@@firstnamelastname9219 you do realize this is a video about women and she did not in any way mention that men don't have to perform too or that it cannot be constant, this comment shows the point of this video even more
Being a woman…is like the ballet,the aesthetic is so beautiful and the dancing is so perfect but the pain you feel in your feet ,the perfection on your talent is just …pain
Life of someone goals 1) not being dumb 2) find a not dumb man to marry 3) marry and have not dumb kids (First one can be achieved but second one is a whole plan)
ow how I envy women! be patient us men who are wise wish good health over beauty anyway. please don't perform, be the real you and it will inspire more to do too
@@MrPartyplopperThank you for this. It really means the world to me to hear you say that, and I know it does for countless other women and girls, too! 😍😍😭😭🥹🥹🙏🙏
You have all your life ahead of you, you are strong and you will learn so much, never forget that we all are here together! It really gets better, i promise!
Thank you they’re all so fucking annoying they insert themselves into anything even into a place where women are empathising with eachother and supporting eachother
I am so mad about how normalized it is to attack women for expressing their struggles. yeah, we also have problems, but take that somewhere else from here. like how about in a male mental health video, a terf comments "white men crying about their struggles, while us cis women are always unfairly treated. It has happened yes, but let us just quit it, now. and be understanding and supporting towards one another.
I'm in my 60s now, and have lived through decades of change in the status of women. It's been a long journey for many of us. This video really nailed the struggle. Sending love and support to all my sisters around the world.
There's the gender equality paradox. The gender-equality paradox is the finding that various gender differences in personality and occupational choice are larger in gender neutral countries. This shows that many women actually don't want feminism.
I understand where you're coming from and you may be right, but it no longer feels that way. Of course there are still many men that love and look out for our women but it no longer feels like that for the majority of women. What the original commenter was trying to say is that since women no longer feel that men are on their side, they now feel like they only have each other to rely on.
Don't be skinny, don't be fat, don't be muscular to hurt the ego of others, don't be smart, don't be dumb, don't be a showoff, but don't be shy. Eat healthy, but allow yourself a burger, read books, be obsessed with video games and have knowledge about cars, but also be helpless so the man has something to do. Be strong, be weak, be a single mom while being a loving mother and wife. As a woman, you're told to be everything at once or you're nothing.
But why does it affect you what others simply tell you to do? Edit: And dont answer: "Because that is what is taught to us our whole life". I know that. My question is: what is STOPPING you, from stopping that now. You are a huge community, half the world actually, and do not owe anyone. Especially if you are grown up. Is it time to stop only commiserating yourself online? I do have empathy for you all, and your situation, and of course it is terrible that woman are pressed in these roles from a Young age. Now what do you Plan to do to work against it? The only thing you CAN do is ask yourself: Why am I even doing this, why am I obeying others, why do I want to please others? And then come to a realisation that will help you break free. I am not saying "you are weak if you dont start questioning and changing your behavior", I dont want to insult anyone, but someday you will have to Start questioning and changing your behavior, if you dont want to DEPEND on everyone else questioning and changing themselves. It is frustrating to see how many likes the comments get that basically say: "I already questioned myself, and reflected about our society, came to the conclusion what I have to do different, but I am not doing it because it is not easy because of blablabla" I know that that makes you feel understood, but how is that Mentality going to help? That is nothing other then accepting your fate and still whining about it. No strong Person would do that. And lastly I am not saying that men dont go through a similar process. Its just not the topic.
@@Chronischer_Innenbahn-Laeufer Because it's around us, in our societies, in our environments. Which means we experience it since our childhoods, it's part of our development, so we can't just shrug it off. Many of us are taught and pressured to care about opinions of others and to forget about our own. So one thing is that it's with us from the beginning and there's also something else. Pressure of the group, if a group of people disagrees with us, it's normal to have doubts and to lean into their opinion. Especially when it happens from various sources and over time
@@Nashleyism But if you can reflect about it that well, you should be in control of your anxiety, and dont Listen to the pressure. I dont think the she conplained about normal group pressure that is the reason you shower, obey the law and feed your cat, but rather the kind that has unfullfillable expectations to you. It is too easy to Brush those off, especially when you recognized them as what they are like you two
@@Chronischer_Innenbahn-Laeufer Nope. Knowing something can make things easier but does not equal to instant change. Stuff like anxiety, beliefs etc need more work, they are written in our automatic reactions and subconscious thinking. And pressure is not always something we can just not listen to. Depends on who does it comes from, how often and how resilient we do are. Recognition of the problem does not equal to the solution. That's only the beginning of change. And it's hard to change in the environment that is unsafe.
To answer your original question it does affect us what other people tell us to do. We are social creatures and need to be accepted and to belong. And women are often taught how they should act, what they should do and think, there are societal, family and religion expectations put on them, lots of pressure from many sides and everyone acts like we are bad human being if we won't live to this impossible standards. The amount of pressure and sources of that pressure is not something anyone should deal with. And most of us deal with it since the childhood, we are taught we should be this and that the same way we are taught to brush our teeth. So many of us don't even realise, many can feel it but don't have words. And recognising that we can be who we want to be and that other people opinions are just that, is just the begining of the healing journey. There's a lot of work needed to internalise that. And it's much easier to do that work without dealing again with the same bullshit opinions again and again on a daily basis. Also many of us want a better future for the children. So they can grow without all of that pressure and opinions and expectations thrown at them all the time.
The clip of the little girl looking at her body in the leotard hit so close to home for me it hurt. I was obsessed with perfecting my body since I was 5. And I’ve never stopped since
@@fadeath201omg can you not make it about yourself for one second when you die nobody will remember you and your physical body will be torn apart by the maggots and nobody will care because we are all mounds of flesh that think we matter hurling through space on a tiny rock orbiting a star. Please stop being attention seeking.
@@fadeath201stop replying this on every comment with someone sharing their experience. no know thinks men have it perfect. stop making it about men. we’re simply talking about how women experience societal pressures.
They don’t care about men’s issues up until a woman talks about theirs. Male issues are valid, but it’s like why tf do they bring them up only when women talk about their issues? They too can advocate for themselves and make videos bringing awareness, but they just don’t. In actuality they don’t care and just want a gotcha moment
Exactly. I understand that men have struggles as well, and many of them are the same (or similar) to ones that women experience. But the difference is that men constantly have the upper hand in many situations. It’s not based upon what women can and can’t do, it’s based upon what they are told. Sure, you don’t have to believe it, but it’s a subconscious thing. For decades women have constantly been amounted to their looks, or been told that they shouldn’t have this job because “what if they’re on their menstrual cycle and follow their moody impulses,” or it’s that they “wouldn’t be able to understand like a man can”, or that they “aren’t as strong”. It’s not that we aren’t willing to listen to the struggles of men, it’s that many of those same men aren’t willing to listen to ours. Anyways, maybe I’m kind of just going on and on so I’ll end it here, but I’m sure you get the gist of what I mean.
@@gifcities My guess is that women talking about their problems generally leads back to men and the patriarchy which can be easily seen as some sort of attack, so they “retaliate” by pointing out men’s issues too.
Lets talk about your problems after we talked about our problems. Talk about your problems when its about your problems and not when we try to talk about ours.
I had an argument with my dad. He was talking about how women don't have any disadvantages anymore because legally we're not disadvantaged. And I had to disagree, we don't have any legal disadvantages anymore, but that doesn't mean we get treated equally all the time. He asked me to give an example. The thing I immediately thought about in that moment was how I felt like I wasn't taken seriously in the conservatory. He says "It's really easy to blame everything that goes wrong on being a woman". I never said that I failed because I'm a woman. And I couldn't really get out eh words to explain what I was trying to say. So I'd like to do it now. I never thought I failed because I'm a woman. But it did not help. I'm sure that if I wasn't as feminine or came across as serious and stern I wouldn't have faced the same judgements. I had been told straight to my face that I had to take myself seriously, but at the same time I apparently was taking myself too seriously when I'd defend my art or when I got completely blocked and couldn't even write anymore. So what exactly wasn't serious about me? The fact that I wore cute clothing? The fact that I wore makeup that made me look sweet? The fact that I come across as naive because of my bubbly personality and shyness? The fact that I don't tend to fight back? The things that I have learned I'm supposed to be as a woman? Luckily for me I don't dislike these traits. I tend to like being cute and feminine. Not so lucky for me that means that I have try very damn hard to be seen as serious and capable. And not so lucky for me I couldn't handle that and ended up completely breaking down. I didn't even realize how unfair this one specific teacher really was to me. He would give me bullshit criticism that meant absolutely nothing, I couldn't learn anything and he just made me feel like a silly little girl in the process. Too silly to understand all these grand philosophical things he was talking about. Liking hearing himself talk way too much to listen to try to understand what I was doing, what I wanted to do. Some other things. I can't walk alone at night through certain streets in my neighborhood without being spoken to, followed and getting scared out of my mind cuz I cannot defend myself if something were to happen. I feel more safe when going out with a guy in my group because it's so much easier if a guy can tell off guys for you. Which is so unfair. I get scared when I have to reject a guy because I'm afraid that I'll bruise his ego and if I'm really unlucky, he will make sure that I suffer more from that rejection than he did. Being seen as more than just a woman or a woman with a cool skill by men is kind of hard. Which sucks because this world is litterally run by men. So we also have to appeal to men in some capacity if we want to get stuff done. Or be a cool ass bitch that somehow demands so much authority that it doesn't even matter (tho I'm sure they also get their fair share of men being butthurt cause this woman is just walking all over them because... she's capable.) I used to be completely ignored by some guys in my scouting group because they didn't think I was pretty. And I still feel this to this day. To many guys I'm absolutely nothing if they don't deem me attractive. Ignored and pushed aside, worthless. So don't tell me that I shouldn't put much effort in my makeup and clothing because it sure as hell is important. Even to these snobs who look down on women for caring about their looks, don't sit there and tell me you aren't the first to complain about a woman wearing too much makeup or wearing skimpy clothing. Who's the one obsessed with looks and clothes now? (This is a bit of different thing I guess but I still want to mention it: I get hit on by guys and clearly feel how they're looking down on me. Arrogant assholes who mistake my sweetness for being dumb. Yet they still hit on me? And it just makes me feel horribly disgusting. Or you can feel a guy being interested in you... but it's not really you, even when you start talking a lot they really don't care about you at all. They're not getting to know you. I don't know what they're interested in but its not me. Makes me feel very icky and disgusting. ) So no, it's not just because I'm a woman. It just makes it pretty damn hard sometimes. And some women are strong enough to fight through all that and to fight for what they're worth and deserve. I'm not. I sit quietly because I'm not supposed to complain. I don't naturally push back and assume that when people blame me or tell me I'm doing something wrong... They're right. I don't have any of that naturally and I've never been taught to fight back. All I ever got was questioning. "You're not having mental difficulties, you just wanted to be lazy and your teacher dying was the perfect opportunity for that." "Maybe you're just misunderstanding what he's saying to you" This may be all over the place. I'm writing this on my phone so I don't have a good overview of what I just wrote. But it's 2am and I'm having a complete mental breakdown. So yee, this was fun lol.
Heyyyy, just wanted too say thank you for writing all that out. I relate a lot to some of the parts you mentioned. Especially the part about being feminine or having a bubbly personality and being looked down on or weirdly sexualized by guys who are interested in you. You're brave for sharing your experiences💜 I hope opening up helped a bit with your mental breakdown and that you're feeling better now girlie💜💜💜
You are so brave and strong. Thank you for getting this off your chest, I really hope you're feeling better ♥ This world is completely against us as women, and even if you aren't fighting back, it takes a hell of a lot of effort to push through. I hope you have a wonderful day. I don't have much to say, but I admire you for saying this stuff. It resonates with me a lot. Thank you 💗
thank you for sharing! honestly, i want to reread all of that again and again for some reason. maybe, because, we have the same problems and im very glad that someone is speaking up about the things i feel as well. i cant clearly explane my emotions, and seeing our problems is getting picked up is just like a blessing💘
This made me fucking cry, I feel you. Being a woman really is impossible and men can't even understand that or attempt to understand that. All they can say is that they also have their shit and they also feel bad sometimes. But it feels like they just want us to feel miserable so that they can keep controlling us. I don't hate the world, but it gets so damn difficult sometimes to be grateful when this is the constant state we women have to live in.
I hate being a woman because of this pain but I love it at the same time because it’s something all of us women are in together. It breaks my heart that girls bully others but yet we all go through it. Love you, gals.
Only not everyone go through it. Unfortunately some of us die. The girls have to face with social media beauty standards, the filters what makes them feel that they have to go under the knife and other plastic surgeries to risking their health and sometimes their lives… of course back in the time they had very unhealthy beauty processes, products from the too tight corset to poisoning powders, not too mention the lack of rights starting from child marriages and even queens were reduced to a baby factory to producing an heir, but the speed of recent changes in technology makes it so widespread that it’s really worrying. Add to it that misogynistic politicians turn back the time and would cancel what or mothers, grandmothers, and great grandmothers fought for, and the trad wifes happily would throw away! I don’t mind if someone a stay at home mum, or “just” a housewife, as long as it’s serves both parties and based on mutual respect, but not for a misinterpretated nostalgic nonsense and let themselves dominated by their husbands and being submissive. Being soft, doesn’t mean you have to throw away your dignity!
@@turble148 ‼️ SOME ‼️ men are very sensitive and cannot fathom the fact that women are human beings who through stuff too and whenever we talk about what we go through ‼️ SOME ‼️ men get really angry because they cant accept the fact that not everything is about them :) (keyword: ‼️ SOME ‼️ if it dont apply, let it fly
That barbie speech is wonderful. If we could just all as individual humans live with a peaceful and respectful mindset... But we cannot, because we are complex humans and we have ideas and opinions and emotions, ¿or can we? We don't know. And just Imagine all the people living life in peace.... how wonderful that would be, or at least that is what we think.
I wish people would see this all around the world and just create a society of women that all accept each other so the women can just acknowledge each other and realize everyone is going through this. If you know what I mean.
There's the gender equality paradox. The gender-equality paradox is the finding that various gender differences in personality and occupational choice are larger in gender neutral countries. This shows that many women actually don't want feminism.
I had the same thing happen. I think it was during the montage. He saw me crying and kept asking what’s wrong. I didn’t say anything and all i could think was what do you think
I'm not even an adult yet, and i feel all of this, like, pressure to be perfect, to be a people pleaser, to be straight, to be thin, to be healthy, to wear makeup, to not complain, and for what? Why do we women have to be all of that for others? Why not let us be who we are? Why not let us be women, real ones, not fake. Cause that is what we wish, to be real, to be ourselves, without needing to be what other people want us to be. And if all of that is written and felt by a 12 year old, i really think the world needs to be changed. Love, a girl who has had enough.
this is not an experience unique to women. you are being manipulated into thinking that the pressure to be perfect is unique to women, and that men have it perfect, but we dont. its sad to see these ideas present in such a young woman.
@@fadeath201didn’t know men Experienced period pain boob pain birth pain being constantly sexualized (it happens more to women be honest) and I didn’t know they knew how it feels being a women in general thanks for the info. We know we have similarities but it’s not the same the experiences a man has vs a woman is different
@@fadeath201 why do you feel the need to reply to every comment with this response? You do acknowledge that despite the fact that we are all in a strict, cruel and controlling society and yes men do face the horrors too, but we all experience it differently and I hate to have to tell you this but this feeling is unique to women, we have always been objects bought and sold by men, like broodmares, born to only be an incubator and a slave to husbands. I can guarantee that you have never feared that you could lose autonomy over your own body due to your own government recently, because each government seems to have come to the agreement to start taking rights away from women, the fucking people in charge and do you wanna know the main ones making the rules? Men, rich, white privileged men, I can give you a few names of men who have taken away women’s rights in the past 5 years, Greg Abbott, Brian Kemp, Ron DeSantis, John Roberts, Brett Kavanaugh and that’s only five men in the past five years, people who have never had a uterus in their lives, people who will never know the true agony of pregnancy, took away women’s rights to choose their lives over something that could’ve stolen their entire life, either literally or metaphorically. Just think about why you keep commenting this and if you don’t know then I can tell you why, you felt personally attacked by it, you felt victimised, you thought ‘hm this must be women’s ways of saying they hate me and all men’ but it’s not, we only hate the men who have wronged us, used us, abused us, if you think that we are attacking you personally, ask yourself why and consider the fact of who we really hate, do you fall under those categories? If you don’t then congratulations, we don’t hate you, we don’t want you gone from the earth, we don’t want you to feel like it’s all your fault because it isn’t, but if you do fall under those categories, why?
I fucking love women. I don’t understand the men in the world who can be misogynistic. Women are beautiful, angry, hurt, tired. Anger in women is so beautifully scary, and it’s so empowering in a way. You can feel it in your soul.
i have celiac disease and it took years to even just get tested. i saw several doctors a year. i told them it feels like i have a stomach bug all the time. i was severely underweight. i had to drop out of school. over and over they kept telling me it's my period, it's anxiety, it's hormones, it's me being hysterical, im faking this for attention. nope it was celiac disease. and the late diagnosis gave me chronic gastritis and other issues. very similar experience when i had lyme disease and an ovarian cyst. and of course all medical research is male-centered and doctors tend to ignore the fact that women have more complex bodies.
There's the gender equality paradox. The gender-equality paradox is the finding that various gender differences in personality and occupational choice are larger in gender neutral countries. This shows that many women actually don't want feminism.
Being a teenage boy this is both new and eye opening experience , and no by all means this video isn't an attack. So I'll just leave this , to my Mother, my friends and to my GF and to all the Ladies THANKYOU for being you !!
i started crying while watching this. i saw amy winehouse accepting her grammy while the barbie speech and “think of me once in a while, take care” started playing, and now the fake tan i had just put on is streaked down my face. this is 100% what girlhood is. thank you for this video. i feel so incredibly seen.
I'm afraid that my future husband will turned out to become a huge b***h, i want a humble nice guy but everything i see is making me think more about marriage.
i literally saw a dude complain and whine about how “women paint men as disgusting creatures” but as SOON as he saw an empowering and positive comment about women (specifically the speech in barbie) he shut the idea down. honestly baffles me and genuinely makes me wonder what goes on in that mind of his (as well as many, MANY other men).
& men swear we live life in “easy mode.” they have no idea. just the reality that hit me after becoming a mother has blown my mind. & it’s a reality that they will never have to face.
@@talklad2007did she ??? I don’t think so time and time again men have shown us and besides don’t males receive sympathy when looking after children. Oh he’s just a DAD
I was raised and socialized as a woman, so I will never, ever forget the struggle of living as one. I will never not stand up for my friends who are women, or even strangers who are. Girls rule.
1:36 that speech is so real some men forget that women are humans too and that women are also different you can't just categorize women in one thing and say women should do this women shouldn't do that, No, every women should follow her own passion in the thing that she want to do that will also help us and help the world we live in
I’ve always felt sexism in the sense that, when a guy is loud and friendly he’s called “outgoing” but I’m just viewed as “loud” and “ a lot” it feels like when a guy is talkative it’s praised, but not when I do it. Guys look at me like I’m annoying and worthless just because I’m not digestible and timid
As a man, I deeply feel and understand that women are literal warriors and deserve so much more in this wretched world, so many men don't understand women's pain and it pisses me off. I'm here for you guys, I will journey with you and protect you from any harm and discrimination.
This was just unbelievably beautiful and heartbreaking. My soul feels so heavy and yet so light knowing my struggles are felt by every other woman, but also my struggles are felt by every other woman, ya know?? 10/10 great job!
Gosh I’m not even an adult yet but I’ve already struggled with these things. I just don’t understand why we separate each other by gender so much. Everyone is different anyway, but we make such a big divide between men and women. It’s such a small thing to be mad about when you think about it. Yes, men and women do have big differences and different struggles, but lots of those struggles are created by us making such a large difference between us anyway! We can’t lump all people into tiny little boxes of personality just because of the differences in our bodies. Everyone is different but we can accept it and come together. Unfortunately, people just refuse to change their viewpoints, which is frustrating.
that is such a nice viewpoint to have. all these struggles between genders is just us making a big deal out of those differences, and as a biologist, I've learned that different sexes balance each other out. If I have a certain weakness, I have something else that balances out that weakness. So in reality, we are not THAT different. I highly recommend a book called, "Sapiens" by Yuval Noah Harari. He, in his book, explains this issue much much better!
It's frustrating that you don't understand how much hormones affect the brain, and the body/CNS. Once you get more life experience, you will understand. From how men and women socialise; to how girls/boys interact with toys (self-insertion); reaction to stress; work/life balance; and how competition manifests. Unfortunately for you, the truth is that gender transcends personality, and its not about what makes you smile, or sad, or depressed, or even what commanlity you find in everfyday struggles. Just remember that just because a vocal minority accepts a theory, it doesn't mean the majority do, and this something that is being shown across surveys and elections across the western world at this time.
It's men forcing this onto women. Male people who hate female people and created a system to use exploit and break us. It isn't everyone against gender. It's women surviving men.
i’m a trans man, and i have….. i couldn’t describe to you how this makes me feel. there’s a part of me that feels guilty for leaving. it’s not as if i hated being a girl, i loved it so much and there are still things i miss dearly. i just want every woman out there to know that us trans dudes are in your corner. trans women, we have your back. cis women, we have your back. i found so much joy in being a little girl, but my truth lies here. i’m so glad other people can find joy and elation in femininity where i couldn’t, and i hope all of you have insanely happy lives. cry, laugh, eat good food, have good sex, make dear friends. never forget that being a woman is so difficult. being any person that isn’t a white cis straight able bodied man is so difficult. we’re in this together. don’t ever forget.
Uncovering every last facet of truth is how we live, love, and all grow together. You never left, and we have your back still, too. I'm not quite "woman," something like "girl," and for now that's enough for me.
Don't feel guilty for leaving, that 'little girl' you once were, was still a boy in disguise, you owe to yourself and to him, to be yourself, and to set yourself free. You are still the same person, you did not leave anything behind, but you grew and found yourself, and for that you should be proud.
Since my math was pretty bad, my parents sent me to a tutoring class that’s run in this man’s house. He’s like 86, so he’s pretty old fashioned. He constantly calls the girls in my class annoying or dumb, he tells them to shut up, he says that they will never have a successful future, etc. the class has a lot more girls than boys btw. He never talks to his male students like this and always praises them, telling them how good they’re doing and that he knows that they’ll be successful. He talks about the girls in our class getting married a lot (for example he once told a female student that her husband will love her a lot in the future since she’s really dumb, he says stuff like this a lot and we can’t do much bc he hits us with a wooden spatula bc he’s old fashioned and sht and the guys just laugh) but he never does this for the guys. He never says that their wives will hate them or that they have to get married in the future. Im saying this bc once he made another marriage joke to a female student and she said “I’ll never get married!” And he said “you have to, it’s always the women who say stuff like this who get married the fastest.” We have to tie our hair up in class or else we get yelled at or hit. There’s guys who have their hair literally covering their eyes and he doesn’t bat an eye. There’s a male student who literally does nothing the whole class and talks back to him, and he never gets yelled at or hit. He cried for two hours because he didn’t want to go to tutoring or do work, and he didn’t get yelled at or hit either. I get yelled at if I don’t extend the fraction line enough to cover the denominator, yet he can do the worst shit you can do in a classroom and get away with it. My teacher yells at girls who sit “unladylike,” too. Parents of girls get called in regularly when they talk back or if they have a nasty expression on their face (im a frequent culprit of this.) he called my mom in once because I “had a bad attitude” (I couldn’t remember some formulas and got hit really hard) and he told her “I know that raising a teenage girl is very hard.” He went on to say that teenage girls are nightmares to deal with, and that my mom must be so tired of me. He’s always telling us to mind our own business, yet he’s constantly telling us what to wear, how our parents should raise us, how insufferable we are, etc. the most infuriating part is that my mom just accepts it. She doesn’t talk back at all, and just nods and thanks him. I don’t mean to toot my own horn or anything, but (according to my mom) I am the opposite of difficult to raise. The reason why teenage girls are seen as difficult is because I guess hormones make us more emotional. It’s true that im moodier more often than I was when I was younger, but I don’t take it out on other people. The reason why he thought I was difficult was because I didn’t have a pleasant expression in my face while doing algebra for two and a half hours and getting yelled at for about 75 percent of the time. Who the fck enjoys that? He’s always saying that he just wants the best for us, and that we’re ungrateful and will never find a husband. Idk if this is related but I had a male friend (who im not friends with anymore thank god) who I was friends with since elementary school. During the pandemic, I was homeschooled for about a year longer than everyone else, so when I came back to school I was really excited to see everyone. I was expecting for me and my friend to get along fine, but he had new friends, and I didn’t want to butt into his life or make it seem like I had a crush on him by talking to him too much (because apparently being nice to a boy means you take romantic interest in them) so I kept my distance but was still nice to him. We went to the same tutoring program, and our class only had the two of us. During tutoring, I would try to talk to him a lot but he would always respond really dryly or say something mean back. I was a little taken aback by this, since he wasn’t like this before, and when we would make fun of each other it would be stuff like “you’re a poopy head” and we would both laugh but he would straight up call me dumb and ugly with a straight face and it really looked like he meant it. I was hurt whenever he said these things, but I never really said anything because I would get told that he was just joking or that he was a boy and this was his way of flirting. The next year, our school started providing breakfast, and since I had no friends, I would sit with his friends at their table during breakfast. His friends were alright, but whenever I said anything he would say something like “shut up you’re so annoying” or “this is why you have no friends” and his friends would usually just laugh. I honestly wanted to cry, but I didn’t leave since he was my “best friend” and I didn’t want to ruin our friendship. This year, whenever I said anything to him (because I was still attempting to be his friend and be nice) he would say something mean back. One time, the topic of yin and yang popped up in our conversation for some reason and he said “im the male one (the black one) because im logical and smart, and you’re the female one (the white one) because you’re loud and annoying.” I had gotten a little used to the mean stuff he said before, but this one hurt. I just laughed along, like I always did, so I could be a cool girl who could take his jokes or something (idk…). In 7th grade, we all went into a new school, and this school year he was being nicer. That was until his friends were saying stuff like “oh you must like her since you guys talk a lot” and I guess that hurt his ego because he went back to how he was before. I didn’t bother trying to get him to be my friend this time, since I knew it wasn’t worth trying. The worst part about this was that I can’t really complain much because I’ll get told that he likes me or that he’s a young boy and that’s how they are or some other bs. He treats his mother like trash too, but she’s always so nice to him. He always made me feel like shit, calling me stupid, dumb, lazy, or ugly every single day. I would cry so much about why I couldn’t be as good as him. I hated myself so much because I actually believed that he was superior and that I deserved everything (bc he said that I called him a mean name in kindergarten so I felt like I deserved it). I’m thirteen years old, and since I was three, I wished to be prettier. I’m East Asian, so my eyes are small, I have monolids, and my hair is almost black. I wished to have blonde hair and blue eyes. When people said I could be anything when I grew up, I thought it meant that when I grew up, I could be the girl I wished to be. I started caring about my appearance and how boys thought of me since preschool. I worried about how my nose looked when I was 6, and I would pinch it to see how it would look if it was “prettier.” I didn’t know what it meant when I sat on my mom’s male co-worker’s knee and he started bouncing it, snickering to himself. I didn’t know why my mom took me away so quickly and told me that we wouldn’t be seeing him again. I know that craving male validation isn’t how I should live my life, but how is that possible when the world is run by men? I don’t wear the clothes I want to wear and I don’t express my interests because I don’t want to be seen as “unattractive” to men. My female classmates and I are sexualized all the time, and I feel disgusting every time a boy calls me hot. I can’t do anything about it, because it’s a compliment, right? If I said something back, I’m not fun to hang out with. Im afraid every time im outside alone. I know that if an adult man were to take interest in me, I wouldn’t be able to fight back. If I told anyone, he wouldn’t get into much legal trouble, that is, if I would be able to make it out alive. So I don’t wear super revealing clothing because I don’t want to attract those types of men, but I was made to appeal to men. I was made to be a mother, right? It doesn’t matter what I wear or say or do in the end, because I am just a girl. No one will truly take me seriously. There’s nothing I can do about it, because this is how it works. Throughout my life, I will have to kiss up to men and make them feel good about themselves just so I can be a fraction of how successful they are. I will be sexualized, and there is a high chance that I will experience SA multiple times in my life. And there’s nothing I can do about it. Sometimes I wonder why I couldn’t have been born a man.
Fuck the stupid math teacher and that stupid brat (ex)friend of yours, I hope you are doing fine. Manifesting all the positivity and happiness for you.
God, the pressure put on us women actually disgusts me. I'm sorry all of that happened to you, tho sorry doesn't really fix anything. Although I'm just someone on the internet, someone who is just a stranger, I can only pray and hope you go through this and acquire the strength to stand up to yourself, I wish you a good life ahead.
Hey you, thank you for writing all of that. I'm so sorry to hear that this is your experience. There are a couple things I wanted to say: first of all, I hope you aren't with that tutor anymore, he sounds like a horrible person! You don't have to marry and you don't have to kiss up to anyone. The most important thing is how YOU feel about yourself, and no other opinion matters! So if someone is critical of you not getting married, screw them. It's your life, and you can live it the way YOU want. As long as you feel satisfied about yourself and your achievements. Truly nothing else matters. You only have one life, don't live it for others. That also brings me to the second thing: ignore that stupid guy friend or anyone else that brings you down (thank God you're not talking to him anymore!). If someone calls you dumb or ugly; what on earth do they know?! Maybe you're not the best at maths, fine! But you must be good at something else! For example, English. I don't know if it's your native language, but you write so incredibly well. Not only in the sense of grammar and stuff, but also the way you form sentences: you'd be a great writer! And there must be a ton of other things you do very well! I believe in you! Anyone else who says mean stuff like that is not worthy of your attention. I have been a little chubby all my life, and people used to make fun of me. I once got so thin, that my health was in danger just because I wanted to feel pretty. Now I'm just a little chubby again but I'm happier than ever, because I know that I don't need other opinions, and that I can ignore those that say bad stuff. It's all about what you think of yourself. You are smart, you are not lazy, you are awesome. And anyone who says otherwise is not worthy of your time. We have one life, don't spend it laughing off insults or pleasing others. You are here for YOU. So don't surround yourself with people that bring you down. And don't feel less pretty than blondes, all humans are beautiful to someone. But it only matters if you are beautiful for yourself. On that note, I am blonde with blue eyes, but I think the Asian looks are gorgeous and there is nothing as wonderful as the dark hair you have! We always want what we don't have, but don't let it bring down your self-esteem: others want what you have! Third thing: never think that you deserve being treated badly. The only thing you deserve is happiness and well-being. I truly wish it for you. And again, anyone else that doesn't bring you happiness is not worth your time. Last thing: you can talk back to people. If they get angry, then you don't need them in your life. Surround yourself with people who truly care for you. If they don't want you to talk back and stand up for yourself, then they don't care for you. And you're not made to be a mother: you can live your life fully also without being super accomplished or having children. I hope you can surround yourself with people who can love you for who you are and not make you feel bad, because you deserve to be taken seriously and everyone needs to acknowledge your worth. I know I can't physically change much for you via the internet, but I wish you all the best. And if you want a friend who believes in you, just let me know and I could send you my email address to talk if you want. Don't feel pressured though. Not at all! I don't want to be creepy: you absolutely don't need to if you don't want to talk. I won't take it as an insult. I just want you to know that you can if you want or need to talk. I just want to let you know you are always worthy, super wonderful, and strong, and that you should only surround yourself with people who understand that too. You don't need to be a mother or anything you don't want to be. Dress the way you want to. Live your life for you and you alone. Lots of love and all the best from a Dutch girl who will always believe in you!
I was 8 the first time I was cat called. I was 10 the first time a guy touched me inappropriately. I was 13 the first time a guy tried to look up my skirt. I am now 15 and these memories ,even though they are small compared to other women’s experiences, still haunt me. But maybe they are not small, maybe that is just what I’ve learned to be. To be small, to be quiet, to smile and look pretty. To never speak up and tell people what I’ve experienced because they won’t believe me anyways because I’m just a girl. But I don’t want to be small and I don’t want to be quiet and I want to smile for me and I want to feel pretty for me. But I don’t know how. I feel hopeless because I’m just a 15 year old girl and i don’t know how to change this. But I’m so tired of feeling hopeless. So I’m writing this here in a comment section full of strangers and women who are standing together because it feels like the safest place I can speak even if my voice shakes.
Why dont people listen to you? That was the most moving comment i think i’ve ever read, youre a very poetic person. Also i know a lot of girls that can relate to everything you said. Sure, (i’m almost certain) most women have been raped, but all women have been sexualized whether they know it or not. Your experience is something many people including me can relate to, and you commenting this speaks for all of us out here that dont know how to say it.
Never forget, little sister, that you have every right to take space and take up the entirety of your existence. That much is owed to you. Your life is not a commodity that works around the lives of others. It is not up for debate or commentary, though people will try to express their judgements. Your life is yours to be as extraordinary or mediocre as you want. Your safe space starts with you.
It breaks my heart a little bit when other women or young women feel like their experiences are "small compared to other women's experiences". There is no such thing as a small experience. I'm an SA survivor, and if there's anything I've learned it's that there's no point in comparing your experience to someone else's. None are less valid and they're all part of a larger issue - that some men (and too many of them) don't seem to see women as human beings. Many of us stayed silent when we should have spoken out. Have accepted situations where we shouldn't have. If you have any older women in your life that you trust (mother, aunt, etc.) try speaking to them if you feel they will hear you. I can pretty much guarantee that they've had some experiences in their life.
criminally underrated. with videos like these clips are just thrown together without much thought or cohesion. The song flows, the voice overs the clips which flash by, they are all perfect. Not only is it clips from popular movies there is also the animations from disney or other animations. It’s just all so inclusive because they are all women. They just fit. They are perfectly synced. I got chills.
I just wish we had our own planet,maybe in the future,maybe my great great great grandaughters will live in a world where they can be themselves,where they're not scared to go outside or speak up,where they don't have to be quiet and pretty,where they can just live,live peacefully without the thing we call a man today
Why is this so underrated, why so little people see this. Everybody should, women - to feel better and like they are not alone and men - to understand (they probably won't)
@@dwadawawdawd-t3u sorry, but all the men I have ever known really don't understand. I don't mean everybody are like this, didn't mean to hurt anybody's feelings. This probably isn't true about everyone, just my personal experience and point of view. Sorry, it may not be clear enough
@@dwadawawdawd-t3u do you think women will ever truly understand what being a man is like? if one is not something, it is never truly possible to understand the experience of being that thing
Girls… I’m so grateful that you find the strength to talk about these feelings.. feelings I have too in myself as I struggle to understand what does it mean to live a life as a woman… so grateful to all of you. and so proud 🙏🏼
I'm a man, but I have sisters and while I can never truly understand what women go through, but seeing what they go through is enough just to realise that gender inequality is real, and its way more prominent than men realise, if you truly look, you'll see it everywhere
You are a wise man and a good brother for not closing your eyes from the reality of our world. I wish you and your sisters a happy and successful life and that it'll get better for all of us
4:22 is such a cool little clip. everything we do is watched by men. our whole livelihood is attached to what men in power think of us. we’re constantly performing. i’m 22 and i’ve been un-learning the urge to try to get men to like me or be impressed by me. every day is a performance. we live to be looked at- men do not.
I actually cried while watching Barbie and the boyfriend of my mother seriously said after the film ended : “Well, it was pretty boring I thought it would be a comedy film”
it’s the way the movie on a deeper level is suppose to be towards mothers, connecting with your childhood and the beauty of humanity and some how a mother didn’t understand it like a bunch of teenage girls did
If you see this, I love you. I share your pain, I lend my strength. You contain multitudes regardless of how you’ve been treated. My tears run with yours. You are, and I love you for that.
I'm deeply sorry to all the women out there who have to suffer for men's wrongs and being treated wrongly by men. All women are an ultimate human being far beyond what is trajected in our awfully built society. As a man who has a pool of empathy, this short film really gave me insight as to who women are, what a woman is, the good, the bad, and the ugly of all of being a woman. Thank you, truthfully....
This is why I don’t understand when people say the barbie speech is bad because when I heard it for the first time I fought back tears SO hard because it wasn’t complex with hidden meanings or anything, it was the truth and it was so perfectly explained.
I cried watching this. The amount I could relate to us scary. I hate having to be perfect for my family. The stress, the standards. All to be some perfect little puppet to be thrown away when the son is born but giving them all the responsibility and stress. Neglect, ignoring me when I wanna talk about interests. It never ends. I'll never be good enough.
I’m a bloke behind enemy lines. I have patches where I’m down - normally self induced from my erratic student life style and during these I think about how I took for granted the better times. As guys, we go through our own battles but they don’t really compare & are mostly due to us not treating each other with the same level of love that you all do. The thought of having hormonal swings routinely pre-planned is heartbreaking & I genuinely feel for you all. Stay lovely & strong & kind for one another
I understand all coments about the sense of video, but I wanted to say about the video... It's such a fascinating work... It took all my attention, I was really impressed. It's a wonderful work, thank you ❤
It’s hard. Womanhood is the biggest challenge a girl can face. Whether you were born a woman, or born knowing you’re a woman, or born with anything in relation to feeling feminine. You just know. You know how hard it is. You know how we feel every single day. To everyone in this comment section, You are someone’s inspiration. Which means you don’t follow up to anyone’s expectations but the ones you’ve learned and made for yourself. You are so beautiful.
From a purely statistical point of view, needing to be the best at something in order to gain a sense of identity is insanity... ...and yet that's what I strive for and how I've pushed myself to accomplish so much.
Putting on makeup through tears of deep devastation, or rage. Knowing I need to stop crying because I have to get to the bus stop or to work and no one likes an emotional woman. Or based on the practice that no one deserves my tears. I used to hold my trauma so close to my chest and literally protect it. I’ve stopped that and I’m never going back.
Isn’t it funny how this video, about women, clearly depicting our experiences in this patriarchal world, is enough to threaten men (derogatory) and send them into the comment section to defend their gender, even when they weren’t mentioned once? all we do is exist really
I don't know why this brought up a memory in me - but it did. I remember once, in first grade, I made flags that said "Girls Rule!" for some of my classmates. I worked hard on them all night, and gave them to several of my friends the next school day. A few hours later they were all ripped to shreds and put in the trash bin. I remember being devastated that day, because I had worked hard on those and loved the message. And they ended up trashed and forgotten. A boy took one of them and scribbled over the word "girls" and wrote "boys". That little flag got hung up in the classroom. Another boy came the next day with flags that said "girls suck" and gave them to everyone. I haven't thought of this in years, but thinking about it now just reminds me of how even the simplest things that women try to do for themselves end up being twisted into the exact opposite of what was originally intended.
men need to understand that feminism isn’t “i hate men! get rid of men!”, its for equal rights, for every. single. person, any gender, any race, any religion. EQUAL RIGHTS
I don’t get the other men in the comments. This isn’t attacking us? In what way is this hurting you? If you somehow feel attacked by someone speaking about how they feel or hard truths, you’re the problem.
What I've learned from similar videos about men and ones like these about women is that we all suffer. The root of the pain may be vastly different, but it's all in an attempt to please society's norms. No man has the right to say that being a woman isn't hard, but no woman has the right to say that being a man isn't hard. Because you have no idea what It's like it be the other. We all struggle, we all suffer, and we all feel pain. It's impossible to be a woman, but it's also impossible to be a man, yet we all find a way. I'm proud of everyone who sees this, and I hope you can be proud of the others around you, too. Man or woman, everyone is living lives of desperation.
Very well said. I like those types of videos but hate to see people bring other gender down just because life is hard to them. Life is hard for us all, just in different ways. Why is that so hard to accept for some people?
To be a woman is to perform.
this is not an experience unique to women.
@@fadeath201 It is not unique but it is a constant in women
uhhhh dismissing the male experience like that is pretty toxic lmao @@Amy.Stewart
@@firstnamelastname9219 you do realize this is a video about women and she did not in any way mention that men don't have to perform too or that it cannot be constant, this comment shows the point of this video even more
oh boohoo the poor men. @@firstnamelastname9219
Being a woman…is like the ballet,the aesthetic is so beautiful and the dancing is so perfect but the pain you feel in your feet ,the perfection on your talent is just …pain
and even better, you can never complain or show that pain, and everyone has to compete for the same role
Did you come up with that? Cos..... DAMN SON🤌🏻
Spot on analogy
ye
womp womp
men try not to make everything about themselves challenge impossible
fr!
@Peloponnesia666 some men : see a video about women’s struggles
“Alright! Now would be a good time to start caring about men’s depression!”
Life of someone goals
1) not being dumb
2) find a not dumb man to marry
3) marry and have not dumb kids
(First one can be achieved but second one is a whole plan)
@@Dutiyf lol femcel alert
@Peloponnesia666 i have depression and this is gross
I feel so unbelievably understood right now
The feeling when ur putting on makeup and it’s not making u feel prettier is the worst feeling ever
ow how I envy women! be patient us men who are wise wish good health over beauty anyway. please don't perform, be the real you and it will inspire more to do too
@@MrPartyplopperThank you for this. It really means the world to me to hear you say that, and I know it does for countless other women and girls, too! 😍😍😭😭🥹🥹🙏🙏
@@Totally-Not-HarpLiterally. 😭😭💔💔
@ameliap9442 Same! 😍😍😭😭🥹🥹🙏🙏
i wish i could listen to that barbie speech for the first time again
me too i swear to god it made me have a mental breakdown in the movies
Fr, I didn't cry, but teared up as I exchanged knowing glances with my friends.
i didnt like barbie movie because i felt like i was getting bullied when they were talking about celulite being bad and flat feet😭
@@xButterfly_xxx then u didnt get the point of the movie and that scene actually
I cried. It was everything
im a 15 year old girl and sobbing rn because this video is just exactly how i feel right how thank you so much for making this
Me too gang
@@mitskimyloveee MITSKI FAN 😨🗣️🗣️🔥🔥🔥
It will get better love I promise you are so extraordinary and even if you don’t think you have, you have done and will continue to do amazing things
@@Khaosklownaww thanks 😭🫶
You have all your life ahead of you, you are strong and you will learn so much, never forget that we all are here together! It really gets better, i promise!
The pain monologue from fleabag changed my life's trajectory
@@suburbanyute340 you are bitter and a little sad. how curious
@@suburbanyute340imagine being angry and sad to the point where you have to be hateful under every single video about woman. You’re disgraceful.
Why do you feel so threatened@@suburbanyute340
@@aubreyplazasuncle what??
@@jessiemackinnon47 a troll deleted their comment
begging the men in the comments just for a second to not fucking feel attacked but to fucking *listen* to what we’re saying
Thank you they’re all so fucking annoying they insert themselves into anything even into a place where women are empathising with eachother and supporting eachother
Sadly a lot more of them are quicker to defend than listen.
@@biggie395 I don‘t see what there is to defend; this video didn’t attack us. I‘m listening.
I am so mad about how normalized it is to attack women for expressing their struggles. yeah, we also have problems, but take that somewhere else from here. like how about in a male mental health video, a terf comments "white men crying about their struggles, while us cis women are always unfairly treated. It has happened yes, but let us just quit it, now. and be understanding and supporting towards one another.
Yeah I feel attacked but who tf said we weren't listening
I'm in my 60s now, and have lived through decades of change in the status of women. It's been a long journey for many of us. This video really nailed the struggle. Sending love and support to all my sisters around the world.
We are still fighting, thank you to you🫂
Idk who u are ma’am but wish u a long life
There's the gender equality paradox. The gender-equality paradox is the finding that various gender differences in personality and occupational choice are larger in gender neutral countries. This shows that many women actually don't want feminism.
Ladies, love each other. We’re all we have
💙🤚🏻
well... that and men looking after you since the dawn of time but sure
I understand where you're coming from and you may be right, but it no longer feels that way. Of course there are still many men that love and look out for our women but it no longer feels like that for the majority of women. What the original commenter was trying to say is that since women no longer feel that men are on their side, they now feel like they only have each other to rely on.
I cant see my other reply so please let me know if you see it thank you :)@@Maria-dn5df
can you see my coments? theyre not showing up for me@@Maria-dn5df
Don't be skinny, don't be fat, don't be muscular to hurt the ego of others, don't be smart, don't be dumb, don't be a showoff, but don't be shy. Eat healthy, but allow yourself a burger, read books, be obsessed with video games and have knowledge about cars, but also be helpless so the man has something to do. Be strong, be weak, be a single mom while being a loving mother and wife. As a woman, you're told to be everything at once or you're nothing.
But why does it affect you what others simply tell you to do?
Edit:
And dont answer: "Because that is what is taught to us our whole life". I know that. My question is: what is STOPPING you, from stopping that now. You are a huge community, half the world actually, and do not owe anyone. Especially if you are grown up. Is it time to stop only commiserating yourself online? I do have empathy for you all, and your situation, and of course it is terrible that woman are pressed in these roles from a Young age.
Now what do you Plan to do to work against it? The only thing you CAN do is ask yourself: Why am I even doing this, why am I obeying others, why do I want to please others? And then come to a realisation that will help you break free.
I am not saying "you are weak if you dont start questioning and changing your behavior", I dont want to insult anyone, but someday you will have to Start questioning and changing your behavior, if you dont want to DEPEND on everyone else questioning and changing themselves. It is frustrating to see how many likes the comments get that basically say: "I already questioned myself, and reflected about our society, came to the conclusion what I have to do different, but I am not doing it because it is not easy because of blablabla" I know that that makes you feel understood, but how is that Mentality going to help? That is nothing other then accepting your fate and still whining about it. No strong Person would do that.
And lastly I am not saying that men dont go through a similar process. Its just not the topic.
@@Chronischer_Innenbahn-Laeufer Because it's around us, in our societies, in our environments. Which means we experience it since our childhoods, it's part of our development, so we can't just shrug it off. Many of us are taught and pressured to care about opinions of others and to forget about our own. So one thing is that it's with us from the beginning and there's also something else. Pressure of the group, if a group of people disagrees with us, it's normal to have doubts and to lean into their opinion. Especially when it happens from various sources and over time
@@Nashleyism But if you can reflect about it that well, you should be in control of your anxiety, and dont Listen to the pressure. I dont think the she conplained about normal group pressure that is the reason you shower, obey the law and feed your cat, but rather the kind that has unfullfillable expectations to you. It is too easy to Brush those off, especially when you recognized them as what they are like you two
@@Chronischer_Innenbahn-Laeufer Nope. Knowing something can make things easier but does not equal to instant change. Stuff like anxiety, beliefs etc need more work, they are written in our automatic reactions and subconscious thinking. And pressure is not always something we can just not listen to. Depends on who does it comes from, how often and how resilient we do are.
Recognition of the problem does not equal to the solution. That's only the beginning of change. And it's hard to change in the environment that is unsafe.
To answer your original question it does affect us what other people tell us to do. We are social creatures and need to be accepted and to belong. And women are often taught how they should act, what they should do and think, there are societal, family and religion expectations put on them, lots of pressure from many sides and everyone acts like we are bad human being if we won't live to this impossible standards. The amount of pressure and sources of that pressure is not something anyone should deal with. And most of us deal with it since the childhood, we are taught we should be this and that the same way we are taught to brush our teeth. So many of us don't even realise, many can feel it but don't have words. And recognising that we can be who we want to be and that other people opinions are just that, is just the begining of the healing journey. There's a lot of work needed to internalise that. And it's much easier to do that work without dealing again with the same bullshit opinions again and again on a daily basis.
Also many of us want a better future for the children. So they can grow without all of that pressure and opinions and expectations thrown at them all the time.
im 13. i felt this too much for a 13 year old.
Welcome to womanhood.....
Don't be fooled by this propaganda piece
@@ceooflonelinessinc.267 shut up
@@ceooflonelinessinc.267this isn’t propaganda. it’s how it feels to be a woman.
What you seem to be feeling, isn't the reality. E.g. nobody forces you to marry a man - let alone give birth to children.
I’m so glad America has been nominated. She killed this speech and it made me cry.
SAME
It was, without a doubt, the most important and impactful part of the entire movie.
But my country doesn't, i am so sick😢😢
Me too
I love zmerica Hail america
The clip of the little girl looking at her body in the leotard hit so close to home for me it hurt. I was obsessed with perfecting my body since I was 5. And I’ve never stopped since
this is not an experience unique to women.
@@fadeath201 She never said that it was only for women, but women have always been the most affected by this problem.
I Never Said it was only for women. I said that it was something I, as a woman, relate to. Please READ the comment before your reply.
@@fadeath201omg can you not make it about yourself for one second when you die nobody will remember you and your physical body will be torn apart by the maggots and nobody will care because we are all mounds of flesh that think we matter hurling through space on a tiny rock orbiting a star. Please stop being attention seeking.
@@fadeath201stop replying this on every comment with someone sharing their experience. no know thinks men have it perfect. stop making it about men. we’re simply talking about how women experience societal pressures.
The fact that men in the comments are dismissing what we’re saying and asking “what about us”, that isn’t the point rn can we please have one thing
They don’t care about men’s issues up until a woman talks about theirs. Male issues are valid, but it’s like why tf do they bring them up only when women talk about their issues? They too can advocate for themselves and make videos bringing awareness, but they just don’t. In actuality they don’t care and just want a gotcha moment
Exactly. I understand that men have struggles as well, and many of them are the same (or similar) to ones that women experience. But the difference is that men constantly have the upper hand in many situations. It’s not based upon what women can and can’t do, it’s based upon what they are told. Sure, you don’t have to believe it, but it’s a subconscious thing. For decades women have constantly been amounted to their looks, or been told that they shouldn’t have this job because “what if they’re on their menstrual cycle and follow their moody impulses,” or it’s that they “wouldn’t be able to understand like a man can”, or that they “aren’t as strong”. It’s not that we aren’t willing to listen to the struggles of men, it’s that many of those same men aren’t willing to listen to ours. Anyways, maybe I’m kind of just going on and on so I’ll end it here, but I’m sure you get the gist of what I mean.
@@gifcities My guess is that women talking about their problems generally leads back to men and the patriarchy which can be easily seen as some sort of attack, so they “retaliate” by pointing out men’s issues too.
Ikr
Lets talk about your problems after we talked about our problems. Talk about your problems when its about your problems and not when we try to talk about ours.
I had an argument with my dad. He was talking about how women don't have any disadvantages anymore because legally we're not disadvantaged. And I had to disagree, we don't have any legal disadvantages anymore, but that doesn't mean we get treated equally all the time. He asked me to give an example. The thing I immediately thought about in that moment was how I felt like I wasn't taken seriously in the conservatory. He says "It's really easy to blame everything that goes wrong on being a woman". I never said that I failed because I'm a woman. And I couldn't really get out eh words to explain what I was trying to say. So I'd like to do it now.
I never thought I failed because I'm a woman. But it did not help. I'm sure that if I wasn't as feminine or came across as serious and stern I wouldn't have faced the same judgements.
I had been told straight to my face that I had to take myself seriously, but at the same time I apparently was taking myself too seriously when I'd defend my art or when I got completely blocked and couldn't even write anymore. So what exactly wasn't serious about me? The fact that I wore cute clothing? The fact that I wore makeup that made me look sweet? The fact that I come across as naive because of my bubbly personality and shyness? The fact that I don't tend to fight back?
The things that I have learned I'm supposed to be as a woman? Luckily for me I don't dislike these traits. I tend to like being cute and feminine. Not so lucky for me that means that I have try very damn hard to be seen as serious and capable. And not so lucky for me I couldn't handle that and ended up completely breaking down.
I didn't even realize how unfair this one specific teacher really was to me. He would give me bullshit criticism that meant absolutely nothing, I couldn't learn anything and he just made me feel like a silly little girl in the process. Too silly to understand all these grand philosophical things he was talking about. Liking hearing himself talk way too much to listen to try to understand what I was doing, what I wanted to do.
Some other things.
I can't walk alone at night through certain streets in my neighborhood without being spoken to, followed and getting scared out of my mind cuz I cannot defend myself if something were to happen.
I feel more safe when going out with a guy in my group because it's so much easier if a guy can tell off guys for you. Which is so unfair. I get scared when I have to reject a guy because I'm afraid that I'll bruise his ego and if I'm really unlucky, he will make sure that I suffer more from that rejection than he did.
Being seen as more than just a woman or a woman with a cool skill by men is kind of hard. Which sucks because this world is litterally run by men. So we also have to appeal to men in some capacity if we want to get stuff done. Or be a cool ass bitch that somehow demands so much authority that it doesn't even matter (tho I'm sure they also get their fair share of men being butthurt cause this woman is just walking all over them because... she's capable.)
I used to be completely ignored by some guys in my scouting group because they didn't think I was pretty. And I still feel this to this day. To many guys I'm absolutely nothing if they don't deem me attractive. Ignored and pushed aside, worthless.
So don't tell me that I shouldn't put much effort in my makeup and clothing because it sure as hell is important. Even to these snobs who look down on women for caring about their looks, don't sit there and tell me you aren't the first to complain about a woman wearing too much makeup or wearing skimpy clothing. Who's the one obsessed with looks and clothes now?
(This is a bit of different thing I guess but I still want to mention it: I get hit on by guys and clearly feel how they're looking down on me. Arrogant assholes who mistake my sweetness for being dumb. Yet they still hit on me? And it just makes me feel horribly disgusting.
Or you can feel a guy being interested in you... but it's not really you, even when you start talking a lot they really don't care about you at all. They're not getting to know you. I don't know what they're interested in but its not me. Makes me feel very icky and disgusting. )
So no, it's not just because I'm a woman. It just makes it pretty damn hard sometimes. And some women are strong enough to fight through all that and to fight for what they're worth and deserve. I'm not. I sit quietly because I'm not supposed to complain. I don't naturally push back and assume that when people blame me or tell me I'm doing something wrong... They're right. I don't have any of that naturally and I've never been taught to fight back. All I ever got was questioning. "You're not having mental difficulties, you just wanted to be lazy and your teacher dying was the perfect opportunity for that." "Maybe you're just misunderstanding what he's saying to you"
This may be all over the place. I'm writing this on my phone so I don't have a good overview of what I just wrote. But it's 2am and I'm having a complete mental breakdown. So yee, this was fun lol.
Heyyyy, just wanted too say thank you for writing all that out. I relate a lot to some of the parts you mentioned. Especially the part about being feminine or having a bubbly personality and being looked down on or weirdly sexualized by guys who are interested in you. You're brave for sharing your experiences💜 I hope opening up helped a bit with your mental breakdown and that you're feeling better now girlie💜💜💜
You are so brave and strong. Thank you for getting this off your chest, I really hope you're feeling better ♥
This world is completely against us as women, and even if you aren't fighting back, it takes a hell of a lot of effort to push through.
I hope you have a wonderful day. I don't have much to say, but I admire you for saying this stuff. It resonates with me a lot.
Thank you 💗
thank you for sharing! honestly, i want to reread all of that again and again for some reason. maybe, because, we have the same problems and im very glad that someone is speaking up about the things i feel as well. i cant clearly explane my emotions, and seeing our problems is getting picked up is just like a blessing💘
Teach... Your father, well! ❤❤❤
This made me fucking cry, I feel you. Being a woman really is impossible and men can't even understand that or attempt to understand that. All they can say is that they also have their shit and they also feel bad sometimes. But it feels like they just want us to feel miserable so that they can keep controlling us. I don't hate the world, but it gets so damn difficult sometimes to be grateful when this is the constant state we women have to live in.
I hate being a woman because of this pain but I love it at the same time because it’s something all of us women are in together. It breaks my heart that girls bully others but yet we all go through it. Love you, gals.
Pain of what exactly, if you could mind elaberating. I'm not trying to argue or anything btw I'm just trying to underestand.
@@Ara24_tdMenstruation and Pregnancy
@@Ara24_tddidn't you watched the full video??
The video explains it pretty well:>
Only not everyone go through it. Unfortunately some of us die. The girls have to face with social media beauty standards, the filters what makes them feel that they have to go under the knife and other plastic surgeries to risking their health and sometimes their lives… of course back in the time they had very unhealthy beauty processes, products from the too tight corset to poisoning powders, not too mention the lack of rights starting from child marriages and even queens were reduced to a baby factory to producing an heir, but the speed of recent changes in technology makes it so widespread that it’s really worrying. Add to it that misogynistic politicians turn back the time and would cancel what or mothers, grandmothers, and great grandmothers fought for, and the trad wifes happily would throw away! I don’t mind if someone a stay at home mum, or “just” a housewife, as long as it’s serves both parties and based on mutual respect, but not for a misinterpretated nostalgic nonsense and let themselves dominated by their husbands and being submissive. Being soft, doesn’t mean you have to throw away your dignity!
This was a risky video to make, but holy shit i cried, i feel seen, thank you for making this.
how is this risky?
@@turble148men ☕️
@@turble148 ‼️ SOME ‼️ men are very sensitive and cannot fathom the fact that women are human beings who through stuff too and whenever we talk about what we go through ‼️ SOME ‼️ men get really angry because they cant accept the fact that not everything is about them :) (keyword: ‼️ SOME ‼️ if it dont apply, let it fly
@@turble148 maybe for trans?
@@mariaylllow REAL
I wonder how many men are going to comment on this asking about their version, that's totally not yet another issue
I don't quite get the second part, what do you mean?
They probably already have. Most men I’ve seen in this comment section are mad that women are gathering and supporting eachother
well it seems like people are quite respectful and passive here at least. I'm glad about that
@@notpostingx5035 wait really? I haven't seen any yet
@@thewrathofdumbledore4867 scroll a bit more and look under comments where a woman is talking abt her struggles. You’ll find plenty
That barbie speech is wonderful. If we could just all as individual humans live with a peaceful and respectful mindset... But we cannot, because we are complex humans and we have ideas and opinions and emotions, ¿or can we? We don't know.
And just Imagine all the people living life in peace.... how wonderful that would be, or at least that is what we think.
i think we can never know we aren't perfect to make such world
thing is we humans are not built to be happy, but to survive. survival (however it comes across in certain situations) is paramount, happiness is not.
Also it's sad how it shows that half of the women problem comes from men
I kinda feel like its really flat tho, it could be so much more and should be but its not
@@glittergoat91Happiness depends on the quality of life, so we could say that it is the secondary goal of our race
what sucks is that girls start to relate to this at such a young age. I'm only 13, and I started feeling like this when I was 10.
I remember that when I watched Barbie for the first time, every single man and woman in that movie hall applauded after that speech.
🧢
i swear i felt so connected to everyone at that theatre everyone was applauding and cheering
@@WAX117 lol we have a skeptic
Oh no, in the theater that i went some guys started laughing like it was a joke. I never wanted to hit someone so badly
sameee
I wish every girl sat in a theatre and watched this, we don’t realize how much we deserve and how much we give of ourselves.
I wish people would see this all around the world and just create a society of women that all accept each other so the women can just acknowledge each other and realize everyone is going through this. If you know what I mean.
There's the gender equality paradox. The gender-equality paradox is the finding that various gender differences in personality and occupational choice are larger in gender neutral countries. This shows that many women actually don't want feminism.
You don’t deserve anything more than a man deserves. Both genders struggle.
No one deserves anything. This idea is why female entitlement is an all time high.
i remember my dad trying to comfort me when i bursted into tears during the speech in barbie when we watched it in theaters… it still hits hard TwT
I had the same thing happen. I think it was during the montage. He saw me crying and kept asking what’s wrong. I didn’t say anything and all i could think was what do you think
@@lettuceboy4180 That's some good communication with your Father. Sounds like you really appreciate him.
I'm not even an adult yet, and i feel all of this, like, pressure to be perfect, to be a people pleaser, to be straight, to be thin, to be healthy, to wear makeup, to not complain, and for what? Why do we women have to be all of that for others? Why not let us be who we are? Why not let us be women, real ones, not fake. Cause that is what we wish, to be real, to be ourselves, without needing to be what other people want us to be. And if all of that is written and felt by a 12 year old, i really think the world needs to be changed. Love, a girl who has had enough.
Damn, i didn't even think about my sexuality at 12 years old. Kids nowadays should be kids
@jiorno_jowana true
You did not post this lmao@@jiorno_jowana
@@jiorno_jowana Early internet exposure my man
this is not an experience unique to women. you are being manipulated into thinking that the pressure to be perfect is unique to women, and that men have it perfect, but we dont. its sad to see these ideas present in such a young woman.
I don’t know what to say, I feel understood, sad, happy, pain, heart broken, hopeful, and just not okay.
this is not an experience unique to women.
@@fadeath201didn’t know men Experienced period pain boob pain birth pain being constantly sexualized (it happens more to women be honest) and I didn’t know they knew how it feels being a women in general thanks for the info. We know we have similarities but it’s not the same the experiences a man has vs a woman is different
@@fadeath201 Yeah, we know, but this is a video about women.
We'll be okay❤
@@fadeath201 why do you feel the need to reply to every comment with this response? You do acknowledge that despite the fact that we are all in a strict, cruel and controlling society and yes men do face the horrors too, but we all experience it differently and I hate to have to tell you this but this feeling is unique to women, we have always been objects bought and sold by men, like broodmares, born to only be an incubator and a slave to husbands. I can guarantee that you have never feared that you could lose autonomy over your own body due to your own government recently, because each government seems to have come to the agreement to start taking rights away from women, the fucking people in charge and do you wanna know the main ones making the rules? Men, rich, white privileged men, I can give you a few names of men who have taken away women’s rights in the past 5 years, Greg Abbott, Brian Kemp, Ron DeSantis, John Roberts, Brett Kavanaugh and that’s only five men in the past five years, people who have never had a uterus in their lives, people who will never know the true agony of pregnancy, took away women’s rights to choose their lives over something that could’ve stolen their entire life, either literally or metaphorically. Just think about why you keep commenting this and if you don’t know then I can tell you why, you felt personally attacked by it, you felt victimised, you thought ‘hm this must be women’s ways of saying they hate me and all men’ but it’s not, we only hate the men who have wronged us, used us, abused us, if you think that we are attacking you personally, ask yourself why and consider the fact of who we really hate, do you fall under those categories? If you don’t then congratulations, we don’t hate you, we don’t want you gone from the earth, we don’t want you to feel like it’s all your fault because it isn’t, but if you do fall under those categories, why?
I fucking love women. I don’t understand the men in the world who can be misogynistic. Women are beautiful, angry, hurt, tired. Anger in women is so beautifully scary, and it’s so empowering in a way. You can feel it in your soul.
your so sweet, I love men as well. we were created to love one another, not hate .
@@five.of.hearts Aww thanks :]
And yea I don't understand either
You are loved.
I am litterally touched, impressed, confused, and agreeing so much at the same time, that was one of the most magnificent 4:59 minutes in a video…
the elegant yet gruesome indescribable pain and beauty of being a women is something so indescribable
There's no beauty it's trash and we need to change it.
And god forbid you’re really sick… it’s obviously your period. This video actually brought me to tears.
Or "its all in your head" and you just need to "calm down and stop tensing up so much"
i have celiac disease and it took years to even just get tested. i saw several doctors a year. i told them it feels like i have a stomach bug all the time. i was severely underweight. i had to drop out of school. over and over they kept telling me it's my period, it's anxiety, it's hormones, it's me being hysterical, im faking this for attention. nope it was celiac disease. and the late diagnosis gave me chronic gastritis and other issues. very similar experience when i had lyme disease and an ovarian cyst. and of course all medical research is male-centered and doctors tend to ignore the fact that women have more complex bodies.
There's the gender equality paradox. The gender-equality paradox is the finding that various gender differences in personality and occupational choice are larger in gender neutral countries. This shows that many women actually don't want feminism.
Being a teenage boy this is both new and eye opening experience , and no by all means this video isn't an attack. So I'll just leave this , to my Mother, my friends and to my GF and to all the Ladies THANKYOU for being you !!
And here I was thanking people for doing kind things or being generous. I should just thank them for existing lol.
the world needs more people like you to listen and understand us. thank you. please never lose your ability to listen.
You were raised really well, thank you for just being respectful
I also want to thank your mother (idk if ya got a dad but if you do then I thank him too) for raising such a wonderful kid who already is so kind!
Thank you for telling
i started crying while watching this. i saw amy winehouse accepting her grammy while the barbie speech and “think of me once in a while, take care” started playing, and now the fake tan i had just put on is streaked down my face. this is 100% what girlhood is. thank you for this video. i feel so incredibly seen.
All men on earth should what this video. Thank you
Beautiful editing, this is a powerful work of art.
yeah this hits much harder after these election results...
If you can, you NEED to submit this to the National High School Film Festival. this is beautiful.
All these comments from men belittling us are only proving the point of the video
Exactly
I'm afraid that my future husband will turned out to become a huge b***h, i want a humble nice guy but everything i see is making me think more about marriage.
i literally saw a dude complain and whine about how “women paint men as disgusting creatures” but as SOON as he saw an empowering and positive comment about women (specifically the speech in barbie) he shut the idea down. honestly baffles me and genuinely makes me wonder what goes on in that mind of his (as well as many, MANY other men).
As a woman this was truly healing to watch and hear
& men swear we live life in “easy mode.” they have no idea. just the reality that hit me after becoming a mother has blown my mind. & it’s a reality that they will never have to face.
Actually men can face becoming a "mother", because *news flash* we can get pregnant now. So, how about taking your bigotry somewhere else girl.
@@learningagain4094 ? Nobody was being bigoted.
This. Also them thinking that is part of what makes it so hard...
@@rotary_phone1217you just generalised men
@@talklad2007did she ??? I don’t think so time and time again men have shown us and besides don’t males receive sympathy when looking after children. Oh he’s just a DAD
I was raised and socialized as a woman, so I will never, ever forget the struggle of living as one. I will never not stand up for my friends who are women, or even strangers who are. Girls rule.
Girls do rule, and I strongly relate. Also, awesome profile picture
Abbey is one of my favorite mitski songs I love that it’s getting recognition
RIGHT
this touched me so much. As a man, i feel like every other man is so toxic and offended by what men have made women feel. I'm sorry.
Thanks you are a good man
GREEN FLAG. YOU ARE A GREEN FLAG SIR
You're one in million
Thank you for listening to us.
i am convinced, that every person should watch this at least once
1:36 that speech is so real some men forget that women are humans too and that women are also different you can't just categorize women in one thing and say women should do this women shouldn't do that, No, every women should follow her own passion in the thing that she want to do that will also help us and help the world we live in
Some women also forget that men are also human
@@Gerrit_M exactly people should understand eachother more deeply
@@yaro_fortwentyreal
@@Gerrit_M men trying not to make everything about themselves challenge
I’ve always felt sexism in the sense that, when a guy is loud and friendly he’s called “outgoing” but I’m just viewed as “loud” and “ a lot” it feels like when a guy is talkative it’s praised, but not when I do it. Guys look at me like I’m annoying and worthless just because I’m not digestible and timid
Lots of feelings here, maybe its all in your head.
@@learningagain4094 oh shut it
@@learningagain4094men🍼
@@learningagain4094I don’t like you. I don’t. your the reason I wanna die.
@@learningagain4094 never speak or think again.
As a man, I deeply feel and understand that women are literal warriors and deserve so much more in this wretched world, so many men don't understand women's pain and it pisses me off. I'm here for you guys, I will journey with you and protect you from any harm and discrimination.
that just makes you an actual man compared to these little boys, be proud
Thank you
Thank you for listening to us.
happy international women’s day pretty souls❤️❤️
I have watched this so many times today. The need to be heard is overwhelming.
This was just unbelievably beautiful and heartbreaking. My soul feels so heavy and yet so light knowing my struggles are felt by every other woman, but also my struggles are felt by every other woman, ya know?? 10/10 great job!
Gosh I’m not even an adult yet but I’ve already struggled with these things. I just don’t understand why we separate each other by gender so much. Everyone is different anyway, but we make such a big divide between men and women. It’s such a small thing to be mad about when you think about it. Yes, men and women do have big differences and different struggles, but lots of those struggles are created by us making such a large difference between us anyway! We can’t lump all people into tiny little boxes of personality just because of the differences in our bodies. Everyone is different but we can accept it and come together. Unfortunately, people just refuse to change their viewpoints, which is frustrating.
☝
that is such a nice viewpoint to have. all these struggles between genders is just us making a big deal out of those differences, and as a biologist, I've learned that different sexes balance each other out. If I have a certain weakness, I have something else that balances out that weakness. So in reality, we are not THAT different. I highly recommend a book called, "Sapiens" by Yuval Noah Harari. He, in his book, explains this issue much much better!
It's frustrating that you don't understand how much hormones affect the brain, and the body/CNS. Once you get more life experience, you will understand. From how men and women socialise; to how girls/boys interact with toys (self-insertion); reaction to stress; work/life balance; and how competition manifests. Unfortunately for you, the truth is that gender transcends personality, and its not about what makes you smile, or sad, or depressed, or even what commanlity you find in everfyday struggles. Just remember that just because a vocal minority accepts a theory, it doesn't mean the majority do, and this something that is being shown across surveys and elections across the western world at this time.
It's men forcing this onto women. Male people who hate female people and created a system to use exploit and break us. It isn't everyone against gender. It's women surviving men.
i’m a trans man, and i have….. i couldn’t describe to you how this makes me feel. there’s a part of me that feels guilty for leaving. it’s not as if i hated being a girl, i loved it so much and there are still things i miss dearly. i just want every woman out there to know that us trans dudes are in your corner. trans women, we have your back. cis women, we have your back. i found so much joy in being a little girl, but my truth lies here. i’m so glad other people can find joy and elation in femininity where i couldn’t, and i hope all of you have insanely happy lives. cry, laugh, eat good food, have good sex, make dear friends. never forget that being a woman is so difficult. being any person that isn’t a white cis straight able bodied man is so difficult. we’re in this together. don’t ever forget.
Don't feel guilty for living your truth. You haven't left, you became. ❤
You are so valid, and you are forever loved.
As another trans guy, this comment and this video makes me feel not alone
Uncovering every last facet of truth is how we live, love, and all grow together. You never left, and we have your back still, too.
I'm not quite "woman," something like "girl," and for now that's enough for me.
Don't feel guilty for leaving, that 'little girl' you once were, was still a boy in disguise, you owe to yourself and to him, to be yourself, and to set yourself free. You are still the same person, you did not leave anything behind, but you grew and found yourself, and for that you should be proud.
As a 15 year old girl... I really needed this, and i am crying so much right now. It sucks how this is the life of a woman.
Since my math was pretty bad, my parents sent me to a tutoring class that’s run in this man’s house. He’s like 86, so he’s pretty old fashioned. He constantly calls the girls in my class annoying or dumb, he tells them to shut up, he says that they will never have a successful future, etc. the class has a lot more girls than boys btw. He never talks to his male students like this and always praises them, telling them how good they’re doing and that he knows that they’ll be successful. He talks about the girls in our class getting married a lot (for example he once told a female student that her husband will love her a lot in the future since she’s really dumb, he says stuff like this a lot and we can’t do much bc he hits us with a wooden spatula bc he’s old fashioned and sht and the guys just laugh) but he never does this for the guys. He never says that their wives will hate them or that they have to get married in the future. Im saying this bc once he made another marriage joke to a female student and she said “I’ll never get married!” And he said “you have to, it’s always the women who say stuff like this who get married the fastest.” We have to tie our hair up in class or else we get yelled at or hit. There’s guys who have their hair literally covering their eyes and he doesn’t bat an eye. There’s a male student who literally does nothing the whole class and talks back to him, and he never gets yelled at or hit. He cried for two hours because he didn’t want to go to tutoring or do work, and he didn’t get yelled at or hit either. I get yelled at if I don’t extend the fraction line enough to cover the denominator, yet he can do the worst shit you can do in a classroom and get away with it. My teacher yells at girls who sit “unladylike,” too. Parents of girls get called in regularly when they talk back or if they have a nasty expression on their face (im a frequent culprit of this.) he called my mom in once because I “had a bad attitude” (I couldn’t remember some formulas and got hit really hard) and he told her “I know that raising a teenage girl is very hard.” He went on to say that teenage girls are nightmares to deal with, and that my mom must be so tired of me. He’s always telling us to mind our own business, yet he’s constantly telling us what to wear, how our parents should raise us, how insufferable we are, etc. the most infuriating part is that my mom just accepts it. She doesn’t talk back at all, and just nods and thanks him. I don’t mean to toot my own horn or anything, but (according to my mom) I am the opposite of difficult to raise. The reason why teenage girls are seen as difficult is because I guess hormones make us more emotional. It’s true that im moodier more often than I was when I was younger, but I don’t take it out on other people. The reason why he thought I was difficult was because I didn’t have a pleasant expression in my face while doing algebra for two and a half hours and getting yelled at for about 75 percent of the time. Who the fck enjoys that? He’s always saying that he just wants the best for us, and that we’re ungrateful and will never find a husband.
Idk if this is related but I had a male friend (who im not friends with anymore thank god) who I was friends with since elementary school. During the pandemic, I was homeschooled for about a year longer than everyone else, so when I came back to school I was really excited to see everyone. I was expecting for me and my friend to get along fine, but he had new friends, and I didn’t want to butt into his life or make it seem like I had a crush on him by talking to him too much (because apparently being nice to a boy means you take romantic interest in them) so I kept my distance but was still nice to him. We went to the same tutoring program, and our class only had the two of us. During tutoring, I would try to talk to him a lot but he would always respond really dryly or say something mean back. I was a little taken aback by this, since he wasn’t like this before, and when we would make fun of each other it would be stuff like “you’re a poopy head” and we would both laugh but he would straight up call me dumb and ugly with a straight face and it really looked like he meant it. I was hurt whenever he said these things, but I never really said anything because I would get told that he was just joking or that he was a boy and this was his way of flirting. The next year, our school started providing breakfast, and since I had no friends, I would sit with his friends at their table during breakfast. His friends were alright, but whenever I said anything he would say something like “shut up you’re so annoying” or “this is why you have no friends” and his friends would usually just laugh. I honestly wanted to cry, but I didn’t leave since he was my “best friend” and I didn’t want to ruin our friendship. This year, whenever I said anything to him (because I was still attempting to be his friend and be nice) he would say something mean back. One time, the topic of yin and yang popped up in our conversation for some reason and he said “im the male one (the black one) because im logical and smart, and you’re the female one (the white one) because you’re loud and annoying.” I had gotten a little used to the mean stuff he said before, but this one hurt. I just laughed along, like I always did, so I could be a cool girl who could take his jokes or something (idk…). In 7th grade, we all went into a new school, and this school year he was being nicer. That was until his friends were saying stuff like “oh you must like her since you guys talk a lot” and I guess that hurt his ego because he went back to how he was before. I didn’t bother trying to get him to be my friend this time, since I knew it wasn’t worth trying. The worst part about this was that I can’t really complain much because I’ll get told that he likes me or that he’s a young boy and that’s how they are or some other bs. He treats his mother like trash too, but she’s always so nice to him. He always made me feel like shit, calling me stupid, dumb, lazy, or ugly every single day. I would cry so much about why I couldn’t be as good as him. I hated myself so much because I actually believed that he was superior and that I deserved everything (bc he said that I called him a mean name in kindergarten so I felt like I deserved it).
I’m thirteen years old, and since I was three, I wished to be prettier. I’m East Asian, so my eyes are small, I have monolids, and my hair is almost black. I wished to have blonde hair and blue eyes. When people said I could be anything when I grew up, I thought it meant that when I grew up, I could be the girl I wished to be. I started caring about my appearance and how boys thought of me since preschool. I worried about how my nose looked when I was 6, and I would pinch it to see how it would look if it was “prettier.” I didn’t know what it meant when I sat on my mom’s male co-worker’s knee and he started bouncing it, snickering to himself. I didn’t know why my mom took me away so quickly and told me that we wouldn’t be seeing him again. I know that craving male validation isn’t how I should live my life, but how is that possible when the world is run by men? I don’t wear the clothes I want to wear and I don’t express my interests because I don’t want to be seen as “unattractive” to men. My female classmates and I are sexualized all the time, and I feel disgusting every time a boy calls me hot. I can’t do anything about it, because it’s a compliment, right? If I said something back, I’m not fun to hang out with. Im afraid every time im outside alone. I know that if an adult man were to take interest in me, I wouldn’t be able to fight back. If I told anyone, he wouldn’t get into much legal trouble, that is, if I would be able to make it out alive. So I don’t wear super revealing clothing because I don’t want to attract those types of men, but I was made to appeal to men. I was made to be a mother, right? It doesn’t matter what I wear or say or do in the end, because I am just a girl. No one will truly take me seriously. There’s nothing I can do about it, because this is how it works. Throughout my life, I will have to kiss up to men and make them feel good about themselves just so I can be a fraction of how successful they are. I will be sexualized, and there is a high chance that I will experience SA multiple times in my life. And there’s nothing I can do about it. Sometimes I wonder why I couldn’t have been born a man.
I’m really sorry and I hope one day you can escape this I’m sorry and I love you
Fuck the stupid math teacher and that stupid brat (ex)friend of yours, I hope you are doing fine.
Manifesting all the positivity and happiness for you.
God, the pressure put on us women actually disgusts me. I'm sorry all of that happened to you, tho sorry doesn't really fix anything. Although I'm just someone on the internet, someone who is just a stranger, I can only pray and hope you go through this and acquire the strength to stand up to yourself, I wish you a good life ahead.
Hey you, thank you for writing all of that. I'm so sorry to hear that this is your experience. There are a couple things I wanted to say: first of all, I hope you aren't with that tutor anymore, he sounds like a horrible person! You don't have to marry and you don't have to kiss up to anyone. The most important thing is how YOU feel about yourself, and no other opinion matters! So if someone is critical of you not getting married, screw them. It's your life, and you can live it the way YOU want. As long as you feel satisfied about yourself and your achievements. Truly nothing else matters. You only have one life, don't live it for others.
That also brings me to the second thing: ignore that stupid guy friend or anyone else that brings you down (thank God you're not talking to him anymore!). If someone calls you dumb or ugly; what on earth do they know?! Maybe you're not the best at maths, fine! But you must be good at something else! For example, English. I don't know if it's your native language, but you write so incredibly well. Not only in the sense of grammar and stuff, but also the way you form sentences: you'd be a great writer! And there must be a ton of other things you do very well! I believe in you! Anyone else who says mean stuff like that is not worthy of your attention. I have been a little chubby all my life, and people used to make fun of me. I once got so thin, that my health was in danger just because I wanted to feel pretty. Now I'm just a little chubby again but I'm happier than ever, because I know that I don't need other opinions, and that I can ignore those that say bad stuff. It's all about what you think of yourself. You are smart, you are not lazy, you are awesome. And anyone who says otherwise is not worthy of your time. We have one life, don't spend it laughing off insults or pleasing others. You are here for YOU. So don't surround yourself with people that bring you down. And don't feel less pretty than blondes, all humans are beautiful to someone. But it only matters if you are beautiful for yourself.
On that note, I am blonde with blue eyes, but I think the Asian looks are gorgeous and there is nothing as wonderful as the dark hair you have! We always want what we don't have, but don't let it bring down your self-esteem: others want what you have!
Third thing: never think that you deserve being treated badly. The only thing you deserve is happiness and well-being. I truly wish it for you. And again, anyone else that doesn't bring you happiness is not worth your time.
Last thing: you can talk back to people. If they get angry, then you don't need them in your life. Surround yourself with people who truly care for you. If they don't want you to talk back and stand up for yourself, then they don't care for you. And you're not made to be a mother: you can live your life fully also without being super accomplished or having children. I hope you can surround yourself with people who can love you for who you are and not make you feel bad, because you deserve to be taken seriously and everyone needs to acknowledge your worth. I know I can't physically change much for you via the internet, but I wish you all the best. And if you want a friend who believes in you, just let me know and I could send you my email address to talk if you want. Don't feel pressured though. Not at all! I don't want to be creepy: you absolutely don't need to if you don't want to talk. I won't take it as an insult. I just want you to know that you can if you want or need to talk.
I just want to let you know you are always worthy, super wonderful, and strong, and that you should only surround yourself with people who understand that too. You don't need to be a mother or anything you don't want to be. Dress the way you want to. Live your life for you and you alone.
Lots of love and all the best from a Dutch girl who will always believe in you!
My Chemistry teacher told us that all girls say we don't want children before we settle down -_-
I was 8 the first time I was cat called. I was 10 the first time a guy touched me inappropriately. I was 13 the first time a guy tried to look up my skirt. I am now 15 and these memories ,even though they are small compared to other women’s experiences, still haunt me. But maybe they are not small, maybe that is just what I’ve learned to be. To be small, to be quiet, to smile and look pretty. To never speak up and tell people what I’ve experienced because they won’t believe me anyways because I’m just a girl. But I don’t want to be small and I don’t want to be quiet and I want to smile for me and I want to feel pretty for me. But I don’t know how. I feel hopeless because I’m just a 15 year old girl and i don’t know how to change this. But I’m so tired of feeling hopeless. So I’m writing this here in a comment section full of strangers and women who are standing together because it feels like the safest place I can speak even if my voice shakes.
Why dont people listen to you? That was the most moving comment i think i’ve ever read, youre a very poetic person. Also i know a lot of girls that can relate to everything you said. Sure, (i’m almost certain) most women have been raped, but all women have been sexualized whether they know it or not. Your experience is something many people including me can relate to, and you commenting this speaks for all of us out here that dont know how to say it.
Never forget, little sister, that you have every right to take space and take up the entirety of your existence. That much is owed to you. Your life is not a commodity that works around the lives of others. It is not up for debate or commentary, though people will try to express their judgements. Your life is yours to be as extraordinary or mediocre as you want. Your safe space starts with you.
It breaks my heart a little bit when other women or young women feel like their experiences are "small compared to other women's experiences". There is no such thing as a small experience. I'm an SA survivor, and if there's anything I've learned it's that there's no point in comparing your experience to someone else's. None are less valid and they're all part of a larger issue - that some men (and too many of them) don't seem to see women as human beings. Many of us stayed silent when we should have spoken out. Have accepted situations where we shouldn't have. If you have any older women in your life that you trust (mother, aunt, etc.) try speaking to them if you feel they will hear you. I can pretty much guarantee that they've had some experiences in their life.
I don’t know why I got this but I’m glad I did
This was probably one of the most beautiful things ive seen my whole life
"And when im crying they start laughing" i feel that more than i should
criminally underrated. with videos like these clips are just thrown together without much thought or cohesion. The song flows, the voice overs the clips which flash by, they are all perfect. Not only is it clips from popular movies there is also the animations from disney or other animations. It’s just all so inclusive because they are all women. They just fit. They are perfectly synced. I got chills.
This is so beautiful and perfectly captures the experience of womanhood 💕
I just wish we had our own planet,maybe in the future,maybe my great great great grandaughters will live in a world where they can be themselves,where they're not scared to go outside or speak up,where they don't have to be quiet and pretty,where they can just live,live peacefully without the thing we call a man today
Why is this so underrated, why so little people see this. Everybody should, women - to feel better and like they are not alone and men - to understand (they probably won't)
Your message was good before your last words
@@dwadawawdawd-t3u sorry, but all the men I have ever known really don't understand. I don't mean everybody are like this, didn't mean to hurt anybody's feelings. This probably isn't true about everyone, just my personal experience and point of view. Sorry, it may not be clear enough
@@dwadawawdawd-t3u do you think women will ever truly understand what being a man is like? if one is not something, it is never truly possible to understand the experience of being that thing
Exactly @mokey9195
I understood you perfectly - men have NO idea as nice as they try to understand. @@ameliajagielska
Girls… I’m so grateful that you find the strength to talk about these feelings.. feelings I have too in myself as I struggle to understand what does it mean to live a life as a woman… so grateful to all of you. and so proud 🙏🏼
I love the different varieties of women in this video. Different races, styles, times, ages, themes, it’s beautiful.
This touched me in a piece of my heart that’s never been touched.
i wish i could listen to that barbie speech for the first time again, i felt so understood
I'm a man, but I have sisters and while I can never truly understand what women go through, but seeing what they go through is enough just to realise that gender inequality is real, and its way more prominent than men realise, if you truly look, you'll see it everywhere
That enough makes you a lot smarter than most men
As a stranger, I wish you lots of happiness
You are a wise man and a good brother for not closing your eyes from the reality of our world. I wish you and your sisters a happy and successful life and that it'll get better for all of us
MITSKI!? I KNEW THIS WAS GONNA BE A BANGER!!!!! Amazing work ! 💕🐞❤️
OMG I GOT HIGHLIGHTED! YAYYY!!!!
this is going to blow up
It better
I’m 13 and still relate to this. Think about that
4:22 is such a cool little clip. everything we do is watched by men. our whole livelihood is attached to what men in power think of us. we’re constantly performing. i’m 22 and i’ve been un-learning the urge to try to get men to like me or be impressed by me. every day is a performance. we live to be looked at- men do not.
That Midsommar crying scene was so therapeutic to me idk why oh my god
I actually cried while watching Barbie and the boyfriend of my mother seriously said after the film ended : “Well, it was pretty boring I thought it would be a comedy film”
it’s the way the movie on a deeper level is suppose to be towards mothers, connecting with your childhood and the beauty of humanity and some how a mother didn’t understand it like a bunch of teenage girls did
If you see this, I love you. I share your pain, I lend my strength. You contain multitudes regardless of how you’ve been treated. My tears run with yours. You are, and I love you for that.
Right back at you, baby.
Thank you.
I'm deeply sorry to all the women out there who have to suffer for men's wrongs and being treated wrongly by men. All women are an ultimate human being far beyond what is trajected in our awfully built society. As a man who has a pool of empathy, this short film really gave me insight as to who women are, what a woman is, the good, the bad, and the ugly of all of being a woman. Thank you, truthfully....
Thank you, for being willing to actually listen.
This is why I don’t understand when people say the barbie speech is bad because when I heard it for the first time I fought back tears SO hard because it wasn’t complex with hidden meanings or anything, it was the truth and it was so perfectly explained.
I cried watching this. The amount I could relate to us scary. I hate having to be perfect for my family. The stress, the standards. All to be some perfect little puppet to be thrown away when the son is born but giving them all the responsibility and stress. Neglect, ignoring me when I wanna talk about interests. It never ends. I'll never be good enough.
That's it. Beautiful, stunning and truthful work.
im sobbing now i can relate to this so much
I’m a bloke behind enemy lines. I have patches where I’m down - normally self induced from my erratic student life style and during these I think about how I took for granted the better times. As guys, we go through our own battles but they don’t really compare & are mostly due to us not treating each other with the same level of love that you all do. The thought of having hormonal swings routinely pre-planned is heartbreaking & I genuinely feel for you all. Stay lovely & strong & kind for one another
I understand all coments about the sense of video, but I wanted to say about the video... It's such a fascinating work... It took all my attention, I was really impressed. It's a wonderful work, thank you ❤
this is incredible wow. sobbing
to be a woman is truly special. thank you for all the entire woman.. here, and in this whole world, y'all are awesome, dazzling and really beautiful.
It’s hard. Womanhood is the biggest challenge a girl can face. Whether you were born a woman, or born knowing you’re a woman, or born with anything in relation to feeling feminine. You just know. You know how hard it is. You know how we feel every single day.
To everyone in this comment section,
You are someone’s inspiration. Which means you don’t follow up to anyone’s expectations but the ones you’ve learned and made for yourself.
You are so beautiful.
Beautiful words, thank you🥰🥰
@@TomGhoulerie of course :)
this made me cry ilysm thank you for saying this💓
Ok guys I think I shed a few tears…
I feel so incredibly understood this very moment!🌟
THIS MADE MY WHOLE FREAKING NIGHT I SHARED ALL OVER SOCIAL MEDIA THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I had shivers running down my spine. To be a Woman is to be perfect, But no one is perfect.
The barbie speech had me sobbing in the cinema omg
Да, это именно то, что я чувствую, будучи женщиной. Слишком много ожиданий от общества. Я всегда словно не принадлежу себе.
❤
Вы очень достойны восхищения, и иметь смелость говорить о своих антипатиях, меня поражает, насколько сильны некоторые люди.
I'm crying. I'm a man.
Thank you
From a purely statistical point of view, needing to be the best at something in order to gain a sense of identity is insanity... ...and yet that's what I strive for and how I've pushed myself to accomplish so much.
Putting on makeup through tears of deep devastation, or rage. Knowing I need to stop crying because I have to get to the bus stop or to work and no one likes an emotional woman.
Or based on the practice that no one deserves my tears. I used to hold my trauma so close to my chest and literally protect it. I’ve stopped that and I’m never going back.
Isn’t it funny how this video, about women, clearly depicting our experiences in this patriarchal world, is enough to threaten men (derogatory) and send them into the comment section to defend their gender, even when they weren’t mentioned once? all we do is exist really
sobbing at 12 am because finally, i feel HEARD.
i dont think a youtube video has ever made me cry even once but
Frr :(
I don't know why this brought up a memory in me - but it did. I remember once, in first grade, I made flags that said "Girls Rule!" for some of my classmates. I worked hard on them all night, and gave them to several of my friends the next school day. A few hours later they were all ripped to shreds and put in the trash bin. I remember being devastated that day, because I had worked hard on those and loved the message. And they ended up trashed and forgotten. A boy took one of them and scribbled over the word "girls" and wrote "boys". That little flag got hung up in the classroom. Another boy came the next day with flags that said "girls suck" and gave them to everyone. I haven't thought of this in years, but thinking about it now just reminds me of how even the simplest things that women try to do for themselves end up being twisted into the exact opposite of what was originally intended.
That’s awful
im so sorry this happened
"Well men have those problems too." This is about us.
Likewise. I see it the other way around
men need to understand that feminism isn’t “i hate men! get rid of men!”, its for equal rights, for every. single. person, any gender, any race, any religion. EQUAL RIGHTS
I don’t get the other men in the comments. This isn’t attacking us? In what way is this hurting you? If you somehow feel attacked by someone speaking about how they feel or hard truths, you’re the problem.
thank you vro
I applaud you my guy you’re a real man!!
What I've learned from similar videos about men and ones like these about women is that we all suffer. The root of the pain may be vastly different, but it's all in an attempt to please society's norms. No man has the right to say that being a woman isn't hard, but no woman has the right to say that being a man isn't hard. Because you have no idea what It's like it be the other. We all struggle, we all suffer, and we all feel pain. It's impossible to be a woman, but it's also impossible to be a man, yet we all find a way. I'm proud of everyone who sees this, and I hope you can be proud of the others around you, too. Man or woman, everyone is living lives of desperation.
Just the comment I was looking for. Happy you formulated it so well.
Very well said. I like those types of videos but hate to see people bring other gender down just because life is hard to them. Life is hard for us all, just in different ways. Why is that so hard to accept for some people?
Beautifully said. You have a heart of gold
I know right like its not a man or woman thing its just the cons that come with being a human living in a society 😂
Right. The patriarchy harms everyone at the end of the day.