Real Freedom Hours - Empire Total War

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  • Опубликовано: 7 янв 2025

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  • @Koifish
    @Koifish  3 года назад +59

    *AMERICA! FREEDOM! THE MARATHA CONFEDERACY!* wait what *GEORGE WASHINGTON!!!*
    Install Raid for Free ✅ Mobile and PC: clik.cc/opQdK and get a special starter pack 💥 Available only for the next 30 days 💥

    • @micless4241
      @micless4241 3 года назад +2

      Fist Heart me

    • @hectorperez6160
      @hectorperez6160 3 года назад +2

      Reaal taco 🌮 hours please

    • @Ghost12314
      @Ghost12314 3 года назад +1

      Lol, did they also paid you to say that?

    • @ludmilacascaval1668
      @ludmilacascaval1668 3 года назад

      Real Portuguese Hours pwease

    • @colemanscollard2207
      @colemanscollard2207 3 года назад

      good video. stop using dixie land in your videos. its like playing the anthem of nazi germany.

  • @lephantomchickn3676
    @lephantomchickn3676 3 года назад +407

    I don't know how Koifish manages to know the history of every nation he plays as well as consistently make it funny, absolutely genius.

    • @Koifish
      @Koifish  3 года назад +126

      I read a lot and have a pretty good memory, but It's not SUPER good which sometimes makes me mix things up :D

    • @blorblin
      @blorblin 3 года назад +10

      @@Koifish I am similar in that regard.

    • @hellshing4866
      @hellshing4866 3 года назад +6

      It's freaking impressive!

    • @disabledpigeon7265
      @disabledpigeon7265 3 года назад +9

      @@Koifish oh you read books? Unsubscribed

  • @TheBobes
    @TheBobes 3 года назад +237

    Historians: "Why would our ancestors slaughter the natives in such a manner?"
    Koifish: *"THIS IS THE SHIT I WANT TO DO MAN! THIS IS FUCKIN EPIC!"*

    • @oomsou5018
      @oomsou5018 3 года назад +20

      Tbf not doing that was an alien concept to most of the planet back then.

    • @MyFunnyVids888
      @MyFunnyVids888 2 года назад +2

      @@oomsou5018 including the natives

  • @TheAlders28
    @TheAlders28 3 года назад +73

    "I WILL INVADE AFGANISTAN WITH GEORGE WASHINGTON"
    *Invades Balochistan*
    "VICTORY IN AFGHANISTAN"
    He a little confused but he got the spirit.

    • @jirkazalabak1514
      @jirkazalabak1514 Год назад

      There is no better way to honor the legacy of Operation Desert Storm than by invading the wrong country.

  • @francisconolasco8386
    @francisconolasco8386 3 года назад +18

    'We're protestants. Arguably the coolest version of Christianity. 'Cause you're allowed to killed yourself. And still go to heaven. VeRy Coool!' - Some Martin Luther-level theological gems right there

  • @MrAlex_Raven
    @MrAlex_Raven 3 года назад +69

    0:55 "Waterproof Teabags"; I don't know why but I feel that is a very under appreciated joke in this video.

  • @maciekapinski491
    @maciekapinski491 3 года назад +77

    Joking about Afghanistan now is a bold move to be sure
    I love it

  • @williamapple7705
    @williamapple7705 3 года назад +37

    That was unironically a very Nathaniel Greene-esque battle. he was all about stacking defensive lines, his most famous battle (The Battle of Guilford Courthouse) being very much like that.

  • @nothinginterestinghere.8335
    @nothinginterestinghere.8335 3 года назад +107

    "A foolish Man complains about Britain's Colonization of their lands,But a wise man Overthrows it". -George Tzu

    • @blorblin
      @blorblin 3 года назад +12

      And then colonizes other people like a boss

    • @davisdelp8131
      @davisdelp8131 3 года назад +3

      @@blorblin ye

    • @lesdodoclips3915
      @lesdodoclips3915 3 года назад

      How can the coloniser complain about what they themselves are?

  • @Tjark-cf9to
    @Tjark-cf9to 3 года назад +61

    Petition to make a custom recruitable unit called "florida men"

    • @Smelly556
      @Smelly556 2 года назад +1

      Alligator cavalry

  • @blorblin
    @blorblin 3 года назад +86

    I'm in the airport waiting in an endless stagnant line, and your sense of humor is my only salvation. Thank you carppiscine.

    • @michaelrizka
      @michaelrizka 3 года назад +12

      Hope you're not in the Kabul airport man, the line there is, "concerning"

    • @blorblin
      @blorblin 3 года назад +3

      @@michaelrizka yeah I was at LAX, but my dad joked about how it looked like the photos from Kabul.

  • @ikeabeancan
    @ikeabeancan 3 года назад +54

    As an Ohioan, I can conclude that this video is factual, however, it doesn't showcase Ohio's godly reign over humanity, and that's the only downside.

    • @carltonleboss
      @carltonleboss 3 года назад +6

      Wait, it's all Ohio?

    • @chasegay1209
      @chasegay1209 3 года назад +8

      @@carltonleboss always has been

    • @wotan8881
      @wotan8881 3 года назад +5

      From Michigan. FUCK OHIO

    • @Redguyiscool
      @Redguyiscool 3 года назад +2

      Ohio top 5 worst state

    • @shanezorn7882
      @shanezorn7882 3 года назад +2

      As a Michigander I say that’s bullshit

  • @andrewmellen8092
    @andrewmellen8092 2 года назад +2

    A Swede singing an Irish-American Civil War song…not something you see everyday😂

  • @Ballin4Vengeance
    @Ballin4Vengeance 3 года назад +13

    “No taxation without representation, because United States has become an independent nation.”
    I don’t remember this line from Hamilton

  • @BigBossXCV
    @BigBossXCV 3 года назад +1

    6:36 Another settlement needs your help

  • @wayawendigo9557
    @wayawendigo9557 2 года назад +1

    3:20 I’m native and this is the hardest I’ve laughed in a while

  • @vegetableman3911
    @vegetableman3911 3 года назад +1

    Playing ‘British Grenadiers’ as the Americans slaughter the natives is the most blursed thing ever

  • @TheSykoRC
    @TheSykoRC 3 года назад +1

    Waterproof teabags? Thats genius. You only Need on teabag for the Rest of your Life

  • @mateuszmazur6222
    @mateuszmazur6222 3 года назад +28

    The Spiffing Brit would be disappointed in this video. *Shakes head in Queens English*

  • @stxrenegade
    @stxrenegade 2 года назад +1

    OMFG i starting cough laughing at "water proof teabags"

  • @MonsterCC
    @MonsterCC 3 года назад +2

    Washing-ton Washing-ton,
    Six foot eight, weighs a ducking ton.

  • @parkergiele
    @parkergiele 3 года назад +27

    Quite the timing to invade Afghanistan..

  • @nickolasvulcan9536
    @nickolasvulcan9536 3 года назад +1

    Not even a minute into the video and Koifish is being bayzed

  • @kabob0077
    @kabob0077 3 года назад +49

    Whenever Koifish uploads, I know it's going to be a good day. Now, *Clears throat*
    AS THE DARKNESS FALLS AND AMERICA CALLS
    ONE MAN SPREADS HIS WINGS AS THE BATTLE BEGINS
    MAY THE LAND LAY CLAIM UNTO GEORGE'S NAME

  • @SpaceKnight105
    @SpaceKnight105 3 года назад +2

    America the motion picture but it’s koi fish

  • @MedjayofFaiyum
    @MedjayofFaiyum 3 года назад +3

    Koifish: I COULD PUNCH A BALD EAGLE
    Me, an intellectual: And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how Koifish became the 250th President of the United States of America

  • @fivestarfire
    @fivestarfire 3 года назад +2

    "Copper-bottom keels~ Cannonades with the fur~" -T-pain probably.

  • @jesja12
    @jesja12 3 года назад +3

    Waterproof teabags could actually have helped at a certain party in Boston.

  • @walnzell9328
    @walnzell9328 3 года назад +29

    United States of America: No taxation without representation!
    The US territories of Guam, Puerto Rico, American Samoa, US Virgin Islands, and the Northern Mariana Islands: Bruh.

    • @DIEGhostfish
      @DIEGhostfish 3 года назад +7

      They don't pay federal income tax. Not sure about socsec.

    • @Baldwin-iv445
      @Baldwin-iv445 3 месяца назад

      ​@@DIEGhostfishThey do pay social security, though I don't know if the money goes to socsec itself.

  • @israelg9953
    @israelg9953 3 года назад +5

    Koifish wasn't the president we voted for but he's the president we needed

  • @arkadyromanov7803
    @arkadyromanov7803 3 года назад +3

    The waterproof teabag joke almost excused the raid ad.

  • @punishedluke3406
    @punishedluke3406 3 года назад +3

    Missed an opportunity to loose Kabul

  • @ryanrusch3976
    @ryanrusch3976 3 года назад +3

    "And more regulations than you can shake a stick at" Why must the Swede be correct!

  • @kayisminehue1536
    @kayisminehue1536 3 года назад +1

    Those poems are becoming better and better by each episode

  • @walnzell9328
    @walnzell9328 3 года назад +4

    4:02 It's probably scabies actually. Benjamin Franklin was quite the player.

  • @Threxer
    @Threxer 3 года назад +6

    Luckily the Big Mac hadn't been invented yet, or else your armies would have halved movement speed.

  • @marcksman7896
    @marcksman7896 3 года назад +2

    someone tell Koifish if he punches a bald eagle then he'd be commiting a federal crime under the Bald and Golden Eagle Protection Act.

  • @falan9103
    @falan9103 3 года назад +5

    cmon koifish WE NEED TO LIBERATE KABUL

  • @Wooper160atThePond
    @Wooper160atThePond 3 года назад +3

    Kabul would never have fallen if Koifish was in charge

    • @Baldwin-iv445
      @Baldwin-iv445 3 месяца назад

      He would do what must be done.

  • @ZeDawgear
    @ZeDawgear 3 года назад

    3:07 That joke was so funny it darn near killed me, but that's ok cause I still get to go to Heaven! >;D

  • @odysseycreedgaming3779
    @odysseycreedgaming3779 3 года назад +2

    He knows more then real usa citizens

  • @pjthehomelessmage
    @pjthehomelessmage 3 года назад +2

    This man throws around more rhymes than Steph Curry throws 3s

  • @luishart5279
    @luishart5279 3 года назад +3

    I love how koifish has the same musical repertoire as I do.

  • @kevinhamby2969
    @kevinhamby2969 3 года назад +2

    Why did the water proof tea bag joke make me laugh so hard😂😂😂

  • @WeeCookie96
    @WeeCookie96 3 года назад +2

    Koifush is exactly what Afghanistan needs right now

  • @reallyFrogman
    @reallyFrogman 3 года назад +5

    Regulations? Not in my country!
    Yes I've had 4 heart attacks this week due to the unhealthy fast food but at least I'm free

  • @mikeymike3835
    @mikeymike3835 3 года назад

    "And mislabel it as PASTA" LMAO 😂😂
    Im dead.

  • @YunsAvatar
    @YunsAvatar 3 года назад +2

    13:41 This line plays a lot more sad this week.

  • @dominicd1294
    @dominicd1294 3 года назад

    i have waited for this for so long

  • @hectorperez6160
    @hectorperez6160 3 года назад +5

    Real taco 🌮 hours please!!!!!!

  • @mchagnon7
    @mchagnon7 3 года назад

    2:48 Translation: This wig will turn you into a total chad.

  • @nothsa1107
    @nothsa1107 3 года назад

    I have never seen a video of such high meme quality.

  • @michaelrizka
    @michaelrizka 3 года назад +2

    Koifish you haven't done real freedom hours if you're not pulling out of Afghanistan 1 turn after you capture it

    • @Baldwin-iv445
      @Baldwin-iv445 3 месяца назад

      More like twenty, but I see your point.

  • @sirsnake9536
    @sirsnake9536 3 года назад +4

    Invading Baluchistan and calling it Afghanistan is a very american thing to do

  • @frederickiiprussia7699
    @frederickiiprussia7699 3 года назад

    Our amazing Swedish Coifish has delivered again

  • @Alan-zp9qd
    @Alan-zp9qd 3 года назад +3

    I hope that americans didn't go away from afghanistan after taking Kabul in the next episode.
    WAIT A SEC...

  • @drjellybeanjr1252
    @drjellybeanjr1252 3 года назад +3

    Thank you Mr Koifish for this wonderful video. In light of recent events, we really needed a video like this. P.S. If you do continue this series please invade canada so we can show them who really won the war of 1812.

  • @victorconway444
    @victorconway444 2 года назад +1

    “We don’t own Florida???”
    In a better world…

  • @WinterPhoenixForestKirin
    @WinterPhoenixForestKirin 3 года назад

    Great American rap in the beginning!

  • @laszlokovacs7909
    @laszlokovacs7909 3 года назад

    For the next episode when you get the British Isles, raise taxes to max and exempt every other region. True revenge.

  • @MrFab-cd8ps
    @MrFab-cd8ps 3 года назад

    Oh boy I just love your vids AMAZING

  • @conradshtock3039
    @conradshtock3039 3 года назад

    daggum, Koifish is REALLY getting into the rhyming...

  • @EgyptianMuslim76
    @EgyptianMuslim76 3 года назад +1

    You've given me an unexplainable love for the Norwegian accent 😏

  • @RagefaceYoshi
    @RagefaceYoshi 3 года назад +1

    Damn Trump was born early and finally built that wall huh? 9:05

  • @vidasseikis7228
    @vidasseikis7228 3 года назад

    nice vid koifish i love you kip it up

  • @Donbasos14
    @Donbasos14 3 года назад

    Decomposing, wauw, nice actually

  • @Namoamitabha_
    @Namoamitabha_ 3 года назад +1

    11:24 Indian from India Go to Indian in America to become the true Indian!

  • @staatspresidentg.d.2554
    @staatspresidentg.d.2554 3 года назад +2

    Koifish, When will there be Neuken in de Keuken again? 😂

  • @mason9renee224
    @mason9renee224 3 года назад

    Thanks for doing America koifish

  • @CarlMarx
    @CarlMarx 3 года назад

    Koifish selects Norge, me: 😍
    Koifish actually selects Amerika, me: 😑

  • @WombatOfDisaster
    @WombatOfDisaster 3 года назад

    I really should've seen the Afghanistan Bit coming lol

  • @mivapusa
    @mivapusa 3 года назад +1

    I thought Koifish was Finnish. As a Dane, realizing he's Swedish is... hmmm. Might have to bap him on the noggin with a stick if he crosses the ice.

  • @SwornInvictus
    @SwornInvictus 2 года назад

    Of course he's gonna go and invade Afghanistan with George Washington LMAO
    very cool

  • @odinvonjutland9086
    @odinvonjutland9086 3 года назад

    Now Koifish u got to play Norway and retake Iceland and Vinland

  • @chuckn4851
    @chuckn4851 3 года назад +10

    As an American, I didn't think that this could have gotten any more American, and then the game AI literally said "Mission Impossible"
    EDIT: And then the Native American slaughter began

  • @Settra_
    @Settra_ 3 года назад

    stay away from my oil koifish

  • @erlinga..thommesen8943
    @erlinga..thommesen8943 3 года назад +1

    Now im sad u didnt do Norway 😔

  • @tomtomed1
    @tomtomed1 3 года назад +3

    Elite troop only play through? Might work better in Napoleon tho because you can have multiple of the same unit and I don't think you can in empire (been too long since I played)

    • @Koifish
      @Koifish  3 года назад +8

      I was thinking another round of artillery only, but in late game, with rockets and the puckle gun >:D

    • @luishart5279
      @luishart5279 3 года назад

      @@Koifish Great idea!

    • @tomtomed1
      @tomtomed1 3 года назад

      @@Koifish let the puckle put them in a pickle!

  • @artetamenta
    @artetamenta 3 года назад

    Afganistan bro so ironic

  • @alexeysaprykin8784
    @alexeysaprykin8784 3 года назад

    I think you should try "Imperial Destroyer" mod

  • @YunsAvatar
    @YunsAvatar 3 года назад

    Nathaniel Greene is pronounced like the color.
    See, I would know, since I grew up in and live in a County named after him.

  • @c1rkuswastaken
    @c1rkuswastaken 3 года назад

    "real hours"
    Lasts 15 minutes. Im sad, but satisfied.

  • @piuro2
    @piuro2 3 года назад +1

    Freeeeeedoooooooooom

  • @Lucius2407
    @Lucius2407 2 года назад

    "and talking about gender studies" Love it! XD

  • @Nogoodideaforname
    @Nogoodideaforname 3 года назад

    Så søt du er når du snakker norsk @Koifish ^_^

  • @reileyscoyote7976
    @reileyscoyote7976 3 года назад

    Koifish the rapper?!?
    Koiminem?
    Lol Koi?

  • @kebertxela941
    @kebertxela941 3 года назад

    Minutemen OP.

  • @barkan4692
    @barkan4692 3 года назад

    I was watching your video when my grandad came and told me to "turn this fucking goebbels off" Hi from Belarus btw

  • @yaboipalps8616
    @yaboipalps8616 3 года назад

    0:41 what's the music ?

  • @privatecookie29
    @privatecookie29 3 года назад

    Based Koifish

  • @genji5675
    @genji5675 3 года назад +1

    The fact that he conquered pakistan instead of afghanistan

  • @dominicd1294
    @dominicd1294 3 года назад

    yes finlly

  • @alvaroruiz4527
    @alvaroruiz4527 3 года назад

    Besides the faction mod, what mods are you using? Your Empire looks spectacular

  • @the-Svante
    @the-Svante 3 года назад

    Örebro gang rise up :)

  • @samgt0v180
    @samgt0v180 3 года назад

    Where are the real barbary states hours koifish
    Love your vids by the way

  • @roman_kentkent2558
    @roman_kentkent2558 3 года назад

    Свобода!!!!

  • @cruzaider5339
    @cruzaider5339 3 года назад

    Less gooo!

  • @jonsitron11
    @jonsitron11 3 года назад

    Apropos Norge! Er Minor Nations mod å finne på Steam, eller er det den nettsiden man finner de til de eldre spillene? Herlig å se en dedikert til et av de beste (og mest ødelagte..!) TW-spillene!!

  • @swall185
    @swall185 3 года назад +1

    Shitpost o the year right here. Well played sir.

  • @7superball756
    @7superball756 3 года назад

    How do you start late game?