Thank you for everything. Sincerely and genuinely. I wouldn’t say im anywhere near a healing stage, but this video got me a little closer. I’m struggling, but I am here.
What you said about giving a thousand percent and then bamn!! they just discard you and youre now left wondering what your reality is. It’s insane how people can do that.
I reached out to you some months ago and I was in a very dark place talking about my ex living her best life with her new man it seems, and you made me a video, you also made a video for me a few years ago called why does the new supply get everything, and then I even spoke with you on the air on one of you're podcasts, which was very encouraging. I want to say that I'm omg finally in a place where I'm so truly happy and have slowly stopped watching narcissistic videos because I realize they tend to make me have awful nightmares of sitting uncomfortably by myself with my ex and her family and all of them talking and just ignoring me... so I stopped watching such vivid videos on Narcissism but instead casually watch videos like this very one from you that makes me feel stronger to move forward. And I'm getting so much better at my truck driving job and truly excelling at it, my physical health is improving, and my happiness and positive outlook has improved so much! I now have an ignited passion for developing fashion jeans and t shirts with my local seamstress I draw up the concepts and buy the jeans, shirts and materials and then she brings it to life, and I never thought it would ever be possible but there are women who are showing interest and asking me out for dinner and coffee.. lol I'm not sending any signals I just go out by myself and put my best self forward to be happy and women ask me my name and ask for my number! My ex used to make me feel so ugly and not worth anything but I was skinnier and in better shape back then when I was with her, but I'm heavier nowadays but yet women show me even more attention now! I no longer care what my ex does or achieves, because I know her character is selfish and opportunistic of anyone who crosses her path or thinks she can love them equally fair. I just know that I'm like a pheonix that has risen from the ashes and am doing my best to do right by God and show that I'm a loving person with my actions.
Chris thanks so much for sharing this! That right there is what I LOVE to see! When people take their lives back and start to see improvements in multiple areas of their life. The amazing part is I think we all go through that head space where we just think NOTHING will ever get better. I'm so glad to see/hear that you are doing better and I'm grateful to have been a help in your journey/process!
Who would have ever thought a little RUclips channel in the high desert of California (middle of nowhere) could have ANY impact on someone's life! Please make sure you drop me a line from time to time to share the success! LOVE hearing them!
Hi Duane, long time! I’ve not checked in for quite some time as cut loose and began living again. Had a number of no caller ID’s recently - I blocked the thing but just knew it was him trying to get through. I haven’t responded and up until the calls I was content, happy and good things were happening! It does mess your head. You begin thinking about them and mood swings return. I’ve clearly checked in at the right time; this is the first (and best guys) stop on YT that hits the spot. Thank you for being such an amazing constant. I will not be returning to the thing and the pain. Needed this today! Really hope you’re doing well and continuing to thrive? Peace. All the best from A 😊
I’m lucky I got out in four months, he focused on getting as much info out then when he thought he had me it was interesting no conversation, didn’t try to share or get to know me. I caught the big lies confronted, he raged, then the devaluation, invalidating, gaslighting, future faking, jealousy. Then it was I’m working out too much, no makeup, stop dressing nice. Competitive about everything?! Older man acting like a thirteen year old. I went no contact and blocked. Thank the Lord. But so sick of these toxic people.
Hey Duane, thanks again for stopping by Angie's channel for the livestream. If it wasn't yet made obvious- Cimorene 1969 is my wife, also a channel mod (who was also there with you in the livestream!), and I don't currently have problems with toxic exes. But what still sticks in my craw- my narcissistic mother. So my situation is rather different. But yeah, the damage lingers even though my marriage is pretty dang solid. My narc mom made Cimmy the scapegoat, and it's like.. I blink twice, another livestream, and Mom has created another horror story.
Thanks so much jak! I don’t get to catch many of Angie’s shows and we probably haven’t spoken for a couple of years. She’s great though and it was nice to catch one of her streams. Yeah parents can do us A LOT of damage. Took me years to really figure that out myself. Hopefully you’ve been able to set some solid boundaries with your mom. Unfortunately narcissists don’t respond well to boundaries though…
Thanks for all the great work you do Duane. Your helping a lot of people out there keep up the good work my friend. Great content and very informative. Greetings from the land of down under.
Thanks so much Bill! I really appreciate the support and kind words. If it wasn't for that feedback I wouldn't still be doing this! Hope things are going well on your side of the planet!
I am 4 years out of a 22 year relationship and still ruminating way way more than I want or need to. This is so difficult to get through - so tough to even believe someone could be so messed up and manipulative as my ex. I’m in a new 3 year relationship and just feel stuck - just not sure I ever want to open up and completely trust or be vulnerable again or even want to be in a relationship. My ew partner keeps telling me how wonderful I am and that I am the one - this scares me so much! . Everything seems to remind me of my past relationship. How do you even move in with a new relationship - any wise words of wisdom out there?
I'm a little over 3 years out of a 14-year relationship. I have recently tried to date, it did not go very well.I can't imagine right now how I could ever be comfortable again.I don't trust anyone not even myself.
Isn't it amazing when you find it and experience it??? I know there is always stress in life but I think most people add "extra" (unnecessary) drama into their lives!
Hi after 4 yrs being divorced from a 30yr marriage. Ive had no contact with him. Yet i still feel less,unworthy. Ive realised this is because its my mother who started this as a child. I can pinpoint the exact moment she got her claws into meagain after I left my home at 19 and retuned 13 yrs later. . I was 32 when my husband and first child moved back to my hometown. I spent 10yrs in the Australian Army. Where I met my Ex husband. We moved back home 2 mins from my parents home. At 19 all I wanted to do was get out of here. So i joined the Army. When we moved back my mother was my constant. Although my Ex husband did have narssistic behaviors. It has been the constant having my mother in my life. She still belittles me. Stilll puts me down,even when I bought my own home 2 yrs after the divorce. My dad passed 7 yrs ago. She wouldnt be so intense with my dad around,but since his death its been horriable. . Although i limit my contact with her,why do i feel so guilty not seeing her more than once aweek. I at times before I go to see her I will have a few wines or take excess percription medication,because it numbs the impact of her tongue. Or her nasty comments,or hounding me of what my marriage was like with him,or my Sons how i raised them. Both are now adults. Iam now half way thru my councling cse,Iam 57yrs and starting my life over again. She hates that,she has never given me any credit for my achievements past or present. Ive had so much councling,once a counclor asked me how i was loved as a child,,,,I said from a distance. I have no relationship with my older sister. My mother has always created this triangle realationship with my sister. How do you keep going. I suffer from depression,i absolutely hate seeing her,I get anxious going to visit her. After 4 yrs on my own with no relationship with a man, I dont think I ever will again while ever she is alive. She says constantly...You dont need a man,be on your own like me.!! Ive realised now the emotional abuse started as a child, unknowing and constantly blaming my Ex that infact alot came from my mother. After Dad died,mum went rogue. There are moments she would give me crumbs, Then I feel ok. But next minute she will send me a message and she goes again. She even said I had Bi polar. That I imagine all this. Her and my sister would make remarks about my wieght,hair even one time I wore dangle earings,she monked me and laughed. Anything that goes wrong,she laughs. I have been diagnosed depression and anxiety. My Ex remarried 5 weeks ago. He was with her before our marriage ended. Even when he cheated a number of times during the marrage I had no support from her. It was my fault. I went on a date a few months back. Mum said to me....If you behave he might invite you out again. I think I need a good councilor here in Australia, But what type of counclor to help me unpack all this turmoil.??
What i would say Duane is therapy can be worthwile ,but unfortunatly a lot of therapists arn't trained to deal with personanilty disorders esp of the cluster B.
That is a true statement. It is getting better but you have to realize you’re “shopping” for a therapist and if they are helping you have to find someone else
It's really tough Adam! Check out the absolute thinking video I mention in this video and if you're really struggling I say seriously consider those hypnosis files. Once you start really working on this it will take about a month (typically) for you to start to see some (small) improvements. But when you start to SEE a change it starts to build on itself because you start to believe things can get better.
@@DSD Thank you for this. It took me a long time after the break-up to realize that I was dealing with an unhealthy individual. While you are trying to improve and build upon the quality of your own life, they focus their time and attention trying to get revenue, trying to provoke and/or incite jealously. These people never change. If anything, they just revert back to who they've always been.
@@adamoart211 it's amazing, how my brain wants to minimize the abuse. It's been quite a while for me and things have gotten better but still if I start to relax about how bad it was my head starts doing some really stupid s***
@@adamoart211 it's amazing, how my brain wants to minimize the abuse. It's been quite a while for me and things have gotten better but still if I start to relax about how bad it was my head starts doing some really stupid s***
Over 30 yrs ago, thankfully I came across some one who was one helluva dynamic healer who helped me cut the psychic cords and related emotional stuff with a then, recent ,former, beloved one, who'd cheated in the relationship the entire time and I didn't know it, until near the end of the so called 'relationship'. a total narcissist as well . I was & AM soo grateful to cut that BS loose. I wouldnt stand for that Kah kha now or shortly there after some 30 yrs ago, for 2 minutes and thats for real !! I would not stand for it. the moment these cords werecut and I got cleared of a tonof 'old stuff' by this healer.... the whole sha-bang went right out of the window.I still do clearings with this Healer. I say I've gotta shovel, they've gotta Bulldozer !!
Only if you've healed from this otherwise you've just masked the situation and it will bite you later. I technically had that happen to me. I got into a new relationship, everything was going great, and I thought I was healed and past it all... THEN the ex found out and called Child Support Services on me and the IRS was coming after me about head of house issues. All those things that I had pushed away came crashing back down on me and it was like it was day one. NOW though, after healing from all of this she hasn't been able to do anything to suck me back into the trauma...
The mind really is the battlefield.
Thank you for everything. Sincerely and genuinely. I wouldn’t say im anywhere near a healing stage, but this video got me a little closer. I’m struggling, but I am here.
I feel the same way. Like I’m no where near close to healing but I soo much want to. Hope you’re doing ok, much love
What you said about giving a thousand percent and then bamn!! they just discard you and youre now left wondering what your reality is. It’s insane how people can do that.
It’s cruel but when they only care about themselves and are self absorbed it isn’t surprising
They cast you aside and then they twist the screwdriver they left in your back!
Yeah that is a good way to describe it!
well said!
yeah, they put their arm around you and tell you they love you. and in the same moment they are stabbing you in the back.
4 years removed and your advice still helps. Thank you for all you do Duane!!
Glad to hear it's helping you Grey! Hope you've gotten *most* of your life back!
I reached out to you some months ago and I was in a very dark place talking about my ex living her best life with her new man it seems, and you made me a video, you also made a video for me a few years ago called why does the new supply get everything, and then I even spoke with you on the air on one of you're podcasts, which was very encouraging. I want to say that I'm omg finally in a place where I'm so truly happy and have slowly stopped watching narcissistic videos because I realize they tend to make me have awful nightmares of sitting uncomfortably by myself with my ex and her family and all of them talking and just ignoring me... so I stopped watching such vivid videos on Narcissism but instead casually watch videos like this very one from you that makes me feel stronger to move forward. And I'm getting so much better at my truck driving job and truly excelling at it, my physical health is improving, and my happiness and positive outlook has improved so much! I now have an ignited passion for developing fashion jeans and t shirts with my local seamstress I draw up the concepts and buy the jeans, shirts and materials and then she brings it to life, and I never thought it would ever be possible but there are women who are showing interest and asking me out for dinner and coffee.. lol I'm not sending any signals I just go out by myself and put my best self forward to be happy and women ask me my name and ask for my number! My ex used to make me feel so ugly and not worth anything but I was skinnier and in better shape back then when I was with her, but I'm heavier nowadays but yet women show me even more attention now! I no longer care what my ex does or achieves, because I know her character is selfish and opportunistic of anyone who crosses her path or thinks she can love them equally fair. I just know that I'm like a pheonix that has risen from the ashes and am doing my best to do right by God and show that I'm a loving person with my actions.
Chris thanks so much for sharing this! That right there is what I LOVE to see! When people take their lives back and start to see improvements in multiple areas of their life. The amazing part is I think we all go through that head space where we just think NOTHING will ever get better. I'm so glad to see/hear that you are doing better and I'm grateful to have been a help in your journey/process!
@@DSD yes you truly have been such a wonderful gift to my healing journey thank you so much for doing that for me :)
Who would have ever thought a little RUclips channel in the high desert of California (middle of nowhere) could have ANY impact on someone's life! Please make sure you drop me a line from time to time to share the success! LOVE hearing them!
@@DSDyou definitely have my word I will! :)
Trauma bonding 101. Not even the F-35 fighter jet hoover is going to suck me back in the vortex. Thanks Duane!
LOL outstanding Filip!!! Love the analogy! 🛩
They have a great memory and remember everything that you say about yourself and use it when they need it.
Hi Duane, long time! I’ve not checked in for quite some time as cut loose and began living again. Had a number of no caller ID’s recently - I blocked the thing but just knew it was him trying to get through. I haven’t responded and up until the calls I was content, happy and good things were happening! It does mess your head. You begin thinking about them and mood swings return. I’ve clearly checked in at the right time; this is the first (and best guys) stop on YT that hits the spot.
Thank you for being such an amazing constant. I will not be returning to the thing and the pain. Needed this today! Really hope you’re doing well and continuing to thrive? Peace. All the best from A 😊
I’m lucky I got out in four months, he focused on getting as much info out then when he thought he had me it was interesting no conversation, didn’t try to share or get to know me. I caught the big lies confronted, he raged, then the devaluation, invalidating, gaslighting, future faking, jealousy. Then it was I’m working out too much, no makeup, stop dressing nice. Competitive about everything?! Older man acting like a thirteen year old. I went no contact and blocked. Thank the Lord. But so sick of these toxic people.
Hey Duane, thanks again for stopping by Angie's channel for the livestream.
If it wasn't yet made obvious- Cimorene 1969 is my wife, also a channel mod (who was also there with you in the livestream!), and I don't currently have problems with toxic exes. But what still sticks in my craw- my narcissistic mother. So my situation is rather different. But yeah, the damage lingers even though my marriage is pretty dang solid. My narc mom made Cimmy the scapegoat, and it's like.. I blink twice, another livestream, and Mom has created another horror story.
Thanks so much jak! I don’t get to catch many of Angie’s shows and we probably haven’t spoken for a couple of years. She’s great though and it was nice to catch one of her streams.
Yeah parents can do us A LOT of damage. Took me years to really figure that out myself. Hopefully you’ve been able to set some solid boundaries with your mom. Unfortunately narcissists don’t respond well to boundaries though…
Personally I wake up in the middle of the night strangling my spare pillow … lol 😂
I do not miss those nightmares!
Thanks for all the great work you do Duane. Your helping a lot of people out there keep up the good work my friend. Great content and very informative. Greetings from the land of down under.
Thanks so much Bill! I really appreciate the support and kind words. If it wasn't for that feedback I wouldn't still be doing this! Hope things are going well on your side of the planet!
I am 4 years out of a 22 year relationship and still ruminating way way more than I want or need to. This is so difficult to get through - so tough to even believe someone could be so messed up and manipulative as my ex. I’m in a new 3 year relationship and just feel stuck - just not sure I ever want to open up and completely trust or be vulnerable again or even want to be in a relationship. My ew partner keeps telling me how wonderful I am and that I am the one - this scares me so much! . Everything seems to remind me of my past relationship. How do you even move in with a new relationship - any wise words of wisdom out there?
I'm a little over 3 years out of a 14-year relationship. I have recently tried to date, it did not go very well.I can't imagine right now how I could ever be comfortable again.I don't trust anyone not even myself.
I am the same like you. Don't mess with my peace. Can't stand loud people.. thanks again for your help / the Video.
Isn't it amazing when you find it and experience it??? I know there is always stress in life but I think most people add "extra" (unnecessary) drama into their lives!
It’s like the old saying she’s never yours it’s just your turn
Hi after 4 yrs being divorced from a 30yr marriage. Ive had no contact with him. Yet i still feel less,unworthy. Ive realised this is because its my mother who started this as a child. I can pinpoint the exact moment she got her claws into meagain after I left my home at 19 and retuned 13 yrs later. . I was 32 when my husband and first child moved back to my hometown. I spent 10yrs in the Australian Army. Where I met my Ex husband. We moved back home 2 mins from my parents home. At 19 all I wanted to do was get out of here. So i joined the Army. When we moved back my mother was my constant. Although my Ex husband did have narssistic behaviors. It has been the constant having my mother in my life. She still belittles me. Stilll puts me down,even when I bought my own home 2 yrs after the divorce. My dad passed 7 yrs ago. She wouldnt be so intense with my dad around,but since his death its been horriable. . Although i limit my contact with her,why do i feel so guilty not seeing her more than once aweek. I at times before I go to see her I will have a few wines or take excess percription medication,because it numbs the impact of her tongue. Or her nasty comments,or hounding me of what my marriage was like with him,or my Sons how i raised them. Both are now adults. Iam now half way thru my councling cse,Iam 57yrs and starting my life over again. She hates that,she has never given me any credit for my achievements past or present. Ive had so much councling,once a counclor asked me how i was loved as a child,,,,I said from a distance. I have no relationship with my older sister. My mother has always created this triangle realationship with my sister.
How do you keep going. I suffer from depression,i absolutely hate seeing her,I get anxious going to visit her. After 4 yrs on my own with no relationship with a man, I dont think I ever will again while ever she is alive. She says constantly...You dont need a man,be on your own like me.!!
Ive realised now the emotional abuse started as a child, unknowing and constantly blaming my Ex that infact alot came from my mother. After Dad died,mum went rogue. There are moments she would give me crumbs, Then I feel ok. But next minute she will send me a message and she goes again. She even said I had Bi polar. That I imagine all this. Her and my sister would make remarks about my wieght,hair even one time I wore dangle earings,she monked me and laughed. Anything that goes wrong,she laughs. I have been diagnosed depression and anxiety. My Ex remarried 5 weeks ago. He was with her before our marriage ended. Even when he cheated a number of times during the marrage I had no support from her. It was my fault. I went on a date a few months back. Mum said to me....If you behave he might invite you out again.
I think I need a good councilor here in Australia, But what type of counclor to help me unpack all this turmoil.??
What i would say Duane is therapy can be worthwile ,but unfortunatly a lot of therapists arn't trained to deal with personanilty disorders esp of the cluster B.
That is a true statement. It is getting better but you have to realize you’re “shopping” for a therapist and if they are helping you have to find someone else
Great video. I've been thinking about my toxic ex a lot lately. I don't like these intrusive thoughts.
It's really tough Adam! Check out the absolute thinking video I mention in this video and if you're really struggling I say seriously consider those hypnosis files. Once you start really working on this it will take about a month (typically) for you to start to see some (small) improvements. But when you start to SEE a change it starts to build on itself because you start to believe things can get better.
@@DSD Thank you for this. It took me a long time after the break-up to realize that I was dealing with an unhealthy individual. While you are trying to improve and build upon the quality of your own life, they focus their time and attention trying to get revenue, trying to provoke and/or incite jealously. These people never change. If anything, they just revert back to who they've always been.
@@adamoart211 it's amazing, how my brain wants to minimize the abuse. It's been quite a while for me and things have gotten better but still if I start to relax about how bad it was my head starts doing some really stupid s***
@@adamoart211 it's amazing, how my brain wants to minimize the abuse. It's been quite a while for me and things have gotten better but still if I start to relax about how bad it was my head starts doing some really stupid s***
Over 30 yrs ago, thankfully I came across some one who was one helluva dynamic healer who helped me cut the psychic cords and related emotional stuff with a then, recent ,former, beloved one, who'd cheated in the relationship the entire time and I didn't know it, until near the end of the so called 'relationship'. a total narcissist as well . I was & AM soo grateful to cut that BS loose. I wouldnt stand for that Kah kha now or shortly there after some 30 yrs ago, for 2 minutes and thats for real !! I would not stand for it. the moment these cords werecut and I got cleared of a tonof 'old stuff' by this healer.... the whole sha-bang went right out of the window.I still do clearings with this Healer. I say I've gotta shovel, they've gotta Bulldozer !!
Lol love that last line!
Spot on!
It’s a really tough position to be in…. Hope you’re doing good Boop! (Like the username by the way!)
Thank you ❤️💯
You’re welcome 😊
Has anyone talked to him in the last few days? He has been sick and I am getting worried about him.
The best solution is to get into a another new sweet relationship as quickly as possible and bury the old sick crap.
Only if you've healed from this otherwise you've just masked the situation and it will bite you later. I technically had that happen to me. I got into a new relationship, everything was going great, and I thought I was healed and past it all... THEN the ex found out and called Child Support Services on me and the IRS was coming after me about head of house issues. All those things that I had pushed away came crashing back down on me and it was like it was day one. NOW though, after healing from all of this she hasn't been able to do anything to suck me back into the trauma...