Every Evil Emperor

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  • Опубликовано: 14 дек 2024
  • What do you do when you've seized power and/or purchased a large social media company? You monologue.

Комментарии • 1,6 тыс.

  • @UATU.
    @UATU. 2 года назад +6202

    It’s hard to believe someone with such majestic ginger hair could be evil.

    • @kieran10202
      @kieran10202 2 года назад +130

      Ganondorf.

    • @oldvlognewtricks
      @oldvlognewtricks 2 года назад +57

      General Hux?

    • @demoneon9527
      @demoneon9527 2 года назад +154

      I mean they have no soul is it hard to believe.

    • @kenstewart7700
      @kenstewart7700 2 года назад +109

      He earns a freckle for every soul he steals

    • @deusdex1186
      @deusdex1186 2 года назад

      All gingers are intrinsically evil.
      It is known!

  • @OmegaHeroLegacy
    @OmegaHeroLegacy 2 года назад +5100

    To be fair, if the Emperor was able to "burn" the rivers, probably nobody needed to be drinking whatever was in them.

    • @felipecosta-kv2fx
      @felipecosta-kv2fx 2 года назад +155

      What was burning the rivers supposed to achieve anyway?

    • @JM-mh1pp
      @JM-mh1pp 2 года назад +366

      @@felipecosta-kv2fx Gotta flush the beavers somehow...

    • @felipecosta-kv2fx
      @felipecosta-kv2fx 2 года назад +69

      @@JM-mh1pp what's wrong with them beavers?

    • @JM-mh1pp
      @JM-mh1pp 2 года назад +249

      @@felipecosta-kv2fx they know...they know...

    • @evannibbe9375
      @evannibbe9375 2 года назад

      @@felipecosta-kv2fx Getting rid of fecal matter, oil and microbes, just like Chicago did to its river, accidentally.

  • @JM-mh1pp
    @JM-mh1pp 2 года назад +6072

    Don't worry emperor, give them 20-30 years and after your passing they will go "hell sure he was not crystal clear but at least there was peace" and 200 years later historians will go "uniting process was painful, and there were some troubles in the beginning but it created our country so in the grand scheme of things it was acceptable"

    • @Jaxck77
      @Jaxck77 2 года назад +257

      Germany in a nut shell…

    • @toomanymarys7355
      @toomanymarys7355 2 года назад +446

      You like Chinese dramas, eh?

    • @darelfinkbeiner4473
      @darelfinkbeiner4473 2 года назад +365

      Then they'll feel like he didn't speak out enough about racism, and they'll tear down all his statues. (Steve, I mean)

    • @jameschambers9969
      @jameschambers9969 2 года назад +72

      But what about the genocide that he may have done

    • @JM-mh1pp
      @JM-mh1pp 2 года назад +679

      @@jameschambers9969 Oh please: "of course what happened was sad, tragic even, but we cannot judge the emperor on the basis of our current day morality, those were different times, and standards were not the same as today"

  • @seaoftranquility7228
    @seaoftranquility7228 2 года назад +4673

    Just the kind of scurrilous, anti-imperialist despot propaganda I’ve come to expect from the this channel. I’ve been tortured by His Majestic Awesomeness twice and both times I’ve found him to be charming, professional and, within the limits of our circumstances, a true gentleman!

    • @JM-mh1pp
      @JM-mh1pp 2 года назад +68

      this just killed me.

    • @dontbefatuousjeffrey2494
      @dontbefatuousjeffrey2494 2 года назад +77

      you're still trying to get Google reviews to recognise the 6 out of 5 you want to give him, aren't you?

    • @Laesis
      @Laesis 2 года назад +44

      Did he send you to the Ministry of Love? Was his name Big Brother, perchance?

    • @ExtremeMadnessX
      @ExtremeMadnessX 2 года назад +26

      That sounds like some kind of reylo fanfic...

    • @comradeghostboi7989
      @comradeghostboi7989 2 года назад +24

      within the limits of our circumstances lmao

  • @fyraltari1889
    @fyraltari1889 2 года назад +2158

    Zahak the Serpent King from Iranian mythology, who used to feed people's brain to the two serpents sprounting from his shoulder actually asked his advisors and random petitioners whether the people loved him.

    • @mcmadow
      @mcmadow 2 года назад +379

      You mean Jonny Snakeshoulders?

    • @kamronspencer4910
      @kamronspencer4910 2 года назад +160

      @@mcmadow yes jonnysnakeshoulders.

    • @ThingsDontAlways
      @ThingsDontAlways 2 года назад +50

      hey I played that game too. but his name was Jackie not Zahak. and he fed them hearts not brains

    • @Lichelf
      @Lichelf 2 года назад +61

      Well, did they?

    • @kamronspencer4910
      @kamronspencer4910 2 года назад +168

      @@Lichelf no. And in fact one hated him so much that even after the king agreed to not sacrifice his last son to his snake shoulders when he tried to get the peasant to sign s paper saying he was a good king the peasant ripped it up in front of him and walked out while everyone was to stunned to stop him

  • @tskmaster3837
    @tskmaster3837 2 года назад +2156

    Machiavelli: "It's better to be feared than to be love."
    Evil Emperor with self esteem issues: "Why can't it be both though? Why, Steve, why?"

    • @webbowser8834
      @webbowser8834 2 года назад +245

      Funny thing is that the literal sentence before that reads that when possible, a ruler should be both feared and loved.

    • @biirbio
      @biirbio 2 года назад +12

      @Tskmaster my name isn't Steve...

    • @ErwinPommel
      @ErwinPommel 2 года назад +4

      @Just a Frog Nicky?

    • @FlyingwithFire
      @FlyingwithFire 2 года назад +67

      @@webbowser8834 it also includes never be hated

    • @imveryangryitsnotbutter
      @imveryangryitsnotbutter 2 года назад +31

      "Politics have no relation to morals."
      - Steve Machiavelli

  • @joshybratwurst1398
    @joshybratwurst1398 2 года назад +390

    'You don't squash 12 nephews without learning a thing or two about people'
    The exact vibe of the manager at the service station I used to work at

    • @anonygent
      @anonygent 2 года назад +9

      LOL. Never knew service stations could have such drama.

    • @joshybratwurst1398
      @joshybratwurst1398 2 года назад

      @@anonygent Oh, it wasn't really drama, he was just a jackass New Zealander who pretended to have a sense of empathy in order to project his insecurities onto people

    • @FutureChaosTV
      @FutureChaosTV 2 года назад +18

      @@anonygent Oh, ANYWHERE people are there is always drama.

    • @anonimanonim2710
      @anonimanonim2710 Год назад +4

      I was expecting anything but people in that context!

    • @adamjones4606
      @adamjones4606 Год назад +3

      Was there .. much nephew squashing at the service station ?

  • @thomascarmichael6659
    @thomascarmichael6659 2 года назад +3671

    That dejected "Ohhh" at the end was pure comic gold. ABK is the absolute zenith of RUclips comedy right now.

    • @tomisabum
      @tomisabum 2 года назад +30

      It's cool, he'll just buy it in a move that clearly won't upset anyone or be a clear blatant response to federal judges holding the emperor responsible for their tweets.

    • @yserareborn
      @yserareborn 2 года назад +10

      He might just be reading about the musk buyout.

    • @notaqua
      @notaqua 2 года назад +6

      A close second to our current RUclips comedy Emperor, Lord Joel Haver

    • @carneeki
      @carneeki 2 года назад +9

      The dejected "ohhhh" exceeded Steven He levels of emotions damage. Well done ABK!

    • @TheJestBee
      @TheJestBee 2 года назад +4

      Honestly that part had me cracking up 😂😂😂

  • @deusdex1186
    @deusdex1186 2 года назад +1199

    You know he's an evil emperor because he allowed Twitter to survive.

    • @deusdex1186
      @deusdex1186 2 года назад +46

      @@grannym2880 What kind of monster would do such a thing?

    • @timucinharkonnen2699
      @timucinharkonnen2699 2 года назад +22

      @@deusdex1186 The obvious conclusion would be:
      The current emperor.

    • @shmeggley
      @shmeggley 2 года назад +13

      Well, he can just BUY Twitter

    • @whom382
      @whom382 2 года назад +14

      If Elon Musk was a good emperor, he'd just shut it down.

    • @timucinharkonnen2699
      @timucinharkonnen2699 2 года назад +5

      @@whom382 He could first reform it, so it may serve the course, for a while, and delite it later, for God's sake, in which ever God you believe. We don't effin care.

  • @cahallo5964
    @cahallo5964 2 года назад +486

    Now I want a sketch about a very good emperor that's widely loved but he's so humble he just doesn't believe it

    • @SheeplessNW6
      @SheeplessNW6 2 года назад +42

      That's more Joel Haver's wheelhouse, I think

    • @schattentaenzerin
      @schattentaenzerin 2 года назад +51

      A super self-conscious Emperor would be fun to see

    • @ΓιάννηςΜεταξάς-ρ5φ
      @ΓιάννηςΜεταξάς-ρ5φ 2 года назад +22

      Good emperors are not a thing tho :|

    • @templarlad392
      @templarlad392 2 года назад +10

      @@ΓιάννηςΜεταξάς-ρ5φ Le bruh moment

    • @JM-mh1pp
      @JM-mh1pp 2 года назад +15

      @@templarlad392 Sorry, you do not become emperor (or even inherit the throne) and stay a good guy...
      Empire requires a lot of sacrifices to maintain.

  • @dogstockings4197
    @dogstockings4197 2 года назад +260

    The tension is Palpatineable.

  • @EsteemedReptile
    @EsteemedReptile 2 года назад +523

    "And Steve! Make sure to put the purple crystal that contains 95% of my power on a lone pedastal in the middle of a large, empty room. And make it float."
    "But sire isn't that just inviting theft?"
    "Do not question me Steve! Or I shall dangle you precariously over a pit of flaming snakes! For like....three hours!"

    • @MrClickity
      @MrClickity 2 года назад

      I won't drop you in the pit, but the ropes I tied you up with will really start to chafe after awhile!

    • @MitsuhashiTakashi
      @MitsuhashiTakashi 2 года назад +1

      Sounds like jahy

    • @mikekasich836
      @mikekasich836 2 года назад +10

      I was falling.. FOR 30 MINUTES

    • @OK-yy6qz
      @OK-yy6qz 2 года назад +13

      Oh and now that i mention it,make sure to prepare the almost deadly traps that look intimidating but are also really slow and unpractical

    • @wesleyoldham4222
      @wesleyoldham4222 2 года назад +27

      "Place my strongest lieutenants along the path. But make sure the weakest ones are first, so that the hero can become increasingly more skilled with each battle."
      "Sir, we can just have all your lieutenants in the same-"
      "Do not question me! Each one must be slightly more difficult than the last or those who oppose me will have no chance!"

  • @the8u9
    @the8u9 2 года назад +317

    Oh man... the fact that I INSTANTLY understood what the emperor wanted when he first said that the people might throw him a parade... I have been fully trained by corporate.

    • @anonygent
      @anonygent 2 года назад +37

      I knew, and I've never successfully adapted to the corporate world.

    • @MaryJosephrobi
      @MaryJosephrobi Год назад +16

      Me true. The secret of surviving corporate is to Always act dumb even when you are smart.

    • @emblemblade9245
      @emblemblade9245 Год назад +4

      I don’t remember corporate ever talking about spontaneous parades…

    • @richardjames1812
      @richardjames1812 6 месяцев назад +4

      @@emblemblade9245 No, but stuff like "the CEO is visiting us here at the Dallas office next month; I heard that when he visited the Charlotte office last year the staff there made him a cake and named a puppy after him and he loved it, so..." is real.

  • @monkewithinternetaccess6107
    @monkewithinternetaccess6107 2 года назад +1927

    Don’t forget when he survives an absolutely impossible situation, becoming the villain several decades later, making a character’s noble sacrifice completely meaningless

    • @CosmicCreeper99
      @CosmicCreeper99 2 года назад +195

      *Damn I feel like I’ve seen that one before*

    • @BurgerSoup
      @BurgerSoup 2 года назад +254

      "Somehow, Palpatine returned"

    • @Cheesusful
      @Cheesusful 2 года назад +228

      @@BurgerSoup "are you ever going to explain how that happened?"
      "no"
      "is anything our heroes do consequential to the story?"
      "not really"
      "why does any of it happen?"
      "Because lightsabres and explosions and hey look over there!"

    • @somethingclever4297
      @somethingclever4297 2 года назад +90

      Atleast it's better than having the main character who was shown to be the most kind and forgiving person suddenly becoming the biggest f*cking doechebag because of something they did that was completely out of character.

    • @samlarson9120
      @samlarson9120 2 года назад +5

      I just started watching Star Wars. What is this referencing?

  • @theodorebear6714
    @theodorebear6714 2 года назад +48

    "You don't squash 12 nephews without learning a thing or two about people."
    Wise words.
    Such a compassionate evil emperor.

  • @AdamButcher
    @AdamButcher 2 года назад +9

    00:33 - see 1 frame of tiny superimposed Steve when the shot changes. Is this the "squished nephew" look?

  • @CosmicCreeper99
    @CosmicCreeper99 2 года назад +353

    This literally could just be called “Best Palpatine impression”.

    • @oldvlognewtricks
      @oldvlognewtricks 2 года назад +24

      With a scoop of Dalek for good measure

    • @Ticktok_of_Oz
      @Ticktok_of_Oz 2 года назад +5

      @@oldvlognewtricks and a nice jab at musk as a digestive.

    • @Сайтамен
      @Сайтамен 2 года назад +1

      I guess we know what to expect from Evil Emperor Zurg in upcoming Lightyear movie...

    • @octochan
      @octochan 2 года назад +9

      "Palpatine, but insecure"

    • @boudicaastorm4540
      @boudicaastorm4540 2 года назад +4

      It's excellent. The only thing is that (having only seen the movies, at least) I've never really gotten the impression that Palpatine cares at all about what the average citizens think of him.

  • @TheZetaKai
    @TheZetaKai 2 года назад +976

    Just remember: the bad guy rules the realm for years of opulence and self-indulgence, and is only toppled in the last few minutes of the climax. It's not a bad deal, all things considered. Sure, the final 10 minutes or so may suck, but it might be worth it for decades of wealth and power.

    • @JannPoo
      @JannPoo 2 года назад +122

      I wonder if you are just quoting Tarquin from the Order of the Stick or you just coincidentally reached the same conclusion.

    • @ian_b
      @ian_b 2 года назад +55

      Let's face it, it's a better deal than working your backside off, then ending up in a care home.

    • @livingfray2340
      @livingfray2340 2 года назад +69

      And given the abundance of sequels its not like the land will stay evil-ruler-free for long anyway

    • @JM-mh1pp
      @JM-mh1pp 2 года назад +108

      Emperor is evil!
      -How?
      - He killed a dozen of his nephews!
      - Those rich bastards who would never gave me a time of day? Oh I just weep for them.
      - He created massive army.
      - Security yes, we are very secury, noticed how many barbarian raids there were on us ? Grand total of 0. Also my brother serves in the army, great pay, and chances of promotion.
      - he rules with iron fist!
      - administration works very efficiently agreed.

    • @Lichelf
      @Lichelf 2 года назад +30

      Just spend your limitless resources to sneak away and reitre right before it gets bad.
      Or negotiate with the heroes and offer them everything if they let you escape. It's a deal they can't refuse and it gets you out of trouble.

  • @dromankass8655
    @dromankass8655 2 года назад +48

    I loved that. All Hail the Beloved Emperor, Alasdair Beckett-King, First of His Name, Dark Lord of the Sith, Twisted Usurper of the Throne, Squasher of Nephews, Scourge of the Nibleboners, Ruler of all Helgasund. Long May He Reign!

  • @YourCapyFrenBigly_3DPipes1999
    @YourCapyFrenBigly_3DPipes1999 2 года назад +187

    At least he knows his reign will be secure. It wasn't easy tracking down all 12 nephews, but he managed it, by gum.
    And now, a grateful people willingly enshrine his portrait over all their mantlepieces.

    • @jazzy4830
      @jazzy4830 2 года назад +34

      Shame he forgot to account for his 12 nieces who will inevitably unite into a cabal and overthrow him before infighting leads to their own downfall.

    • @YourCapyFrenBigly_3DPipes1999
      @YourCapyFrenBigly_3DPipes1999 2 года назад +8

      @@jazzy4830 loool ah yes the nieces- he forgot about them! they will be united- until they aren't.
      But until then- may Lord Red Palpatine beware. He may never see the Niece Brigade coming.

    • @somethingclever4297
      @somethingclever4297 2 года назад +15

      Too bad one of his minions tasked with killing one of the nephew's found out that the nephew had a newborn child which the minion proceeded to take in as his own child.

    • @robk9050
      @robk9050 2 года назад +4

      It would be easy.. they all look like Steve...

    • @Lduck2
      @Lduck2 2 года назад

      Easy to kill 12 nephews if you just clone them

  • @TheZetaKai
    @TheZetaKai 2 года назад +128

    Atrocities are forgotten, eventually. Just commission some catchy songs about your awesomeness, and one day you'll be remembered fondly.

    • @Сайтамен
      @Сайтамен 2 года назад +1

      Владимир Путин молодец
      Политик, лидер и боец...

    • @JM-mh1pp
      @JM-mh1pp 2 года назад +21

      Ten thousand men slaughtered in a single battle
      - Ok, hire a good song writer, remember something bombastic and catchy!
      - But sire, we have killed all those people, burned cities
      - Trust me it will be awesome, also make another one, something simple that soldiers can sing, you know basic but fun.
      -No one will sing it.
      -Trust me, they will, also remember we need a good painter, our forces must be shown in the light and enemies in darkness, you know classic "we are children of light" kind of stuff.. I can see it, hundreds of years from now people will be reading adventure books about it.

    • @SG-df9er
      @SG-df9er 2 года назад +8

      maybe the next guy will make you look good in comparison

    • @Wednesdaywoe1975
      @Wednesdaywoe1975 2 года назад +2

      *Softly strums, "The Man They Call Jayne"

    • @AlexGoldhill
      @AlexGoldhill 2 года назад +2

      Just ask Lin-Manuel Miranda.

  • @NextToToddliness
    @NextToToddliness 2 года назад +152

    One of the most underrated RUclips channels, ever. I'm so glad I was a fan early on, so that when he blows up, or dies, I can say I was there.

    • @ABeckettKing
      @ABeckettKing  2 года назад +117

      Thanks! Very cool that I died in this scenario.

    • @DrDomich
      @DrDomich 2 года назад

      @@ABeckettKing You seem dead in every scenario 😁😁 As blowing up can't be good for anyone's health

    • @bornanagaming3329
      @bornanagaming3329 2 года назад

      So sad that he was blown up in an assasination orchestrated by the rebels

    • @anonimanonim2710
      @anonimanonim2710 Год назад +5

      Blowing up sounds like dying too

  • @randirafaeli
    @randirafaeli 2 года назад +121

    Even the Evil Emperor doesn't deserve to be in the forsaken place known as twitter

    • @ethelredhardrede1838
      @ethelredhardrede1838 2 года назад +4

      OF course it does, that is why Musk is buying it.
      Oh wait, he isn't evil, just so clueless upon occasion that its hard to tell the difference.

    • @yersiniapestis5237
      @yersiniapestis5237 2 года назад

      @@ethelredhardrede1838 Disagree, Elon Musk absolutely is evil.

    • @ethelredhardrede1838
      @ethelredhardrede1838 2 года назад

      @@yersiniapestis5237
      I absolutely disagree. Now we are even. You cannot support your claim.

  • @MatthewCampbell765
    @MatthewCampbell765 2 года назад +45

    For what it's worth, I'd imagine an evil emperor would be loved, primarily, by the people they enable. You see, when you take over an Empire you now have evil minions. These minions are people you allow and encourage to indulge their most sadistic impulses, and they'll appreciate that even if you aren't especially nice to them. This is why your evil empire should use skulls and spikes frequently, because it's great advertising for the kind of person who'd wanna serve your evil empire.

    • @liubei3058
      @liubei3058 Год назад +7

      ...
      You make a very valid point.

    • @sayvionwashington1939
      @sayvionwashington1939 Год назад +3

      Bonus point if the skulls came from failed revolutionaries

    • @lud3445
      @lud3445 Год назад

      You made it a bit too real Steve

    • @Svevsky
      @Svevsky 16 часов назад

      you basically explained bioleninist theory perfectly

  • @justanotherglorpsdaymornin5097
    @justanotherglorpsdaymornin5097 2 года назад +129

    You know what would make the parade even more spontaneous? Someone that's lost their family to the empire finding a small misfit group of friends and trying to overthrow the emperor.

  • @garnet1918
    @garnet1918 2 года назад +152

    Love your videos. The costumes, the effects, the acting, the jokes

    • @AxxLAfriku
      @AxxLAfriku 2 года назад

      NO, NOW YOU LISTEN TO ME! why should i waste my time at school? i am super famous on youtube. tell me, dear gar

    • @Littletime839
      @Littletime839 2 года назад +2

      He was good but I thought the Emperor was better

    • @ErwinPommel
      @ErwinPommel 2 года назад +1

      The hair.

  • @thetooginator153
    @thetooginator153 2 года назад +60

    I love it that people can make films where one actor plays all the parts! Add excellent green screen technology and it looks REAL! The only real limit is a person’s skill and creativity.

    • @gekkenhuisje
      @gekkenhuisje 2 года назад +5

      One of the best things that’s come out of the internet, tbh.

    • @thetooginator153
      @thetooginator153 2 года назад +1

      @@gekkenhuisje - I agree! I grew up before the internet, and I was an early internet user (I was a programmer). I thought the internet would be an unmitigated “good”, but I was wrong. However, things like this tip the internet towards “good”.
      Fortunately, the internet is still evolving, so we’ll see whether it fulfills its promise of uniting the world and letting people understand each other better. Who knows?

  • @dragonrykr
    @dragonrykr 2 года назад +12

    I love how visually he is the mix of Voldemort, Palpatine and van Gogh

  • @tperne69
    @tperne69 2 года назад +30

    The last "Oh" is hillarious 😂 I absolutely love your work 😊

  • @javierpatag3609
    @javierpatag3609 2 года назад +25

    Honestly, in real life, you'd be amazed how true this actually is.

    • @AuDHDarling
      @AuDHDarling 2 года назад

      I would believe that this is a transcript of a conversation between Tr*mp and one his children or other lackeys

    • @Diego-zz1df
      @Diego-zz1df Год назад

      Didn't the Saudi crown prince squash over a dozen nephews and uncles?

  • @pi3tr3
    @pi3tr3 2 года назад +9

    yes, you've done it! narcissism, delusions and being completely out of reality! great video

  • @ManOfTheWeek596
    @ManOfTheWeek596 2 года назад +37

    Yeah, Emperors seem to always make Alderaan decisions in making people love them

    • @moviefan2236
      @moviefan2236 2 года назад +6

      I don't know what is worse; the pun, or your channel name and profile pic. Take my like.

    • @Tasorius
      @Tasorius Год назад

      But here we have the true Emperor, Darth Jar.

  • @luminescentcore
    @luminescentcore 2 года назад +53

    how has Steve survived this long when he can't pick up unsubtle overtures 😂

    • @TigerLily61811
      @TigerLily61811 2 года назад +12

      The emperor loves his hair...

    • @jellyfish0311
      @jellyfish0311 2 года назад +11

      Steve is absolutely harmless and his inability to understand subtlety might be useful to stay informed of intrigue within the emperor's inner circle

    • @jorgebarriosmur
      @jorgebarriosmur 2 года назад +4

      He is probably NOT a nephew of the current Emperor (may he be praised over all other things)

    • @anonygent
      @anonygent 2 года назад +3

      He's just the latest in a long line of advisers, the last of whom was beheaded yesterday. Nothing personal, just tying up loose ends. Can't have the people's loyalty divided, you know.

    • @aaronleverton4221
      @aaronleverton4221 Год назад +2

      There have been many Steves. Or one Steve with many faces. But, one thing is known: Steve is the Emperor's most loyal acolyte. Wherever the Emperor goes, there, following behind, ready to serve His Imperial Majesty's edicts, er, commands, er, needs, that's it, goes Steve.

  • @nicoletheowl691
    @nicoletheowl691 2 года назад +116

    For someone who is afraid and gets slapped, Steve (what's his real name, though??) is surprisingly honest to the emperor. Steve is my real hero!

    • @sayven
      @sayven 2 года назад +1

      4Maybe he4's into it

  • @88kjk75
    @88kjk75 2 года назад +17

    As an evil emperor I can confirm that it's exactly like this.

  • @jacquelineking5783
    @jacquelineking5783 2 года назад +5

    He sounds like he at least worked hard for his position.

  • @jonbaxter2254
    @jonbaxter2254 2 года назад +353

    The thing is, the emperor has a good fiscal policy and his internal infrastructure development is the best it's been in decades.

    • @OridanIX
      @OridanIX 2 года назад +70

      That's all well and good, but I was hoping to have my back a little less stabbed and the rivers a little less burned when I voted the Emperor and his Squash All Nephews Party into supreme power. And I never thought he was gonna squash MY nephews as well!

    • @amoral_minority
      @amoral_minority 2 года назад +26

      Dictators with good economic policy are super rare though

    • @timtheenchanter6418
      @timtheenchanter6418 2 года назад +12

      And he built the aqueduct.....and the roads.

    • @Nethan2000
      @Nethan2000 2 года назад

      @@amoral_minority The only reason for that is the proliferation of Communist dictators in the last century.

    • @Alpostpone
      @Alpostpone 2 года назад +19

      @@timtheenchanter6418 After the river thing, he didn't really have a choice.

  • @BetterCallStan
    @BetterCallStan 2 года назад +47

    The ‘nephew’ line tells me that ABK is a bit mad about that latest Owl House Ep

  • @cancerino666
    @cancerino666 2 года назад +18

    Give it 500 years and the people will be like "emperor evilinus the first, founder of our nation and national symbol. Make sure kids learn about him and his personal life in school!"

    • @medievalist
      @medievalist 2 года назад +1

      Literally what the Japanese about Tokugawa :)

    • @sayvionwashington1939
      @sayvionwashington1939 Год назад

      Sure, he is responsible for half of the countries population dying, almost destroyed the already fragile economy twice, and tortured children. But he was the first, and you should respect him.

  • @cainen6355
    @cainen6355 2 года назад +5

    I ADORE this humor! Your facial expressions do such good work.

  • @chsparkle
    @chsparkle 10 месяцев назад +4

    I can't believe Steve couldn't understand how much the people wanted to throw the Emperor a spotanous parade.

  • @void-creature
    @void-creature Год назад +4

    Meanwhile, God Emperor Leto Atreides II:
    "For a thousand generations, all of mankind will depise me for what I am about to do, but even so, it is necessary."

    • @cthulu8mytoast
      @cthulu8mytoast Год назад

      He literally had zero fucks to give. He outlived all of his enemies from Children of Dune and God Emperor of Dune was about 3,000 years after.

    • @CoolGobyFish
      @CoolGobyFish Год назад

      yes, that's around that time that F. Herbert got into drugs)

  • @aceofcat5001
    @aceofcat5001 2 года назад +14

    It's hilarious how much it fits with Emperor Belos from The Owl House:
    1.He wants to unite all witches under his coven system
    2.there's a lackey named Steve
    3. He old
    4. *spoiler*
    He did kill multiple *Nephews*

  • @hilariousname6826
    @hilariousname6826 Год назад +2

    "It will be the biggest parade; people will come to me with tears in their eyes and say, Sir, we never thought a parade could be so big, your parade numbers are through the roof! They never thought a big parade could be so big, but that's what happens when the people love you, your numbers go through the roof!"

    • @TiagoMorbusSa
      @TiagoMorbusSa 9 месяцев назад +2

      Let me tell you folks, the love I get from the incredible people out there is just tremendous, believe me. They love me like nobody's ever been loved before, it's really something.

  • @johnriley9742
    @johnriley9742 2 года назад +17

    I don't there's a single skit I haven't liked. Keep em coming Emperor ABK

  • @trazynthekleptomancer5055
    @trazynthekleptomancer5055 2 года назад +1

    So this is what you have become, Gunnar Gunnarson ? Well played indeed faking your own death

  • @milgeekmedia
    @milgeekmedia 2 года назад +6

    I like that you took the time to translate this from Russian for us.

  • @1bful
    @1bful Год назад

    That disappointed, “oh,” was everything 😂👌

  • @tanatos5
    @tanatos5 2 года назад +6

    Well, I thought I’d try to write some witty comment, but instead; I’ll just take the easy route and read the comments..
    The community’s pretty awesome here, always making me laugh even more after watching the videos from one of my favourite content creators.

  • @Nantosuelta
    @Nantosuelta 2 года назад +10

    Alasdair Beckett King is the most underrated comedian and content creator of our time. It baffles me that he doesn't have millions of subscribers

  • @lisaroper421
    @lisaroper421 2 года назад +8

    The timing on that last sylable was 🤌
    Thank you for holding it an extra beat!

  • @Aware_Bear
    @Aware_Bear 2 года назад +3

    How are you not more popular? This is gold.

  • @chelivecheskoeik4439
    @chelivecheskoeik4439 2 года назад +13

    Watching this as a russian is a special kind of horror

    • @patriciaoffer9585
      @patriciaoffer9585 6 месяцев назад

      Vladimir Putin's a poseur.....

    • @TheGenuineDWNUT
      @TheGenuineDWNUT 2 месяца назад

      Are you worried that Putin will squash his 12 nephews and burn Russia's rivers and then make all Russians throw a ""spontaneous"" parade?

  • @somecasualdude1207
    @somecasualdude1207 2 года назад +16

    My man, you’re so good with these and I love them! Keep it up!

  • @tomlxyz
    @tomlxyz 2 года назад +831

    An evil emperor letting people have free speech on Twitter is kinda hilarious

    • @Draztikus
      @Draztikus 2 года назад +174

      this is right before he buys it

    • @planeswalkermeru7247
      @planeswalkermeru7247 2 года назад +28

      @@Draztikus Are you, maybe, referring to someone?

    • @sword4005
      @sword4005 2 года назад +72

      honestly if twitter hates you your doing your job right lol

    • @Shuizid
      @Shuizid 2 года назад

      @@sword4005 So true. Twitter just hates Hitler and Putin and Xi - so that must mean they are all amazing geniousses and tremendous people, no doubt.

    • @powerflumi
      @powerflumi 2 года назад

      To take this seriously for a moment, thats kinda what the chinese government is doing.
      "Allow" people sometimes to speak openly just so you can make a list who to "deal with later" or simply black mail them to be used as spies later.
      And that way they can delete certain comments while leaving others, e.g when Russia invaded Ukraine Chinese censorship deleted all negative online comments leaving only positive pro invasion ones left, making it seem as if the public universally agrees with what ever the state is doing or saying.
      The Soviets controlled through this means all of society, by for one making most people believe its only them who is unhappy with the state of things and on the other hand make them afraid of speaking out or risk it being recored/listened by the wrong people or that one of your frinds who is unhappy has been forced to spy on you after getting caught themselves.
      Its suprising how easy it is actually to controll a society that way

  • @theduke9292
    @theduke9292 Год назад +1

    “I want a spontaneous parade…and schedule it for Thursday new week Steve.”

  • @mjmaccabee7252
    @mjmaccabee7252 2 года назад +5

    Alastair is a genius. Literally. I can't understand why he doesn't have his own show.

  • @jeffstone2136
    @jeffstone2136 Год назад +1

    Nephew-squashing is a lost art, like barrel-making, or having an official idiot in your village.

    • @BNOBLE981
      @BNOBLE981 Год назад

      Cooperage is still alive and well.

  • @vagabondflow
    @vagabondflow 2 года назад +8

    Inside the Kremlin, right now

  • @Nakamichi_Jun
    @Nakamichi_Jun 2 года назад +4

    I love how much effort you put into these and keep them so little, you are so wonderful

  • @realhorrorshow8547
    @realhorrorshow8547 2 года назад +5

    To quote the Emperor Caligula: "Oderint dum metuant." Let them hate, so long as they fear.
    Mind you, he was done in by his own bodyguard, so you can take this too far.

    • @EcclesiastesLiker-py5ts
      @EcclesiastesLiker-py5ts 3 месяца назад +1

      Machiavelli he say better to be feared than to be loved, if possible be both, but never be hated.

  • @gwynevans6440
    @gwynevans6440 Год назад +2

    "They're quite upset about the rivers to be honest"
    Once again ABK predicts official Tory policy.

  • @15clank
    @15clank 2 года назад +11

    I have nothing but love and loyalty to my emperor

  • @Lord-Gazimus
    @Lord-Gazimus 5 месяцев назад +2

    "Somehow, Emperor Ginger survived."

  • @benjaminthibieroz4155
    @benjaminthibieroz4155 2 года назад +10

    The Emperor who unites ends up hated, but no one dares question his rules
    When his grandson rules, memories have faded and the imperial structure is well-built so the Empire can last
    It's during the second generation than an Empire is actually the most fragile

    • @anonygent
      @anonygent 2 года назад

      I would say fourth. That's when it all comes tumbling down. (Saul, David, Solomon, Rehoboam.)

    • @benjaminthibieroz4155
      @benjaminthibieroz4155 2 года назад

      @@anonygent And Commodus. I know. I just wanted to quote Brandon.

  • @YourCapyFrenBigly_3DPipes1999
    @YourCapyFrenBigly_3DPipes1999 2 года назад +1

    He looks like a perfectly lovable tyrant. I imagine the people will be pleased.

  • @DT-dc4br
    @DT-dc4br 2 года назад +7

    Do the people love me? In general, no.... but a select group of weird nerds will throw themselves on any criticism no matter how valid it is....

  • @millybuxx3650
    @millybuxx3650 2 года назад

    when the sane have to live through another "extraordinary popular delusion and the madness of crowds" as Charles Mackay was observing some two centuries ago, it is this kind of comedy that makes it worthwhile!!! thank you so much for jump-starting another day!!!

  • @lostmarble540
    @lostmarble540 2 года назад +6

    gotta do some rebranding. It's not we've burnt your rivers and forced you to march in a parade, it's we've made the land more suitable for exciting new developments and we're conducting fun (but still mandatory) team-building exercises.

  • @germanvisitor2
    @germanvisitor2 Год назад +2

    The secret is to have your name on the popular policies and some disposable pawn's name on the unpopular policies.

  • @KneelB4Bacon
    @KneelB4Bacon 2 года назад +5

    1:00 "My name's not Steve."
    "Steve . . ."
    lol. Reminds me of the dialog between Handsome Jack and one of his minions in Borderlands 2:
    "Anything else on today's agenda, Jimmy?"
    "The name's 'Jeffrey' sir. And no."
    "Thanks, Jimmy!"

    • @oldguy9051
      @oldguy9051 2 года назад

      Also: Perfect timing!

  • @MetalHeadReacts
    @MetalHeadReacts 2 года назад +1

    It's 3 am and i'm suffering a major bout of severe depression... getting myself drunk, i stumbled across this video by one of my favourite comedians... It made me laugh out loud and very loud at that... which isn't good since i've been living in a hotel for the last 4 months... but IS good because i needed the laugh...

  • @Joaoxorubatsu
    @Joaoxorubatsu 2 года назад +4

    1:29 Leto II was like:

  • @stc2828
    @stc2828 2 года назад +1

    "Now lets see what people say about me on Twitter.... Oh"
    Well, time to expand the labor camp!

  • @Steve_Green
    @Steve_Green 2 года назад +3

    Excellent sketch, with a great final punch at the end.

  • @Taverens_Pull
    @Taverens_Pull 2 года назад

    Most emperors will burn bridges. Not this guy. This emperor is so imperial he burned down the rivers. That's dedication right there.

  • @LiveErrors
    @LiveErrors 2 года назад +6

    i love the twist were he people came to remember his as one of the greats, sure he burned some rivers and was a bit of a diva but he did unite the lands and stabilize the echonomy and streamline the healthcare system... oh and he made the brothels state owned to improve working conditions

  • @wordzmyth
    @wordzmyth 2 года назад +2

    Now he just has to buddy up to the oligarch owner of Twitter and get a bot army to express completely real love for him

  • @psycthom
    @psycthom 2 года назад +7

    I don't know why but this gave me flashes of CIV 1 where if you hit a certain portion happy civilians they would spontaneously throw a parade.

  • @MartynDerg
    @MartynDerg Год назад +1

    you deserve an oscar just for the "aw..." at the end

  • @WhatPlantsCrave-ur1ht
    @WhatPlantsCrave-ur1ht 2 года назад +6

    I wasn't expecting Not Steve to survive, so that's pretty good.

  • @danielconde13
    @danielconde13 2 года назад +1

    - So, you want to _force_ the people to do a parade?
    - Forcing? Nah: I want my peacekeeping troopers to do a special _inviting_ operation...

  • @belltowersubductions5104
    @belltowersubductions5104 2 года назад +5

    ... oh.
    *Famous last words*

  • @talkinggibberish
    @talkinggibberish 2 года назад +2

    He then goes on to buy twitter

  • @mattwong7191
    @mattwong7191 2 года назад +3

    Hang in there Steve!

  • @VelvetJazz
    @VelvetJazz 2 года назад +2

    Ohmygoodness, he needs his own show. SERIOUSLY needs his own show!!! 🤣🤣🤣

  • @Korina42
    @Korina42 2 года назад +5

    I always wondered why some people want to rule the world/galaxy/multiverse; the thought of having to deal with all that bureaucracy and paperwork gives me a headache.

  • @rockCity777
    @rockCity777 2 года назад +1

    A very good impression of Queen Elizabeth.
    I don't know how you do it.

  • @titusmagnuseinuniversumaus6354
    @titusmagnuseinuniversumaus6354 2 года назад +6

    "Send Video to Moscow" button is missing.

  • @sinnexz
    @sinnexz 2 года назад

    work of genius! watched it a dozen times over ... fresh every time

  • @localhearthian2387
    @localhearthian2387 2 года назад +80

    I can't tell if this Emperor fellows supposed to be Elon Musk or Gul Dukat. Either way, great sketch.

    • @DeclanMBrennan
      @DeclanMBrennan 2 года назад +17

      I'd like some spontaneous congratulatory tweets on this fully operational platform that I now own. Cue evil cackle.

    • @KR-bv5og
      @KR-bv5og 2 года назад +21

      Broke: This is a parody of Emperor Palpatine
      Woke: This is a parody of Gul Dukat

    • @duzehalo
      @duzehalo 2 года назад +7

      Both, why not both! 😃

    • @megatronVS
      @megatronVS 2 года назад +2

      *Emperor mentions Twitter*
      "It'S eLoN!"

    • @MisterAppleEsq
      @MisterAppleEsq 2 года назад +4

      @@megatronVS description

  • @KneelB4Bacon
    @KneelB4Bacon 2 года назад +1

    _"You're not LISTENING, Steve! I want . . . . . . . a spontaneous . . . . . . parade!"_
    _"A spontaneous parade, Emperor. Of course."_
    lol.

  • @BrutusAlbion
    @BrutusAlbion 2 года назад +10

    The Emperor later seized twitter for hate speech and imposed totalitarian guidelines of spontaneous praise and love for the bestest ruler.
    All hail the Emperor! (tweeted from the best dungeon vacation evah!)

    • @JM-mh1pp
      @JM-mh1pp 2 года назад +3

      What I love about emperor is all the free speech we have!
      We can praise emperor in the morning, or even in the evening!
      We can do it everyday!
      As much as we want!*
      * but not below 3 times a day.

  • @MichaelHaneline
    @MichaelHaneline 2 года назад +1

    "ohhh... I guess I'm buying Twitter now."

  • @brianzhamilton
    @brianzhamilton 2 года назад +3

    Don’t worry, Emperor. People never say anything nice on Twitter anyway.

  • @MrJaggy123
    @MrJaggy123 2 года назад +2

    "you're afraid" "yes." "of these low, low prices! I'm emperor Eddie and today only is crazy Eddie's used car sale!!!"

  • @Novous
    @Novous Год назад +3

    To be fair, anyone who takes stuff over has at least a few hundred die-hard fans. "The guy started from nothing, rose to power, and killed all the younglings! That takes GUMPTION."

  • @marcherwitch9811
    @marcherwitch9811 2 года назад +1

    when you get the pages in your machiavelli's the prince stuck together...

  • @mentor397
    @mentor397 2 года назад +3

    I, for one, am happy to be living in the lands united under the one rule of the Emperor.

  • @ekklesiast
    @ekklesiast 3 месяца назад +1

    "I united the land" Every government ever