3 Traits of The Lone Wolf Empath
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- Опубликовано: 20 авг 2024
- Empaths are deep feelers, mostly introverted and many are also lone wolves, meaning they carve their own path, are extremely creative and prone to loneliness and addiction. I'd love to hear how you relate to these three traits and how you have managed to balance your alone time and creative time so you can enjoy a healthy relationship with yourself and others.
#empaths #loneliness #addiction #traumabond
Growing up being surrounded by narcissistic parasites. I embrace peace and quiet. Narcissistic people can not be alone. They panic.
that is very true because they always need a source of "supply"
I really needed this comment and video today I was thinking something is wrong with me and that i was being unhealthy Because I stay at home alot...but after realizing spending 90 percent of my life with narcs and exposed to abuse I find I actually find peace within it....
Honestly, that is very true.
I know many women who are like this.
They just need to have some guy around.
wot is your age@@kendraheard1097
Is that true?
Narcissistic people are concerned about being viewed as strong, not weak.
That doesn’t mean they need to be around people or extroverted.
I don’t feel any loneliness, I LOVE being alone..
You’re never alone if you enjoy your own company, I have always been a firm believer in that
Yup
The man who can be at peace alone in the dark is either a devil or a god.
@@rangerdoc1029 that one makes me laugh
@@rangerdoc1029what if you are at peace alone in the light?
You just described my whole existence. Im 46 . I am alone, im lonely. Im also safe from any more trauma.
Its a brutal cycle .
Same. Detachment would be such a relief. Shedding the programming and leaving my codependant relationship is still needed. I yearn for better deeper company...on.occasion... 😅
Get out and meet lots of different people.
I can't wait to visit my brother and his family.
Don't let a narcissist brainwash you into thinking you are a loner. They isolated for that reason. Be sociable. Have lots of fun.
@deepmaven8773 ya, .. you are correct.
Like water, we must keep with the flow of life.
Once I was in one of the most remote villages in the NWT of Canada. I went for a walk alone for a few hours in the Bush and felt, once and for all the deepest and most profound sense of NOBODY AROUND.
Truly and utterly alone.
I relaxed for almost the first time I could remember.
I felt better.
I understand. I crave the bush life. Trees and rocks, rocks and trees, and water.
Most people dont seem to realize that when youve been doing the same job year after year, & just as importantly when youve been playing the same role in your family for years, it will easily take A YEAR of living in quiet before you can actually relax
Sustained anxiety is another nornalized abnormal of today's world. Its why most of us can never accept the idea that we really are anxious most of the time. It wasnt until I'd LEFT the working world for an entire year, & had to take Prozac for just as long. Only then did I realize just how tense & wound up I'd been every day. Pulling away & finding peace again is so much better than resorting to alcohol abuse, drug abuse, dependance on pharmaceutical drugs, & even psychotherapy sessions!
Make no mistake, though. There's no substitute for an effective psychotherapist. There comes a time when you cant get healthy again without guidance
I had that experience on the southern most beach in Stuart island Nz feels good 👍
I never feel alone when in the wild, outside in nature or with other creatures apart from humans. Humans cause me irritation and discomfort a lot of the time. Yet weirdly I have a social job and enjoy that immensely. Really odd
@@btown8210 Thank you for contributing. Thank you for bringing up the topic of the Spirit, not just in the usual church theme, but as a natural force throughout Nature. Modern Christianity & industrial life has disconnected us & made us insensitive, disconnecting us from God & his Spirit
_Nature Has A Wordless Way._
We are part of nature. It is our natural destiny. We were created to be custodians of the Earth. It is the practices of men, & the invasion of electronic devices that seperates us from that Spirit that envelopes all living things. When you pull away from the artificial world, return to Nature & meditate in silence at night then you "hear" God's Spirit again
The majesty of Native Americans is their continuous heritage, ingrained in their heredity through the generations, which keeps them attuned to the Spirit. Christ's teachings do not allow Christian's to practice their religion, but that doesn't change the fact that those same teachings require us to peaceably respect them as neighbors. I didn't come here to preach Christianity, but the thinking & actions of so many Christians who fail to recognize who their neighbor really is & love them as the First Command is not something I can ignore. We do not have to adopt ways of faiths contrary to our own, but you cannot love your neighbor unless & until you take the time to understand them. And in learning other about other cultures & peoples, we widen our understanding of ourselves, of God, & of the Universe
_The Greatest Commandment is this, that you love Jehovah your God with your whole heart, with your whole soul, & your whole mind, & you must love your neighbor as yourself. This is the summary of the Law, & the prophets_ ~Deuteronomy 6; Matthew 22:37
The difference between being alone and being lonely is that you choose to be alone but feel being pushed into loneliness (as an outcast).
The best advice I can give to struggling lone wolf brothers is:
“You have been marred,
you have been scarred.
That's not OK,
but YOU are OK.
You'll never heal
and always feel
the marring you got
and the scarring you got.
That's not OK,
but YOU are OK.
Now that you have them,
the mar's and the scars
that are not OK -
feel free to choose them,
feel free to use them
in stories you tell,
in songs that you sing
in paintings you paint
in music you play
And be all OK.
(Yes, I really just came up with this one!)
Thank you..
That’s awesome Matthias. Really good advice. I’m working on that! 💗🙏Even better that you just poured that out of apparently nowhere. Love how that happens.
great and beautiful way to put it
"...and this loneliness won't leave me alone" - yes Mr. Otis Redding, we're slowly catching on.
O.K., enough of a teaser, in my opinion and according to research done on the subject, people are loneliest in crowds. Either consciously or unconsciously I think Otis knew this and craved his aloneness. Where else can one discover the love of oneself?
A disclaimer, I have nothing in the way of the proper credentials to be talking this way, but if one gives aloneness a try, I think they might like it.
@@jima3345 tis true, although not for everyone - which is why we're a rare breed if you will.
Very good advice, I will be looking out for more advice from you, thank you.
@@frayamortensen Yes, an old mistake on my part, thinking everyone else is just like me, thanks.
@@jima3345 and @frayamortensen it’s like when growing up, that’s all we know-until we get old enough to have sleepovers + see how other families operate! Love this. The world is one of my primary totem animals-the ideal integration being comfortable either alone (eg single parent) or in company (while honoring one’s boundaries!)
My marriage was a trauma bond for 25 years. By year 12 I had become an alcoholic and addicted to drugs. I hated me, I hit bottom, I had kids and I needed to change, I got sober for me so I could be better for me for them. I went back to school, I started my own business, I pushed to be better and find the guy in me that I missed being, I was alone in a house full of people. We divorced five years ago and it was the best thing that happened to me unbeknownst to me at the time. I trauma bonded three more times until I finally realized what I was doing. I’ve been alone for four years, I drive truck, I have one amazing hobby I’ve always wanted to do. I totally enjoy being alone, I see my positive none toxic friends that I’ve kept in my life as I cruise around in my truck. Life is simple, life is basic, life is peaceful and trauma free. I’ve seen what I’ve done and I know what’s good for me.
I’ve been sober 16 years now and have a few very good friends. It’s all I need in life. It’s peaceful finally 😊
Bravo Paul! 12yrs. Separated 6mos. later. I drive too. Even got a dog! 😊
The difference between solitude and isolation is an invisible line you cross somewhere in your mind, that then permeates through the rest of your being. The trick is being able to know where that line is, and how to find the right side of it to be on. And then being there. Thankyou Fraya, wishing you well 🙂
That's incredibly profound! And, TRUE. Thank you for sharing 🔥
Solitude is a choice... a mindset... a behavior. Isolation is from circumstance... and choosing to be there for betterment... a re-charging, or for change.
Well said, it's all about a state of mind. And you can feel happy and at peace and then move into loneliness, or vice versa quite suddenly depending on your mood.
Solitude is a choice. Isolation is not, it is done to you.
Needed this. took me years to realise I wasn't weird for being a lone wolf, it's just how we roll, widowed young and working by myself I spend most of my time alone and need more . I'm starting to embrace being alone. My motivation died along with my partner so still trying to get that back and enjoy creating again. PS You have beautiful eyes, something my partner also had although hers were brown, she could make me putty in her hands just looking at me with her smile.Even a lone wolf can miss the company of that one person that was special to us.
Wow, very sorry for your loss. All best wishes!
Jesus
You're not abstract you're stronger most people in the world can't do what you can and survive without people.
So I'm always gonna be alone????
@@reavenpoe4364 don't feel bad alot of people in this world are zombies anyhow basically worthless
Hello fellow lone wolves. I felt alone so much more when I was younger and actually had a wide circle of friends and was pursuing relationships. As Ive aged, I have realized that I enjoy my own company (and fur family) more and I'm in a creative state more often. After being alone for quite a while, the thought of sharing my bed or my space with someone is not appealing at all. Yet it would be awesome if I could find someone like myself and we could have our own houses with a shared area. Close but not intrusive. Thanks for pointing out the addiction to wanting relationships and falling into patterns with much disappointment.. I'm past that now. A partner would be nice but is not required for my own contentment. Love n peace
Reading your comment I'm smiling. My wife of 32 years is next door (75 ft away) in her tiny home with her dogs, talking to them like children. She's watching black and white films from the 40's and fixing food I would consider poison. I sit content in my own little house sipping coffee and blissfully surfing YT videos and commentary, which she couldn't care less about. Later we will get together and hike trails at a local park and possibly dinner out. Close but not intrusive. All the best to you riverlove
We are family us wolves we aren't strange we are strong within and we see the world as it is no haze and we feel energy good and bad and we prefer our own spaces.
I feel the same. I'm nearly 60.
@@Robnord1That sounds awesome.
Hello, I hear you, fellow lone wolf 💜
Most of my favorite moments have occurred when I've been out in nature miles from anyone else. That's the only time I feel uninterrupted. The older I get, the more I recognize my need for it as a healing and regenerative tool. Excellent synopsis! ❤
I've been following Dr Judith Orloff for few years now, who's considered the Godmother of Empaths, and she says daily meditation and walks in nature are vitally important for the health of Empaths. Which is basically what you said and encompasses all needs. Because really being out deep in the wilderness is very meditative. I need to get away alone over xmas I think. INTO THE WILD is one of my favourite films of all time.
Miles from nowhere
I guess I'll take my time
Oh yeah, to reach there
Look up at the mountain
I have to climb
Oh yeah, to reach there.
Lord my body has been a good friend
But I won't need it when I reach the end
Miles from nowhere
I guess I'll take my time
Oh yeah, to reach there
I creep through the valleys
And I grope through the woods
'Cause I know when I find it my honey
It's gonna make me feel good, yes
I love everything
So don't it make you feel sad
'Cause I'll drink to you, my baby
I'll think to that, I'll think to that.
Miles from nowhere
Not a soul in sight
Oh yeah, but it's alright
I have my freedom
I can make my own rules
Oh yes, the ones that I choose
Lord my body has been a good friend
But I won't need it when I reach the end
I love everything
So don't it make you feel sad
'Cause I'll drink to you, my baby
I'll think to that, I'll think to that.
Oh yeah
Miles from nowhere
Guess I'll take my time
Oh yeah, to reach there.
cat stevens
“If you want to find the secrets of the universe, think in terms of energy, frequency and vibration.
_Nikola Tesla
Nature can improve man - Man can not improve nature!
@@SegoMan My hope is that Nature destroys man before man destroys Nature.
1000% me
I sometimes feel like my narcissistic traumas have ruined my life, but in retrospect they were lessons I had to learn, otherwise they wouldn't have repeated.
So, to my ex-narcs...thank you for making me wiser. Hope you get a chance to experience compassion some day...starting with yourselves.
This ironically and paradoxically came up in my feed. First off I'm cough cough a Male, but I consider myself to be a lone Wolf and sonewhat of an empath with a twist. The events of the last few years have consolidated my self propelled, universal calling and inner quest for the truth of all things hidden in the Matrix of things in this messed up World. So after many deep dives into hidden information, or really unraveling the disinformation of many things that I questioned.😮 There are many very dark things I've come across where Ive had to put my empathy on my sleeve and let the negative energy of these truths to go through me so to speak. Or I wouldn't be able to continue, or I would just get too affected by it. So I became stronger and that's where the Lone Wolf comes in.. So your message really resonates with me in so much as there are similarities as the Lone Wolf, in that I've come to really dislike society as a whole, but find it very hard to connect with people, because after doing so much research about many topics and hidden truths, I find people in greneral are clueless to whats really going on, that they're so distracted, so aloof, so shallow and so programmed by the negative media fear mongering and so I can't relate to the normies I like to call them. So just really trying to find myself and my pack, but its a variation of how you're describing the lone Wolf Empath. Its been a roller coaster ride, but hearing your message of inspiration came at a good time. Godspeed!!
Same here, you're not alone, but it is difficult to relate to the normies as you call them in anything other than the most superficial of ways. It's like living in a completely different world, with people right next to you who are oblivious to the existence of it, and would prefer to not know about it.
I hear you! Being someone who sees and perceives the world in this unique "different" way - has us assuming that other people do too! And when we come to realize that this is not the case can be a little unsettling. Carry on I say! You're here to forge your own path and that you will and ARE!
Welcome to black pill: home of "It is what it is".
Just don't fall down the conspiracy theory rabbithole. Lots of people get lost to that and lose everything as a result.
Listen to Ralph Smart / Infinite waters You are shedding the 3d Matrix and transcending into the 5G reality
Geesh, hits the nail on the head. Not sure how one becomes an expert on this topic, but I'm glad it's being recognized as an archetype. I've been living this reality for 60 years and have always just considered myself a freak and outcast. Thank you for the validation. At this point in life I'm not sure if anyone would or could have a relationship with me or what that person might look like. My former marriage and all of my relationships have been a struggle since alone time is so important to me. Would be a great topic for another video. Best
Oh my goodness! You are talking SO much sense that I feel like I’ve stumbled upon my holy grail. I’m 53 years and fallen prey to those trauma bonds way to many times. I can’t thank you enough 🙏
This describes me very well. I am a very creative and empathic person, but I also become unfocused, unmotivated, anxious and depressed at times. I feel other's feelings deeply. I dropped out of school, went on to graduate college with a 4.0 GPA, then a doctorate in clinical psychology and a long career. I was a dedicated musician. But still I need to learn. You've given me some clarity, Fraya, that I will now begin to recognize and work on in myself.
I realize how much time I need and I really like spending time alone.ive been this way my entire life. Being around people wears me out so I don't have much longing to be social. I do enjoy attending church, but I leave immediately after service. I like to myself and enjoy my own company.
She described me in college , now that I’m married with kids , I feel more at peace , yet I still crave my alone time, and I love spending time with my wife and kids. I’ve learned you have to compromise , your time , it’s not always on your schedule , sometimes on someone else’s. That’s a bitter pill to swallow.
This is my story 3000% . This really makes sense and gave me chilling goosebumps. I am glad I stumbled upon your channel.
You are so spot on with your description. I am 70 years old, and have been a lone wolf empath all of my adult life. I feel deeply for people that are suffering, yet I can only spend a short time with them. Having PTSD and depression, I must protect my own emotional well being very carefully. I am perfectly happy being by myself, and when I feel the need for company, I visit one of my carefully chosen friends. And they are all OK with this. I was addicted to alcohol, but also to building and collecting things. My Ex was my trauma bond, and happened exactly as you described it!. She often accused me of being obsessive. Thank you for making this video, it made me feel much better about myself! :)
Spot on!!! INFJ go hard in trauma bond cycles 👉🤪💨
Okay wow you really just put my personality into words lol.. I’ve gotten a lot better when it comes to the trauma bond aspect because I realized how important alone time was to me.. so now that I allow myself to enjoy being alone it’s a lot harder for me to get roped into a situation where I might bond to someone bad for my mental.
Now my creative side is flourishing!
Thanks for this video! It feels good to see so many people similar to me in the comments!
We may be lone wolves, but we aren’t alone wolves! 🤘🏽
You are stronger than many others especially within your perceptions are stronger hold your head up we are the pack and most aren't like us we're unique 👍👏
Wow. This is the best summation I’ve heard between codependency and relationships!! Fantastic!! This should be plastered everywhere for culture to reflect on.
Not in a up side down world!
I’m not BY myself, I am WITH myself & connected to all of divine creation💝🙏💫
I'm listening to this right now and it's a s if the universe palced this video in my youtube feed just at the right moment in my life. I have chills as I'm listening to these words. I can relate to all of these traits so much it's kind of spooky. I've struggled with interpersonal relationships my whole life because of the way that I am. As a child I would spend hours on my own, perfectly content because I was very creative and I would come up with all sorts of things to keep me entertained for days. When I did bond with someone like a childhood friend, I would care about them deeply. I was always very selective but once I chose someone it was for good. But somehow these relationships would always become a sort of addiction in a way. This transferred to my now adult life. I'm perfectly happy alone but feel so lonely and I've tried relationships but I somehow end up with partners that, like you said, put me up on a pedistal only to toss me in trash afterwards which has traumatized me a lot and makes me reluctant to get involved with someone again. Because of this I struggle with my creativity. Almost not allowing myself to do what I know I love as punishement or I just lack the motivation or inspiration to be creative anymore these days. Especially when I'm going through a heart break.
Thank you for sharing your experience and i'm glad it resonated so deeply with you! You're definitely not alone.
I thought the same thing.
You’re not allowing yourself to do what you love as punishment.. that about sums it up for me.
I punish myself when things go south on me with relationships by avoiding my creativity even if that’s the very thing that can lift me up out of my loneliness
@@omegaforce1262wow, that's what I do and hadn't realised. Thanks for sharing ❤
Me too.
I read somewhere recently we need to be around people who are doing the same kind of thing as us, for our creative endeavours. In my ideal world, I would work most of the day, then meet other creatives at a café at 4 or 5pm!
This is a great summary. All of these aspects tie in to the cycles I end up getting caught in. After leaving a relationship I'll hyperfocus on one of my interests. After a while I'll get bored/lazy and abandon the good habits I've developed. But with a brain that is always churning out hypothetical scenarios it's easy to fall prey to marketing and get caught up in another interest. Letting imagination take control instead of focusing on the reality of your situation.
The hard part for me is being alone I'll fall back into familiar habits that may not be in my best self interest. The benefit of other people is having someone to help guide your energy. The downside is the people that will use that energy selfishly. So often you'll still find yourself extremely selective in who you associate with and too many negative relationships lead you to become more and more wary of others intentions.
It's also hard for normal people to deal with us. We'll have this need for intense interaction and then say, "Okay you can go away now."
Hyper awareness is incredibly difficult and is nonstop. I don't want to live my life in solidarity, yet I crave it. I set boundaries that ended up I cut myself off from society. It used to be I was constantly helping or fixing people whilst taking on their feelings and pain to be my own. Then you realize you as an empath are always held to a higher standard b9th personally and professionally (constantly living up to and the one who was expected (a life lived by double standards) which for me was a life lived under constant judgement.
Great content and wisdom. I subscribed and liked. I wish you happy holidays.
Thanks for creating such relatable content.
Kashton
Thank you! I’m loving being alone! But I was struggling with wondering if I’m okay? Your words are so helpful!! Thank you ❤
This was absolutely life changing.
Thank you, Ma'am!!
I appreciate your time!
No wonder I'm always so exhausted and on edge
I'm always in my feelings.
I love just as deep as I go when I'm down has been the story of my life
You think those are your feelings?
Thank you! You've helped me realize I shouldn't expect myself to feel guilty about wanting to be alone. Because I don't and rarely feel lonely. I've separated myself from toxic family members (shared trauma cycle). Chose not to participate in the once annual expected family get-togethers. I'm over it. Moving on. Making my life my own.
There's a solution now
80/20 really describes the life I like lead. Life with my spouse and kids isn’t bad cause they all honor my need for time alone. And they have their own varying levels of need for interaction, and we somehow have a balance. Being forced into too much outside interaction can upset the balance. I did fall hard for my soul mate and have a period of disenchantment, but we worked through it and are now very happily married 22 years. And all the reasons I initially fell for him are still valid.
Wow! Sounds like me 💯. Down to the self sabotage.. Ive accepted my alone time and Im happy with that. Been controlling my emotions also.
You just described the past 20 years of my life Fraya. I'm stuck still, with breaking out of my cycle of laziness and procrastination, trying to find something to get passionate about again and forge ahead to develop a better and more fulfilling existence. Is it too late at age 46? I like to believe that it isn't.
Same with me, I`m 44 .
Same with me
Passionate?…you want to be dispassionate
Forge ahead?…what’s wrong with today, just take one day at a time
Change your mindset, change your life
How about 63? Is it too late?
@@Indefinite3Point14 That's awesome! Good luck!
This is the BEST explanation of my battle. Thank you! ❤ I can send this to my friends or anyone else who doesn't understand me.
This video was unbelievable for me. I have spent many years getting on the other side of most of the things you reveal in this video. You are so right and it is refreshing to find another human out there who truly understands the nature of who and how I am as well as many others. I am a Lone Wolf, INFJ-J Empath, and have spent countless years after my marriage ended learning about who I am and how I'm wired. I am so glad to have found your channel and am now one of your new subscribers. Thank you.
Finally understand the Trauma bond. Thx
This is so amazing to hear. I am sitting here listening to this and crying a bit. And I love your hair!!!
awww.... sending love - you're not alone. and Thank you
Thank you Fraya, for your accurate description of the Lone Wolf Empath, or as the subtitles said, a Low Molf.
Creativity is my passion, my reason for getting up in the morning. I have RUclips, a coffee maker and a constant supply of marijuana.
Haven't had a relationship in 16 years, been severely disabled for the last 12 years and I spend all day pondering, life, existence, motivation and inspiration.
I'm content to be on my own, genuinely.
Idk how this video ended up being recommended to me, but I’m so thankful. I feel so seen and understood it’s scary. I’ve experienced every thing you said, especially the cycles of addiction (which I never knew how to classify, with people specifically). Thank you so much for the perspective and advice!
Excellent! Well written and well presented. Thank you!
Hey! I needed this video 10 years ago😂😂 thank you so much for the incredibly eye opening insight!! Also, I laughed because by the end of the video you were also identifying yourself as one unlike the first half. You rock!
I had no idea i was a Lone Wolf Empath till I watched this video. You've just explained my entire life to me as if you've known me fo or 20 years.
I hope this helps fellow empaths. Imagine the narcs you have to deal with in a babies cot. That is what you are dealing with. Meditate and try not to take it personal. Just stay mindful if you find yourself ruminating and nip it in the bud. Just accept these ‘adult-babies’ are in society, and give ‘em a wide birth. Let them throw their temper tantrums on their own.
This was so timely for me. I've actually written myself a poem this morning. 😢
Here after this video turned up in my Recommendations; Various times I’ve actually been called both a lone wolf and an empath, so I’ve been familiar with both terms, but I’d never seen them both used together before somehow. Then I saw this video and BOOM!! It sooo clicked!
Love this video, so many things about what you’ve said here which resonate for me, especially flight/flight trauma cycle and the creativity!
Brilliantly insightful video, and I love your presenting style!
Subbed! 🙌
Thank you, Fraya! This is exactly the sort of info that I need.
Datapoints:
🚹 INTP
Fearful Avoidant
Emotional Disregulation, but also
Intellectual Bypassing of emotions
(ASD+ADHD “very likely” - no official diagnosis - I am on an SNRI).
People-pleasing but also Demand-avoidant
History of addictions and other problematic behaviour including violence and malicious compliance
Familial trauma, pathetic role-models, CSA, gynophobia and misandry
So true and spot on ..I am a natural lone wolf in a very messed up world
I’ve had to be rude to narcissists to get them off my back. Goes way against my character, but it’s the only way they get the message. I’m not their supply. You are not their supply. Be rude, tell them in no uncertain terms. Make them associate pain with you.
I'm glad I stumbled onto this video, you nailed it completely about my situations of past and present!
Ha! As my 12 year old grandson said; “Grandpa I’m not worried about being home alone, I’m worried about not being home alone” I love that kid.
This is so weird because a couple of days ago I started calling myself a Lone Wolf! I wanted to put that on the back of a jacket and saw myself wearing it. That's very cool!!! LOVE this!
YES!! and that's exactly how I started to make this series - this is the 3rd Lone Wolf video I've released in the last few weeks (with more to come). I woke up to the Lone Wolf Energy - it came to me too one day to call myself this, and it's been part of this path toward growing levels of empowerment! Thanks for watching the video Rhonda!
@@frayamortensenI am not sure if this is what is called a synchronicity, and I’m not sure if I am a lone wolf but in the last six months at least 20 Tarot readers that I follow the Wolf keeps shows up in my readings 🤷♀️
Love myself, love my friends, love being alone. Am a deeply empathic artist, writer and motivational psychic counselor. Solitude is my renewal space. Being in recovery (and remission) from addiction for years brings wisdom and peace of mind. Add daily meditation and prayer for a lovely life. And a pretty house, minimally furnished with lots of art, big picture windows overlooking a spacious garden view. Trying to keep myself from adding a love affair. I simply can’t afford one because I’m building my career(s) and when I fall in love I can’t think of anything or anyone else. Hard to believe I’m having so much fun all by myself, because, as I’ve said, I’m not by nature an introvert. I think I’ll have ice cream and coffee for breakfast while waiting for a new, surprise client calling for a reading, try on some clothes, watch an episode of “Downton Abbey” and call my friend “T” who needs help with her website. What a life! ❤
ohhhh i absolutely relate. I love operating from an intuitive flow instead of a rigid way of living - although I do love familiarity and predictability - which by myself I am predictably unpredictable - but in a relationship I see the way it can be all consuming. "Single on purpose" is an enjoyable phase and can carry on for as long as it needs to, especially for us entrepreneurial creative types. Much love!
I just feel like I've seen the most important video after a decade-long quest for understanding that I've pursued for a variety of reasons. It describes a large part of my life so much that I wish all those who are only at the beginning of this search to see exactly this video as soon as possible.
Thank you Fraya. Instant subscription.
This is so beautiful and helpful, brilliantly simple, succinct, straightforward. Great start to 2024!
I cannot sleep and I clicked on this a few minutes ago. Fraya ..This hit so hard, I am both relieved and shocked. This describes my whole life better than anything I have ever read, studied, or listened to..ever .. It is so accurate, it hurt. Thank you. I have been berated by others and I have berated myself for every single thing you said. Now, at least, I know what I am.
Do you offer any way to help me to learn how to live a healthier life? Thank you so much.
If you learned how to be alone you are never lonely.
All 3 mentioned traits hitting on spot and are expressed - in my personal case - with an Human Design "Manifestor" and an INFP-A (Mediator) personality.
Getting known some rules from stoic philosophy helps to keep your thoughts in check while you are with yourself and living out more the creative side than the tendency to addictions.
It is advisable to reduce screen time to an minimum and carefully picking your partner for life. Once found, tell honest how and who you are and be as much as you can loyal, honest and forthcoming to this particular being.
My personal advises for a meaningful journey with those traits.
Nailed it. Points of internal conflict can make one vulnerable to the "toxics:" Setting and maintaining appropriate boundaries and identifying unreasonable expectations is hard. If you like to be supporting in relationships, you can go too far, give to much. Pathological types readily spot your kindness and caring nature and exploit you. Their increasing expectations creep up and leave you feeling tapped out.
Well said... I can tell you - in my case addiction is not allowed. I will no longer accept anything or anyone who demands of me. Ask if you wish, do not demand! My acceptance of who and what I am came with a requisite soul reflection and retooling of my needs and satisfying others needs. I was a victim of naive abuse from a post WW2 divorcee. Catering to others was fundamental to my Mother - to me that turned into rebellion of "acceptable behavior". I gave up on responsible forms of close relationships - they always seem so transactional. Therapy hasn't helped - but alone times of long periods have proved cathartic and empowering... Thank You for this - I am a Lone Wolf Empath! I never knew!
I'm a lone wolf empath. Well done Fraya!!!
I just separateed from an NPD spouse. And this desribes me to a T. Long road ahead but I seem to be doing ok with the solitude. Lots of self-evaluation. Can NOT repeat the same mistake. But trusting again is going to hard work and lots of prayer.
I'm just left my narcissistic husband also..prayers for you ❤
always shy away from "identifying" with anything [i.e. lone-wolf empath] because it forms a "me' that is decided by society, but what youre saying hit me in the core; intriguing.
Stumbled on this and you've literally just nailed me. Nobody's ever done that... this makes so much sense. Thank you ❤
As far back as I can remember I wanted to be a social butterfly. My father put an end to that when I was 12 and he got 'friendly' and friends wouldn't come by any more. It got worse and I am still just dying for social contact. I am no contact with the awful family but just don't have the skills to belong to groups. My greatest desire has become to own a hostel in somewhere like Algeria or Morocco, so I can be surrounded by happy adventurous (socially adjusted) young people. I missed that entire part of my life :(
"why would you want to become a social butterfly? you would already be one if you are. taming the ego helps to not always feel like you are missing out on something. then, when you are in algeria or morocco, you can be calm and learn what you seek" - kimjar ganajoo
don't blame your father, that's pathetic. you are an adult (I assume), take it into your own hands and go be social, if that's what you desire.
You done explained everything I'm currently going through. Thank you.
I describe myself as a Humble Badass Warrior of the Wilderness . . .
My resume on life is evident of this trUth, as I am trUly one of the most blessed of Gods children to ever stand and walk upon this plane . . .
Absolutely zero regrets, as I have lived a life of purpose with my business partner, my Creator . . .
Thank you for sharing these trUths, of those who thrive being alone loving ourselves as we love our Father, seeking the key of knowledge, to know God . . .
We are here to overcome all things . . . Even the world . . .
Peace,
~Dwd.
Glad I found your channel. As a certified INFJ (I say certified because I denied it until a therapist had me take a couple of written tests :i), this concisely yet thoroughly described one of my long term struggles--social connection v alone time. I've always gotten the message that it's unhealthy to be alone as much as I prefer to be alone, so this was a breath of fresh air. Especially appreciate your suggestions on how to find the best balance between connection and what I call my quiet time. You have a new subscriber with bells on.
This came along at the right time for me. 8 months off alcohol. (also 8 months after a brain pres and seizure) 6 months after getting dumped by a long term partner. And three weeks into a tolerance break that looks like it will actually be a permanent cessation of cannabis usage. All of December, I have been rapidly cycling between depression and mania. I have been experiencing much reward in this period but I also feel like a danger to myself in either cycle. (deep despair to impulsivity. back and forth) I have to try and make art today. Thank you for recording this video. And, I mean thank you very much.
Hope you doing ok. You have made a lot of big changes and need to give it some time. ❤
@@chesterdesmond666 Thanks, for asking. I'm doing better than I expected. The cycling is over and I am (for me) remarkably free of anxiety. Visited family without dread. Actually had a great a time. It will be nice to see them again in a few months. I recognize that this is a honeymoon with sobriety and there is much work to be done. I don't think group recovery programs are a good fit for me but I am not ruling that out. I am determined to stay as close to my current equilibrium as I can. So, I'm living healthfully, more orderly and being honest with myself about things that may pull me away from my intentions and personal goals. It's healthy to share these feelings so, thank you for reaching out and giving me an opportunity to do so. Have a Happy New Year.
Wow excellent work you have beautifully articulated, precisely what I have been commonly described as alone, wolf and path, or a sigma and path. In fact, I started a group about a year ago with that title in it was very short descriptions, of what kind of person would be most commonly identified, and you are spot on, nice job sharing it with my group and am encouraging them to subscribe and comment their views. I look forward to more videos on various topics regarding archetypes traits in human behavior. How nice of you to show up on my feed!❤
oh yes, glad it reached you and thank you for sharing this comment here - the addiction cycle/trauma bond is a common area that needs to be understood and healed as part of that path toward empowerment! Much love.
This is certainly me as well. Striking the balance has been my life's course. But I understand and have come to respect alone time. It's like air for me, helps to balance my equilibrium. So true..the ratio is necessary. I attract people who need healing and I don't mind imparting insights and extending acts of service. However, my love life has been the blind spot. But I've come to accept yet remain hopeful that I've collected solid and sage lessons. I trust that I will meet someone that will love me authentically. I am the "one that got away". Yet truly it was escape, it was several dodged bullets. So grateful I have found peace w who I am. I appreciate this message. Lots of truth. So glad I've learned the word no. And forgiveness is a part of my practice- I forgive myself as well forgive others.
Wow. Thank you. I was speechless at the end. Your 13 minute video explained what's been happening to me for decades. Now it all makes sense. I hope more people are made aware of this.
My parents say I wasn't introverted initially. Than I was molested at an early age and I slowly withdrew. I was always very empathic and a deep feeler. I also had a litany of narcissists surrounding me in church, and family(not my parents). Than I made big mistakes in my loneliness and depression. Which only encouraged my self loathing and warrantless shame.
..
As a 30+yr old man, I am now finally piecing these things together. And I am slowly but surely releasing all this negativity from my life. And interestingly enough, the outgoing little boy that was me---before i was essentially contaminated, is starting to reemerge. My TRUTH SELF! 😁
And its already starting to change my dynamic with people around, including my beloved immediate family 👍❤
I wish teachers and so on would be more aware of outgoing social children who suddenly become loners. To survivors it's such a red flag.
I'm 64 now, late-diagnosed (at 56) with autistic spectrum condition (and I mean 'condition', not 'disorder!) I am and always have been highly-sensitive and creative. I first learned to shut myself away at around the age of 8, after my experiences at the hands of others at school (teachers as well as fellow pupils) led me to understand that other people could pretty much be divided into 2 groups: those indifferent towards me, and those hostile towards me. I'm a published fiction writer and poet, and have worked for the last 20 years in the social care sector - principally as a carer for people with learning disabilities. My experiences at the hands of others could easily have turned me into a misanthrope. Whilst it's true to say that I hold many people in contempt, and have very few people whom I trust implicitly, I nonetheless am deeply empathic, and always support the underdog, the marginalised, the oppressed, the dispossessed. My sensitivity can reduce me to tears over the death of a wild animal - but it has also fed my creativity, my perceptiveness, and my deep desire to be available for any who need help. I live alone, cannot ever imagine cohabiting with another human being again, and look forward to Christmas Day entirely on my own with my books, my thoughts, and any online friends around the world who may need to connect - virtually all of whom will be fellow autists, people with mental health issues, etc. Although I am alone, I am never lonely. Yes, I have had my struggles with addiction - but these were largely fed by my sense of inadequacy at not being able to be like everyone else, and fit in. I no longer see that as inadequacy. I see it as my main strength. I'm what you might call an extroverted introvert. I enjoy performance - singing, acting, being in a spotlight. But it has to be on my terms. And afterwards, I go off stage and go off by myself. Parties? Never! Likewise ordinary social occasions. Onstage, I control the situation. In any other social context, I don't. Oh yes... I have attracted plenty of toxic wolves in my time (they also, naturally, fed addictions)! I have an instinct for them now. I have developed my instincts over many years and have learned to trust them. They're almost another 'sense' for me. I know when I'm with the 'wrong' people, or in 'wrong' situations. Through my writing, I'm a natural and strong communicator. That communication, though, requires - for me - a high level of detachment. That sounds contradictory, maybe - but I've a feeling you'll know what I mean. You see so much more when you're on the outside looking in than you are ever likely to see when you're on the inside and right in the thick of it. That's my take on it, anyway. You're so right on the 'trauma bond' issue. I fall hopelessly and helplessly in love, and very quickly - and always with people who end up being emotional vampires. I avoid relationships now - but I have a much better relationship with myself! I take much better care of myself that way. I no longer feel I need the 'validation' and 'sense of completeness' that many people say can only come through having a significant other in my life.
Beautifully written thank you 🙏
We are the same age and same person except I am an artist. Painter. Thanks for sharing.
I am an Ambivert I realized. I can be both.
I’m feeling grateful for your passion and insight. I expect a lot of people who see this are going to be able to be accepting of their conflicts with being alone, maybe find the determination to get themselves through the tedious and difficult phases of creating.
Dead on description of my life. This past year has been exceptionally trying, with several narcissists involved, and tons of drama. I took on a bully at work and felt like I fell on a hand grenade for the rest of my coworkers, then empathized with another coworker over another issue to the point of developing a limerent situation with that person, who also had several other white knights around. I’m feeling pretty beat up these days but a video like this definitely helps me understand things and answers a lot of questions I had.
This is an exact description of my year too. Only thing is the coworker I empathised with also ended up being a narcissist herself and I had to finally sit down and take stock of my patterns and cycles. I've been beaten up but I've broken through the wall with the help of God and feel very optimistic now about the future. I wish you the best also.
I’m not a deist, but I understand and agree. Everybody I worked with dealt with this issue, and I stepped up and fell on the hand grenade. Then I fell on another for this other person, and she ended up ripping out the rest of my guts that that the hand grenade didn’t get.
I ended up very bitter.
I’m a better bitter now
Love being a lone wolf, a reform extrovert. I live off-the-grid
lone wolf empath=fearful avoidant/disorganized attachment.
maybe for You. not all.
traits are exactly the same. empathic tendencies are generally equated with anxious attachment style, and lone wolf is the avoidant side. fearful avoidant is a mix of the two attachment styles. @@LaciRae
This
Fearful? I just don't like feeling people's toxic energy. I'm not afraid, just overwhelmed.
Once I accepted being a loner and an empath I found peace and the cycle of addiction ended.
*As a Lone Wolf Empath*, I Approve of this Message. 🙂 I don't have a tendency towards addiction but this is spot on. Subscribed!
Any other ADHDers in the comments?! Felt this to the core!
I've been wondering about both these things here intently lately
I haven't felt lonely in 4 years. Probably because I believe women like me and want me. I also left my narcissist. But I didn't leave just her. I left ALL women.
Never felt lonely, I love being alone.
People can be draining sometimes.
At 65, over five years sober and clean, I'm at peace in my little apartment. When I need to be around people, I go out.
I'm pretty sure she's just making all this stuff up. A lot of statements about "lone wolves" but where's the evidence, where's the logic for her assertions. Sounds plausible, right, but really she's just making stuff up for youtube views. Hey, you're not a lonely shut in, you're a lone wolf with special abilities that set you apart. We love to hear that, don't we. All these labels, and attributes, are meaningless. Being a lone wolf is not a personality trait, its more a result of the circumstances in your life that have nothing to do with you. There are many, many people who go through life alone, because for one reason or another have not formed those connections even though they would prefer to. You're not special, you're just another person whose alone.
THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME AND VIDEO. THIS HAS GIVEN ME SOME CLARITY ON SOME MATTERS.
You nailed it, thank you. I'm 68 and I still recall the pain of school and growing up. During my earlier years I found ways to despise other people but I learned that I didn't need to think of them as 'bad' just to label the reasons for my isolation. At 59 I was diagnosed with Autism, a so called 'high functioning' type. Maybe this is important but I believe it simply helps others to comprehend my distance from them. It's taken at least 65 years to come to terms that I don't need to be sociable or care if others like me. I'm just fine being content in my own company and avoiding the mine-field of social interaction. The depression has gone and I wish the world well.
Congrats on finding the closure you needed to understand you're strong not weak you see what most can't and perceive people and things better so being alone or without many is a way of life as it is with me I can survive and be happy as you can👏
It can take a very long time to reach the point you’ve got to and I congratulate you on it. For myself, I just wish I had the emotional intelligence to get there much earlier as it would have saved me a great deal of sadness in my life.
Oh dear, you just explained my whole life. If there was a label ascribed to me and my existence it would be "The lone wolf empath". Thank you for sharing this knowledge.
I'm thrilled you made this video. You really hit the nail on head with it. You must be one too.
Much love to all the lonewolf empaths!
I just stumbled on to this. Wow. This is ME. Alone, rarely lonely. ALWAYS "feeling" for some one/thing usually animals (getting teary already) in pain or alone with no one. Sometimes I HATE it. Always hurting for others. Getting tired.
This video revealed to me the truth of my nature with unbelievable accuracy. Thank you for your incredibly helpful insights!
This is a perfect description of me. I love being alone with my dogs. People drain me. I've been told all my life it's not healthy. I disagree wholeheartedly. I never get lonely. My home is surrounded by all my favorite things and I don't want to be anywhere else.
wise woman. stay true. stay aligned with your truth. That is the way.
@@frayamortensen Thank you 😊
1. wo
2. ow-wooo
3. wow
[well done] masterfully articulated. Much appreciated. can confirm...
Lovely to hear!!
Thank you for this, I'm blown away 🤯❤
You hit the nail on the head , I NEED TO BE ALONE AT THIS TIME. Alone but never lonely !
This was surprisingly relatable. I hesitated to watch this because I'm not fond of the term 'lone wolf empath' despite having told people throughout my life that I'm 'sort of a lone wolf'--I was making an excuse for myself. And I am unhappily an expert at trauma bonding as well, over too many relationships. In other words, this video really hit home. What next?
We meet each other sometimes and connect. A kitchen at a party, an almost immediate comfort in shared silence.
Alcoholism was devastation in my lifetime; itook numerous trips to hospital before I Finally quit, once and forever. Not a drop since February 2022; Thank You for your words of Great Wisdom, Fraya; and Happy New Year 2024♥
Solitude doesn't have to be loneliness. When one realises that toxic relations make you more alone than solitude does, and start taking care which company one keeps, one does all right. And at the end of the day, most relationships are transitory and fade in time.
For all our paths are alone, even if they converge for a time, and as we walk them, all one truly controls is his own hands and feet. It follows, therefore, that one ought focus on building himself with every step.
💯 thank you. I’ve been going through a serious unworthiness cycle and have felt unenthusiastic towards my arts. It’s been a very very deep cleanse and I just hope I begin to enjoy life more and being creative again.
You just described my life in short words. I'm having a trauma bond now with you 🙂