I would like to share my experience related to this video. Ten years ago, I was completely enmeshed in my first marriage of nearly twenty years. I had no idea what *I* needed and what my own boundaries were. Being lost, I'm not sure I was really able to listen to what my wife needed. I defined myself by the mere existence of the marriage instead of being a contributing, present member of the partnership. Compound this with the fact that she couldn't express her needs until it was too late, and you have the coup de grâce. I'm lucky that we remain a healthy family and co-parents. In the past several years, I had been doing some self-work until a new situation happened that blindsided me. The work I had done was helpful, but then some new awareness dropped on me like an anvil in a cartoon. I was too scared/not ready to face that I had lost my sense of self and didn't know what I needed or wanted in a relationship and life. Once THAT work began, things started falling into place and continue to improve (with the help of my therapist).
I would like to share my experience related to this video. Ten years ago, I was completely enmeshed in my first marriage of nearly twenty years. I had no idea what *I* needed and what my own boundaries were. Being lost, I'm not sure I was really able to listen to what my wife needed. I defined myself by the mere existence of the marriage instead of being a contributing, present member of the partnership. Compound this with the fact that she couldn't express her needs until it was too late, and you have the coup de grâce. I'm lucky that we remain a healthy family and co-parents.
In the past several years, I had been doing some self-work until a new situation happened that blindsided me. The work I had done was helpful, but then some new awareness dropped on me like an anvil in a cartoon. I was too scared/not ready to face that I had lost my sense of self and didn't know what I needed or wanted in a relationship and life. Once THAT work began, things started falling into place and continue to improve (with the help of my therapist).
Wow! Quite the story. I'm glad that your work has led to a better emotional place for you. Thank you for sharing.
So true.. happend to me every time..
Good that you can see it now. It can be the beginning of doing something different...