Person: Hi God, how's it going? God: do I know you? Person: Can you open the gates BECAUSE I would love to see my grandparents. God: well no, i don't know you, but... Person: have you ever made an exception? Just this one time. God: well ok. Just this time. Thanks Charisma on Command.
Slaie Lokk - Since gods were all created by mankind (all 12,000+ of them recorded by history) and are figments of our imagination, ‘they’ can make gods able to do whatever ‘they’ want. Depends on the day and the mood, I’m guessing.
The thing I like about your videos is how direct you are. There is no intro, just jumping right into it. No jumpcuts or title card, just flowing one topic into another. No silly animations or off-road jokes that I find derail videos like this, just talking and getting the point across. All that plus the fact that the content of the video itself is actually helping me in my social life, I just subscribed there now.
It's Sunday September 26th 2021 and, being a psychologist, a medical hypnotist and a corporate speaker, I enjoy watching videos like this off and on. But more importantly, your comment is spot-on. A psychologist since 68, I'm now 68 oddly enough, and I am about to make my very first video. Maping out what to say first and last has been very exhausting. But after reading your comment (2 years later) I have an absolutely clear view of what I need to do. Thank you very much for your intelligent insight.
@@freevirtualhypnosis These kind of videos have to the potential to change peoples lives for the better. The problem is getting the right point across effectively. Glad to help :)
Someone below tried to list these, but made a number of subtle and significant errors that alter the focus and perspective in each one that would cause them not to work, or be understood correctly. Here's a more accurate summary which matches what's actually said and explained in the video above for you - 1. Ask "Have you ever made an exception?" If you get a "no", follow up with - "Would it be possible to just make one exception, this time?" 2. When encountering resistance, take a break and state - "If I were in your position, I gotta be honest, I'd feel the same exact way..." (list reasons why and validate the other persons feelings, aligning with them), once they feel understood, add - "All of that said..." (then present reasons you believe they should do what you desire them to do). 3. When asked if you have anything you'd like to ask at the end of a job interview, say - "Obviously, I'd love to get this job, but when you're thinking down the line, after hiring me or someone else, how will you know, a year from now, whether or not you made the right choice? What will that person had to have done to have been an excellent hire?" As they start reciting to you what a fantastic employee looks like, they are looking at you, imagining having hired you, and you having been this person - so, when they go back into their mind later to consider who they're going to hire, they already have an image of you as the person they hired firmly planted within their mind. 4. Add the use of a person's name to any of these to make the more powerful. It gives them a sense that they know you from somewhere, when it's done with a tone of voice that that comes from assuming they're your friend. 5. Use the "Yes" ladder (a sales tactic - which can be used to lead up to asking for a date) - Ask related general, "curiosity" questions with high likelihood of "yes" response, leading up to the final, real question you want to ask. 6. Add the word "because" (the reason you come up with doesn't matter) - People assume when they hear the word "because" that whatever they hear after it must be justifying what came before it. With a little practice, these are all easy to use in a comfortable and natural manner, and are very effective in influencing others and obtaining the results that you desire.
1. Have you ever made an exception? Would it be possible to make an exception this one time? 2. If I were in your position, I would feel the same exact way, but... (don't know all facts) 3. After hiring me or someone else, how will you know, after a year, that you made the right choice? What will that person have done to make it an excellent hire? (they then see you as being the excellent hire) 4. mention the person's name (implies that you know him) 5. Use "Yes" ladder. Ask questions that get "yes" before asking big question. 6. Use "because." Give people a good reason to do what you want.
1. Have you ever made an exception? (0:48) 2. If I were in your position, I'd feel the same way (2:08) 3. After hiring me or someone else, how will you know you made the right choice? (3:23) 4. Use their name in your request (4:27) 5. The Yes Ladder (5:19) 6. Because! (6:45)
Then they have used it incorrectly. A True “yes” ladder actually is very fair and non-committing that it gives more power to the target than the predator.
I tried the "have you ever made an exception" tactic yesterday for the first time. Can't believe how easily it worked after the person had been very steadfast about the rules. I know this won't work everytime, but I can at least say I had success with it at least one time.
I’ll have to argue with you on that “yes ladder.” From training with an FBI hostage negotiator who got his information from a neuroscientist, it’s better to reframe your questions to get a “no” answer. Explaining in the simplest way possible. They WANT to say no. We’re wired that way. Doing this enables them to get the “No’s” out of the way and makes them feel more comfortable. For example: Instead of “Is now a good time to talk.” Say, “Is now a bad time to talk. Or instead of “Do you like dancing?” Say, “Do you have anything against dancing?”
That's a great concept to addon. Reading through the line, it hits me more as a yesn't rather than a complete no or a yes. By making the person say no but also having themselves explain their "no" in a way that is almost a yes just to not offend the person who asks the question, it creates a "yes"/rapport concept with the person and impulses people to not say no again for the rest of the questions out of respect
Awesome video! People are more emotional and open to persuasion than they think! 1 - "Have you ever made an exception?" "Would it be possible to make an exception this one time?" 2 - If I were in your position, I'd feel the same way 3 - For job interview: "After hiring me or someone else, how will you know you made the right choice?" 4 - Use the person's name in the request 5 - The YES ladder - get people saying yes before hitting them with the big ask. 6 - Use the word "because" in your request.
1- No I can't 2- No you don't you sycophant 3- Shouldn't you know already? Are you an incompetent fool? 4- Please keep it formal 5- Can you stop beating around the bush and come to the f-ing point? 6- Request denied.
HUMAN BACON_BITZ, DO YOU LIKE USING THESE SOCIAL INTERACTIONS. IS IT SOMETHING YOU’RE INTERESTED IN? WOULD YOU INTERACT WITH ME SOMETIME? HOW ABOUT NEXT SATURDAY AT 7PM?
@@Gid-J - HEY. DO YOU LIKE *insert band name here*? - Yeah, I've listened to all their albums at least once. - I TOO LIKE THEM VERY MUCH. DID YOU KNOW THEY ARE PERFORMING IN OUR CITY NEXT WEEK? - Yeah! I really want to go, but the tickets are a bit overpriced and I can't afford them. - HOW ABOUT I BUY TWO TICKETS AND WE CAN ERROR ERROR EЯЯ0R DATA_NOT_FOUND ABORT_CONVERSATION_PROTOCOL.DLL SORRY I TOLD YOU I HAVE TROUBLE WITH HUMAN INTERACTION
One time during a family lunch, while all of us just sat down on the dining table, my grandfather stood up and gestured all of us to stand up to pray. All of us stood up in synchrony without hesitation. Somehow that moment felt so powerful, I want to be as respectable as my grandfather, he is amazing *-*)9
Brett E I know I’m a dancer (stripper) and if I use too many of these lines I know people will think I’m fake. I would like if he had some more subtle ways of reasoning with people to be convincing because at the end of the day a manipulative person can seek out another manipulative person.
I mean I don’t know if anyone’s American on this thread but it could be that it is geared more towards social patterns in American culture. This would be creepy in my country, unless you shortened their name or something.
@@starrix4712 I am american and its super weird for someone to keep saying my name in conversation. I think that using someone's name is only to get their attention and using it multiple times in regular conversation seems ultra odd.
I used to be a pharmacy tech. People that wanted narcotics sometimes would come up to me and see my name tag and say, "Hey Joel, how's it going?" I knew immediately they were about to hand me a fake script for percocet. lol
The first one is also useful in conversational gatekeeping. “I don’t have fun at big parties I shouldn’t go”, “Have you ever had fun at one? Why not give it a shot?” Works wonders. Also the third one is universal, asking girls what their dream date is like, or a friend what’s their idea of a fun outing. When they tell you and know that you’re in a tiny sense looking for information they’ll tailor it for you, and imagine you as they think of it. Generally the most successful ways to persuade is to find ways to equate yourself to them, letting them feel like they can think like you, and show them how the idea you want to share is good from your own understanding.
I work as a gate keeper. 1 and 1a have never worked on me. I even went as far as saying "your jedi mind trick won't work here." Also, if some stranger ever uses my name, i know it's because they read my name tag. This will guarentee they will not get what they want. I recommend, sir, boss, buddy or introducing youself first and letting them tell you their name. In that last situation both of you are on an even playing field by knowing each others names. It's give and take and developes a bond.
Thank you very much for this, now i'm dating John, the bouncer of the salsa club because i saw myself saying "yes" to the big question, 1 year from now.
I used to get my parents to do anything by saying, “Do it for your son!” And it worked like a charm but i said it so much that it stopped working and never worked again
I saw your recommendation for the interview question a while ago and have used it since a few times... works wonderfully!! Not only do they imagine you in the job position as they are explaining what an excellent worker is, they are literally telling you what the essence of the job is. Thank you so much!
Wow, this video is great, Charlie! Now I know, this might seem fairly odd to say, but I have the biggest crush on you. You probably don't date strangers, but have you ever made an exeption? If I were in your position, I would think that I'm some crazy fangirl, but listen, look how exciting this journey would be! So many things to discover about oneanother, it's amazing. I'm sure you have thought many many times about what your ideal girlfriend would be like, so tell me about it! I'd love to know. Have you ever heard of cha-cha dancing? I'm sure you have, everyone have seen Dancing with the stars at some point! And do you like dancing? Do you think that trying cha-cha would be a fun thing to do? Maybe you would like to try it sometime? The last time I danced something chacha-like was in elementary school, but I would love to try it again. So Charlie, would you go on dance classes with me, because I think we would have great time together! Are you free next Saturday?
If I were a girl, I'd probably feel the same way. I know you may think you want Charlie, but when it comes to what you want, have you ever made an exception? Would you consider making an exception just this once? And after dating one of us, would you be able to tell me how you knew you made the right choice, Anna? Because I can be quite an amazing guy! After reading this, do you think this is just a joke, based on the content of the video? It may not be hilarious, but did you at least show that beautiful smile? No? Oh, okay, I failed... *slinks away*
If someone ever used read my nametag and asked me a friendly question using my name, my first thought was always, "How dare you use my slave name, I hate you."
Interesting Note: The Yes factor has worked so well for so long that people are expecting it. Throw them a curve like I do on calls for my yardwork service. During Pre-qualifying right at the start: "Do you want to be locked into a lengthy contract?" "No." "Good. We hate them too! Which is why we don't use them. Do you like paying money up front before seeing the results?" "No," they say, but with a small smile shining through their voice... "Me either, which is why we carry all the financial risk. You don't pay until you're dazzled." Asking questions clearly geared to elicit a No calls to their mind all the years of sales people trying this Yes tactic. Oh, the Yes tactic will be more powerful again, when the No tactic gets overused! LOL It is all cyclical, eh? Great video! P.S. Of course, the Yes ladder used in more social settings should never stop working, since nobody is on the look out for it. Especially if you space the Yes responses out a little. The social setting, and the time being far more flexible, following a conversation lets the keen observer see many opportunities to get a person to say Yes to you.
i have a kitty, or my sister, the owner of dis acc, her name is mitzy, here's a tip, never stop, my mom is letting me get a fish but I want a ferret, trst me, consistent annoyance will persuay them. and cats are pretty smart! tel them dat
I feel like a major component to persuasion is who people view you as. Based on interactions in the past, how your disposition, how your used to being treated.
Great Video! I suggest that you make a small recap or summary at the end of each video as it makes it much more easier to leave the video with a lesson
Hey! I have a suggestion. You guys are obviously very knowledgeable when it comes to psychology and modern interaction and you tend to mention books you read here and there that you learned from. Could you make a video listing 5-10 of the most important books you feel you've ever read to boost your understanding of... well, people? I realize this might be a big ask, but I'd love to see it happen - would be really helpful.
~ We've actually compiled a list of the best ones in our blog. Feel free to check it out. :-) www.charismaoncommand.com/best-personal-development-books/
Charlie, great video. I really appreciate that you go for a single long take on these. It's tough to get it 100%, but giving a live presentation shows that you actually do have the skills you're selling.
That question to ask the interview was mind blowing. Making them see you in the positive light can truly change the outcome if you get hired or not. Loved it. Will use it and come up with other ideas similar to this.
7:10 "Me and my buddies were …" Forty or so years later and, still, that grammar pattern triggers a memory of my grade 2 teacher, Miss Hanna, her voice loudly interrupting and correcting the speaker, "My buddies and I!"
I totally used this third question at an interview the other day!!! Lol got hired but didn’t take the job due to scheduling. It was interesting to hear the answer.
At the end of a job interview which I felt hadn't gone too well, the interviewers asked the usual "are there any questions you would like to ask us?", I asked some general questions about the company and then said "based on the interview are there any reasons why you feel you wouldn't offer me this position?". After a little bit of shock on their part one of the interviewers said I was a little too critical of my current employer, I got some feed back and I was able to explain why I was so critical, I was offered the job... which I didn't take!
You put negative thoughs in their mind by doing so, you were lucky it worked out for the best. In this video he just implant the idea of him as an employee so they can vizualise it and it will influence them, if you put negative toughts you will influence them in a bad way. I'm glad you nailed it.
Man, where did you learn to use your body language and facial expressions so well to communicate?!?!? It's something I've noticed in all of your videos and is really engaging.
Brilliant video! "If I were in your position, I would feel the exact same way". That is a very powerful line that makes an individual feel heard and understood.
Jazinovic Uhm what does 'neck' mean? Where I come from, to neck means something explicit lol. Also, my comment was a Bioshock reference not to be taken too seriously.
Impressive content dude! These are one of the brilliant ways to persuade people. I'm super delightful to mange adapting these phrases in my conversations..
You should do a video on Lincoln, based off the 2012 film. There are a few scenes in there where Lincoln’s charisma, story telling ability, and overall method of persuasion really show out. Not to mention he had unarguably one the most difficult ideologies that he needed to persuade other of buying into.
Hi Charlie. I know this video is pretty old now, but I like to watch your stuff over and over to really learn it and commit it to memory. I was just wondering; how important is the actual word “because” in the sentence? I mean, would your request still have been as effective if you had said “Would you mind sliding over? I’d like to sit on the couch”? So, Leaving out the word “because”.
I recommend everyone here read the book ''how to win friends and influence people'' it pretty much covers all of this and more, it literally changed my life.
I adore this channel and this video was super valuable. BUT as a girl who gets asked on dates (and also asks girls on dates), a simple "hey, I find you really charming/interesting. Can I take you out?" works much better than those 3 follow up questions. As long as you genuinely mean it, you're good👌
So funny. I just used the "because" on my son this morning to get him to do homework and it worked. Then I saw this video. I can't stop watching your videos. They are fantastic and collaborate with all I know about reading and understanding people. Thanks for making these.
Ram python They're actually very different things. Lonely is when you feel on your own and nobody can understand and relate to you, you can feel lonely even among a crowd.
What works for me is understanding that we can't always be accompanied by others. The most successful people can do things on their own. The other day I was at a University library and was motivated when I saw some really good looking girls studying comoletely alone on a late Saturday night. Also if you want to interact with others you can do hobbies or sports but never become needy with others or you'll push them away. Also realize there are probably more people with the same situation as yourself. Hope that helps
This channel made me more confident, has allowed me to befriend pretty much everyone everywhere, helped me learn to think from the perspectives of others and thus change my ideologies to the ones I think best and got my girlfriend out of the friendzone before she showed me the channel. Thanks.
I know this is an older video, but there’s another great line for interviews. Can’t use it everytime because they don’t always ask this, but if they ask you “where do you see yourself in 5/10 years??” Say “hopefully exactly where you’re sitting”. Gives a HUGE boost to their ego. Starts making them think “wow, I made it. People are aspiring to be where I am” and it works wonders believe me lol.
do not thank: 0:44 First persuasion phrase is to let them think it won't be a big deal 1:38 A person will more likely be persuaded if you bring empathy to the table 2:58 Make them see you in a positive light and work on your psychology prowess 4:19 Call them by their name 5:14 Another persuasion tactic is the use of the Yes Ladder 6:45 Use the power of "because"
Your complex understanding of human behaviour is simply brilliant, and it doesn't hurt that u r so damned easy on the eye and I am 100 percent straight, not that there's anything wrong with that, haha. Love u man.
I use No.2 in debates on facebook and RUclips comment sections all the time, it really helps. And No.3, the job interview one, is genius! I’m nervous enough before and during interviews... but the bit at the end, where they ask if you have any questions, is terrifying, because I get even more flustered and I can never think of anything worthwhile. I’m definitely gonna give that a go. Thanks!
Here's another good one! If you ask someone out somewhere and follow up with a funny/interesting anecdote related to where you would be taking them, they will be more interested in going. This works with more than just dates.
*sitting in exam hall looking at the ceiling* Examiner: “why are you not writing anything ?” Me: “I can't _because_ I haven't studied nothing” Me: *gets a 100*
wow! you're a great a speaker -- no "ums" or tangled words! i agree with almost all of the 6 things you've said. the first one... eh, i've found it to be a hit or miss and has more to do with your own likability than the person you're trying to persuade. 2nd phrase, nailed it. 3rd phrase: i struggle with this one. having interviewed a jillion times myself and having interviewed a jillion people as well, the shark tank mentality of the certain workforces expect you to already know what success looks like for you and the employer. if you don't know what that looks like coming in, you're probably not right for the job. 4,5: agree 100%. 6: semi-agree. adding "because" gives more context but may not be enough to actually persuade someone. overall, really loved this video!
As a long time bartender, I can personally attest to the power of using someone’s name, on both sides of the equation! Even though it’s super easy to read my name tag, a customer that addresses me by name will naturally get my attention in a more positive way than one who says “hey, barkeep!” Or “hey, barmaid!”. (Fun fact: “hey waitress” is the least effective and most annoying!) On my end, whether I’m dealing with regulars or someone new, simply using a persons name is good on all levels! People who feel acknowledged and respected feel more welcome, generally behave better, tend to tip more generously, and are more likely to come back or recommend the place to others. Realizing this dynamic early in my career when I was really horrible at remembering names, I tried something a teacher suggested in high school...making sure I said the persons name when introduced: “ hi, Joey, my name is...” or “nice to meet you, Joey...” It’s amazing how much something so simple can help so much! Sorry for the long comment, just wanted to share how successful that tip can be!
@LTrain A I enjoyed reading your comment. I just learned something reading your comment. Here it is: I do the same thing as you. I will make a lengthy comment because I feel passionate about what I'm trying to say. Then I will apologize for the lengthy comment at the end just like you did. I'm not going to say, I'm sorry for a long comment any longer because I see now that it weakens the statement when we don't need to do that. So here's a tip. If you feel good about your comment, own it, be confident in that comment, and don't apologize for it. If you feel it was for sure too long, then make it shorter. But on delivery, be fully confident about your comment. See mine is long right now, but I believe that like yours it was important and valuable information. So this time I'm not going to apologize for my comment's length. And thanks for teaching me that. Hey again, your lengthy comment was valuable. I enjoyed it, so no apology was needed. Awesome read.
Make a video on how to put into practice and make second nature things we learn here. I think the knowledge is great, but how do we Actually integrate them in our lives.
I saw your hiring question on another video you posted, used it. Def helped me get the job. I came across your video again looking for tips on presentations for that job. Just remember you. When I used that question on the panel interview, the room lit up. Thanks for the best advice.
As a literal gatekeeper who has a firm cut-off time for entry into the worksite, I am asked at least a dozen times every day, "Have you ever made an exception?" I also wear a name tag, so people use my name when asking. Everyone thinks they're special and that they deserve an exception. Almost everyone gives the exact same reason when they explain why I need to let them in. When I can tell someone is trying to manipulate me, and when they're doing so out of a sense of entitlement, I am not at all inclined to accommodate them. I'm surprised to hear these methods persuade others, so I guess anything's worth a try.
Me: **Goes to prison.**
Me: Ey, Can i leave?
Guard: No.
Me: Have you ever made an exception?
William H. Thorsen 😹😹😹😹
Beany 57 😂🤭
Should have used the guard's name.
Should have started with 3 easy questions that the guard says "yes" to.
@@SquatsAndThoughts rightttt 😂
When you’re trying to get into heaven: “Have you ever made an exception?”
I like that 😂😂😂
Person: Hi God, how's it going?
God: do I know you?
Person: Can you open the gates BECAUSE I would love to see my grandparents.
God: well no, i don't know you, but...
Person: have you ever made an exception? Just this one time.
God: well ok. Just this time.
Thanks Charisma on Command.
raider968 im sorry to ruin your joke, but they said god can read peoples mind
Slaie Lokk - Since gods were all created by mankind (all 12,000+ of them recorded by history) and are figments of our imagination, ‘they’ can make gods able to do whatever ‘they’ want. Depends on the day and the mood, I’m guessing.
Lmao😀 good one
* crossing international border without a passport.* " Have you ever made any exceptions? "
"You, you were trying to cross the border right? Walked right into that imperial ambush, didn't you"
LMAO
Oh you think I would let a law breaker into ARTSTOTZKA GLORY GREATEST
*D E T A I N E D*
Furjaden I’m going to need to see some PAPERS, PLEASE
*Storms Area 51*
Guards: We will shoot!
People: Have you ever made any exceptions?
The thing I like about your videos is how direct you are. There is no intro, just jumping right into it. No jumpcuts or title card, just flowing one topic into another. No silly animations or off-road jokes that I find derail videos like this, just talking and getting the point across. All that plus the fact that the content of the video itself is actually helping me in my social life, I just subscribed there now.
It's Sunday September 26th 2021 and, being a psychologist, a medical hypnotist and a corporate speaker, I enjoy watching videos like this off and on. But more importantly, your comment is spot-on. A psychologist since 68, I'm now 68 oddly enough, and I am about to make my very first video. Maping out what to say first and last has been very exhausting. But after reading your comment (2 years later) I have an absolutely clear view of what I need to do. Thank you very much for your intelligent insight.
@@freevirtualhypnosis These kind of videos have to the potential to change peoples lives for the better. The problem is getting the right point across effectively. Glad to help :)
@@freevirtualhypnosis Your name is Jonathan Banks? Mike! Excellent name :)
Great comment. I agree! ❤
Someone below tried to list these, but made a number of subtle and significant errors that alter the focus and perspective in each one that would cause them not to work, or be understood correctly. Here's a more accurate summary which matches what's actually said and explained in the video above for you -
1. Ask "Have you ever made an exception?"
If you get a "no", follow up with -
"Would it be possible to just make one exception, this time?"
2. When encountering resistance, take a break and state -
"If I were in your position, I gotta be honest, I'd feel the same exact way..." (list reasons why and validate the other persons feelings, aligning with them), once they feel understood, add -
"All of that said..." (then present reasons you believe they should do what you desire them to do).
3. When asked if you have anything you'd like to ask at the end of a job interview, say - "Obviously, I'd love to get this job, but when you're thinking down the line, after hiring me or someone else, how will you know, a year from now, whether or not you made the right choice? What will that person had to have done to have been an excellent hire?"
As they start reciting to you what a fantastic employee looks like, they are looking at you, imagining having hired you, and you having been this person - so, when they go back into their mind later to consider who they're going to hire, they already have an image of you as the person they hired firmly planted within their mind.
4. Add the use of a person's name to any of these to make the more powerful.
It gives them a sense that they know you from somewhere, when it's done with a tone of voice that that comes from assuming they're your friend.
5. Use the "Yes" ladder (a sales tactic - which can be used to lead up to asking for a date) -
Ask related general, "curiosity" questions with high likelihood of "yes" response, leading up to the final, real question you want to ask.
6. Add the word "because" (the reason you come up with doesn't matter) -
People assume when they hear the word "because" that whatever they hear after it must be justifying what came before it.
With a little practice, these are all easy to use in a comfortable and natural manner, and are very effective in influencing others and obtaining the results that you desire.
you are going to heaven! you are a great great man i tell you!!!
Good man 👍🏻
Thank you, I'm now in your Dept indefinitely
Me: *uses all of them at once*
Them: yEs mAsTeR
Better written. Thanks Glenn
1. Have you ever made an exception? Would it be possible to make an exception this one time?
2. If I were in your position, I would feel the same exact way, but... (don't know all facts)
3. After hiring me or someone else, how will you know, after a year, that you made the right choice? What will that person have done to make it an excellent hire? (they then see you as being the excellent hire)
4. mention the person's name (implies that you know him)
5. Use "Yes" ladder. Ask questions that get "yes" before asking big question.
6. Use "because." Give people a good reason to do what you want.
mydh122 thanks man, I was scrolling down for the tl;dr
not all heroes wear capes
A true man
The real MVP right here boys
mydh122 (
*Speech increased to 63*
Interphased damn that reference
now do that under every video and add 1 always
Interphased
I...I don't get it.
Nothing Really Matters it’s a Skyrim reference
Hachem Shahrour
I've played Skyrim 5 times over and still don't get it.
1. Have you ever made an exception? (0:48)
2. If I were in your position, I'd feel the same way (2:08)
3. After hiring me or someone else, how will you know you made the right choice? (3:23)
4. Use their name in your request (4:27)
5. The Yes Ladder (5:19)
6. Because! (6:45)
Tony Bai thanks!
Tony Bai thanks
Thanks!
U turned a 8 minute video into a 10 second video lol
Nandri 🙏
This did not work, my friends still doesnt want kfc
Try taco bell or burger king
F
Their weird lol jk 😂
Im trying to convince my friend to watch obx😂
Good
"would you kindly" is the best phrase for persuasion
"Because" works better with friends, "kindly" more likely to work with people not deeply close
Bioshock
Works every time! Amazing reference.
would you kindly set me on fire
Dell customer service used this. It gets old after the upteenth time.
When someone uses the "yes" ladder on me, I like to slam them through the "no" brick wall!
Feel similarly when somebody keeps using my name.
Then they have used it incorrectly. A True “yes” ladder actually is very fair and non-committing that it gives more power to the target than the predator.
Don’t worry. They won’t. 🤦🏻♂️
Lmaooo i feel u
Tony James Gilpin 🤣🤣🤣 LMAO!!!
THIS GUY is really sharp! he's done his homework and presents in a non-condescending fashion. Kudos!
Agreed, I really like him and I I'm quite critical
I agree
I tried the "have you ever made an exception" tactic yesterday for the first time. Can't believe how easily it worked after the person had been very steadfast about the rules. I know this won't work everytime, but I can at least say I had success with it at least one time.
Such a great video!
Hi
No
Hi Justin 🌞
I’ll have to argue with you on that “yes ladder.” From training with an FBI hostage negotiator who got his information from a neuroscientist, it’s better to reframe your questions to get a “no” answer. Explaining in the simplest way possible. They WANT to say no. We’re wired that way. Doing this enables them to get the “No’s” out of the way and makes them feel more comfortable.
For example: Instead of “Is now a good time to talk.” Say, “Is now a bad time to talk.
Or instead of “Do you like dancing?” Say, “Do you have anything against dancing?”
This makes sense but I don’t trust the fbi :^)
would "they" be referring to people in general or the targets of the hostage negotiators?
That's a great concept to addon. Reading through the line, it hits me more as a yesn't rather than a complete no or a yes. By making the person say no but also having themselves explain their "no" in a way that is almost a yes just to not offend the person who asks the question, it creates a "yes"/rapport concept with the person and impulses people to not say no again for the rest of the questions out of respect
I too immediately thought of Chris Voss disagreeing with the “yes” strategy! Aim for “no!”
@@freeflowme aim for no?
Awesome video!
People are more emotional and open to persuasion than they think!
1 - "Have you ever made an exception?" "Would it be possible to make an exception this one time?"
2 - If I were in your position, I'd feel the same way
3 - For job interview: "After hiring me or someone else, how will you know you made the right choice?"
4 - Use the person's name in the request
5 - The YES ladder - get people saying yes before hitting them with the big ask.
6 - Use the word "because" in your request.
1- No I can't
2- No you don't you sycophant
3- Shouldn't you know already? Are you an incompetent fool?
4- Please keep it formal
5- Can you stop beating around the bush and come to the f-ing point?
6- Request denied.
YES, AS A HUMAN BEING WHO HAS TROUBLE WITH SOCIAL INTERACTION I WILL DEFINITELY USE THIS IN HUMAN SOCIAL ENVIRONMENTS.
I read this as if you were a very loud robot.
First advice. Stop screaming.
HUMAN BACON_BITZ, DO YOU LIKE USING THESE SOCIAL INTERACTIONS. IS IT SOMETHING YOU’RE INTERESTED IN? WOULD YOU INTERACT WITH ME SOMETIME? HOW ABOUT NEXT SATURDAY AT 7PM?
@@Gid-J - HEY. DO YOU LIKE *insert band name here*?
- Yeah, I've listened to all their albums at least once.
- I TOO LIKE THEM VERY MUCH. DID YOU KNOW THEY ARE PERFORMING IN OUR CITY NEXT WEEK?
- Yeah! I really want to go, but the tickets are a bit overpriced and I can't afford them.
- HOW ABOUT I BUY TWO TICKETS AND WE CAN ERROR ERROR EЯЯ0R DATA_NOT_FOUND ABORT_CONVERSATION_PROTOCOL.DLL SORRY I TOLD YOU I HAVE TROUBLE WITH HUMAN INTERACTION
"Draw near to God and He will draw near to you." -TheBible🌺
Yes, his simile is captivating and slightly infectious. However, unlike a joker his smile is doesn't have that sinister edge.
Is that Thanos bear
@@hannah60000 imagine it with red lips.. then you'll see X)
It's kind of like the Cheshire Cat
I like his smile
One time during a family lunch, while all of us just sat down on the dining table, my grandfather stood up and gestured all of us to stand up to pray. All of us stood up in synchrony without hesitation. Somehow that moment felt so powerful, I want to be as respectable as my grandfather, he is amazing *-*)9
He sounds like a lovely man. ❤️
When someone uses my name when talking straight to me more than once in a conversation, I get suspicious and annoyed. Just comes off as fake to me.
Brett E I know I’m a dancer (stripper) and if I use too many of these lines I know people will think I’m fake. I would like if he had some more subtle ways of reasoning with people to be convincing because at the end of the day a manipulative person can seek out another manipulative person.
I mean I don’t know if anyone’s American on this thread but it could be that it is geared more towards social patterns in American culture. This would be creepy in my country, unless you shortened their name or something.
@@starrix4712 I am american and its super weird for someone to keep saying my name in conversation. I think that using someone's name is only to get their attention and using it multiple times in regular conversation seems ultra odd.
I used to be a pharmacy tech. People that wanted narcotics sometimes would come up to me and see my name tag and say, "Hey Joel, how's it going?" I knew immediately they were about to hand me a fake script for percocet. lol
It's definitely a red flag for me. Another one is the "feel, felt, found" method. I just start laughing when someone tries that.
The first one is also useful in conversational gatekeeping. “I don’t have fun at big parties I shouldn’t go”, “Have you ever had fun at one? Why not give it a shot?” Works wonders.
Also the third one is universal, asking girls what their dream date is like, or a friend what’s their idea of a fun outing. When they tell you and know that you’re in a tiny sense looking for information they’ll tailor it for you, and imagine you as they think of it.
Generally the most successful ways to persuade is to find ways to equate yourself to them, letting them feel like they can think like you, and show them how the idea you want to share is good from your own understanding.
I work as a gate keeper. 1 and 1a have never worked on me. I even went as far as saying "your jedi mind trick won't work here."
Also, if some stranger ever uses my name, i know it's because they read my name tag. This will guarentee they will not get what they want.
I recommend, sir, boss, buddy or introducing youself first and letting them tell you their name. In that last situation both of you are on an even playing field by knowing each others names. It's give and take and developes a bond.
Oh no, you caught our source
It doesn't work on you because you're here watching RUclips videos on it
@@Jahnely nah, been in my line of work a long time. Long before these vids. It never has worked on me.
@@kaceykace7421 wHaT iF y0u mAdE aN eXcEPtiOn thiS oNE tImE BECAUSE i really neEd tHiS
Ok, fair enough, but these are not the droids you are looking for...
Thank you very much for this, now i'm dating John, the bouncer of the salsa club because i saw myself saying "yes" to the big question, 1 year from now.
aedelya i see what you did there.
aedelya this is the best comment I’ve ever seen
well it has been a year now
@Clorox Bleach She incorporated all 6 phrases from the video's message into her comment.
@@im.jintan She didnt make an exception though.
I used to get my parents to do anything by saying, “Do it for your son!” And it worked like a charm but i said it so much that it stopped working and never worked again
I saw your recommendation for the interview question a while ago and have used it since a few times... works wonderfully!!
Not only do they imagine you in the job position as they are explaining what an excellent worker is, they are literally telling you what the essence of the job is. Thank you so much!
But did that Increase your chances of being hired? Did u get hired at any of the jobs?
Wow, this video is great, Charlie! Now I know, this might seem fairly odd to say, but I have the biggest crush on you. You probably don't date strangers, but have you ever made an exeption? If I were in your position, I would think that I'm some crazy fangirl, but listen, look how exciting this journey would be! So many things to discover about oneanother, it's amazing. I'm sure you have thought many many times about what your ideal girlfriend would be like, so tell me about it! I'd love to know. Have you ever heard of cha-cha dancing? I'm sure you have, everyone have seen Dancing with the stars at some point! And do you like dancing? Do you think that trying cha-cha would be a fun thing to do? Maybe you would like to try it sometime? The last time I danced something chacha-like was in elementary school, but I would love to try it again. So Charlie, would you go on dance classes with me, because I think we would have great time together! Are you free next Saturday?
LoL!
Love this
If I were a girl, I'd probably feel the same way. I know you may think you want Charlie, but when it comes to what you want, have you ever made an exception? Would you consider making an exception just this once? And after dating one of us, would you be able to tell me how you knew you made the right choice, Anna? Because I can be quite an amazing guy!
After reading this, do you think this is just a joke, based on the content of the video? It may not be hilarious, but did you at least show that beautiful smile? No? Oh, okay, I failed... *slinks away*
I definitely smiled!
ooh, that was really charming
If someone ever used read my nametag and asked me a friendly question using my name, my first thought was always, "How dare you use my slave name, I hate you."
@adiosnon LMAOOOOOO
Did you just use "because" to get me to click notification bell? :)
I think he did.
Me : goes to job interview.
Interviewer : why should we hire you?
Me : Have your ever made an exception?
🤪😜😂🤣😊😁😂
Interesting Note:
The Yes factor has worked so well for so long that people are expecting it. Throw them a curve like I do on calls for my yardwork service.
During Pre-qualifying right at the start:
"Do you want to be locked into a lengthy contract?"
"No."
"Good. We hate them too! Which is why we don't use them. Do you like paying money up front before seeing the results?"
"No," they say, but with a small smile shining through their voice...
"Me either, which is why we carry all the financial risk. You don't pay until you're dazzled."
Asking questions clearly geared to elicit a No calls to their mind all the years of sales people trying this Yes tactic.
Oh, the Yes tactic will be more powerful again, when the No tactic gets overused! LOL It is all cyclical, eh?
Great video!
P.S.
Of course, the Yes ladder used in more social settings should never stop working, since nobody is on the look out for it. Especially if you space the Yes responses out a little. The social setting, and the time being far more flexible, following a conversation lets the keen observer see many opportunities to get a person to say Yes to you.
4:27 *me trying to persuade my parents to get me a cat*
*says their name*
the end
*The End*
Lmao
Call them dad momma just act more nice and not mad
I’m trying to convince my aunt and uncle (who I live with) to buy me doc martens 😭✋
i have a kitty, or my sister, the owner of dis acc, her name is mitzy, here's a tip, never stop, my mom is letting me get a fish but I want a ferret, trst me, consistent annoyance will persuay them. and cats are pretty smart! tel them dat
I feel like a major component to persuasion is who people view you as. Based on interactions in the past, how your disposition, how your used to being treated.
Great Video!
I suggest that you make a small recap or summary at the end of each video as it makes it much more easier to leave the video with a lesson
Omar Sabeaayon agreed
yeah thats a freakin good idea
I think he usually does a quick recap at the end. Not always but most of the time.
Omar Sabeaayon Yeah, something akin to the Crash Course series by the vlogbrothers would be helpful
agree 100%
"Have you ever made an exception" Thats gold! Puts person in a world of thought and hesitancy
OMG THIS IS THE BEST SO MY MOM TOOK MY PHONE AND USED THE “Have you ever made an exception” THEN SHE GAVE IT BACK
You're kidding.
False you couldn’t watch the video without you’re phone
Hey! I have a suggestion.
You guys are obviously very knowledgeable when it comes to psychology and modern interaction and you tend to mention books you read here and there that you learned from.
Could you make a video listing 5-10 of the most important books you feel you've ever read to boost your understanding of... well, people? I realize this might be a big ask, but I'd love to see it happen - would be really helpful.
This is exactly what I need!
~ We've actually compiled a list of the best ones in our blog. Feel free to check it out. :-)
www.charismaoncommand.com/best-personal-development-books/
Charisma on Command
This is great. Thanks!
Charlie, great video. I really appreciate that you go for a single long take on these. It's tough to get it 100%, but giving a live presentation shows that you actually do have the skills you're selling.
I’m a trained therapist & your examples are surface level tactics that are quite effective. Great video! 👍🏽
~ Thanks +k-love!
I'm a trained therapist and i approve you...
It's more than surface...
I'm a therapist too.
The interview question on how will you know that you made the right decision is terrific!
That question to ask the interview was mind blowing. Making them see you in the positive light can truly change the outcome if you get hired or not. Loved it. Will use it and come up with other ideas similar to this.
7:10 "Me and my buddies were …"
Forty or so years later and, still, that grammar pattern triggers a memory of my grade 2 teacher, Miss Hanna, her voice loudly interrupting and correcting the speaker, "My buddies and I!"
Im just here cause Im trying to get my coworkers to cover for me 😂
Did it work?
Yeah did it work? :o
Did it work? Lol 😂
I totally used this third question at an interview the other day!!! Lol got hired but didn’t take the job due to scheduling. It was interesting to hear the answer.
That’s cool!
I love how you have a personal experience with every point you make. It puts me at ease and makes me feel confident in your advice.
At the end of a job interview which I felt hadn't gone too well, the interviewers asked the usual "are there any questions you would like to ask us?", I asked some general questions about the company and then said "based on the interview are there any reasons why you feel you wouldn't offer me this position?". After a little bit of shock on their part one of the interviewers said I was a little too critical of my current employer, I got some feed back and I was able to explain why I was so critical, I was offered the job... which I didn't take!
You put negative thoughs in their mind by doing so, you were lucky it worked out for the best. In this video he just implant the idea of him as an employee so they can vizualise it and it will influence them, if you put negative toughts you will influence them in a bad way. I'm glad you nailed it.
Love how you used 'Because' at the end when asking to turn on notifications XD
And it worked with me. I almost never hit that bell, but I felt compelled to do it, now.
Finally. Quality self-improvement content on RUclips.
I just convinced someone to having a party this is amazing
😃😃😃😃😃
@¡ fvcking hopeless ! jui jitsu
Man, where did you learn to use your body language and facial expressions so well to communicate?!?!? It's something I've noticed in all of your videos and is really engaging.
Brilliant video! "If I were in your position, I would feel the exact same way". That is a very powerful line that makes an individual feel heard and understood.
but it's not about you, it's about them and you made it all about you. there are other ways to be more empathic
stop teaching human glitches and exploits.
jk, i need a patch
I feel like this guy should write a book, called "Human Glitches & Exploits"
azeller09 too weak, pls buff
You used the "because" technique at the end..... smart ;)
I thought, I was the only one who noticed 😊😊😊
Because is a great justified according to Jordan Belfort
Brilliant topic! Way to continually come up with topics I had no idea I needed.
Absolutely agree to learn someone's name is to gain their trust! Great advice
Legit my most favorite video of yours that I have ever seen. Thanks a lot man, you're changing lives!
It's outstanding the way you convey the messages. Honest admiration, thanks for sharing valuable ideas.
~ Happy to share :-)
Everyone: *Malicious purpose*
Me: *Convincing friend to join club*
Club penguin
"Would you kindly" didn't make the list?? That phrase literally controls people.
AYYYY LMAO.
"Would you kindly" - a powerful phrase, familiar phrase...
I've actually used a similar phrase ''would you be a lamb and..'' from the big bang theory lol its surprisingly effective.
Whenever I get a work email with 'kindly' in the request it makes me want to neck
Jazinovic Uhm what does 'neck' mean? Where I come from, to neck means something explicit lol. Also, my comment was a Bioshock reference not to be taken too seriously.
This video is gold, I’ve been using the interview desde for a few years now and its infallible!
Impressive content dude! These are one of the brilliant ways to persuade people. I'm super delightful to mange adapting these phrases in my conversations..
You should do a video on Lincoln, based off the 2012 film. There are a few scenes in there where Lincoln’s charisma, story telling ability, and overall method of persuasion really show out. Not to mention he had unarguably one the most difficult ideologies that he needed to persuade other of buying into.
Hi Charlie. I know this video is pretty old now, but I like to watch your stuff over and over to really learn it and commit it to memory. I was just wondering; how important is the actual word “because” in the sentence? I mean, would your request still have been as effective if you had said “Would you mind sliding over? I’d like to sit on the couch”? So, Leaving out the word “because”.
" After hiring me or someone else, how will you know you made the right choice? " - OMG I regret not knowing this one for a recent job interview!
I'm glad I gave your channel a chance bro, great work!
~ Glad you did! Appreciate it. :-)
I got a scholarship because of this video. Thanks man.
I recommend everyone here read the book ''how to win friends and influence people'' it pretty much covers all of this and more, it literally changed my life.
Thanks man! another one to add on the pile haha
Making my day once again, Charlie!)
Wow this man just used all his tactics at the end
I adore this channel and this video was super valuable.
BUT as a girl who gets asked on dates (and also asks girls on dates), a simple "hey, I find you really charming/interesting. Can I take you out?" works much better than those 3 follow up questions. As long as you genuinely mean it, you're good👌
So funny. I just used the "because" on my son this morning to get him to do homework and it worked. Then I saw this video. I can't stop watching your videos. They are fantastic and collaborate with all I know about reading and understanding people. Thanks for making these.
THIS IS THE BEST
His videos keep getting better!
One word… “free”
works on me!
Did someone say free? Lol
Interviewer: Tell me a bit about yourself.
Me: It´s free.
Interviewer: You´re hired!
Thanks lol
Free HIV?
Please make a video on how to alone but not feel lonely.
Ram python They're actually very different things. Lonely is when you feel on your own and nobody can understand and relate to you, you can feel lonely even among a crowd.
Ram python Simple, the internet
Nikhil Krishnan I guess I'm lonely then
What works for me is understanding that we can't always be accompanied by others. The most successful people can do things on their own. The other day I was at a University library and was motivated when I saw some really good looking girls studying comoletely alone on a late Saturday night. Also if you want to interact with others you can do hobbies or sports but never become needy with others or you'll push them away. Also realize there are probably more people with the same situation as yourself. Hope that helps
he just recently did. its a video about self love.
This channel made me more confident, has allowed me to befriend pretty much everyone everywhere, helped me learn to think from the perspectives of others and thus change my ideologies to the ones I think best and got my girlfriend out of the friendzone before she showed me the channel. Thanks.
I know this is an older video, but there’s another great line for interviews. Can’t use it everytime because they don’t always ask this, but if they ask you “where do you see yourself in 5/10 years??” Say “hopefully exactly where you’re sitting”. Gives a HUGE boost to their ego. Starts making them think “wow, I made it. People are aspiring to be where I am” and it works wonders believe me lol.
Man , you are really amazing! I wish i could subscribe twice! 😉
Great video... again!
~ Appreciate it :-)
“Have you ever made an exception” I’m gonna use that one on my teacher
??
do not thank:
0:44 First persuasion phrase is to let them think it won't be a big deal
1:38 A person will more likely be persuaded if you bring empathy to the table
2:58 Make them see you in a positive light and work on your psychology prowess
4:19 Call them by their name
5:14 Another persuasion tactic is the use of the Yes Ladder
6:45 Use the power of "because"
Thanks.
Thanks
Don't tell me what to do, you marvelous bastard!
thank
Your complex understanding of human behaviour is simply brilliant, and it doesn't hurt that u r so damned easy on the eye and I am 100 percent straight, not that there's anything wrong with that, haha. Love u man.
I use No.2 in debates on facebook and RUclips comment sections all the time, it really helps.
And No.3, the job interview one, is genius! I’m nervous enough before and during interviews... but the bit at the end, where they ask if you have any questions, is terrifying, because I get even more flustered and I can never think of anything worthwhile.
I’m definitely gonna give that a go. Thanks!
BEEN WAITING FOR THISS
Here's another good one! If you ask someone out somewhere and follow up with a funny/interesting anecdote related to where you would be taking them, they will be more interested in going. This works with more than just dates.
*I was using these phrases all these years without understanding the sorcery behind it* 😃
I've only seen a handful of your videos and I will tell you this info is so valuable ... THANK YOU!
Such an excellent video. Thanks for making this kind of video.
😂😂😂 I used these tricks at my work place and have been getting along and im feeling like Wolf of Wall street
Lmao fr?
*sitting in exam hall looking at the ceiling*
Examiner: “why are you not writing anything ?”
Me: “I can't _because_ I haven't studied nothing”
Me: *gets a 100*
you such a genus
True that!
Penus
wow! you're a great a speaker -- no "ums" or tangled words!
i agree with almost all of the 6 things you've said. the first one... eh, i've found it to be a hit or miss and has more to do with your own likability than the person you're trying to persuade. 2nd phrase, nailed it. 3rd phrase: i struggle with this one. having interviewed a jillion times myself and having interviewed a jillion people as well, the shark tank mentality of the certain workforces expect you to already know what success looks like for you and the employer. if you don't know what that looks like coming in, you're probably not right for the job. 4,5: agree 100%. 6: semi-agree. adding "because" gives more context but may not be enough to actually persuade someone. overall, really loved this video!
I can tell this all started with your smile, didn't it? This is where all the understanding of charisma began, I just know it.
As a long time bartender, I can personally attest to the power of using someone’s name, on both sides of the equation! Even though it’s super easy to read my name tag, a customer that addresses me by name will naturally get my attention in a more positive way than one who says “hey, barkeep!” Or “hey, barmaid!”. (Fun fact: “hey waitress” is the least effective and most annoying!)
On my end, whether I’m dealing with regulars or someone new, simply using a persons name is good on all levels! People who feel acknowledged and respected feel more welcome, generally behave better, tend to tip more generously, and are more likely to come back or recommend the place to others.
Realizing this dynamic early in my career when I was really horrible at remembering names, I tried something a teacher suggested in high school...making sure I said the persons name when introduced: “ hi, Joey, my name is...” or “nice to meet you, Joey...”
It’s amazing how much something so simple can help so much!
Sorry for the long comment, just wanted to share how successful that tip can be!
@LTrain A I enjoyed reading your comment. I just learned something reading your comment. Here it is: I do the same thing as you. I will make a lengthy comment because I feel passionate about what I'm trying to say. Then I will apologize for the lengthy comment at the end just like you did. I'm not going to say, I'm sorry for a long comment any longer because I see now that it weakens the statement when we don't need to do that.
So here's a tip. If you feel good about your comment, own it, be confident in that comment, and don't apologize for it. If you feel it was for sure too long, then make it shorter. But on delivery, be fully confident about your comment. See mine is long right now, but I believe that like yours it was important and valuable information. So this time I'm not going to apologize for my comment's length. And thanks for teaching me that.
Hey again, your lengthy comment was valuable. I enjoyed it, so no apology was needed. Awesome read.
Make a video on how to put into practice and make second nature things we learn here. I think the knowledge is great, but how do we Actually integrate them in our lives.
this^
Yessss please
wow! learnt so much in the past weeks from you! Exactly what I needed☺️
I love this channel so useful 😊💕
Been in sales for 25 years. This was very helpful. Thank you.
1. Rationality is relative
2. Understanding others is a great strategy in general
3. ‘Because’ sounds very rational and logical
Love your channel.
~ Glad you're loving the channel Cassandra!
this video was very good!
~ Glad you like it!
I have just used the because tip with muy mum and it actually worked 😂
I saw your hiring question on another video you posted, used it. Def helped me get the job. I came across your video again looking for tips on presentations for that job. Just remember you. When I used that question on the panel interview, the room lit up. Thanks for the best advice.
As a literal gatekeeper who has a firm cut-off time for entry into the worksite, I am asked at least a dozen times every day, "Have you ever made an exception?" I also wear a name tag, so people use my name when asking. Everyone thinks they're special and that they deserve an exception. Almost everyone gives the exact same reason when they explain why I need to let them in. When I can tell someone is trying to manipulate me, and when they're doing so out of a sense of entitlement, I am not at all inclined to accommodate them. I'm surprised to hear these methods persuade others, so I guess anything's worth a try.