You weren’t lying or being hypocritical by not sharing your transness outright. You’re opting to share that with us when you feel it’s right for you to do so. Another great video, Alex. Thanks for being you.
exactly! everyone should have the choice to come out or not, no one should be forced to do something that's uncomfortable. if that means you come out extremely soon, later down the line or not at all, you're still absolutely valid. dont let anyone tell you how to live your life
@@zzzcocopepe with Kim Petras us Germans knew because she was on TV as a child to talk about her experience. So i personally thought everyone just knew and was surprised that she didn't really talk about it with her international audience apparently. It's not like she was hiding it and I also think there is nothing wrong with mot constantly coming out to new people again. I don't do that either but answer questions if someone asks otherwise it's just my life and I don't see cis people constantly coming out either.
This world is a miserable fucking place for us right now. There is no shame in not being ready to openly put yourself at risk by revealing to everyone who you are. Everyone should have a choice when to put themselves at risk like that, and for us (not just us but we as trans people are in this group) it's not a choice we can make by ourselves way too often. I lived through torture against my own will just because I happened to be born to transphobic parents, in a transphobic environment, whom put me through hell, and what always scared me the most was not being able to choose if I want to "bear a cross on my back" or not. I think being forced into something like this is one of the scariest things that can happen on this earth, and I lived through it, and it still scares me shitless. Even more after I've been forced into this already.
I'm a 30 yr old trans guy who's been mostly socially stealth for nearly 10 years, and I'm utterly exhausted by it. I've been struggling with whether I want to be more open and come out to people who I've known and loved for years and its extremely difficult. I haven't finished the video yet, but it does my heart extremely well to see this. I want to be more open and I'm afraid of losing people, but seeing more people coming out of the stealth closet is really heartening and helps more and more trans people be accepted. Thank you for doing this, it helps a lot.
I’m a 76yo gay man, had my first boyfriend in 1963. I have struggled to understand trans people. I’ve always tried to support them, as allies have supported me all my life. Your video is helping me gain understanding of your world. Thank you. The information you present is important, your presentation however is absolutely wonderful!!!
I think that I love How you view the world. Do you fully understand my experience as a trans woman? No.... But... do you understand that I struggle to be respected, and have my basic right to life and liberty respected? Yes!! You do it not because you agree with me,...but because... It's the right thing to do. Thank you.
@@olaf-chan-728 You are being rediulous. Never heard of someone typing " Manly". I mean what does that even mean? What segment of the y gamete results in "manly typing" ?? lol....
@@DUWANGlai_kangyisocial libertarianism has an air of having actual thought put into it at some point that capitalist libertarianism just doesn't have ya know
As a trans masc the tumblr post gave me chills. The person framing their post as if they were doing you a favor when they were essentially outing you. You’re incredibly brave for continuing this channel after a blow like that, and I know for a fact your channel has helped so many (including myself). Thank you for sharing your journey with us.
'Girlhood wasn't so bad but being a woman just wasn't in the books for me' holy shit dude i've never knew how to say how i felt about being a little girl in relation to my gender now, but you expressed it perfectly
@@fanatykpasztetu7964 I went through like questioning genders before I actually just accepted that I was just trans too, it might just be because I've always felt like I'm in a safe place and my parents are both LGBTQ+ but I was most definitely trying to say I could be anything but a guy, I remember me and my friend as 9 year olds sitting in my room and I just went "I just want to be a boy" and my friend just answered "Me too" turns out, I'm a trans guy and they're Nonbinary
“Do i feel a forceful pull towards male identity? Yeah. I couldn’t live any other way. But to say i know the location of this pull, to say i know the mechanism of this pull, the shape of this pull, that would be at best an exaggeration, and at worst a lie.” I think that’s something people don’t talk enough about gender identity. Cis people will often dismiss the transgender experience as something that they can’t understand so they have an excuse for ignorance, but trans people don’t know what’s going on either, all we know is that one thing feels wrong and the other feels right. And as a trans man, hearing someone finally say that and not try to explain it as “a man in a woman’s body” or even anything really physical, just a feeling, was like a breath of fresh air honestly.
As one of those cis people, I agree. I've always gone with the "man in a woman's body" perspective to help myself understand trans people I know, but it never seems to fit the whole picture, and I am left confused when it just makes my relationship with that person even more hostile. “Do I feel a forceful pull towards male identity? Yeah. I couldn’t live any other way. But to say I know the location of this pull, to say I know the mechanism of this pull, the shape of this pull, that would be at best an exaggeration, and at worst a lie.” This^ is valuable as a perspective that helps me empathize with my fellow human beings, who just like me, are finding themselves in life and don't need to have all the answers to everything, an expectation that might drive me crazy if everyone demanded that I know what I am and why I am in every interaction. I guess I feel like a kid going up to people and asking "why are you different?" and then when they get angry at me for asking that question, I learn to stop asking.
Yeah, I'm some flavour of nonbinary/genderqueer and this description of gender fits my personal experience so much more accurately than "man in a woman's body" or anything like that
It’s also how love works. We don’t know to perfectly describe it so it can fit everyone’s way of describing it because everyone is different towards it. A lot of phenomenons are unexplained and don’t have a concrete truth or explanation. The same thing for beauty.
I've tried to find ways to describe gender dysphoria, and the best way I can describe it is as a feeling that this thing feels wrong and this other thing feels right. It never felt right to say women in a man's body because to me that delves into religious and spiritual matters, which I don't think apply. I like to describe it as an existential itch, but more extreme than an itch, maybe more like an existential burn that exacerbates until I have a mental breakdown, then it would sort of reset til it worsened again. The only thing that's really alleviated it is HRT. I could also bury myself in video games or books to help alleviate it, but I'd always have to come back from those dissociation experiences back into reality where I'd have to deal with it somehow
Hey Alex! It's Viola, from across the hall freshman year. I saw this on my feed - here's to continuously reinventing how we see ourselves, the world, and the best way to relate one to the other.
funny enough, As a Cis man. Listening to the plight of trans men really helped me understand the trans issue, because while I was born male, I always had fem qualities I hated. My voice is high for a cis guy, I have "man boobs" and I have small hands. The stories of trans men have always related to me. So if your a trans man, understand your feelings are felt by cis men too, and those feels should also be affirmation in a weird way. lol
there is so much misogyny in society that tells men having any feminine qualities is the most shamneful and embarrassing thing that could possibly ever happen to you. so while people need to unlearn internalized transphobia, we all need to unlearn internalized misogyny too
It's interesting to hear about the other side of the coin, I have all of what you described though I am a trans woman so all those descriptors were always points of euphoria rather than hatred.
That individual (who's spamming all the comments with the anti-trans pronoun "corrections") is notorious. They are all over 90%+ of the creators I follow. Imagine having such an empty life that all you do all day is search for *any* video by or about non-cis people just to do that on *every* single comment all day every day. (I report every single one I see, but it doesn't get addressed unless YT gets a flood of reports or an admin bans them. Still, I try.)
@Acornsgo - sure if they are adults who can consent to all the side effects and life long consequences. And If they don’t flaunt and force their ideology and delusions on everyone as if it is fact. But teaching kids they can change their sex or going as far as encouraging it IS abuse. And just like all other forms of abuse it should be taboo and banned by society.
like other people mentioned, its really fucking weird and kinda scary to see how people dehumanize those of us who dont fit their version of normal just so they can talk down to us
I had a trans friend in high school that i had no idea was trans until i moved in with him, his gf at the time, and his mom. I saw his baby pictures and i was super confused when his mom kept calling him by his what i would later learn was his dead name. I finally asked him the very last time i saw him (he was helping me get out of a dangerous situation) was he a girl at some point. His response was, "if you feel that you have to ask me that, i think you have your answer." I truly hope he's doing well. He was an amazing person. Edit: Thanks for 1k likes :3
Why did you cut contact with him? If it has anything to do with the question, just send him a message apologizing for the way you've approached it and say you're more sensitive and better educated now - and tell them you still wanna be friends because they still matter to you. If that's not the case, I still hope you can work it out. Friends, especially the loyal ones, are so difficult to find, it's a pity to lose a connection like this.
@@nanda_ I suspect that the "he was helping me get out of a dangerous situation" part is why they stopped seeing each other. It seems as though bluemoon knew it was the last time they would see each other and that they were close enough for bluemoon to feel comfortable asking the question, I doubt it was a falling out. My guess is that the friend helped bluemoon move far away from an abusive family, and that living with the friend was a temporary part of that process. I don't know how old this story is, but my guess is that it happened before things like Facebook were readily available to keep people connected over long distances. I admit that I could be completely wrong on this assessment, but it seems to match up with the tones in bluemoon's comment and I hope it helps you find some closure to your curiosity without forcing bluemoon to talk about something so difficult.
Your story is my son's story. You came out at the same age, you both went through high school stealth, started therapy at the same age, and the way you described your childhood is exactly like his. He's a theatre kid, and he's Latino; he even looks like you. Thanks for telling your story.
You failed your kid.... time will show and you have nothing but that with constant medical intervention and meds on a healthy body that didn't need it otherwise. The side effects alone are a risk. Your child when look back with adult lense will regret it and you could of saved that and their health. You now cut your childs chances back by half to find a partner in life.
@@Corbomite_Meatballs I learnt that you cherry pick studies to suit your agenda and can easily link a video of experts who lost their job if they don't go along with it and a lot of that is happening. Stay in your echo chamber all you want. Just a coincidence almost EVERYONE in this comment section is claiming they are trans 🤣. Wait for the new study in 15 years when you all come out the other side of this brainwashing.. or even half of you. Too many adults speaking out and having regrets to do this to kids it's disgusting.
”Girlhood wasn’t so bad but being a woman just wasn’t for me” The inverse of this is basically how I've been living life, manhood isn't so bad, but being a man just isn't for me. I'm grateful for all the experiences I've had due to it but it's time to let my real self out, you know?
God doesn't make mistakes. The Devil has you confused. Most people know how to present as their REAL self but 'society' has a different box for them to live in@@busybody1474
I GET THAT SO MUCH I don’t hate that I was born male but I’ve never actually felt deeply connected to manhood or masculinity. And though I’m non-binary not trans it still has a similar effect where i want to express myself in a way that isn’t traditional but feels true to myself
The “cutting off Barbie’s hair” line instantly put tears in my eyes and I instinctively covered my mouth. The feeling of being 9 years old again in the backyard with my cousin after we cut off all of Barbie’s hair and buried her in the dirt hit me like a truck. We both came out as trans masc as young teenagers and we supported each other in our journeys ever since. Last week we lost him to a heart attack. He was well loved by our trans community and I’m so glad he got to live as the man he truly was for the last 6 years before he passed. I wish he could have seen this video. He would have loved it. Thank you for making this
I'm glad you were able to have such a beautiful and supportive friendship with your cousin. I may be a stranger on the internet, but just know that I appreciate you sharing this story and I'm sending you my support
Your description of not exactly hating being a girl, it just doesn't work was so spot on for me. Gender wasn't really something I thought about much as a young kid; it didn't seem important. The "girl" descriptor was mainly just accepting what everyone told me about myself. Who cares, it doesn't make a difference. Then puberty happened and everything got way worse. But I was determined that I could get over it if I tried hard enough. I even tried swinging hard into overt femininity since that's what being a girl is, right? I finally came out as a trans man when I was 32. It's been 4 years, I've been on T for 3 of them and had top surgery 2 years ago. Did it magically fix every problem in my life? Of course not. But it works for me. It works really well.
That Tumblr post was way out of line, I'm so sorry. Outing someone who's not ready is a horrible thing to do. What upsets me the most is how casual they were about it, even sounding like they were doing you a favour by pointing it out.
yeah, shit was wretched. especially that part when they say "i messaged them some tips 😇😇" like congrats do you want your sticker? your good ally star for saying he sounds like a child? i wish with all my heart i could go back in time and tell them to eat shit.
@@md-fi7zt they're the type of person to go up to a queer person and say "i just wanted you to know i think you are really brave for going out like that☺️☺️☺️"
yeah it almost sounded like it came from a good place, what with them sending him advice on how to pass better, yet then following that up with outing him, completely ruining the initial intention.
I was initially saddened when I learned that James Sometron was a plagiarist, but I am glad that it led me to finding so many *better* channels with video-essay content.
So im like 3 minutes into this and also a trans man myself, i do plan on watching the whole thing, but, i just wanna say: i think im about the same age as you and in high school and college i watched almost everything you made, and i had such gender envy for you. back then as a teen i assumed you were cis and you were the cis gay masculinity i wanted but never could have, esp since you were also brown like me. you seemed attractive and confident and extremely gay. it's just cool to know my assumption that i never questioned about your gender was wrong and my gender envy has been towards another trans person this whole time. sorry if this doesnt make sense, your videos have meant a lot to me
update now that I'm done with the video: movement 4 hit hard. I've been asking myself these same questions a lot lately and they've definitely been hurting more than helping. i feel i was more secure in my gender identity as a boy/guy/man earlier in my transition than now- i do not regret any of it and i am most definitely a man- but i had less questions about what manhood and gender meant then than now. i don't have the answers and was a little disappointed you didn't either- i was hoping someone would. but I'm glad they've been asked. maybe one day we'll figure it out.
Same for me too. I always thought he was such a shining beacon of cool, cis gay masculinity that was something to aspire for. I've loved his channel for so long, I obviously had no clue. Okay, going to continue watching the video now, much love to all trans guys :]
as a cishet guy, i dont have a good reason for why i feel like a man. I just do. Sure my body helps reinforce that idea, but that is why gender affirming care is so important. Thank you.
you feel like a man, because you are a man. That's it. If you ask trans people, they only have sexist things to say "I always liked girl's stuff". So what, many effeminate gay dudes always liked girls stuff, too.
@@jorgecho1987 No need to apologise! If anything, I should be apologising, I didn't know!😅 I just found it funny cuz he's a trans man, and men-sage just sounded funny and fitting in my head!
Watching this is painful. It makes me realize on a gut level what my son had to go through while growing up. Trust me, no mother wants to see their child suffer. I may have given birth to a daughter, but I am the proud mother of a strong and beautiful son. Watching this just makes me think about what he might have been going through when he was younger, and it hurts. Trust me, mothers just want to make sure their children are happy. I'm very glad that he always knew who he really was. I never had to guess. He knew. He's engaged to a beautiful girl who is the sweetest person I've ever met.
He was my first born and I was almost 30. I remember holding him and thinking that I loved this person more than anything on earth, and that my entire job in life was to raise him so that he could go out into the world, and in a way I would lose the biggest love of my life. That's why you get those overbearing boy moms and crap. In some way, you loved him so much you don't want to ever let them go. As they grow up, and you see them having their own lives, it's such a strange feeling. You're so proud and yet so profoundly sad that that close bond you had is going to go away, and you were going to have to deal with this person in a different way. Sometimes it makes you react in ways that aren't helpful, and sometimes I made terrible mistakes. It's hard to let go. He's a very strong personality who always knew the direction he was going in, but he would never talk about sexual orientation or even the talk about sex as your kid gets he would just brush it off and say he's not having sex and don't worry about it and he's not gay lalalalala but it was so obvious to both me and his father. It was my religious sister who how did him. He moved in with her for a bit thinking she could get some work out there. There was a shared computer and my sister read a love letter to a girl that he had met at comic-con. Basically he was kicked out because she homeschools her son and is very judgemental and wants to hide him from the world. He doesn't share much, but it's so fun to be around him. He's funny in the way that most of my family is kind of sarcastic and mean. His partner is like a rainbow unicorn, full of giggles and positivity, but a little less responsible. I'm sorry I'm writing a novel, but although he's accepted by my other relatives, which really only consists of my father and mother, it's kind of a we don't talk about it situation. With the exception of a couple of jokes my dad said about my sister not handling the situation well, everybody just treats him like anyone else in the family. I never got to process the feelings I went through. Just being scared for him, and at the same time him growing older and realizing he was going to grow up and leave me, combined with how proud I was that he was so strong and brave and responsible, just so many feelings that I didn't get to share with anybody, which is why I'm sharing it here. It's so hard to let go of your kids and watch them grow up, but at the same time it's so amazing to see them become real people with their own hopes and desires and wishes and dreams and lives. I can't understand parents who want to control who their child is. I'm not a great mom. I made lots of mistakes. They just weren't mistakes related to ever loving him or worrying about his gender identity or sexual orientation or whatever. Whomever he was, he was. He was a girl, then he was a lesbian, now he's a man. Everybody changes, and I'm so proud of him and I tell him but he gets embarrassed so I guess that's why I'm babbling here because I don't get to tell him all these things because he doesn't like to talk about all the feels. Thank you for showing me points of view on how it is to grow up to be a person like him. It makes me even more proud of him and empathetic towards him. I can't understand how anyone could feel any other way about their child. All that love. How can that change? Everybody changes over time everybody. That's what life is. Oh my God this is so huge oh I'm so sorry I need to stop
As someone who has a baby, and is finding it insane how many products are aimed at gendering someone who has only just discovered they have feet, I appreciated the dramatic zoom on the bow in the baby picture.
I was recently buying a card congratulating some family members on the birth of their new baby. You'd think it'd be easy to find something that just says "baby" or "bundle of joy" or "new addition to the family". Only one card out of 15 or so.
I think it's because when babies are just born we don't know anything about their personality, so to a lot of people their sex is the only interesting aspect that can focus on. They just don't realize how weird is it to be hyperfixated on it
It's not even just children some people get angry at people who accidentally misgender their pets. I don't correct anyone and my youngest cat constantly get called a girl. He doesn't care as long as they give good belly rubs. I'll tell people his name and I genuinely had someone yell at me because I didn't correct them. Calmly stated the same I said here, Hermes doesn't care this happens regularly and has his entire 7 years of life. No need to feel bad about this. Babies don't care either and my nephew was called a girl and my nieces were called boys and we just all went with it when it was a stranger because it's just more of a hassle to correct them than just let them look at the baby and then you move on and never see them again. People also constantly misgendered me as a baby apparently because our parents just really didn't like the typical baby pink and blue and I was dressed in green and red and all the other colors that aren't really gendered unnecessarily. I think it's funny now as a 30 year old nonbinary person but even as a child it just didn't matter to me. Babies don't exactly know what they are called when they are freshly outside the womb.
Yep, I've had so many people tell me I'll regret my hysterectomy and change my mind. I had a hysterectomy because my cramps were so bad I PASSED OUT!! I have plenty of regrets. Not getting it sooner. Not suing the docs who gave me PTSD. Not walking out of an appointment. Not preparing my home better beforehand.
Yep, it’s the same thing with people getting their tubes tied, informed consent is what’s important. If you can comprehend the risks then no one should stop you from doing what’s best for you.
My whole family is heavily christian, and at least my father is VERY transphobic. He actively talks about how trans people dont deserve any rights and shouldn't be part of society. And here I come feeling extreme gender dysphoria. No one in real life knows about it, because I am seriously scared of what would happen. Because of the envionment i've grown up in I also have internalized transphobia, so I struggle to be myself online as well. I am biologically male, and every time i think of someone finding out I'm not a cis woman I can feel my skin crawl. I'm just so lost and have no idea what to do anymore. I can't be myself in real life, and I can't fully interact with others online while being myself. I don't have money for a therapist, and I don't have any friends I'm comfortable opening up to. I've never attempted suicide, but I've been very close multiple times. I just have no clue where to go from here. I doubt anyone is going to see this, but just writing it out sort of feels like i can let off a bit of the weight.
I see you, and empathize with your fear and pain. I grew up many years ago, but in an equally cisnormative environment. You are not the defective one in your family; your father is. I don't know how old you are, but one day you will be old enough to walk away from him for the last time. Protect your egg until that day. There is joy and gender euphoria on the other side which will be forever lost if you harm yourself out of desperation. It's not all dysphoria and depression, I promise. Your identity is valid, and it is yours to define, no matter what anyone else tells you. I hope this gives you some small peace of mind, and if you have any questions, please ask.
Whether or not your father or the rest of your family come around, I hope you know that the only person whose thoughts on your identity matter is you. It’s near impossible to keep going, though, when the Venn diagram of you and your support system is just a circle, so please remember that there are people out there willing to become your found family if the one you were born with doesn’t cut it.
I'm not trans, just a young lesbian, this video just made me learn a lot, we all should be in this together as the community we’re supposed to be. Thank you so much for sharing Alexander. Hope everyone who read this have a good pride month, and a good life :)
We're all in this together. I say this as both a lesbian, and as a trans woman. Conservatives are trying to end us. If they succeed, they'll move RIGHT along to... Us.
Me too, it's hard being trans in latin culture because religion is extremely ingrained. I've suffered worse transphobia with my latin friends and relatives than the american ones, they ask very personal questions. It's a part of why I don't interact with Hispanic content at all and mostly avoid hispanic cis men
@@SomeBoyHere !!! my brother is FTM trans & our mother is an immigrant from Ecuador. you can only imagine how well that went over with her before she finally accepted it lmao
I'll be honest, when I saw the title and thumbnail, I thought you had made a video about how you thought you were a trans girl as a child, and later detransitioned, realising you were a cis man in the end, and this video was made in support of trans people by an ally. I guess I'm just really bad at clocking fellow trans men! This was a wonderful video, thank you for making it
@@KrystalklearEntertainment detransisioning can be part of someone’s gender identity journey and a lot of people who detransition are still in some way trans… genderfluid, nonbinary, agender,… throwing them under the bus and demonizing people who detransition isn’t the move
@@localabsurdist6661 I understand. However when I'm talking about detransitioners who throw trans ppl under the bus I'm talking about the ppl who choose to shake hands with terfs and GCs and are actively inspiring the anti-trans movement and legislation. Detransitioning as an action itself is not a problem. Everyone have their own path, but it just isn't right that some ppl, in which transitioning didn't work out for them, is trying to take away that access from others.
@@KrystalklearEntertainment Agreed, I've never met a trans person who was hostile to someone for detransitioning. If, though, they try to take their individual experience, sad as it might be, and try to apply it to others, I and many others have a hard time with that. Tools of the TERF's are people with bad intent and should not be spared criticism for trying to go on an anti trans crusade.
@@localabsurdist6661 as someone with a transgender sibling, we kind of agree that being transgender is one or the other. meaning you either identify as female or male, obviously based on which gender you were assigned at birth. the whole non-binary/multiple genders thing is what’s given impressionable teenagers that trans or transitioning is a fad & something you can just decide on a whim since its so “normalized” now…ultimately making actual transgenders taken less seriously & painted in a bad light. not saying people cant have gender identity issues but if you’re that confused whether you dont know you identify as 1 of the 2 genders, that seems like cause for something else (whether it be mental illness?) & should be dealt with as such before slapping the trans label on yourself. my brother would never think to detransition as he resembles a male, the gender he most felt like since he was able to dress himself at 4/5 (edit:) furthering our notion that those who detrasnitioned because they didnt feel right even after transitioning…most likely weren’t trans to begin with
I just had this profound realisation about myself while watching this video that I was born and raised a girl and grew up to be a man. Neither of these parts negate each other, and accepting both frees me.
If there are any Floridian trans people reading this, just know you have supporters in your state. We are here supporting you, voting for you, doing what we can to help.
When I was 16, I started sincerely questioning my gender and sexuality. I remember being rejected for HRT by my doctor at age 19. I remember being told by a girl at the bar that I must be gay having been bedded by a guy, and that being Bisexual is just an excuse. I remember being rejected by a guy because I refused to have sex with him, being a wacky asexual and all. Over the last 9 months of finally starting to embrace who I am and go along on my journey, it's given me time to reflect on all of these experiences. If anyone reads this entire comment, just know that you are seen. You are loved. You are valid. You can overcome. You are so much more powerful than you can ever know. Happy Pride ❤🧡💛💚💙💜🤎🖤🤍
Lotta straits, especially cis-females, refuse to believe theres even such a thing as bi. They think its just gayism in denial. If a women you've been with, later finds out you'd been with a man at some point, they freak out. They wanna assault you.
I'm a trans man and have been a fan for a few years. I had no idea you were also trans, but I'm so proud of you for having the bravery and strength to do what you needed to do to survive. Also, that tumblr post was extremely inappropriate. If no one else says it, I wanted to make sure people know that.
@Ville Ahahhahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahaahahhahahahaha (How much you laugh when you misgender someone) That someone: Oh, a bitch in the wild
@ville__ow rehehe haha thats so funny !! you do realize you arent changing anything, right? misgendering ppl isnt going to make them go ‘aw shit ur right! i’ll just be cis then, my bad’? youre just trying to make ppl feel shitty out of spite and rage? and then you argue that youre the morally correct party ????
If anyone is wondering how bad things are in Texas, I've had to find a new endocrinologist this year beacuse my previous doctor and their entire department was fired after being "exposed" for helping minors. A lot of people went there for care and resources: I even got consultation for my name change at a free clinic there. It's really troubling to see vital support like that wiped out just for properly taking care of people.
Social transitioning is fine, that's reversible. Minors are not old enough to have life altering surgeries that aren't medically necessary, including hormone blockers (because yes, those are permanent, no matter what you want to say. The research shows otherwise. I don't see why this is a controversial statement in any way.
@@micahslash the research shows that it is reversible. It also helps the minor, and nobody is performing surgery like that on minors unless, apparently, bigger boobs on cis girls. Cis. Girls
Not kidding when i say, as a bi trans guy, that i remember watching some Are They Gay videos. And i was jealous of you as a "cis" queer guy. Being a trans male that's bi vs a cis male that's bi. Is so different. You're seen so differently. And i was jealous of you. Seeing that you were trans the whole time. Gives me some weird hope. Proud of you Alex.
^^ my experience exactly. not sure i can articulate it as well as you but it’s kind of a mindfuck being trans and gay/queer… it’s a lot easier being proud of the latter and it’s easy to envy cis gay/queer men for not having to struggle with the former..
A few years ago when I started watching your channel I thought I was straight. I eventually realized I was bi, but I was scared. I didn’t know what it meant, I was scared that there was something wrong with me, but the more I watched your videos, I realized that being LGBTQ is not only normal but freeing. I leave this comment to say that your channel means a lot to me, and this video is going to mean a lot to so many people. This video is important. Happy pride month.
@Ville What's with you always stalking videos focused on trans issues? Get a hobby, seek therapy, and leave us alone. If you're trying to overcompensate for possible internalised transphobia, then let's talk about it.
Fun fact. If you make a Cis gendered person conform to the sex they don't identify with for a few months, they also suffer from genderdysforia. After a while they get depressed, start suffering suicidal thoughts and wince every time they are addressed with the gender they were made to present as. There was a CIS woman who for her acting role, played a girl who pretended to be a boy so she could play soccer. For the shoots she had to cut her hair short, bind her chest, walk and talk a certain way and got treated like a dude in character... just in character. That actress got depressed and describes feelings of genderdysforia. Dysforia isn't a 'trans' thing. It's a 'being forced to present as the gender that you're not' thing. It's ironic that one of the most harmful books targeting us is called irreversable damage. Because the most irreversable damage a trans person suffers is being forced to go through the wrong puberty. Puberty blockers don't just save lives, they save futures.
There is SO MUCH that trans people experience that is pathologized but no one has even bothered studying whether cis people experience it too. For instance, the terven masses love to screech about AGP the second a trans woman expresses feeling sexy in her body...while ignoring that what is pathologized as AGP is a completely normal thing that cis women experience. Cis women also think about their own bodies and sexual characteristics and feel turned on! (And tbh that was sort of another tick in the column of me realizing I was a trans man, because I have never once thought about my chest or my genitals and felt sexy -- at their best, my AFAB characteristics have been things I could use as tools, more utilitarian than anything. So it really does turn out that thinking of your own body and feeling aroused is just a quirk of womanhood.)
@@usernameisusernam Autogynephilia, a "paraphilia" where a man is aroused by the thought of himself with a female body. It's used to portray trans women as not women, just men with a fetish, but as I said, it's something cis women also do. It's not a paraphilia if it's normal.
As a trans person who is currently considering leaving the closet, this was a really wonderful message. Honestly im so proud that you were comfortable to come out to everyone and thank you for being there to support everyone that is going through it 🌈🌈
remember to stay safe and only come out if you’re absolutely sure you have a support system. i hope everything goes well and you get to live authentically ❤
can we appreciate the fact alex filmed this in a LITERAL CLOSET. but seriously i felt so emotional while watching this. it hit home too much but gave me a message i needed to hear. thank you, alex.
As a non-trans person, I have always been accepting of the trans community but I still I found this video really informative and helpful. I think it's important to educate yourself and understand what people who are different from yourself have to say about their personal experiences.
Someone can educate themselves however much they want, But that doesn’t mean by default they’re instantly going to feel comfortable with transgender people. One should educate to make the right points
Whew. I admit, i refused to click on this video at first. As a parent of a trans kid - also for the past decade - I was afraid this was going in a different direction. What a lovely surprise. You related so much of our journey as a family - including realising how much we had to ‘code’ doctor visits because our kid had to “pass” in order to get treatment. It’s an open secret amongst trans folk, and parents are only just starting to understand this truth, too. I also really appreciate the discussion with Judith Butler (always a pleasure!). Thanks for putting this out there. ❤
Essentially, being trans is wrong because it goes against the very nature we were given by our Creator. You are born male or female at birth and society, along with drugs in our water, food, products, and air as well with our society cultures, has emasculated the minds of many of our men. God doesn't make mistakes. I am not trying to condemn you. I am saying this because I care about you and want your soul to be in the highest vibration for your entire life - so that you can go to heaven.
That makes me so sad, there's nothing my kid could do to make me love or accept him less. I'm your mom now! I love you and I'm proud of you, the world is better with you in it.
i am a trans Woman yet i can feel the same pain. everything you tell and say. having to hide your sex at Birth traits. not because you "want" to but because you "have" to. despite being the polar opposite, i feel connected to your Situation happy to have you here~ you did well~
It's so contradicting how the same people that deny 16-year-olds gender affirming care because they're "too young" rush to force intersex newborns to have really invasive, complex and unnecessary gender-affirming surgeries without their consent.
It’s not contradictory because they don’t care about the well-being of children, they care about violently enforcing a socially acceptable model of sex and gender on literally everything they can. It makes logical sense to them but it’s evil.
Newborn born with intersex conditions are no longer subjected to having surgeries which was once the standard practice this has changed. Children are not allowed to drink or smoke should not be allowed to make decisions in their life they can't reverse. There have been plenty of successful adults who transition as adults. Leave the kids alone 80% tp 90% of children grow out of this phase.
As a trans guy, this warms my heart seeing so many trans people in the comments! It makes remember that I'm not alone and there's people in the world just like me, sharing the same struggles. I'm really happy and proud of you for coming out about this, and just making this video in general. Happy pride month everyone
So what? It’s quite obvious either way. And if it wasn’t it’s only very little of this person’s audience that would’ve read that tumblr post. This content creator outed themselves. No one else
My first experience with the concept of trans identity was in California in the 2000s. My elementary school classmate socially transitioned. She changed her name, grew her hair out, and wore dresses. As a child I just accepted that, it didn't feel like that big of a deal. She said she was a girl so I believed her. I started questioning my gender identity in middle school and began using neutral pronouns in college. Sometimes you just know and other times it's a longer process to figure it out but either way it's valid. The great thing about childhood gender affirming care is that it can prevent the trauma of going through the wrong puberty which has long lasting negative effects.
I am a heterosexual male who was raised in the LGBTQ+ culture as a small child. This was the 90's in Montana. I can honestly tell you that I've had so many really good friends, (clearly born in the wrong body) who had struggled a great deal. This was before testosterone and estrogen treatments were a normal thing. But I'll tell you what, we stuck together, even during the bigotry. Now, you have to understand how your average Montana folk used to be. To put in in perspective, since I was against the "good ole boy's" and the "It was Adam and Eve, not Adam and Adam" bigots, I was automatically labeled alongside a plethora of homosexual slangs. Which was funny considering I was dating or dated some of these same guy's sisters and such. Point is, I didn't put up with it and I encouraged my friends to do the same thing. Well, today, hahaha, well today, most of those bigots from my past, most are either in jail or in halfway homes to this very day. Karma is a bitch. Also, Alexander, dude, I never would've guessed in a million years that you were born with female parts. You don't identify as a man, sir, you are a man. Just sayin. Sorry if this pisses some people off. I'm old and don't know any better LOL.
Yeah i assume its cuz bigots tend to be more violent in general and thats why they got arrested. I'm gald to know you face soff agaisn them in the 90s your a great person and I hope you know that. Also we all understand if you or me for that matter as a sraight cis dude its our intentions that count is what ive heard. And bro you aint that old you my mums age and look great mate 👍🏽
Boyhood for me wasn't too unpleasant. But for some reason when I was around 18 I became superdepressed over the fact I had no girlhood and I feel I will never get over it even years later.
I think it's dumb how people label things boy things or girl things. People should be able to do what they want. Though I will never fully understand being trans, since I'm not, I still support, because people are people and should be treated as such.
This lines will probably get more and more blurry with each year. In a few decades there wouldn't be such thing as "female/male clothes", " Female/male hobbies", or certain type of behavior, associated with one gender. After all, there is no large inherent difference in a way female or male way of thinking. Only difference is parents and and society treating boys and girls differently
To me female and male is just differing physically and reproductively. I use to think that environments also shape who you are, like for eg the roles that come with being male or female but to me thats kinda debunked as soon as you see the existence of trans people and people that don’t fit those roles. I think the gender norms in general is whats making gender dysmorphia a phenomenon, because people treat a body as if its something more then a reproductive system and physical difference. Im also supportive but I don’t a 100% agree with letting teenagers decide even after this video. I don’t think the process of transitioning should be simplified but it should be easier to access money wise. And obviously conversion therapy banned. I don’t like how people want to erase trans people. To me if you wanted to erase the suffering of trans people and the operations in general you should work on the mentality of society changing. That we see a person for who they are and don’t judge them by their label, identity or body. I don’t know this for a fact but Im sure there should plenty trans kids that were just accepted for who they were even in the body that they were in and never transitioned just cus they probably felt comfortable with time. Idk tho cus Im not them. I just am a bit scared by the over simplification of the process taking place cus maybe kids who were confused like I was at a point will transition earlier and come to regret it. But only time can actually tell so.
@@username_creates6991 I agree with a lot of what you said. New study came out twelve days ago. The regret rate from the old study from years ago was 1%. This new study is at a huge 30%. It's going to keep crawling up and it's sad for the ones who can't go back.
I just had a similar debate with myself on a walk the other day. What is a woman? Why do I feel like a woman? How do I know that I am a woman? If living in society made me a woman, am I really a woman? I'm glad to know that there are people talking about this out in the world. Thank you so much for this insightful, vulnerable, and informative video essay. It was beautifully done.
What is a woman & what is a man are things I've been wondering about for a decade. I still have no answer. All I know is that I'm nonbinary, and that's what feels right to me.
I work in the medical field. Biology defines a woman as an egg carrying, ovulating, life-incubating/producing specimen. Really not that hard to define. And many, many non-biological attributes begin to come into my head immediately as well. This is a new problem we have, not being able to define the term woman. We have female and male sockets for christ's sake. Society has gotten beyond bored.
@@darkwebgirl what about infertile women? Or women who never bear a child, by choice? Or women who have gone through menopause? What about women who are born without ovaries, or are on the intersex spectrum? Biology isn’t as straightforward as people would like to believe. Sure, the gender binary is the simplified version, but like everything that’s simplified, this just doesn’t perfectly reflect reality.
Man I'm at 18:00 in and can't even watch this through because I'm getting emotional. I'm stealth and absolutely terrified of being outed especially because I live in Singapore. I already know this is going to change my outlook on being out, thank you for posting this. There are many of us, cis and trans, out there who need to hear it.
As a trans girl who's moving across the country to be safer. I really appreciate this video because it's really an amazing premier to show people who may be on the fence about my existence in any which way
@@Aurora146 it's never too late to transition. they're plenty of cases of older trans folks coming out and having just as successful and as happy transition as folks who started hrt young. it's never too late to be your most authentic and happy self
@@babykillingcadillac6719 speak for yourself. I'm in transition for years I had surgeries etc and I will never be the true version of myself bc testo poisoned me and I don't want this life.
@@Aurora146oh well. Puberty blockers should be banned. We see so many ppl detransitioning and making permanent choices when you're 10..11..12 is ridiculous. One of the detransitioners spoke about how being straight isn't cool when you're young and in school. Too many people are claiming to be SOMETHING.. anything! So their peers will like them. Not just that but look how ppl are treated when they don't conform to the lefts ideology
@AngelBabii_x0x I think you're thinking of T and E, Puberty blockers just pause puberty and once you stop taking them, it just means you'll be a late bloomer
thanks for debunking a lot of the beliefs i had. i was never transphobic but i did have doubts abt gender-affirming surgery for minors. i didn't bother digging into it cos regardless if i was given the power to vote on it, i'd still side on legalising the right for ppl to do what they want with their bodies. this video not only addressed basically every thought i had about the issue but also schooled me on why it's often not just beneficial but necessary. good stuff.
@@JootBird my point wasn’t to flame them. I just think the adding in the I wasn’t ever transphobic part was telling on their end. And they aren’t being vulnerable. The people being vulnerable are the trans people sharing their stories in the comments
Minors should not be medically transitioned, only socially. Medical treatment is irreversible and damaging to the person even if they don't detransition.
Thank you for this video. As a non-binary transmasculine person, I’m completely with you on understanding women’s issues despite being a guy. For 18 years I went under the guise of a girl who was just a bit different from other girls. Of course I get what it’s like to grow up female. I’m very thankful for the knowledge I gained during that time. I’m glad that I can understand women’s issues so deeply and be a good advocate.
Yeah, my girlhood was nice ‘cause my parents would buy me «boy’s toys» and toothbrush with Spider-Man to make me happy. They didn’t ask questions. Later in my early teenage years I still would wear dresses. Unfortunately, when gender was brought up in conversation, I just couldn’t associate myself with womanhood. I felt sad and confused. Then I understood that I always saw myself as someone in between. Often I was accused of internal misogyny but I didn’t see anything wrong in womanhood and feminity, I just never felt like it. I like cool and strong feminine figures but I’m not one. The one thing I was in fact really struggling with besides my body is toxic masculinity. Now I’m better. I identify as gender nonconforming person. Now I’m more comfortable with my body, I try different styles and I’m killing it ‘cause naturally I’m quite androgynous. P.S. English isn’t my first language. Sorry. I’m really happy when people aren’t afraid to share their stories in videos and in the comments.
@@snake_whirlpool This is kind of crazy, but the way you worded "couldn't associate myself with womanhood" was exactly it for me. You accidentally helped me put my feelings into words 😅❤
Men have issues too such as not having access to domestic abuse shelters because everyone assumes you can defend yourself - only problem is you get arrested for doing so because it is assumed you are the abuser. Because there aren't any shelters for men it is basically a choice between death or prison - women do kill their abuse victims in similar rates that men kill theirs - or end up in prison by retaliating against your abuser either on purpose or accidentally. Either way, again, you are the abuser. This is why trans women nor trans men don't have an escape from abuse as well - a combination of bigotry as well as gender norms regarding abuse - something feminists are not fighting - they actually perpetuate the violent stereotypes of cis men instead of fighting them going so far as to say that abuse and rape are tools of the patriarchy.
@@snake_whirlpool this sounds a lot like my experience growing up and I thankfully also had parents who just let us kids all do our thing and never really pushed gender stereotypes on us. My older brother always liked pink and not once was this commented on negatively and he just got the pink thing he liked. I always liked green so I got green and that was met with just as much enthusiasm. I'm genderqueer or nonbinary and I'm grateful that at least at home I was able to just be myself in this way. I don't hate women or womanhood I just always knew I'm not one myself and always felt uncomfortable being put in that category. I'm not a man either. I'm just me and never wanted to be anything else and yet my existence is a political issue somehow even though I've never done anything wrong.
It's super weird how even after we are given a tribe to belong to, we'll limit how much we're "allowed" to be queer. I finally figured out I was queer at 35, eventually settling on pansexual. It took me another two years to realize I was non-binary, after having to fight through the same sort of mental walls as I did the first time. Anyways, hope you're having a good day queen
@@whitesausagedog5392 I told my parents I'm trans and they were like, "We're not gonna accept you." so I left. They've started putting in more effort since then.
the fact you were able to pass as male in high school even pre-HRT is fucking astonishing to me, as an MtF I never even thought that would be possible for like, anyone
T puberty really has some significant effects that can be super annoying for us and obviously women are looked at with a little more scrutiny overall so it’s pretty tough to pass nowadays 😅
I'm a GenX trans woman, and I'm starting a channel where I'll talk about what it was like growing up as a trans kid before anyone knew trans kids were a thing. I'll explain why you probably believe you didn't know any trans kids when you were in school.
You understand that you don’t know everything and you’re trying to learn, so remember that that makes you less ignorant than an appalling number of people on the internet.
you really hit the nail on the head with this. i've always been uncomfortable with the "i am a man in a girl's body" narrative because when i was little, i identified as a girl, and that wasn't wrong. as a tween, i identified as genderqueer, and that wasn't wrong. and now i identify as transmasc nonbinary, and that's not wrong. every performer on the stage hones their craft, yeah? so it makes sense that my performance of gender would grow with me.
omg, yes. i performed my girlhood so well, but now i grew up and i feel better performing masc, i feel stronger, cooler, more confident. my teens were marked by me trying to continue to fit the girl role, but more and more i would not feel good about it. i would feel disgusted when someone found the fem me attractive, why? i didn't know. i felt so much better when presenting male, and i feel really happy when i get address as male, and my family is all wondering what happened to their daughter that performed her gender so well...
I think my egg has been cracked... I think I may be non binary. Edit: I say that label so people get it but to be honest I don't really want a label I'm like sort of a girl but not really and also a cat but most importantly I'm me.
as a transmasc in michigan if you ever plan on leaving honestly the midwest is the best place to be right now, so if u get the opportunity imo the best way to go is up. stay safe and remember we love you!!!
This is the exact type of calm, rational voice we need to elevate over the hysterical fear mongering of right wing bigots. You cite your sources and articulate these heavy issues so well.
Let's be careful with this -- being calm and rational when your human rights are under attack is not always the most helpful response. Not saying Alexander is doing anything wrong, but his style of presentation in this video is not the *only* appropriate or acceptable way to respond to oppression.
To Dahlia Dillinger: I'm not "fear mongering" in my opposition to transgenderism. Also there is no "bigotry" involved. That's simply nonsensical and would be counterproductive if true. Furthermore, transgendered people are no different than anyone else within the Biblical context of all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. Now, having said all of that, transgenderism is clearly contrary to God's revealed word. It is a delusion sparked by the author of lies, Satan himself. Propagandizing transgenderism with young children can only confuse their minds and is outright abuse. I would take it even a step further and suggest some "progressive" adults have a bizarre obsession with this suggesting sexual grooming and pedophilia. I will continue to publicly condemn transgenderism and stand resolutely on God's word.
Your video meant a lot to me. Im a woman and in my 30s, always knew i would be happier as a boy/man ever since i was in early kindergarten but i never had the bravery to actually go through with it. Brought it up with psychologists here and there and went through a few very bad suicidal years but yea i never had the balls (hehe). I might never be brave enough to live like this but i have such a ridiculous amount of respect for everyone who is. That's true strength and i hope your video will be an inspiration to many transgender people.
you should get yourself a couple nice outfits that make you feel really handsome. something for you that makes you feel manly. you don’t have to do any sort of transition. just small things for yourself. you got to find little ways of letting it out because pushing it down completely can really cause harm
You should totally go for it! You’ve got nothing to lose, and you’ll be so much happier. When you feel ready I mean, obviously it’s very intimidating, but doing small things to start with could be good, like getting a hair cut or some new clothes. Whatever happens, whatever you learn about yourself, I’m rooting for you! I hope you become the best, truest, happiest version of yourself :)
Hey, Junes23, just putting this out there; I'm a 65 yo trans man who began my transition in my late 30s, and have been living as the man I am for the last 2 decades. I'm not saying it was easy or simple. I took it a bit at a time, searching for the level of social/bodily change I needed to be happy and comfortable in my own skin. It will be different for everyone. Don't let the number of years you've already lived hold you back from exploring your possible futures.
I was a trans kid too (and still am, I guess). I don't live anywhere near the US but the horrifying anti-trans laws being pushed there are still making headlines over here, and it really hurts to watch. Every day I struggle with just trying to live as myself as much as I can. People like you and messages like yours give me and countless others the strength to believe in ourselves and keep going, despite the challenges. Thanks for making this video. You're awesome :)
Yeah, same. I live in South Africa. And while the Apartheid regime was absolutely terrible, since it got dismantled in 1994 we got a complete overhaul of our Bill of Rights which specifically states that it's illegal to discriminate against someone due to their sexuality or gender. Along with a bunch of other nice stuff, we were the 5th country ever to legalize gay marriage. So no matter how transphobic any future or past president, they can't really do anything to actively harm queer people. Sadly, many small, isolated towns are extremely behind and so you get pockets of uber religious, queerphobic people where it's very unsafe for anyone "different". But yeah, it's really nice to see queer kids out and about. They're just... fine with mentioning it in public, or wear pins with pride flags. It makes me feel so happy to see that these kids feel safe enough to be themselves.
@@firasjemil213 They're always going to be a female (a biological term) but "woman" is more of a social category. She/her are just pronouns, and if someone wants to swap pronouns why not? Do they really only refer to someone's sex? If so, we should get rid of sexed pronouns because it's a bit invasive. What next, pronouns for whether you're circumcised or not? Pronouns for what size of dick you have? Not too hard to let people use whatever pronouns they want. If a biological female wants to call themselves some other label, why not? It's just words.
@@ahuman5772 women are, by definition, female. and men are, by definition, male. you can't be a male woman, or a female man. that doesn't make sense. she needs proper psychotherapy in order to accept herslef the way she is. she didn't need hormones and surgeries. her hormone levels are certainly normal, and her breasts are fine and healthy
It's an unspeakable horror to watch your childhood slip away from you as a trans person. I didn't get to grow up as a boy but now I'm expected to know how to be a man
@@Kaicoles5678 But why not play with them? What is the problem? Boys and girls can play football. If you wanna play football, then go on. If you don't, then don't. If you don't know how, ask them. You can do whatever you wanna do, no normal person will mind your company.
@@artyombrif9279 that may be the sentiment now but when i was at school 15-20 years ago, if a girl wanted to play football she was branded the school lesbian, whether she turned out to be gay or not... so generally, girls shied away from typically "male" hobbies for that reason. Now if you'll excuse me, i need to go have an existential crisis at realising its been a good 15 years since i was at school....
@@Claude_1303 That's a good question. I was always taught that the definition of a girl was a juvenile female human. But now I am being told I am wrong about that, so I am asking.
@@TransHippie Asking people questions to try and understand their position is _not_ harassment. _You_ were the one who directed me to this video so I could learn more about binary people's experiences; why are you now attacking me for trying to do that? As someone who is agender I literally do not understand what makes someone a trans girl.
As a young trans guy, thank you so much for this video. You’re only a few years older than me and the fact that you’ve been living a successful cis-passing life gives hope for teens like me who are currently that anxious teenager or young adult hoping that one day they’ll fit in. I’ve had dysphoria since I was 14. I’m now 17. Accepting myself is an everyday struggle but seeing people like me really does help.
Hi, all the love for you. However, I really recommend waiting a couple of years. Just so you're sure. I've seen so many sad detransitioner videos that I'm quite hesitant to encourage transition. Saying this from love, 14 seems so recent. But for each individual there is different things what is right for them. But In case you're a fellow tomboy, I just want to let you know that it is okay to be a masculine woman too.
Please don’t make assumptions about other peoples’s lives. Thank you for at least being polite about it but still, it’s not appropriate to try and parent other peoples’s children over the Internet, nor to go and make leaps and bounds about what you think is happening in the life of someone whom you’ve never met. I’ve socially transitioned in some aspects - but I’ve never undergone any medical interventions for my dysphoria and I don’t plan to until I’m 18. I could probably access that treatment, but I’ve decided to hold off on it. Don’t come to random people on the internet who identify as trans and try to school them on their identity because you saw some sad detransitioning videos in your recommended feed that one time. Most people who have to live with this on a day-to-day basis have already put more thought and research into it than many of the most popular conservative speakers who want to ban gender affirmative care across the board.
I'm cis and somewhat consider myself a conservative. I have never been anti LGBTQ, and many of the hard-core conservatives I know and work with are not anti LGBTQ either. That being said, this video completely changed my view on transgender people and gender itself. I know people who are transgender, and many of them I have known since we were both kids. When I learned that they had transitioned, it hits me like a ton of bricks, as those I grew up knowing are now new completely different people. I don't hate them when they transition, I would never hate someone who made the hardest decision of their and probably anybody else's life. But I would become flooded with confusion, shock, and complete disbelief. As a cis person, I have an extremely difficult time understanding gender and gender dysphoria because of the gender rules placed onto society have been engraved into my brain since birth. But this video has given me a much better understanding of transgender people, and I want to thank you. I never hear trans people tell their side of the story, it is always some cis person on Twitter or some idiot congressman, but hearing this issue from you completely changes things.
I have a lot of conservative friends and family, and I'm very lucky that the vast majority of them accept me as a trans woman, even when I struggle to look the part. We're so inundated by the most extreme parts of politics and social issues today that we often forget how diverse the general populace is. Thank you for having an open heart and empathy. It matters so much to us.
" I have an extremely difficult time understanding gender and gender dysphoria because of the gender rules placed onto society have been engraved into my brain since birth." Trans people have had those same rule engraved since birth. The difference is that those rules didn't feel completely wrong for you.
Thank you so much for being so open about learning, it does mean so much to me and to many others as well. You don’t need to understand, so don’t feel pressured to but you just need to be open minded like you are. Sending love! ♥️
"I am a man trapped in a women's body" it never resonated with me it was more like "I'm a man but I have a women's body" I came out when I was 11 I'm a month away from my 18th birthday now and I've never had gender affirming care, when I talk about my trans experience, trans people can't fully grasp what I mean, I forget I'm trans sometimes, and going back in the closet means, to me, becoming more manly, my brain can't comprehend that people don't think I'm a guy, I am a guy, just with an unfortunate medical anomaly, I wasn't born a girl, my body is just disfigured. I forget that other people have my type of body and identify with it because I myself don't think my body is like anyone else's in the entire world.
This might help me "grasp" it. I love philosophy and have a fair question that is not an attack or me being a bigot but trying to understand from a philosophical place. How can you know what it feels like to be something you have never been?
@@emd1494 you can apply this question to the opposite of what you are asking. In my experience as a trans man, I never knew what it was like to be a woman. Instinctually I see myself as a man, and I think an awful like like one, to the point where all the bullshit stereotypes and put-ons that I forced myself to live with before just melted right out of my brain as soon as I stopped trying to force myself to be a woman. I believe the way to truly understand this if you are cis, is to look at the gender of trans people who share that gender and try to imagine struggling with that. If you are a cis woman, think about how you would feel if your body looked more masculine and/or you showed characteristics of a man, and how that would hurt. Imagine what it would be like if you had a man's name, and everyone around you treated this as something that wasn't odd at all, because you look like a man, and sound like one, etc. Imagine waking up with a deeper voice and every time you speak, it just sounds *wrong* to you because it's too deep. I can only try to come up with so much cause I have no idea what it's like to actually want to be a woman other than denying myself authenticity, so I apologize if that wasn't a good enough scenario. If you are a cis man, imagine if your voice never dropped during puberty, imagine if you suddenly grew tits and everyone used that as a way to "identify" you as a "woman". Again, treating this as completely normal and without any malice, they just thought it was completely natural. Imagine your dick just vanished without a trace. It's quite an uncomfortable thought! Many binary trans people deal with this every single day. This is why the commentor we replied to says "my body is just disfigured" because our bodies aren't inherently wrong, they just don't completely match up with how we see ourselves. Your body is your body, and your brain is your brain. I don't know why it happens, nor do I really care, I just know that I will never understand what it is like to want to be a woman
Hopefully that answered your question lol. Basically, you may not ever have been TREATED like the gender you feel that you are, but that doesn't mean you never were it. Your body may have developed differently than you had hoped, but that doesn't mean that in your heart and mind, you aren't the gender that you feel that you are. There are two things that are incongruent with our bodies themselves, and both are malleable! Firstly, we all start growing as fetuses with the same parts, and sexual dimorphism occurs later in development - this is why in pregnancy, you must wait weeks before being able to find out the sex of the baby! Both female and male babies are born with nipples. Both female and male babies are born with erectile tissue, one just physically grows bigger on its own. Puberty gives us secondary sex characteristics- and that is simply the only thing that outwardly shows people how to gender children with clothes on- because otherwise you would have no clue, and I believe this to be why many trans people don't give a shit about gender until puberty, because suddenly people (yourself included) are EXTRA aware of what's in your pants and under your shirt. To my point, asking "how can you know you are something if you've never been it?" (paraphrased cause I'm onobile and can't actually read your comment as I type this), is essentially asking "society didn't see you as the gender you feel you are, so how do you know?" And to that I say, it is a bodily need for many trans people. If we were on a deserted island, we would still feel the same. No matter how society treated us, out identity will stay the same. Yes, it can absolutely confuse us due to arbitrary rules like say, if you're a trans man and don't have an issue with getting pregnant, and maybe even WANT biological kids- but you would still feel like you are the father of that child. It all depends on which body parts you're disgusted by or indifferent towards, or actually do like. Sorry if this got a little complicated. It's a complicated thing. Feel free to continue asking questions
@@satunbreeze I appreciate your honesty. I am trying to understand but like you said it's hard to explain. I guess from my point of view you cant know what it's like to be something you are not and your voice or cup size doesn't make your gender. Now if you are passable it might make your pronoun but and I understand that can make it easier to live with. My worry is that I can reverse around what you just said with these poor detransitioners who's voice is now stuck on deep from the hormones, who look down and they don't recognise what is between their legs, to have constant medical issues (I get is a risk up to them if they are an adult) but in a way these people are now stuck in the wrong body but they have the comparison of what it was like before. In a way what you are saying is religious in a small sense, to believe you were born in in wrong body or even the other way around would suggest you belive in a soul, in not just reproduction and your here type thing. There is more to it then that I believe also and is why I try to understand it on so many levels Psychology, religion, social, scientifically, medical, romance, se× life etc. I think a lot more treatment into this before any body modification would be key. I still won't understand how you can know what it is to be something you are not other then based of masculinity or femininity and they are not a gender. Nor is liking female things if you are male. I don't think any of that changes it so I'm trying to understand how they even come to the conclusion I suppose. I thank you for being open and not calling me names or shooting me down for asking.
I don't understand why this is such a hard thing for people to wrap their heads around. Everyone had stuff which their parents wanted them to "grow out of" but instead it became a keystone of their personality. Everyone has frustrating childhood memories of adults acting like they knew who you were going to grow up to be better than you did. This is just... a little more major of a misunderstanding than the norm.
Omg ('': as a trans (genderfluid) venezuelan, is so nice to see another trans latino youtuber, I remember your first videos and they were and still are very comforting to me! Proud of you, wishing you well!
@@TransHippieI'm transmasc(at least I'm pretty sure) and I am going through puberty right now and I hate it but I don't want to tell my mom either as I'm afraid she'll react badly but I don't think you can get puberty blockers without your parents knowing.
As an autistic mexican trans masc person who transitioned at 15 and did the stealth school switch, thank you. I have watched and appreciated your videos for years, and knowing you were also in this boat means more to me than I can express in words.
I am a trans guy still under my parents roof. I've been out for 4 years, and my dad isn't that supportive of it. Since he kinda runs the house, I cant medically transition or take hormones until I leave the house, get a job to pay for it, or just get over this "delusion". Watching this video made me feel a bit better about my situation. For anybody else with the same problem, know that it wont be like this forever, that's what I told myself 4 years ago. Very great video Alex! And happy pride month!
As a trans kid this means a lot to me. Thanks for making our struggles known. I’ve been living like this for 6 years and it hurts. It hurts feeling the weight of my chest and my higher voice. And I can’t do anything about it. Thanks for making our struggles known.
@@staraptorflock3661 Change your name. You're an insult to Pokemon. Pokemon isn't gender binary, you know that, right? It has male, female, and gender unknown (Nonbinary) Pokemon. Ditto is a genderfluid icon.
I'm cis, and my response to any and all gender nonconformity is simple "whether or not I will always understand is completely irrelevant because I trust that you know qnd understand your innerworkings better than I ever will"
I’m only five minutes in, this could get worse. But man, all those appointments? A new school? You sure had parents who believed in you. I’m so, so happy for you for that reason.
Don't know why the algorithm decided I should see this, but I'm not sad about it, as it was an interesting perspective to hear for this 45 year old tomboy (who is extremely tired of the bullshit 'why can't they just be tomboys' crap, trans men and tomboys are definitely different things!). I'm mostly leaving this comment for ~engagement~, good luck with everything!
@MsSjofn: I did not sit well me to listen to his opening sentences. I was definitely a tomboy and at the age of nine I wished I could be a boy. This was 68 years ago. As this person went on with his video I became disturbed by his opinion that gender affirming position should be expanded but had that been the case when I was nine, I might have been ‘persuaded’ by gender affirming counselling, parents, physicians, psychologists and surgeons to transition. Thank Christ that was not the case. I’m a very happy woman. As a percentage of the general population, gender dysphoria is very tiny. I’m happy for those that can live their lives as they choose now but I’m wary of ‘social contagion. My niece defined this phenomenon as ‘transtrenderism’ which I believe exists as has become evident with the disorders of anorexia, bulimia and cutting. So err on the side of caution.
@@iamanomas Being trans is not a trend. Why would anybody want to deal with this social stigma for a trend? Children are also not being "persuaded" into being trans. Getting treatment for gender dysphoria is an *extremely* lengthy process. Doctors tell you every little detail about what will happen to your body, you have to sign consent papers agreeing that you will be okay with each individual change. Younger children may be put on puberty blockers, and the effects of those are reversible. When you make a child wait, that can kill them. If you make a child go through a puberty that they do not want, that can kill them. Making a kid wait until they are an adult to transition doesn't stop them from being trans, it just makes them miserable.
@@iamanomas there's literally a study he cites that outlines the difference ... you and I only wished to be boys (likely because we could tell the patriarchy sucks, which it does), but trans boys say they ARE boys. It's a subtle but pretty clear difference, imo, and calling it a "trend" is ... bullshit.
"Kids have a vivid imagination and believe all sorts of things. Believe me, I know; when I was 12 years old I was a Libertarian." best punchline I've ever seen
@@macadoodle1237 kids will believe all kinds of wild things like Libertarian ideals that is the joke lmao This exact thing happened to me it's too relatable
I am a transgender woman and in high school I would often tell my friends that "I'm a woman living in a man's body," just to make my gender dysphoria easier for my cisgender friends to understand. You've obviously explained clearly and beautifully that's not the case, and recently I explained my gender dysphoria to my mom as "It's not that I wish I was a woman, It's that I miss being a woman." It's a very strange and uncomfortable feeling that I never had the chance to explain openly to anyone, and I thank you so much for making this video where I feel comfortable enough to convey this feeling freely, and I hope others feel safe enough to share similar feelings like this publicly as well. to anyone who comes across this, I hope you have a wonderful day :)
"It's not that I wish I was a woman, It's that I miss being a woman." that's crazy. that's such a great way to describe it. it's a very specific feeling, thank you for putting it into words.
Doesn't matter, if a female ghost possessed a male body forever, still had to follow the society rule that existed since ancient times. Unless the male body is turned 99.9999% female
I'm non binary, and knew it from about 4 years old. Despite knowing i wasn't a really a boy either, the thought and enforced act of being a girl had me in a constant state of self loathing and anxiety for nearly two decades. I self harmed a lot from a very young age, had constant meltdowns and even before I escaped the religion I threw myself wholeheartedly into the Goth aesthetic, which for some reason let me wear skirts without feeling like crawling out of my skin. I remember sitting in our culty little kingdom hall and pitching a heated, terrified, whispered 6yo tantrum about 'wishing I was a boy' so I could sit how I wanted. Despite never feeling the need to go through all the processes of physically transitioning, a LOT of this resonated with me. Even today, most dresses put me into a state of near-panic and anxiety the second I put them on. Aesthetically I love them, but I have never felt comfortable *in* them. It was SO damaging to have to cram myself into that 'demure feminine' mold, and at 47 I still have moments of breaking into a cold sweat when something pulls those memories out. One of the most joyful and relieved and comfortable times of my life was having my hysterectomy. I remember sitting there (at 39YO) trying to explain to an extremely hetero-centric counsellor that I was not upset I'd "never have kids" - I was weak kneed with relief that I'd never have to deal with my cycle again. I'd never again have to explain to random strangers that I never, ever want kids. No, I wasn't confused or devastated, I was *finally free* . I'll never forgive my family and the Australian healthcare system for refusing me a hysterectomy years earlier. It would have saved me SO much dysphoria, pain, health complications and self hatred. I don't think I'll ever untangle it all in my head, let alone be able to fully describe/explain my relationship with my own gender, but I know absolutely that I'm *not* a girl. As shit as the world currently is, I'm so freaking happy for generations younger than me have the internet and the understanding that we have now. I can't even imagine what it would have been like to be able to find understanding, support and family online. To know that despite the ever present vitriol, affirmation and acceptance is there in social media, even if it's not there at home.
As a trans woman, I find the relief of not having kids to be in relation to my AGAB. For me, personally, I would like to have a uterus and a cycle and all the messy stuff on its own merits. The option of having kids in a way that aligns with my perception of my sex is something I want. Maybe I wouldn't want the reality of having kids for other reasons, and that's fine. The idea of having kids by using this thing I don't want however is... terrifying. I'm sure it's terrible for you in a very different manner, but similar in some ways. Acceptance is definitely getting better, and my parents, despite being quite old (52 and 68 each) are accepting. Not good allies mind you, but they do respect my wish to be seen as their daughter, use she/her pronouns and a different name to what they gave me. How they talk about me when I'm not around I don't know but they do also fund my transition which is enough. Australia really needs to up its game on trans health however, in highschool just a few years ago so many of the trans kids there just CAN'T access transition before 18. I can't understate how much trouble this causes, especially when 18 is enough for people to have developed gendered traits they're uncomfortable with that are costly to reverse.
@TheWonderfulWhiteRace-ou8oh I’m not going to play along with your little game and pretend that you’re stupid enough to not understand what the actual point of that username is. This is all a motte and bailey dogwhistle situation. Reproducing symbols with clear historical significance and then playing dumb when you’re called on it like “oooh I don’t hate anyone I just want to be PROUD of being born into the lucky group whose lives suck less on average than everyone else”. You might fool people who think you’re stupid but you don’t fool the rest of us. I’m not going to waste any more time arguing here, I know I’m not going to change *your* mind, I mostly just wanted to put on record that someone with that username commented for people to laugh about in the future
I don't know what's more cringy, saying "old white straight cis male" or "the wonderful white race". People should put their smartphones down sometimes...
I’m a trans woman who has lived stealth for over 6 or 7 years and I’ve been on hrt ever longer. The hardest part for me is not being able to tell my friends, neighbors and etc that I was born a boy. My parents moved me to another state to restart our lives as my transition made life awkward for my family as well as myself. My parents are so accepting but I’ve sadly learned to never be able to open up about growing up as a boy. I’m a fully grown trans woman and my entire family went through a “transition “ of their own along side me. It is sad I cannot open up to my neighbors or roommates. It always ruins my relationships.
@@shanereynolds8651 I am very comfortable with cis people. I just am not comfortable talking to people who I see too often in daily activities about my private life. It will make things awkward if they don’t approve so I’ve learned from trial and error. All my friends are cis people. I just prefer to keep certain things to myself.
@@VaporVixen1990 Trust me having other trans friends is extremely liberating. In my experience you don't understand just how alone you felt until you find someone that actually gets it. Cis people simply don't get it.
@@starchilde8698 I do have a lot of trans friends. I used to go to a support group in a local lgbt community center for many years. I love my trans friends and my cis friends. I share a bond with my trans friends. It’s special to me very much ♥️
as a trans nonbinary person who now "passes" as male after medical transition, this video is hitting me hard, because i've felt like i've been hiding for years, too. thanks for being brave enough to share your truth, it gives me hope that i can be brave, too
As a parent of a transboy who just came out to me, I'm grateful for you giving me more insight into how this journey was for you. I was wondering if it would be better for my son to start over in a school that doesn't know he was born a girl. But I feel more confident now in our choice to let him transition at his own pace in the school he already feels comfortable in. He seems to feel good about it and I especially see the relief now he knows we will support him no matter what.
I once saw a better way to describe being trans than the "born in the wrong body", and it stuck with me since. Basically what it said was "You don't 'feel' gender unless something is wrong with it. It's like a bone. You aren't consciously aware of them unless something isn't right. Like a broken bone. And not getting the necessary treatment is as if you were forced to go do sports with a broken leg. It hurts. A lot". I have used this since because, though still not being exactly accurate (I don't think words ever can capture it), it is the one that seems most relatable to cis people.
@@D2Transphobia just stating reality. Females aren’t men. Obviously pregnant man? Laughable? Mangina? Hilarious. Why don’t you ladies just stay in your lane?
I am a transgender boy, I have had this 'title' for nearly an year now, I've felt this way since puberty started physically changing my body. I live in Florida and its just devastating to see every new law being put out, I'm only 13 and its honestly scary, that's the easiest way to describe it. I was really touched by this video, id be lying if I said I didn't cry, but that's a good thing. I just want to say thank you, thank you for putting this out there, I'm certain it will change at least one mind into a more accepting one.
You are loved and you are perfect. Above all, please don't lose hope, as that would be the first step towards defeat. It may seem like everything is falling apart with the constant anti trans legislation and rhetoric being thrown around, but we will never stop fighting. It doesn't matter how long it takes or how difficult the road is, we will win together. Happy pride 🩵🩷🤍🩷🩵
i'm in a similar situation. hi, i'm alex :) i came out as trans to my friends in 7th grade (12) , and i've known i was trans since i was 10. now I'm going into the 11th grade (17) and i'm still not out to everyone in my life because i live in south carolina. please know that it may be scary, but there are **always, always** people to lean on. it doesn't matter who they are. i can't promise it will get better quickly, but it will get better. you are loved, and you deserve to take up space in this crazy world. stay strong. you can and will make it through this. have a good pride, Matthew. you matter.
I'm a tomboy woman (I do not pass as a man), I take pride in my body hair and I still struggle with the fact that I am often deemed as lesser of a woman for it and I suffered with internalised mysoginy for a long time. I nearly identified as a trans man at one point but I quickly realised that did not feel right. I had been on a conservative binge, I was so angry at trans people but I was getting really tired of thinking this way and wanted to get out of it, so thank you. This video helped me out of that mindset. Trans people are amazing and strong.
@@Crazy_Diamond_75 when people get caught into a circle of hate that they believe is based on factual evidence it can be easy to be consumed with hate based on lies people tell you
i’m a neurodivergent trans boy. i’m also a teen. my parents have never been very open-minded about my neurodivergence, nor my gender identity. videos like these help me-and so many others-to feel seen, and i’m honestly considering sending this to my parents for them to watch
![Kumamoto Masters Japan 2024 | Gregoria Mariska Tunjung (INA) [5] vs. Akane Yamaguchi (JPN) [2] | F](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/EIjZybhsWqA/mqdefault.jpg)
You weren’t lying or being hypocritical by not sharing your transness outright. You’re opting to share that with us when you feel it’s right for you to do so. Another great video, Alex. Thanks for being you.
+
Yeah this is such a mind blown thing for me! It's just like nikkietutorials and Kim Petras. I had no idea they were trans!
exactly! everyone should have the choice to come out or not, no one should be forced to do something that's uncomfortable. if that means you come out extremely soon, later down the line or not at all, you're still absolutely valid. dont let anyone tell you how to live your life
@@zzzcocopepe with Kim Petras us Germans knew because she was on TV as a child to talk about her experience. So i personally thought everyone just knew and was surprised that she didn't really talk about it with her international audience apparently. It's not like she was hiding it and I also think there is nothing wrong with mot constantly coming out to new people again. I don't do that either but answer questions if someone asks otherwise it's just my life and I don't see cis people constantly coming out either.
This world is a miserable fucking place for us right now. There is no shame in not being ready to openly put yourself at risk by revealing to everyone who you are. Everyone should have a choice when to put themselves at risk like that, and for us (not just us but we as trans people are in this group) it's not a choice we can make by ourselves way too often. I lived through torture against my own will just because I happened to be born to transphobic parents, in a transphobic environment, whom put me through hell, and what always scared me the most was not being able to choose if I want to "bear a cross on my back" or not. I think being forced into something like this is one of the scariest things that can happen on this earth, and I lived through it, and it still scares me shitless. Even more after I've been forced into this already.
I'm a 30 yr old trans guy who's been mostly socially stealth for nearly 10 years, and I'm utterly exhausted by it. I've been struggling with whether I want to be more open and come out to people who I've known and loved for years and its extremely difficult.
I haven't finished the video yet, but it does my heart extremely well to see this. I want to be more open and I'm afraid of losing people, but seeing more people coming out of the stealth closet is really heartening and helps more and more trans people be accepted. Thank you for doing this, it helps a lot.
i'd suggest trying to figure out if they're transphobic or not
i hope everything goes well for you hun, its a scary thing to do but one of the most refreshing as well. Stay safe and have a happy pride!
also dont translate that message thats in arabic, its obviously scummy. If you dont believe me, just a trigger warning if you google translate
wow, I never really thought about it before but that _does_ sound super exhausting!
Hang in there bro, you got this :)
@@walnut_raisin2621 Yea, I got that impression and wasn't going to even bother.
I’m a 76yo gay man, had my first boyfriend in 1963. I have struggled to understand trans people. I’ve always tried to support them, as allies have supported me all my life. Your video is helping me gain understanding of your world. Thank you. The information you present is important, your presentation however is absolutely wonderful!!!
I think that I love How you view the world. Do you fully understand my experience as a trans woman? No.... But... do you understand that I struggle to be respected, and have my basic right to life and liberty respected? Yes!!
You do it not because you agree with me,...but because...
It's the right thing to do.
Thank you.
Wow I really want to hear you talk about being gay in the 60s, that sounds so interesting
This video is very educational
@@clarissanavarro2762 sorry but you typed so manly
@@olaf-chan-728 You are being rediulous. Never heard of someone typing " Manly".
I mean what does that even mean? What segment of the y gamete results in "manly typing" ?? lol....
I'm impressed by your courage. Not everyone would be willing to use such a public platform to admit that they were once a Libertarian
All men are libertarian for a while, even trans men. Most grow out of that sort of magical thinking.
@@TransHippie I'm not male, but I'm a left-libertarian. Do I count?
@@ariabkit just ain't the same
@@DUWANGlai_kangyisocial libertarianism has an air of having actual thought put into it at some point that capitalist libertarianism just doesn't have ya know
I'll never understand this open embrace of authoritarianism.
Why have so many people on the left become bootlickers all of a sudden?
As a trans masc the tumblr post gave me chills. The person framing their post as if they were doing you a favor when they were essentially outing you. You’re incredibly brave for continuing this channel after a blow like that, and I know for a fact your channel has helped so many (including myself). Thank you for sharing your journey with us.
Right 😮
And they fact they used “woman or child using a voice changer” when they were dressing who they thought was a trans man
@/Ville/: ***man
god ikr
I'm a trans alien from Ohio
'Girlhood wasn't so bad but being a woman just wasn't in the books for me' holy shit dude i've never knew how to say how i felt about being a little girl in relation to my gender now, but you expressed it perfectly
Same!! 🤯
Dude , this is litterally me, I liked when I was younger but when puberty hit i kinda realized I was trans
@@Zeldas_Stars i realised a bit later, but i had a cringe period of trying to make womanhood work lol
@@fanatykpasztetu7964 I went through like questioning genders before I actually just accepted that I was just trans too, it might just be because I've always felt like I'm in a safe place and my parents are both LGBTQ+ but I was most definitely trying to say I could be anything but a guy, I remember me and my friend as 9 year olds sitting in my room and I just went "I just want to be a boy" and my friend just answered "Me too" turns out, I'm a trans guy and they're Nonbinary
Same here.
“Do i feel a forceful pull towards male identity? Yeah. I couldn’t live any other way. But to say i know the location of this pull, to say i know the mechanism of this pull, the shape of this pull, that would be at best an exaggeration, and at worst a lie.”
I think that’s something people don’t talk enough about gender identity. Cis people will often dismiss the transgender experience as something that they can’t understand so they have an excuse for ignorance, but trans people don’t know what’s going on either, all we know is that one thing feels wrong and the other feels right. And as a trans man, hearing someone finally say that and not try to explain it as “a man in a woman’s body” or even anything really physical, just a feeling, was like a breath of fresh air honestly.
As one of those cis people, I agree. I've always gone with the "man in a woman's body" perspective to help myself understand trans people I know, but it never seems to fit the whole picture, and I am left confused when it just makes my relationship with that person even more hostile.
“Do I feel a forceful pull towards male identity? Yeah. I couldn’t live any other way. But to say I know the location of this pull, to say I know the mechanism of this pull, the shape of this pull, that would be at best an exaggeration, and at worst a lie.”
This^ is valuable as a perspective that helps me empathize with my fellow human beings, who just like me, are finding themselves in life and don't need to have all the answers to everything, an expectation that might drive me crazy if everyone demanded that I know what I am and why I am in every interaction.
I guess I feel like a kid going up to people and asking "why are you different?" and then when they get angry at me for asking that question, I learn to stop asking.
Yeah, I'm some flavour of nonbinary/genderqueer and this description of gender fits my personal experience so much more accurately than "man in a woman's body" or anything like that
It’s also how love works. We don’t know to perfectly describe it so it can fit everyone’s way of describing it because everyone is different towards it. A lot of phenomenons are unexplained and don’t have a concrete truth or explanation. The same thing for beauty.
Exactly! 🤍
I've tried to find ways to describe gender dysphoria, and the best way I can describe it is as a feeling that this thing feels wrong and this other thing feels right. It never felt right to say women in a man's body because to me that delves into religious and spiritual matters, which I don't think apply.
I like to describe it as an existential itch, but more extreme than an itch, maybe more like an existential burn that exacerbates until I have a mental breakdown, then it would sort of reset til it worsened again. The only thing that's really alleviated it is HRT. I could also bury myself in video games or books to help alleviate it, but I'd always have to come back from those dissociation experiences back into reality where I'd have to deal with it somehow
Hey Alex! It's Viola, from across the hall freshman year. I saw this on my feed - here's to continuously reinventing how we see ourselves, the world, and the best way to relate one to the other.
You are such a kind and sweet soul pls never change
Viola is a nice name :)
"I don't want my voice to be held hostage by the fears of a 15-year-old self." FUCK that hit me hard. Immediately started sobbing.
Be your beat self lovie!! You got this!!!
Best
@@prozierozie5692 Thank you so much!!! The same to you
No be held hostage by the decision of your 15 year old self instead smh
@@briarfox6129 Why?
funny enough, As a Cis man. Listening to the plight of trans men really helped me understand the trans issue, because while I was born male, I always had fem qualities I hated. My voice is high for a cis guy, I have "man boobs" and I have small hands. The stories of trans men have always related to me. So if your a trans man, understand your feelings are felt by cis men too, and those feels should also be affirmation in a weird way. lol
Thank you - a trans man with small hands
As a trans man who got his tiny little hands from their cis dad, it's nice to not be alone :)
Your right. Also anyone can feel gender dyshoria or even euphoria. Trans people just obivously have it hit harder.
there is so much misogyny in society that tells men having any feminine qualities is the most shamneful and embarrassing thing that could possibly ever happen to you. so while people need to unlearn internalized transphobia, we all need to unlearn internalized misogyny too
It's interesting to hear about the other side of the coin, I have all of what you described though I am a trans woman so all those descriptors were always points of euphoria rather than hatred.
The fact that he recorded this in his wardrobe though. We stan a comedic king
@ville__He’s a transman tho?
@Ville he, and if you were deliberately misgendering him that's not even the right tense to use for the pronoun?
That individual (who's spamming all the comments with the anti-trans pronoun "corrections") is notorious. They are all over 90%+ of the creators I follow.
Imagine having such an empty life that all you do all day is search for *any* video by or about non-cis people just to do that on *every* single comment all day every day.
(I report every single one I see, but it doesn't get addressed unless YT gets a flood of reports or an admin bans them. Still, I try.)
@@searchingfororion just reported them for spam 🥰
@@searchingfororionTo help, I will report it, all the comments and channel
Have we ever considered just letting people live without oppressing them
Humans normally nail people to crosses if they suggest such things.
@@TransHippie I'll sacrifice myself
@@TransHippie lmao 😭
like please just leave me ALONE
@Acornsgo - sure if they are adults who can consent to all the side effects and life long consequences. And If they don’t flaunt and force their ideology and delusions on everyone as if it is fact. But teaching kids they can change their sex or going as far as encouraging it IS abuse. And just like all other forms of abuse it should be taboo and banned by society.
I am not a political issue. I am a person.
This. It feels so alienating to hear politicians talk about me as if I'm something to debate.
@@Elenuayexactly!! this is what I’ve been saying
APIB: Assigned political issue at birth
like other people mentioned, its really fucking weird and kinda scary to see how people dehumanize those of us who dont fit their version of normal just so they can talk down to us
@@NotVille bro what 😟
I had a trans friend in high school that i had no idea was trans until i moved in with him, his gf at the time, and his mom. I saw his baby pictures and i was super confused when his mom kept calling him by his what i would later learn was his dead name. I finally asked him the very last time i saw him (he was helping me get out of a dangerous situation) was he a girl at some point. His response was, "if you feel that you have to ask me that, i think you have your answer." I truly hope he's doing well. He was an amazing person.
Edit: Thanks for 1k likes :3
Why did you cut contact with him? If it has anything to do with the question, just send him a message apologizing for the way you've approached it and say you're more sensitive and better educated now - and tell them you still wanna be friends because they still matter to you. If that's not the case, I still hope you can work it out. Friends, especially the loyal ones, are so difficult to find, it's a pity to lose a connection like this.
@@nanda_ Why apologize for asking a question 🤔??? ''I apologize for asking a question and not staying in hypocrisy!!!''
@Sidney H. I agree, i think they just move on into a new chapter in life after they finish High School. thats how it is sadly.
@@K-Lys.. How dare you ask a question to a trans person? They are the ones possessing gnosis, you should shut up and listen.
@@nanda_ I suspect that the "he was helping me get out of a dangerous situation" part is why they stopped seeing each other. It seems as though bluemoon knew it was the last time they would see each other and that they were close enough for bluemoon to feel comfortable asking the question, I doubt it was a falling out. My guess is that the friend helped bluemoon move far away from an abusive family, and that living with the friend was a temporary part of that process. I don't know how old this story is, but my guess is that it happened before things like Facebook were readily available to keep people connected over long distances.
I admit that I could be completely wrong on this assessment, but it seems to match up with the tones in bluemoon's comment and I hope it helps you find some closure to your curiosity without forcing bluemoon to talk about something so difficult.
Your story is my son's story. You came out at the same age, you both went through high school stealth, started therapy at the same age, and the way you described your childhood is exactly like his. He's a theatre kid, and he's Latino; he even looks like you. Thanks for telling your story.
i wish you and your son nothing but love and prosperity
Hi Craig! Thank you for sharing this. I really hope you and your son are doing great. 🥰
You failed your kid.... time will show and you have nothing but that with constant medical intervention and meds on a healthy body that didn't need it otherwise. The side effects alone are a risk.
Your child when look back with adult lense will regret it and you could of saved that and their health. You now cut your childs chances back by half to find a partner in life.
@@emd1494 You failed to learn anything from this video. Continue watching it until you actually learn.
@@Corbomite_Meatballs I learnt that you cherry pick studies to suit your agenda and can easily link a video of experts who lost their job if they don't go along with it and a lot of that is happening. Stay in your echo chamber all you want. Just a coincidence almost EVERYONE in this comment section is claiming they are trans 🤣. Wait for the new study in 15 years when you all come out the other side of this brainwashing.. or even half of you.
Too many adults speaking out and having regrets to do this to kids it's disgusting.
”Girlhood wasn’t so bad but being a woman just wasn’t for me” The inverse of this is basically how I've been living life, manhood isn't so bad, but being a man just isn't for me. I'm grateful for all the experiences I've had due to it but it's time to let my real self out, you know?
That’s how I feel I’m also a trans girl
You wouldn't know your real self if it punched you in the face, the devil has you confused😢 God doesn't make anyone trans
God doesn't make mistakes. The Devil has you confused. Most people know how to present as their REAL self but 'society' has a different box for them to live in@@busybody1474
@@busybody1474
i spoke to God, It's cool with it.
I GET THAT SO MUCH I don’t hate that I was born male but I’ve never actually felt deeply connected to manhood or masculinity. And though I’m non-binary not trans it still has a similar effect where i want to express myself in a way that isn’t traditional but feels true to myself
The “cutting off Barbie’s hair” line instantly put tears in my eyes and I instinctively covered my mouth. The feeling of being 9 years old again in the backyard with my cousin after we cut off all of Barbie’s hair and buried her in the dirt hit me like a truck. We both came out as trans masc as young teenagers and we supported each other in our journeys ever since.
Last week we lost him to a heart attack. He was well loved by our trans community and I’m so glad he got to live as the man he truly was for the last 6 years before he passed. I wish he could have seen this video. He would have loved it. Thank you for making this
Sending you so much love ❤
I'm glad you were able to have such a beautiful and supportive friendship with your cousin. I may be a stranger on the internet, but just know that I appreciate you sharing this story and I'm sending you my support
((HUGS))
rest in piece, all the best to you sunny 💗
@Ville You okay buddy? You seem kinda lost. Do you need help?
Your description of not exactly hating being a girl, it just doesn't work was so spot on for me. Gender wasn't really something I thought about much as a young kid; it didn't seem important. The "girl" descriptor was mainly just accepting what everyone told me about myself. Who cares, it doesn't make a difference.
Then puberty happened and everything got way worse. But I was determined that I could get over it if I tried hard enough. I even tried swinging hard into overt femininity since that's what being a girl is, right?
I finally came out as a trans man when I was 32. It's been 4 years, I've been on T for 3 of them and had top surgery 2 years ago.
Did it magically fix every problem in my life? Of course not. But it works for me. It works really well.
So much like my own story! But I just started taking T this year at the age of 42! Can’t wait for top surgery! Thanks for sharing your experience!
@@yourmom2189 Congratulations! Hope everything goes well and living life finally starts to feel normal.
@@austinluther5825 thanks!
That Tumblr post was way out of line, I'm so sorry. Outing someone who's not ready is a horrible thing to do.
What upsets me the most is how casual they were about it, even sounding like they were doing you a favour by pointing it out.
People do it all the time, it's weird. Talking about real people like lgbt+ headcanons. I'm sure they had no ill intent, but keep it to yourself.
@@cassidyb.3531 Exactly.
yeah, shit was wretched. especially that part when they say "i messaged them some tips 😇😇" like congrats do you want your sticker? your good ally star for saying he sounds like a child? i wish with all my heart i could go back in time and tell them to eat shit.
@@md-fi7zt they're the type of person to go up to a queer person and say "i just wanted you to know i think you are really brave for going out like that☺️☺️☺️"
yeah it almost sounded like it came from a good place, what with them sending him advice on how to pass better, yet then following that up with outing him, completely ruining the initial intention.
I am still greatful for HBomberguy recommending your channel in his latest video.
Although I am not trans, this is so touching and really interesting
Do you mind me asking what video it is? it sounds like it would be an interesting video!
@@creepercat8536 It's thr newest video by Hbomberguy about plagiarism
@@nomercyformayhem2506 are you the flash? Jesus that was fast thank you!
@@creepercat8536 Got a notification about your comment, so I could answer fast 😁
I was initially saddened when I learned that James Sometron was a plagiarist, but I am glad that it led me to finding so many *better* channels with video-essay content.
So im like 3 minutes into this and also a trans man myself, i do plan on watching the whole thing, but, i just wanna say:
i think im about the same age as you and in high school and college i watched almost everything you made, and i had such gender envy for you. back then as a teen i assumed you were cis and you were the cis gay masculinity i wanted but never could have, esp since you were also brown like me. you seemed attractive and confident and extremely gay. it's just cool to know my assumption that i never questioned about your gender was wrong and my gender envy has been towards another trans person this whole time. sorry if this doesnt make sense, your videos have meant a lot to me
Exactly the same for me but I didn't realise I was trans at the time😅
that segment at 24:08 about dysphoria hit me
@@orangepeelz3579 right?! Even the conversation around language used to describe gender in medical fields not being accurate felt pretty great too.
update now that I'm done with the video:
movement 4 hit hard. I've been asking myself these same questions a lot lately and they've definitely been hurting more than helping. i feel i was more secure in my gender identity as a boy/guy/man earlier in my transition than now- i do not regret any of it and i am most definitely a man- but i had less questions about what manhood and gender meant then than now. i don't have the answers and was a little disappointed you didn't either- i was hoping someone would. but I'm glad they've been asked. maybe one day we'll figure it out.
Same for me too. I always thought he was such a shining beacon of cool, cis gay masculinity that was something to aspire for. I've loved his channel for so long, I obviously had no clue. Okay, going to continue watching the video now, much love to all trans guys :]
as a cishet guy, i dont have a good reason for why i feel like a man. I just do. Sure my body helps reinforce that idea, but that is why gender affirming care is so important. Thank you.
Based and ally pilled
you feel like a man, because you are a man. That's it. If you ask trans people, they only have sexist things to say "I always liked girl's stuff". So what, many effeminate gay dudes always liked girls stuff, too.
YOU UNDERSTAND
CLASSIC ALLY W
BASED!!!!
As a trans man in the closet... This is a very important message.... Thanks Alex for being there for all of us 🏳️⚧️
Mensage lol
@@aerosquid262sorry... English isn't my first language.... ( And I'm also dyslexic...) I don't know how to write even in my own language 😂
@@jorgecho1987 No need to apologise! If anything, I should be apologising, I didn't know!😅 I just found it funny cuz he's a trans man, and men-sage just sounded funny and fitting in my head!
hey trans brother:)
i am closeted too, for 3+ years. good luck to you on your trans experience and journey ❤!
Watching this is painful. It makes me realize on a gut level what my son had to go through while growing up. Trust me, no mother wants to see their child suffer. I may have given birth to a daughter, but I am the proud mother of a strong and beautiful son. Watching this just makes me think about what he might have been going through when he was younger, and it hurts. Trust me, mothers just want to make sure their children are happy. I'm very glad that he always knew who he really was. I never had to guess. He knew. He's engaged to a beautiful girl who is the sweetest person I've ever met.
You’re a beautiful soul.
hope you and your son can live a beautiful and happy life ❤
Your son is very lucky to have a mom like you ❤
❤❤❤
He was my first born and I was almost 30. I remember holding him and thinking that I loved this person more than anything on earth, and that my entire job in life was to raise him so that he could go out into the world, and in a way I would lose the biggest love of my life. That's why you get those overbearing boy moms and crap. In some way, you loved him so much you don't want to ever let them go. As they grow up, and you see them having their own lives, it's such a strange feeling. You're so proud and yet so profoundly sad that that close bond you had is going to go away, and you were going to have to deal with this person in a different way. Sometimes it makes you react in ways that aren't helpful, and sometimes I made terrible mistakes. It's hard to let go. He's a very strong personality who always knew the direction he was going in, but he would never talk about sexual orientation or even the talk about sex as your kid gets he would just brush it off and say he's not having sex and don't worry about it and he's not gay lalalalala but it was so obvious to both me and his father. It was my religious sister who how did him. He moved in with her for a bit thinking she could get some work out there. There was a shared computer and my sister read a love letter to a girl that he had met at comic-con. Basically he was kicked out because she homeschools her son and is very judgemental and wants to hide him from the world. He doesn't share much, but it's so fun to be around him. He's funny in the way that most of my family is kind of sarcastic and mean. His partner is like a rainbow unicorn, full of giggles and positivity, but a little less responsible. I'm sorry I'm writing a novel, but although he's accepted by my other relatives, which really only consists of my father and mother, it's kind of a we don't talk about it situation. With the exception of a couple of jokes my dad said about my sister not handling the situation well, everybody just treats him like anyone else in the family. I never got to process the feelings I went through. Just being scared for him, and at the same time him growing older and realizing he was going to grow up and leave me, combined with how proud I was that he was so strong and brave and responsible, just so many feelings that I didn't get to share with anybody, which is why I'm sharing it here. It's so hard to let go of your kids and watch them grow up, but at the same time it's so amazing to see them become real people with their own hopes and desires and wishes and dreams and lives. I can't understand parents who want to control who their child is. I'm not a great mom. I made lots of mistakes. They just weren't mistakes related to ever loving him or worrying about his gender identity or sexual orientation or whatever. Whomever he was, he was. He was a girl, then he was a lesbian, now he's a man. Everybody changes, and I'm so proud of him and I tell him but he gets embarrassed so I guess that's why I'm babbling here because I don't get to tell him all these things because he doesn't like to talk about all the feels. Thank you for showing me points of view on how it is to grow up to be a person like him. It makes me even more proud of him and empathetic towards him. I can't understand how anyone could feel any other way about their child. All that love. How can that change? Everybody changes over time everybody. That's what life is. Oh my God this is so huge oh I'm so sorry I need to stop
As someone who has a baby, and is finding it insane how many products are aimed at gendering someone who has only just discovered they have feet, I appreciated the dramatic zoom on the bow in the baby picture.
I was recently buying a card congratulating some family members on the birth of their new baby. You'd think it'd be easy to find something that just says "baby" or "bundle of joy" or "new addition to the family". Only one card out of 15 or so.
Yeah, I remember buying sheets for my eldest and being asked "boy or girl?". I was like "I mean, I asked for *sheets*, you know".
I think it's because when babies are just born we don't know anything about their personality, so to a lot of people their sex is the only interesting aspect that can focus on. They just don't realize how weird is it to be hyperfixated on it
It's not even just children some people get angry at people who accidentally misgender their pets.
I don't correct anyone and my youngest cat constantly get called a girl. He doesn't care as long as they give good belly rubs. I'll tell people his name and I genuinely had someone yell at me because I didn't correct them. Calmly stated the same I said here, Hermes doesn't care this happens regularly and has his entire 7 years of life. No need to feel bad about this.
Babies don't care either and my nephew was called a girl and my nieces were called boys and we just all went with it when it was a stranger because it's just more of a hassle to correct them than just let them look at the baby and then you move on and never see them again. People also constantly misgendered me as a baby apparently because our parents just really didn't like the typical baby pink and blue and I was dressed in green and red and all the other colors that aren't really gendered unnecessarily. I think it's funny now as a 30 year old nonbinary person but even as a child it just didn't matter to me. Babies don't exactly know what they are called when they are freshly outside the womb.
Yep, I've had so many people tell me I'll regret my hysterectomy and change my mind. I had a hysterectomy because my cramps were so bad I PASSED OUT!! I have plenty of regrets. Not getting it sooner. Not suing the docs who gave me PTSD. Not walking out of an appointment. Not preparing my home better beforehand.
Yep, it’s the same thing with people getting their tubes tied, informed consent is what’s important. If you can comprehend the risks then no one should stop you from doing what’s best for you.
i had no clue. as a trans dude struggling with gayness and dating cis men, this video is earth shattering. thanks man, i needed it
Me too. It's rough. Stay safe
My whole family is heavily christian, and at least my father is VERY transphobic. He actively talks about how trans people dont deserve any rights and shouldn't be part of society. And here I come feeling extreme gender dysphoria. No one in real life knows about it, because I am seriously scared of what would happen. Because of the envionment i've grown up in I also have internalized transphobia, so I struggle to be myself online as well. I am biologically male, and every time i think of someone finding out I'm not a cis woman I can feel my skin crawl.
I'm just so lost and have no idea what to do anymore. I can't be myself in real life, and I can't fully interact with others online while being myself. I don't have money for a therapist, and I don't have any friends I'm comfortable opening up to. I've never attempted suicide, but I've been very close multiple times. I just have no clue where to go from here.
I doubt anyone is going to see this, but just writing it out sort of feels like i can let off a bit of the weight.
I see you, and empathize with your fear and pain. I grew up many years ago, but in an equally cisnormative environment. You are not the defective one in your family; your father is. I don't know how old you are, but one day you will be old enough to walk away from him for the last time. Protect your egg until that day. There is joy and gender euphoria on the other side which will be forever lost if you harm yourself out of desperation. It's not all dysphoria and depression, I promise.
Your identity is valid, and it is yours to define, no matter what anyone else tells you. I hope this gives you some small peace of mind, and if you have any questions, please ask.
im sorry man. im here for you
Whether or not your father or the rest of your family come around, I hope you know that the only person whose thoughts on your identity matter is you. It’s near impossible to keep going, though, when the Venn diagram of you and your support system is just a circle, so please remember that there are people out there willing to become your found family if the one you were born with doesn’t cut it.
Read your Bible, find God, reject modernity and run to Christ
@@silloweetas a Christian trans woman: STFU. Stop dragging my savior's name into your political agenda.
I'm not trans, just a young lesbian, this video just made me learn a lot, we all should be in this together as the community we’re supposed to be. Thank you so much for sharing Alexander. Hope everyone who read this have a good pride month, and a good life :)
@Ville we don't want your pov
We're all in this together. I say this as both a lesbian, and as a trans woman.
Conservatives are trying to end us. If they succeed, they'll move RIGHT along to... Us.
Happy pride month.
@Ville Oh I'm sorry. Do you at least have a mother?
@Ville Hun you don't have to keep telling everyone you're fatherless. Get a therapist for it
as a latino trans man, i dont see many people that look like me in any sort of spotlight. this means so much to me
Me too, it's hard being trans in latin culture because religion is extremely ingrained. I've suffered worse transphobia with my latin friends and relatives than the american ones, they ask very personal questions. It's a part of why I don't interact with Hispanic content at all and mostly avoid hispanic cis men
Laith Ashley is a Dominican trans man. He's a model/ activist/ actor. And stars in Taylor Swifts latest video.
Tell me about it man 💀 im a latino nonbinary person and like. The culture is kinda very gendered 💀
I’m a closeted Latino transmasc and having to interact with my family is Suffering
@@SomeBoyHere !!! my brother is FTM trans & our mother is an immigrant from Ecuador. you can only imagine how well that went over with her before she finally accepted it lmao
I'll be honest, when I saw the title and thumbnail, I thought you had made a video about how you thought you were a trans girl as a child, and later detransitioned, realising you were a cis man in the end, and this video was made in support of trans people by an ally. I guess I'm just really bad at clocking fellow trans men! This was a wonderful video, thank you for making it
I thought so too. I was like ooohhhh no... been seeing too many detransitioners throwing trans ppl under the bus.
@@KrystalklearEntertainment detransisioning can be part of someone’s gender identity journey and a lot of people who detransition are still in some way trans… genderfluid, nonbinary, agender,… throwing them under the bus and demonizing people who detransition isn’t the move
@@localabsurdist6661 I understand. However when I'm talking about detransitioners who throw trans ppl under the bus I'm talking about the ppl who choose to shake hands with terfs and GCs and are actively inspiring the anti-trans movement and legislation. Detransitioning as an action itself is not a problem. Everyone have their own path, but it just isn't right that some ppl, in which transitioning didn't work out for them, is trying to take away that access from others.
@@KrystalklearEntertainment Agreed, I've never met a trans person who was hostile to someone for detransitioning. If, though, they try to take their individual experience, sad as it might be, and try to apply it to others, I and many others have a hard time with that. Tools of the TERF's are people with bad intent and should not be spared criticism for trying to go on an anti trans crusade.
@@localabsurdist6661 as someone with a transgender sibling, we kind of agree that being transgender is one or the other. meaning you either identify as female or male, obviously based on which gender you were assigned at birth. the whole non-binary/multiple genders thing is what’s given impressionable teenagers that trans or transitioning is a fad & something you can just decide on a whim since its so “normalized” now…ultimately making actual transgenders taken less seriously & painted in a bad light. not saying people cant have gender identity issues but if you’re that confused whether you dont know you identify as 1 of the 2 genders, that seems like cause for something else (whether it be mental illness?) & should be dealt with as such before slapping the trans label on yourself. my brother would never think to detransition as he resembles a male, the gender he most felt like since he was able to dress himself at 4/5 (edit:) furthering our notion that those who detrasnitioned because they didnt feel right even after transitioning…most likely weren’t trans to begin with
I just had this profound realisation about myself while watching this video that I was born and raised a girl and grew up to be a man. Neither of these parts negate each other, and accepting both frees me.
If there are any Floridian trans people reading this, just know you have supporters in your state. We are here supporting you, voting for you, doing what we can to help.
Yup!
💖 thank you so much especially in these hard times
thank you. i needed this. happy pride
@@rinnittt happy pride 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️❤️
@@lmcb8447 🏳️⚧️🏳️🌈❤️
When I was 16, I started sincerely questioning my gender and sexuality. I remember being rejected for HRT by my doctor at age 19. I remember being told by a girl at the bar that I must be gay having been bedded by a guy, and that being Bisexual is just an excuse. I remember being rejected by a guy because I refused to have sex with him, being a wacky asexual and all. Over the last 9 months of finally starting to embrace who I am and go along on my journey, it's given me time to reflect on all of these experiences.
If anyone reads this entire comment, just know that you are seen. You are loved. You are valid. You can overcome. You are so much more powerful than you can ever know. Happy Pride ❤🧡💛💚💙💜🤎🖤🤍
❤
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Lotta straits, especially cis-females, refuse to believe theres even such a thing as bi. They think its just gayism in denial. If a women you've been with, later finds out you'd been with a man at some point, they freak out. They wanna assault you.
I'm a trans man and have been a fan for a few years. I had no idea you were also trans, but I'm so proud of you for having the bravery and strength to do what you needed to do to survive. Also, that tumblr post was extremely inappropriate. If no one else says it, I wanted to make sure people know that.
@Ville Ahahhahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahaahahhahahahaha (How much you laugh when you misgender someone)
That someone: Oh, a bitch in the wild
@ville__ow rehehe haha thats so funny !!
you do realize you arent changing anything, right? misgendering ppl isnt going to make them go ‘aw shit ur right! i’ll just be cis then, my bad’? youre just trying to make ppl feel shitty out of spite and rage? and then you argue that youre the morally correct party ????
If anyone is wondering how bad things are in Texas, I've had to find a new endocrinologist this year beacuse my previous doctor and their entire department was fired after being "exposed" for helping minors. A lot of people went there for care and resources: I even got consultation for my name change at a free clinic there. It's really troubling to see vital support like that wiped out just for properly taking care of people.
If they were medically transitioning minors, they absolutely should be shut down.
@@micahslash ...
Social transitioning is fine, that's reversible. Minors are not old enough to have life altering surgeries that aren't medically necessary, including hormone blockers (because yes, those are permanent, no matter what you want to say. The research shows otherwise. I don't see why this is a controversial statement in any way.
@@micahslash the research shows that it is reversible. It also helps the minor, and nobody is performing surgery like that on minors unless, apparently, bigger boobs on cis girls. Cis. Girls
@@micahslash and u say "life altering" as if it's bad, even though it (most of the time) reduces depression, gender dysphoria, and risk of suicide.
Not kidding when i say, as a bi trans guy, that i remember watching some Are They Gay videos. And i was jealous of you as a "cis" queer guy. Being a trans male that's bi vs a cis male that's bi. Is so different. You're seen so differently. And i was jealous of you. Seeing that you were trans the whole time. Gives me some weird hope. Proud of you Alex.
i relate to this comment so much
^^ my experience exactly. not sure i can articulate it as well as you but it’s kind of a mindfuck being trans and gay/queer… it’s a lot easier being proud of the latter and it’s easy to envy cis gay/queer men for not having to struggle with the former..
A few years ago when I started watching your channel I thought I was straight. I eventually realized I was bi, but I was scared. I didn’t know what it meant, I was scared that there was something wrong with me, but the more I watched your videos, I realized that being LGBTQ is not only normal but freeing. I leave this comment to say that your channel means a lot to me, and this video is going to mean a lot to so many people. This video is important. Happy pride month.
Thank you for saying this, I feel the same. Also happy pride month!
@@nobitches707 Happy pride month🖤
@@nobitches707 you too!!
This is absolutely true and you put it into words so nicely. Thanks for your comment and have a great pride month!!
That’s how propaganda works.
This video is so profound. “I don’t want my voice to be held hostage by the fears of a 15 year old self.” Thank you for this ❤
@ville__I do
@Ville What's with you always stalking videos focused on trans issues? Get a hobby, seek therapy, and leave us alone. If you're trying to overcompensate for possible internalised transphobia, then let's talk about it.
@ville__ oh so you're a real groomer?
@ville__ ok groomer, you "fooled" us there
@Ville Yeah, and we charged it to your bank account, too! Thanks, honey 💕
Fun fact. If you make a Cis gendered person conform to the sex they don't identify with for a few months, they also suffer from genderdysforia. After a while they get depressed, start suffering suicidal thoughts and wince every time they are addressed with the gender they were made to present as.
There was a CIS woman who for her acting role, played a girl who pretended to be a boy so she could play soccer. For the shoots she had to cut her hair short, bind her chest, walk and talk a certain way and got treated like a dude in character... just in character.
That actress got depressed and describes feelings of genderdysforia.
Dysforia isn't a 'trans' thing. It's a 'being forced to present as the gender that you're not' thing.
It's ironic that one of the most harmful books targeting us is called irreversable damage. Because the most irreversable damage a trans person suffers is being forced to go through the wrong puberty. Puberty blockers don't just save lives, they save futures.
If I remember right, Amanda Bynes said her dysphoria came more from seeing herself as a boy on screen after the film was made.
There is SO MUCH that trans people experience that is pathologized but no one has even bothered studying whether cis people experience it too. For instance, the terven masses love to screech about AGP the second a trans woman expresses feeling sexy in her body...while ignoring that what is pathologized as AGP is a completely normal thing that cis women experience. Cis women also think about their own bodies and sexual characteristics and feel turned on! (And tbh that was sort of another tick in the column of me realizing I was a trans man, because I have never once thought about my chest or my genitals and felt sexy -- at their best, my AFAB characteristics have been things I could use as tools, more utilitarian than anything. So it really does turn out that thinking of your own body and feeling aroused is just a quirk of womanhood.)
@@MorganChaos whats agp?
@@usernameisusernam Autogynephilia, a "paraphilia" where a man is aroused by the thought of himself with a female body. It's used to portray trans women as not women, just men with a fetish, but as I said, it's something cis women also do. It's not a paraphilia if it's normal.
@@MorganChaos thank you ^^
As a trans person who is currently considering leaving the closet, this was a really wonderful message. Honestly im so proud that you were comfortable to come out to everyone and thank you for being there to support everyone that is going through it 🌈🌈
do the thug shaker for me
@@michaelbfagoli4444 you're bald
remember to stay safe and only come out if you’re absolutely sure you have a support system. i hope everything goes well and you get to live authentically ❤
Good luck!
((MOM HUGS)) Take it at your pace.
It's awful that every queer and trans also has to be an activist. We can't just exist, we constantly have to fight for our right to exist.
Innit
who is denying your right to exist?
@@dink7458 Have you seen the news?
((HUGS))
@mat12 well Uganda wants to kill gay people, and Ted Cruz Is being called a "woke sellout" for saying "killing people for being gay is wrong."
can we appreciate the fact alex filmed this in a LITERAL CLOSET.
but seriously i felt so emotional while watching this. it hit home too much but gave me a message i needed to hear. thank you, alex.
@Ville where 😭
@@Elwias. 99% sure they’re being transphobic
@@crowkitten2661 what did it say
@@sporkzzz they said "it"
@@crowkitten2661 ohh
As a non-trans person, I have always been accepting of the trans community but I still I found this video really informative and helpful. I think it's important to educate yourself and understand what people who are different from yourself have to say about their personal experiences.
Someone can educate themselves however much they want,
But that doesn’t mean by default they’re instantly going to feel comfortable with transgender people.
One should educate to make the right points
this is the first time ive heard the term non-trans in a while. the term for not being trans is cis btw
Congrats on your coming out, king. As a fellow trans man, I respect your decision to be open about this. ❤️
Whew. I admit, i refused to click on this video at first. As a parent of a trans kid - also for the past decade - I was afraid this was going in a different direction. What a lovely surprise. You related so much of our journey as a family - including realising how much we had to ‘code’ doctor visits because our kid had to “pass” in order to get treatment. It’s an open secret amongst trans folk, and parents are only just starting to understand this truth, too. I also really appreciate the discussion with Judith Butler (always a pleasure!). Thanks for putting this out there. ❤
yeah, I really thought this was gonna be a much more concerning video, but I came across more of his videos and then saw this on his channel
I was reluctant to watch this video too. I thought it was going to be a right wing detransition propaganda video.
as a transman with a un-supportive mother, I really needed this man. thank you for this
@Ville go be insufferable somewhere else freak
So sorry about your mother. I hope she will come to accept you. Your community is out there and we love you just as you are!
i hope you will be able to find a good environment for yourself... Never lose hope !
Essentially, being trans is wrong because it goes against the very nature we were given by our Creator. You are born male or female at birth and society, along with drugs in our water, food, products, and air as well with our society cultures, has emasculated the minds of many of our men. God doesn't make mistakes. I am not trying to condemn you. I am saying this because I care about you and want your soul to be in the highest vibration for your entire life - so that you can go to heaven.
That makes me so sad, there's nothing my kid could do to make me love or accept him less.
I'm your mom now! I love you and I'm proud of you, the world is better with you in it.
i am a trans Woman
yet i can feel the same pain. everything you tell and say. having to hide your sex at Birth traits. not because you "want" to but because you "have" to.
despite being the polar opposite, i feel connected to your Situation
happy to have you here~ you did well~
It's so contradicting how the same people that deny 16-year-olds gender affirming care because they're "too young" rush to force intersex newborns to have really invasive, complex and unnecessary gender-affirming surgeries without their consent.
FR it blows my mind
Both are wrong and it's not a matter of hate to deny children to castrate themselves
It’s not contradictory because they don’t care about the well-being of children, they care about violently enforcing a socially acceptable model of sex and gender on literally everything they can. It makes logical sense to them but it’s evil.
Newborn born with intersex conditions are no longer subjected to having surgeries which was once the standard practice this has changed. Children are not allowed to drink or smoke should not be allowed to make decisions in their life they can't reverse. There have been plenty of successful adults who transition as adults. Leave the kids alone 80% tp 90% of children grow out of this phase.
I think you are making a disconnected conclusion. who are those people? are you sure you are not making generalizations ?
As a trans guy, this warms my heart seeing so many trans people in the comments! It makes remember that I'm not alone and there's people in the world just like me, sharing the same struggles. I'm really happy and proud of you for coming out about this, and just making this video in general. Happy pride month everyone
@Ville Well, I do.
HAPPY PRIDE MONTH FRIEND
the tumbler person outing you was CRAZY…. Unbelievable how out of touch people really are
@ville__ where do you even put the world girl in that sentence
So what? It’s quite obvious either way.
And if it wasn’t it’s only very little of this person’s audience that would’ve read that tumblr post.
This content creator outed themselves. No one else
It’s wild seeing someone do a genuinely nice thing and just *have* to post about it.
RIGHT LIKE WHY DID THEY DO THAT
@@ntbored7727who even are you 💀💀
My first experience with the concept of trans identity was in California in the 2000s. My elementary school classmate socially transitioned. She changed her name, grew her hair out, and wore dresses. As a child I just accepted that, it didn't feel like that big of a deal. She said she was a girl so I believed her. I started questioning my gender identity in middle school and began using neutral pronouns in college. Sometimes you just know and other times it's a longer process to figure it out but either way it's valid. The great thing about childhood gender affirming care is that it can prevent the trauma of going through the wrong puberty which has long lasting negative effects.
I am a heterosexual male who was raised in the LGBTQ+ culture as a small child. This was the 90's in Montana. I can honestly tell you that I've had so many really good friends, (clearly born in the wrong body) who had struggled a great deal. This was before testosterone and estrogen treatments were a normal thing. But I'll tell you what, we stuck together, even during the bigotry. Now, you have to understand how your average Montana folk used to be. To put in in perspective, since I was against the "good ole boy's" and the "It was Adam and Eve, not Adam and Adam" bigots, I was automatically labeled alongside a plethora of homosexual slangs. Which was funny considering I was dating or dated some of these same guy's sisters and such. Point is, I didn't put up with it and I encouraged my friends to do the same thing. Well, today, hahaha, well today, most of those bigots from my past, most are either in jail or in halfway homes to this very day. Karma is a bitch. Also, Alexander, dude, I never would've guessed in a million years that you were born with female parts. You don't identify as a man, sir, you are a man. Just sayin. Sorry if this pisses some people off. I'm old and don't know any better LOL.
Sometimes it's simply the thought that counts 😂
Yeah i assume its cuz bigots tend to be more violent in general and thats why they got arrested. I'm gald to know you face soff agaisn them in the 90s your a great person and I hope you know that. Also we all understand if you or me for that matter as a sraight cis dude its our intentions that count is what ive heard. And bro you aint that old you my mums age and look great mate 👍🏽
isn't the homophobic phrase "adam and steve"? anyway, nice comment
I've always noticed that more accepting people make much better friends. Thanks for sharing your experience
Karma isn't real, most my former bullies are thriving now :(
Boyhood for me wasn't too unpleasant. But for some reason when I was around 18 I became superdepressed over the fact I had no girlhood and I feel I will never get over it even years later.
Sometimes you just have to mourn. I hope it gets better. 💙
I've give you my girlhood if I could
This. I can totally be a kid, but after I started high school I became more and more depressed. Now I know why :3c
This is still hurting me until now…
take mine pleaaase
I think it's dumb how people label things boy things or girl things. People should be able to do what they want. Though I will never fully understand being trans, since I'm not, I still support, because people are people and should be treated as such.
This lines will probably get more and more blurry with each year. In a few decades there wouldn't be such thing as "female/male clothes", " Female/male hobbies", or certain type of behavior, associated with one gender. After all, there is no large inherent difference in a way female or male way of thinking. Only difference is parents and and society treating boys and girls differently
Think it's dumb they make up their mind if they are a boy or a girl based of these things and what they like. As if that is not se*ist
To me female and male is just differing physically and reproductively. I use to think that environments also shape who you are, like for eg the roles that come with being male or female but to me thats kinda debunked as soon as you see the existence of trans people and people that don’t fit those roles. I think the gender norms in general is whats making gender dysmorphia a phenomenon, because people treat a body as if its something more then a reproductive system and physical difference. Im also supportive but I don’t a 100% agree with letting teenagers decide even after this video. I don’t think the process of transitioning should be simplified but it should be easier to access money wise. And obviously conversion therapy banned. I don’t like how people want to erase trans people. To me if you wanted to erase the suffering of trans people and the operations in general you should work on the mentality of society changing. That we see a person for who they are and don’t judge them by their label, identity or body. I don’t know this for a fact but Im sure there should plenty trans kids that were just accepted for who they were even in the body that they were in and never transitioned just cus they probably felt comfortable with time. Idk tho cus Im not them. I just am a bit scared by the over simplification of the process taking place cus maybe kids who were confused like I was at a point will transition earlier and come to regret it. But only time can actually tell so.
@@username_creates6991 I agree with a lot of what you said. New study came out twelve days ago. The regret rate from the old study from years ago was 1%. This new study is at a huge 30%. It's going to keep crawling up and it's sad for the ones who can't go back.
My mother said I‘m not a boy because I like horses and don’t play football. :/
I just had a similar debate with myself on a walk the other day. What is a woman? Why do I feel like a woman? How do I know that I am a woman? If living in society made me a woman, am I really a woman? I'm glad to know that there are people talking about this out in the world. Thank you so much for this insightful, vulnerable, and informative video essay. It was beautifully done.
What is a woman & what is a man are things I've been wondering about for a decade. I still have no answer. All I know is that I'm nonbinary, and that's what feels right to me.
Does society make you a woman by giving you the function of a woman like V* ?💀
I work in the medical field. Biology defines a woman as an egg carrying, ovulating, life-incubating/producing specimen. Really not that hard to define. And many, many non-biological attributes begin to come into my head immediately as well. This is a new problem we have, not being able to define the term woman. We have female and male sockets for christ's sake. Society has gotten beyond bored.
@@darkwebgirl what about infertile women? Or women who never bear a child, by choice? Or women who have gone through menopause? What about women who are born without ovaries, or are on the intersex spectrum? Biology isn’t as straightforward as people would like to believe. Sure, the gender binary is the simplified version, but like everything that’s simplified, this just doesn’t perfectly reflect reality.
A woman is an adult female human. A woman is not something someone can choose to be. A male can be a trans woman but not a woman.
Man I'm at 18:00 in and can't even watch this through because I'm getting emotional. I'm stealth and absolutely terrified of being outed especially because I live in Singapore. I already know this is going to change my outlook on being out, thank you for posting this. There are many of us, cis and trans, out there who need to hear it.
wishing you all the best. i hope the world can change for the better for everyone's sake
As a trans girl who's moving across the country to be safer. I really appreciate this video because it's really an amazing premier to show people who may be on the fence about my existence in any which way
Stop pretending to be a girl when you're a biological man.
I'm sorry you have to move to feel safe. I hope for you the best.
@Ville Stop
@Ville It’s advice. Quit wasting your time trolling and go do something productive.
Let's keep moving towards a world where all Queer folks, and especially our Trans siblings can do more than survive and are able to thrive!
For the those of us who went through male puberty, it's too late
@@Aurora146 it's never too late to transition. they're plenty of cases of older trans folks coming out and having just as successful and as happy transition as folks who started hrt young. it's never too late to be your most authentic and happy self
@@babykillingcadillac6719 speak for yourself. I'm in transition for years I had surgeries etc and I will never be the true version of myself bc testo poisoned me and I don't want this life.
@@Aurora146oh well. Puberty blockers should be banned. We see so many ppl detransitioning and making permanent choices when you're 10..11..12 is ridiculous. One of the detransitioners spoke about how being straight isn't cool when you're young and in school. Too many people are claiming to be SOMETHING.. anything! So their peers will like them. Not just that but look how ppl are treated when they don't conform to the lefts ideology
@AngelBabii_x0x I think you're thinking of T and E, Puberty blockers just pause puberty and once you stop taking them, it just means you'll be a late bloomer
thanks for debunking a lot of the beliefs i had.
i was never transphobic but i did have doubts abt gender-affirming surgery for minors. i didn't bother digging into it cos regardless if i was given the power to vote on it, i'd still side on legalising the right for ppl to do what they want with their bodies. this video not only addressed basically every thought i had about the issue but also schooled me on why it's often not just beneficial but necessary. good stuff.
If you felt the need to add in you were never transphobic there’s prob a chance u weren’t so lgbtq friendly to say the least
@@Dolphinboiseriously gonna flame them for being honest and vulnerable? We’re all learning here
@@JootBird my point wasn’t to flame them. I just think the adding in the I wasn’t ever transphobic part was telling on their end. And they aren’t being vulnerable. The people being vulnerable are the trans people sharing their stories in the comments
@@Dolphinboinah you're totally right. i prob meant to say "outwardly" transphobic, but evidently i still had inward beliefs that were/are bigoted
Minors should not be medically transitioned, only socially. Medical treatment is irreversible and damaging to the person even if they don't detransition.
Thank you for this video. As a non-binary transmasculine person, I’m completely with you on understanding women’s issues despite being a guy. For 18 years I went under the guise of a girl who was just a bit different from other girls. Of course I get what it’s like to grow up female. I’m very thankful for the knowledge I gained during that time. I’m glad that I can understand women’s issues so deeply and be a good advocate.
Yeah, my girlhood was nice ‘cause my parents would buy me «boy’s toys» and toothbrush with Spider-Man to make me happy. They didn’t ask questions.
Later in my early teenage years I still would wear dresses. Unfortunately, when gender was brought up in conversation, I just couldn’t associate myself with womanhood. I felt sad and confused.
Then I understood that I always saw myself as someone in between.
Often I was accused of internal misogyny but I didn’t see anything wrong in womanhood and feminity, I just never felt like it.
I like cool and strong feminine figures but I’m not one.
The one thing I was in fact really struggling with besides my body is toxic masculinity.
Now I’m better. I identify as gender nonconforming person.
Now I’m more comfortable with my body, I try different styles and I’m killing it ‘cause naturally I’m quite androgynous.
P.S. English isn’t my first language. Sorry. I’m really happy when people aren’t afraid to share their stories in videos and in the comments.
@@snake_whirlpool This is kind of crazy, but the way you worded "couldn't associate myself with womanhood" was exactly it for me. You accidentally helped me put my feelings into words 😅❤
Men have issues too such as not having access to domestic abuse shelters because everyone assumes you can defend yourself - only problem is you get arrested for doing so because it is assumed you are the abuser. Because there aren't any shelters for men it is basically a choice between death or prison - women do kill their abuse victims in similar rates that men kill theirs - or end up in prison by retaliating against your abuser either on purpose or accidentally. Either way, again, you are the abuser.
This is why trans women nor trans men don't have an escape from abuse as well - a combination of bigotry as well as gender norms regarding abuse - something feminists are not fighting - they actually perpetuate the violent stereotypes of cis men instead of fighting them going so far as to say that abuse and rape are tools of the patriarchy.
What is non binary trans masculine?
@@snake_whirlpool this sounds a lot like my experience growing up and I thankfully also had parents who just let us kids all do our thing and never really pushed gender stereotypes on us. My older brother always liked pink and not once was this commented on negatively and he just got the pink thing he liked. I always liked green so I got green and that was met with just as much enthusiasm. I'm genderqueer or nonbinary and I'm grateful that at least at home I was able to just be myself in this way. I don't hate women or womanhood I just always knew I'm not one myself and always felt uncomfortable being put in that category. I'm not a man either. I'm just me and never wanted to be anything else and yet my existence is a political issue somehow even though I've never done anything wrong.
I literally also did that "I'm LGBTQ because I'm bisexual and definitely for not any other reason" thing too lol. (I'm a trans girl)
It's super weird how even after we are given a tribe to belong to, we'll limit how much we're "allowed" to be queer. I finally figured out I was queer at 35, eventually settling on pansexual. It took me another two years to realize I was non-binary, after having to fight through the same sort of mental walls as I did the first time. Anyways, hope you're having a good day queen
Shhhhhhh! Don't tell my parents that i'm here. But, I found another of my kind. YAY! (I'm a [closeted] trans girl)
Edit: LOL!! i'm cisn't 🤣
@@whitesausagedog5392 I told my parents I'm trans and they were like, "We're not gonna accept you." so I left. They've started putting in more effort since then.
@@kptech4028 Virtual hugs
@@kptech4028 I hope you have somewhere safe to be and that your parents give you the kind of support you want, whatever that is
the fact you were able to pass as male in high school even pre-HRT is fucking astonishing to me, as an MtF I never even thought that would be possible for like, anyone
T puberty really has some significant effects that can be super annoying for us and obviously women are looked at with a little more scrutiny overall so it’s pretty tough to pass nowadays 😅
Wasn’t possible for me as a trans guy. It’s not possible for a lot of us
*Probably most of us
:/ non binary trans girl sad moment, will I ever pass?
Your birth and death certificates will tell you who you are people. Wake up! You were born that way and will die that way.
I’m an ignorant Gen Xer, but I’m trying not to be. Thank you so much for making this video. ❤
I'm a GenX trans woman, and I'm starting a channel where I'll talk about what it was like growing up as a trans kid before anyone knew trans kids were a thing. I'll explain why you probably believe you didn't know any trans kids when you were in school.
Trans kid here and I just came in to say we appreciate people like you so much!
You understand that you don’t know everything and you’re trying to learn, so remember that that makes you less ignorant than an appalling number of people on the internet.
Wooo we love character development
I hope I can help my Gen X mom by making her more aware
you really hit the nail on the head with this. i've always been uncomfortable with the "i am a man in a girl's body" narrative because when i was little, i identified as a girl, and that wasn't wrong. as a tween, i identified as genderqueer, and that wasn't wrong. and now i identify as transmasc nonbinary, and that's not wrong. every performer on the stage hones their craft, yeah? so it makes sense that my performance of gender would grow with me.
This this this!
omg, yes. i performed my girlhood so well, but now i grew up and i feel better performing masc, i feel stronger, cooler, more confident. my teens were marked by me trying to continue to fit the girl role, but more and more i would not feel good about it. i would feel disgusted when someone found the fem me attractive, why? i didn't know. i felt so much better when presenting male, and i feel really happy when i get address as male, and my family is all wondering what happened to their daughter that performed her gender so well...
Gender as a performance sounds insane
I think my egg has been cracked... I think I may be non binary. Edit: I say that label so people get it but to be honest I don't really want a label I'm like sort of a girl but not really and also a cat but most importantly I'm me.
@@celestielsigh gender as a performance is a pretty big theme in humanities.
“In a future that’s less liveable.” That hit me hard. As a nb stuck in Florida, I feel your pain.
oof as an NB stuck in WV I thought I had it bad. But your situation is way worse! Stay safe! Get out as soon as possible!
as a transmasc in michigan if you ever plan on leaving honestly the midwest is the best place to be right now, so if u get the opportunity imo the best way to go is up. stay safe and remember we love you!!!
i'm agender and stuck in florida as well, things here are so fucking weird and i can't even leave
@@lord_ozymandias I'm working on getting my degree and making some money, before I move to a blue state. Thanks for the support.
@@sl33pl3ss9 Yeah, its kind of scary. And it disturbs me what Florida is doing to trans children with supportive parents.
This is the exact type of calm, rational voice we need to elevate over the hysterical fear mongering of right wing bigots. You cite your sources and articulate these heavy issues so well.
Let's be careful with this -- being calm and rational when your human rights are under attack is not always the most helpful response. Not saying Alexander is doing anything wrong, but his style of presentation in this video is not the *only* appropriate or acceptable way to respond to oppression.
@@JordanSullivanadventures thank you.
To Dahlia Dillinger: I'm not "fear mongering" in my opposition to transgenderism. Also there is no "bigotry" involved. That's simply nonsensical and would be counterproductive if true. Furthermore, transgendered people are no different than anyone else within the Biblical context of all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. Now, having said all of that, transgenderism is clearly contrary to God's revealed word. It is a delusion
sparked by the author of lies, Satan himself. Propagandizing transgenderism with young children can only confuse their minds and is outright abuse. I would take it even a step further and suggest some "progressive" adults have a bizarre obsession with this suggesting sexual grooming and pedophilia. I will continue to publicly condemn transgenderism and stand resolutely on God's word.
@@trevorchester4439 no offence but you might be a closeted... _something._ There's no way you engage this much with content you don't need.
@@trevorchester4439 with all of those bill you have the audacity to say this?!
Your video meant a lot to me. Im a woman and in my 30s, always knew i would be happier as a boy/man ever since i was in early kindergarten but i never had the bravery to actually go through with it. Brought it up with psychologists here and there and went through a few very bad suicidal years but yea i never had the balls (hehe). I might never be brave enough to live like this but i have such a ridiculous amount of respect for everyone who is. That's true strength and i hope your video will be an inspiration to many transgender people.
you should get yourself a couple nice outfits that make you feel really handsome. something for you that makes you feel manly.
you don’t have to do any sort of transition. just small things for yourself. you got to find little ways of letting it out because pushing it down completely can really cause harm
You should totally go for it! You’ve got nothing to lose, and you’ll be so much happier. When you feel ready I mean, obviously it’s very intimidating, but doing small things to start with could be good, like getting a hair cut or some new clothes. Whatever happens, whatever you learn about yourself, I’m rooting for you! I hope you become the best, truest, happiest version of yourself :)
Hey, Junes23, just putting this out there; I'm a 65 yo trans man who began my transition in my late 30s, and have been living as the man I am for the last 2 decades. I'm not saying it was easy or simple. I took it a bit at a time, searching for the level of social/bodily change I needed to be happy and comfortable in my own skin. It will be different for everyone. Don't let the number of years you've already lived hold you back from exploring your possible futures.
I hope wherever you land up, you end up happy.
I was a trans kid too (and still am, I guess). I don't live anywhere near the US but the horrifying anti-trans laws being pushed there are still making headlines over here, and it really hurts to watch. Every day I struggle with just trying to live as myself as much as I can. People like you and messages like yours give me and countless others the strength to believe in ourselves and keep going, despite the challenges.
Thanks for making this video. You're awesome :)
Yeah, same. I live in South Africa. And while the Apartheid regime was absolutely terrible, since it got dismantled in 1994 we got a complete overhaul of our Bill of Rights which specifically states that it's illegal to discriminate against someone due to their sexuality or gender. Along with a bunch of other nice stuff, we were the 5th country ever to legalize gay marriage. So no matter how transphobic any future or past president, they can't really do anything to actively harm queer people. Sadly, many small, isolated towns are extremely behind and so you get pockets of uber religious, queerphobic people where it's very unsafe for anyone "different". But yeah, it's really nice to see queer kids out and about. They're just... fine with mentioning it in public, or wear pins with pride flags. It makes me feel so happy to see that these kids feel safe enough to be themselves.
"Girlhood wasn't too bad, but being a woman just wasn't in the books for me." Exactly where I am right now.
even if it's not her thing, she's still a woman, and will always be a woman
@@firasjemil213 even if it's not your thing, you need to mind your business, and stop kissing politicians and the churches' asses 😘
@@firasjemil213 They're always going to be a female (a biological term) but "woman" is more of a social category. She/her are just pronouns, and if someone wants to swap pronouns why not? Do they really only refer to someone's sex? If so, we should get rid of sexed pronouns because it's a bit invasive. What next, pronouns for whether you're circumcised or not? Pronouns for what size of dick you have?
Not too hard to let people use whatever pronouns they want. If a biological female wants to call themselves some other label, why not? It's just words.
@@ahuman5772 women are, by definition, female. and men are, by definition, male. you can't be a male woman, or a female man. that doesn't make sense. she needs proper psychotherapy in order to accept herslef the way she is. she didn't need hormones and surgeries. her hormone levels are certainly normal, and her breasts are fine and healthy
yeah, he got it exactly. i don't mind being feminine and expressing femininity but being perceived as a woman? not for me
It's an unspeakable horror to watch your childhood slip away from you as a trans person. I didn't get to grow up as a boy but now I'm expected to know how to be a man
This. Oh my gosh. This. If I could save a comment I would immediately.
@@Kaicoles5678 But why not play with them? What is the problem? Boys and girls can play football. If you wanna play football, then go on. If you don't, then don't. If you don't know how, ask them. You can do whatever you wanna do, no normal person will mind your company.
@@artyombrif9279 that may be the sentiment now but when i was at school 15-20 years ago, if a girl wanted to play football she was branded the school lesbian, whether she turned out to be gay or not... so generally, girls shied away from typically "male" hobbies for that reason. Now if you'll excuse me, i need to go have an existential crisis at realising its been a good 15 years since i was at school....
@@phoxoto damn, I get it now. It indeed sucks how it is/was in some places.
Maybe because as a Child you can’t be sure of what you are ?
coming from a 17 y/o closeted trans girl, thank you
So what makes you a girl?
@@martind2520what's the definition of a girl
@@martind2520 Why are you so committed to harassing trans kids?
@@Claude_1303 That's a good question. I was always taught that the definition of a girl was a juvenile female human.
But now I am being told I am wrong about that, so I am asking.
@@TransHippie Asking people questions to try and understand their position is _not_ harassment. _You_ were the one who directed me to this video so I could learn more about binary people's experiences; why are you now attacking me for trying to do that? As someone who is agender I literally do not understand what makes someone a trans girl.
As a young trans guy, thank you so much for this video. You’re only a few years older than me and the fact that you’ve been living a successful cis-passing life gives hope for teens like me who are currently that anxious teenager or young adult hoping that one day they’ll fit in. I’ve had dysphoria since I was 14. I’m now 17. Accepting myself is an everyday struggle but seeing people like me really does help.
Hi, all the love for you. However, I really recommend waiting a couple of years. Just so you're sure. I've seen so many sad detransitioner videos that I'm quite hesitant to encourage transition. Saying this from love, 14 seems so recent. But for each individual there is different things what is right for them. But In case you're a fellow tomboy, I just want to let you know that it is okay to be a masculine woman too.
@Marianne H Miettinen I know you're coming with love but this isn't a super helpful narrative because gender is a very personal thing
Please don’t make assumptions about other peoples’s lives. Thank you for at least being polite about it but still, it’s not appropriate to try and parent other peoples’s children over the Internet, nor to go and make leaps and bounds about what you think is happening in the life of someone whom you’ve never met. I’ve socially transitioned in some aspects - but I’ve never undergone any medical interventions for my dysphoria and I don’t plan to until I’m 18. I could probably access that treatment, but I’ve decided to hold off on it.
Don’t come to random people on the internet who identify as trans and try to school them on their identity because you saw some sad detransitioning videos in your recommended feed that one time. Most people who have to live with this on a day-to-day basis have already put more thought and research into it than many of the most popular conservative speakers who want to ban gender affirmative care across the board.
@@MarianneHMiettinen yikes.. don't try to insert your feelings into other people's own experience of their gender
I'm cis and somewhat consider myself a conservative. I have never been anti LGBTQ, and many of the hard-core conservatives I know and work with are not anti LGBTQ either. That being said, this video completely changed my view on transgender people and gender itself. I know people who are transgender, and many of them I have known since we were both kids. When I learned that they had transitioned, it hits me like a ton of bricks, as those I grew up knowing are now new completely different people. I don't hate them when they transition, I would never hate someone who made the hardest decision of their and probably anybody else's life. But I would become flooded with confusion, shock, and complete disbelief. As a cis person, I have an extremely difficult time understanding gender and gender dysphoria because of the gender rules placed onto society have been engraved into my brain since birth. But this video has given me a much better understanding of transgender people, and I want to thank you. I never hear trans people tell their side of the story, it is always some cis person on Twitter or some idiot congressman, but hearing this issue from you completely changes things.
Thanks for being open to the possibility that your experience of life isn't the only one. (I'm not being sarcastic, srsly thank you)
I have a lot of conservative friends and family, and I'm very lucky that the vast majority of them accept me as a trans woman, even when I struggle to look the part. We're so inundated by the most extreme parts of politics and social issues today that we often forget how diverse the general populace is. Thank you for having an open heart and empathy. It matters so much to us.
" I have an extremely difficult time understanding gender and gender dysphoria because of the gender rules placed onto society have been engraved into my brain since birth."
Trans people have had those same rule engraved since birth. The difference is that those rules didn't feel completely wrong for you.
thank you for listening
Thank you so much for being so open about learning, it does mean so much to me and to many others as well. You don’t need to understand, so don’t feel pressured to but you just need to be open minded like you are. Sending love! ♥️
"I am a man trapped in a women's body" it never resonated with me it was more like "I'm a man but I have a women's body" I came out when I was 11 I'm a month away from my 18th birthday now and I've never had gender affirming care, when I talk about my trans experience, trans people can't fully grasp what I mean, I forget I'm trans sometimes, and going back in the closet means, to me, becoming more manly, my brain can't comprehend that people don't think I'm a guy, I am a guy, just with an unfortunate medical anomaly, I wasn't born a girl, my body is just disfigured. I forget that other people have my type of body and identify with it because I myself don't think my body is like anyone else's in the entire world.
This!!!
This might help me "grasp" it. I love philosophy and have a fair question that is not an attack or me being a bigot but trying to understand from a philosophical place.
How can you know what it feels like to be something you have never been?
@@emd1494 you can apply this question to the opposite of what you are asking. In my experience as a trans man, I never knew what it was like to be a woman. Instinctually I see myself as a man, and I think an awful like like one, to the point where all the bullshit stereotypes and put-ons that I forced myself to live with before just melted right out of my brain as soon as I stopped trying to force myself to be a woman. I believe the way to truly understand this if you are cis, is to look at the gender of trans people who share that gender and try to imagine struggling with that. If you are a cis woman, think about how you would feel if your body looked more masculine and/or you showed characteristics of a man, and how that would hurt. Imagine what it would be like if you had a man's name, and everyone around you treated this as something that wasn't odd at all, because you look like a man, and sound like one, etc. Imagine waking up with a deeper voice and every time you speak, it just sounds *wrong* to you because it's too deep. I can only try to come up with so much cause I have no idea what it's like to actually want to be a woman other than denying myself authenticity, so I apologize if that wasn't a good enough scenario. If you are a cis man, imagine if your voice never dropped during puberty, imagine if you suddenly grew tits and everyone used that as a way to "identify" you as a "woman". Again, treating this as completely normal and without any malice, they just thought it was completely natural. Imagine your dick just vanished without a trace. It's quite an uncomfortable thought! Many binary trans people deal with this every single day. This is why the commentor we replied to says "my body is just disfigured" because our bodies aren't inherently wrong, they just don't completely match up with how we see ourselves. Your body is your body, and your brain is your brain. I don't know why it happens, nor do I really care, I just know that I will never understand what it is like to want to be a woman
Hopefully that answered your question lol. Basically, you may not ever have been TREATED like the gender you feel that you are, but that doesn't mean you never were it. Your body may have developed differently than you had hoped, but that doesn't mean that in your heart and mind, you aren't the gender that you feel that you are. There are two things that are incongruent with our bodies themselves, and both are malleable! Firstly, we all start growing as fetuses with the same parts, and sexual dimorphism occurs later in development - this is why in pregnancy, you must wait weeks before being able to find out the sex of the baby! Both female and male babies are born with nipples. Both female and male babies are born with erectile tissue, one just physically grows bigger on its own. Puberty gives us secondary sex characteristics- and that is simply the only thing that outwardly shows people how to gender children with clothes on- because otherwise you would have no clue, and I believe this to be why many trans people don't give a shit about gender until puberty, because suddenly people (yourself included) are EXTRA aware of what's in your pants and under your shirt. To my point, asking "how can you know you are something if you've never been it?" (paraphrased cause I'm onobile and can't actually read your comment as I type this), is essentially asking "society didn't see you as the gender you feel you are, so how do you know?" And to that I say, it is a bodily need for many trans people. If we were on a deserted island, we would still feel the same. No matter how society treated us, out identity will stay the same. Yes, it can absolutely confuse us due to arbitrary rules like say, if you're a trans man and don't have an issue with getting pregnant, and maybe even WANT biological kids- but you would still feel like you are the father of that child. It all depends on which body parts you're disgusted by or indifferent towards, or actually do like. Sorry if this got a little complicated. It's a complicated thing. Feel free to continue asking questions
@@satunbreeze I appreciate your honesty. I am trying to understand but like you said it's hard to explain. I guess from my point of view you cant know what it's like to be something you are not and your voice or cup size doesn't make your gender. Now if you are passable it might make your pronoun but and I understand that can make it easier to live with.
My worry is that I can reverse around what you just said with these poor detransitioners who's voice is now stuck on deep from the hormones, who look down and they don't recognise what is between their legs, to have constant medical issues (I get is a risk up to them if they are an adult) but in a way these people are now stuck in the wrong body but they have the comparison of what it was like before.
In a way what you are saying is religious in a small sense, to believe you were born in in wrong body or even the other way around would suggest you belive in a soul, in not just reproduction and your here type thing. There is more to it then that I believe also and is why I try to understand it on so many levels
Psychology, religion, social, scientifically, medical, romance, se× life etc.
I think a lot more treatment into this before any body modification would be key. I still won't understand how you can know what it is to be something you are not other then based of masculinity or femininity and they are not a gender. Nor is liking female things if you are male. I don't think any of that changes it so I'm trying to understand how they even come to the conclusion I suppose. I thank you for being open and not calling me names or shooting me down for asking.
I don't understand why this is such a hard thing for people to wrap their heads around. Everyone had stuff which their parents wanted them to "grow out of" but instead it became a keystone of their personality. Everyone has frustrating childhood memories of adults acting like they knew who you were going to grow up to be better than you did. This is just... a little more major of a misunderstanding than the norm.
I hate it when parents think its ‘just a phase’
Omg ('': as a trans (genderfluid) venezuelan, is so nice to see another trans latino youtuber, I remember your first videos and they were and still are very comforting to me! Proud of you, wishing you well!
Invisibility can feel protective, but also so isolating.
I hope coming out online gives you more community 🏳️⚧️
It has been confirmed: all of my favourite youtubers are trans
Omg same
Trans, ADHD, or both
same and i live in a conservative country. i hope nothing bad happens to me! boy do i enjoy being cis :)/j
The sissy hypno is going well, the plan is almost finished, soon the whole world will be transgendered
@@veesaos8316 same :)
/🏳️⚧️
I'm one of those people who got fuc*ed by the wrong puberty and don't have money to fix what needs to be fixed.. I wish that to no one.
The best time to start medical transition is the beginning of puberty, but the second best time is right now.
@@TransHippie do you think it’s fine for men to wear dresses and makeup
@@Dolphinboi anyone can wear whatever
@@Dolphinboiyes I absolutely do, but either way trans women aren't men so that doesn't fucking matter
@@TransHippieI'm transmasc(at least I'm pretty sure) and I am going through puberty right now and I hate it but I don't want to tell my mom either as I'm afraid she'll react badly but I don't think you can get puberty blockers without your parents knowing.
As an autistic mexican trans masc person who transitioned at 15 and did the stealth school switch, thank you. I have watched and appreciated your videos for years, and knowing you were also in this boat means more to me than I can express in words.
@ville__Bro this isn’t gonna accomplish anything
The stealth school switch was something i wanted to do when i transferred but i chickened out lol
yippeeeTHIS IS LEGIT MY PLAN RN AND IM MEXICAN TOO
I am a trans guy still under my parents roof. I've been out for 4 years, and my dad isn't that supportive of it. Since he kinda runs the house, I cant medically transition or take hormones until I leave the house, get a job to pay for it, or just get over this "delusion". Watching this video made me feel a bit better about my situation. For anybody else with the same problem, know that it wont be like this forever, that's what I told myself 4 years ago. Very great video Alex! And happy pride month!
@Ville one day you will have to face whatever decided you should be allowed to walk the Earth and justify what you've made of yourself.
@Ville Why do you choose to hate?
@Ville I'm asking why you feel the need to use time as an individual to try to correct someone on something they are comfortable with.
off topic but i love your rui pfp lol
don't let the random dudes in the replies get you down. you'll make it through this, brother.
As a trans kid this means a lot to me. Thanks for making our struggles known. I’ve been living like this for 6 years and it hurts. It hurts feeling the weight of my chest and my higher voice. And I can’t do anything about it. Thanks for making our struggles known.
You will regret what you what you will do
Ignore the transphobe.
@@staraptorflock3661 according to?
@@staraptorflock3661 Change your name. You're an insult to Pokemon. Pokemon isn't gender binary, you know that, right? It has male, female, and gender unknown (Nonbinary) Pokemon. Ditto is a genderfluid icon.
@@staraptorflock3661 so what? ide rather be single and infertile than dead at 19
I'm cis, and my response to any and all gender nonconformity is simple "whether or not I will always understand is completely irrelevant because I trust that you know qnd understand your innerworkings better than I ever will"
hi, i’m a trans kid, and this is very reassuring to know that there are supportive cis people like you out there
well you're amazing /gen
Straight man here. part of the ship, part of the crew. We will fight for your right to be happy I promise
This is very brave of you, thanks for sharing your story, support my fellow trans brethren 💖🏳️⚧️ happy pride!
i love the way you explain things, great video!
hello funny minecraft man :D
iTMG REAL!
🫡
Love your content :DDDD
! seal
I’m only five minutes in, this could get worse. But man, all those appointments? A new school? You sure had parents who believed in you. I’m so, so happy for you for that reason.
Don't know why the algorithm decided I should see this, but I'm not sad about it, as it was an interesting perspective to hear for this 45 year old tomboy (who is extremely tired of the bullshit 'why can't they just be tomboys' crap, trans men and tomboys are definitely different things!). I'm mostly leaving this comment for ~engagement~, good luck with everything!
@MsSjofn: I did not sit well me to listen to his opening sentences. I was definitely a tomboy and at the age of nine I wished I could be a boy. This was 68 years ago. As this person went on with his video I became disturbed by his opinion that gender affirming position should be expanded but had that been the case when I was nine, I might have been ‘persuaded’ by gender affirming counselling, parents, physicians, psychologists and surgeons to transition. Thank Christ that was not the case. I’m a very happy woman. As a percentage of the general population, gender dysphoria is very tiny. I’m happy for those that can live their lives as they choose now but I’m wary of ‘social contagion. My niece defined this phenomenon as ‘transtrenderism’ which I believe exists as has become evident with the disorders of anorexia, bulimia and cutting. So err on the side of caution.
@@iamanomas Being trans is not a trend. Why would anybody want to deal with this social stigma for a trend? Children are also not being "persuaded" into being trans. Getting treatment for gender dysphoria is an *extremely* lengthy process. Doctors tell you every little detail about what will happen to your body, you have to sign consent papers agreeing that you will be okay with each individual change. Younger children may be put on puberty blockers, and the effects of those are reversible. When you make a child wait, that can kill them. If you make a child go through a puberty that they do not want, that can kill them. Making a kid wait until they are an adult to transition doesn't stop them from being trans, it just makes them miserable.
@@iamanomas there's literally a study he cites that outlines the difference ... you and I only wished to be boys (likely because we could tell the patriarchy sucks, which it does), but trans boys say they ARE boys. It's a subtle but pretty clear difference, imo, and calling it a "trend" is ... bullshit.
@@MsSjofn Just so, I was going to say the same.
"Kids have a vivid imagination and believe all sorts of things. Believe me, I know; when I was 12 years old I was a Libertarian." best punchline I've ever seen
I dont get it lol
@@macadoodle1237 kids will believe all kinds of wild things like Libertarian ideals that is the joke lmao
This exact thing happened to me it's too relatable
@@Park0urSanta ohhh ok, thanks, I'm not too familiar with what Libertarian's believe lol.
I was once, shockingly, Christian.
😂Not nearly as ridiculous as believing you're "trapped in the wrong body" because of a feeling
I am a transgender woman and in high school I would often tell my friends that "I'm a woman living in a man's body," just to make my gender dysphoria easier for my cisgender friends to understand. You've obviously explained clearly and beautifully that's not the case, and recently I explained my gender dysphoria to my mom as "It's not that I wish I was a woman, It's that I miss being a woman." It's a very strange and uncomfortable feeling that I never had the chance to explain openly to anyone, and I thank you so much for making this video where I feel comfortable enough to convey this feeling freely, and I hope others feel safe enough to share similar feelings like this publicly as well. to anyone who comes across this, I hope you have a wonderful day :)
"It's not that I wish I was a woman, It's that I miss being a woman." that's crazy. that's such a great way to describe it. it's a very specific feeling, thank you for putting it into words.
@ville__ seriously what is wrong with you
Doesn't matter, if a female ghost possessed a male body forever, still had to follow the society rule that existed since ancient times. Unless the male body is turned 99.9999% female
You’re a dude
@@silloweetTrans women are women, end of story
I'm non binary, and knew it from about 4 years old. Despite knowing i wasn't a really a boy either, the thought and enforced act of being a girl had me in a constant state of self loathing and anxiety for nearly two decades. I self harmed a lot from a very young age, had constant meltdowns and even before I escaped the religion I threw myself wholeheartedly into the Goth aesthetic, which for some reason let me wear skirts without feeling like crawling out of my skin. I remember sitting in our culty little kingdom hall and pitching a heated, terrified, whispered 6yo tantrum about 'wishing I was a boy' so I could sit how I wanted. Despite never feeling the need to go through all the processes of physically transitioning, a LOT of this resonated with me. Even today, most dresses put me into a state of near-panic and anxiety the second I put them on. Aesthetically I love them, but I have never felt comfortable *in* them. It was SO damaging to have to cram myself into that 'demure feminine' mold, and at 47 I still have moments of breaking into a cold sweat when something pulls those memories out.
One of the most joyful and relieved and comfortable times of my life was having my hysterectomy. I remember sitting there (at 39YO) trying to explain to an extremely hetero-centric counsellor that I was not upset I'd "never have kids" - I was weak kneed with relief that I'd never have to deal with my cycle again. I'd never again have to explain to random strangers that I never, ever want kids. No, I wasn't confused or devastated, I was *finally free* .
I'll never forgive my family and the Australian healthcare system for refusing me a hysterectomy years earlier. It would have saved me SO much dysphoria, pain, health complications and self hatred. I don't think I'll ever untangle it all in my head, let alone be able to fully describe/explain my relationship with my own gender, but I know absolutely that I'm *not* a girl.
As shit as the world currently is, I'm so freaking happy for generations younger than me have the internet and the understanding that we have now. I can't even imagine what it would have been like to be able to find understanding, support and family online. To know that despite the ever present vitriol, affirmation and acceptance is there in social media, even if it's not there at home.
As a trans woman, I find the relief of not having kids to be in relation to my AGAB. For me, personally, I would like to have a uterus and a cycle and all the messy stuff on its own merits. The option of having kids in a way that aligns with my perception of my sex is something I want. Maybe I wouldn't want the reality of having kids for other reasons, and that's fine.
The idea of having kids by using this thing I don't want however is... terrifying. I'm sure it's terrible for you in a very different manner, but similar in some ways.
Acceptance is definitely getting better, and my parents, despite being quite old (52 and 68 each) are accepting. Not good allies mind you, but they do respect my wish to be seen as their daughter, use she/her pronouns and a different name to what they gave me. How they talk about me when I'm not around I don't know but they do also fund my transition which is enough.
Australia really needs to up its game on trans health however, in highschool just a few years ago so many of the trans kids there just CAN'T access transition before 18. I can't understate how much trouble this causes, especially when 18 is enough for people to have developed gendered traits they're uncomfortable with that are costly to reverse.
Old white straight cis male here. If this was the Preface, I look forward to the main text. Excellent piece. Best of luck to you.
@TheWonderfulWhiteRace okay "the wonderful white race" what the fuck
@TheWonderfulWhiteRace are you a white supremacist?
@TheWonderfulWhiteRace-ou8oh I would say that someone with a username like yours is much more out of place on this channel
@TheWonderfulWhiteRace-ou8oh I’m not going to play along with your little game and pretend that you’re stupid enough to not understand what the actual point of that username is. This is all a motte and bailey dogwhistle situation. Reproducing symbols with clear historical significance and then playing dumb when you’re called on it like “oooh I don’t hate anyone I just want to be PROUD of being born into the lucky group whose lives suck less on average than everyone else”. You might fool people who think you’re stupid but you don’t fool the rest of us. I’m not going to waste any more time arguing here, I know I’m not going to change *your* mind, I mostly just wanted to put on record that someone with that username commented for people to laugh about in the future
I don't know what's more cringy, saying "old white straight cis male" or "the wonderful white race". People should put their smartphones down sometimes...
I’m a trans woman who has lived stealth for over 6 or 7 years and I’ve been on hrt ever longer. The hardest part for me is not being able to tell my friends, neighbors and etc that I was born a boy. My parents moved me to another state to restart our lives as my transition made life awkward for my family as well as myself. My parents are so accepting but I’ve sadly learned to never be able to open up about growing up as a boy. I’m a fully grown trans woman and my entire family went through a “transition “ of their own along side me. It is sad I cannot open up to my neighbors or roommates. It always ruins my relationships.
it's a hard place to be in ❤ much love, hope you find relationships where you can open up more in the future
That's why I only come out to other trans people. To find a community. Not to hear cis peoples opinions.
@@shanereynolds8651 I am very comfortable with cis people. I just am not comfortable talking to people who I see too often in daily activities about my private life. It will make things awkward if they don’t approve so I’ve learned from trial and error. All my friends are cis people. I just prefer to keep certain things to myself.
@@VaporVixen1990 Trust me having other trans friends is extremely liberating. In my experience you don't understand just how alone you felt until you find someone that actually gets it. Cis people simply don't get it.
@@starchilde8698 I do have a lot of trans friends. I used to go to a support group in a local lgbt community center for many years. I love my trans friends and my cis friends. I share a bond with my trans friends. It’s special to me very much ♥️
as a trans nonbinary person who now "passes" as male after medical transition, this video is hitting me hard, because i've felt like i've been hiding for years, too. thanks for being brave enough to share your truth, it gives me hope that i can be brave, too
@@briarfox6129 people don't exist in a binary. To insist as such is insanity.
As a parent of a transboy who just came out to me, I'm grateful for you giving me more insight into how this journey was for you. I was wondering if it would be better for my son to start over in a school that doesn't know he was born a girl. But I feel more confident now in our choice to let him transition at his own pace in the school he already feels comfortable in. He seems to feel good about it and I especially see the relief now he knows we will support him no matter what.
I once saw a better way to describe being trans than the "born in the wrong body", and it stuck with me since. Basically what it said was "You don't 'feel' gender unless something is wrong with it. It's like a bone. You aren't consciously aware of them unless something isn't right. Like a broken bone. And not getting the necessary treatment is as if you were forced to go do sports with a broken leg. It hurts. A lot". I have used this since because, though still not being exactly accurate (I don't think words ever can capture it), it is the one that seems most relatable to cis people.
that's really good
everyone is born in the right body
@@JackieDaytonaBar My dear phobe... Why dost thou insist on making thineself appear the fool?
@@D2Transphobia just stating reality. Females aren’t men. Obviously pregnant man? Laughable? Mangina? Hilarious. Why don’t you ladies just stay in your lane?
@@D2Transphobia poor girl you’re mistaken, I’m male and a man I’m more an expert than some female born girl,
I am a transgender boy, I have had this 'title' for nearly an year now, I've felt this way since puberty started physically changing my body. I live in Florida and its just devastating to see every new law being put out, I'm only 13 and its honestly scary, that's the easiest way to describe it. I was really touched by this video, id be lying if I said I didn't cry, but that's a good thing. I just want to say thank you, thank you for putting this out there, I'm certain it will change at least one mind into a more accepting one.
you’re amazing and we all see you. thank you.
You are loved and you are perfect. Above all, please don't lose hope, as that would be the first step towards defeat. It may seem like everything is falling apart with the constant anti trans legislation and rhetoric being thrown around, but we will never stop fighting. It doesn't matter how long it takes or how difficult the road is, we will win together. Happy pride 🩵🩷🤍🩷🩵
stay strong brother
i'm in a similar situation. hi, i'm alex :)
i came out as trans to my friends in 7th grade (12) , and i've known i was trans since i was 10. now I'm going into the 11th grade (17) and i'm still not out to everyone in my life because i live in south carolina.
please know that it may be scary, but there are **always, always** people to lean on. it doesn't matter who they are. i can't promise it will get better quickly, but it will get better. you are loved, and you deserve to take up space in this crazy world. stay strong. you can and will make it through this.
have a good pride, Matthew. you matter.
stay strong man, remember that you are loved! life is scary right now, but keep fighting 💖
I'm a tomboy woman (I do not pass as a man), I take pride in my body hair and I still struggle with the fact that I am often deemed as lesser of a woman for it and I suffered with internalised mysoginy for a long time. I nearly identified as a trans man at one point but I quickly realised that did not feel right.
I had been on a conservative binge, I was so angry at trans people but I was getting really tired of thinking this way and wanted to get out of it, so thank you.
This video helped me out of that mindset.
Trans people are amazing and strong.
@ville__ are you okay?
@ville__ The term is tomboy, tomgirl is something different; I believe it refers to a feminine male.
Why were you angry at trans people?
@@Crazy_Diamond_75 when people get caught into a circle of hate that they believe is based on factual evidence it can be easy to be consumed with hate based on lies people tell you
@@sirpunchnut777 tomgirl? i thought femboy meant that
i’m a neurodivergent trans boy. i’m also a teen. my parents have never been very open-minded about my neurodivergence, nor my gender identity. videos like these help me-and so many others-to feel seen, and i’m honestly considering sending this to my parents for them to watch