument comes up, and you come across someone who seems “better”. For married people like me, trust your choice. Especially if the person your with is a good person. It’s always easy to start back at year 1. It’s harder to keep going till year 50+. Let’s make being HAPPILY MARRIED a goal for everyone to want to choose, and not one that seems like “idk if I made the right choice”❤.
I think being loyal is the easiest thing. Cheating requires a lot of deception and lies. I don't believe cheating is "easier" at all.
@@panidaj641 Yeah.. I thought of that perspective too. Hence why I had placed quotation around easier. It is HARD to CONCEAL cheating, but the choice of the act is not a hard one to commit. Especially when there's actually a LOT of easy temptations around you. As Megan said in S.Korea a LOT of P-R ostitution lol. Is one temptation of many that they have. So I guess what I meant by my comment is, and I guess I could revise it, but I'll just explain here lol. What I meant by it is, remaining faithful and loyal is a hard morale to honor. Especially in times of disagreement with your significant other. You'd probably counter with "it just means you didn't love your S.O. as much as you thought'. (Which in S.Korea it seems like love isn't even a factor in their choice, smh.) You wouldn't be wrong to say so either, but keep in mind, love relations is the same as any other relation you have in life. People grow and change. Especially when a LOT of new factors is added into the equation. Like children. You 10yrs from now with children, wouldn't be the same you that your spouse fell in love with 10yrs prior. That's how people fall out of love. Of course by then you'd be too far into the marriage to want to end it, but you want to "try a different version of your life". The 'what if's'. Then miraculously you meet someone who can fill those 'what ifs'. You get what I'm saying? Once upon a time infidelity use to be illegal in monogamous marriage countries for that purpose alone. The 'what if's urges. So yes. The act of cheating is hard, for those who still care for their spouse but just got tired of the daily life with them. It's not hard for those who just don't care, but don't want to lose the luxury of having their spouse. (which is another story on its own. smh.) However, it's not hard to choose to cheat. Especially the more time you spend with 1 person, and the older the both of you grow.
Now with me having added more details into my comment... I want to wrap it up by saying THAT IS THE POINT OF WHY I SAY TRUST IN YOUR CHOICE. In the comment. Remind yourself of why you choose to love who you love. Even if she isn't the same gentle girl she was 20yrs back. She's now the strong, confident woman, who eases you in times of stress. The reasons can change. Thats what life is. Just don't hold those reasons as the SOLE purpose of the marriage. Adapt to your marriage as time adapts to you. I'm not saying to remain in a loveless marriage if you are in one that has many other sucker points. I'm just saying stress options before deciding to cheat or divorce, because as I stated in my comment above. It's always easier to cheat and start at year 1 with someone new, but it's harder and a HECK OF A LOT MORE WORTH IT to build, grow, and CHANGE for the good of BOTH OF YOU with the same person all the way to year 50+.
@@tUiDo4 Can’t agree with anything you said. Sorry. Cheating is easier than being faithful? Especially when you’re a married person? It’s easy to doubt marrying someone when you argue? You might come across someone better? Trust your choice, especially if your person is good? Make “ Happily Married” a goal for every one? Sorry again, none of this makes sense or is logical or coherent. Fact, people evolve experientially, couples can and do grow apart even as they cohabitate, like two strangers living in the same house, people are subject to their physical chemically driven actions, urges that can be beyond their control. In my opinion, it’s far better to stay out of other peoples lives. Just let people be. That’s the least harmful thing to do.
@@MoonstoneStarChaser I guess my whole message just goes over your head then. No worries. To each their own then😊 If you wish to disagree more. I will not respond, but you are more than welcome to.
Hi Megan, I really enjoy your talking videos. It is very apparent that you do a lot of research. I was impressed by how non-judgmental you've been in sharing the information. It's very heart centered and leads me to believe you really care about people. Much appreciated. I look forward to more of your videos.
i think communication is always key. but it's sometimes hard to open up. this video showed me once more how important it is. to be vulnerable is actually the most brave and strong thing you can do. i think it's important to always remind ourselves of that and the next generation as well
Enmeshed families are a disaster zone for intimate relationships. Period. You are such a mature, sound minded woman. Mista Moon is an extremely fortunate man ! Same for your kiddos ;-) ❤
I am from the Caribbean, where we coined the term punani. When you said punani purchasing it took me out. I screamed so loud. LOL I live in China and the story is very, very similar.
😂😂😂😂😂😂
I'm Caribbean and laughed that too
@@rarebirds8216 I want that forbidden fruit too. Watch Russell Peter’s stand up. You will know what I mean.
Moved to Korea in 2001 and married in 2004. My wife is Korean. We are very happy and very much in love 20 years later. I’ve never cheated and I would be very, very surprised if she has.
You never know.
@@georgeacun3619 stop don't do that
Maybe its a good thing that marriage in Korea has decreased - its better to be alone then with someone your parents picked for you. When will these Korean parents stop all the insanity and when will the children tell them NO! Thanks for another great video.
Filial piety is SO deeply ingrained in East Asian culture...I am guessing it'll take at least a couple more generations. 😢
no. marriage in korea needs to be reorganized. decreasing marriage just causes another problem. Families and new life do not stop being created because marriage decreases. Emotional hurt, physical harm, and sex do not stop because marriage decreases. now all of these things will increase without punishment by law. is that what you want? Motherless and fatherless children and heartbroken singles soothing themselves with sex? People aren't staying alone. Weren't you listening? They're ruining themselves either way. They need the hope of Christ and to learn to live by His law.
@@ShesS0Weirdin a couple of generation there will not be a South Korea 🤦♂️
Love your sit down discussions. When i went to korea i saw couples everywhere so the pressure to date is very high.
Loooove these videos. I think it would be interesting to see a video on alcohol use in Korea. I lived in Korea for one year, and the alcohol use was a big culture shock to me! I also heard stories that drunk driving is tolerated by many people not because they believe in it but because they are afraid to tell someone older than them what to do. So if someone older than them is about to drive after a night of drinking, they feel it’s inappropriate to tell them not to. Culture is such a strong influence.
Yes, and we know people make their very best decisions while drunk 😅 so one can wonder if that plays a role in the cheating culture…
South Korea has a strong Confucian heritage, emphasizing loyalty and familial duty. However, this can create pressure within relationships, leading some individuals to seek validation or connection outside of their primary relationships.
All very well put...I love seeing you and your husband allow one another to be individuals and remain in balance.
My child is the greatest gift I have in my life. Total transparency here - I wasn’t prepared for how much conflict I’d have with my MIL . The father of my child and I have a biracial daughter. Cultural conflicts and how to resolve them , were constant stress. If everyone isn’t on the same page, it feels like you’re pushing a car with triangle wheels up a hill. Getting now where with too much effort wasted 😮💨.. stay strong Megan 💪🏼
I'm having the same exact issue, may I ask how do you navigate this stressful situation?
@@reneev4643 it saddens me that I can’t give you a solid answer to your question. Cuz I certainly didn’t do things the right way. Hindsight 20/20 any advice I give you, would be what I should’ve taken myself. I want to give u the hugest virtual hug for reaching out, because I believe that is one of the most important things you can do for yourself as a parent . One thing I just wanted to share with you, when I get confused , “ I ask myself if I were a child again, is what’s happening, unsafe for me, is it toxic, and will it be a pain that I will carry for a lifetime?” If you see yourself as the child again, it might clarify how you should handle the situation. You sound like an amazing parent ☺️.. I’ll keep u in my thoughts 🙏🏼
Ahh yeah it can be hard. But I was just super strict about it. 😂😂 no wiggle room. Maybe they think I’m stubborn but I stopped caring. Maybe they even talk crap about me but I stopped caring. Since my job as a mom is to raise the kids according to what I think is best. I made it clear that I was raising based on what I believed.
As someone who has been watching you a longgg time (probably even before you met Mr. Moon) I love your talking/podcast style videos the mostttt! Keep em coming
imagine some of these older women were probably forced into the sex trade during the war as young girls and are acting out resulting trauma. its so sad
This!!
And poverty...
Loving these deep dives into Korean culture, very eye opening. I do hope you cover poverty within the elderly community in South Korea. I've been seeing Aiden Kim on Insta trying to help people with donations and it's heartbreaking.
Completely unrelated (I promise I'm watching the video 😂) I love watching your style evolve! Always happy to get your notifications, even when life is crazy.
😂😂😂😂 thanks for watching and supporting ❤❤❤
You preached a word about the couple “golden time” at 15:00-16:00. It reminds me of the Bible verse in Genesis 2:24 that says “a man shall leave his father and his mother and shall cleave unto his wife and they shall become one flesh.” You cannot leave and cleave when your mom thinks you’re her man and not her son. The son now husband has to set the boundary with his parents that his highest priority is now his wife. I’m glad to hear Mr Moon has done that for you.
I’m enjoying this new transition of yours. It helps your babies have a private childhood while you still discuss things of importance. I love how you make Korean culture digestible without being judgmental and cite your references. Thank you.
My level of shock right now is through the roof!!! WHAT THE WHAT?!!!
You always put a lot of effort into researching topics from an objective cultural and historical lens makes your videos so engaging. Great job Megan, please keep them coming!
These stories tell me a lot about how special your parents-in-law must be. Especially when I think about your MIL - I know you have a pretty close relationship with her, and she seems to grateful to have you as her daughter.
Thank God you posted, i was literally sitting here so BORED
Im glad I could help your boredom. Thanks for watching ❤❤
Megan, you RESEARCHED this topic! Genuinely quality content! I love this 💝
This was a great video. Really giving insight into why cheating is prevalent anywhere.
As a Korean American who has lived in Seoul for 19 yrs, I can vouch for much of what you found. Very impressive! Your research, your explanations of Kor terms, your touch of humor (boo boo LOL), and you are an amazing communicator! How did you record without a teleprompter?
This is very interesting. I learned a lot from you. Living in Korea for nearly 4 years and still struggling with the language. It’s not easy. But I am learning it for my kids and my husband. Thank you for this information.
Wow, this video was so fun to watch I was genuinely surprised it was over! Thank you for this and your level headed perspective on such a sensitive topic! 💜
Getting the real scoop vs idealized naive K-drama fantasies is invaluable. Thank you SO much!!! I send everyone to your channel just to get a dose of reality.
I always look forward to your videos!
I'd love to see more on grocery stores, 7-eleven, cooking (seasonal stuff e.g. for halloween, cristmas) etc.
I’m loving this format, it’s so fascinating!!!
this was so interesting!! thank you so much for breaking everything down! also your voice is so soothing♡
It makes me laugh when people call Korean men “polite” and “shy” sexually. Let me tell ya, if you marry one… these men are not shy in the bedroom 😭 the fact most of the Korean men I know can name off LISTS!!! of Japanese and Russian porn stars. LISTS.
Any man can give you a list of porn stars lol. Is this surprising to you?
@@dshyon you completely missed the f'in point. Not every man is seen or explained in such an innocent/pure light like Korean men, while in reality they're not (according to og comment).
That's the main point, many other men aren't infantilized or romanticized as much as korean men are.
@@nandi_m04 I missed the point....she's all over this thread talking about all men because of her experiences. What in the fuck are you even reading? You just pick bits and pieces of words to read to suit your narrative?
Why specifically Russian and Japanese? I'm a Korean man and neither are my type. Also stop stereotyping, that's most men for you. We do it less then most men from other races. Trust me
@@nandi_m04 Who sees Korean men in an innocent/pure light? Kpop stans and koreaboos who know nothing but kpop idols and korean actors? Seems like it. I didn't miss the point, the example she used was terrible lol. Korean men have been villified online for like the past 2 years all of a sudden they're viewed in an innocent light? Doesn't make sense.
I remember reading this article about sex and marriage in Korea and men were talking about how when women became mothers they no longer see them as sexual beings. They’re the mother of their kids. Not their wives in that sense anymore.
Your name and identity literally disappears. You are only called as your kid's mom (such as Sarah's mom) rather than your own name
@@rachelchibi07 And it’s funny because remember how you became Sarah’s mom?
yikes those men are clearly shallow
@@rachelchibi07But the father’s are also called the same thing. Sarah’s dad. It’s not about women not having an identity anymore. I personally find it endearing on both ends.
Is the whole madonna vs whore complex ans men clearly have issues with that... Like for them mothers are this asexual things that deserve respect, which MAKES MY POINT MORE VALID, this men have issues accepting sex as something you do with someone than rather Do to someone , aka women enjoy sex thats why they did it with you .... Very misogynistic in nature, as is sex is nasty ans something you do to disgusting girls (aka the whores )
I also have read how men start ro have less hardcore sex with their gf once they are inlove ....the issue is men and how they see sex
What I find very alarming and not nearly talked about enough is the fact that P-R ostitution 👯♀️ is connected to and heavily dependent on human🚦 ing.
Yep it's decriminalized, and the corporate culture promotes cheating as well as nightlife. You also have the marriage culture and the perspective native Koreans have towards marriage. In the Korean mindset traditionally speaking marriage is more than just about a love affair and happily ever after, it's about family health and wealth or lack thereof, and inheritance, and appearance of children and unity of family and ultimate success and hapiness of family. So there are still many couples that still get married to people their parents expect them to marry, or are in fixed marriages, and just go along to get along. And after work raising kids, moving them through classes putting up with a husband's corporate partying, a wife's duties for holidays and family obligations people wind up becoming strangers and becoming more bonded with the people they are in proximity with.
I believe Korea Japan and china believe payment for protrude is not cheating . But that is wrong any sexual relations outside of the marriage bed is cheating. Marriage is already hard being married to someone u love. So imagine being married to someone that u are not in love with but it is just a marriage of convenience not good.
Oh no sweety, they dont see it as cheating if mwn do it ... I saw an interview of men saying almost laughing and all giggle saying going to the soap bars wasnt cheating and the. The intervewer after making sure they werr all chill and open mind asked them... So if you gf go to a host club and oay sex for rhe handsome you g hots you are ok with it since is not cheating...OH BOY THE WAY THEY FACES CHANGE ans suddendly girls doing it is not the same since women chetaing is worse cuz involved feelings not like men that is just sexual ....yeah sure dude...they are just sexist, thats it
That was a good Yogi Bear impression! 😊
😂😂
This is interesting Meghan. Last video you said sometimes sons feel the need to cater to their mother 's emotions because their husbands were taking care of their own mothers. That immediately felt like a hamster wheel that everyone needed to get off of because it involved a couple of generations who were all suffering. This new video is almost a follow up video with an inevitable conclusion. I am hoping with you that this changes for the better. A good marriage counselor is really a good idea as they have tools people need. I had a friend once whose husband made sure they saw a marriage counselor twice a year. He just assumed that he would need tools to successful in his marriage. One of the things that the counselor suggested was that he (specifically) arrange a weekend babysitters included where all his wife had to do was pack her own things and leave. He had done everything else. Reservations made. Trip was paid for. She said that this was the single most loving thing he did because he seemed to know when she needed a rest.....it's the small things sometimes that matter...❤❤❤❤
These one on one talks are SO GOOD!!! I love these types of videos!
this is truly a sociological analysis!!!!!!!!!
I love how you begin with historical context!!
You presented a difficult topic so gracefully (and you look lovely today as well!)
Hey Megan, I love that you’re continuing these deep dives! You mentioned지식인사이드, are there any other Korean psychology or social issues youtube/tv shows you recommend?
I’m really enjoying this style of videos
I'm so thankful for videos like this because of the idealized lifestyle that us westerners view a lot of Asiatic countries. The US has its problems, but I'm so thankful there are actual laws on the books that prevent bosses from pressuring me to go to "massage parlors".
You nailed it! Non disrespectable and understanding of the social norm. Mr Moon (hubby) should be very proud of you! A beautiful, articulate, understandng woman as a partner and mother of his children.
This was actually really interesting. I feel like you opened a window and shed light on a section of Korean culture that never would have occurred to me.
Thank you, Megan, for these videos. I wish more influencers talked about the country they live in to help.us understand it from their point of view.
Thanks megs
I like the Korean words taught 🙏
Those videos are really fantastic. :) You are a great speaker and I appreciate the research you put into them, especially since a lot of studies are probably in Korean and not that accessable to non-Korean speakers/readers even if they were trying to do their own research.
Cheating on your spouse should be a crime in all countries. Punishable by a fine and maybe jail depending on how bad things got.
That is absolutely ridiculous. You’d have to lock up every religious leader, politician, politician, business man most men and many women.
I absolutely agree!!
I don't agree, I'd prefer to know that my spouse chooses not to cheat out of love and respect rather than out of fear of being punished. It infantilizes people. Can't coerce people into being decent. We have to grow and educate ourselves and never settle for less than we deserve
in Muslims and Arab countries cheating considered to be the worst sin ever, %50 of the time if it is a woman it will cost her her life and for a man it will cost him his reputation.
It used to be and it was not ok. You cannot expect the law to punish adultery and not control who you go to bed with. Bad bad omen-
Thank you for your insights on emotional and relational health. Couples making each other the priority so that they can be healthy for their children is extremely counterintuitive, especially in Korea.
Also didn't know about the 3 year bonding phase for new marriages. Both me and my wife work in Seoul, and I lost my job in July and it was extremely difficult for me, since up to that point were only married for a few months (great timing!) However, we spend every night together and I have energy to take care of her and love her well on weekends. So even though it's a bit of a financial strain, it's been a super important time for us. We move back to the US in January and I will be the one working but thank God it'll be a more balanced work schedule and she'll be able to take a rest for however long she wants
Subscribed! Also, great Korean -I'm so envious I couldn't pick up the language I tried so hard haha
I have been LOVING this series. I've lived here in Korea for almost 4 years now and have observed A LOT of what you talk about and it's so fascinating to get a more indepth explanation for some things I've noticed. I don't have a close relationship with any Koreans, other than a few coworkers, but like you said the idea of what i had about Korea before i came versus now...DIFFERENT 😅. We know there are an abundance of couples here and just observing, as you've mentioned you can see the lack of communication or intimacy. So many couples will be out on dates and not even talking or acknowledging each other's presence. They'll just be sitting in silence, both on their phones, maybe exchanging a word or two every now and then. From the little bit some Korean coworkers have told me, you can see the superficial way relationships are here but i do think many wish it could be different. You've talked about it here and in the first video about basically the loveless marriages. Besides the superficial nature in which they approach relationships, you still see A LOT of people just get married because of pregnancy. How many times, even in recent years, have we heard celebrities announce marriages and babies at the same time. I've had coworkers tell me, i had a baby and got married right afterwards. You've talked about the mom's who latch onto their kids for emotional support or end up blaming the child for their marital issues because they're only in the marriage due to the kids. I wish Korea didn't still have such a huge stigma on single parenting or co-parenting where people feel pressured to marry(especially somebody they don't love or sometimes really know) just because the woman is pregnant. I read a statistic a while back because of the numerous articles about the failing birth rate, that Korea needed to change their mindset on single parenting and offering resources so people don't feel marginalized. It stated that in Korea, babies are still born to like 98%married couples which is WELL above the average for most countries. So the idea is loveless or sexless marriages don't shock me when you have people who married for other reasons BUT those.
I really appreciate that you do extensive research when you do these videos. My jaw was on the floor with those stats.
So informative and interesting, Megan. Thank you!
Haven’t watched Megans channel in a while, started again recently. Really enjoying this new format and appreciate the research that goes into it. ❤
Again, thank you so much for the information and not just speculation or gossip. And I like how you end on a positive note: there's no condoning or sugar coating, but it's not hopeless either.
Honestly I think all these points are universal. 90% of what you said in this video can be applied to my country Nigeria
I really love these informative, insightful, candid, and informal style videos. I so look forward to your notifications.
One topic I’m interested in is how Korean couples avoid pregnancy so well? In America teen pregnancy is a lot higher. I myself was very allergic to hormonal birth control and got pregnant at 19 as a result. Why and how is teen pregnancy so low in Korea at least compared to America?
Self control?
@@lilmamagc so abstinence? In America when you speak on teaching abstinence our society throws a fit and instead pushes toxic synthetic hormones on teens that don’t even work.
@@Wtvrflotesurgoatcondoms. Pretty easy man.
Kids lack free time. Also bc education dictates your entire life, most kids probably feel it isn’t worth it. Also birth control even in the form of condoms isn’t a taboo subject nor a symbol of male weakness or whatever like in the US.
Teen pregnancies do happen but the stigma is HUGE! Abortion is also a quiet option (though it needs a man's approval) so I'm guessing there's a lot of unreported statistics on that.
On the other hand, it's a hyper competitive society so most people are having first sexual experiences in their early to mid 20's as opposed to how low it skews in America because more emphasis is placed on education. Many people also live with their parents so in order to have these experiences, you have to go to a motel (a love motel) and that kind of adds up in costs that alot of younger people may not afford if they're in a commited relationship.
But in essence, pre-marital pregnancy is a Big NO, so many couples have shot gun weddings to cover up the shame which again means lower statistics recorded. The rest would just be basic contraception.
Great video! Very well said and informative about Korean culture!😊
I absolutely love this sit down style of video!! I live in the US, but it's just interesting learning about the culture mores in Korea.
i've been watching you since 2016 and if there is one thing i absolutely love about you and your content it's the genuineness and spontaneity that you have. keep it coming! ❤️
Very interested in a video about the elderly poverty on Korea !
Love these short analysis of Korean culture, keep up the good work 🤗
I read a lot of korean manhwa/manhua, and I never understood the weekend only sex. It's really weird to me. Last year, my partner and I worked nights two months straight, 60-72 hours a week/ 12 hour shifts, as nuclear operators. Which is very physical and mentally challenging. We made our 4th child during that time period. We have been together for 17 years.
Very insightful! Thank you for researching this and presenting it to us in a straightforward way.
Wow this video made my stomach hurt 😢 they say the truth may hurt for a moment but a lie hurts forever. Why cant people just be honest with each other. Once, I was talking to a man and at work another man wanted a relationship with me (told everyone and always found me and flirted and tried to give gifts). I was tempted for some unspoken reason like a weird felt chemistry. It was difficult to do this but as soon as I realized the temptation I called my man and admitted what was happening at work and apologized for even being tempted by another man. Just telling the truth alone broke the spell. But also the man I was talking to got dressed in his finest outfits and always picked me up from work after that while staring down the other man like back off. The whole thing felt wholesome and natural human weakness and not a sneaky disgusting thing like lying and cheating.
So glad you're back to creating this content!
the ppl going to prostitutes arent looking for love, they have a sex addiction.
Im so happy I’ve discovered your channel!!!
This was eye opening. Thank u for sharing.
That is so sad this is a very thorough and well put video! Thank you for that! I love learning about other cultures, even the sad parts. I really hope things continue to get better for everyone! I started really noticing these sadder side of the culture when a lot of the K-pop stars were self-illuminating. It just really made me sad because in a mental health is solo priority and these poor young people are under a lot of stress and need understanding more now than ever!
Edit: I was trying to say the poor young K-pop stars are self-eliminating, and that it's just really sad because mental health isn't taken seriously or that so many are made to feel like they're just being weak or complaining or that they need to suck it up.
Such a good but also sad video. Thank you.
I love the talky videos!!!
thank you for this, ive been so curious
Absolutely love your outfit! It's giving Belle from beauty and the beast. 💛
Been watching yo videos since I was 15 I’m about to be 23 now much love from Houston Tx❤
Very interesting. Thanks for the understanding tone.
having a koran grandmother who grew up, until her mid twenties, in 1950s korea give me relationships advice is WILD as an a now american woman lol.
That would make for an interesting video! I would love to see that!
What is her relationship advice??
One of my korean friends only meets his girlfriend once a week. because they're both so busy with work. I was surprised.
Was married to a korean man for 5 years. I caught him cheating (writing to women and buy them dinner so on) a few times he didnt even seem guilty about it and would blame me for going through his phonr, because I made the problem. If I didnt look there would not be a problem he said. I stayed cause I loved him.. Eventually when he got denied to stay in sweden he admitted to sleeping with other women and left me. He found a new girl from england (new victim) he really wanna leave korea lol. And honestly him leaving me is the best thing that happened. Because I learned to love myself and never tolerate that again. Korean men are very misogynistic. Don't believie in kdramas. Its not like that at all!!!
Love this talk show style!
Wow Megan - this was very interesting and seems to be well researched! Great job!
I love this video! I’m currently living in Japan and it’s fascinating to hear some of the similarities and differences.