If They Show These Early Signs They are a Narcissist
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- Опубликовано: 31 июл 2024
- Betrayal Trauma After Narcissistic Abuse:
www.emotionalabuserecovery.co...
chapters
00:00 introduction
01:36 1. You find yourself justifying their abusive behavior
03:25 2. Ask the person, Why do they love you ?
(Trick)
04:52 3. When you start dreading their presence
05:52 4. You end up abandoning yourself to ensure they don't abandon you
06:59 5. You lose yourself
Betrayal Trauma After Narcissistic Abuse:
www.emotionalabuserecovery.com/livevent
I have my entire life destroyed, how do I survive this madness ,I missed your healing live support groups,now I am being evicted due to his behavior not living with me as a neighbor
They can’t take NO for an answer, don’t apologize and want control, praise and admiration at all times.
Obedient slave who bows and worships them.
Exactly!
My ex husband left NO option for me to disagree with him. Even the most harmless or mundane topic--say vanilla vs chocolate, for example-no matter what it was, you HAD to agree with him!! If you tried to disagree, no matter how tactfully, he’d spend hours, if necessary, trying to convince you how HE is right & YOU are wrong!
@@mfar3016 how come you married such an a.hole ?
one HUGE indicator is if they WALK AWAY from you. So, let's say you are in a restaurant or at a park, and you are heading out the door or walking on a path and they WALK AHEAD OF YOU, they leave you behind and walk way way ahead of you. Please get in your car or have them take you home. It's a humiliation tactic. Get away...Ladies, especially YOU. He isn't stronger, he doesn't have longer legs, he's testing to see if you will pick up the breadcrumbs...get in YOUR car, block his number and drive AWAY. Please...for the love of God.
Thank you so much for this tip! That was very valuable ! 🙏
It can be. Can also be adhd / being on the spectrum.
Agree totally - I’ve only experienced this with my ex husband , who I found out a few years ago ( post divorce ) that he was a narc , ten years ago people didn’t really know about narcissists .Thank you for sharing this experience
I understand this first hand, all those moments came rushing back! It's a repetative cycle, they will do this over and over again, with their cycle of abusive tactics.
Yes!! He would tell me, I have long strides, we'll he only had long strides when it was him and I only bit when people were around he was a pure gentleman. What a loser, 2 years of my life, tried to drag me straight to hell but Jesus rescued me ❤
They cannot stand any sort of disagreement.
Facts 💘
excellent comment. inability to take accountability and resolve conflicts is a great shit-test to use to weed out toxic people in your life.
cheers, steven
Oh I think they love it. And usally instigate, just to see you get angry or upset. Poker face/ grey rock is truely the best weapon. That, they hate.
The one I think of, "K," was always portraying himself as a 'nice guy' who couldn't tolerate negativity, and didn't like arguing.
I've since learned, years out of the relationship, that what he meant was, "Don't you DARE argue with me!"
Yes! In my case, she made sure her opinion matters the most and always wanted the last word.
If they act as nice as pie when out in public with you, but treat you like shit behind closed doors - verbally and/or physically - leave and don't look back. My Nanna nailed it when talking about people like this. She said they were "Street angels and house devils." Just RUN.
There are many different signs. These include spending time on phone that was not spent previously, withholding sex from you, withdrawing in communication with you, agitation or anger over Petty stuff or making up situations to get angry or agitated over, lying, being secretive in any way, randomly spending more time caring for and pampering oneself such as putting on makeup or wearing cologne or coloring hair etc. Any type of changed behavior that is not aimed at pleasing or benefiting your relationship. With all of that though, follow your gut. your gut is telling you that something isn't right and it's telling you that this could or is happening, therefore listen to it. Just Free yourself from all of it! Run and don't look back. Go 100% no contact. The mental and emotional abuse is not okay at all! Do not bring anything up to her. Don't try to rationalize or have a conversation about anything. Don't let her know that you know she's in narcissist. All of that can cause a narcissistic rage. If you have not yet witnessed one of those just trust me that you don't want to! A narcissistic rage is beyond any rage I have ever seen or witnessed in my entire life. I am an army combat veteran and served front lines for a year and afghanistan. I have abuse going back from as long as I can remember, the first time in my personal memory is 2 years old. With everything I have been involved in, and my rape, other sexual abuse, their physical abuse, etc in narcissistic rage is by far the worst! If you need to contact your local police department and start a new contact order. No one can protect you like you can! free yourself from it all and move forward in your life. The minute you run and go no contact is the minute your life begins again. If need be seek out professional help. Therapy is the best thing I did for myself. The best gift I gave to me! The abuse is so deep and overwhelming that having a professional guide you through the steps of the healing process is extremely beneficial! Just remember, there is great strength in asking for help. There is great lack and strength or no strength at all in putting on a mask and hiding behind the opinions of society and pretending that you are okay! As human beings we all witness A Time In our lives where we are not okay! Those that heal, move past, and move forward, and have a brighter future are those who ask for help and do the work that is needed through the help! I'm so sorry you are going through this and I wish you the very best! Good luck! Always remember that you are stronger than you believe you are, you are worthy and deserving of better and always, and you are enough just the way you are and who you are today! Take this time for you! Get yourself again. Fix that meal that you're all time favorite, rent that movie you've been wanting to see, have a guys night out with your best friends, remodel a room in your home, go purchase that item you've been wanting to for so long, just do for yourself! Self-acceptance, self-love, and being able to forgive yourself is far more important than what anyone else can give to you! Believe in who you are! You deserve nothing less than that! You're not alone! Feel free to tag me in any other questions that you have! I'll help if I can. Additionally you can hire a cyber expert to help you get remote access to their phone so you can track them and monitor all of their activities without them knowing. You may locate the top cyber specialists locally at digitalinvestigate@gmail.com where you can engage a well-trained professional to assist you..........
Excellent advice. Those seeing this, please take warning. The narcissist doesn’t have love in them therefore can’t give love to anyone. Save yourself,your heart and precious time for good and caring people. ❤
Thank you
I wish I knew it earlier
True! Everything with a narcissist feels pressured, unsettling, exhausting, uncomfortable. Therapy with wonderful professionals like you and supportive family members have been helping me to understand and recover from narcissistic abuse. Thank you so much, Danish 💖🙏🏻
Exactly! My ex narc made me believe my family was racist against him so that I wouldn't see them anymore, he criticized things I liked to eat so that I wouldn't eat it. He told me my friends talked behind my back to him, he said my kids were embarrassed of me. He said his ex was crazy and that he always gets used by women. He said he had brain cancer which he does not. He repeats the same stories and scenarios over and over. He accused me of cheating all the time. I never got his validation or approval. He always complimented my coworkers and friends and only criticized me. He always speaks positive about himself and his appearance and constantly asks for validation. He showers me with material things in order to make me believe he loves me. I am permanently scared but grateful that I have time left to enjoy life without abuse
"If somebody shows you their true colors, don't repaint them in your mind" 💯 Once is a mistake. Twice is a coincidence. Three times is a pattern. The minute you see a pattern, don't overthink it and leave. Giving anyone the benefit of the doubt might end up killing you. #Narc101
I think it is a sign of healing when they try to devalue you or triangulate you to make you try "harder," instead you tell them you do not feel safe and you get the hell out of there. That is the correct reaction to their manipulations.
Amen
I'm not exactly sure how I discovered narcissism, but one thing I'm sure of is that if I hadn't found your channel, I would have been broken and bankrupt much more often.
I'm deeply grateful to you..
Same situation here 😢
For me it was maybe a year ago… I stumbled upon videos by Tim Fletcher on Complex Trauma Cptsd and Narcissistic Abuse… and it was like he was talking specifically about my life! My behaviors, my personality, my health… finally validation 😩 the relief. After that I started listening to some other great therapists/coaches on RUclips and it changed everything. The switch finally flipped and I was ready to start fighting for myself
My mother taught me to justify their behaviour...
I think we all need to see where we learned it.
I started lately to think that it drags throughout many generations.... Hardships in the fields, at home and more and more, wars, revolutions, emigration made us marginals... So we are marginals in all of the meanings... Finding ourselves facing the first time in our lives truth, admitting to ourselves what is really happening or what we are facing hard... And self awareness is a North star that many of us unable to follow, and we have no right forcefully to drag others to this path. The start might be very lonely....
@@matikramer9648 Wow! What a profound insight! That's one to remember!
Thanks for sharing that!
I didnt even know the signs of narcissism. 35 years ago when i got married, there was no youtube where you could learn these things. Danish, you are changing lives, bring awareness to the light. God bless you.
What I have experienced how to tell if a person is a narcissist:
1) Blame their ex past relationships.(Plays victim card)
2) The person asks about how much you make and how much you do when you meet them.
3) The person begins to give you excessive attention and gifts.
4) the person talks to people as If they've known them for ages(to a new person)
5) the person has more than two divorces.
WOW, I think you've met my ex! He was exactly like this when I met him. I wish I would've have known!!!!
@@mia_1969 I was married to a narcissistic woman for 7 years. I would never want to go through hell again.
Another toxic thing these people do is triangulation.
My ex was also a hoarder
@@XavierP333 YES.... again it's like they are the exact same person. One is male and one is female. My ex was always cheating and also a big hoarder.
They never hold your hand in hands or put on your shoulder like a romantic gesture, they just tightly hold your hand above the elbow as if you are their manipulated controlled doll in public.. My experience
Wow he use to hold my hand so tight like I was his property he was protecting
I always felt like his 'lady in waiting'. I abandoned what I loved to do because I felt I needed to be available because it was always about his work, his 80 hour work week, and because I needed to be the one who had to maintain flexibility. I literally gave up who I was and what I wanted to do in life, in order to be there for whatever he needed, whenever he needed.
@@catbee1452 That's just not right. My dad treated my mother like a poorly treated employee instead of a partner. When things didn't measure up to his self-centered expectations, he would come whining to us kids about how he should expect more out of her because He worked 10-11 hour days and half days on Saturdays (and, this was far from the worst way he triangulated us against her).
She was a homemaker for him most of her adult life mainly because he broke her self- worth so badly that she couldn't do anything except for what he wanted. And she did a lot all while dealing with the severe psychological problems that resulted from his abuse. She cooked, cleaned, shopped for everyone's groceries and other needs, mailed out all the bills and Christmas cards, raised us kids, drove us kids around where we needed to go, went to all our parent-teacher conferences - basically anything he could get away with pawning off onto her he did. She even told me that he wouldn't help take care of us after she'd just given birth to us. WTH!😡
He'd expect some really stupid stuff from her sometimes. Like, she always had to make his lunch every single morning even if it meant getting up at 4am. Making it for him the night before wasn't good enough. True, she'd put off things like laundry and keeping the kitchen clean until it was just gross. But, it was partially due to depression and mostly to do with getting back at him. The rest of the house was usually pretty clean and uncluttered. And, she did just about everything else he wanted.
What really ticks me off was that shortly after she passed away, my dad admitted to me that he really didn't have to work all that overtime. He just did. And, yet he used it as an excuse to play the martyr. 🤔.
Ah! Ask them "why do you love me?I never thought of that! 👍
A healthy relationship doesn’t make you feel like a failure. Narcs are broken, irreparable products. We invest our time and energy trying to fix them, with genuine hope that they will ‘work’ normally. We end up exhausted and drained from our futile attempts and in pain from injuries inflicted by the malfunctioning merchandise.
I love that you said that if you ask a narcissist what they love about you they turn it on themselves. Both narcissists I’ve been with have done this and to me that’s the true test. A non narcissist would say “I love you because you have a good heart/personality etc”. A narcissist will say “I love you because you make me happy or make me feel good”.
They see themselves as gods,and idols. Expect you too bow down,and worship them. They want everything perfect.
The only thing that can “save” a narcissist is if they humble themselves before God, and refute the spirit of ego and self worship. And it will still be a struggle to not be how they are.
Being with a narc is like sharing the bed with a devil
Just run and dont look back ever
I asked the narcissist husband why he loved me. The answer I got; "That's not a fair question!" ???😮???
Wtf
@@bluesky2648 Thank you! That was my reaction precisely. Of course it was my unspoken reaction. Then I wondered if I had entered some warped reality or dreamscape. Talk about a mind scramble, after 10 years of marriage. 😲
WTF?
Wowwwww yikes
😮
Wow. Yes, excusing their abuse, especially when it’s very subtle and they are just testing you. It’s not because you need testing, it’s because it’s fun for them to see how far they can push you.
"Why should I dread going home to this person?"
You're so helpful, Danish! You bring up points that I've never heard from other coaches.
I concur
Yes exactly i had autoimmune disease of gut... I had gone through lot..... I cant explain 😢 and cant forget . I feel like there is everliving wound in my heart...
Imo CHILDREN in school around the ages of 8 - 10 years old should be taught all about narcissists and how to spot them. Many children are being raised by narcissists who are doing their worst to destroy their own child.
But how to teach them?
@@noreenhaq Most children have a keen sense of what is fair versus what is unfair. That could be the opening level, to get them interested in the subject. The information for adults is mostly about 'romantic partners', but has a HUGE gaping hole about the adult enablers, empaths, people who as children were raised by narcissistic parents. Such adults were child victims, who were forced into becoming magnets for narcissists totally against their will. The info for adults obviously needs to be modified into the viewpoint of children trapped by one or two narcissistic parents, who cannot escape from their monstrous parents for many years until the child reaches adulthood. Any child with a narcissist parent has it FAR WORSE than an adult with a narcissistic partner.
R u kidding? Adults.barely wrap their head around it. Kids r being indoctrinated w racism, marxism and t gender!!!!!
@@WWZenaDoagreed I’ve wasted 24 years of my living life and it’s still my fault I have accountability even though I’m the “victim” that’s the funny part of us survivors.
@@pathfinder_official1526 I'm sorry that you're going through that. I hope Danish Bashir's videos are helpful for you.
If you feel like you’re being rushed to break down your boundaries🚩
When they agree with you, and later bring up again to shift blame or not take accountability🚩
These are a couple things I’ve recently encountered.
This last one might be me being paranoid or over analyzing but when they have delayed reactions of happiness when they see you🚩🚩 it’s like it takes them a second to mirror how they think you want them to react when they may feel otherwise
Lmk if you’ve experienced something similar if you’d like
The delayed or even missing reactions of happiness, showed after a very neutral moment, or a bit of contempt in first glance. Yes, I've experienced that regularly. I've thought I was over- interpreting.
They move REALLY fast. K asked me "When do I move in?" to my house after two weeks, then managed to weasel his way in after I refused to invite him. It wasn't ME he wanted, it was my assets.
Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.
Danish, you are a peacemaker. Those who educate us through videos like these, are the peacemakers…..by helping us to understand this chaotic mess that narcissists create…..and how our ignorance of the situation can make things worse.
And yes, I am one of those that say, I wish I had known of this information decades ago…..but better late than never.
Helping us to navigate these dark waters, has helped us to learn how to be at peace…..instead of feeling like we are at the mercy of these abusive manipulators.
I can honestly say, that listening to all of these explanations for the last six years has helped my sanity IMMENSELY…..and helped me to be at peace more.
Bless you, Danish!
I wish I had known these things before I got married 20 years ago. I did have people try to warn me but I didn’t understand so I didn’t listen. I think I thought like everyone else at that time, and that if you were abuse, then it was because you were being hit. So maybe I ignored the other signs or just didn’t recognize them because I have never been physically abuse, it has always been mental abuse. Thank you for sharing this information with us, and helping us to understand, so that we don’t feel guilty and blame ourselves for something that isn’t our fault.
It’s healing just to hear you express all these things with soooo much understanding 😢
This is all true with my parents and siblings. I went recently no contact and they don’t understand why. I do feel guilty for abandoning them but also relieved not to have the dread and pressure of going along with it all to keep the peace.
1st Sign
They Will Stand You Up!
And Then,
Make Excuses Of Why?
A Narcissist Will Never Keep The Word.
Biggest Liars.
2nd Sign.
They Are Flashy!
They Have To Be The Center Of Attention.
3rd Sign.
If They Do Something Or Give You Something,
It Is Because They Want Something In Return.
If They Want Something Back From You In Return for What They Did For You.
Most Noticeable Sign,
Tell Them No About Something Small.
👇
If They Get Mad Or Angry!
You Know You Are Dealing With A Narcissist.
I remember how he would speak very subliminal. “I can’t wait to be a father. I always get what I want. You clearly don’t want to be with me if you don’t want a family with me”. Constantly pressuring. When you believe that possibly in time.
You’re right. I don’t have mild anger issues. Why am I accepting it from others. I don’t want a partner who cannot treat me the way I will treat them. I will leave.
People like to blame the victim but what People don't understand the narc preys on integrity People by pretending to care but it's all a set up😢
I've come to learn that it's often the 'angry' and 'unhinged' person that's the one being abused. They makes us that way, so that we react without thinking (trauma), then can sit back and smugly say, "See? I told you what they were like!"
They are not 'sick.' They are evil. They CHOOSE to act that way, because of how they can switch it on and off like a light switch when they want to.
How to prove my parents and relatives about fiance and his mother ..that they both are narc, please suggest 😢
I wish i found content like this sooner as well. Feels like I've been brainwashed for over 30 years.
I don't know who i am when I'm around my family. But i am so drained when i get home. They get louder when they've been drinking, my hearing is so sensitive. Headache for days.
I get blotchy rashes on my skin when I'm anxious and the shakes, which is embarrassing 😅 fun times ayeee
I used to say, "When in Rome, [do as the Romans do.]." A recent revelation: "If you want to stop doing as the Romans do, maybe stay out of Rome." I've been no contact w/ my FOO (Family of Origin) since Christmas, and I'm doing much better.
We who have been abused on every level…didn’t even know the word Narcissist..now through people like you Danish we have the terminology for what we’ve gone/going through …Narcissism is a new term..Thank you for helping people to understand what their going through 🫶🫶🫶
YOU ARE SAVING LIVES NOW MY FRIEND!!!
THANK YOU FOR ALL YOU DO DANISH!!! YOU ARE DOING THE LORDS WORK FRFR!!
7 years wasted, wish I had met you first. I Married too fast. 😢
Over 30 yrs wasted.
@@ShirlGodisGreatsorry dear?
I really do wish I had coaches like you and so many others I have found in the past few years. I had little guidance when I was younger and made soooo many mistakes. It took an act of God to fully snap out of it
I feel the care, concern, and understanding from you, Danish, and you didn't even know me. I appreciate you. Thank you❤
One of the reasons I went no contact with my dad is that I felt a feeling of dread whenever my phone rang because I always felt really bad after taking to him. And, the reasons weren't usually obvious. They were very subtle. I had to think about it. He's such an insidiously negative and hateful person to deal with.
in addition to the video which serves as a great guideline to detect toxic people.
here's 4 questions i have used in the past as 💩- tests, when you are unsure about someone who is currently involved in your life.
assuming you are treating said person in good faith, the way you would want to be treated:
1) what value do you bring to my life?
2) if the situation was reversed, would you do as much if not even half for me, of what i have done and/or would do for you?
3) if i stayed to myself, what would i miss about you?
4) how do i feel when i am around you. do you make my life better or worse?
if you have to ask any or all of the questions to yourself about the person in question, that's a red flag.
if you ask them out loud to the other person, get ready to say goodbye. red flags never turn green.
cheers from southern ontario, canada 🍁
But only you can answer number 3 and 4 because they are about you and how you feel and what you would miss.
They can only speculate from their perception.
I have noticed that they will usually tell you how they are right from the beginning.
This is so helpful, Danish. So true. Also when they are pointing out mistakes they always humiliate, belittle and ridicule others especially in public. It's important to learn how to spot their toxic behaviour patterns and I'm so grateful that your content is helping many of us. Thank you 🙏🏻💜
the legitimation of narcissistic behavior as the result of past traumas is also an aspect of modern psychology. the concept of personal accountability in psychotherapy is at times seen as less important than it's causes.
True. I don't buy this for one reason; my friend is dealing with his brother, who is an angry, vile, spiteful narcissistic a-hole. Not diagnosed, mind you, but just cold hearted as could be, especially after their parents died. It was like a dam had broken, so now narcissist T could work on destroying my friend B without the "blockers" in his way.
B describes their upbringing as just shy of idyllic, two loving parents who loved one another (I've read his mother's journals; she was in love with their father in a way most of us only dream of), farm life in a small town community, 4-H, all the stuff you drive past and long for.
Besides the fact that narcissists lie their arses off about their 'sad pasts' - my malignant mother figure used to claim that my father broke her arm, only to sit back smugly some 40 years later when my father told the truth - that she broke her own arm by being a snot and slipping on some ice.
So I don't buy the line that "Woe is me! My childhood was bad! So now I can't help but to brutalize my family, use my friends and claim victimhood after I'm caught!"
Intact male bovine excrement.
I didn't know about narcissism when I started dating my ex, but I knew something was wrong. I also blamed his bad childhood and even worse, his best friend killed himself very early in our relationship so I forgave him for everything. Years later he still expected me not only to forgive everything but act happy no matter what he did.
In my case, he didnt like I know his friends and if one person meeting us, he never introduced me...i was invisible. And some people said: "Take care of him. He´s a nice guy" or "he´s a boy of gold". And it becomes to me in a form of rumminating memories. And all things begins make sense, like a film you saw without a script or a details on this script. Just images, even the words could fit them, but not. A terror film. suspense film. sad film.
42 years of life wasted...........
I wish i heard you earlier
🫶 better late than never
@@Sophie-ur2qb yes 😊
You are not alone. It took me almost 30 years telling myself I am no good. My personality changed. I developed binge eating disorder. I had cancer. I went for therapy. I took anti-depressants. Then when I found out the truth I couldn't believe how stupid I was to get caught. Finally this year I listened to hypnotherapy to forget a toxic person and I have finally moved forward. I feel I wasted my life and I am 60 this year.
Thank you! I’m scared once I start dating again (years from now) that I will not know what to do or look for
Words can't express how grateful I'm to you and your channel. I've been following your and Dr. Ramani's channel for more than a year now and you guys help me understand how narcissists' words and actions mean. I finally, after almost four years of struggle, psychological and emotional abuse, left my narcissistic relationship. Thank you so much for helping. Lots of love to you.
You nailed it again, Danish! Every point hit home with me.
You are a great man Danish. Thank you for your insight
Thanks. Jzk. Your videos have been liberating. AH I’m not dealing with malignancy in my situation but still not healthy. Knowing is half the battle. Now I know what to look for and the need to seek help.
This is very important, Thank-you for this topic.
Walking on eggshells even if it’s easy for you to not annoy them… still isn’t a good friendship. Even at work, they will eventually target you even if you’re nice to them and cool with them.
Thank you. I wish you would do a video on narcisitic attacking family systems
A huge red flag :- they suddenly criticise your clothing out of the blue, when all seems happy ie "That jacket doesn't go with that skirt."
It may seem trivial but it's leading up to criticism and put downs of everything about your life. Run
They also love painting themselves as the hero or savior in tales they tell. For example, they'll say that they had a dream about you where you were in danger and they were there to save you, before anything bad happened.
Another one, they'd purposely create a problem and act like it was caused by you. When all they're trying to do is come up with the solution.
It's so healing to hear you, thamk you 🙏🏻🤍
I second the "I wish I had discovered this years ago"
Thankyou for this valuable information.
This video made me cry. Maybe bc it’s like the sixth one in a row from this doctor I’ve just watched. I don’t think I’ve realized how much of these things I live with…and I’m not sure every single one of these qualities is his but man, there are so many that are. It’s hard when you see the good in them too. It’s hard when you know their trauma and wish for their healing. And even harder when you draw boundaries and they do not care, they blow thru them, and they refuse to leave, refuse to go, when you have had enough…it feels like being so stuck when they refuse to go and then pledge n start pouring out love love love love love and try hard, try meds, try therapy etc…idk, it’s just tumultuous and chaotic, and gets a little hopeless when you think, wow, why can’t you just make life nice. I’m easy and you are so very hard, for no good reason I can see at all. Idk sorry to rant lol but this channel is loaded with so much reality that it’s kinda overwhelming to start realizing some things a little better.
They r who they r an even if things were perfect or if u had a better job or if u let things go they r horrible people if u start acting like them they will never forget as if u r the worst person An they never belive u THEY CHEAT ALL THE TIME SLEEP AROUND
If u don't give them what they want an if it's a female she will get it from another man
Sir a narcissist copies me. She is now very kind and polite to those who were close to me so much. She tries to snatch my place and tries to be liked by all and others be defamed.
Great video!
Thank you Danish 🙏
It was like he wanted to be in control over my life my every move and I had to constantly give him reinsurance that I only wanted him
Very helpful. Thank you.
A relatively new topic barely discussed 10 years may be... Better late than never is the best option...
If this information was around 20 years ago (I was 9 in 2004) I watched Ella Enchanted again at 29 (this year is the 20th anniversary) it’s come full circle. 😊 My Prince died in 2013…. The year I graduated high school 😊
I can totally relate to that movie!! The part where she is forced to break up with her best friend causes me to cry every time.
My heart goes out to you. The man I loved died in 2017. We tried to reconcile a couple of times, but the evil monster who called herself my mother destroyed it. He was truly sick, and I became mentally ill. I love him to this day, and will for as long as my soul exists.
the worst part of her meddling is that she caused me to believe as a teen that a good man who treated me decent was bad, and that horrible man-children who treated me horribly were good.
I'm convinced now that she was determined to keep me from loving anyone and keep anyone from loving or validating me. They despise love....just like the lord of the underworld. Coincidence?? I think not.
I stayed running to my car and leaving my own home sitting at the park crying he would accuse me of going to see a man
Thanks danish
Red flag - empty profile yet when you speak to him magically his hobbies are your hobbies ; he gives up his rental home within weeks of meeting you to “ save money “ ; he’s always in flash clothes / goes on holiday , but no money . Lives with his mother ( despite being 40 years and up ) ; advises he has money issues ; targets you as you have your own place near his work / family / kids - and wants to move into your house!!
That reminds me, K showed up at my house in a nice car, and told me he lived in a ritzy neighborhood....I soon found out that the car belonged to his sister, and he was living in her home, rent free!!
Also, make a video about all the people who lost many years without knowing the subject.
Tell some comforting words to the men and women who are old now and have lost the opportunity to enjoy their special abilities and the chance to have a happy life because of narc abuse. Thank you
U are never too old and its never too late.. you atleast have a day to live right.. make the most out of it.. listen yo music cook some good food.. dance.. befriend yourself.. u dont need others to live a happy life
@@tejalhalde Thank you for your message! 💐❤You are so kind. I was thinking about the regrets of a lifetime of many people around me. I fortunately have my answers now and it's not too late!
@@stargazer3887 m so glad i could help.. we all are riding in the same boat.. life is a gift.. life is precious.. we all have gone through a lot.. and we cant forget our past.. m sure u will again be sad afyer few days.. so the key is to do affermations.. sentences like -- " i will not react to his provocations".. or " each day i am getting healthier and better than yesterday" such sentenses help.. good luck maam
@@stargazer3887 i am so glad i could be of some help.. but after few days we tend to slide into our sadness again.. so i would suggest self affermations.. sentences like --
"I will not react to narc's provocatiins" or " i am getting healthier and better days by day" or i dont need validation from others i know how good i am..
-- such sentences help.. see the diffrence after a month.. because it helped me a lot..
🌺good luck🌺
@@tejalhalde These monsters chase you until your end! But now we recognize everything! This is the most important. That we can have our power back. Good luck to you too!
Send you my thoughts of support! 😊🌺💗
Rule #4...they make you abandon yourself...and your friends. My Narcissistic family hate that i have friends that think i'm lovely. If a friend does something nice for me, my narc-family will hate our guts. I can be hit by a car and narc-fam will tell me to call my friend. Wtf?!?!!! They will only help me if i have no friends. Psycho-Narcissists. They hate when ppl just like me. They love convincing me nobody likes me.
I'm sorry you have to go through that. That's so terrible 😞😞😞.
Narcs only provide "help" if it makes them feel powerful or superior. If you aren't doing "poorly" enough in life to suit their ego or -heaven forbid - you are looking for assistance to better your life ( even if you try to strike a deal that will benefit them) - why, you are just a "low life garbage human" who "doesn't deserve any assistance from them whatsoever." In fact, no matter how good a person you are, in their eyes you are a piece of vermin that isn't even deserving of their presence.
I have a couple of relatives that are like that. If I need or want something,(at best) I'll get treated like that's all I ever contact them for even though that couldn't be farther from the truth. Most of the visits between us were orchestrated by me. And, I have to practically chase them down to get them to share holidays with me like I'm this piece of trash they prefer not to have around. And, I'm super nice - much nicer than they will ever deserve. At worst, they will treat me like a manipulative bully who wants too much ( I'm not). Or, they will find some other demeaning and B.S. excuse.
But, when it comes to their garbage pail friends, It's a whole different story. They will bend over backwards and turn cartwheels for people who are two-faced, gossipy, manipulative,abuse their kids and partners and always have their hand out. When I point out that these people are abusive even when these creeps clearly mistreat me in front of them, my narc relatives just gaslight me into feeling like It Isn't happening or I am overreacting.
People who would rather see you hurting than happy and who value those who love evil over those who love good aren't worth your spit. They are enemies of God. They are the sort of people that the Bible refers to as dross and chaff and belonging in the garbage heap of the universe. And, unless they can and choose to sincerely repent and follow the right path, that's where they will stay.
I honestly wish, i had come across your video. I ended up losing my one year salary on a narcissistic person.
1:54 wow thats so true I never would have thought of it tĥis way or realized that
I do wish I would've known these things 20 years ago, not just for mu sake, but my children's and my husband's, we don't go through anything alone and everybody loses the things we need most.
Thank you much, Danish. I thank Jesus Christ for you and your content ❤
I didn’t know about narcissistic personality disorder till 29 yrs old. So sad.
They’re not looking for love or partnership they’re looking for opportunity and control
Exactly. I like to tell myself that my narc relatives never have relationships. They only have power plays.
@@raindrop1215 It's painful as you discover they don't care or even worse, have exploited or mistreated you. There is a lot of jealousy and unmet needs in the family dynamic, birth order and other dysfunctional issues. I cannot relate to dishonest people, weak people or poor communicators. I simply can't trust them because their behavior is fundamentally evasive. People who can't articulate or put into writing legal or financial issues it is unsustainable to deal with them on any level. I try to give people every opportunity to be honest and transparent. If they choose not to be they also choose not to be in my orbit.
@@cynthiarouse I know, discovering how loveless and dishonest so many people in my family really are was like staring into an endless abyss of darkness. And, it was such an unbelievable shock.😞😞😞
@@raindrop1215 they’re morally bankrupt and soulless people. Emotional cowards. They just do not care about anything except themselves and their money. That’s it. Awful people. It used to bother me but no longer. I have many blessings and sources of joy. I only let love around me. I get a whiff of anything dishonest coercive manipulative or harmful I’m gone. Too old for negative drama. Good luck on your spiritual pathway. ☺️
U r really good.
I wish I knew about Narcissistic Disorder many many years ago
I have dealt with walking on egg shells, his rages, rantings and his alcoholism, womanizing, sexual behaviors, when caught he has even paid off the victims who reported him
-What are you made of, you haven’t broken yet
-all your family & friends are crazy
-who are you seeing, where is your strength coming from
- who are you talking with
-do you know how difficult it will be to live as a single woman
-i feel sorry for you and your destiny, you couldn’t have found someone as bad as me
-my family has always said that I am the black sheep
- controls his family & friends with money, so they keep their mouth shut and ignore all his lapses
-and the list can go on & on …
Been away from all this for a while now, except when coparenting 2 kids
I think those are not early signs… but still valid.
I am going through same thing 😢😢
The covert narcissist I lived with for 26 years said it was because of my toes and I made him laugh.
A few years ago his son and his wife were at our house and his son said the same thing about his wife's toes. At the time, I had not figured out that my husband was a covert narcissist. And I was like "OMG, it's hereditary." Everybody laughed. Now whether my covert narc husband had anything to do with him saying that, I don't know, but now I'm wondering if she will end up or is going through the same thing even though it doesn't appear so.
Thank you.
Why do u love me, i never EVER!! got answer to this question actually, i never, but! I was always expected to give answer to that same question
I’m trying to figure out who’s the narcissist in my relationship. We are 6 years deep and I can relay with a lot of Narcissistic behavior BUT also the abuse…
I found out that I DO feel like a lot is NOT my fault… and if it is it’s never the intention to isolate her. But ever since we go together, she became mentally ill and stopped working for the last 4 years.
I work my ass off and I don’t get much back, besides her trying to ‘love’ me with presents, hugs and kisses… It’s sweet but all I want is her to get better!
I get angry when she goes out with her friends. She doesn’t work… cause working is too much… but going out ain’t even if it’s not even her money.
Now I heard someone say that a Narcissist won’t leave unless they need to get rid off you..
Don’t get me wrong… but her not working and only being able to do what she wants, when she wants, broke something in me… especially since I’m not allowed to point this out cause she’ll be offended and hurt.
I recently met someone else that made my heart explode and I realized if I chose to leave my gf, she would have nothing left. Everything is on my name… the house, the dog… I can’t take that away from her too.
I find myself losing my shit everyday now. I even told my gf about my heart cheating… For the record I didn’t cheat… yet… but I learned better not to be that honest anymore cause she’ll use it against me.
I guess the Narcissistic f*ck in me decided to take my stuff and sleep at my parents for a while.. is this me getting rid of her?
How do I get better?
Numbers 4 and 5 are particularly and painfully apposite.
I wished I had knows about narcissism also…:(
Me 2 Danish I am So Grateful & Thankful 4 u You're The Best ❤ u
I wish i can see this video 2 year's before 😢😢
All the signs I've experienced before jumping out. I hope other women realizes earlier.
So True!
The love portion is correct!
I was with a narcissist and then I finished but took years. Really traumatized
..but my immune is strong enough since I was a child that created by God 🙏
Large doses of Vitamin D+K2 mk7 are very good for immune health.