Growing Up Gay | Del Stone

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  • Опубликовано: 17 дек 2024

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  • @lgbtqarchives
    @lgbtqarchives  Год назад +6

    More from Del:
    Straight Crush: ruclips.net/video/WI7Z3pF2wic/видео.html

  • @clivebasson7831
    @clivebasson7831 9 месяцев назад +3

    Thanks for sharing Del - sounds so much like my early life!

  • @ATLcentury334
    @ATLcentury334 Год назад +16

    Del, thank you for sharing your story. I know how the disappointment you must feel is. I grew up in the 60’s and 70’s. The first time I realized I might feel attracted to men was when I was about 4. My folks and I were on vacation and I had the whole backseat to myself. I don’t know why I did it, but I had my G.I. Joe out, and I suddenly thought he needed chest hair. I took a brown crayon and started to solve the problem. When I realized what I’d done, I thought, how am I going to get rid of him without my folks seeing what I did. He ended up in the covered outdoor trash can at the Holiday Inn we were staying at.
    I knew from then on I was different. And the first time I saw James Franciscus in “Beneath the Planet of the Apes”, I figured I was gay. I was the one in school who was called every name in the book. I was glad when I graduated. After a year, I began attending a local college. I met my first boyfriend then. I couldn’t pass him off as a friend from school because he was 15 years older. After about 11 months my folks forced me to tell them what was going on. It wasn’t pretty. They gave me 30 minutes to pack what I wanted, leave the keys to the car they gave me the year before, and get out.
    I dragged my luggage to a pay phone, called my boyfriend, who then came to pick me up. There were lots of tears, he finally got me calmed down enough to fall asleep. I had no idea what I was going to do. I called a gay attorney who asked if the car was in my name. I said yes, he told me to go and get my car. My folks were going to be away at a family party. I kept an extra key to the house, my boyfriend and I went back to pack as much as we could, and I found the keys to my car. My dad wasn’t happy. He called demanding I bring the car back “TODAY!”. I told him if he wanted to talk to my attorney he could, but since the title was in my name, there wasn’t anything he could do. I hung up.
    My boyfriend took me around to all of the high end restaurants in the area. I found a job waiting tables that day, and started that night. I worked my way up on the floor and made good money. We had many celebrities visit, it was a fun atmosphere.
    I know you’ll appreciate this, when I was very young, my favorite show was “Lost in Space”. Will Robinson was my hero, I wanted to be him. One day after lunch rush, the owner asked if I’d wait on his parents that night. He said his brother in law was in town and would be dining with them. I asked why he was in town. “Oh, he’s in town for some comic book convention” “when he was a boy he was an actor” I asked who he was. “His name is Bill Mumy, have you ever heard of him?”. I almost had a stroke. I was going to get to meet my hero, in a few hours. When they arrived, there he was, red hair and electric smile. He was very kind and friendly. From then on whenever he was in town, he always asked for me. We were talking once about the show. He asked which episode was my favorite. I told him “Visit to a Hostile Planet”. I told him I hadn’t seen it in years because I didn’t have cable. A few weeks later a bulky yellow envelope arrived. It was from California. In it was a VHS tape, an 8x10 autographed head shot and a note. He had dubbed my favorite episode, his favorite episode, and the pilot onto the tape. He wrote he hoped I had fun watching the tape. I was more than floored.
    The next time he was in town, I couldn’t thank him enough. He was in town for another convention. He asked if I wasn’t busy Sunday, he was staying at the Ritz Carlton. He wanted me to come by, have breakfast with him, and go in his limousine to the show as his guest.
    The owner wouldn’t let me off to go. I was disappointed, but Bill understood.
    I’m sorry for writing a book here, but your story reminded me of when I was young. My husband and I have been together 33 years. The love and devotion I feel from him is real and sometimes I feel undeserving. I know I’m lucky. Thanks again Del.

    • @michaeldonofrio6759
      @michaeldonofrio6759 9 месяцев назад +4

      That's a hell of a story. You should be a presenter on this series.

    • @joecaprani5772
      @joecaprani5772 24 дня назад

      Another big LiS fan here, Guy Williams was the focus of my attention (always had a thing for older men 😉).

  • @T77pt
    @T77pt Год назад +20

    Everything he had to say about homosexuality in the fifties and sixties was accurate.

  • @LenHealsU
    @LenHealsU Год назад +13

    Thank you so much for sharing Del! It hit right home. I also wish I had a time machine for the same reason. I was born February 9, 1948, which means I'm now 75 years young. Although I had my 1st experience when I was 12 (I was seduced by another boy in my junior high school class) and loved it. If I state all the details I will be writing for a month. I didn't know anything about Gay; I thought everybody had those feelings and grew out of them eventually. I told my parents because I was scared (health wise) what we did. My Mom freaked out big time (not in anger but in fear), but my Dad was as calm and understanding as a cucumber. although he sided with my Mom saying it was "sick" and only perverts do that, he was still calm + understanding. That instilled an internal homophobia, which cost me a lot of lost potential long term relationships. By the way, the reason my Dad was so calm when I told him is that he has a brother (my uncle) who never married and was suspect for Gay. When I was in my 20s I bumped into him at a Gay beach in Atlantic City (I'm originally from Philadelphia, now living in San Diego). I don't know if my Dad knew about my uncle officially or just suspected. But that's why he was so calm and kind of understanding.
    When I was 18, I had a major crush on a friend 16. I knew he wanted it just as much as I did, but we were both too scared to act upon it, for fear of vicious gossip, harassment, vandalism, and worse. After all, we had the same circle of Straight friends and our families all knew each other. And of course the year was 1966. Fast forwarding, we lost contact, but fairly recently I found out that he had been in the military in Vietnam in the early 1970s, contacted that Agent Orange, which ultimately took his life. I would've, should've, could've, but didn't. If only I weren't so scared, worried about what others would think or (possibly) do, I could have changed that whole scenario, where we could have had a long loving life together forever. That "what if" still haunts me to this very day. Bottom line: Don't sacrifice your happiness just to please others, many of whom you don't even know. Being Gay is NOT a choice, no more than being left-handed instead of right-handed is a choice. Although I did come out to some select friends way back then, I came out to more long time Straight friends and family members in the past year and a half than I did since all the years I was born put together! And you know, I can finally breathe!

  • @KevBear715
    @KevBear715 7 месяцев назад +3

    Thank you for sharing your story! Man! Your story and mine have a lot of similar experiences! Hugs!

  • @billzero7274
    @billzero7274 Год назад +12

    It's not to late for you to find a loving partner!!

  • @tomhaywood8619
    @tomhaywood8619 Год назад +10

    Hello Del. I was born four years after you in 1959. I so, understand what you had gone through. When I was 4 or 5 in 1963-64 I remember watching Dr. Kildaire starring "Richard Chamberlain" remember him? LOL! I looked at him and had feelings for him that I didn't think was right to have. I remember feeling scared and alone. As I grew in the mid to late 60s I became more and more withdrawn and I would hide my fears by eating. I had four older sisters that were absolutely no help whatsoever and my Father was a great man, but told me that he would never accept it (although, I had some feelings that he could be hiding his truth)? My Mother was my VERY best friend EVER! I did have A LOT of regrets and I still do, but at 64yrs. old I try to not allow my past to dictate my future. I graduated high school in June 1977 and by November 1977 I became a steward (flight attendant) for Pan American until they closed in 1991. I then went over to Delta, I retired from the Aviation Industry in 2006. When I look back as to why I chose that career was because of being in an environment that had many men like me, and yes, loved the Aviation World back then, too! Today, I am a certified bereavement counselor. After graduating, I volunteered my svcs. at a Hospice House. I had this inspiring man (a patient) who happened to be gay, he was 89yrs. old. One-day as I was talking to him on his death bed he started to talk about the love of is life. The man that he was talking about was on his way to the Hospice House with a birthday cake and some friends, to celebrate John's birthday. While John and I were still alone and talking he said to me that he had no regrets and even though he met his true love at the age of 69 they still had a great 20yrs. together! That was in 2013 and to this day I think back to John and realize that it's never to late. I know its hard to have no regrets, but don't let anything get in the way of your happiness, that you and so many of us deserve! All the Best, Tom

    • @joecaprani5772
      @joecaprani5772 24 дня назад

      Tom, thanks, that is brilliant. I so wanted to give an encouraging "it's never too late" for Del, but it feels a bit facile having got together with my husband when I was 30, he was 55. But you're absolutely right and you relating the tale of John in the hospice supports that.

    • @tomhaywood8619
      @tomhaywood8619 23 дня назад +1

      Thank You, Joe! Your words are very kind. How are you and your husband doing today!

    • @joecaprani5772
      @joecaprani5772 23 дня назад

      ​@@tomhaywood8619I'm well, sadly he's not so great. Diagnosed with Parkinson's a year ago, so I now care full time for him. Been a bit of a rollercoaster, but we're keeping our heads above water. Some days are v challenging, some a lot less so. We'll keep on keeping on. Take care, Joe

  • @SWExplore
    @SWExplore 8 месяцев назад +7

    Dear Del, I am a 69 year old gay man who was also born in 1955. Our life stores are very similar in some ways but not in others. I was brought up in a Catholic household that also did not talk about anything homosexual. I've got so many stories that I will soon share in a document recording at LGBTQ Archives. Your story touched my heart because I could so identify with your feelings and what your life has brought you. Love is the key to everything in life and I only wished that everyone understood that. I think you are quite attractive today. We are both lucky to be alive and to experience the good days ahead, and they are good days ahead. /Steve

    • @pompom11
      @pompom11 4 месяца назад +1

      Greetings, here also 1955 a certified baby boomer.

  • @edwardwilliams2438
    @edwardwilliams2438 Год назад +4

    Mr. Stone... your experience mirrored a great many of us from the baby boomer era. Fortunately... the time table was forgiving. With a little research and persistence I was able to find a few members of my "tribe". A lot of us married or became priests and hid our dispositions...sadly. Society was always afraid of the "other" be it race,creed,religion,political or social status. I guess growing up secretly gay is almost like being straight without that special "gene". As a species...we are so judgemental and jaded...especially with the media scenario of the 21st century. Del...you appear to have weathered the situation fairly well...at least on the surface. I do hope you have been in rewarding friendships and relationships that has molded your special personality. Thanks for your positive reflections...Kudos!!!

    • @lgbtqarchives
      @lgbtqarchives  Год назад

      Dear Edward, thanks a lot for posting this comment. If you ever decide to share your experience with our community as a video, please do let me know. Thanks ❤️

    • @edwardwilliams2438
      @edwardwilliams2438 Год назад +2

      @@lgbtqarchives I thank you in advance for the offer. But,at a diminished 77 years young...I would have very little wisdom or reflection to add to your archives. But,I do appreciate the offer Del.

  • @RT3319
    @RT3319 Год назад +3

    What a powerful and moving story - well articulated. Del, one never gets too old to fall in love (again). Don't give up on love. Emily Dickinson wrote, "Hope is a thing with feathers that perches in the soul, yet asks not a crumb of me.." Wishing you the very best in health, laughter and love that life may offer. Anyway, some guy somewhere, sometime is going to be absolutely captivated by your beautiful eyes and loving demeanor (and, no, I'm not flirting - that's just a fact). Respectfully from Yakima, WA.

  • @lukashasselNY
    @lukashasselNY 11 месяцев назад +4

    Also, you can't change the past but here you are on youtube publicly claiming back your life as a gay man. That is special. All you can do is move forward.

  • @rkeller8141
    @rkeller8141 7 месяцев назад +2

    Born in 45 and knew my life was going to be hell because of my attraction to men. Swimming at the local pool I had to walk through the locker room, my raging attraction was focused on not getting a woody. I struggled everyday, trying to be 100 percent male, and contemplated death as a way out. Remembering my Mother asking me, in mockery, if I was one of those fancy boys on the corner? I said no, because I didn’t identify with being fancy. I regret not telling her. I admire those now, who are out and proud, but the 50s and 60s did a number on me, and no doubt many others.

  • @shaunboyce2184
    @shaunboyce2184 Год назад +2

    Hi Del. Thanks for sharing honestly, I relate to your experience of growing up , learning about being gay & navigating your world. Try not to regret, I am sure you did the best with the resources at your disposal. Life is quite mysterious , I try to accept my life as it is. Maybe there is someone special you have yet to meet & fulfill your dreams Best wishes!!!

  • @atrocchia
    @atrocchia Год назад +2

    I appreciate and admire your honesty.

  • @Dmytro-fu6wf
    @Dmytro-fu6wf 5 месяцев назад +2

    Hello from Ukraine . Only recently has something started to change in the legislation. According to Ukrainian laws, you dont exist, your rights arent protected in any way and you cannot enter into a same-sex partnership. Since childhood, my mother bullied me all the time because of my orientation; at the age of 15, I was subjected to constant humiliation and was reduced to a state of outright schizophrenia; subsequently we stopped communicating. Now I'm 21 and I live alone, abandoned by everyone and unneeded by no one.
    I completely share your pain. And I hope someday the time will come that in all countries there will be no persecution for same-sex love 💙💛

  • @ofrabjousday1
    @ofrabjousday1 11 месяцев назад +2

    Del, I thought you were talking about me. I'm 9 years younger than you are, but I found myself nodding from beginning to the end of your story, regrets included. I met the man of my life at the age of 35, to whom I'd lost my virginity. Prior to that, it was exclusively sex with women, which I secretly hated, but had to do. Unfortunately, 4 years into our relationship, he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. He fought for his life with me, but we lost in 2003. And like you, I've had encounters, but nothing relationship-oriented. At 60, I've decided to give up. Thanks for your story. For 15 minutes, I felt less alone!

  • @larrymaso9441
    @larrymaso9441 Год назад +5

    Ditto...
    We are the same age and I have the same regrets.

  • @julienickell
    @julienickell 2 месяца назад +1

    I found a column of his. Very good. I write for a newspaper and am wanting to write regular columns and boy is it difficult to come up with ideas. Does anyone recall Mike Hippler? Anyway, what a great writer and interesting video. I enjoyed Del's story. He seems like a great guy and I hope he finds a relationship don't you?

    • @lgbtqarchives
      @lgbtqarchives  2 месяца назад

      Del is an amazing man. I'm glad you were able to track down some of the columns he wrote. Is this a new area that you're exploring, or you've been an author for a while?

  • @lukashasselNY
    @lukashasselNY 11 месяцев назад +4

    Sorry you never met your soul mate, but don't give up.

  • @ELMETAWY64
    @ELMETAWY64 Год назад +1

    E' stato molto onesto con se stesso e questo traspare dal suo racconto. E' una persona vera che parla di quello che gli è successo veramente nella vita. Questa persona è da apprezzare e mi fa venir voglia di voler lui bene ed essergli amico, dal momento che l'amicizia, quella autentica, supera tutti gli stereotipi, il tempo e le stagioni della vita. Mi sentivo di scriverlo e non solo di pensarlo. Un saluto e gli auguri per tutto quello che per lui è importante che si realizzi.

  • @jamesmoody3026
    @jamesmoody3026 5 месяцев назад +2

    Darling that was me until I met the love of my life 18 years ago. X

  • @optimumreality9745
    @optimumreality9745 Год назад +3

    💙💙💙

  • @tomjones240
    @tomjones240 Год назад +1

    Del thank you for sharing your story. I was born in 1954 and I think I knew I was different from other boys in elementary school.
    My first real experience was on my 21st birthday and it was scary.

  • @onumaytuu
    @onumaytuu Год назад +3

    How unfortunate ! He knew from the age of 4 years old where his desires lye , but because of societal pressures gave-up his happiness . There has gay people around since there has been air , it is nothing new . But when boys are in homes where the affection and live are not discussed then they are stunted , emotionally . I have watched older men talk about how they were in denial , afraid to come out . Yes it was risky , but what is alternative ? Misery .

  • @TrishCacek
    @TrishCacek Месяц назад

    Hi! Got in.

  • @flyjet787
    @flyjet787 Год назад +4

    Really sorry to learn you've never had a LTR.....😢

    • @stephencotton2694
      @stephencotton2694 Год назад +1

      Why sorry it just didn't happen many people are in marriage situations for yrs and can't stand each other a LTR is not the Holy grail of life you can still have a happy life

    • @georgH
      @georgH 9 месяцев назад

      That's correct, you can have a fulfilling life without ltr, but he said he wanted to but couldn't, so it's perfectly sensible to be sorry

    • @stephencotton2694
      @stephencotton2694 9 месяцев назад

      @@georgH being sorry won't change nothing now it's passed him by he's probably better off

  • @pompom11
    @pompom11 4 месяца назад +1

    But, up to age 14 you said you messed around with boys, something I NEVER knew about. We are the same age born 1955 and no one in my old neighborhood talked about sex of any kind. I remember as teenagers a guy kissed a girl on my street. I knew nothing I missed out on so much queer comfort. 😕

    • @lgbtqarchives
      @lgbtqarchives  4 месяца назад

      It's possible that Del was just referring to the things boys did. I'd say back then kids were way more innocent.

  • @flyjet787
    @flyjet787 Год назад +2

    Society was essentially the same when I was coming of age in the 1980's (born in '69). We could expect to be disowned, harassed, beaten or killed.

    • @lgbtqarchives
      @lgbtqarchives  Год назад +1

      It’s a shame that people have to live a pretend life to meet certain standards that shouldn’t apply to them. It only backfires and ultimately everyone suffers including the ones who were responsible for it. It’s not like most people don’t have a gay coworker, neighbor or even a family member.

    • @melvinsanders9720
      @melvinsanders9720 6 месяцев назад

      you just need to live out your feelings

    • @melvinsanders9720
      @melvinsanders9720 6 месяцев назад

      cuz my first time was in the miltary and i was approach by my boss son

    • @melvinsanders9720
      @melvinsanders9720 6 месяцев назад

      but when i was younger i would play with my freind on the bus

  • @asia888
    @asia888 10 месяцев назад +2

    ❤ ❤❤

  • @kennethong1286
    @kennethong1286 10 месяцев назад +1

    Be strong

  • @DulalkrishnaDas-r8t
    @DulalkrishnaDas-r8t 11 месяцев назад +3

    I love you

  • @simongrant5677
    @simongrant5677 2 дня назад

    I like u, Del Stone. In fact, I’m attracted to ur innocent look. I hope u don’t mind my saying so. Cheers. SG

  • @Philip-ll3ds
    @Philip-ll3ds Месяц назад +1

  • @brendatrump5163
    @brendatrump5163 Год назад +1

    Straight people experience the same kinds of things when it comes to relationships. I fell madly in love with a man and didn't tell him for years and one day he took advantage of my love and just used me like he did all of the other girls. I kept hoping he would fall in love with me but it never happened so I chose to stop letting him use me because it was destroying me.

    • @lgbtqarchives
      @lgbtqarchives  Год назад +1

      Brenda, it's good to hear experiences from a straight person's perspective. These are parallel experiences. I guess the hardest part is to be able to identify the issue while you're in that situation. When you're in love with someone, it's really hard to see the red flags.

    • @brendatrump5163
      @brendatrump5163 Год назад

      My heart is fully healed now from that experience but it made me never to want to be in a relationship again. I'm happy just having my best friend and my Lord now.@@lgbtqarchives