Are you considering crossposting VODs or Twitch clips on RUclips at all? I'm very bad at watching streams in real time but would be interested in seeing bits of your streams.
@@MaeveGreising Likely not! Or at least not at the moment. She's said before that she enjoys the temporary nature of twitch vods. They're available on twitch to watch for several months after they're live though, and you don't even need an account to watch!
I love that this comment section is full of 30ish-year-olds who used to watch Charlie as a teenager, and we've all been on our own self-discovery journeys through life only to come back together again to support and celebrate this wonderful human
Aww this made me teary in combination with seeing Charlie! Sending all you millennials love! May the next chapter treat us well, the world hasn't been easy on us ❤❤❤
I remember when Charlie asked her fans to talk to her in public when they happen to meet and scream: "I found you Charlie!" and they would get a little pin. Turns out: Charlie has found herself. I am so happy for you!
I remember way back in the day, you were doing a Q+A and someone asked you what your name would be if you were born a girl, and you answered "Charlie." And I kind of love that it actually came to fruition. Congratulations. I'm so happy for you.
I am so glad you are able to be yourself. I am the mom of a trangender girl. She always played female characters in video games. I guessed it was no surprise when she asked if I would mind if she wanted to be a girl. I have been a fan of yours since your Doctor Who days. Also we have the same birthday, October 1st. Happy birthday early.❤
I used to dye my hair red and play that video while I did it so I felt like I was doing it with a friend 🥹 It’s weirdly emotional to see the red hair again haha
Funnily enough, YOU caused a lot of my early moments. Started watching you in 2007 when I was 7 years old, and I *DESPERATELY* wanted to look like you. I felt such a strange Interest in you and Fascination with you that I now know was gender envy. I met you in 2016, a month after I began to transition, and I got to tell you that my name was Charlie. Funny how gender moments can happen long before anyone realises what's happening. Love and solidarity
i love this story and tbh i was today years old realizing she was my transition goals as a questioning middle schooler (2008)..."it'll look like a boy" lit a fire in me.
This resonates deeply with me as well. I didn't choose the name Charlie ONLY because I wanted my initials to stay the same. I was also 'misgendered' as a kid and pre-transition adult and I liked the way it felt. I feel bad that society easily accepts those who are more masculine. Most transguys can fly under the radar without too many mean comments about their clothes pre-transition.
This feels like hanging out with a friend whom I haven't seen in a long time. I'm so happy to hear that you are absolutely living your best life. Thank you so much for sharing your story, as it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Representation is incredibly important, and it looks like your experience is resonating with so many lovely people in the comments. You're a beautiful woman, inside and out. ❤️
Right! Charlie was one of the people who got me through high school, not necessarily in the deep and meaningful way, but by making me laugh and cheering me up. I watched her videos allll the time, constantly showing my friends, etc.
I'm guessing Birdy the Mighty Decode is on it. I LOVED it in college and in addition to the gender stuff it had really fantastically well-animated action and fight scenes!
You look so... comfortable? secure? serene? I don't know exactly what the right word is but I'm happy for you that you've found yourself and your place in the world after inspiring so many people for so many years.
The reason you look so beautiful is because you look so comfortable and confident! I feel honored to be here as you step forth as your genuine self. I think 27-33 years old is our generation's chrysalis stage, I appreciate and see all the hard mental work you did before you got here, I know how hard it was, but your hard work has paid off now! Much love from a long-time viewer!
Honestly, that's part of it, but she does also have feminine features and I think for her sake it's important to say that. She's always had a delicate face that leaned toward androgyny and she looks extremely feminine with how she styles herself these days. She's not just beautiful because of how she carries herself, she's also a very pretty woman just by virtue of her good looks. That's important for self-esteem too.
Wow. As a 29 year old I love this. Chrysalis stage means there's more beauty and exciting things to come. I really do feel like I'm becoming more and more myself (in large part because of finding out about and learning to navigate and accept my neurodivergency). I'm glad other people of my generation have similar feelings because it can be alienating to think that I should've had it all figured out by now. Thank you for that metaphor!
When I was like 13 my best friend asked me to close my eyes and sit on my bed. I remember thinking “it would be okay if she kissed me right now. That would be fine.” I’m a lesbian now.
when i was 11 i was at my friends house and i lied on the bed and envisioned myself wearing a dress and i asked my friend if it would feel better to be/make love as a girl. Hi im a woman now :)
Omg similarly when I was 13 I asked my best friend to close her eyes and asked if I could “try something”. We kissed and she asked if we could “try again” so we did 😭 we’re also both gay now lol
I used to have a crush on one of my best friends and whenever she got a new boyfriend, I would be secretly pissed and telling her he’s not as cute as she thought or he’s not the right guy for her. Whenever she felt sad or she had issues, I would take that opportunity to hold her and talk to her. When I was with her, I often behaved like an annoying boy around his girl crush. Gosh I was so clueless back then… didn’t know gender identity was a thing. I’m now 99% sure that I should be transgendered, but I know my family will NEVER accept that and I honestly don’t want those hormone injections in my body. I’ve spent my mid-20s trying to understand my gender issues and now I’m still a very confused 30 y/o… I honestly wish I was just normal and not having to deal with this kind of crap.
As someone who watched you as a teen, grew up to find out that I’m trans, then found you again years later I cried when I realized that you were like me and that you’d grown to be accepting of people like me instead of some other people I used to watch who grew to become horrible hateful people. I’m happy you’ve found yourself and that you’ve continued to be such a light all these years later, happy to be watching you again just like the old days. Love you Charlie
I’m a therapist, and I definitely downplay how much I know about autism and the community bc I think I’m autistic and idk if my office is ready for that yet 😅 but my psych said to me, more or less, that diagnosed or not, the autistic kids in my office are going to sense that I understand them, and they’ll know without me naming it. It made me cry, because it’s really exactly how we all find each other and then come out or learn who we are one at a time, but we knew without naming it the whole time. 💛
It's wild how many friends and family you realize are autistic once you know what being autistic is *really* like, rather than media portrayals. I always try to let my friends know if I suspect they might be, just because it's been such a liberating discovery in my life. I hope you can relish in being your autistic self and sharing that wonderfulness with your clients!
Can confirm! I was an aba therapist (I know, I know, long story, regretful past) for a few years before I had really allowed myself to accept that I was autistic and related so hard to my kids, it felt like we had such a different bond/understanding than they did with some of the others and I didn't really realize why until later.
My super “trans in hindsight” moment came when I was 8 and I went to girl scouts camp. They told us to “bring a costume” with us to camp. My little sister wore our princess costume, and I told my parents I wanted to dress as a boy for my costume. Bless their hearts they were into it and I brought by closet drag to camp. We get to camp and it turns out it’s “countries of the world” themed and they assumed (correctly) that every little girl would come as a princess and we were going to have princess tea. I was the only kid there who didn’t bring a princess costume so it was 49 little princesses and me the 8yo drag king. We had to say what country we were the princess of, and I got to be the prince of Mexico (my favourite country at the time) and it was one of the weirdest experiences of my life.
I love these examples because they are so real and specific. It reminds me of the phrase "the more specific a story is, the more universal it becomes." I hope others feel seen and understood by hearing your experiences
Growing up as a queer teenager, I always felt like you curated such a safe and fun place on your channel. Im so happy for you, and wish you the best on your journey
Charlie, I'm so glad to see you again. You were such a warm, wholesome corner of the internet, and you still are. I'm so happy to see you happy, and I hope all your days are filled with endless joy and love forever. Love you so much, and thanks for being such a soft person who feels like a friend. 🥰
You were one of my early RUclips days favorites (you still are). And after learning about this makes me just so damn proud of you. You are one of the reasons I am a RUclipsr now. Love you
I'm ace, which I realized in my early 20s. I had my first boyfriend at about 15, and one day at school this girl I kind of knew was talking about how my boyfriend was cute and that she thought it'd be nice to kiss him. I responded by saying "ew". Out loud. About my own boyfriend. Needless to say she was pretty confused by my reaction. I still laugh thinking about it.
I learned about possibility of being ace in my late 20s. I am not sure what type of ace I am, also that I might be demi- romantic a bit. Growing up I felt so weirded out that people start dating just based of looks and then properly learn about the other person. I always felt like I really need to know the person to be comfortable. I think tho I did have sort of crush on some boys... tho hard to say, always wanted to draw people I liked... not kiss or anything... Gosh I hate that I got sucked into that idea that being single is miserable and that I am not hitting the milestones I should have... and went along with it before I learned there is more possibilities....
God if that ain’t a mood. lol (I’m ace as well 😊) I wasn’t particularly repulsed by the idea of kissing my first (mostly long distance) boyfriend for the first time, though. In fact, I had been hyping it up a ton in my head. But then, when we finally kissed, I felt… nothing. No disgust, but no spark or fireworks or anything like that either. It was just a press of lips, nothing more. Needless to say, I was quite upset at the time, since I loved everything else about my boyfriend. After he had gone home, I even cried about it to my mom, because I felt broken. That was back when I was 18, though. I realized I was ace when I was 29 (at literally a week away from my 30th b-day), and it’s honestly been a _huge_ relief since. (Though, I’m still biromantic, and it would still be nice to find a partner who just likes to cuddle, play video games together, and have deep philosophical conversations about the universe. 😅)
I just realized that your red hair is giving so much Amy Pond vibes, I love it! Thank you for coming back to my youtube inbox and sharing your story, I recognized a lot of my thoughts of denial in yours.
I feel grateful that you are in a space to be vulnerable with us. I have followed you for over 15 years and each season and version of yourself that you've been in has inspired me. Thank you.
I met a trans boy when I was like 9, this was in 2010. My only knowlege of transgender people had come from them popping up on the TV very breifly with the media purposfully showing them as taboo, and my family calling it weird. So meeting a trans child as a child was very confusing for me at the time. I remember asking him a million questions and I thought about him for years. (came out at 16 with overwhelmimg support from mother and sisters 🥳)
Can I just say how absolutely GORGEOUS this hair color looks on you! Also, you said how you were upset with how you looked in drag thinking you'd be prettier, as a cis-gendered woman, I totally felt that. I'm constantly comparing myself to other people and never feel like I'm pretty enough so I just wanted to say, YOU'RE GORGEOUS❤
i remember watching you when i was a teenager, now i’m a trans-activist in russia and work to stop the spread of HIV among trans people, especially those in sex work. i was so happy to see you back! and i’m so happy you continue making videos. being a public trans person is so difficult, i can’t even imagine, but i hope the voices of love and support drown out all the rest. you are amazing! thank you for sharing your life and thank you for being such a bright presence on the internet 💛 you are very loved 🥰
wow! what an amazing line of work. it must be very very fufilling. please be safe ❤ and take care. know you are doing the lords work (or whatever force of the universe you believe in or don’t!)
I never go out of my way to comment on RUclips videos, but this is such a pleasant surprise to see you back in such a beautiful way. You brought me so much joy as a kid and I'm so glad you get to experience some of that joy for yourself. Sending massive amounts of love your way!!
When I was a little girl (ftm here) I would wear my wellies 24/7 because I hated real shoes. Until my dad as a joke called me "Rubber boot Jack" Then I would wear them to be called Jack 😂
I was raised as a girl. I dressed up as a man for Halloween when I was 15 and went trick or treating with a bunch of dudes. At one house I was the last to approach and the Mom-type asked me what my costume was. I told her and she yelled “oh!!” like I had startled her. As I walked away I felt this warm comforting feeling spread all over that someone thought I was absolutely no doubt, a boy.
Feeling bad when "cross dressing" when younger because you wanted to look better in it than you actually ended up looking is one of the most relatable things.
I think it's also a quite common experience for many women, cis or not. Not all of us are pretty and not all of us have the most feminine bodies and faces.
Still not fully sure of my identity but I remember seeing some kind of wedding commercial as a kid, with a bride and groom in it, and wishing I could marry a woman instead of a man lol. I was so young at the time I didn't know queer people existed or that some people did indeed have partners of the same gender.
I remember watching her back in business school like around 2009 and she was colouring her hair red and now after all these years she’s back to being ginger 🎉 well done Charlie keep shining brightly❤
As the "girl twin" with a "boy twin" brother, I had a lot of gender stereotypes thrown at me my whole life. My things are pink, his are blue. But we didn't always confirm in nice little boxes. When our parents got me a toy kitchen and him a toy seesaw for Xmas, we literally crossed paths and ran to the other one's toy. He always enjoyed bringing his dinosaurs to my dollhouse (honestly, so did I, so much more interesting). And because I was a little tougher than him, our peers would often comment that I acted more like a boy and he acted more like a girl. Neither of us is trans. But comments like that did upset me and make me question what I was. I remember being really relieved and happy to get my period (besides disliking the cramps and mess, obviously) because I wanted confirmation that I was, am, will always be female. I think we always know who we are down deep, we just have to listen to ourselves and reject the noise. Glad to see you being you, Charlie
Yep! Not only are these stereotypes hurtful for trans people, but they're hurtful to cis people too! I was always more of a "tomboy" and because of that I was raised to think femininity was disgusting or wrong. So I would wear baggy tshirts to hide boobs, would even call myself boy names and play pretend as a boy a lot. Kids need to be told its okay to be a girl and like "masculine" things, and that it's okay for boys to like "feminine" things.
@@MWBlueNoodlesActually, most children go through a development stage where they question their gender identity, usually right before or during cmthe initial stages of puberty. A great majority pass through it and affirm their birth assigned gender.
I also grew up enjoying “boys toys”, wearing “boy shorts”, literally a tomboy as a teenager, but I was never attracted to girls or thought of the possibility of being a boy 🤷♀️ as an adult I still feel like I’m more male than female, but I’m ok with that, I found contentment being like that.
That must have been hard for you. I have two months old twins, boy and girl. Even though my husband and I are very open about our dislike of throwing gender stereotypes at your kids, people always get us (and we're so thankful for all the presents) blue and red stuff and things like that. It's like it should be even more obvious which gender they are because they are a boy and a girl. But why 🤷🏽
We should get rid of the concepts of femininity and masculinity in the first place. We wouldn’t have to ‘trans’ our gender, if we could be whatever we like regardless of what our sex is. As a woman from Korea where transgender is a less familiar concept, it just makes me sad that people will have to take pills and change their physical features because their characteristics do not match the social norms of being a woman or a man. Sad. Be whatever you like; don’t go through surgeries and negate your biological sex. A woman is a woman, and a man is a man.
As a trans man, I am so happy to see that this comment section is so supportive and kind, including the cis people commenting. I see so much hate for trans people all over the internet these days and it’s really sad. I love cis allies! you guys are goated ❤ it’s good to see ya!
@@brett6905lmao no one asked or cares. if tolerance is that triggering to some, they should get help since it’s clearly a useless power struggle. we don’t care about ur shit justifications for being hateful. being uncomfortable isn’t an excuse to harass others who haven’t even asked to be accepted by them. trans people have never cared about cis peoples opinions. they’ve ALWAYYYS been hated. by white people anyway.
@@brett6905and JK rowling is a huge racist AND says violent nasty things. if you think that’s the only reason, you’re just hopping on a bandwagon lmao. jk rowling should’ve been quiet with her hate if she couldn’t handle the heat. again, no one cares whether you people like trans people or not. just don’t go around trying to convince others you people aren’t so bad lmao when that’s clearly not the case. the cognitive dissonance is real
Thinking ppl could only be gay or straight, and I liked boys. But saying to my friends A LOT in high school that I wished I was lesbian. Thinking that the outside world thought my closest friend and I were a couple and me wanting to play into that in front of people by holding her hand…Took me till I was 21 to finally get told by a friend “I think you are bi, and that’s ok.” It’s crazy how clearly you can see things once you have owned your identity. Cheers to being more you!
Once you have your own identity and once you learn there isn't just one box: straight and being what your genitals dictate. I remember not even considering I was a lesbian because lesbians weren't a thing in my life. I knew none personally. There weren't any in media (this was before Ellen), so it wasn't something real or possible. Despite knowing 100% I had no interest in boys while my peers were obsessed with them. I had to be straight cause straight is what everyone is! Thank god for the internet opening this door of awareness for kids years earlier than the door was opened for those who came of age before.
i had very similar experience with my bisexuality. middle school crushed were coming up and a time i said “i find boobs fascinating but that doesnt make me gay”
I spent so many years being confused because I knew I was NOT gay lol. I grew up in a very religious society, so I had never heard about bisexuality until I met a girl who was bi when I was 16. She told me what it meant and I was like "omg everything makes sense now"
when i was in 5th grade i remember some boys asked the teacher why boys/men find boobs so appealing. and my teacher told them ‘it’s because they don’t have them’. (which i now know isn’t true in many ways). but i just remember being confused because i felt that way about boobs as well 😭 but i was too afraid to say anything
I was watching Dan and Phil's video where they're playing a game with Charlie and PJ. I knew I recognized you, figured out from where about 10 minutes in, immediately became super overwhelmed with all the proud and happy feelings and ran off to find your channel again that I hadn't been to since I was a teenager. You living your truth makes me so incredibly happy for you
I am literally here because I just watched that video, heard Charlie speak, went "wait...." and hit the googles. A little cross with myself that I somehow didn't learn about her transition until just now, but! Seeing someone I admired a lot when I was young being in such a better place is so wonderful and I'm gonna be smiling about this for days.
I grew up confused that I thought women and men equally attractive and everyone else around me only liked the opposite gender. I also liked being mistaken as a boy but also being called a pretty girl. Turns out, ✨bisexual and nonbinary✨ It's amazing getting to hear your story, thank you for sharing
I assumed everyone was bi because there's no "gay gene" and I liked both the same... but I also felt like a freak because I was always grossed out by the "adult" stuff... Turns out I'm a panromantic asexual who's also nonbinary 😂 As a kid I would cry because I hated being a girl but knew I didn't want to be a man so I thought I'd be miserable forever. I've felt so much better and more understood since discovering you can just say "screw the binary!" ❤
I went cold turkey from Charlie 5+ years ago to Charlie now, and if I may say so it is instantly obvious that this was the real Charlie all along. I've never seen her look more comfortable being herself.
I absolutely thought this too! I couldn't pinpoint exactly what it was, but as soon as I started watching videos with her now, I just thought "she looks so much more comfortable now"
Literally tho i think back to the time I met Charlie in person at a meet and greet and the picture we had together you can see how she’s kind of shrinking into herself like she was definitely as friendly and polite as an introverted adult talking to a teenager could be LOL but thinking now I’m like that’s the Charlie who had things she was working out and this is the Charlie who is doing the things she was working out and I’m very happy for her
this was such a lovely surprise to find after thinking "i wonder what charlie is up to" and searching for your channel for the first time in years. you are glowing and seem so much more comfortable and confident in your own skin!!
I definitely relate to the being "misgendered" stories. One day in ninth grade, I volunteered to take the attendance sheet to the office, and when i got there, I waited for the secretary to notice me, and she was like "Can I help you young man?" And I got like my first blast of gender euphoria, before I knew what that was, and was *very* confused why it felt so good to get mistaken as a guy. Similar things happened the last two years I went trick-or-treating, and then somewhat recently, though it was technically after I had come to terms with being a trans man but before I started coming out, when I went to a restaurant with my family and the waiter used masculine leaning terms towards me. There's also how Mulan and Beauty and the Beast were my favorite Disney movies growing up. And I also had an intense fascination with stories that involved genderbending and gender transformations.
I had the opposite experience. I do not recall if I had any euphoria but I remember when I had short hair and dressed androgynous in middle school, I got mistaken as a guy from behind. I then told my mom I wanted to grow my hair out. Maybe that was me being like ‘I need to fit in. I’m a girl and I know looking like a boy as a girl is bad, right?’
i was already heavily relating your entire comment, but then when you said mulan and beauty and the beast were your favorite disney movies growing up, i went from relating to feeling called out LMAO i JUST said this the other day - i feel so blind to not have put those pieces together until now
I’d love to know the story of how you found your “New style” as a newfound woman. Did you know all along what kind of clothes you wanted to wear or did it take some time finding the right style for you. For me it has taken YEARS to find “the real me” style wise and i’ve been through many different types 😅 and i didn’t even change my gender!
The Shania example was very relatable in the sense that I was so afraid to sing If I Were A Boy by Beyoncé out of fear of people somehow connecting me singing a wildly popular song to the secret thoughts in my head that I'd never said out loud
I very similarily wrote a script that in hindsight should probably have been titled 'Egg'. I spent six years researching the trans community but was CONVINCED I was an outsider just trying to do due dilligence and learn what I could for research purposes... Three years of HRT later I've become the woman I always wanted to be. Glad you're well, Charlie :) x
The idea that it's gendered to find singing along to "Man, I feel like a woman" empowering is a microaggression against the power of the brass section 🎺🎵🎵🎶🎺
when my best friend got her first girlfriend I was extremely angry and I think she thought I was jealous but I was confused why anyone wanted to date "at our age" (we were 18 lol) and why she would prioritize anyone else over me when she'd known me longer. Anyway I'm now very ace. I still don't fully accept myself as aro, but I'm starting to see it as a possibility. Videos like yours, despite having different journeys, are so uplifting. Thank you 💕
I'm not sure about my sexuality but when something similar happened to me, it was the most confusing time. I also grew up and lived in a very religious area, but I never was religious myself. When my friend started staying out more and more with her new "friend", everyone guessed what was going on. She still says I was the first to know. I didn't know. I just assumed she found a better friend than me and now I'm slowly losing her. I was too busy battling my feelings to start start assuming (I usually don't assume anything unless people tell me directly anyway), or even to realize that I didn't like her partner because of the glaring red flags, not because of their sexuality. Its always been weird to me how whenever I make a close friend, everyone assumes I'm dating them. This situation and some surrounding context lead me to believe people may have a point, I just don't catch on.
Not me being distracted throughout the whole video by how pretty you look. Absolutely obsessed with your hair color and how well it matches your lipstick and how nicely both harmonise with the black of the shirt and necklace 😌
The "oddly specific hyperfixation on the trans community & trans experiences" thing is SO relatable to me personally. I had a very long "I just think they're neat" phase before I figured out there was a bit more to it than that. I did the exact same thing with my sexuality, too. When in doubt, binge research and see if you get some low key euphoria from it. That's been my solution ever since I finally identified this pattern in my self-exploration journey.
I did the old "I'm just a really passionate ally" and would get very passionate when arguing with people about trans rights... Obviously lots of cis people stand up for trans rights, but I didn't bother examining why I put such high emotional stakes into it if I was "just an ally" 😅
Your aversion to "Man, I feel like a woman," was me with, "I kissed a girl and I liked it" xD Sucks that we're raised to be in this fixed straight line, but it's so awesome once we can break out of that and just be ourselves :) So happy for you!
Been a fan of you since 2008, I remember asking if you would sign my shirt and you very kindly did! It is wonderful to see you on here and thank you so much for sharing with us
At one point in my early 20s I worked as a server. We all had the same uniform regardless of gender; black button up, black jeans or dress pants, black no slip shoes and an apron. I already knew I was bi/pan, and had been keeping my hair short since age 13. At that point in time I had a particularly queer undercut. I went to the bathroom and as I was washing my hands, a mom and young girl came in to use the bathroom. As kids that young often do, she “whispered” to her mom (at full volume) “mommy, is that a girl?”. The mother was mortified, profusely apologizing and saying I was a beautiful young woman, telling her daughter girls could have short hair too, etc etc. I left the bathroom giddy, and just… could not explain to my work friend what about it made me so happy. Every time I tried to, the explanation just didn’t seem to fit or feel right. Years later, I came to terms with the fact I’m non-binary and gender fluid. I identify as a woman, but also as agender. I never liked being mistaken for a boy, which didn’t happen terribly often and was usually the work of bullies intentionally misgendering me in middle school for my short hair. But having someone be pretty sure I was a girl, but still have some level of doubt? Gender euphoria.
Of all the early clues I think the funniest one is the teenage journal entry wondering if anyone else sees sexual content and finds it intriguing but not sexually appealing. Girl it was because you are ace, not a scientist!
I remember thinking that your song “I am me, you are you” felt very conflicted and it also felt very real. I’m not trans, but I know finding your true self is hard for a lot of us. I am so happy to see you again and I love seeing you smile. Be well and truly DFTBA
I'm 32 now and I watched you as a teenager. I was browsing trying to find some of the vloggers I grew up watching to see where everyone was. This was the most pleasant surprise to find. I'm overwhelmed with happiness for you.
When I was a young teen, I was seriously questioning my sexuality and gender for the first time, and one of the things that made me feel okay about everything was covering This Is Me. That song was one of the first things that made me feel like I was allowed to be myself, regardless of how other people felt about it. So, thank you. You've been a part of my journey before either of us knew who we were.
I don't think I have any stories to share, but I just want to say it's so nice seeing you in my subscriptions again! It's like getting to see a friend I haven't seen in YEARS and I'm glad you're back.
The joy I got when we were not limited by gender for hair and clothes in New Leaf was also one of my clues to being Nonbinary! Also that I was never bothered when people referred to me as a woman but got a gleeful joy out of people confusing me for a boy or a man.
usually when someone comes out as trans, I'm like 'oh! ...okay yeah that checks out'. with you there was no 'oh!' stage lol. I wouldn't have guessed it specifically, but somehow I was completely unsurprised.
When I was like age 8-12 I had a pixie cut and got called both a boy and girl with astonishing regularity. It never bothered me, I thought it was really funny. A lot of me realizing I was non binary was me trying to get back to how people saw me as child because it was the last time my body felt like home to me. I’m happy to say I’m working on making my body feel like home again
My mom had a high school best friend that we used to spend a lot of time with when I was growing up and she was a lesbian but I wasnt told that. I was told that her girlfriend was her best friend and they just lived together. Any time we would go to her house and I would always think that was the dream, to live with your best friend and not have to dress up all girly for a gross boy. As soon as I knew the words I knew I was non-binary and definitely some flavor of not straight. Saturday will be 1 month on T for me, I’m so glad your back Charlie, watching your videos when I was a teen was a safe space. It’s so wonderful how we find community before we even know ourselves sometimes
I relate so much! I was the kid who would stand up when the teacher asked for "a couple of strong boys" to move or carry something. Girls could be strong too! I did not like gender rolls or implied differences between the sexes. I did NOT like being kept in that "female" box. No box for me, thanks! Bought my first binder about a year ago and I'm getting to know myself
I always selected the 'boy' gender option in video games, and it's totally because I was just such a cool tomboy who was so quirky and different and not because of anything else......
I remember coming out of my 'not like the other girls' phase when I realised other girls were just as cool and interesting as me. Then I started panicking because I had no reason to say I was different to girls any more 😂 (spoiler: not a girl at all)
@@Nat_778 omg same! I had such a 'not like other girls' phase and coming out of it was like yeh you aren't like girls but not for the reasons you thought lol
You were the first youtuber I've ever followed like 13 years ago, and I swear these past two videos of yours bring me so much joy! Seeing you back here and looking so happy is just the best ♥
The biggest thing I’ve noticed is just the exponential growth in your own confidence just since you’ve decided to live your authentic life. I remember going through something similar accepting my own sexuality, where I fully started to think I was gay when I was about 13 (when I was more interested in Jean Claude van Damme in universal soldier than the sports illustrated swimsuit issue) But I would think back to sleep overs as a kid and how I just had ……feelings for male friends that were confusing and I didn’t understand at the time
Didn't realize I was ace until my mid-20s, but an early clue was my sister asking me which of these 2 guys I thought were more attractive and I just picked a random one because I had no idea what that even meant. And then I wanted to have a "celebrity crush" so badly to fit in that I also just picked random people 😂
Omg celebrity crushes always got me lol. I'm demi and also never had a celebrity crush, I find drooling over attractive strangers to be completely foreign to me. Like I can see that they are attractive according to the social norms, but like... why would I be attracted to someone completely neutral to me?
I found out I am ace at around 30, and yes, back when every girl was in love with one of the backstreet boys, and you just HAD to like one of them, I chose the one none of my close friends liked so I wouldn't 'compete' with one of them maybe resulting in them being mad at me 😂
I was in my 30s! I assumed I was bi because I feel about everybody the same, which is "oh, pretty". The dawning realization that people look at other people and want to, like. *do stuff*. was bizarre. I also assumed everyone felt about Doing The Do the way I do: it's like going to the zoo. I'm usually happy to be invited, if it's not too hot outside, but I'm never going to think about going to the zoo on my own. Turns out I was wrong. Which is nice, because now I don't have to pretend to understand why anyone would want to go to the zoo so often. It's exhausting and takes a long time and it can be *really* boring...
I am not even ace, but I never understood celebrity crushes. Like how could I have a crush on celebrity. I don't know them. I don't know if they are kid, funny etc. How could I have a crush. Also like gggthsb, I needed to select random BSB boy as that's what you needed to do. I selected most kind looking guy who I assumed might be nicest of them. There was not even tiny bit of crush there.
I’m a Nana , I have watched you from the beginning, you my friend have always been a kind sincere talented person, I have always seen the beauty within the smile and those eyes . I’m glad to see you , be happy , that is what is the meaning of one’s life ❤
A clue: We're about the same age i think and I grew up watching your videos and above all people I followed on youtube back in the day something about your humor and you really struck me really deep down. Anyway I'm a trans boy XD just a couple years into accepting myself. When I found out you were also trans I cried (good cry) because it made so much sense to my own feelings. I remember my mom teasing me about how much I followed your videos. I just sensed the connection. I think I sensed that same humor and that weird... just pre-acceptance discomfort a lot of us go through. I'm just happy I found other people even though we couldn't understand it at the time.
My kid began their transition about 18 months ago. We've had a lot of fun placing family stories into the new context. I have pictures of them at about 4, in my shoes & my mother's Easter hat, singing that exact Taylor Swift song. Watching your joy connects me with their joy (cause I don't see them nearly often enough). Much love!
As a genderqueer person that watched your videos for comfort as a teen, I’m so incredibly happy to have found your new channel. I’m crying tears of joy!
I knew for 100% fact that I am cisfemale when I was given a pre-made male character for an RPG and felt *very uncomfy* until I asked if I could change the gender to female. The second I was told I could, I felt immediately better! The brain just... knows. You know?
Thank you for this video, Charlie. It wasn't until a close friend of mine came out as trans at age 22 that I realised just how much diversity there is within the trans experience. The 'I knew I was really a boy/girl from the age of three' perspective is entirely valid, but it's far from the only one. I think it's what we see portrayed in the media the most because it seems straightforward and is easier for cis people to connect with. In my friend's case, he doesn't actually have any regrets about being 'born female' as he puts it, because it meant he escaped the very rigid definitions of masculinity in our society and had the ability to decide what it meant to be a man for himself. It meant he was encouraged to pursue a wide range of hobbies as a child because 'girls can do anything', whereas many boys as still discouraged from building an interest in stereotypically 'feminine' activities.
My obvious enby moment was when I was around 10 years old. I knew that people could be transgender and I knew I didn't feel right as my assigned gender. Then I thought hmm, this gender is wrong, but... the other is also wrong... so I guess I'm not trans and just weird. Would have helped a lot if I had known there was a secret third option!
Same here! im bisexual and nonbinary, when i found out i didnt have to chose between which gender i wanted to be or love, its like everything finally made sense
So I grew facial hair really early (like 9 y.o.), but my mom was really adamant that she didn't want me to shave. Instead, she would bleach it blond and claim it was hardly visible. When my dude friends at school started to hype me up for having a mustache, I got mad and claimed it didn't exist. While it clearly did exist, I didn't want it to 🙃. Hardly the most obvious clue from my past, but it's one that sticks in my mind.
"If you wondering if I wore mums lipstick as a child" Charlie, you were once entirely purple. You're never gonna surprise me after that video. (also so nostalgic seeing you with red hair, her hair shines bright once again!)
i was telling my girlfriend the other day that soon after i learned what a lesbian was, i was obsessed with playing the game of life and putting two pink tokens into a car. only took me a decade plus to figure out i could be gay in real life, too 😅
I did similar stuff. I'd have this weird fluttering thrill go through me whenever I saw lesbian representation (e.g Willow and her girlfriend in Buffy lol, can't remember if the actress or the character is called Amber). I grew up hating romcoms or movies like The Notebook because I couldn't connect with that at all. Seeing the occasional WLW relationship in shows/movies would make me feel like a yearning sense of missing out. Still took me a while to figure this out 😂.
Ok, so it's been a long time since I've seen anything from Charlie, and this is the first I'm hearing about the transition. What's crazy is I was literally, just yesterday, thinking about her because I had the "I am you and you are me" song stuck in my head. Maybe because of the message "you have to be able to love yourself". What is the most surprising and delightful about this video popping up out of the blue is that it finally feels like that advice has come to fruition for her. I remember in her late teen years, there was something sort of tragic - relatable, but tragic, about her demeanor, her outlook, her ambitions and her lack of confidence in herself to follow through; underneath it there was this sense which in hindsight, I'd articulate as "she wasn't comfortable in her own skin". I know there is a lot of stigma and misunderstanding around trans people, but if I may, Charlie, this is the first time I've seen you look comfortable in your own skin, and it's heartwarming. I'm so happy you've figured out how to love yourself (but not in that way).
Hi! I used to be taught English by your mum, and you came in every so often to cover science lessons with us. It's been amazing seeing you grow in the confident, and self-assured person you are today, and you'll always be one of my biggest inspirations! I'm graduating from uni this (academic) year, and will always wish you the best along your journey xx
One of my clues was you, actually~ you grew out your hair really long once (much longer than my parents would allow me to grow my own hair) and had scheduled a livestream to shave it off for charity! I watched that stream in horror because it felt so awful to see that icon of what I thought represented "boys could have long hair" have it all buzzed off. I adore to see you with long red hair again. It's always suited you ❤
So this is new! I've not been an active fan the past couple years but this is exciting! Edit: so apparently I missed the actual reintroduction video 6 months ago, sorry. Still excited though
I've never got a chance to ask questions to a trans woman, so I'm gonna ask you 😅 what is to be a woman? What does "woman" mean to you? Because I heard a lot of stories like the ones you told, and it's mostly about appearances (wanting to wear a dress, to feel "pretty", to wear makeup) and these are very old fashioned ways to describe what it is to be a woman. I know many women who don't like makeup, or heels, or "being feminine", but I've never seen a trans woman who doesn't like the idea of "being feminine"... If society would allow you to be a man and wear makeup and pretty clothes, would you still be a woman? Just to be clear, I'm just trying to understand, sorry if I come out rude, that's not my intention...
I am a cis woman and I ask myself that all the time... Gender is such a mistery to me... What is perceived as feminine also changes a lot. I'm currently thinking a lot about giving birth as the most female thing I can do in my life. But that doesn't mean that women who don't give birth are not feminine... It's all so strange and confusing
Story time! This'll be fun and wild. A lot of people enjoy my story, so I like to tell it. =) I was pretty confident and okay with being a feminine guy before I turned 27. After breaking up with my ex of 8 years and moving back to the U.S. from Japan at the age of 24, I went to basic counseling for depression and co-dependence issues. A few years later, I met a girl online who said she'd never dated anyone before and we tried long distance dating. Two weeks later, she dumped me kindly with the sudden realization that she thought she might be a lesbian. She talked with me for a short bit afterward to help me feel better and I said something to the effect of "I wish I was a girl!" in desperation. The next day, I told my counselor about the breakup and, when I got to that part of the story, she stopped me. "Wait, back up. What did you say?" I was like, "Oh, I said it in desperation..." and she was like, "Most people don't say something like that, even in desperation." This topic came back up a few times over the next few weeks and she offered me a gender counselor and told me, if I'm not trans, that's okay, but _wouldn't I like to at least explore the possibility?_ I reluctantly took the offer. I remember feeling a bit upset about it. I kept telling myself, _"I'm just a feminine guy!_ So I go to the gender counselor, right? After several hour sessions of me coming back with a bunch of science tidbits I had learned through my own research about gender and sex (I'm a science communicator), but not budging on my wishy-washy insistence that I was a feminine guy, he tasked me with an experiment. He asked me to write in a notebook, skipping lines per point, a bunch of things I could remember from three separate categories: 1) Things I liked/liked to do that _I_ thought were feminine (the whole "boys can play with barbies, but barbies are still seen as feminine" thing). 2) Things other people around me have said about me breaking gender expectations/roles/etc. (ie. friends thought I may be gay growing up, even though I very clearly liked girls) 3) Moments growing up where _I_ thought being a girl might be nice (breakup moment aside). I filled up three pages of an 8'x11' notebook, thinking "Oh, I already know I'm a feminine guy, but only three pages in one night? That's a bit underwhelming. I guess that's as far as I go then." I was fully prepared for this to be the end. When I brought it in the following week, my gender counselor stared at the notebook in awe. "Oh, that's a big notebook." "...Oh, three full pages? Most of my clients fill up one, one and a half, maybe two pages if they stretch it out..." "......Oh, you wrote front and back, too..." ".........Oh, I told you to skip lines per point to make it easier to read, but... well, your handwriting is very neat, so it's fine, but you didn't do that. This is more like 5-6 pages." "............Oh, you did this all in a single night? You didn't have to think hard to remember anything?" I was in shock and disbelief. I had side-smacked my own gender counselor with the sheer volume of stuff that had been stuck in my head for years while I was in denial. I distinctly remember him setting the notebook face down on the table and trying to compose himself before turning to me and asking, "Well, what do you think?" Yeah, it hit me hard. I burst out in tears and bawled that "I'm a girl!" He gave me a look like, "Oh, you poor creature". My friends and family who always thought I was gay were right, but for all the wrong reasons. My life was crashing down around me. It took me several months before I finally took my decades-long crossdressing hobby (Oops! Did I conveniently leave that part out for dramatic effect? Ahaha.) and socially transitioned for real. It hasn't been easy, but it's been almost 5 years since. I feel like a huge part of my childhood was robbed from me by my own denial. But this really is who I am, and my confidence in being a woman now utterly drawfs my insistence that I was just some feminine dude from before. A reminder that, yeah, some things really are still better late than never! P.S. - That experience is very nicely designed. Even if you know who you are now and your journey is past you, try it for fun! Each bullet point references a different aspect we know about socially constructed "gender" today: the gender expectations and roles we understand and express, the gender expectations and roles others make up and assign to us, and our own identityーthe comfort we have in knowing who we are and want to be. In the end, our identity is the crux of our gender, but the former two aspects of gender can inform us of why it matters to us. It's not so much how many pages of a notebook you can fill up as it is how important each piece is to you. Have fun! ^^
The big "yeah I'm totally ace" moment that comes to mind is that I moved to a new school, and my previous school had sex Ed way earlier than my new school. I remember all my friends that was the only thing that they were talking about, and there I was, very confused as to why people were so amazed by the idea of sex if not to literally create another human, and being really annoyed about it 😅
I figured out I was ace after college, but in high school I went to a conservative youth group and was baffled by how often they talked about staying pure and resisting urges. I just thought they were all weak, I didn't find abstinence hard at all!
Thank you for sharing your experience!! I remember telling a friend I was considering using she/they pronouns. The friend immediately started testing it out for me, and I started weeping at the gender feels of "they." So grateful for storytelling and its ability to give a voice to these feelings!
You were the first person I ever followed on RUclips and I’m grateful for that still. It was like a flap of a butterfly’s wing - ultimately i have no doubt that, hyperbolic though it may sound, you helped me grow into a better person than I otherwise might have been. Thanks for sharing some of yourself with us, Charlie, you seem so happy in yourself and it’s so wonderful to see. Wishing you peace and happiness ❤
I didn’t realise I identified as queer until I was 18 or so, but looking back a lot of things made so much sense knowing what I do now. One of my favourite songs was At Seventeen, by Janis Ian, who I later learned was a lesbian, and I remember feeling _weird_ about it in a way I couldn’t figure out. The same feeling happened any time i learned someone was gay, or if I heard people slinging around queerness as an insult. And somehow I seemed to gravitate towards people who would later come out? (Case in point, I guess!). The nature of my queerness itself keeps gaining nuance somehow, so it’s hard to pin down now. But! When I was a kid I used to point blank refuse to read the word ‘kiss’ out loud. If it appeared in any bedtime stories while someone was reading with me, I would pretend not to know it and try to go to the next page. Maybe a bit of an ace-coloured flag 😅
Come say hi on Twitch sometime! twitch.tv/coollike
Still using one of your "Quali Tea" mugs daily. Makes me smile. Glad to see you're living your best life! PS That hair colour is fantastic on you.
just wanted to say youre very very pretty :)
I love that you are still using this handle. 🤗
Are you considering crossposting VODs or Twitch clips on RUclips at all? I'm very bad at watching streams in real time but would be interested in seeing bits of your streams.
@@MaeveGreising Likely not! Or at least not at the moment. She's said before that she enjoys the temporary nature of twitch vods. They're available on twitch to watch for several months after they're live though, and you don't even need an account to watch!
I love that this comment section is full of 30ish-year-olds who used to watch Charlie as a teenager, and we've all been on our own self-discovery journeys through life only to come back together again to support and celebrate this wonderful human
Aww this made me teary in combination with seeing Charlie! Sending all you millennials love! May the next chapter treat us well, the world hasn't been easy on us ❤❤❤
Yes, I am also part of the party... and I like it!
🥺
Yesss, loved watching Charlie in high school and I’m so happy she’s back! Part of my childhood feels rekindled lol
HELLO I am one of those people and I also later realised I was trans lol
I remember when Charlie asked her fans to talk to her in public when they happen to meet and scream: "I found you Charlie!" and they would get a little pin. Turns out: Charlie has found herself.
I am so happy for you!
This comment is SO CUTE
Does she get a pin though?
@@RaunienTheFirst pin-up doll makeover :D
@@RaunienTheFirst is asking the right questions. Charlie needs a pin!
Holy shit I forgot about that! I always wanted one but I live across the pond.......
I remember way back in the day, you were doing a Q+A and someone asked you what your name would be if you were born a girl, and you answered "Charlie." And I kind of love that it actually came to fruition. Congratulations. I'm so happy for you.
Oh that’s so wholesome
Aww
I am so glad you are able to be yourself. I am the mom of a trangender girl. She always played female characters in video games. I guessed it was no surprise when she asked if I would mind if she wanted to be a girl. I have been a fan of yours since your Doctor Who days. Also we have the same birthday, October 1st. Happy birthday early.❤
YES!!! RED CHARLIE AGAIN!!!
Yeah the hair color is absolute perfection
I used to dye my hair red and play that video while I did it so I felt like I was doing it with a friend 🥹 It’s weirdly emotional to see the red hair again haha
the red is ✨stunning✨
@@forshizzlemywizzle I loved that video!!
I love the red. Always thought Charlie looked great in red
Funnily enough, YOU caused a lot of my early moments. Started watching you in 2007 when I was 7 years old, and I *DESPERATELY* wanted to look like you. I felt such a strange Interest in you and Fascination with you that I now know was gender envy. I met you in 2016, a month after I began to transition, and I got to tell you that my name was Charlie. Funny how gender moments can happen long before anyone realises what's happening. Love and solidarity
Wow, nice to hear! I wonder what she thought in that moment..
that’s so real i wanted to be charlie so bad as a kid but my name is will now
i love this story and tbh i was today years old realizing she was my transition goals as a questioning middle schooler (2008)..."it'll look like a boy" lit a fire in me.
This resonates deeply with me as well. I didn't choose the name Charlie ONLY because I wanted my initials to stay the same.
I was also 'misgendered' as a kid and pre-transition adult and I liked the way it felt. I feel bad that society easily accepts those who are more masculine. Most transguys can fly under the radar without too many mean comments about their clothes pre-transition.
wow just realized i also had an interest in charlie for (partly) this reason
This feels like hanging out with a friend whom I haven't seen in a long time. I'm so happy to hear that you are absolutely living your best life. Thank you so much for sharing your story, as it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Representation is incredibly important, and it looks like your experience is resonating with so many lovely people in the comments. You're a beautiful woman, inside and out. ❤️
Same. Couldn't place the feeling but it's definitely the friend thing
Right! Charlie was one of the people who got me through high school, not necessarily in the deep and meaningful way, but by making me laugh and cheering me up. I watched her videos allll the time, constantly showing my friends, etc.
the "im just a really good ally" phase of realising your identity is something I really relate to
My bi ass was the same!
Literally me when I was straight with the LGBTQIA+ community. I’m bisexual now. :)
Literally me. I remember in sixth grade I even asked brought home a pride flag and insisted my parents put it up. Just ally things 😂
Same!! Did a lot of the “I can’t be a lesbian, I’m attracted to men!” rationalizing before realizing I was bi.
My mom was like “you seemed suspiciously passionate about queer rights”
RELEASE THE EPIPHANY INDUCING GENDER BENDING ANIME LIST OF TRUTH
😎
SECONDED
Please do!!
Ouran High School Host Club HAS to be on the list. I just started rewatching it, and Haruhi is an inspiration 👏🏻
I'm guessing Birdy the Mighty Decode is on it. I LOVED it in college and in addition to the gender stuff it had really fantastically well-animated action and fight scenes!
You look so... comfortable? secure? serene? I don't know exactly what the right word is but I'm happy for you that you've found yourself and your place in the world after inspiring so many people for so many years.
That was exactly what I wanted to say!! So happy to see Charlie again after all these years, looking so content in herself, it's lovely 🥰
The reason you look so beautiful is because you look so comfortable and confident! I feel honored to be here as you step forth as your genuine self. I think 27-33 years old is our generation's chrysalis stage, I appreciate and see all the hard mental work you did before you got here, I know how hard it was, but your hard work has paid off now! Much love from a long-time viewer!
Ooh this excites me as I'm about to turn 27 in a few days!
Honestly, that's part of it, but she does also have feminine features and I think for her sake it's important to say that. She's always had a delicate face that leaned toward androgyny and she looks extremely feminine with how she styles herself these days. She's not just beautiful because of how she carries herself, she's also a very pretty woman just by virtue of her good looks. That's important for self-esteem too.
That Saturn return really hits hard 😅
Wow. As a 29 year old I love this. Chrysalis stage means there's more beauty and exciting things to come. I really do feel like I'm becoming more and more myself (in large part because of finding out about and learning to navigate and accept my neurodivergency). I'm glad other people of my generation have similar feelings because it can be alienating to think that I should've had it all figured out by now. Thank you for that metaphor!
❤❤❤
When I was like 13 my best friend asked me to close my eyes and sit on my bed. I remember thinking “it would be okay if she kissed me right now. That would be fine.” I’m a lesbian now.
that's so cute :)
@@georgetmb2024 but charlie literally asked for stories like that in the comments. Did you not finish watching the video? Embarrassing for you
when i was 11 i was at my friends house and i lied on the bed and envisioned myself wearing a dress and i asked my friend if it would feel better to be/make love as a girl. Hi im a woman now :)
Omg similarly when I was 13 I asked my best friend to close her eyes and asked if I could “try something”. We kissed and she asked if we could “try again” so we did 😭 we’re also both gay now lol
I used to have a crush on one of my best friends and whenever she got a new boyfriend, I would be secretly pissed and telling her he’s not as cute as she thought or he’s not the right guy for her. Whenever she felt sad or she had issues, I would take that opportunity to hold her and talk to her. When I was with her, I often behaved like an annoying boy around his girl crush. Gosh I was so clueless back then… didn’t know gender identity was a thing. I’m now 99% sure that I should be transgendered, but I know my family will NEVER accept that and I honestly don’t want those hormone injections in my body. I’ve spent my mid-20s trying to understand my gender issues and now I’m still a very confused 30 y/o… I honestly wish I was just normal and not having to deal with this kind of crap.
As someone who watched you as a teen, grew up to find out that I’m trans, then found you again years later I cried when I realized that you were like me and that you’d grown to be accepting of people like me instead of some other people I used to watch who grew to become horrible hateful people. I’m happy you’ve found yourself and that you’ve continued to be such a light all these years later, happy to be watching you again just like the old days. Love you Charlie
Oh this is lovely.
@@Agul1981 what do you mean?
@@Feraloidies they’re just saying stuff to try and upset people lol they don’t mean anything.
I came out as trans myself in 2017 and have watched Charlie since her early days.
@@bigkuriboh3814 no they dont
Ginger Charlie is SUCH a slay. I’m so glad to see you back on this platform ❤
Omg I was literally on my way to the comments to type this! Charlie please keep it, it is stunning!!
I’m a therapist, and I definitely downplay how much I know about autism and the community bc I think I’m autistic and idk if my office is ready for that yet 😅 but my psych said to me, more or less, that diagnosed or not, the autistic kids in my office are going to sense that I understand them, and they’ll know without me naming it. It made me cry, because it’s really exactly how we all find each other and then come out or learn who we are one at a time, but we knew without naming it the whole time. 💛
It's wild how many friends and family you realize are autistic once you know what being autistic is *really* like, rather than media portrayals. I always try to let my friends know if I suspect they might be, just because it's been such a liberating discovery in my life. I hope you can relish in being your autistic self and sharing that wonderfulness with your clients!
Can confirm! I was an aba therapist (I know, I know, long story, regretful past) for a few years before I had really allowed myself to accept that I was autistic and related so hard to my kids, it felt like we had such a different bond/understanding than they did with some of the others and I didn't really realize why until later.
My super “trans in hindsight” moment came when I was 8 and I went to girl scouts camp. They told us to “bring a costume” with us to camp. My little sister wore our princess costume, and I told my parents I wanted to dress as a boy for my costume. Bless their hearts they were into it and I brought by closet drag to camp. We get to camp and it turns out it’s “countries of the world” themed and they assumed (correctly) that every little girl would come as a princess and we were going to have princess tea. I was the only kid there who didn’t bring a princess costume so it was 49 little princesses and me the 8yo drag king. We had to say what country we were the princess of, and I got to be the prince of Mexico (my favourite country at the time) and it was one of the weirdest experiences of my life.
Ok but the same happened to me in Brownies, I came in a suit and tie for a princess thing, and made camo shorts for my sewing thing
That is such a wild story omg you couldn't make that up
I love these examples because they are so real and specific. It reminds me of the phrase "the more specific a story is, the more universal it becomes." I hope others feel seen and understood by hearing your experiences
Also reminds me of 'Ring of Keys' in Fun Home! Looking back and understanding experiences differently
feeling ridiculously validated that one of my favorite RUclipsrs as a young teen is trans just like me
yup same 🤝
this made my smile, so happy for you and others who share this experience
Same here except I was already an adult. I actually think it's interesting that there are a handful of us.
SAME
Ok the red hair with the dark fit and the lip!! 🔥🔥🔥 You look amazing and happy. Glad to have you back! Feels like an old friend visiting ❤
Growing up as a queer teenager, I always felt like you curated such a safe and fun place on your channel. Im so happy for you, and wish you the best on your journey
Charlie, I'm so glad to see you again. You were such a warm, wholesome corner of the internet, and you still are. I'm so happy to see you happy, and I hope all your days are filled with endless joy and love forever. Love you so much, and thanks for being such a soft person who feels like a friend. 🥰
You were one of my early RUclips days favorites (you still are). And after learning about this makes me just so damn proud of you. You are one of the reasons I am a RUclipsr now. Love you
Dont worry about posting too often. We waited for years to see more of Charlie. Fan 4 life got no problem with it.
I'm ace, which I realized in my early 20s. I had my first boyfriend at about 15, and one day at school this girl I kind of knew was talking about how my boyfriend was cute and that she thought it'd be nice to kiss him. I responded by saying "ew". Out loud. About my own boyfriend. Needless to say she was pretty confused by my reaction. I still laugh thinking about it.
I realized my ace-ness in my late 20s
I'm not ace, maybe somewhat demi tho, and this is the best ace story I have ever heard lmao
I learned about possibility of being ace in my late 20s. I am not sure what type of ace I am, also that I might be demi- romantic a bit. Growing up I felt so weirded out that people start dating just based of looks and then properly learn about the other person. I always felt like I really need to know the person to be comfortable. I think tho I did have sort of crush on some boys... tho hard to say, always wanted to draw people I liked... not kiss or anything... Gosh I hate that I got sucked into that idea that being single is miserable and that I am not hitting the milestones I should have... and went along with it before I learned there is more possibilities....
figured out I was ace 2 months before hitting 30 :D a lot of things in my life make way more sense in hindsight now.
God if that ain’t a mood. lol (I’m ace as well 😊)
I wasn’t particularly repulsed by the idea of kissing my first (mostly long distance) boyfriend for the first time, though. In fact, I had been hyping it up a ton in my head. But then, when we finally kissed, I felt… nothing. No disgust, but no spark or fireworks or anything like that either. It was just a press of lips, nothing more.
Needless to say, I was quite upset at the time, since I loved everything else about my boyfriend. After he had gone home, I even cried about it to my mom, because I felt broken.
That was back when I was 18, though. I realized I was ace when I was 29 (at literally a week away from my 30th b-day), and it’s honestly been a _huge_ relief since. (Though, I’m still biromantic, and it would still be nice to find a partner who just likes to cuddle, play video games together, and have deep philosophical conversations about the universe. 😅)
I just realized that your red hair is giving so much Amy Pond vibes, I love it! Thank you for coming back to my youtube inbox and sharing your story, I recognized a lot of my thoughts of denial in yours.
I feel grateful that you are in a space to be vulnerable with us. I have followed you for over 15 years and each season and version of yourself that you've been in has inspired me. Thank you.
I met a trans boy when I was like 9, this was in 2010. My only knowlege of transgender people had come from them popping up on the TV very breifly with the media purposfully showing them as taboo, and my family calling it weird. So meeting a trans child as a child was very confusing for me at the time. I remember asking him a million questions and I thought about him for years. (came out at 16 with overwhelmimg support from mother and sisters 🥳)
Unrelated but I still can't get over Charlie's red hair. She looks so good 😭🧡🧡🧡
THIS!!!! She looks stunning!!!!!!
Right! She looks amazing!!!
Bring it back 2010
Can I just say how absolutely GORGEOUS this hair color looks on you! Also, you said how you were upset with how you looked in drag thinking you'd be prettier, as a cis-gendered woman, I totally felt that. I'm constantly comparing myself to other people and never feel like I'm pretty enough so I just wanted to say, YOU'RE GORGEOUS❤
i remember watching you when i was a teenager, now i’m a trans-activist in russia and work to stop the spread of HIV among trans people, especially those in sex work.
i was so happy to see you back! and i’m so happy you continue making videos. being a public trans person is so difficult, i can’t even imagine, but i hope the voices of love and support drown out all the rest. you are amazing! thank you for sharing your life and thank you for being such a bright presence on the internet 💛 you are very loved 🥰
You are a legend
heard about the recent law in russia. hope you're doing okay and staying safe.
I want to say "stay safe" but we know that's not how it works. Take care is more appropriate, I think. And good luck.
from a fellow russian person, thank you, you're amazing
wow! what an amazing line of work. it must be very very fufilling. please be safe ❤ and take care. know you are doing the lords work (or whatever force of the universe you believe in or don’t!)
I never go out of my way to comment on RUclips videos, but this is such a pleasant surprise to see you back in such a beautiful way. You brought me so much joy as a kid and I'm so glad you get to experience some of that joy for yourself. Sending massive amounts of love your way!!
When I was a little girl (ftm here) I would wear my wellies 24/7 because I hated real shoes. Until my dad as a joke called me "Rubber boot Jack"
Then I would wear them to be called Jack 😂
LOOOOOL this is actually so funny
This is so adorable. (From another ftm Oliver)
I got accidentally called “young man” on a school trip because of my hat. I wore the hat an ungodly amount afterwards.
That is freaking adorable
I was raised as a girl. I dressed up as a man for Halloween when I was 15 and went trick or treating with a bunch of dudes. At one house I was the last to approach and the Mom-type asked me what my costume was. I told her and she yelled “oh!!” like I had startled her. As I walked away I felt this warm comforting feeling spread all over that someone thought I was absolutely no doubt, a boy.
Feeling bad when "cross dressing" when younger because you wanted to look better in it than you actually ended up looking is one of the most relatable things.
I think it's also a quite common experience for many women, cis or not. Not all of us are pretty and not all of us have the most feminine bodies and faces.
@Somersbysnoreband yes, but the trans flavor of that experience has a meaningfully different aftertaste
Not all of us are *conventionally* pretty@@Somersbysnoreband. The only ugly women are the ones with hideous personalities and mean spirits.
Still not fully sure of my identity but I remember seeing some kind of wedding commercial as a kid, with a bride and groom in it, and wishing I could marry a woman instead of a man lol. I was so young at the time I didn't know queer people existed or that some people did indeed have partners of the same gender.
I remember watching her back in business school like around 2009 and she was colouring her hair red and now after all these years she’s back to being ginger 🎉 well done Charlie keep shining brightly❤
Yea
Me watching now wanting to know the color formula to get that color.
I'm excited to see this! Thank you for coming back Charlie, but thank you even more for being you.
I'm stoked about getting reacquainted... or aquatinted for the first time? both?
As the "girl twin" with a "boy twin" brother, I had a lot of gender stereotypes thrown at me my whole life. My things are pink, his are blue. But we didn't always confirm in nice little boxes. When our parents got me a toy kitchen and him a toy seesaw for Xmas, we literally crossed paths and ran to the other one's toy. He always enjoyed bringing his dinosaurs to my dollhouse (honestly, so did I, so much more interesting). And because I was a little tougher than him, our peers would often comment that I acted more like a boy and he acted more like a girl. Neither of us is trans. But comments like that did upset me and make me question what I was. I remember being really relieved and happy to get my period (besides disliking the cramps and mess, obviously) because I wanted confirmation that I was, am, will always be female. I think we always know who we are down deep, we just have to listen to ourselves and reject the noise. Glad to see you being you, Charlie
Yep! Not only are these stereotypes hurtful for trans people, but they're hurtful to cis people too!
I was always more of a "tomboy" and because of that I was raised to think femininity was disgusting or wrong. So I would wear baggy tshirts to hide boobs, would even call myself boy names and play pretend as a boy a lot. Kids need to be told its okay to be a girl and like "masculine" things, and that it's okay for boys to like "feminine" things.
@@MWBlueNoodlesActually, most children go through a development stage where they question their gender identity, usually right before or during cmthe initial stages of puberty. A great majority pass through it and affirm their birth assigned gender.
I also grew up enjoying “boys toys”, wearing “boy shorts”, literally a tomboy as a teenager, but I was never attracted to girls or thought of the possibility of being a boy 🤷♀️ as an adult I still feel like I’m more male than female, but I’m ok with that, I found contentment being like that.
That must have been hard for you. I have two months old twins, boy and girl. Even though my husband and I are very open about our dislike of throwing gender stereotypes at your kids, people always get us (and we're so thankful for all the presents) blue and red stuff and things like that. It's like it should be even more obvious which gender they are because they are a boy and a girl. But why 🤷🏽
We should get rid of the concepts of femininity and masculinity in the first place. We wouldn’t have to ‘trans’ our gender, if we could be whatever we like regardless of what our sex is. As a woman from Korea where transgender is a less familiar concept, it just makes me sad that people will have to take pills and change their physical features because their characteristics do not match the social norms of being a woman or a man. Sad. Be whatever you like; don’t go through surgeries and negate your biological sex. A woman is a woman, and a man is a man.
As a trans man, I am so happy to see that this comment section is so supportive and kind, including the cis people commenting. I see so much hate for trans people all over the internet these days and it’s really sad. I love cis allies! you guys are goated ❤ it’s good to see ya!
@@brett6905lmao no one asked or cares. if tolerance is that triggering to some, they should get help since it’s clearly a useless power struggle. we don’t care about ur shit justifications for being hateful. being uncomfortable isn’t an excuse to harass others who haven’t even asked to be accepted by them. trans people have never cared about cis peoples opinions. they’ve ALWAYYYS been hated. by white people anyway.
@@brett6905and JK rowling is a huge racist AND says violent nasty things. if you think that’s the only reason, you’re just hopping on a bandwagon lmao. jk rowling should’ve been quiet with her hate if she couldn’t handle the heat. again, no one cares whether you people like trans people or not. just don’t go around trying to convince others you people aren’t so bad lmao when that’s clearly not the case. the cognitive dissonance is real
Thinking ppl could only be gay or straight, and I liked boys. But saying to my friends A LOT in high school that I wished I was lesbian. Thinking that the outside world thought my closest friend and I were a couple and me wanting to play into that in front of people by holding her hand…Took me till I was 21 to finally get told by a friend “I think you are bi, and that’s ok.” It’s crazy how clearly you can see things once you have owned your identity. Cheers to being more you!
Once you have your own identity and once you learn there isn't just one box: straight and being what your genitals dictate.
I remember not even considering I was a lesbian because lesbians weren't a thing in my life. I knew none personally. There weren't any in media (this was before Ellen), so it wasn't something real or possible. Despite knowing 100% I had no interest in boys while my peers were obsessed with them. I had to be straight cause straight is what everyone is!
Thank god for the internet opening this door of awareness for kids years earlier than the door was opened for those who came of age before.
i had very similar experience with my bisexuality. middle school crushed were coming up and a time i said “i find boobs fascinating but that doesnt make me gay”
THIS ONE
I spent so many years being confused because I knew I was NOT gay lol.
I grew up in a very religious society, so I had never heard about bisexuality until I met a girl who was bi when I was 16. She told me what it meant and I was like "omg everything makes sense now"
when i was in 5th grade i remember some boys asked the teacher why boys/men find boobs so appealing. and my teacher told them ‘it’s because they don’t have them’. (which i now know isn’t true in many ways). but i just remember being confused because i felt that way about boobs as well 😭 but i was too afraid to say anything
I was watching Dan and Phil's video where they're playing a game with Charlie and PJ. I knew I recognized you, figured out from where about 10 minutes in, immediately became super overwhelmed with all the proud and happy feelings and ran off to find your channel again that I hadn't been to since I was a teenager. You living your truth makes me so incredibly happy for you
same!!! 🎉❤
I am literally here because I just watched that video, heard Charlie speak, went "wait...." and hit the googles. A little cross with myself that I somehow didn't learn about her transition until just now, but! Seeing someone I admired a lot when I was young being in such a better place is so wonderful and I'm gonna be smiling about this for days.
I grew up confused that I thought women and men equally attractive and everyone else around me only liked the opposite gender. I also liked being mistaken as a boy but also being called a pretty girl. Turns out, ✨bisexual and nonbinary✨
It's amazing getting to hear your story, thank you for sharing
absolutely feel this so much
Omg i relate so much
I assumed everyone was bi because there's no "gay gene" and I liked both the same... but I also felt like a freak because I was always grossed out by the "adult" stuff...
Turns out I'm a panromantic asexual who's also nonbinary 😂
As a kid I would cry because I hated being a girl but knew I didn't want to be a man so I thought I'd be miserable forever. I've felt so much better and more understood since discovering you can just say "screw the binary!" ❤
This is sooo so real
No such thing as non binary, only in people's heads. A bit like when kids think they are a cowboy.
I went cold turkey from Charlie 5+ years ago to Charlie now, and if I may say so it is instantly obvious that this was the real Charlie all along. I've never seen her look more comfortable being herself.
I absolutely thought this too! I couldn't pinpoint exactly what it was, but as soon as I started watching videos with her now, I just thought "she looks so much more comfortable now"
Literally tho i think back to the time I met Charlie in person at a meet and greet and the picture we had together you can see how she’s kind of shrinking into herself like she was definitely as friendly and polite as an introverted adult talking to a teenager could be LOL but thinking now I’m like that’s the Charlie who had things she was working out and this is the Charlie who is doing the things she was working out and I’m very happy for her
this was such a lovely surprise to find after thinking "i wonder what charlie is up to" and searching for your channel for the first time in years.
you are glowing and seem so much more comfortable and confident in your own skin!!
I definitely relate to the being "misgendered" stories. One day in ninth grade, I volunteered to take the attendance sheet to the office, and when i got there, I waited for the secretary to notice me, and she was like "Can I help you young man?"
And I got like my first blast of gender euphoria, before I knew what that was, and was *very* confused why it felt so good to get mistaken as a guy. Similar things happened the last two years I went trick-or-treating, and then somewhat recently, though it was technically after I had come to terms with being a trans man but before I started coming out, when I went to a restaurant with my family and the waiter used masculine leaning terms towards me.
There's also how Mulan and Beauty and the Beast were my favorite Disney movies growing up. And I also had an intense fascination with stories that involved genderbending and gender transformations.
I had the opposite experience. I do not recall if I had any euphoria but I remember when I had short hair and dressed androgynous in middle school, I got mistaken as a guy from behind. I then told my mom I wanted to grow my hair out. Maybe that was me being like ‘I need to fit in. I’m a girl and I know looking like a boy as a girl is bad, right?’
i was already heavily relating your entire comment, but then when you said mulan and beauty and the beast were your favorite disney movies growing up, i went from relating to feeling called out LMAO i JUST said this the other day - i feel so blind to not have put those pieces together until now
This happened to me in a bookstore once, and I think it's the only time it's happened to me
I’d love to know the story of how you found your “New style” as a newfound woman. Did you know all along what kind of clothes you wanted to wear or did it take some time finding the right style for you.
For me it has taken YEARS to find “the real me” style wise and i’ve been through many different types 😅 and i didn’t even change my gender!
The Shania example was very relatable in the sense that I was so afraid to sing If I Were A Boy by Beyoncé out of fear of people somehow connecting me singing a wildly popular song to the secret thoughts in my head that I'd never said out loud
I very similarily wrote a script that in hindsight should probably have been titled 'Egg'. I spent six years researching the trans community but was CONVINCED I was an outsider just trying to do due dilligence and learn what I could for research purposes... Three years of HRT later I've become the woman I always wanted to be. Glad you're well, Charlie :) x
Honestly, its kinda weird, but Charlie always reminds me of my older sister who's also trans. Even before they both "came out"
The idea that it's gendered to find singing along to "Man, I feel like a woman" empowering is a microaggression against the power of the brass section 🎺🎵🎵🎶🎺
when my best friend got her first girlfriend I was extremely angry and I think she thought I was jealous but I was confused why anyone wanted to date "at our age" (we were 18 lol) and why she would prioritize anyone else over me when she'd known me longer. Anyway I'm now very ace. I still don't fully accept myself as aro, but I'm starting to see it as a possibility. Videos like yours, despite having different journeys, are so uplifting. Thank you 💕
Honestly, even as someone who is not ace, I feel that is a just and righteous anger! People who over emphasize romantic relationships are frustrating!
I'm not sure about my sexuality but when something similar happened to me, it was the most confusing time. I also grew up and lived in a very religious area, but I never was religious myself. When my friend started staying out more and more with her new "friend", everyone guessed what was going on. She still says I was the first to know. I didn't know. I just assumed she found a better friend than me and now I'm slowly losing her. I was too busy battling my feelings to start start assuming (I usually don't assume anything unless people tell me directly anyway), or even to realize that I didn't like her partner because of the glaring red flags, not because of their sexuality.
Its always been weird to me how whenever I make a close friend, everyone assumes I'm dating them. This situation and some surrounding context lead me to believe people may have a point, I just don't catch on.
Not me being distracted throughout the whole video by how pretty you look. Absolutely obsessed with your hair color and how well it matches your lipstick and how nicely both harmonise with the black of the shirt and necklace 😌
The "oddly specific hyperfixation on the trans community & trans experiences" thing is SO relatable to me personally. I had a very long "I just think they're neat" phase before I figured out there was a bit more to it than that. I did the exact same thing with my sexuality, too. When in doubt, binge research and see if you get some low key euphoria from it. That's been my solution ever since I finally identified this pattern in my self-exploration journey.
Yea :P
I did the old "I'm just a really passionate ally" and would get very passionate when arguing with people about trans rights... Obviously lots of cis people stand up for trans rights, but I didn't bother examining why I put such high emotional stakes into it if I was "just an ally" 😅
Your aversion to "Man, I feel like a woman," was me with, "I kissed a girl and I liked it" xD Sucks that we're raised to be in this fixed straight line, but it's so awesome once we can break out of that and just be ourselves :) So happy for you!
Been a fan of you since 2008, I remember asking if you would sign my shirt and you very kindly did! It is wonderful to see you on here and thank you so much for sharing with us
At one point in my early 20s I worked as a server. We all had the same uniform regardless of gender; black button up, black jeans or dress pants, black no slip shoes and an apron.
I already knew I was bi/pan, and had been keeping my hair short since age 13. At that point in time I had a particularly queer undercut.
I went to the bathroom and as I was washing my hands, a mom and young girl came in to use the bathroom. As kids that young often do, she “whispered” to her mom (at full volume) “mommy, is that a girl?”.
The mother was mortified, profusely apologizing and saying I was a beautiful young woman, telling her daughter girls could have short hair too, etc etc.
I left the bathroom giddy, and just… could not explain to my work friend what about it made me so happy. Every time I tried to, the explanation just didn’t seem to fit or feel right.
Years later, I came to terms with the fact I’m non-binary and gender fluid. I identify as a woman, but also as agender.
I never liked being mistaken for a boy, which didn’t happen terribly often and was usually the work of bullies intentionally misgendering me in middle school for my short hair.
But having someone be pretty sure I was a girl, but still have some level of doubt? Gender euphoria.
Of all the early clues I think the funniest one is the teenage journal entry wondering if anyone else sees sexual content and finds it intriguing but not sexually appealing. Girl it was because you are ace, not a scientist!
I remember thinking that your song “I am me, you are you” felt very conflicted and it also felt very real. I’m not trans, but I know finding your true self is hard for a lot of us.
I am so happy to see you again and I love seeing you smile. Be well and truly DFTBA
I'm 32 now and I watched you as a teenager. I was browsing trying to find some of the vloggers I grew up watching to see where everyone was. This was the most pleasant surprise to find. I'm overwhelmed with happiness for you.
When I was a young teen, I was seriously questioning my sexuality and gender for the first time, and one of the things that made me feel okay about everything was covering This Is Me. That song was one of the first things that made me feel like I was allowed to be myself, regardless of how other people felt about it. So, thank you. You've been a part of my journey before either of us knew who we were.
I don't think I have any stories to share, but I just want to say it's so nice seeing you in my subscriptions again! It's like getting to see a friend I haven't seen in YEARS and I'm glad you're back.
THISSSSS 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
The joy I got when we were not limited by gender for hair and clothes in New Leaf was also one of my clues to being Nonbinary! Also that I was never bothered when people referred to me as a woman but got a gleeful joy out of people confusing me for a boy or a man.
usually when someone comes out as trans, I'm like 'oh! ...okay yeah that checks out'. with you there was no 'oh!' stage lol. I wouldn't have guessed it specifically, but somehow I was completely unsurprised.
Glad you're sharing. The world is enriched by having you here.
When I was like age 8-12 I had a pixie cut and got called both a boy and girl with astonishing regularity. It never bothered me, I thought it was really funny. A lot of me realizing I was non binary was me trying to get back to how people saw me as child because it was the last time my body felt like home to me. I’m happy to say I’m working on making my body feel like home again
Charlie is looking so amazing in this video, it's so nice to see the glow both physically & emotionally like she's closer to herself now.
My mom had a high school best friend that we used to spend a lot of time with when I was growing up and she was a lesbian but I wasnt told that. I was told that her girlfriend was her best friend and they just lived together. Any time we would go to her house and I would always think that was the dream, to live with your best friend and not have to dress up all girly for a gross boy. As soon as I knew the words I knew I was non-binary and definitely some flavor of not straight. Saturday will be 1 month on T for me, I’m so glad your back Charlie, watching your videos when I was a teen was a safe space. It’s so wonderful how we find community before we even know ourselves sometimes
I relate so much! I was the kid who would stand up when the teacher asked for "a couple of strong boys" to move or carry something. Girls could be strong too! I did not like gender rolls or implied differences between the sexes. I did NOT like being kept in that "female" box. No box for me, thanks! Bought my first binder about a year ago and I'm getting to know myself
I always selected the 'boy' gender option in video games, and it's totally because I was just such a cool tomboy who was so quirky and different and not because of anything else......
I remember coming out of my 'not like the other girls' phase when I realised other girls were just as cool and interesting as me. Then I started panicking because I had no reason to say I was different to girls any more 😂 (spoiler: not a girl at all)
@@Nat_778 omg same! I had such a 'not like other girls' phase and coming out of it was like yeh you aren't like girls but not for the reasons you thought lol
Turning it into RUclips content is going to help so many little Charlie's 😢 Thanks for coming back to us and sharing with us.
So cool to see how your personality has lit up as you've become more yourself :)
Two things:
1: These stories are absolutely adorable.
2: I ADORE your red hair
super secret 3rd thing: You're bloody gorgeous.
Happy to see you embrace your authentic self in a world that can be very judgmental. Sending love 🤍
You were the first youtuber I've ever followed like 13 years ago, and I swear these past two videos of yours bring me so much joy! Seeing you back here and looking so happy is just the best ♥
Her hair is insanely gorgeous!! I've always loved her hair but it's shining now wow
I was thinking it the whole time. So pretty! 😍🤩
The biggest thing I’ve noticed is just the exponential growth in your own confidence just since you’ve decided to live your authentic life.
I remember going through something similar accepting my own sexuality, where I fully started to think I was gay when I was about 13 (when I was more interested in Jean Claude van Damme in universal soldier than the sports illustrated swimsuit issue)
But I would think back to sleep overs as a kid and how I just had ……feelings for male friends that were confusing and I didn’t understand at the time
Didn't realize I was ace until my mid-20s, but an early clue was my sister asking me which of these 2 guys I thought were more attractive and I just picked a random one because I had no idea what that even meant. And then I wanted to have a "celebrity crush" so badly to fit in that I also just picked random people 😂
Omg celebrity crushes always got me lol. I'm demi and also never had a celebrity crush, I find drooling over attractive strangers to be completely foreign to me. Like I can see that they are attractive according to the social norms, but like... why would I be attracted to someone completely neutral to me?
I found out I am ace at around 30, and yes, back when every girl was in love with one of the backstreet boys, and you just HAD to like one of them, I chose the one none of my close friends liked so I wouldn't 'compete' with one of them maybe resulting in them being mad at me 😂
this or like "what boy at school do you have a crush on???" and just picking the one who was the nicest because you didn't really understand the game
I was in my 30s! I assumed I was bi because I feel about everybody the same, which is "oh, pretty". The dawning realization that people look at other people and want to, like. *do stuff*. was bizarre. I also assumed everyone felt about Doing The Do the way I do: it's like going to the zoo. I'm usually happy to be invited, if it's not too hot outside, but I'm never going to think about going to the zoo on my own.
Turns out I was wrong. Which is nice, because now I don't have to pretend to understand why anyone would want to go to the zoo so often. It's exhausting and takes a long time and it can be *really* boring...
I am not even ace, but I never understood celebrity crushes. Like how could I have a crush on celebrity. I don't know them. I don't know if they are kid, funny etc. How could I have a crush. Also like gggthsb, I needed to select random BSB boy as that's what you needed to do. I selected most kind looking guy who I assumed might be nicest of them. There was not even tiny bit of crush there.
I’m a Nana , I have watched you from the beginning, you my friend have always been a kind sincere talented person, I have always seen the beauty within the smile and those eyes . I’m glad to see you , be happy , that is what is the meaning of one’s life ❤
A clue: We're about the same age i think and I grew up watching your videos and above all people I followed on youtube back in the day something about your humor and you really struck me really deep down. Anyway I'm a trans boy XD just a couple years into accepting myself. When I found out you were also trans I cried (good cry) because it made so much sense to my own feelings. I remember my mom teasing me about how much I followed your videos. I just sensed the connection. I think I sensed that same humor and that weird... just pre-acceptance discomfort a lot of us go through. I'm just happy I found other people even though we couldn't understand it at the time.
My kid began their transition about 18 months ago. We've had a lot of fun placing family stories into the new context. I have pictures of them at about 4, in my shoes & my mother's Easter hat, singing that exact Taylor Swift song. Watching your joy connects me with their joy (cause I don't see them nearly often enough). Much love!
As a genderqueer person that watched your videos for comfort as a teen, I’m so incredibly happy to have found your new channel. I’m crying tears of joy!
I knew for 100% fact that I am cisfemale when I was given a pre-made male character for an RPG and felt *very uncomfy* until I asked if I could change the gender to female. The second I was told I could, I felt immediately better! The brain just... knows. You know?
Thank you for this video, Charlie. It wasn't until a close friend of mine came out as trans at age 22 that I realised just how much diversity there is within the trans experience. The 'I knew I was really a boy/girl from the age of three' perspective is entirely valid, but it's far from the only one. I think it's what we see portrayed in the media the most because it seems straightforward and is easier for cis people to connect with. In my friend's case, he doesn't actually have any regrets about being 'born female' as he puts it, because it meant he escaped the very rigid definitions of masculinity in our society and had the ability to decide what it meant to be a man for himself. It meant he was encouraged to pursue a wide range of hobbies as a child because 'girls can do anything', whereas many boys as still discouraged from building an interest in stereotypically 'feminine' activities.
My obvious enby moment was when I was around 10 years old. I knew that people could be transgender and I knew I didn't feel right as my assigned gender. Then I thought hmm, this gender is wrong, but... the other is also wrong... so I guess I'm not trans and just weird. Would have helped a lot if I had known there was a secret third option!
Same here! im bisexual and nonbinary, when i found out i didnt have to chose between which gender i wanted to be or love, its like everything finally made sense
A side note but the lighting and the camera work in this video is so beautiful. It feels so welcoming and lovely. 📸
Excited for the video premiere, but i have to say: I LOVE that hair color! It suits you so well ❤
So I grew facial hair really early (like 9 y.o.), but my mom was really adamant that she didn't want me to shave. Instead, she would bleach it blond and claim it was hardly visible. When my dude friends at school started to hype me up for having a mustache, I got mad and claimed it didn't exist. While it clearly did exist, I didn't want it to 🙃.
Hardly the most obvious clue from my past, but it's one that sticks in my mind.
"If you wondering if I wore mums lipstick as a child"
Charlie, you were once entirely purple. You're never gonna surprise me after that video.
(also so nostalgic seeing you with red hair, her hair shines bright once again!)
i was telling my girlfriend the other day that soon after i learned what a lesbian was, i was obsessed with playing the game of life and putting two pink tokens into a car. only took me a decade plus to figure out i could be gay in real life, too 😅
You can’t be gay, people are born homosexual, and you are still a heterosexual.
I did similar stuff. I'd have this weird fluttering thrill go through me whenever I saw lesbian representation (e.g Willow and her girlfriend in Buffy lol, can't remember if the actress or the character is called Amber). I grew up hating romcoms or movies like The Notebook because I couldn't connect with that at all. Seeing the occasional WLW relationship in shows/movies would make me feel like a yearning sense of missing out. Still took me a while to figure this out 😂.
You're telling me we can be gay in real life????
Ok, so it's been a long time since I've seen anything from Charlie, and this is the first I'm hearing about the transition. What's crazy is I was literally, just yesterday, thinking about her because I had the "I am you and you are me" song stuck in my head. Maybe because of the message "you have to be able to love yourself". What is the most surprising and delightful about this video popping up out of the blue is that it finally feels like that advice has come to fruition for her. I remember in her late teen years, there was something sort of tragic - relatable, but tragic, about her demeanor, her outlook, her ambitions and her lack of confidence in herself to follow through; underneath it there was this sense which in hindsight, I'd articulate as "she wasn't comfortable in her own skin". I know there is a lot of stigma and misunderstanding around trans people, but if I may, Charlie, this is the first time I've seen you look comfortable in your own skin, and it's heartwarming. I'm so happy you've figured out how to love yourself (but not in that way).
Can you imagine if she takes half of that and gives it a "re-do"
Think it would be splendid
Hi! I used to be taught English by your mum, and you came in every so often to cover science lessons with us. It's been amazing seeing you grow in the confident, and self-assured person you are today, and you'll always be one of my biggest inspirations! I'm graduating from uni this (academic) year, and will always wish you the best along your journey xx
One of my clues was you, actually~ you grew out your hair really long once (much longer than my parents would allow me to grow my own hair) and had scheduled a livestream to shave it off for charity! I watched that stream in horror because it felt so awful to see that icon of what I thought represented "boys could have long hair" have it all buzzed off.
I adore to see you with long red hair again. It's always suited you ❤
i also grew my hair out to be like hers back then lolol
So this is new! I've not been an active fan the past couple years but this is exciting!
Edit: so apparently I missed the actual reintroduction video 6 months ago, sorry. Still excited though
I've never got a chance to ask questions to a trans woman, so I'm gonna ask you 😅 what is to be a woman? What does "woman" mean to you? Because I heard a lot of stories like the ones you told, and it's mostly about appearances (wanting to wear a dress, to feel "pretty", to wear makeup) and these are very old fashioned ways to describe what it is to be a woman. I know many women who don't like makeup, or heels, or "being feminine", but I've never seen a trans woman who doesn't like the idea of "being feminine"... If society would allow you to be a man and wear makeup and pretty clothes, would you still be a woman? Just to be clear, I'm just trying to understand, sorry if I come out rude, that's not my intention...
Great questions
I am a cis woman and I ask myself that all the time... Gender is such a mistery to me... What is perceived as feminine also changes a lot. I'm currently thinking a lot about giving birth as the most female thing I can do in my life. But that doesn't mean that women who don't give birth are not feminine... It's all so strange and confusing
Story time! This'll be fun and wild. A lot of people enjoy my story, so I like to tell it. =)
I was pretty confident and okay with being a feminine guy before I turned 27. After breaking up with my ex of 8 years and moving back to the U.S. from Japan at the age of 24, I went to basic counseling for depression and co-dependence issues. A few years later, I met a girl online who said she'd never dated anyone before and we tried long distance dating. Two weeks later, she dumped me kindly with the sudden realization that she thought she might be a lesbian. She talked with me for a short bit afterward to help me feel better and I said something to the effect of "I wish I was a girl!" in desperation. The next day, I told my counselor about the breakup and, when I got to that part of the story, she stopped me. "Wait, back up. What did you say?" I was like, "Oh, I said it in desperation..." and she was like, "Most people don't say something like that, even in desperation." This topic came back up a few times over the next few weeks and she offered me a gender counselor and told me, if I'm not trans, that's okay, but _wouldn't I like to at least explore the possibility?_ I reluctantly took the offer. I remember feeling a bit upset about it. I kept telling myself, _"I'm just a feminine guy!_
So I go to the gender counselor, right? After several hour sessions of me coming back with a bunch of science tidbits I had learned through my own research about gender and sex (I'm a science communicator), but not budging on my wishy-washy insistence that I was a feminine guy, he tasked me with an experiment. He asked me to write in a notebook, skipping lines per point, a bunch of things I could remember from three separate categories:
1) Things I liked/liked to do that _I_ thought were feminine (the whole "boys can play with barbies, but barbies are still seen as feminine" thing).
2) Things other people around me have said about me breaking gender expectations/roles/etc. (ie. friends thought I may be gay growing up, even though I very clearly liked girls)
3) Moments growing up where _I_ thought being a girl might be nice (breakup moment aside).
I filled up three pages of an 8'x11' notebook, thinking "Oh, I already know I'm a feminine guy, but only three pages in one night? That's a bit underwhelming. I guess that's as far as I go then." I was fully prepared for this to be the end. When I brought it in the following week, my gender counselor stared at the notebook in awe.
"Oh, that's a big notebook."
"...Oh, three full pages? Most of my clients fill up one, one and a half, maybe two pages if they stretch it out..."
"......Oh, you wrote front and back, too..."
".........Oh, I told you to skip lines per point to make it easier to read, but... well, your handwriting is very neat, so it's fine, but you didn't do that. This is more like 5-6 pages."
"............Oh, you did this all in a single night? You didn't have to think hard to remember anything?"
I was in shock and disbelief. I had side-smacked my own gender counselor with the sheer volume of stuff that had been stuck in my head for years while I was in denial. I distinctly remember him setting the notebook face down on the table and trying to compose himself before turning to me and asking, "Well, what do you think?"
Yeah, it hit me hard. I burst out in tears and bawled that "I'm a girl!" He gave me a look like, "Oh, you poor creature". My friends and family who always thought I was gay were right, but for all the wrong reasons. My life was crashing down around me. It took me several months before I finally took my decades-long crossdressing hobby (Oops! Did I conveniently leave that part out for dramatic effect? Ahaha.) and socially transitioned for real.
It hasn't been easy, but it's been almost 5 years since. I feel like a huge part of my childhood was robbed from me by my own denial. But this really is who I am, and my confidence in being a woman now utterly drawfs my insistence that I was just some feminine dude from before. A reminder that, yeah, some things really are still better late than never!
P.S. - That experience is very nicely designed. Even if you know who you are now and your journey is past you, try it for fun! Each bullet point references a different aspect we know about socially constructed "gender" today: the gender expectations and roles we understand and express, the gender expectations and roles others make up and assign to us, and our own identityーthe comfort we have in knowing who we are and want to be. In the end, our identity is the crux of our gender, but the former two aspects of gender can inform us of why it matters to us. It's not so much how many pages of a notebook you can fill up as it is how important each piece is to you. Have fun! ^^
The big "yeah I'm totally ace" moment that comes to mind is that I moved to a new school, and my previous school had sex Ed way earlier than my new school. I remember all my friends that was the only thing that they were talking about, and there I was, very confused as to why people were so amazed by the idea of sex if not to literally create another human, and being really annoyed about it 😅
I figured out I was ace after college, but in high school I went to a conservative youth group and was baffled by how often they talked about staying pure and resisting urges. I just thought they were all weak, I didn't find abstinence hard at all!
ok cool and all but wheres the doctor who content
Thank you for sharing your experience!! I remember telling a friend I was considering using she/they pronouns. The friend immediately started testing it out for me, and I started weeping at the gender feels of "they." So grateful for storytelling and its ability to give a voice to these feelings!
You were the first person I ever followed on RUclips and I’m grateful for that still. It was like a flap of a butterfly’s wing - ultimately i have no doubt that, hyperbolic though it may sound, you helped me grow into a better person than I otherwise might have been. Thanks for sharing some of yourself with us, Charlie, you seem so happy in yourself and it’s so wonderful to see. Wishing you peace and happiness ❤
I didn’t realise I identified as queer until I was 18 or so, but looking back a lot of things made so much sense knowing what I do now. One of my favourite songs was At Seventeen, by Janis Ian, who I later learned was a lesbian, and I remember feeling _weird_ about it in a way I couldn’t figure out. The same feeling happened any time i learned someone was gay, or if I heard people slinging around queerness as an insult. And somehow I seemed to gravitate towards people who would later come out? (Case in point, I guess!). The nature of my queerness itself keeps gaining nuance somehow, so it’s hard to pin down now. But! When I was a kid I used to point blank refuse to read the word ‘kiss’ out loud. If it appeared in any bedtime stories while someone was reading with me, I would pretend not to know it and try to go to the next page. Maybe a bit of an ace-coloured flag 😅
OMG TOOK ME A WHILE TO REALIZE THIS IS CHARLIEISSOCOOLLIKE! Way to fucking go Charlie!! Love youuu ❤🎉