I Became the First Widower in my Family | Gay Couple

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  • Опубликовано: 6 янв 2025

Комментарии • 64

  • @lgbtqarchives
    @lgbtqarchives  Год назад +19

    𝐏𝐚𝐮𝐥 𝐉𝐚𝐜𝐞𝐤, an actor, comedian and screenwriter from Los Angeles, shares the story of his first love lost to AIDS during the pandemic.

  • @robertnelson7255
    @robertnelson7255 8 месяцев назад +9

    Thank you for sharing such a beautiful story. As the LGBTQ+ community strives to our equal place in society, it's so important to know where we've been.

    • @FerallHog
      @FerallHog 8 месяцев назад

      You have 85 holidays and an entire month. What more do you want?

    • @Mr.grimes-r4m
      @Mr.grimes-r4m 2 месяца назад

      True

  • @Timeless80
    @Timeless80 2 месяца назад +4

    I am so grateful Joe and I met before the Aids Pandemic. I just lost him back in January.Yesterday was his 88th Birthday. We were ten years apart.

  • @GuyT-z7o
    @GuyT-z7o Год назад +26

    So well spoken. So brave. So heartbreakingly real. ❤

  • @donaldauguston9740
    @donaldauguston9740 Год назад +22

    Oh, Paul. I am so sorry for your loss but so proud of your resilience, self-awareness, and strength.

  • @xsw234100
    @xsw234100 Год назад +23

    I lost my lover, my kid brother and my best friend, all within 2 years when this broke out "89-91", then lost at least 75 other acquaintances, lived with the trauma; wondering when my turn would be. Well, for some odd reason, I too, like you, am still here. I rarely watch anything to do with those times, most likely a defense mechanism, but hearing your experience threw me back in time. Lived the covid thing like a rewind of these times when I refused to cave in to the v_c pressure. Nevertheless, I still enjoy life and wish to experience it to the fullest, reminding myself that this is temporary, and when time comes, it will be a totally new adventure. Thank you for posting Paul.

  • @CarlosAndGabriel
    @CarlosAndGabriel Год назад +15

    Oh Paul! After all that, you still smile and use your experiences to teach others. I wish I could hug you right now. Loved your story!

  • @garssympa500
    @garssympa500 Год назад +9

    "Life requires that you continue." This one was too real to be made up. This one had me in tears. Thank you for sharing.

  • @bradd2177
    @bradd2177 Месяц назад +1

    Wow, that was so moving. You had me in tears. So much courage, eloquence and wisdom in your words, Paul. Thank you for sharing your story. Best wishes and big hugs!

    • @lgbtqarchives
      @lgbtqarchives  Месяц назад

      Thank you for checking out the story. Paul is an amazing friend.

  • @ascotberks2018
    @ascotberks2018 8 месяцев назад +5

    Thank you for sharing. Incredible story.

  • @chiusacan18754
    @chiusacan18754 Год назад +4

    Very touchy story. It's so in depth to see this man's resiliance to "put his coat on and go out." Thank you for sharing it....

  • @mluciacp2526
    @mluciacp2526 7 месяцев назад +4

    I am sobbing😢thank you for sharing🙏🏻❤

  • @scarbluff
    @scarbluff 7 месяцев назад +3

    I was so moved by this confrontation with loss and death. Thank you so much for sharing your story with the world.

    • @lgbtqarchives
      @lgbtqarchives  7 месяцев назад

      Thanks a lot for listening to Paul's story.

    • @scarbluff
      @scarbluff 7 месяцев назад +1

      @@lgbtqarchives It is a great lesson in how to confront an end that is inevitable, simply and directly told.

    • @lgbtqarchives
      @lgbtqarchives  7 месяцев назад

      So true. That’s a valuable lesson in itself that we all could benefit from. ❤️

  • @stacyjohnson4498
    @stacyjohnson4498 4 месяца назад +2

    I love "here's your hat, so sorry you have to leave" :)

  • @TheLongjohntim
    @TheLongjohntim 11 месяцев назад +5

    I've been with my husband 32 years I have 2 fears one is dying before him not sure who would care for him. The other is him dying before me I don't think I could live without him.

  • @chrisb7142
    @chrisb7142 10 месяцев назад +2

    So powerful and beautifully spoken. I held up pretty well until the older woman's story during WWII....

  • @Yoofaloof
    @Yoofaloof 4 месяца назад +2

    'More Jim than jar...' That made me laugh.

  • @richardk8821
    @richardk8821 6 месяцев назад +2

    Paul, I am so touched by your story. I don’t know what to say, except you and Jim were incredibly lucky to have loved each other. With much love, Richard (Biloxi, Mississippi).
    PS. My first love was also named Jim.

    • @lgbtqarchives
      @lgbtqarchives  6 месяцев назад +1

      Thank you for checking out Paul’s story. ❤️

  • @SpiderHacksaw
    @SpiderHacksaw Год назад +4

    Thank you. Your words and peace are so beautiful and amazing to witness in this world.

  • @harvey1965
    @harvey1965 Год назад +5

    It really was terrifying time ... not knowing if you'd survive, and expecting that one of your blood tests would come back positive. It was a time of constant fear and loss. Yet, we have survived AND 'yes' I miss so, so many of them.

    • @lgbtqarchives
      @lgbtqarchives  Год назад

      Dear Harvey, if you ever visit Los Angeles, I'd love to meet with you and do an interview for LGBTQ Archives.

  • @mybeautifulboringlife4477
    @mybeautifulboringlife4477 Год назад +2

    Dear Paul, thank you for sharing your story. I am sorry for your loss. Your strength is inspiring.

  • @billzero7274
    @billzero7274 Год назад +6

    I lost so many friends to HIV. I am sorry for your loss. You are a blessing.

  • @skammer2007
    @skammer2007 Год назад +3

    amazing story............thanks for sharing

  • @mattersthatmatter7990
    @mattersthatmatter7990 Год назад +6

    As an LGBT person who will soon be immigrating, the thought of dying as a widow for me or my wife, sends chill down my spine.
    Thank you for showing how your life is carrying on.
    The love is there. 😍

    • @CarlosAndGabriel
      @CarlosAndGabriel Год назад

      That's exactly where I'm at now. Though we're still young, my partner was diagnosed with a number of medical issues. None of which are life-threatening yet, but this whole thing shook me hard. It's such a blessing to know how other gay couples handle issues.

  • @MitchGrooms
    @MitchGrooms Год назад +5

    Great story and story teller too.

  • @singlecatt
    @singlecatt 9 месяцев назад +2

    I'm so sorry for your loss. It is a terrible thing to lose your love. I, like you lost so many dear friends to that dreaded disease.

  • @marcathens2951
    @marcathens2951 Год назад +3

    Thankyou for sharing your story. Hope you have found peace . Your partner was lucky to have have had you in his life. ❤

  • @silmarhonorio
    @silmarhonorio Год назад +5

    Thanks for sharing your story, Paul. ❤❤

  • @mspalmboy
    @mspalmboy 4 месяца назад +2

    Beautiful words.❤

  • @edwarddragan6440
    @edwarddragan6440 Год назад +3

    Fantastic & very educational. Thank U 😄

  • @louisdewit4429
    @louisdewit4429 11 месяцев назад +3

    Paul, you are smashing.
    And you’re my age. 65.
    I lost my ex-partner but remaining my closest friend and likely by now would be my partner again coz we drifted apart coz we were 22 and coming from different countries but very much remained utmost loyal and comfortable with each other, 13 years after we met, also in ‘93 of aids. I was several times with him during his illness. At that time he lived in Israel and i in the Netherlands. 30 Years later i still miss him. Never got that closeness again. But i keep hoping. ❤

  • @joevasquez3434
    @joevasquez3434 11 месяцев назад

    Up state New York is not technically New England, but ok. Sorry for your loss. An Amazing love; and I do hope your heart has re'found love. Hugs Joe.

  • @danehlers9989
    @danehlers9989 6 месяцев назад +1

    Hey Paul ((👋)) I hope this finds you well.

  • @richierichnumber1
    @richierichnumber1 4 месяца назад +1

    Girl, it sounded like you had a splendid time during this period in your lives...God bless you and thank you for speaking up for your partner because, family members can be so cruel to their gay loved ones for just coming out and being gay add the disease HIV & AIDS to the picture and those same people can be out right insensitive, judgemental, and out right evil. For example, heard the horror stories, that the other half's family wouldn't let the beloved partner get invited to the funeral or even let the party know when or where he service was. Yes, this was long before gay marriage got passed, but even then I know how wicked & homophobic my own self-rious some of my siblings could be so I put everything in writing.

    • @lgbtqarchives
      @lgbtqarchives  4 месяца назад

      Yes, Paul has had a crazy life. He's extremely active to this day.

  • @harbon54
    @harbon54 Год назад +2

    Sorry for your lost

  • @johncurtain2516
    @johncurtain2516 5 месяцев назад +1

  • @paulbotaslillington6828
    @paulbotaslillington6828 Год назад +1

    ❤😊

  • @FCM357
    @FCM357 Год назад +1

    Thank you 🌿

  • @bridgetisjonesing5007
    @bridgetisjonesing5007 Год назад +2

    And the woman was a former nun? The devil really does disguise itself in very safe ways.

  • @sivabalankaniapan8786
    @sivabalankaniapan8786 Год назад +2

    it is so devastating to hear this.

  • @noelsmith5760
    @noelsmith5760 3 месяца назад

    My first partner has 21 years older than me. And my second partner is 16 years older than me. I love them both, coz they love me so much.
    I decide to have 2nd partner coz my 1st is life far from me.
    Both of them are married with woman, first with 3 kids and 2nd has 2 kids. Coz I love older married man.
    The first we dated from 2009. And second from 2019.

  • @teams3345
    @teams3345 15 дней назад +1

    I am so sorry. She does not deserve your respect.

  • @chateau7
    @chateau7 11 месяцев назад +1

    So many just "vanished." Before cell phones and email, etc., I don't know what happened to so many friends that I used to know before.

  • @kenyadarobinson9138
    @kenyadarobinson9138 Год назад +4

    🔴🟠🟡🟢🔵🟣

  • @Clemburke1111
    @Clemburke1111 Год назад +1

    that whole time period I thought I had AIDS

    • @lgbtqarchives
      @lgbtqarchives  Год назад +1

      I'm sure even a slight headache would totally drive people crazy. Just like COVID, except that was way worse.

  • @janineford7816
    @janineford7816 Год назад +1

    I just lost my best friend

    • @lgbtqarchives
      @lgbtqarchives  Год назад

      Dear Janine, I'm truly sorry to hear that. I hope you have some good people in your life who could comfort you in person. Much love ❤

    • @karlwolf8703
      @karlwolf8703 11 месяцев назад

      I’m so sorry for your loss! Hugs to you!

  • @atrocchia
    @atrocchia 6 месяцев назад +1

    Grief and mourning immobilizes you for a period of time. It all seems unreal.

  • @danehlers9989
    @danehlers9989 6 месяцев назад +1

    🙄

  • @ggcattt7529
    @ggcattt7529 Год назад +4

    Jesus loves you so much 🤍