Steven Seagal is Under Siege (and a Crazy Person) - Cinemassacre Rental Reviews
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- Опубликовано: 26 мар 2020
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Under Siege is a 1992 American action thriller film starring Steven Seagal as an ex-Navy SEAL (now cook) who must stop a group of mercenaries, led by Tommy Lee Jones and Gary Busey, on the U.S. Navy battleship USS Missouri. It's basically Die Hard on a boat. In this review James, Justin, and Kieran discuss the film, how crazy of a person Steven Seagal is, check out Justin's Seagal memorabilia collection, and finally they drink a 15 year old Seagal energy drink!
It's "March-al Arts" month at Cinemassacre Video!!!
Here's other Rental Reviews this month:
Mar 6 - Drunken Master 1 & 2
Mar 13 - Bloodsport
Mar 20 - Kung Pow VS Kung Fu Hustle
Next month is Ape-ril... all ape movies!
We're bananas about it...
Special thanks to Shane Luis from REREZ for the Hoarders voice:
/ rereztv
/ rereztv
Follow us on Twitter:
James - / cinemassacre
Justin - / justysilverman
Kieran - / kieeeeern
Tony - / hackthemovies
Mike - / mike_matei
#StevenSeagal #UnderSiege #Cinemassacre #RentalReviews 
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why does it hurt when i pee
Hustle castle is another micotransaction riddled trash mobile game. Nice video tho
No, i don't think i will.
Its literally a fallout shelter rip off like westworld mobile
Dogma review 😈😎😂
I went to high school in Alaska in the early 90s and one of my classmates disappeared from school for a week. When he got back he told a bunch of us how his mom worked for some sort of backwoods tour company for celebrities, where a Hollywood star could be dropped off out in the wilderness of Alaska (with a party of experienced outdoorsmen to support them) and go out hiking and hunting and camping. My classmate was a huge Steven Seagal movie fan, so when Seagal's agent or PA or whatever signed him up for one of these vacation packages his mom arranged for him to go along on the trip.
He was so disappointed.
Apparently Steven Seagal hated hiking. They barely left the cabin where they stayed at. He drank beer endlessly, and kept yelling at the helpers to bring him a new beer every time he ran out. He bagged a pretty nice elk but didn't want the head OR the meat and COMPLAINED THAT THE RIFLE WAS SO LOUD.
My classmate's mom's boss called up Seagal's agent after they flew back and informed him that he was not welcome to use their services anymore. Supposedly the agent was not at all surprised by this response.
that's hilarious
That rings true.
This should become a movie
Seems about right...
The Great Outdoors, Steven Seagal edition
This video was previously recorded, we're all safe and sound (even after drinking a Steven Seagal energy drink!) Next theme month is APE-RIL, all Ape movies all April. Filmed these ones remotely to keep socially distanced. Hope you guys are doing well!
Just a thought you guys should do an "Outbreak" review in light of all the madness.
Big Fan AVGN✌
James Please would you review Shaolin Style PS1 game? It really is worth it !! Please and thank you ! :)
Thanks to all of Cinemassacre for continuing the good work! Among many other things, we all need a laugh now.
I sure hope Going Ape gets a honorable mention
Justin is living proof that even if you do something ironically, you're still doing that thing.
I like how Steven Seagal's sins range from human trafficking to running weird.
You mean running like a girl
@@lemmythebulldog8812 Don’t say that, no girl shouldn’t be compared to Seagal.
"Why do you consider yourself dressed up today?"
You're gonna need some ointment for that burn.
i came up with that joke. pretty happy they used it
That was a good joke!
@@newtonwallen3210 That joke was elite level.
Also You're aging horribly lol
Ah, Steven Seagal, the LJN of home video entertainment...
That makes under siege the maximum carnage of seagal movies
With an impractical martial art I suppose? 🤣
@Samson Themighty Cooool braw! 😎
Too real, my dude.
You nailed it!
The wall of Seagul lolololol. He sounds so ashamed when he says that.
Lmao james face when Justin is listing the reasons Steven seagal is crazy.
He IS not
Steven Segall is a hard nostalgia for me. My Ol' Man had all the tapes, we'd watch em while we watched Chuck Norris and Indy movies. Thank you guys for bringing the memories of that ponytail and bedroom eyed nutcase back to me.
Happy birthday, Justin!
27:00 that feeling when cinemassacre mentions Steve1989MREinfo.
Nice hiss
I'll be coming back at you with something new, or old.
Let's get this out onto a tray.
Let’s get this out on a tray
Nice!
@@Psycho-Ssnake nice hisss
I watch Hoarders all the time as well as AVGN and when this opening started, I was genuinely confused and thought the internet broke.
The introduction made me laugh :D I didn't know there was an actual show called that (Hoarders)
Steven Seagal is the Dan Hibiki of action movie stars.
Always loved Will Sasso’s impression of Seagal on Mad TV. Also Seagal’s cop show “Lawman” is hilarious.
I miss MadTV. They did not hold any punches of making fun of celebrities and politicians. 😄
The "Buddha or Bust" sketch was always the best one
@ihate names "One year for every bone I'm about to break in your body." - Steven Seagal, probably
Crouching Cops, Hidden Badges.
“And I don’t mean Steven Seagal” ha ha ha that was funny fun funny.
Thanks to Will Sasso from Mad TV I can never take Seagal seriously. "OH NO! NINJAS!"
He was great as Segeal. The parody he did with David Carradine is fucking classic.
"Who's David Carradine?"
"I'm David Carradine, the star of the show."
"No, I'M the star."
Family Guy made me not take him seriously when Joe watched a movie with Seagal about to fight seals.
Marked for Death is an underrated action classic.
My 2nd favorite Seagal movie behind: Hard to Kill.
I want that Steven Seagal action figure now.
Hard to kill was my favorite childhood movie. Loved the practice montage, still remember him breaking plank.
Awesome movie "you can take that to the bank"
Oh I’ll take it to the bank... the blood bank.
The Kill Bill song Kieran is referring to is 'Battle Without Honor or Humanity' by Tomoyasu Hotei. I think for the soundtrack Rza helped Tarantino pick out songs and he made a few instrumental interludes.
All that mattered with Under Siege was Erika Eleniak was in it. She was Baywatch Pam Anderson before anyone knew who Pam Anderson was.
My dad watched this with me on VHS when I was in elementary school at home release....the tape wasnt fucked up and my mom called on phone. He picked up and I immediately screamed I saw boobies because I was afraid she would find out. My father was most displeased.....
I would like this. But it's at '69' likes. So I cant mess with fate
she was also in the Beverly Hillbillies
Yes a steve1989 mre reference. James get him on the show
Nice hiss!
Let's get him out onto your show. Nice!
She was a Playmate, not a Playgirl. Important difference.
OOOOOk...we know you have hairy palms stop trying to sound smart. Well some people got it for the good interviews and gentlemen Topix we know you only open the pages of a Playboy magazine for the pictures of boobs. Stop trying to correct people
Lack of pre 18 grooming
They're from New Jersey, what do you expect.
@@toniogarcia1900 go ahead, bro, Google 'playgirl'...
Tonio Garcia I agree with TaleofTales...you clearly don’t know what playgirl is!
Arguably Seagal's best action film besides Hard To Kill.
Really wish they'd got him into one of The Expendables films.
JCVD hates steven seagal, so no way this was going to happen
Loved marked for death. Segal.vs voodoo posse's
He was in Machete, that is about as good as Seagal deserves.
Seagal is too arrogant to be in an Expendables movie
@@roamer1389 actually Seagal hates JCVD. Van Damme said he would work with Seagal but he doesn't get why Seagal hates him.
“Why do you consider yourself dressed up today” is the best line in here
Reminds me of somthing you would hear from a tim and eric sketch. And if youve never seen tim and eric a great example of their humor is a video you can look up. Just type in tim and eric blood wine. Hope you actually see it and also enjoy it!
Sounds like a Bill and Ted line
I remember when this came out it was seen as somewhat of a comeback for Tommy Lee Jones, and he stole the movie. Kind of paved the for his oscar winning performance in "The Fugitive". Andrew Davis directed both movies. I remember wanting to go see it for Erika Eleniak. I was 18....
You guys make this quarantine suck a lot less. Much love
Does anyone else remember Mad TV when will sasso did the Steven seagal segments?! They were gold!
James’ close up while Justin is going through his Playgirl magazine...priceless!
You guys should review:
-Tremors
-The Burbs with Carrie Fisher
-Evolution
-Deep Rising
p.s. rental reviews with all four of you guys are way better....
My dad has like, every Steven Segal movies. So the intro hit waaay too close to home xD
Poor you
@@dominicanplug6550 Never seen Marked for Death, Hard Target, Under Siege, Above the Law? Those are awsome movies.
This Segal movie is a hidden gem! My favorite part was when Tommy Lee Jones and Steven Segal had a mutual understanding of the world when Jones was talking how both of them are just puppets. Easily one of Segal's best-if not, the best!
I wouldn't really call it a hidden gem. This movie was pretty big back in 1992 (293 mill in todays dollars) and has been a cable staple for 25 years now.
Marcus Charley yes, Tommy Lee Jones is very convincing! Steven Segal is not as charismatic. It’s a situation where Segal is in a well written movie. But he did have a relatively pretty good on-screen presence I felt.
Nah, it was a blockbuster. At least a moderate one
Under Siege is definitely a gem, hidden or not. And definitely the best movie out of the series. Tommy Lee Jones was the perfect pick to play the bad guy. One of the other scenes I love outside of the scene with him and Seagal was the scene when he's talking to the Joint Chiefs of Staff and the CIA guy...going off on a serious rant for no reason and they didn't even pick up on that, that is some grade A acting; he was trained too good, figuratively as far as his character and literally as far as him being a Harvard grad. Though he wasn't a theatre/acting major at Harvard, he still had an Ivy League education.
It wasnt Steven Seagal's martial arts who turned boys into men in that movie, it was Erika Eleniak's sexy body.
You are God damn right, sir
Yes. Yes. Oh fucking yes.
Damn straight
Eh. I was crazy about her...and then she got those overblown implants and killed teenaged me’s fantasies.
Wow, amazing.
Great point on Tommy going too over the top in Batman, keeping up with Carey.
19:34, I watched this film growing up on VHS on The Navajo reservation at my grandparents house all the time, even on HBO.
"One thought he was invincible, the other thought he could fly."
"So what happened?"
"They were both wrong."
My Favorite Line in MARKED FOR DEATH.
Oh I love Mark For Death! Hard To Kill too..
Yes, of course he was wrong because only Boris is invincible!
Under Siege is Segal's best film for me. Under Siege 2: Dark Territory is Segal's best comedy for everybody.
Oh, and for some reason Segal can freakin SHRED that guitar, blues style, he can actually play, which makes it funnier than if he just released a regular "celebrity" album.
"I'll die like Tony did in the kumite" omarg, I appreciate the continuity!
The wu-Tang PSX game used the same engine from Thrill Kill. It's so funny how I have not heard about that game for 20 years and now suddenly its popping up all over the place!
The beauty about Steven Segal is that his martial arts were more believable, at least at the time period. He didn't do a bunch of flips and jumping spin kicks and shit. Lol. I'm proud of my fellow Michigander. 😀
7:49 this image is missing Seagal's Japanese daughter, Ayako Fujitani, probably best known in the west from the 90s Gamera movies. And she is far, FAR and away a better actor than her old man.
Clicked to watch them praise my favorite SS movie and his best movie. Boy, that sure went pear shaped, just like Seagal.
"Asian cordyceps"?? Thanks for coronavirus Steven Seagal, now will end up like The Last Of Us...
Cordyceps is a fungus, what does that have to do with Coronavirus?
Are you just making a joke about Seagal's Chinabooism oozing out of the product?
That 15 years old energy drink is where Covid-20 started.
I think it might be the antidote all those secret Tibet ingredients
Where is the “Cyborg” movie review with Van Damme?!?!
The actress was Erica Eleniak, who later played Ellie May in the Beverly Hillbillies movie.
And also was the blonde girl that Elliot Kisses in the movie E. T. 1982
i bought a used copy of True Lies on vhs before vhs died and the strip tease with jamie lee curtis was worn down too lol.
aw dude Jamie Lee Curtis
, really?
@@headshot217 she was damn fine in that scene
LOL
Jeff ‘roastmaster general’ Ross
“I guess me and Steven have only on thing in common, we’re both shitty actors.”
Seagal isn't just crazy. He's an egoistic 6th grader and a clown.
He's a comedy gold mine. There's very few people who've managed to embarrass themselves so completely and consistently over the years, without developing even a tiny bit of self awareness
Kieren just did the best Steven Seagal impression of all time 🤣🤣🤣🤣
One of Russia's finest actors
haha
found gold 👏
What about Gérard Depardieu?
Or Akan from Hardcore Henry
One of Putin's finest actors*
Steven Seagal is a national treasure.
Of Russia. 🇷🇺
Only in movies
In an alternate universe.
I loved Erika Eleniak around this time. She was also Elly May in the Beverly Hillbillies movie. I was looking her up on IMDb to make sure I was spelling her name right and realized she was the pretty girl in Elliot’s class in E. T.(she is listed as pretty girl in the credits).
Y'all forgot to mention the sequel to Under Siege called Under Siege 2 Dark Territory
You guys need to get Steven Seagal on the show. And also fight him on your show.
Stand fast! Do not pursue that man!
i remember seeing this in grade 8, and when the chick came out of the birthday cake topless, my teacher who was a woman said oh damn, fast forward, some of the guys were like WOOOOOOO!
Spooker Red Menace you watched that movie in school?? Wtf lmao
@@vhscopyofseinfeld Any time where we still had school days after the finals were done (which never made sense to me) the teachers would just set-up TVs & VCRs and play whatever was popular. Last school day in my senior year my Physics teacher played Basic Instinct.
Other Favorite Segal:
"Exit Wounds"
"The Glimmer Man"
"Hard to Kill"
Out for a kill is my favorite Steven Seagal Movie
"Marked for Death" is a good movie
I laughed out loud with the hearing of ‘The Wall of Seagal’.
Steve1985MREInfo is the guy you're thinking of that eats MREs.
Nice hiss
1989
I love that guy. His videos are the best
New England Wildlife & More, Also does MREs reviews and other old foods
I'll see you guys next time with something new, or old. Alright, see ya.
‘He found the enemy on the wrong side’ implies he found a traitor or a spy, I would think.
Relevant username.
Smiling at all the Erika Elaniak comments here, revealing the age of the typical audience of James Rolfe :D wassup mates :D
Some say Steven Seagal could have been a track and field star, but when the coach saw him run, he laughed so hard he made him a mascot instead.
"My men can kill 20 marines and 100 cooks!!"
“This little piggy went to the market... this little piggy stayed home... and ohhh mommaa...weeee weeee weeee dun dun dunnn dunn dun dunnnnnnn! -missle launches.-“
That opening... "Hi I'm Justin"...." Look at all that garbage". I give props to Justin for running with "the one no one likes" trope.
The nerd talking about wu tang is priceless ✊🏾✊🏾
Jesus christ justin has a damn playgirl magazine to complete his collection.
Gotta collect em all
You know he's for sure jacked it to that at least once just to see if he liked it
He just reads it for the articles.
"ironically"
That's a dedication that goes beyond the "ironic collection" if you ask me
I thought eating was Justin's addiction
Justin's enthusiasm about Stephen Segal is contagious
Rental reviews is a national treasure. RIP original rental reviews and long live talking tapes with tony!
Kierans constant Steven Seagal roasting was hikarious
Kieran- I want to personally thank you for making me laugh harder than I have since "the old days". The bit about Seagal's band and him wanting to fight you was CLASSIC!
"Yes, this is real." - My favourite quote.
wait... did James get a custom glass from Rolling Rock for featuring the beer in AVGN?
After I heard the Gene LaBell story, I'd just laugh whenever Seagal came on screen.😄
"You want to be king of the county." lolwut. That's literally what a count is in charge of.
Hahahahaha the beginning had me rolling!
Now I hear
"It's fabulouso" so good.
That was a great review of Under Siege. I enjoy your combination of in-depth movie research and satirical comedy! Very entertaining! I enjoy your series! You guys put a lot of hard work and love into your craft!
Kieran was so weirdly angry at Seagal it was uncomfortable.
Nothing makes me happier than when Seagal does his flappy-slappy kung-faux
hands
as someone who practices jiu jitsu, we don’t slappy bitchfight
@@Retrorevelations Aikido is of course a bullshit martial arts. It 1) Has no "real" moves and 2) Needs running Japanese men with swords to be effective
I love Steven seagal's early movies. This and marked for death were my favorite when I was younger.
drinking that drink at the end just made my day. thanks for seeing it through :D i've had cream pastries ferment before and give me a buzz.
Cool review guys, I’d love to see a rental movie review on Basic Instinct 1992, really curious to here your take on this 90s classic.
That might be a bit much for these reviews
Steven Segal movies are so cringey and cheesy, I love them so much.
This is one of the best review vids from Cinemassacre in awhile. Loved every second of it.
I liked seeing the big guy so excited over this. Good for him. We should all let ourselves indulge in what gives us even the slightest happiness in this crazy world. Happy B-Day bruh!
"The wall of Seagal" followed by a healthy pause of self reflection
that was some brief but intense existentialism lmao
Did no one else notice that Jar-Jar reference in the beginning?
I totally thought of ape ril during the review! Excellent can't wait!
I love this show in general, but I never laughed so hard in an episode of Rental Reviews. Thanks for the hours and hours of fun guys, the show will be missed.
Happy B-day Justin! Wish u an awesome day! 🤘🎉🎊
Hell yessssssss! These videos are my life now lol
Seagal is a poor man's Van Damme.
20:03 "Gary Busey got a little bit wacky too, but..." - "Well..." Hahaha. Start of another story.
James is such a diva he wanted another glass 😂 😂 great video guys 👍
After them drinking that 15 year-old energy drink, I'm imagining them to develop a giant tumor in the shape of Steven Seagal. o.O
It would be a Seagalshroom that takes over the host's mind, courtesy of the Cordyceps.
"Out for Justice" is one of my favorites, it's so goofy and hilarious. you guys should watch that one if you ever do another Seagal flick. Loved the video, thanks guys! I hope you're all doing well.
i saw 5 elements ninja back in like 1989...took me forever to find it again; all i remembered was the shiny costumes.
i love Kieran's hate for steven seagal lol
Should've done Hard to Kill, at least that has more Martial Arts
It was the 90's. My mom let me go to this with just friends when I was 13. Then, she thought it was ok to to take my younger brothers whole birthday party and she stayed to watch it. When the Baywatch blonde jumped out of the cake, my moms face was FN priceless...and then I was grounded for two months because I said it was just action. Behind the throat rip, that was the best action scene.