OMG Lee you went in today!! Well said brother. People who have not experienced a narcissist don't understand the mental and emotional toll it takes on you....I left my narcissistic husband and relocated two months ago it's a process and he's trying to make it difficult....
@@1969tb I guarantee it is! Having to remember all their lies, and who they told what to. No wonder they hit and run. It's way more difficult to keep up a facade than it is to run.
Agreed! Dr. Ramani has been repeating "Being smart is NOT a virtue!" In my case the Narc was VERY smart, and that impressed just about everybody, me included. In hindsight, now it would be a "Yellow Flag", until shown to go Green, or RED.
My narc wife treat narc videos like it's covid. She will NOT watch one. At least not in front of me. The few times I tried to get her to watch one, she acted like I was burning her eyes lol
My narc ex husband was financially, verbally, psychologically and emotionally abusive. When we separated I started to learn about narcissistic abuse and I saw that he was manipulating, gaslighting, and controlling me and likely only married me because he thought I would be submissive. I stopped being submissive and would refuse to engage in unproductive conversations. I would constantly try to talk to him about my valid financial concerns about not being able to afford the house that he pressured me to buy. I asked him to sell the house or buy me out. He called the police and lied and said that I assaulted him. I was arrested, charged with assault and removed from the matrimonial home. He refuses to give me my prized possessions. He even changed the locks on the house. He did this as part of his plan to gain the upper hand in divorce proceedings and child custody arrangements. I wish I had of recognized the red flags and cycle of abuse before it got this bad. 😢
My covert narcissist dad is a therapist (Ph.D.). Terrifying. He has the manual memorized and his mask is pure camouflage. I escaped by the grace of God. It has been a year but I have a long way to go to heal after 30+ years of psychological abuse. But this scapegoat is finally free, scars and all. And I will never go back.
Wow!!! A narcissistic therapist 😱😱😱 that's Wild! I remember going to a therapist (because I was dealing with a covert narcissist, although I didn't know anything about narcissism at the time, so I didn't know he was one) and I remember having the feeling that the therapist was making fun of me. It was strange, because it was something subtle, but every time I went I had the feeling that he was making fun of me, he also said things that were not appropriate. The last two times I went to his office at the end of the session I went to my car and I started crying, then I decided not to go back to his office. I don't know what was going on with that therapist, but there was something strange there... could he be a narcissist? 🤔 I don't know and I will never do 🤷🏾♀️. Now I have a new therapist and it's a completely different story, I'm finally recovering from my relationship with the covert narcissist. 😁🤗. I'm glad you were able to escape too. Stay safe!!!😊
A narcissist is the worst nightmare you will ever encounter because they bait you with love that is a bomb that will blow you to pieces that will take you a long time to put yourself back together again.
Also important and a number 1 warning sign when dealing with someone who openly tells you he is a narcissist and tells he now wants to help women. They always try to coach their target group/ the former victims of narcissists, so they can now earn money on them, and still get the attention they grave, and siphon even more energy from even more woman, through the internet and even accolades of women thanking him and praising him for being so honest. It's all a scam and disgusting. He monetised his abuse tactics, the devil is always in the details. He doesnt need to listen, loves to only hear himself speak, the ultimate narcistic who boost watch his childish, immature way of communicating. The level of intelligence and immaturity is still showing very obviously. You can of course listen, but you don't need to buy anything from an former abuser. I don't care if he confessed this or not. Y'all complaining about relationships with narcissist that ruined your lives, how he used you, yet immediately run to another narcissist to be used there. It's insanity and shows a very weak mind. He abused soul sisters. Wtf.. what kind of women doesnt understand what he is doing and how sick this is? Never trust a narcissist who tells you he is changed and now wants to "help" as much women as possible. Yeah right . He wants to teach as much women as possible, so you can lick, and like him. Share his video's so everyone can see how "great" he is now, he has found a 10.000% better supply source and doesn't give a f*** about any of his " clients". He wants you, to pay him your attention, time, likes, licks and compliments, And users his video's as add for his business. Meanwhile being you for liking him and subscribing to his channel😅 Meanwhile trying to convince women he has grown so much. He just wants to monetise his abuse tactics. Women are so gullible, from one abuser to another to " help" them!? You don't need a narcistic abuser as your coach!! You need God, a kick under your butt to wake up and some common sense.
@IAMinfiniteandfree. That very well may be however his transparency save my life. And he has helped countless others. If he makes a few bucks so be it.
@@IAMinfiniteandfree.😂 Who said he is only speaking to women ? That's very sexist of you Are you implying that only women are in abusive relationships and only men are the abusers and narcs ? Why are you assuming that even half of the subscribers pay for anything ? Why does he need that, do you not know how RUclips works with views etc he's getting paid by them 😂 You sound like you need someone professional to speak to.. and stop liking your own comments
As strange as it is to say: I’m thankful for the narcissistic people that were (at one point) in my life doing what they did to me….because after I chose to walk away and go in to no contact, it made me want to further educate myself so that when they came back, I would know what to expect so as not to fall for it all over again and also to never fall for any new people putting me through the same games .
You’re so right Lee . No one understands. I am in isolation right now. I have ONE friend that understands and she is even shaky going though her own journey. It’s very lonely right now but I know the reward is going to be great!
Yes.. me.. heavy sigh, they don't understand unless they are in it, or trying to heal . 2 years blocked in April. All that you just said @10 mins and hitting me
Ditto. Take the time to grow. Improve yourself in every way possible but make no effort to reveal your growth to the narc. Best when they think you are suffering.
This video is SO HELPFUL AND VALIDATING. I just listened to the podcast version. What he is saying is SO TRUE and I hope anyone who has been through narcissistic abuse can hear it. It is real, narcissistic abuse is a REAL thing. And the tips on how to get out and cope really do work
Also, people will expect you to look oast the narcissistic behavior and deal with the emotional abuse and manipulation because "because he's a good man savannah" telling you what you know about someone they never been in a relationship with. I was the one who was in a relationship with him
@CreationsByRachel So true because my mother told me the same as well …. It was getting too much for me to handle… I called my mother crying because he kept hitting me “ She told me to stay with him because he really loves me.”
Can testify to this to some degree. Had my final ties to my narc ex cut after I - in a very respectful way - revealed what was happening in my relationship with her. Her family told me straight up I was lying and came to my own conclusions, that we were both hurting, and her affair partner - we discovered their affair - was just there to console her. They straight up tried to deny my very own experiences in my very own relationship. Baffling that people believe they can have such a privilege to determine what you experienced and that you have to deny the evidence of your own senses. Absolutely baffling. Put the axe in the block and have fully walked away, it's clearly an inherited disorder to some degree.
True never got hit or physically abused by a man ever,but when a man raise there Voice thats Abuse and i was Out of the Relationship,you cant raise your voice at me that Scares me ,my Nervous System went in shock seriously, Single life is Beautiful ❤
This is true. There's videos on " how to stay in control of your relationship " and all sorts of v devious crap....however, most narcissists ALREADY KNOW how to pull crap: hide 2-3 relationships, etc, extra cell phones. The whole trip is THEY DONT FEEL GUILTY!!
Thank you for the validation. My mother is a narc and I am 48 years old and I'm just recognizing what the name of her demon is. I've been in 3 substantial relationships with narcs. I'm in therapy, I conduct therapy, and I'm breaking my cycle with the last narc and helping my clients do the same!! Thank you for what you do!
Hey Lee , love your channel, helped me a lot ✌️ Tactics may change but the main principle cannot change, that is manipulation. It’s a personality disorder, it’s a mental illness, they may change tactics but the principle is still the same control and manipulation through systematic abuse. The minute you start to feel confused or the other person can’t handle a simple question without spinning it around, leave ,save your minds, staying near these people is a waste of life
THANK YOU! People have told me that I’m the one to blame and that it’s my fault… hell no! Also, my narc is super duper smart in his evil intent. Lee, everything that you have said in ALL your videos have always been true. Thank you for your input.
For sure: narcs who learn psychology concepts and vocabulary simply level up their manipulative tactics. Get ready for more sophisticated abuse maneuvers.
100%. Had one in my old friend group who was a certified psychologist, and proceeded to have an affair with my narc girlfriend behind my back - ex now well and truly - Reflecting on it all, can see just how obvious it all was, dude was like a robot in human skin, trying to emulate what it's like to be a human. Can see the signs in both of them.
If I was talking to my heart broken shell from 7 year ago, I'd say watch this, and jump to minute 9 (when Lee speaks to this being REAL. It's REAL. Lee continues to say "Didn't hit you?! But you did everything else!" ) Listen to that list, ya'll. We've all had this happen, slowly but surely. The list of things Lee goes to say is the reality check. If I watched this video, I likely would have this on a loop for a while; it's tough to except the truth of it, after all the cognitive dissonance. But you are worth it, to tough it out.
That emotional abuse is something. It took me years to get my mind back on track and once I got it back, I fight like hell to keep my peace. My peace of mind is everything now! And so true, life does get better! You just have to stay dedicated to the healing process!! I did it and I was able to publish my first mental healing journal on Amazon (Mental Rescue Journal). I share your channel all the time!! Thank you so much!
Because what’s going to evolve is the way that we do things. For instance they cheat. Well, start using female condoms all of the time. Protect yourself. They marry for selfish reasons then give a horrible time in divorce. Well, don’t get married. Things are going to start to change for sure. Maybe people might create their own cities, where no one owns their home so that these kinds can be exiled out. Then people can start to live by societal rules again, co-operating for the sake of mankind instead of their spirit of selfishness.
Funny how they are incapable of changing for the better, but can evolve to be better at deception and trickery.This comes from a self aware narcissist, much like Lee.
One things FOR SURE and two things FOR CERTAIN a narcissist cannot fake empathy for long. There are many different ways and many different circumstances to TEST a narcissist for empathy, ESPECIALLY one who refuses to see a psychotherapist. The mask is BOUND to slip...they ain't got the patience. Learn to test for empathy, thats is their eternal trap 🪤
Their statistics are incorrect, because, in order to be diagnosed, you need to go to the therapist (or wherever they have been diagnosed). And how many narcissists are out there that they will never go to therapy, so, they can't be diagnosed and enter in their statistics. 🤔
According to dr. Ramani, 1/6 are narcissistic (have narcissistic personality style), meaning they have enough narcisstic traits that are destructive for relationships and others around them.
The statistics on all ten of the personality disorders, combined, is 9%. But, like you said, where and how do they get these statistics? Everyone knows that they act normal, and sane, out in public, but in private, they are lunatics. What they oughta do is take a statistic on people who have been abused and people who were raised in abusive households, duh! Like that’s a brilliant idea. Of course they won’t do this because they are the ones who rule the world and they don’t want the real information to get out there. Also, “ empaths “ are narcissists they’re just not full-blown narcissists so what number is that? Probably double. They are probably raised in it and have the genetics that they then pass on. The numbers are probably huge.
I needed this...the emotional abuse, threatening divorce, walking on egg shells, the tension in the home, the codependency, the gaslighting, etc. Your channel is a great resource. Thank you.
This video is such an accurate reflection of the modern day portal to the experience called narcissism. I so crush at how much life ive lost to a grandiose narcissist but im so grateful to be in my first day physically free from him. Im ready to heal and learn how to breathe again 💔🙌🏽
I just seen this and I agree with you Lee! No one knows what you have dealt with when ot comes to a narcissistic. Emotion, physical, and financial. It truly sucks your soul
That's what they do. They improvise on the abuse. Now with all the awareness out there, they'd be upping their game too. They know the older method is not working now because people are waking up to their abuse.
Im crying at 12:30. ... Thank you sooo much for confirming.....I found your video about a hour while trying to find something to counter an anxiety attack with suicidal ideations ... ..some kind of way I saw you and you made me laugh. Ive been watching you to Ground Me and Im so glad😢 because you Saved My Life Tonight .Thank You
@Weise101 I totally agree with you in regard to them acting on instinct and it seems like most people believe that they always know what they're doing, therefore, their behaviours are a conscious choice! I've known many highly narcissistic individuals, including family members, over decades and noticed that most react automatically to real, or perceived, threats, so it's not like they took deep breaths for five minutes to consider their next move. I recall attempting to convey to my sister, who lives in another country, that she doesn't need to reply to messages etc immediately since she usually goes straight into attack mode, to no avail, which is to be expected. 😕
Want to ❤ this! Sooo true. I’ve always wondered how can he thinks he’s being so “smart” when I was able to predict pretty much down to the phone call what he was or wasn’t doing. If something abruptly changed in his “routine” I knew he was doing something 😂 but he would still be oblivious to me knowing and me saying how I know lol. Like duhhh
When I had TikTok, I thought it was the end lol your videos literally helped me get through and not go back. I’m so glad that I’m moving forward. Thank you so much.
Lee, I am so so grateful to you. Thank you. You’ve really opened my eyes to whole new world of the madness of narcissistic people. I actually think people are becoming more narcissistic AND the current narcissists are getting better at it!!
Great video Lee! Totally hits home. Not the best of times as so many times in history. But as they are evolving with knowledge, so are we. And if you the person scrolling now, have questioned yourself due to your reactive and perhaps protective behaviors, just know your own heart. Reach deep within yourselves, brothers and sisters, of who exactly you are. Find you. Would you ever have imagined treating someone the way that you were treated by them? If the answer is "no", then you're clearly not the narcissist. You just really need a detox fron them. Really take that time, space and quiet to sit and reflect upon your past and yourself (drama free and stress free). Again, thank you for this video Lee. I just really hope people are waking up to this very heinous mentality and develop a discernment between good and evil. Confusing relationship dynamics are a great key to waking up in the hardest way. It can be the most difficult way for us who don't give up easily on those we love. They will tell you, either by words or actions, that they dont care about you, they don't need you. Believe them. Practice, practice, by all means, practice dscernment. Even under the control of the most self-proclaimed, perhaps even much deserved, and yet self-righteous of kings. Give them some time and just observe. Our society has an issue with being quiet. From the start of the relatinship, maybe just do that and observe. See the the redflags and DO NOT DISMISS them. It might be your saving grace.
That’s me, I’m no longer friends with someone that I thought was my friend. Also fell out with one, that I told her that her man had narcissistic tendencies. Instead of her trying to find out what it is, she said she didn’t know what that was. Anywho she’s going through it now, having anxiety and looking tired looking and confused. 😮 I don’t have anything left to stay. Not friends with neither of them. 🙏🏽🙌🏽
Thank you, thank you, thank you! This is exactly what I have been considering and observing in recent years. Plus, due to the wealth of knowledge available online, some narcissists are now learning about and appropriating other diagnoses, such as ADHD and autism...unfortunately it works due to many inaccurate beliefs about these conditions.
Ya my ex told me he had FAS and he was adopted but a gay couple who gives him anything he wants but his mother was a drinking with him when pregnant. Yup . That speaks volumes. And yes Bipolar and adhd of course . That FAS thing really had me going though . Oofff I still have doubt some days . He knows What he is doing . Did do and will do . I feel bad because I was teaching him how to be even worse . I feel bad for the next one and so in and so on . He’s a POs .
Actually, some psychologists believe that 1 in 6 people are narcissists. The problem with them getting diagnosed is that narcissists don't think anything is wrong with them to go see a doctor! lol So I'm not sure how accurate that 1% stat is!
I think that the, “ 1% “, is from an old statistic and it is written 0.5 to 1%. And that was just for the classic, overt narc, not for coverts, borderlines, malignant narcissists or psychopaths. These people breed with each other AND with, “ empaths “ who are narcissists but not full-blown narcissists. So the numbers are going to be way bigger as you can see. They breed with each other and are mixed in various ways, now. That’s why I call them: narcissist/psychopaths. It’s this combination that is the troubling ones. But empaths are troubling too, since they carry the genetics and breed!
I know my ex sees himself as my victim , he is so in his mind that he accused me of being narcissist and sociopath, that is how I found Lee and Dr Ramani and others , by trying to find out what he means . I left him couple of months later after 15 years and 2 children
I looked up narcs 14 years ago my ex wanted me to rub sun screen on him when i told him i had yo use the restroom,he had the nerves to get a attitude,that stuck with me all day,so i google if a person dont care about your well being i think ot was 14 years ago Narc came up,i was like wow the next 13 years he covered all of it and some, Single life is Beautiful ❤
Not long after I got married, I opened up about my SA that happened when I was 13 to my MIL and this woman with a straight face said, “ yeah but part of you liked it right?” We are NC today.
This same information we would not have been sought out.. the sad part is you have to go through it to believe that someone is this way and how hard it is to digest as the victim and let go
Hi Lee . I'm happy with your videos, they are also funny. But so true. I left a covert/ overt narcissistic partner after 14 years. Until two years ago I did not even know what narsisme was. I know our relationship was toxic. I did not listen to my intuition. I do have borderline cptsd and codependency. I am the crazy one according to him. I invested so long into the relationship. He loved me in the beginning. I was in love for four years. He convinced me that everything wrong was right. Now I'm away for a year. He is one big mess. He emotionally abandoned me when my oldest son was diagnosed with a brain tumour. And at the same time he abused me and was super selfish. When he started to treat me with contempt. I really realised that heb did not love me at all. Everything was about him . Haha yes my exes words. I don't hit you. He did all the rest you saying. Omg this is sooo true. I still love him. I reacted also with reactive abuse. Not proud of that. But I couldn't take the hours of screaming . The unfairness. He blamed me for things he did not do himself like cleaning up enough. In only asked for storage space. Wich was denied. So how was I suppose to clean up then. But I was a spoiled little princess for asking for a basic need. Since I left his house is the most extreme dirty mess. He says he likes it this way. He did not even notice the cat died and was under the table. I was constantly punished for little things. It made no sense att all. And if he triggered a fight I ended up forgiving and saying I was sorry because he was crying and the victim of course. I have been lied to for years. Horrible big lies. Now when I try to connect with him. And I told him I forgave him a few days ago he cried and said what he did was to horrible to forgive. Wich is true but if he would really chance his behaviour I would give it a chance. Only it's the second time I tried and he quickly takes his words back and says something like. " Well it's unforgivable that you feel this way but I did nothing wrong " wtf. That enrages me. Why can't he own his abusive behaviour and the lies. We all make mistakes in a relationship and in the beginning I made a mistake. I was drunk and fought with him. Before that happend he started a fight with me. I ran away to a bar and men were given me attention and I had a drink. He was angry jealous and took me hard outside and started to scream and I ran away again . I was to drunk and when he found me at the beach I started to hit him. My biggest mistake and I regret that. It happened one time and I changed my behaviour. It never happened again .He still after 13 years holds it over my head. He emotionally abused me all the time. Tantrums . Even a dead threat . One week before our son was born. I was scared for him during labour and he behaves awful during the birth. I was happy that he left to find medications for his back pain. He made a big drama to me about his back pain and even yelled at me and while I was in labour pains. He ruined the birth. He freaked me out. Anyway the whole relationship was one big drama/love/ hate rollercoaster. I did not know what a good relationship looked like. My other ex was emotionally neglecting. Broke my arm and stole 18000 euro from me. Sickness money. When I left. He also future faked me. My last ex had a lot to say about that. But in the end he treated me way worse then my other ex. I do suspect my mom is narcistic. So I really don't know what normal is. I just want a loving equal relationship. We're you talk things out and don't be manipulated or yelled at on a constant basis. I make mistakes like any other person. But they are not consistent it's not a pattern. My ex has a clear pattern. Well at least I know what I want now. And more what I certainly don't want. I try working at my boundaries. Listen to my intuition and self-care. But I have a question , why is it so hard to let my ex go and why do I feel such a strong pull towards him? It's like an uncut cord is holding us together. And I feel pulled to him. It's like I still want his real love and an equal relationship with him. But I guess that's impossible. He hasn't changed and spends his time blaming me. And the circumstances, the world ,his upbringing . Everything but himself. Can he change? How do I get him to change? I will never live together with him he is impossible to live with. And I know he will suck my money out of me when we would have a relationship. He lies about money. Something money seems to be the most important thing in his life. He lies and manipulates for it. Especially to his loved ones. I don't fall for it anymore. When I moved out he " helped me" he drove the camper and helped me to put my heavy stuff inside. I don't have a driver's licence. He let me pay him ! I was a broken woman at that point. In survival mode.my oldest son not his. Was only one month out of the hospital. And I was highly neglected and abused by my ex that whole month. I been through hard times and been treated awful a lot. But this is the worst I was ever been treated. And that's says a lot in my case. My other ex and parents ignored that I was suffering from post partum psychosis. For one year long. I thought nothing could top that. But yes it was possible. Maybe it is equally worse just really different. . 😢. Why do I miss him and keep loving him and hate him so much at the same time? He took my self worth, my trust in men, and so much more from me. My humour. Joy. Playfulness. It's coming back slowly. I need so much healing but there is nowhere to turn to. Love to join your group but I can't I'm not rich ,but make it by. Anyway I enjoy your channel. Because you're an aware narcist I hope what if my ex was aware and worked on himself. Is it possible? But he doesn't want even to hear that word.
Thank u so much Lee! I never thought I could leave my Narc. I'm 7 months out! The peace now, omg nobody understands! I've lost some friends because they didn't understand when I needed to vent about my traumatic experiences. They would say I should be healed by now. Thatblet me know that they really aren't my true friends
Lee, Your ability to see through the NPD and to explain in detail what you see is nothing short of a miracle. I commend you, brother. Keep up the excellent work! You are making a positive contribution to the universre. Thank you.
This is spot on. My exboyfriend from high school was a possible narc (I refer to him as my first narc.) He used to love to fake discard me every two weeks over nothing. It definitely brought him pleasure. He used to have that narcissist smirk when he did it. He now thinks he’s an empath. He calls himself an empath, all while being a red piller too. Just nuts.
When we're told NC is the way, it's the truth. I know some can not go NC bc of minor children, but have as little contact with them as possible. I'm exactly 1062 days NC, and it's been so peaceful. This person was in my life for 2 decades, and cutting off his access to me has allowed me the space I need to heal in peace. Whenever I would try to discuss his behavior, he'd stop that behavior and find other ways to be abusive, so when Lee says the narcissists evolve....dude ain't kidding. He became so clever with it that he'd even point out how he stopped a particular behavior "for me"...all while implementing his new method of abuse. Just walk away and block them. I wasted 20 years on him, but please don't allow time to prevent you from leaving. Instead, use it as the catalyst to move on. I'm 52, and hopefully, I have a lot more life to live. And if not, I'd rather live 2 years surrounded by genuinely good people than 20 years with someone who is incapable of caring about anyone more than themselves.
Clicked right away❤. LEE it took yrs to break the bond with my child's father. He wanted everything. He wanted custody, but yet he doesn't take care of our kid at all. He tried to ruin me for leaving. I didn't want to live many days.My mind couldn't get out of what was going on. I just want to say I'm finally indifferent to him. It's a miracle. I'm finally free and i'm able to be the best mother to my child. ❤ and you know what to this day?My child is a mama's boy😊
I am glad that you are explaining everything your videos are really helping me understand and I know nothing was my fault he was so jealous of everything that I did
I catch my husband watching vidéo about narcissist, but when I'm there he tries to hide it. He also watch vidéo about how to be a gentleman. He was a gentleman at the beginning of our relationship, but after the baby was born hes gentleman behavior suddenly desapear and he started manipulating me for money.
Oh yeah, the “I’ve never felt this way about anyone before”. He’d had sooo many women. We were in our forties when we met and I believed it. 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️
I love you Lee you have helped me through some really difficult times without knowing it! Just want to say maybe just my opinion but I don't really like all the cursing you have been doing lately. I am sure it feels like it maybe gets the point over more but people who have been through abuse maybe don't want to hear that sort of language, just my opinion I preferred it when I didn't feel like I was being shouted at haha x anyways thank you for all you do, you help people a lot x
Hi Lee, I just wanted to say I really loved this video. Really helpful and it is great that you are validating narcissistic abuse, it is so hard to live through and get away from. Thank you for your uplifting words. 🙏😊💖x
Thank you, no one can take that experience from me. I know how my ex did me. And the ppl that know me and Love me. They know, I’m not Lying and not a Liar. ❤
Thank you for doing all this work on yourself and sharing your knowledges with humility! Since I educate myself on narcissism like reading and watching videos, I feel so much peaceful about my past and present relationships. I really enjoy watching your videos because you give a deep and clear perspective on how narcissist think, act etc. and make so much sense!
This is the most uncomfortable I've ever been in my own home (haven't left yet) these videos really do encourage me though. I'm certainly not putting it off or procrastinating whatsoever, I'm just trying to do it right. Once again, this is encouraging though
My ex of 2 years been victimizing himself calling me the narcissist for the past 4 years watching vids pretending he’s the empath. I hate hearing “narcs aren’t real…it’s only 1/2% narcs”. It’s dumb cause obviously the rest of the narc population is NOT diagnosed. The his vid gave me ALL the feels!all FACTS👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
I don't know a REAL percentage of narcissistic people (there are so many undiagnosed), BUt... I'm partialy working in showbiz. Cinema. And well most of the people in this (directors, DOP's, actors etc) are extremely toxic. Most of the creative folks in industry are traumatized persons. I know a lot of people, who are perfect in their public appearence: nice, kind, friendly, but they are complete a-holes IRL. I don't say, that ALL are narcissists, no. there are a lot of so colled psychopats and all kinds of disorders. Showbiz is a world of predators and their prey.
I would love to see a video from you about this very thing… truly toxic people who smear their victims as “narcissists” to their whole circle. I’ve seen it happen so much, beyond victim-blaming, actually accusing victims of being the initiator/abuser. Mannn… so many people ignore the red flags, including the people who the narcissists/abusers hype up. Their fans would rather believe these liars rather than lose their “support”.
Thank you Lee. These are the things I'm learning about my Narc and why I just gave him the worst day of his life. You see...in my narcs case...he messed up pretty bad and is now about to lose everything. Did I secretly record him to obtain the proof I had now yes. I had to go kind of undercover and please the narcissist. He now is about to be fully exposed as the true narcissist he has been to his family I know. Once he gets a letter. He will come like the people did in John Wick. The people/narc person will learned he turned his victim into babayaga/John Wick. The individual hurt my child/puppy threatening death. John Wick becomes their worst nightmare they must now physically crush. My narc is now finding out just who he married and that she wasn't just dumb gullible, and a warrior.
Yes my narc husband thought he was the victim because I searched his phone and found out that he’s cheating and his mistress felt victim because I found out her name and phone number and her job so she’s afraid that I will expose her at her work place and to her family and she told him that he should protect her from me!!! They believe that they are twin flame 😂😂😂, and they are victims of a complicated relationship, maybe they will end up burning each other with their flames of filthy cheating
11:46 I do think its important to know what role you play. you have to understand yourself to be liberated. the role you play is determined by the abuser. they play with the victim
Also, % of people w/NPD is way larger than estimated. In my family of origin of 4, I’m the only one that doesn’t have NPD. They’re simply not diagnosed.
My narc mom was smartest entity on planet. Exnarc was dumb but skiled manipulator who throws net and pushes fogs on ppl. Both with special same energy.
Unless you have lived through narcissist you can't understand what we have gone through and the healing journey after we got out
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That's so true, and sometimes explaining it to people is difficult because they do not understand, not even a clue.
💯💯💯
OMG Lee you went in today!! Well said brother. People who have not experienced a narcissist don't understand the mental and emotional toll it takes on you....I left my narcissistic husband and relocated two months ago it's a process and he's trying to make it difficult....
So true ❤
Funny how they are incapable of changing for the better, but can evolve to be better at deception and trickery.
💯
Yeah it's mind boggling that they don't have anything else better to do with their time.
I would imagine being a narcissist is mentally exhausting.
@@1969tb I guarantee it is! Having to remember all their lies, and who they told what to. No wonder they hit and run. It's way more difficult to keep up a facade than it is to run.
@@kimmae9283it’s not hard it’s the current climate of dealing with any modern woman
I honestly love to see a self aware narcissist that works on themselves 💪🏽
Especially when people around them validate and enables their arrogance.
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That part!
The worst part for me, it's like I'm dealing with everything alone
Pray for help and strength to deal with it a hard lesson to lean... there is light at the end of the tunnel
When they want something 😂
He pretended to be intelligent but as his mask melted off I slowly found out how much of a idiot he was and lazy
Oh man
Mine thinks so highly of himself , he is so far gone in his mind that he is on a strict diet because he thinks what we eat will kill us .
Same!
😂 they are so dumb
Agreed! Dr. Ramani has been repeating "Being smart is NOT a virtue!" In my case the Narc was VERY smart, and that impressed just about everybody, me included. In hindsight, now it would be a "Yellow Flag", until shown to go Green, or RED.
I still remember when I thought my situation was unique and unheard of. I remember how I felt learning my circumstances was incredibly common.
I thought I had a unique unicorn of a man. To find out he was just a garden variety narcissist snake 🐍 was devastating.
@parklady4233 lol I like the way you worded that 💯
My narc wife treat narc videos like it's covid. She will NOT watch one. At least not in front of me. The few times I tried to get her to watch one, she acted like I was burning her eyes lol
😵💫
LoL. Kryptonite
Why is she still your wife than?
The devil in her
😂😂
My narc ex husband was financially, verbally, psychologically and emotionally abusive. When we separated I started to learn about narcissistic abuse and I saw that he was manipulating, gaslighting, and controlling me and likely only married me because he thought I would be submissive. I stopped being submissive and would refuse to engage in unproductive conversations. I would constantly try to talk to him about my valid financial concerns about not being able to afford the house that he pressured me to buy. I asked him to sell the house or buy me out. He called the police and lied and said that I assaulted him. I was arrested, charged with assault and removed from the matrimonial home. He refuses to give me my prized possessions. He even changed the locks on the house. He did this as part of his plan to gain the upper hand in divorce proceedings and child custody arrangements. I wish I had of recognized the red flags and cycle of abuse before it got this bad. 😢
My covert narcissist dad is a therapist (Ph.D.). Terrifying. He has the manual memorized and his mask is pure camouflage. I escaped by the grace of God. It has been a year but I have a long way to go to heal after 30+ years of psychological abuse. But this scapegoat is finally free, scars and all. And I will never go back.
Wow!!! A narcissistic therapist 😱😱😱 that's Wild! I remember going to a therapist (because I was dealing with a covert narcissist, although I didn't know anything about narcissism at the time, so I didn't know he was one) and I remember having the feeling that the therapist was making fun of me. It was strange, because it was something subtle, but every time I went I had the feeling that he was making fun of me, he also said things that were not appropriate. The last two times I went to his office at the end of the session I went to my car and I started crying, then I decided not to go back to his office. I don't know what was going on with that therapist, but there was something strange there... could he be a narcissist? 🤔 I don't know and I will never do 🤷🏾♀️. Now I have a new therapist and it's a completely different story, I'm finally recovering from my relationship with the covert narcissist. 😁🤗. I'm glad you were able to escape too. Stay safe!!!😊
A narcissist is the worst nightmare you will ever encounter because they bait you with love that is a bomb that will blow you to pieces that will take you a long time to put yourself back together again.
Also important and a number 1 warning sign when dealing with someone who openly tells you he is a narcissist and tells he now wants to help women. They always try to coach their target group/ the former victims of narcissists, so they can now earn money on them, and still get the attention they grave, and siphon even more energy from even more woman, through the internet and even accolades of women thanking him and praising him for being so honest. It's all a scam and disgusting. He monetised his abuse tactics, the devil is always in the details. He doesnt need to listen, loves to only hear himself speak, the ultimate narcistic who boost watch his childish, immature way of communicating. The level of intelligence and immaturity is still showing very obviously. You can of course listen, but you don't need to buy anything from an former abuser. I don't care if he confessed this or not. Y'all complaining about relationships with narcissist that ruined your lives, how he used you, yet immediately run to another narcissist to be used there. It's insanity and shows a very weak mind.
He abused soul sisters. Wtf.. what kind of women doesnt understand what he is doing and how sick this is?
Never trust a narcissist who tells you he is changed and now wants to "help" as much women as possible. Yeah right .
He wants to teach as much women as possible, so you can lick, and like him. Share his video's so everyone can see how "great" he is now, he has found a 10.000% better supply source and doesn't give a f*** about any of his " clients". He wants you, to pay him your attention, time, likes, licks and compliments,
And users his video's as add for his business.
Meanwhile being you for liking him and subscribing to his channel😅
Meanwhile trying to convince women he has grown so much.
He just wants to monetise his abuse tactics.
Women are so gullible, from one abuser to another to " help" them!? You don't need a narcistic abuser as your coach!! You need God, a kick under your butt to wake up and some common sense.
@IAMinfiniteandfree. That very well may be however his transparency save my life. And he has helped countless others. If he makes a few bucks so be it.
@@IAMinfiniteandfree.How about you get off of this page and go start your own RUclips page!! 😮
@@IAMinfiniteandfree.😂
Who said he is only speaking to women ? That's very sexist of you
Are you implying that only women are in abusive relationships and only men are the abusers and narcs ?
Why are you assuming that even half of the subscribers pay for anything ? Why does he need that, do you not know how RUclips works with views etc he's getting paid by them 😂
You sound like you need someone professional to speak to.. and stop liking your own comments
He talks about what makes his kind tick.
Say it louder FORGET THEM
😱
Right❤
I forgot their asses SO fast
Me too they are weak and worthless and don't benefit me in any way so IDC🧿@@exposinginsanity
As strange as it is to say:
I’m thankful for the narcissistic people that were (at one point) in my life doing what they did to me….because after I chose to walk away and go in to no contact, it made me want to further educate myself so that when they came back, I would know what to expect so as not to fall for it all over again and also to never fall for any new people putting me through the same games .
You’re so right Lee . No one understands. I am in isolation right now. I have ONE friend that understands and she is even shaky going though her own journey. It’s very lonely right now but I know the reward is going to be great!
Stay empowered
Yes.. me.. heavy sigh, they don't understand unless they are in it, or trying to heal . 2 years blocked in April.
All that you just said @10 mins and hitting me
Ditto. Take the time to grow. Improve yourself in every way possible but make no effort to reveal your growth to the narc. Best when they think you are suffering.
This video is SO HELPFUL AND VALIDATING. I just listened to the podcast version. What he is saying is SO TRUE and I hope anyone who has been through narcissistic abuse can hear it. It is real, narcissistic abuse is a REAL thing. And the tips on how to get out and cope really do work
Thank you for sharing
It really does get better if you keep pushing through. As Dr. Ramani says, "the only way out, is through".
This video is making me want to remain single. It seems to be a safer choice. What a crazy world we live in.
Protect your peace
Also, people will expect you to look oast the narcissistic behavior and deal with the emotional abuse and manipulation because "because he's a good man savannah" telling you what you know about someone they never been in a relationship with. I was the one who was in a relationship with him
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@CreationsByRachel So true because my mother told me the same as well …. It was getting too much for me to handle… I called my mother crying because he kept hitting me “ She told me to stay with him because he really loves me.”
Yea that's a good point you make. They are good people... UNLESS you're in a relationship with them 😂
They are a good people same shallow facade, a masked person to all a face of everyone but a closed door abuser. 🤷♀️😏
Can testify to this to some degree. Had my final ties to my narc ex cut after I - in a very respectful way - revealed what was happening in my relationship with her. Her family told me straight up I was lying and came to my own conclusions, that we were both hurting, and her affair partner - we discovered their affair - was just there to console her. They straight up tried to deny my very own experiences in my very own relationship. Baffling that people believe they can have such a privilege to determine what you experienced and that you have to deny the evidence of your own senses. Absolutely baffling.
Put the axe in the block and have fully walked away, it's clearly an inherited disorder to some degree.
True never got hit or physically abused by a man ever,but when a man raise there Voice thats Abuse and i was Out of the Relationship,you cant raise your voice at me that Scares me ,my Nervous System went in shock seriously, Single life is Beautiful ❤
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This is true. There's videos on " how to stay in control of your relationship " and all sorts of v devious crap....however, most narcissists ALREADY KNOW how to pull crap: hide 2-3 relationships, etc, extra cell phones. The whole trip is THEY DONT FEEL GUILTY!!
!!!
I didn't know what narcissism was until I met one! And when you tell someone that you dated a narcissist. They don't believe you!
For sure they learn. How you catch them cheating usually isn’t how you catch them the next time.
Yep. They wise up
Thank you for the validation. My mother is a narc and I am 48 years old and I'm just recognizing what the name of her demon is. I've been in 3 substantial relationships with narcs. I'm in therapy, I conduct therapy, and I'm breaking my cycle with the last narc and helping my clients do the same!! Thank you for what you do!
You’re welcome
Hey Lee , love your channel, helped me a lot ✌️
Tactics may change but the main principle cannot change, that is manipulation.
It’s a personality disorder, it’s a mental illness, they may change tactics but the principle is still the same control and manipulation through systematic abuse.
The minute you start to feel confused or the other person can’t handle a simple question without spinning it around, leave ,save your minds, staying near these people is a waste of life
THANK YOU! People have told me that I’m the one to blame and that it’s my fault… hell no! Also, my narc is super duper smart in his evil intent. Lee, everything that you have said in ALL your videos have always been true. Thank you for your input.
For sure: narcs who learn psychology concepts and vocabulary simply level up their manipulative tactics. Get ready for more sophisticated abuse maneuvers.
100%. Had one in my old friend group who was a certified psychologist, and proceeded to have an affair with my narc girlfriend behind my back - ex now well and truly - Reflecting on it all, can see just how obvious it all was, dude was like a robot in human skin, trying to emulate what it's like to be a human. Can see the signs in both of them.
Absolutely right. They are everywhere. I don't give a damn what no body says.
If I was talking to my heart broken shell from 7 year ago, I'd say watch this, and jump to minute 9 (when Lee speaks to this being REAL. It's REAL. Lee continues to say "Didn't hit you?! But you did everything else!" ) Listen to that list, ya'll. We've all had this happen, slowly but surely.
The list of things Lee goes to say is the reality check. If I watched this video, I likely would have this on a loop for a while; it's tough to except the truth of it, after all the cognitive dissonance. But you are worth it, to tough it out.
That emotional abuse is something. It took me years to get my mind back on track and once I got it back, I fight like hell to keep my peace. My peace of mind is everything now! And so true, life does get better! You just have to stay dedicated to the healing process!! I did it and I was able to publish my first mental healing journal on Amazon (Mental Rescue Journal). I share your channel all the time!! Thank you so much!
Thank you so much, I feel seen. I've been through absolute hell. God bless you! Hell nah we not doing that this year!!!
Sometimes I find myself wondering where will this cycle end? They upping their game we upping our awareness. Where does this land?
Because what’s going to evolve is the way that we do things. For instance they cheat. Well, start using female condoms all of the time. Protect yourself. They marry for selfish reasons then give a horrible time in divorce. Well, don’t get married. Things are going to start to change for sure. Maybe people might create their own cities, where no one owns their home so that these kinds can be exiled out. Then people can start to live by societal rules again, co-operating for the sake of mankind instead of their spirit of selfishness.
I like your new bad ass videos in 2025. Thank you for educating me when I dumped the narc 2 years ago and continuing to keep me narc free 💗
You’re welcome
Funny how they are incapable of changing for the better, but can evolve to be better at deception and trickery.This comes from a self aware narcissist, much like Lee.
One things FOR SURE and two things FOR CERTAIN a narcissist cannot fake empathy for long. There are many different ways and many different circumstances to TEST a narcissist for empathy, ESPECIALLY one who refuses to see a psychotherapist. The mask is BOUND to slip...they ain't got the patience. Learn to test for empathy, thats is their eternal trap 🪤
Time reveals
Their statistics are incorrect, because, in order to be diagnosed, you need to go to the therapist (or wherever they have been diagnosed). And how many narcissists are out there that they will never go to therapy, so, they can't be diagnosed and enter in their statistics. 🤔
🎯 you got it
According to dr. Ramani, 1/6 are narcissistic (have narcissistic personality style), meaning they have enough narcisstic traits that are destructive for relationships and others around them.
Word!
I was coming to the comments to say just this!!!
The statistics on all ten of the personality disorders, combined, is 9%. But, like you said, where and how do they get these statistics? Everyone knows that they act normal, and sane, out in public, but in private, they are lunatics. What they oughta do is take a statistic on people who have been abused and people who were raised in abusive households, duh! Like that’s a brilliant idea. Of course they won’t do this because they are the ones who rule the world and they don’t want the real information to get out there.
Also, “ empaths “ are narcissists they’re just not full-blown narcissists so what number is that? Probably double. They are probably raised in it and have the genetics that they then pass on. The numbers are probably huge.
I needed this...the emotional abuse, threatening divorce, walking on egg shells, the tension in the home, the codependency, the gaslighting, etc. Your channel is a great resource. Thank you.
you’re welcome
This video is such an accurate reflection of the modern day portal to the experience called narcissism. I so crush at how much life ive lost to a grandiose narcissist but im so grateful to be in my first day physically free from him. Im ready to heal and learn how to breathe again 💔🙌🏽
I just want to talk with people about it and let God do the rest 🙏 unbelievable how evil these people can be
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Did your make other worldly belches and snore like a lion growling? These are symptoms of demonic possession
Lee I needed this, got a hoover last night. A true mess today.
Stay strong
I just seen this and I agree with you Lee! No one knows what you have dealt with when ot comes to a narcissistic. Emotion, physical, and financial. It truly sucks your soul
You are right--- THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT VIDEO I NEED TO SEE ABOUT THE NARC...
THIS IS POWERFUL!!!
That's what they do. They improvise on the abuse. Now with all the awareness out there, they'd be upping their game too. They know the older method is not working now because people are waking up to their abuse.
"I feel a rant coming on....."
3...2...1....😂
Lee, we are literally here FOR your rants!!! 🙌🏽
😂😂😂
Im crying at 12:30. ... Thank you sooo much for confirming.....I found your video about a hour while trying to find something to counter an anxiety attack with suicidal ideations
... ..some kind of way I saw you and you made me laugh. Ive been watching you to Ground Me and Im so glad😢 because you Saved My Life Tonight
.Thank You
You are coaching the team who chose you!
😊
well what makes all narcisissts "dumb" is that they act predictable - they dont act out of thought, but instinct
@Weise101 I totally agree with you in regard to them acting on instinct and it seems like most people believe that they always know what they're doing, therefore, their behaviours are a conscious choice!
I've known many highly narcissistic individuals, including family members, over decades and noticed that most react automatically to real, or perceived, threats, so it's not like they took deep breaths for five minutes to consider their next move.
I recall attempting to convey to my sister, who lives in another country, that she doesn't need to reply to messages etc immediately since she usually goes straight into attack mode, to no avail, which is to be expected. 😕
Want to ❤ this! Sooo true. I’ve always wondered how can he thinks he’s being so “smart” when I was able to predict pretty much down to the phone call what he was or wasn’t doing. If something abruptly changed in his “routine” I knew he was doing something 😂 but he would still be oblivious to me knowing and me saying how I know lol. Like duhhh
When I had TikTok, I thought it was the end lol your videos literally helped me get through and not go back. I’m so glad that I’m moving forward. Thank you so much.
Lee, I am so so grateful to you. Thank you. You’ve really opened my eyes to whole new world of the madness of narcissistic people. I actually think people are becoming more narcissistic AND the current narcissists are getting better at it!!
you’re welcome 🙏🏽
Great video Lee! Totally hits home. Not the best of times as so many times in history.
But as they are evolving with knowledge, so are we. And if you the person scrolling now, have questioned yourself due to your reactive and perhaps protective behaviors, just know your own heart. Reach deep within yourselves, brothers and sisters, of who exactly you are. Find you. Would you ever have imagined treating someone the way that you were treated by them? If the answer is "no", then you're clearly not the narcissist. You just really need a detox fron them.
Really take that time, space and quiet to sit and reflect upon your past and yourself (drama free and stress free).
Again, thank you for this video Lee. I just really hope people are waking up to this very heinous mentality and develop a discernment between good and evil.
Confusing relationship dynamics are a great key to waking up in the hardest way. It can be the most difficult way for us who don't give up easily on those we love.
They will tell you, either by words or actions, that they dont care about you, they don't need you. Believe them.
Practice, practice, by all means, practice dscernment. Even under the control of the most self-proclaimed, perhaps even much deserved, and yet self-righteous of kings.
Give them some time and just observe.
Our society has an issue with being quiet. From the start of the relatinship, maybe just do that and observe. See the the redflags and DO NOT DISMISS them. It might be your saving grace.
That’s me, I’m no longer friends with someone that I thought was my friend. Also fell out with one, that I told her that her man had narcissistic tendencies. Instead of her trying to find out what it is, she said she didn’t know what that was. Anywho she’s going through it now, having anxiety and looking tired looking and confused. 😮 I don’t have anything left to stay. Not friends with neither of them. 🙏🏽🙌🏽
🙌🏾 have to protect your peace
You are on 🔥 with These longer videos!!! Keep em coming! Ain’t speaking nothing but facts!
Thank you, thank you, thank you! This is exactly what I have been considering and observing in recent years. Plus, due to the wealth of knowledge available online, some narcissists are now learning about and appropriating other diagnoses, such as ADHD and autism...unfortunately it works due to many inaccurate beliefs about these conditions.
Ya my ex told me he had FAS and he was adopted but a gay couple who gives him anything he wants but his mother was a drinking with him when pregnant. Yup . That speaks volumes. And yes Bipolar and adhd of course . That FAS thing really had me going though . Oofff I still have doubt some days . He knows What he is doing . Did do and will do . I feel bad because I was teaching him how to be even worse . I feel bad for the next one and so in and so on . He’s a POs .
You’re welcome
you’re literally my online therapist i need to subscribe as a member
💜
This video was one of favorite that I have seen so far. Thanks for caring for us abused.
Actually, some psychologists believe that 1 in 6 people are narcissists. The problem with them getting diagnosed is that narcissists don't think anything is wrong with them to go see a doctor! lol So I'm not sure how accurate that 1% stat is!
I think that the, “ 1% “, is from an old statistic and it is written 0.5 to 1%. And that was just for the classic, overt narc, not for coverts, borderlines, malignant narcissists or psychopaths. These people breed with each other AND with, “ empaths “ who are narcissists but not full-blown narcissists. So the numbers are going to be way bigger as you can see.
They breed with each other and are mixed in various ways, now. That’s why I call them: narcissist/psychopaths. It’s this combination that is the troubling ones. But empaths are troubling too, since they carry the genetics and breed!
@@bonnielee7134 right, makes sense!
I know my ex sees himself as my victim , he is so in his mind that he accused me of being narcissist and sociopath, that is how I found Lee and Dr Ramani and others , by trying to find out what he means . I left him couple of months later after 15 years and 2 children
Always the victim
I looked up narcs 14 years ago my ex wanted me to rub sun screen on him when i told him i had yo use the restroom,he had the nerves to get a attitude,that stuck with me all day,so i google if a person dont care about your well being i think ot was 14 years ago Narc came up,i was like wow the next 13 years he covered all of it and some, Single life is Beautiful ❤
🙌🏾 ❤️
Not long after I got married, I opened up about my SA that happened when I was 13 to my MIL and this woman with a straight face said, “ yeah but part of you liked it right?” We are NC today.
This same information we would not have been sought out.. the sad part is you have to go through it to believe that someone is this way and how hard it is to digest as the victim and let go
Hi Lee . I'm happy with your videos, they are also funny. But so true.
I left a covert/ overt narcissistic partner after 14 years. Until two years ago I did not even know what narsisme was. I know our relationship was toxic. I did not listen to my intuition. I do have borderline cptsd and codependency. I am the crazy one according to him. I invested so long into the relationship. He loved me in the beginning. I was in love for four years. He convinced me that everything wrong was right. Now I'm away for a year. He is one big mess. He emotionally abandoned me when my oldest son was diagnosed with a brain tumour. And at the same time he abused me and was super selfish. When he started to treat me with contempt. I really realised that heb did not love me at all. Everything was about him . Haha yes my exes words. I don't hit you. He did all the rest you saying. Omg this is sooo true. I still love him. I reacted also with reactive abuse. Not proud of that. But I couldn't take the hours of screaming . The unfairness. He blamed me for things he did not do himself like cleaning up enough. In only asked for storage space. Wich was denied. So how was I suppose to clean up then. But I was a spoiled little princess for asking for a basic need. Since I left his house is the most extreme dirty mess. He says he likes it this way. He did not even notice the cat died and was under the table.
I was constantly punished for little things. It made no sense att all. And if he triggered a fight I ended up forgiving and saying I was sorry because he was crying and the victim of course. I have been lied to for years. Horrible big lies. Now when I try to connect with him. And I told him I forgave him a few days ago he cried and said what he did was to horrible to forgive. Wich is true but if he would really chance his behaviour I would give it a chance. Only it's the second time I tried and he quickly takes his words back and says something like. " Well it's unforgivable that you feel this way but I did nothing wrong " wtf.
That enrages me. Why can't he own his abusive behaviour and the lies. We all make mistakes in a relationship and in the beginning I made a mistake. I was drunk and fought with him. Before that happend he started a fight with me. I ran away to a bar and men were given me attention and I had a drink. He was angry jealous and took me hard outside and started to scream and I ran away again . I was to drunk and when he found me at the beach I started to hit him. My biggest mistake and I regret that. It happened one time and I changed my behaviour. It never happened again .He still after 13 years holds it over my head. He emotionally abused me all the time. Tantrums . Even a dead threat . One week before our son was born. I was scared for him during labour and he behaves awful during the birth. I was happy that he left to find medications for his back pain. He made a big drama to me about his back pain and even yelled at me and while I was in labour pains. He ruined the birth. He freaked me out. Anyway the whole relationship was one big drama/love/ hate rollercoaster.
I did not know what a good relationship looked like. My other ex was emotionally neglecting. Broke my arm and stole 18000 euro from me. Sickness money. When I left. He also future faked me. My last ex had a lot to say about that. But in the end he treated me way worse then my other ex. I do suspect my mom is narcistic. So I really don't know what normal is.
I just want a loving equal relationship. We're you talk things out and don't be manipulated or yelled at on a constant basis. I make mistakes like any other person. But they are not consistent it's not a pattern. My ex has a clear pattern. Well at least I know what I want now. And more what I certainly don't want.
I try working at my boundaries.
Listen to my intuition and self-care.
But I have a question , why is it so hard to let my ex go and why do I feel such a strong pull towards him? It's like an uncut cord is holding us together. And I feel pulled to him. It's like I still want his real love and an equal relationship with him. But I guess that's impossible. He hasn't changed and spends his time blaming me. And the circumstances, the world ,his upbringing . Everything but himself.
Can he change? How do I get him to change? I will never live together with him he is impossible to live with. And I know he will suck my money out of me when we would have a relationship. He lies about money. Something money seems to be the most important thing in his life.
He lies and manipulates for it. Especially to his loved ones. I don't fall for it anymore. When I moved out he " helped me" he drove the camper and helped me to put my heavy stuff inside. I don't have a driver's licence. He let me pay him ! I was a broken woman at that point. In survival mode.my oldest son not his. Was only one month out of the hospital. And I was highly neglected and abused by my ex that whole month. I been through hard times and been treated awful a lot. But this is the worst I was ever been treated. And that's says a lot in my case. My other ex and parents ignored that I was suffering from post partum psychosis. For one year long. I thought nothing could top that. But yes it was possible. Maybe it is equally worse just really different. . 😢.
Why do I miss him and keep loving him and hate him so much at the same time? He took my self worth, my trust in men, and so much more from me. My humour. Joy. Playfulness. It's coming back slowly. I need so much healing but there is nowhere to turn to. Love to join your group but I can't I'm not rich ,but make it by. Anyway I enjoy your channel. Because you're an aware narcist I hope what if my ex was aware and worked on himself. Is it possible? But he doesn't want even to hear that word.
Thank u so much Lee! I never thought I could leave my Narc. I'm 7 months out! The peace now, omg nobody understands! I've lost some friends because they didn't understand when I needed to vent about my traumatic experiences. They would say I should be healed by now. Thatblet me know that they really aren't my true friends
you’re welcome
Lee,
Your ability to see through the NPD and to explain in detail what you see is nothing short of a miracle. I commend you, brother. Keep up the excellent work! You are making a positive contribution to the universre. Thank you.
This is spot on. My exboyfriend from high school was a possible narc (I refer to him as my first narc.) He used to love to fake discard me every two weeks over nothing. It definitely brought him pleasure. He used to have that narcissist smirk when he did it. He now thinks he’s an empath. He calls himself an empath, all while being a red piller too. Just nuts.
When we're told NC is the way, it's the truth. I know some can not go NC bc of minor children, but have as little contact with them as possible. I'm exactly 1062 days NC, and it's been so peaceful. This person was in my life for 2 decades, and cutting off his access to me has allowed me the space I need to heal in peace. Whenever I would try to discuss his behavior, he'd stop that behavior and find other ways to be abusive, so when Lee says the narcissists evolve....dude ain't kidding. He became so clever with it that he'd even point out how he stopped a particular behavior "for me"...all while implementing his new method of abuse. Just walk away and block them. I wasted 20 years on him, but please don't allow time to prevent you from leaving. Instead, use it as the catalyst to move on. I'm 52, and hopefully, I have a lot more life to live. And if not, I'd rather live 2 years surrounded by genuinely good people than 20 years with someone who is incapable of caring about anyone more than themselves.
Clicked right away❤. LEE it took yrs to break the bond with my child's father. He wanted everything. He wanted custody, but yet he doesn't take care of our kid at all. He tried to ruin me for leaving. I didn't want to live many days.My mind couldn't get out of what was going on. I just want to say I'm finally indifferent to him. It's a miracle. I'm finally free and i'm able to be the best mother to my child. ❤ and you know what to this day?My child is a mama's boy😊
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I am glad that you are explaining everything your videos are really helping me understand and I know nothing was my fault he was so jealous of everything that I did
Glad I could help
I catch my husband watching vidéo about narcissist, but when I'm there he tries to hide it. He also watch vidéo about how to be a gentleman. He was a gentleman at the beginning of our relationship, but after the baby was born hes gentleman behavior suddenly desapear and he started manipulating me for money.
I am so glad u are here. Listen & get free.
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And 1% is the MINORITY of narcs who actually get diagnosed!! I'd say it's much closer to 30% or more
Oh yeah, the “I’ve never felt this way about anyone before”. He’d had sooo many women. We were in our forties when we met and I believed it. 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️
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I love you Lee you have helped me through some really difficult times without knowing it! Just want to say maybe just my opinion but I don't really like all the cursing you have been doing lately. I am sure it feels like it maybe gets the point over more but people who have been through abuse maybe don't want to hear that sort of language, just my opinion I preferred it when I didn't feel like I was being shouted at haha x anyways thank you for all you do, you help people a lot x
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Hi Lee, I just wanted to say I really loved this video. Really helpful and it is great that you are validating narcissistic abuse, it is so hard to live through and get away from. Thank you for your uplifting words. 🙏😊💖x
Thank you, no one can take that experience from me. I know how my ex did me. And the ppl that know me and Love me. They know, I’m not Lying and not a Liar. ❤
you’re welcome
Thank you! Here's to a GREAT 2025 for Our Mental Health.
you’re welcome
You have changed my life. Thank you for your videos
Thank you for doing all this work on yourself and sharing your knowledges with humility! Since I educate myself on narcissism like reading and watching videos, I feel so much peaceful about my past and present relationships. I really enjoy watching your videos because you give a deep and clear perspective on how narcissist think, act etc. and make so much sense!
You are so welcome
This is so good Lee!!!! Keep them coming..THIS one is your game changer
My exs oldest daughter is his spy tells him everything i do and say glad shes out of my life for good hope they all stay gone
This is the most uncomfortable I've ever been in my own home (haven't left yet) these videos really do encourage me though. I'm certainly not putting it off or procrastinating whatsoever, I'm just trying to do it right. Once again, this is encouraging though
My ex of 2 years been victimizing himself calling me the narcissist for the past 4 years watching vids pretending he’s the empath. I hate hearing “narcs aren’t real…it’s only 1/2% narcs”. It’s dumb cause obviously the rest of the narc population is NOT diagnosed.
The his vid gave me ALL the feels!all FACTS👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
you got it!
I don't know a REAL percentage of narcissistic people (there are so many undiagnosed), BUt...
I'm partialy working in showbiz. Cinema. And well most of the people in this (directors, DOP's, actors etc) are extremely toxic. Most of the creative folks in industry are traumatized persons.
I know a lot of people, who are perfect in their public appearence: nice, kind, friendly, but they are complete a-holes IRL.
I don't say, that ALL are narcissists, no. there are a lot of so colled psychopats and all kinds of disorders. Showbiz is a world of predators and their prey.
I would love to see a video from you about this very thing… truly toxic people who smear their victims as “narcissists” to their whole circle. I’ve seen it happen so much, beyond victim-blaming, actually accusing victims of being the initiator/abuser. Mannn… so many people ignore the red flags, including the people who the narcissists/abusers hype up. Their fans would rather believe these liars rather than lose their “support”.
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Thank you Lee. These are the things I'm learning about my Narc and why I just gave him the worst day of his life. You see...in my narcs case...he messed up pretty bad and is now about to lose everything. Did I secretly record him to obtain the proof I had now yes. I had to go kind of undercover and please the narcissist. He now is about to be fully exposed as the true narcissist he has been to his family I know. Once he gets a letter. He will come like the people did in John Wick. The people/narc person will learned he turned his victim into babayaga/John Wick. The individual hurt my child/puppy threatening death. John Wick becomes their worst nightmare they must now physically crush. My narc is now finding out just who he married and that she wasn't just dumb gullible, and a warrior.
you’re welcome
Yes my narc husband thought he was the victim because I searched his phone and found out that he’s cheating and his mistress felt victim because I found out her name and phone number and her job so she’s afraid that I will expose her at her work place and to her family and she told him that he should protect her from me!!! They believe that they are twin flame 😂😂😂, and they are victims of a complicated relationship, maybe they will end up burning each other with their flames of filthy cheating
The only thing that keeping me happy and calm that maybe he will leave for her and leave me alone away from his toxicity 🙏
Right Lee, We know what we went through. F them! Living for me
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11:46 I do think its important to know what role you play. you have to understand yourself to be liberated. the role you play is determined by the abuser. they play with the victim
🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼 thank you lee your RUclips videos have help me so much very much appreciate
Thank you, thank you and thank you for this
Also, % of people w/NPD is way larger than estimated. In my family of origin of 4, I’m the only one that doesn’t have NPD. They’re simply not diagnosed.
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My narc mom was smartest entity on planet.
Exnarc was dumb but skiled manipulator who throws net and pushes fogs on ppl.
Both with special same energy.
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Dang when you thought you heard it all theres always more,Thank God my Ex Narc is out my Life, Single life is Beautiful ❤
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Deserves a million likes. Great vid Lee.
THANKS MR LEE GLAD U WANA SEE US WIN AFTER BEING EXPERIENCE WITH A NARCS THANK YOU BLESSINGS TO U AN UR FAMILY❤️🙏
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Definitely is real! Love you Lee ❣️
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Thank You for your Pep Talk !
5:19 Facts!!!!! It’s crazy!
Preach! Thank you.
You are so welcome
It's scary cause how am I ever going to find my partner. If I keep ending up with narcs.
❤️ almost two years out and everyday gets clearer and clear er ❤️
God you always make a video that I need most just when I need it most 🙏❤️
After 3 years I’m still healing it f’s you up.
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Find a professional to talk about your experience. Lay people don’t get it!
Thanks for sharing Lee 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼