*NEW SUMMER 2024* I now offer self-guided *online courses* to help women of ANY age and experience level CRUSH those single streets FASTER and more efficiently! 🙂 Check out my course offerings here 👉 www.boyfriendblueprint.com/courses
insecure, too available, inauthentic, not leaving any mystery, apathetic, idealizing him, selfish, putting him down, moving too fast & not leaning back
Ok. Good advice. Will get right on that. Why are there so many smarta** remarks on here? Dumb. Forget i ever said anything. Getting out of this site too. Best to you all
I was too available for him and he didn't make me a priority. I put him on a pedestal so he took me for granted. I ended up resenting him because he exploited my naivete and love for him. 💔
Dear god, feels like we can't win! 😂 Surely if a genuine guy likes you, he just likes you. How can you "be authentic" if you also have to follow a set of pretty superficial rules? xxx
Here's the problem with playing games: you end up attracting the wrong people. Many people out there play these games and they eventually marry the same people they have been manipulating. Then these same people wonder why their marriage didn't work out. If you are a clingy, shy woman but act like you are aloof and very independent, then this will not end well. You can maintain an act for a short period of time, but it's impossible to do this (unless you are a sociopath) longterm. I know many ladies who have played these exact games and have obtained a man, but I also know many ladies who played these games and were dumped by really good men. The smart men can spot these manipulative behaviors because they know you are not genuine. No one likes to feel they are being tricked. The happiest marriages I know involve people who didn't play games from the beginning. Say what you mean and mean what you say. You would not believe how refreshingly attractive this is. Honesty is the sexiest trait! These women in happy marriages were clingy from the start and talked a lot. The men knew exactly what type of woman they were getting and absolutely adore them. Be yourself in order to attract the right man for you.
So... play games. Play hard to get. But be authentic. And make sure you don’t act uninterested. But make sure you make him work for you. Don’t make him feel too valued, but make sure you make him feel valued. So... just make sure you do a bunch of contradictory things. Got it! If this is really how men think, so glad I’m just fine single and watch these things just for the laughs. Oh, and make sure you’re gorgeous, and then none of the rest of it matters. 🤦♀️
😂😂 no dont put yourself down girl, if he was right for you these things wouldn't put him off. I'm sure you haven't got all of these traits and even if you have thats your personality so wait till you find the right guy for you 😊😊
I wud really like to hear what turns women off! Why is it all about men like we live to impress them but they want to be accepted as they are...we tired
True because if you live your dating life by a list you won't even be able to enjoy yourself or the relationship bc you'll be so fixated on checking the list off. 🤷Been there, done that. and he didn't love me for me so I was miserable.
It’s middle ground. Honestly what I do is let them text me first sometimes, I’ll text them first sometimes, respond to them in a few minutes sometimes take hours to days (this usually is because I have lots of stuff to do), I always act engaged in the convo, make jokes and pay attention. I just switch up my availability with them. And so far it has worked every time
I think it really depends on the personality of a guy. If you know he’s got a shy personality then it might be an exception, but if the average guy stops pursuing you then you probably weren’t a top priority of his. You may have just been someone he was playing with and then he decided it wasn’t worth the effort. If a guy likes you enough he will generally put in the effort.
This sounds like BS. I can’t create anxiety by trying to adhere to all of these rules because that’s a recipe for disaster. Even if you try to follow all of those rules and the relationship takes off and you start being committed with each other he is eventually going to find out who you really are anyway so might as well be your true self from the beginning.
I'm 29 (almost 30) , unmarried, single and diagnosed with aspbergers. These vids are helping me makes sense of it all when it comes to dating. I'm very direct and open when it comes to most things, especially communication and my feelings. That being said ,I haven't been doing nearly anything right. Lol Thank you for this advice, it's truly invaluable.
this new dating game is getting ridiculous; what happened to just being ourselves and doing what feels good and naturally clicking with someone or not? i dont remember having to think about so many rules a few years ago and things were simple,, you let a guy know you like him and he would either accept you or not and move on; now it is like you have to make a million side pirouettes not to scare them away,,, come on,, id rather stay single
Seriously. All of these dating coaches mean well and give good advice. But if I have to dress up every day, and wear kitten heels just to go to the grocery store, then I don't know if dating is worth it. At 33 I just feel tired of all the games, lies, and the fake nice guy act. I don't know how to "dance". It's just easier to be single man. Tired of being overlooked by desirable men and getting the scraps; the men that no woman would date. I'm about to not care.
Real men will accept you for who you really are, they will embrace you with all your flaws (works other way around as well), only little immature boys will be put off by everything on this list.
You can be strong and still be feminine at the same time. My husband says I'm the.most confident and well informed person ( politics, current events, history, etc) he's ever met and yet still gentle and feminine at the same time. Most women think being strong means being a toxic feminist - always angry, easily offended and believing relationship is another war on equality. Feminist rubbish.
People commenting saying everything scares men (which may or may not be true lol) but all of these are obvious and reasonable. I mean ladies, we dont want someone who is completely all over us and suffocating us with their attention either! Be your own person, stop making him your only priority (you should be your own main priority) but show him you're interested in him. There's a fine line between interest and over-affection and its important to learn when pursuing anyone, man or woman.
Most of this is really good. "The bar should always be low." That's a hard one. I have a high bar for myself and someone I would partner with. Also, "convince yourself that everything is ok in the relationship." This is where the crazy making comes in. Our intuition says something is off, but we don't want to scare him away, so we convince ourselves, everything is ok. I just can't.
Dating a woman is not easier, believe me, I dated and had long term relationships with both. I found being with a woman a lot more difficult. Also the rules are totally different in a same sex relationship, a lot more confusing than with men.
I feel like certain guys would actually LIKE the neediness.....maybe the right one would really like it? Idk. All I DO know is that I have to be myself and I am an honest person, so showing my true colors from the initial phase is the only way to do it, if you ask me.
I'm super bad with the constant communication. I am an overthinker and not getting texts back or getting left on read makes me super anxious or that he's talking to other women.
same also every time see him online for many hours it's a a big question to me, but I'm trying to find it out his denying it. trying to use my intuition but cannot give an answers.
@@marjoriea9079 I had a mini anxiety attack last night cause my brain kept telling me he hates me and is just playing me. My gut says he isn't though....at least not intentionally. It sucksssss
@@marjoriea9079 Well not really. He can go days without so much a text. I'm usually the one initiating contact so I'm backing off to see if he actually take the initiative like he did in the beginning.
Just not too soon. Timing is really important. Exchanging feelings with a man is kind of like a dance in the beginning. Unless you know 100% that he feels the same way you do, it's best to let him lead 😉
Ryan Patrick I mean feelings are pretty deep. We’ve been friends for like 3 months and I’ve been interested in more than just being friends for a month now. We’ve hung out outside of class related things and we’re going on winter break in 2 weeks. Winter break is a month long. Idk if I should tell him that I’m interested more than just being friends before the break
@@nigerianprincess777 Does your gut tell you that he feels the same way about you? I know that can be a tough question to answer, but what does your gut tell you? "Friends first" is how the best romantic relationships start, in my opinion. That's how my wife and I started. So during winter break, I'd just focus on having a really good time with him and hang out. When you're with him, look at his pupils in his eyes. Are they wide and dilated? If so, that's a very strong sign he's attracted to you. Also, check out this body language video I did called "Does He Like Me Or Is He Just Being Nice" here if you haven't already ----> ruclips.net/video/UKFc7Lujhx8/видео.html If you see more of these signs he likes you, then toward the end of winter break, sure, I'd let him know how you feel! Hope that helps 🙂
Yeah after watching this I'm glad to be single. Some of these are legit, like not being insecure or selfish. BUT all the stuff about not seeming busy or mysterious... it's all game playing as far as I'm concerned and I don't dig it. I wanna be available if I like you. I want to tell you all about me if it feels right. And if I have to constantly hold back on what seems right in order to play a game, I don't want any part of it.
These seem contradictory, but they’re not. I’ve done just about all of these things. I’ve realized revealing too much too soon is an anxiety response in me, and I’m just trying to speed up intimacy to get that feeling of connection.
Same. It happens to me all the time because I am too nice and think of men responding like I would. The reality is that men love to chase and it’s been hard to allow myself to be a little distant.
Literally went on a date with a guy who said he was “fart positive” and farted continuously (and audibly) throughout the date in an effort to “normalize” it. Never talked to him again. 😂
Oh, definitely gotta have an argument or debate from time to time, otherwise, that's TOO good of a relationship and that's fishy. I am Aquarius, and if you know us Aquarians, we do not like to hold back when we have somethin' to say. If my boyfriend is being an arse hole, I am quick to confront that sh*& immediately. I cannot hold back what I'm thinking and I don't mince words, but, as he is a Taurus, that boy ain't ashamed to holla back at me the same way when I do bit*&y sh*& to him. So... LOL And they say Aquarius n Taurus are the two MOST stubborn of the zodiac. Astrologers say Aqua and the Bull are no match, but I've been with my stubborn bull for 8 months and we argue incessantly. LOL So, must mean we really love each other. He teases me a lot, and I know he's joking, but sometimes it makes me wanna fart in his Wheaties, because I hate being teased. But, we argue because we're stubborn and have to get our points out there. But once resolved, we're inseparable. It's weird. My younger brother is a Taurus and we HATE each other. We don't even speak. So, that's a sibling... But dating one? WHEW I've got my hands full, mate! Advice from this Aquarius woman: NEVER BE AFRAID TO SPEAK UP IF HE'S BEING A JERK. IF HE COMES BACK, AND WORKS THINGS OUT WITH YOU, EVEN THO YOU HAD TO BE A BI*&CH TO HIM, THEN HE'S YOURS. NEVER CHASE. and... Taurus men are tough. LOL And, Aquarius LOVES a good debate, so bring it on. Hahaha
I get drunk with 1 glass of wine ( Thanks to Asian blood). Who knows what I say depends on what kind of alcohol it is. I just brew my first date. I wasn't myself because I was off my head with terrible wine. I have enough dates but this one was someone I really liked and felt connected... so it sucks!
Is the neediness one really such a bad thing?? I mean, if a woman gets attached really quickly and gets needy and gains feelings soon....is that truly THAT bad?? Just be honest with me on this one.
Guess I'm guilty of a few of these, but not too much. Maybe he should be honest and upfront in the beginning. Men these days are harder to get close too, anyone can have sex, but what about men treating women with respect and honesty, that might be a first
girls say and do what we want. Some more than others . Why cant men do that instead of mind games . It’s exhausting thinking of the relationship as playing hard to get
My ex tried to move in with me on the second day so its not just women that do that he was a "man" with very boyish ways about him 3 years older than me but he acted like he was way younger
Ryan, it gets tricky because how do you know if you're right in feeling something or if you're "behaving badly"? For example, this guy I had started seeing for 6 weeks suddenly stopped giving me any news for a full week. Then when I asked him on the Saturday night what he was up to tonight? He replied "going to a small get together". Didn't even invite me, or ask what I was up to, or anything. So I sent him a text basically telling him his behavior was unacceptable and we would no longer be a thing. So was I the one being too high maintenance, insecure, needy? Or was I right and was he an asshole? I honestly just don't know anymore!
Most of it I agree, but "just keep pretending You are going in the right direction" hit me hard. I spent 6,5 years in a dating relationship convincing myself it was going the right direction, only to realize it will never be anything more... be careful with this, and remember communication is key, I didnt do it, now i am sorry.
I made a lot of mistakes when I first started dating, mostly because we didn't know how. When I met my husband, I totally overshared in the first month. But, guess what, he liked it, because I made him share at the same time and nobody had really been that interested in him before. So not everything is cast in stone.
It’s hard for me to be myself and just let things go as they will without fearing how things will turn out. I have CPTSD and I am used to being around narcissistic people. Whenever I am around “normal” guys, I always expect them to judge me on everything and I expect them to leave.
Interesting list of dos and don’ts. So...act interested but not too interested. Be unavailable but not too unavailable. Be self-sufficient and don’t glomm on to him. Don’t idolize him. But let him know you’re still focused. Quite the balancing act. None of us is perfect but occasionally someone actually loves us “just the way we are”. Of course, if he comes on too strong and puts us up on a pedestal, run!!!! 😂
what if he moves too fast into the relationship, then he assumes i'm supposed to putting up with him ghosting me sometimes?i didn't expect for this to happen
Thank you Ryan, very nice. The only thing I’m guilty of is too much availability. I used to be in the right track by not giving in when he asked me out short notice. I found a job on weekends and he ask me not to accept it because he wants me with him. I think that’s when our relationship fell apart. I noticed that his text became shorter and it took him hours to text me back an emoji or 2 words endearment. Sometimes I ask him how was his day was and never answer. And never explain or apologize about it. Staying with him in his place on weekends we’re getting shorter. After 2 and a half months, I just sent him a text with a simple “goodbye “. I was done with him.
Hey Ryan thanks to all your videos I’ve watched I’ve finally learned so much this new guy I’ve met I’ve been different taken all your advice this time and he’s definitely more attentive and the fact he wants to he’s put in so much effort and so have I I’m not rushing him I’m taking every day as it comes thank you 🙏🏻 ❤️
Exhausting... 😳. I’m overthinking now that I was flaked on. He called already, but ignored him because it dawned to me how emotionally consuming it is. Being single was so much easier. I was minding my own business and had a good routine going for myself I.e waking up, work, work out, attend friend stuff, and self reflection. This guy comes up to me then kisses me at the club and going on the third date supposed to be today. It was easy for the last two weeks and have been talking to him everyday. The effort is reciprocal when it came to the calling, but damn it is just so damn consuming when it goes south. I want to continue, but it turns me off of how it is making me feel. I have to slow my roll I guess... I genuinely wanted to answer his call as I believe in living not in fear, but in love. Alternatively, I also know I always have to listen to my gut saying he had the entire day to let me know like an adult instead of calling way pass the scheduled time of date. Self value and self respect always has to come first. Clearly the guy didn’t value my time and I have to accept it as it is.
That was perfect!! Exactly the step by step things I need to know. Can you make a video on how to recover from mistakes I made on the first date.( He did pulled away after our first meeting that lasted 1 week together) He still talks to me very little. Every 3days but no more flirting, no sending kisses, no good morning or good night texts. Very flat and cold) it's uncomfortable for me. I feel like he only talks to me in case he had a better option to come around. Thanks Ryan!
Oh my god Ryan!! I should have seen this videos a month ago and i probably would be dating one of the guy i was really interested in backthen. Now its over. One thing i would like to ask you, you mentioned women should NEVER expect too much from a man, especially from the beginning. Well i have high expectation to others because i know i have a lot to give. But it seems like its not always working out this way. Would you please be kind to explain to me what should i do with that? Thank you very much in advance!!
X W I'm the same way and due to it I have been taken advantage of. Now I'm very guarded and Prefer to give or volunteer at my Church where the help is Always appreciated and I won't be taken advantage of.
One very important thing that you do not address. Sex. Once that line is crossed - the game changes. It may not be popular to say that but when a man takes over the body of a woman but still wants "distance" and all of the other things you mention, he is just looking for free access to satisfy his physical needs. For the guys..if you do not want any of these 10 annoying behaviors..keep it in your pants, or in your mouth, until you are ready to accept that sex will change EVERYTHING.
When my ex offered to drive us to go grab a coffee ,i refused him to drive coz i thot he was a bit reckless(fast driving) when it came to driving,hr felt intimidated and left,,lol
I like that you discuss topics quickly. No frills. Thank you. As for me, I was guilty of being available. Always. Its always yes. Apparently that was wrong of me. He 8s now an ex.
I get this video, because almost all he said turns me off if a guy does these things too .. A man with zero confidence 👎🏾👎🏾👎🏾 Or if he's too clingy 👎🏾👎🏾👎🏾 Is rude to a water 👎🏾👎🏾 if he's too crass 👎🏾👎🏾👎🏾 if a man doesn't allow me my space 👎🏾👎🏾👎🏾 if he acts like a clown and is too effeminate 👎🏾👎🏾👎🏾 Women have standards too 💕💕💕
Games games games. "Rules" to keep him interested. Go at HIS pace. Muzzle yourself. Don't be too honest or too forthcoming. Act too busy for him even if you're not. Be inauthentic but don't let HIM know you're being inauthentic. These aren't men, these are little boys.
Well hell, don't be neurodivergent I guess. Mask on 🤦🏻 Look some of these tips are solid, but not everyone is going to fit a cookie cutter version of the person you've described. You can't change everything about yourself and still be 'authentic'. It's a nice idea but it's not how life works for everyone. I personally like your texting videos much better.
I apologize in advance for commenting on all your videos, but I have to agree with you on most of these things. I think I’ve made all these mistakes at least once😅😅😅😅really does explain a lot. Also lol@the people criticizing this video. The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off😂
Omfg!! I’ve done basically all of these!! No wonder why I’m single and can’t get past the 1st date 😂😂 thanks for this video! The last one has been my biggest problem in my last 2 big situationships where I fell for the guys and why we didn’t up dating. They felt pressured because I was too much in my masculine energy instead of my feminine energy and both blew up in my face and left me heart broken
Basically be aloof, unavailable, don't be too nice, be the cool girl. Reminds me of gone girl, she tried to be the cool girl and he still cheated 🤷♀️ lol
I think these things also depends on the type of men you are dating... If the men makes you feel insecure and brings out the toxic in you, it means your not compatible...
I've been guilty of sharing too much too soon. I'm a pretty transparent person when it comes to feelings. I don't like for people to think I'm hiding anything so I used to have this bad habit of basically vomiting all my personal information within the first couple dates. I scared off somebody I really thought was going to be the one I think I just came off as just too needy or crazy or a little bit of both. I'm currently dating someone and I have really put a lot of my past behaviors in check instead of sending cute texts to manipulate him to call me and set up a date. I have let him take the lead and contact me. It's not even manipulation it's all about letting him guide the pattern of this relationship without being a doormat. If I become irritated with him over something I find ways to communicate it to him without being hostile and critical. We discuss it and then I don't bring it up again. That was another behavior that was really hard to quit. The need to be right and pounds the point home. That also has driven dies away. I'm probably two decades older than you are but I'm still learning and you've given me so many good pointers thank you so much for making your information available and not making me feel like you're trying to just make a quick dime like other relationship coaches on RUclips. You're different and you're a standout
7.) Because I'm sensitive and have been hurt in the past, I'm typically better at expressing deeper feelings through writing than face to face. The artist in me has always been this way. I get scared of showing too much emotion too soon. Last year when my friend helped me with things for my car, my level of appreciation didn't match his level of sense of accomplishment-and he honestly did an amazing job. It takes time for me to get to know someone, trust them, and want to give them praise or encouragement-on the romantic spectrum. But I came off as unappreciative and ungrateful. Even though I never expected him to help me-he always wanted to, til a season of life came when he was going thru a lot. When that time came, he flaked on helping me, and then gave me a hard time when I asked why he gave advice but wasn't willing to actually help fix my car. He said him giving advice was offering help, but he never told me why he flaked. The shop and 2 other friends tried to fix my car and couldn't, so he later finally ca,me and figured out the problem. But if he had simply told me earlier on that he wasn't available to help me during a certain time because he was going thru a lot, then I would've understood. He definitely could've communicated better and things would have been fine, but I got pegged as being a selfish and whiny b**** (he didn't call me one, but said I was acting like one) for getting upset about him not helping me. Stupid.
I asked for in person meeting instead of Zoom. He disappeared. What happened? Was that too demanding or maybe he wants everything easy. iIll never know for sure. I'm reading men want to please us but maybe not.
If you have done any of these uninstentinonally and he blocks you off his fb and dissapers what can you do if anythibg because after all we're all human not perfect including him by all means !?
I'm seeing this guy who is incredibly handsome, intelligent, has an impressive well paying job at at a globally respected company, and is insanely charismatic (everyone wants to be his friend, student body president, everyone has a crush on him type of guy) and I got drunk on date 2 and wouldn't shut up about the most random stupid uninteresting things about me. I thought for sure he would ghost me after that, yet 2 months later we're still talking and hanging out. Doesn't make sense but i'm just living in the moment and enjoying it.
Ryan i'm and introverted person rather laid back so i guess that's why i'm single huh? and when i do approach a guy i find interesting he aint interested in me and i just waste my damn time...
*NEW SUMMER 2024*
I now offer self-guided *online courses* to help women of ANY age and experience level CRUSH those single streets FASTER and more efficiently! 🙂
Check out my course offerings here 👉 www.boyfriendblueprint.com/courses
insecure, too available, inauthentic, not leaving any mystery, apathetic, idealizing him, selfish, putting him down, moving too fast & not leaning back
Look, if a guy likes you, he likes you. End of mystery.
Very true
Yes it's pretty obvious haha
😁😁😁
Like seriously, it's been proven, even if you are needy/desparate looking or behaviour, he just like you period!!guys know what they want 🤷🤷
@@florencezizo Thank you. I met him. I'm 39. I want him so bad. I have to hold back though.
So don’t do anything and never speak to any guy again
Got it
That's what you heard. Wow. Lol
Welp you didn’t get it 😂
It does feel like we have to play games. Not sure it’s worth it lol
Exactly! Why is it all on women??! How about all the BS men put us through?! So.... men don't need this same "training?"
Ok. Good advice. Will get right on that. Why are there so many smarta** remarks on here? Dumb. Forget i ever said anything. Getting out of this site too. Best to you all
Bottom line, get a life of your own then you won't have the time to even remember this list 😆😆😆👍🏽👍🏽
Toni Crawford right ...most of these videos say things that I do anyway without thinking about it
😂😂😂😂
😂
😂😂😂😂
100% Toni!
I was too available for him and he didn't make me a priority. I put him on a pedestal so he took me for granted. I ended up resenting him because he exploited my naivete and love for him. 💔
The same happened to me :(
Yep I did the same.
I'm trying my best to better myself so that it doesn't happen again :)
That happened to me too.
Same!!!! 😖
Dear god, feels like we can't win! 😂 Surely if a genuine guy likes you, he just likes you. How can you "be authentic" if you also have to follow a set of pretty superficial rules? xxx
Aha! *sips latte and just smiles.* This is why I enjoy staying single.
Here's the problem with playing games: you end up attracting the wrong people. Many people out there play these games and they eventually marry the same people they have been manipulating. Then these same people wonder why their marriage didn't work out. If you are a clingy, shy woman but act like you are aloof and very independent, then this will not end well. You can maintain an act for a short period of time, but it's impossible to do this (unless you are a sociopath) longterm. I know many ladies who have played these exact games and have obtained a man, but I also know many ladies who played these games and were dumped by really good men. The smart men can spot these manipulative behaviors because they know you are not genuine. No one likes to feel they are being tricked.
The happiest marriages I know involve people who didn't play games from the beginning. Say what you mean and mean what you say. You would not believe how refreshingly attractive this is. Honesty is the sexiest trait! These women in happy marriages were clingy from the start and talked a lot. The men knew exactly what type of woman they were getting and absolutely adore them. Be yourself in order to attract the right man for you.
Very well said. Its exhausting....all those rules.
I agree with not being too easy but the rest is too much to fake if that's not you.
Absolutely!
I agree!
Best comment!
So... play games. Play hard to get. But be authentic. And make sure you don’t act uninterested. But make sure you make him work for you. Don’t make him feel too valued, but make sure you make him feel valued. So... just make sure you do a bunch of contradictory things. Got it! If this is really how men think, so glad I’m just fine single and watch these things just for the laughs. Oh, and make sure you’re gorgeous, and then none of the rest of it matters. 🤦♀️
5/7 comment! 😂
Lol seriously this is ridiculous
Too much thinking. Gawd... lol. :)
YES!!!!!
Lo lol, heeeee
Damnn these are all me.. maybe thats why im undatable 😂
Myra or the men are.
@@cslcojoco highly possible. Just try to surround yourself with positive people and more will come to you.
Myra me too!
😂😂 no dont put yourself down girl, if he was right for you these things wouldn't put him off. I'm sure you haven't got all of these traits and even if you have thats your personality so wait till you find the right guy for you 😊😊
@@jendelaney5335 I have done all these too. No Iidea I shouldn't be an open book. I was trying hard to be.
I am scared for falling in love with a creature named man
😂 👍
I wud really like to hear what turns women off! Why is it all about men like we live to impress them but they want to be accepted as they are...we tired
Exactly!
Real men don't get scared off by less than perfect behavior. Time to quit giving any attention to guys like this.
🙌🏽
Agree bigtime.
True because if you live your dating life by a list you won't even be able to enjoy yourself or the relationship bc you'll be so fixated on checking the list off. 🤷Been there, done that. and he didn't love me for me so I was miserable.
Absolutely agree 100%, Andrea.
it depends on the guy because I tried to not be available for a guy and then he stopped talking to me.
Agreed
It’s middle ground. Honestly what I do is let them text me first sometimes, I’ll text them first sometimes, respond to them in a few minutes sometimes take hours to days (this usually is because I have lots of stuff to do), I always act engaged in the convo, make jokes and pay attention. I just switch up my availability with them. And so far it has worked every time
I think it really depends on the personality of a guy. If you know he’s got a shy personality then it might be an exception, but if the average guy stops pursuing you then you probably weren’t a top priority of his. You may have just been someone he was playing with and then he decided it wasn’t worth the effort. If a guy likes you enough he will generally put in the effort.
This sounds like BS. I can’t create anxiety by trying to adhere to all of these rules because that’s a recipe for disaster. Even if you try to follow all of those rules and the relationship takes off and you start being committed with each other he is eventually going to find out who you really are anyway so might as well be your true self from the beginning.
True facts
Sounds like whatever you're doing is working. 👋
I'm 29 (almost 30) , unmarried, single and diagnosed with aspbergers. These vids are helping me makes sense of it all when it comes to dating. I'm very direct and open when it comes to most things, especially communication and my feelings. That being said ,I haven't been doing nearly anything right. Lol Thank you for this advice, it's truly invaluable.
Glad you find value in them, Duval! 🙂
I've learned that sticking to your standards and values, being fun and always match his level of interest, no more no less really worked for me
I'm doing that right now. I hope it turns out
this new dating game is getting ridiculous; what happened to just being ourselves and doing what feels good and naturally clicking with someone or not? i dont remember having to think about so many rules a few years ago and things were simple,, you let a guy know you like him and he would either accept you or not and move on; now it is like you have to make a million side pirouettes not to scare them away,,, come on,, id rather stay single
Yes👏🏻
Makes me doubly glad I am single! It seems like relationships are becoming a big game where the rules are always changing.
@@malgorzatawojtys9846 agree with both of you.
Seriously. All of these dating coaches mean well and give good advice. But if I have to dress up every day, and wear kitten heels just to go to the grocery store, then I don't know if dating is worth it. At 33 I just feel tired of all the games, lies, and the fake nice guy act. I don't know how to "dance". It's just easier to be single man. Tired of being overlooked by desirable men and getting the scraps; the men that no woman would date. I'm about to not care.
Real men will accept you for who you really are, they will embrace you with all your flaws (works other way around as well), only little immature boys will be put off by everything on this list.
hmmn being Independent and strong personality are hard for man to handle a woman
You can be strong and still be feminine at the same time. My husband says I'm the.most confident and well informed person ( politics, current events, history, etc) he's ever met and yet still gentle and feminine at the same time. Most women think being strong means being a toxic feminist - always angry, easily offended and believing relationship is another war on equality. Feminist rubbish.
@@darthdrynn8057 for your info every one has an attitude depends how you treat the person!
@@denillearenga7274 men have been handling women sense the dawn of time. Even the "strong and independent" type. Women are just too self entitled.
People commenting saying everything scares men (which may or may not be true lol) but all of these are obvious and reasonable. I mean ladies, we dont want someone who is completely all over us and suffocating us with their attention either! Be your own person, stop making him your only priority (you should be your own main priority) but show him you're interested in him. There's a fine line between interest and over-affection and its important to learn when pursuing anyone, man or woman.
Most of this is really good. "The bar should always be low." That's a hard one. I have a high bar for myself and someone I would partner with. Also, "convince yourself that everything is ok in the relationship." This is where the crazy making comes in. Our intuition says something is off, but we don't want to scare him away, so we convince ourselves, everything is ok. I just can't.
This is all crap advice lmao 🤣 idk what kind of basic ass bro he’s referring to but it’s not a single man I’ve ever met.
Honestly after watching a few of these I think it's time to consider a chick instead! It's "don't knock it till you try it right?"
Me too girl lmao
Same
Dating a woman is not easier, believe me, I dated and had long term relationships with both. I found being with a woman a lot more difficult. Also the rules are totally different in a same sex relationship, a lot more confusing than with men.
I feel like certain guys would actually LIKE the neediness.....maybe the right one would really like it? Idk. All I DO know is that I have to be myself and I am an honest person, so showing my true colors from the initial phase is the only way to do it, if you ask me.
If a guy likes you that much there's no need of having rules to follow unless if you're really obsessed with him, that will push him away
I'm super bad with the constant communication. I am an overthinker and not getting texts back or getting left on read makes me super anxious or that he's talking to other women.
same also every time see him online for many hours it's a a big question to me, but I'm trying to find it out his denying it. trying to use my intuition but cannot give an answers.
@@denillearenga7274 I feel ya.
@@marjoriea9079 I had a mini anxiety attack last night cause my brain kept telling me he hates me and is just playing me.
My gut says he isn't though....at least not intentionally.
It sucksssss
@@marjoriea9079 Well not really. He can go days without so much a text. I'm usually the one initiating contact so I'm backing off to see if he actually take the initiative like he did in the beginning.
@@marjoriea9079 Thanks. But I am a huge target for narcs (this guy isn't one though).
So I tend to just keep to myself now.
Maybe to scare men off isn't always a bad habit? Just an idea...haha
so don't tell him how i feel. got it
Just not too soon. Timing is really important. Exchanging feelings with a man is kind of like a dance in the beginning. Unless you know 100% that he feels the same way you do, it's best to let him lead 😉
Ryan Patrick I mean feelings are pretty deep. We’ve been friends for like 3 months and I’ve been interested in more than just being friends for a month now. We’ve hung out outside of class related things and we’re going on winter break in 2 weeks. Winter break is a month long. Idk if I should tell him that I’m interested more than just being friends before the break
@@nigerianprincess777 Does your gut tell you that he feels the same way about you? I know that can be a tough question to answer, but what does your gut tell you? "Friends first" is how the best romantic relationships start, in my opinion. That's how my wife and I started. So during winter break, I'd just focus on having a really good time with him and hang out. When you're with him, look at his pupils in his eyes. Are they wide and dilated? If so, that's a very strong sign he's attracted to you.
Also, check out this body language video I did called "Does He Like Me Or Is He Just Being Nice" here if you haven't already ----> ruclips.net/video/UKFc7Lujhx8/видео.html If you see more of these signs he likes you, then toward the end of winter break, sure, I'd let him know how you feel! Hope that helps 🙂
Ryan Patrick honestly my gut tells me he is but I just don’t know if it’s too early to say anything but yeah I guess I’ll see how break goes
Thank u
Kept my mouth shut about how I felt for 4 years and now he’s engaged. Fml
Awwww :(
I was too available and idealized him. He is backing away.
Yeah after watching this I'm glad to be single. Some of these are legit, like not being insecure or selfish. BUT all the stuff about not seeming busy or mysterious... it's all game playing as far as I'm concerned and I don't dig it. I wanna be available if I like you. I want to tell you all about me if it feels right. And if I have to constantly hold back on what seems right in order to play a game, I don't want any part of it.
Love this!
These seem contradictory, but they’re not. I’ve done just about all of these things. I’ve realized revealing too much too soon is an anxiety response in me, and I’m just trying to speed up intimacy to get that feeling of connection.
A lot of narcistic personalities expect you to entertain them.
Cool... low key??
Guess ima die alone then. 😂
😂😂😂
i tend to be too available, and make the moves so its easy for him, ends up by him being disinterested
His loss
Why should we treat them like babies...ugh
Why pay for the cow when you get the milk for free, keep your legs closed
@@rustyshackleferd204 what? i never had sex with these guys?
Same. It happens to me all the time because I am too nice and think of men responding like I would. The reality is that men love to chase and it’s been hard to allow myself to be a little distant.
Can you do a video on how to recover with a guy if you've accidentally had one or more of those behaviors?
Noted!
Ryan Patrick YESSS please do it
If you fart too much.
That too 😬😄
😂
Literally went on a date with a guy who said he was “fart positive” and farted continuously (and audibly) throughout the date in an effort to “normalize” it. Never talked to him again. 😂
Oh, definitely gotta have an argument or debate from time to time, otherwise, that's TOO good of a relationship and that's fishy. I am Aquarius, and if you know us Aquarians, we do not like to hold back when we have somethin' to say. If my boyfriend is being an arse hole, I am quick to confront that sh*& immediately. I cannot hold back what I'm thinking and I don't mince words, but, as he is a Taurus, that boy ain't ashamed to holla back at me the same way when I do bit*&y sh*& to him. So... LOL And they say Aquarius n Taurus are the two MOST stubborn of the zodiac. Astrologers say Aqua and the Bull are no match, but I've been with my stubborn bull for 8 months and we argue incessantly. LOL So, must mean we really love each other. He teases me a lot, and I know he's joking, but sometimes it makes me wanna fart in his Wheaties, because I hate being teased. But, we argue because we're stubborn and have to get our points out there. But once resolved, we're inseparable. It's weird. My younger brother is a Taurus and we HATE each other. We don't even speak. So, that's a sibling... But dating one? WHEW I've got my hands full, mate! Advice from this Aquarius woman: NEVER BE AFRAID TO SPEAK UP IF HE'S BEING A JERK. IF HE COMES BACK, AND WORKS THINGS OUT WITH YOU, EVEN THO YOU HAD TO BE A BI*&CH TO HIM, THEN HE'S YOURS. NEVER CHASE. and... Taurus men are tough. LOL And, Aquarius LOVES a good debate, so bring it on. Hahaha
So one can say that men tend to be attracted by self-confident, mysterious and 'cold' women. This is why they complain afterwards. :-%
I get drunk with 1 glass of wine ( Thanks to Asian blood). Who knows what I say depends on what kind of alcohol it is. I just brew my first date. I wasn't myself because I was off my head with terrible wine. I have enough dates but this one was someone I really liked and felt connected... so it sucks!
Is the neediness one really such a bad thing?? I mean, if a woman gets attached really quickly and gets needy and gains feelings soon....is that truly THAT bad?? Just be honest with me on this one.
G r e a t... I just wish I had seen this video one month earlier
Me tooo!
Guess I'm guilty of a few of these, but not too much. Maybe he should be honest and upfront in the beginning. Men these days are harder to get close too, anyone can have sex, but what about men treating women with respect and honesty, that might be a first
girls say and do what we want. Some more than others . Why cant men do that instead of mind games . It’s exhausting thinking of the relationship as playing hard to get
Oops! It looks I'm screwd up, i think I scared my crush by being too fast. Now he disappeared!
Thank you, thank you, a couple of days ago I acted in all of them that you have mentioned.
Haha let it goooo
My ex tried to move in with me on the second day so its not just women that do that he was a "man" with very boyish ways about him 3 years older than me but he acted like he was way younger
Thats one of the narc red flags
@@drowe2753 what do you mean?
Ryan, it gets tricky because how do you know if you're right in feeling something or if you're "behaving badly"? For example, this guy I had started seeing for 6 weeks suddenly stopped giving me any news for a full week. Then when I asked him on the Saturday night what he was up to tonight? He replied "going to a small get together". Didn't even invite me, or ask what I was up to, or anything. So I sent him a text basically telling him his behavior was unacceptable and we would no longer be a thing. So was I the one being too high maintenance, insecure, needy? Or was I right and was he an asshole? I honestly just don't know anymore!
I don't think u shud hve complained. I wud hve said kool...im jamming with my ladies
Why is supposed to be our fault? 🤔🤔 That's gaslighting period! 🙄😌😆
This gave me so much anxiety, I can't. I'm now discouraged for life.
How can I be authentic and pretend I am mysterious and slow down all my actions when I am a fast mover?
You can't. You can be authentic or you can play games.
My worst one is making myself too available!! And SOMETIMES I also move too fast... So, I have a pretty good concept of how to get it right...
Love your work. But I always think your saying ‘I’m dating coach Ryan’ like your daring a guy called Ryan LOL.
I was always available
I nver prioritized my self my time my space
Most of it I agree, but "just keep pretending You are going in the right direction" hit me hard. I spent 6,5 years in a dating relationship convincing myself it was going the right direction, only to realize it will never be anything more... be careful with this, and remember communication is key, I didnt do it, now i am sorry.
I made a lot of mistakes when I first started dating, mostly because we didn't know how. When I met my husband, I totally overshared in the first month. But, guess what, he liked it, because I made him share at the same time and nobody had really been that interested in him before. So not everything is cast in stone.
So I kind of distant myself from this one guy he noticed it and wanted to talk about it. So I liked that he has good communication skills
It’s hard for me to be myself and just let things go as they will without fearing how things will turn out. I have CPTSD and I am used to being around narcissistic people. Whenever I am around “normal” guys, I always expect them to judge me on everything and I expect them to leave.
Interesting list of dos and don’ts. So...act interested but not too interested. Be unavailable but not too unavailable. Be self-sufficient and don’t glomm on to him. Don’t idolize him. But let him know you’re still focused. Quite the balancing act. None of us is perfect but occasionally someone actually loves us “just the way we are”. Of course, if he comes on too strong and puts us up on a pedestal, run!!!! 😂
what if he moves too fast into the relationship, then he assumes i'm supposed to putting up with him ghosting me sometimes?i didn't expect for this to happen
FACE IT, YOUR ADVICE IS GAMES!
how do you hold a conversation if you can't share too much? where do you draw the line in the beginning? is there a video on that?
Not yet, but I think that’s a great video idea! Noted! 😉
@@datingcoachryanpatrick I'm glad you saw this. Thanks. It would really help.
Thank you Ryan, very nice. The only thing I’m guilty of is too much availability. I used to be in the right track by not giving in when he asked me out short notice. I found a job on weekends and he ask me not to accept it because he wants me with him. I think that’s when our relationship fell apart. I noticed that his text became shorter and it took him hours to text me back an emoji or 2 words endearment. Sometimes I ask him how was his day was and never answer. And never explain or apologize about it. Staying with him in his place on weekends we’re getting shorter. After 2 and a half months, I just sent him a text with a simple “goodbye “. I was done with him.
Hey Ryan thanks to all your videos I’ve watched I’ve finally learned so much this new guy I’ve met I’ve been different taken all your advice this time and he’s definitely more attentive and the fact he wants to he’s put in so much effort and so have I I’m not rushing him I’m taking every day as it comes thank you 🙏🏻 ❤️
I'm surprised that anyone is even together when the things that turns men off are the things that feels natural for us ladies to do lol
Exhausting... 😳. I’m overthinking now that I was flaked on. He called already, but ignored him because it dawned to me how emotionally consuming it is. Being single was so much easier. I was minding my own business and had a good routine going for myself I.e waking up, work, work out, attend friend stuff, and self reflection. This guy comes up to me then kisses me at the club and going on the third date supposed to be today. It was easy for the last two weeks and have been talking to him everyday. The effort is reciprocal when it came to the calling, but damn it is just so damn consuming when it goes south. I want to continue, but it turns me off of how it is making me feel. I have to slow my roll I guess... I genuinely wanted to answer his call as I believe in living not in fear, but in love. Alternatively, I also know I always have to listen to my gut saying he had the entire day to let me know like an adult instead of calling way pass the scheduled time of date. Self value and self respect always has to come first. Clearly the guy didn’t value my time and I have to accept it as it is.
That was perfect!! Exactly the step by step things I need to know.
Can you make a video on how to recover from mistakes I made on the first date.( He did pulled away after our first meeting that lasted 1 week together)
He still talks to me very little. Every 3days but no more flirting, no sending kisses, no good morning or good night texts. Very flat and cold) it's uncomfortable for me. I feel like he only talks to me in case he had a better option to come around.
Thanks Ryan!
Oh my god Ryan!! I should have seen this videos a month ago and i probably would be dating one of the guy i was really interested in backthen. Now its over.
One thing i would like to ask you, you mentioned women should NEVER expect too much from a man, especially from the beginning. Well i have high expectation to others because i know i have a lot to give. But it seems like its not always working out this way. Would you please be kind to explain to me what should i do with that? Thank you very much in advance!!
X W I'm the same way and due to it I have been taken advantage of. Now I'm very guarded and Prefer to give or volunteer at my Church where the help is Always appreciated and I won't be taken advantage of.
Guys are complicated period!!
One very important thing that you do not address. Sex. Once that line is crossed - the game changes. It may not be popular to say that but when a man takes over the body of a woman but still wants "distance" and all of the other things you mention, he is just looking for free access to satisfy his physical needs. For the guys..if you do not want any of these 10 annoying behaviors..keep it in your pants, or in your mouth, until you are ready to accept that sex will change EVERYTHING.
PERFECTLY PUT!!!
I am an open book...annnd I think I move faster than this particular guy likes..
At first I'm not, but I get available to quickly. Working on it!
BTW, women are turned off by needy men, too
I learned the hard way that it is best to not talk about his kids. Nothing about his parenting, no opinions, no ideas, just don't.
Really good point, Tonya! Definitely leave all that stuff out in the beginning 👍
Honestly I don't do any of those behaviors, I have learned yrs. ago what makes a man tick and what behaviors turns him off😀
Expecting too much from him too fast
Remember ladies. , you are the prize , of course not in an egocentric way but you are still the prize at the end of the day,
Yes, what Cardina said! 😀
Yep I agree!
Any woman that thinks she is a prize is a massive turn off to men! The connection with another person is the PRIZE!
Cardina Tribe Sadly, sex ratio in Western countries doesn’t favour women. Statistically, men are the prize today.
Insecure, moving quickly, saying he’s perfect (I still think he is) I just fell hard and it scared him.
Me too :(
When my ex offered to drive us to go grab a coffee ,i refused him to drive coz i thot he was a bit reckless(fast driving) when it came to driving,hr felt intimidated and left,,lol
I like that you discuss topics quickly. No frills. Thank you. As for me, I was guilty of being available. Always. Its always yes. Apparently that was wrong of me. He 8s now an ex.
Thanks Bahava! I never liked fluff 🙂
@@datingcoachryanpatrick You're welcome. Looking forward to your future videos.
I get this video, because almost all he said turns me off if a guy does these things too ..
A man with zero confidence 👎🏾👎🏾👎🏾
Or if he's too clingy 👎🏾👎🏾👎🏾 Is rude to a water 👎🏾👎🏾 if he's too crass 👎🏾👎🏾👎🏾 if a man doesn't allow me my space 👎🏾👎🏾👎🏾 if he acts like a clown and is too effeminate 👎🏾👎🏾👎🏾
Women have standards too 💕💕💕
Games games games. "Rules" to keep him interested. Go at HIS pace. Muzzle yourself. Don't be too honest or too forthcoming. Act too busy for him even if you're not. Be inauthentic but don't let HIM know you're being inauthentic. These aren't men, these are little boys.
Been in a consistent relationship for nearly 10 years. I have always been unapologetically myself. That’s the end of my list. It works.
Well hell, don't be neurodivergent I guess. Mask on 🤦🏻 Look some of these tips are solid, but not everyone is going to fit a cookie cutter version of the person you've described. You can't change everything about yourself and still be 'authentic'. It's a nice idea but it's not how life works for everyone. I personally like your texting videos much better.
I apologize in advance for commenting on all your videos, but I have to agree with you on most of these things. I think I’ve made all these mistakes at least once😅😅😅😅really does explain a lot. Also lol@the people criticizing this video. The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off😂
Why should I change my behavior just for a man?If someone can't deal with how I act then there not worth my time.
The bar should always be LOW? Seriously? You are telling us to settle. However, nagging is a relationship killer for sure.....
Omfg!! I’ve done basically all of these!! No wonder why I’m single and can’t get past the 1st date 😂😂 thanks for this video! The last one has been my biggest problem in my last 2 big situationships where I fell for the guys and why we didn’t up dating. They felt pressured because I was too much in my masculine energy instead of my feminine energy and both blew up in my face and left me heart broken
Basically be aloof, unavailable, don't be too nice, be the cool girl. Reminds me of gone girl, she tried to be the cool girl and he still cheated 🤷♀️ lol
I think these things also depends on the type of men you are dating... If the men makes you feel insecure and brings out the toxic in you, it means your not compatible...
I've been guilty of sharing too much too soon. I'm a pretty transparent person when it comes to feelings. I don't like for people to think I'm hiding anything so I used to have this bad habit of basically vomiting all my personal information within the first couple dates. I scared off somebody I really thought was going to be the one I think I just came off as just too needy or crazy or a little bit of both. I'm currently dating someone and I have really put a lot of my past behaviors in check instead of sending cute texts to manipulate him to call me and set up a date. I have let him take the lead and contact me. It's not even manipulation it's all about letting him guide the pattern of this relationship without being a doormat. If I become irritated with him over something I find ways to communicate it to him without being hostile and critical. We discuss it and then I don't bring it up again. That was another behavior that was really hard to quit. The need to be right and pounds the point home. That also has driven dies away. I'm probably two decades older than you are but I'm still learning and you've given me so many good pointers thank you so much for making your information available and not making me feel like you're trying to just make a quick dime like other relationship coaches on RUclips. You're different and you're a standout
7.) Because I'm sensitive and have been hurt in the past, I'm typically better at expressing deeper feelings through writing than face to face. The artist in me has always been this way. I get scared of showing too much emotion too soon. Last year when my friend helped me with things for my car, my level of appreciation didn't match his level of sense of accomplishment-and he honestly did an amazing job. It takes time for me to get to know someone, trust them, and want to give them praise or encouragement-on the romantic spectrum. But I came off as unappreciative and ungrateful. Even though I never expected him to help me-he always wanted to, til a season of life came when he was going thru a lot. When that time came, he flaked on helping me, and then gave me a hard time when I asked why he gave advice but wasn't willing to actually help fix my car. He said him giving advice was offering help, but he never told me why he flaked. The shop and 2 other friends tried to fix my car and couldn't, so he later finally ca,me and figured out the problem. But if he had simply told me earlier on that he wasn't available to help me during a certain time because he was going thru a lot, then I would've understood. He definitely could've communicated better and things would have been fine, but I got pegged as being a selfish and whiny b**** (he didn't call me one, but said I was acting like one) for getting upset about him not helping me. Stupid.
Damn captured a prize? I'm not gonna want to be with a guy like that anyway. Yuck 🤢
I asked for in person meeting instead of Zoom. He disappeared. What happened? Was that too demanding or maybe he wants everything easy. iIll never know for sure. I'm reading men want to please us but maybe not.
If you have done any of these uninstentinonally and he blocks you off his fb and dissapers what can you do if anythibg because after all we're all human not perfect including him by all means !?
I tell too much too soon, but in my defense I have PTSD and will get triggered quickly
I'm seeing this guy who is incredibly handsome, intelligent, has an impressive well paying job at at a globally respected company, and is insanely charismatic (everyone wants to be his friend, student body president, everyone has a crush on him type of guy) and I got drunk on date 2 and wouldn't shut up about the most random stupid uninteresting things about me. I thought for sure he would ghost me after that, yet 2 months later we're still talking and hanging out. Doesn't make sense but i'm just living in the moment and enjoying it.
Ryan i'm and introverted person rather laid back so i guess that's why i'm single huh? and when i do approach a guy i find interesting he aint interested in me and i just waste my damn time...